Comedian Richard Jeni Killed Himself at 49 in California

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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 11:17 am

My wife did a month of Chemotherapy. I watched her almost die. Never been so scared in my life! She fainted, but a big faint! I pulled the rip cord. They called a "Code Blue". I held the door open as 20 people ran into the room. Someone whisked me away. I was vibrating so hard, i thought I'd shatter! I was so freaked out! Oh God! I thought we would both die that day. In one week, she went from an Angel, to a zombie. I will never wish that on anyone, ever. She will be at 5 years remission this May! Horay! And she is the happiest person on the planet! And, she is once again, my Angel! Very Happy

Always will be too!

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 4:30 pm

Not all people who kill themselves are mentally ill; rather, suicide for them is an easy escape from an intense personal conflict such as marital or financial problems.

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:37 pm

^^ Marital and financil problems are often a catalyst for mental illness.
I would say at least 95% of the people I come across at work who take there own life are very depressed and fell there is no other way out of the black hole they are in. ( I work homeless drink and drug users) Most of these people are men, a large percentage of them are ex forces.
Taking your own life is never the easy option.

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:48 pm

ironman wrote:

suicide is an easy escape

I sure bet, to take that step isn`t easy at all !

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:51 pm

I just think it is sad that someone would get to that point that they fell that hopeless. A lot of people just do it because they are too scared to face stuff or whatever, but some do it because they are mentally screwed up. But either way I just really feel bad for anyone who thinks that their life sucks so bad as to put a gun in their mouth. Even worse for the families.

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:59 pm

This is unbelievable,

some peoples views here are completely neanderthal. mental illness can happen to anyone. there is a very very fine line between sanity and otherwise. there is no exact definition of normal. that in itself is impossible. as i offered Stargate, i`ll swap an hour of my worst times. and the most mentally stable of you will be reaching for the pills less than half way through. i don`t want anyones sympathy, but rather empathy, as in try to imagine what it is like if things get so bad for someone that the only option they can see is death.
i bear no grudge towards anyone with a negative view on this subject. just be glad that you never have to experience it, and spare a thought for someone who genuinely does.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 27 Feb 2006 Posts: 38

Hi,
The other thing often overlooked, is the immense amount of stress on family and friends of an individual having the problems. Trying to get help, not wanting to leave the individual by themselves (scared to) the feeling of helplessness, the effort required to try and get help, not knowing where to turn.
It can drag the family down, especially older parents......what then?
If these people with mental illness do not have an advocate, what happens to them? Often they become street people, and also it can lead to dual problems, addictions as well as mental.

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 10:06 pm

It can only be a positive thing that people talk about things like this.
Mental illness needs to be treated like any other illness not as a bit of joke.

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 10:57 pm

So we are all cast iron are we? We are human and we all have a break point.
Just hope you don't find it and resort to your own destruction. If it goes there,you need to ask someone for a lot of love, unselfish love.
I would guess that we have great deal of sensitivity here on 419. The worst things about people bring us together.
I am sure depression is a modern illness from pressure of life. It has no boundaries. EX SOLDIER, HAPPY, CAREFREE, Began goes down with it. Can you sleep at night, dreaming of jumping off the Severn Bridge? Thankfully I could feel the fear of death. A disjointed message here I am afraid. DEPRESSION IS TERRIFYING. You have to understand how frightened that person is when they do this. IT WAS ONE OF MY WORST EXPERIENCES IN MY LIFE.
It can be cured or helped. It is caused by imbalance of endorphins in the brain. The drugs you get these days are not "happy" drugs that blot out the symptoms, they are designed to attack that imbalance.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:43 am

^^^Good point. "Happy Pills" are the ones you get in a nightclub. anti-depressant medication are a mixed bag. some can make the problem worse, or have other physical/mental side affects. i`ve been through so many different types, they also don`t work straight away, they have to build up levels, and it can take a few weeks for them to have full effect, if they are the wrong type, it can be a really horrible time until you are taken off them. the fiirst ones i was on was Prozac, it`s strange how people make the "Loopy Face" when that drug is mentioned, twisting their finger by the side of their head, thinking that the person on Prozac is having a good time. i dropped 4 stone/57lbs while i was on them, i could barely eat a bowl of cereal a day. other types made the depression worse, or exageratted other symptoms. irritability being one. i was on a type called Zispin, within a week of taking them i was starving all day long, i put on 3 stone/41lbs in a very short time, i was also getting to sleep early, but having the most fucked up dreams, and being so irritable that the slightest thing would set me off punching walls and doors. i`m usually quite passive, i`ve only been in about 2 actual fights, and i don`t throw my fists in anger, i`ll fly off the handle occasionally, but to be trying to punch a hole in a door over dropping a piece of toast is quite a frightening experience. although the science behind the medication is advancing day by day, there is no exact science to actually prescribe said drugs. the only way to find one that works is to go through them one by one. then there people who need combinations, and one wrong drug can hve detrimental side effects.
About depression being a modern illness, i reckon it`s been around as long as time itself. some of the greatest minds in history have had depression. it`s only the fact that "unseen" mental illnesses are finally being accepted in the last 40 years, the most part being in the last 20 years or so, that sufferers are able to get a correct diagnosis and start the long road to recovery, although for a lot of people there is no recovery. i have had to accept that i`m never going to be fully better, i am going to have depression all my life. the same as the majority of others.
recently i was given a paper with short but concise explanations of the way a depressed persons mind works and thinks, i`ll scan and post it later today, it is very interesting and may be helpful to some people.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 7:59 am

@Stargate

Are you reading all this what you caused to be revealed....? Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Jun 2005 Posts: 54

A lot of people who have fought in wars come back with mental illness. They are not mental midgets, or wimps, they are some of the toughest most professional disciplined people on the planet. But everyone can be worn down by intense stress and traumatic experiences.

Also, as good as anyone's life may be at any particular time, everything is transient. And if you lose the things that mean the most to you, it can lead to depression, other mental illness, and maybe suicide.

What we need is understanding of how fragile people can be - and that people should not be placed in positions where they feel the only way out is death. Maybe a bit more compassion instead of so much judgment.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Feb 2005 Posts: 2301

Looks like my comments stirred the turd a bit. Since most people probably think I'm a cold hearted bastard, let me reinforce that opinion.

Okay, so let's assume that depression is a major factor in suicide. Fine. And, let's assume that depression is a mental disorder, or illness. I'll buy that. So, am I supposed to forget the pain and suffering caused to the loved ones, caused by someone killing themselves? Sorry, can't do it. In fact, it makes me angry.

Everything is a mental illness these days. You drink too much, it's a disease. You over eat and don't exercise, it's a disease. You spend like a drunken sailor, it's a disease. You can't sit still because your parents feed you Lucky Charms for breakfast, it's a disease. If depression is a disease, then a 40 year old man who has an inherent desire to have sex with 9 year old girls must be a disease as well. Am I supposed to have some type of sorrow because this 40 year old man can't control his urges? Nope. Sorry, once again, I can't do it. I say "scramble his brains all over the pavement." Problem solved. I've seen the "mental illness" defense used far too often, and I think it's a sham.

I hear about these teens who kill themselves because their boyfriend/girlfriend dumped them. My opinion is that it's a good thing they did it before they had a chance to pass that mental illness onto another generation. I feel bad for their parents. I feel bad for their friends. I don't, however, have one bit of sympathy for them.

Feel free to PM me and call me anything you want. I won't be offended. In fact, in my opinion, it's your right to do so, and I encourage it.

-SG

P.S. I've said my piece, and if another mod wants to delete this, I wont' be offended by that either. It really don't matter. I'm in the last 3 days of my current job, so typing this has passed the time.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 4:34 pm

@Stargate: The reason why nowadays many things are seen as mental illnesses is mainly, because a lot of scientific research has been done in this area and it revealed the physiological mechanisms of these symptoms and therefore showed, that it is in fact a malfunction of the body. I would suggest for you to read the wiki article on it, and you will see, that it really is more than just "feeling bad for no reason": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:15 pm

@ stargate (and everyone else...)
I think you are right.
In my own case my ex-wife cheated on me and took my little girl to live in another country. Haven't seen her for over 2 years. Despite spending 40.000 Euro's on legal fees she got away with it.
Broke, (in all senses), I turned to my best friend J Walker for help : didn't help. Tried Prozac : didn't help.
So yes, I do know what it's like to have lost everything you cared for, and feeling like there's no way out.. I even found myself clutching a big knife one day feeling things had to end. Why didn't I do it, Because there are still other people who care for me. Could I do this to my mother? No.
To my brothers and sisters? No.
To my daughter (even though I have no contact with her anymore)? NO

I know it's easy to judge other people's problems by your own experiences but I still find that if you decide to end your own life then you are basically selfish, because you don't care about the grief you cause : you only care about your own feelings.

As for myself, I got remarried and now have a little boy who makes me happy (though not a replacement for my daughter), and I explain to him he has a sister who lives far away... Got a good job, a good life, a great wife and kid .... And yes, my daughter is always in my mind, and missing her often brings me to tears, but I'm glad I didn't end it when I thought that that was the solution to my problem...

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:20 pm

Well after reading some of the posts in this thread, I've got to say that the way I look at this has changed.

I used to feel like Stargate

Quote:

I feel bad for their parents. I feel bad for their friends. I don't, however, have one bit of sympathy for them.

But I've realised that we all are different, we all have our problems, and we all react to life's situations differently, go I guess we can't generalize this subject.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 27 Feb 2006 Posts: 38

I understand Stargate's generalisation re the use of "mental illness" to cover so many of our actions. But until you have looked into the eye's of someone who has internal voices telling them that someone is going to kill them, and see the stark terror that is displayed, you should not be so quick to make judgements..........
Most people can not understand, unless affected directly by true mental illness.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:00 pm

Sadly, many people have a enormous naive knowledge about Psychology. Normally, I don't complain about it but I don't know where to start commenting this.

Stargate wrote:

Looks like my comments stirred the turd a bit... ... Everything is a mental illness these days... am I supposed to forget the pain and suffering caused to the loved ones,...

What do you expect, you're ignoring comments from experienced members, you're pouring even more salt into the wounds Evil or Very Mad

and you're comparing apples with pears.
I've seen many people who had a totally normal life like you and me but then, in a short period of time, ***pooof***, they became heavily chronically (psychically) ill for the rest of their life. Their fault? Their intention? Yeah, sure. Rolling Eyes

It seems that you surely wouldn't mind if your friends and your family will ignore you if this would happen to you, right?

Quote:

...pass that mental illness onto another generation...

Total BS.

On a sidenote, the same argument was used by my forefathers in a rather dark spot of my countries history. Evil or Very Mad

Get yourself something to read about this topic.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:05 pm

this thread != Idea

EDIT: A postwhore who wanted to remain anonymous asked me to post this because they spent 2 days, 8 hours crafting it (their English is not so strong): Laughing

breadcrumb wrote:

I want to add something: One part of a depression is, that you are feeling worthless and that you think you are good for nothing. And therefore you come to the conclusion that you are a burden for your friends and family.
A person suffering from depression is not able to judge about this normally. This is not a selfish act at all. It is a major malfunction of the brain. I agree with TSC, you must really do some homework here.
The brain is an organ just like the heart, the liver or whatever you name. And it can get ill just like them too. And since the brain is controlling our mind, our mind gets affected by it and it changes the personality of the person suffering from it.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:33 pm

I've unlocked it due to popular demand. Please keep personal attacks and flames at members who have a different point of view from yours to PM or this gets locked quicker than you can say "Mariam Abacha". Discussion on the subject is fine.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:59 pm

Someone who commits suicide often will think that their friends and family will be better off without them, sounds awful but it's true. Anyway, anyone who gets to that stage is hardly going to be thinking rationally about how others will be effected, they just want the pain to stop.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:06 pm

Here`s the paper i mentioned earlier. http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u212/SamSpudz1/CDD.jpg it`s more for those who have depression, but it might enlighten others to the thought processes of someone with this illness. as you can see it`s very short, but the book reference is at the bottom so anyone interested can search for further information. Fair enough that people have different views, it`s what makes the world go around. I`ve no intentions of sending anyone any PMs . But a point i raised has been completely missed or ignored, Victims of suicide are in such a bad way before killing themselves, that they fully believe that their loved ones would be better off without them. They fully believe that they are nothing but a burden on their friends and family, and that the best thing to do is to end their lives. it`s a screwed up way of thinking, and only a few of us will fully understand what that feels like. Just hope that you never have to experience it for yourself.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:17 pm

THANKS DON mod. This has come to be posting about different to the original post. It has given some of us excuses to express ourselves. If you you feel worthless, then attack a scammer and make them feel suicide is worthwhile. (Yes it is in their case.) I want my baits to feel worthless and commit suicide. If this is an option in your life then PM me first. PM as many as you like here. We are your friends.
Don -Lock this NOW!!

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:22 pm

^^ Thanks Began. No back seat modding please. Don didn't spend 6 years at university of mod school for nothing. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:27 pm

Yeah thanks Don Thumbs up

on a personal note, i`ve said much more about myself then i ever wanted to here. Eater and Ladland have been great distractions for me, and the last thing i want is to be classed as a whiner. Too late now thogh Laughing

Good luck to all.

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