Am I baiting Anne Bancroft?

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Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

I got the "I'm dying please help me find a place for my money" scam from a Mrs. . I decided to play it a la "The Graduate" and throw in as many references to the film and its soundtrack as I could**.

Here's my favorite exchange so far:

Me:

Quote:

Where I live in California, we have a saying that comes from the mountain people who lived in the Northern mountains, and I'd like to say it for you: Here's to you Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know. Coocoocachoo. This part means don't let the evil spirits get you -- so you say "coocoocachoo" to scare them off.

Mrs. Robinson:

Quote:

coocoocachoo!!!! did i say that well? my dear,am so glad i am surounded by somuch love.thank you.my be god is started to do his work again.am a bit stronger than i used to be.all thanks to the lord for your prayers and wishes.stay blessed my dear.you have not told me about where you are with the security company. till i here from you my dear,stay blessed.

**If this doesn't make any sense to you, please direct your browser to Netflix for the movie and then iTunes for the soundtrack -- you'll be glad you did!

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

Advise your lad to invest in plastics. Wink

edit: Don't forget a mandatory "Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Robinson" thrown in there somewhere as well.

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 7:52 pm

I love it JM! It has soo much potential.

clapping

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 8:12 pm

<br>Make sure you can get Mr Gladstone and the Taft Hotel in the bait somewhere.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Nice ideas! I love trying to turn her into a seductress (as she describes her various IV drips and repeated drug-induced comas!). Shocked

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:40 am

Can I suggest you use the lines "We'd like to know a little bit about your for our files. We'd like to help you learn to help yourself."

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:04 pm

And..."heaven holds a place for those who pray...Hey, hey, hey."

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 1:29 pm

Suggest she hide the money "in your pantry with your cupcakes"

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 2:49 pm

Tell her your financial advisor is Joe DiMaggio and you can't locate him at the moment.

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio.
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you (ooo ooo ooo).

Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 8:16 pm

Bring politics into it as the Democrats discuss the choice of their Presidential contender - you're "going to the candidates' debate".

[Assuming that you're American...]

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Most recent exchange:

Me:

Quote:

You said it very well indeed! I'll say it twice: Coocoocachoo,
coocoocachoo! In these dark times Mrs. Robinson, I always remind myself that Heaven holds a place for those who pray. Hey, do you think that maybe if you pray hard enough, that God might hold onto your place a little longer and keep you here on Earth? I hope so.

Mrs. R:

Quote:

my darling,how are you? and how is the family? its been a while since i toook so much time to talk to you.and i must thank you for all those words of hope and courage you kept sending me while i was unable to reply.i pray the good lord continues to bless you for me.i said those words,and i keep saying them everytime i have the strenght to do so{coocoocachoo}.i must also tell you,that you have always been a blessing to me eversince i meet you.i a short while of knowing you,you have made me realise that when there is life,there is hope.sometimes,i wish you where here to say those words you mail to me.i know with the lord,nothing is realy impossible.i hope the lord showers you with such love you show me.i pray you keep dwelling with him,and his blessings will dwell with you.i have to let you know i feel blessed and you make me glad always.god bless you my darling.

Time to get her to invest in some plastics.

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 10:09 am

JM--

You can always tell them you have suddenly come down with 'simonanda garfunculitis' by drinking some troubled waters.

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 10:18 am

What other Simon and Garfunkel references can be added?

Tell her "They call me Baby Driver" and "When I was young I carried a gun but I never got the chance to serve".

Add a line about your troubled times when young - "When I left my home and my family, I was no more than a boy..."

Mention your friend Richard Corey, who "went home [one] night - and put a bullet through his head".

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:59 pm

Get a phone number - you tried to call her but only heard The Sound of Silence.

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:39 pm

JMR

He just seems to have stuck your small S & G bit in the middle of his scripted reply. Crying or Very sad

Not quite a Newb Joined: 27 Jun 2006 Posts: 37

some quotes from the movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061722/quotes

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 2922

yastreb wrote:

What other Simon and Garfunkel references can be added?

Plenty...

@JMRazor

Tell her that "Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream" it was "Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M." you were on "Bleecker Street" and saw a "Sparrow". The sparrow said "Go Tell It on the Mountain"

So you went and said "I Am a Rock" ,you felt "Blessed" so much so that all the "Leaves that are Green" looked beautiful, but all you heard was the ""The Sound of Silence", but you felt overjoyed that you were"Somewhere They Can't Find Me" On the way down the mountain you saw "Richard Cory" who is a "A Most Peculiar Man", he spends his life as a "Roving Gambler", who thinks politics is corrupt and that the "Blues Run The Game"

On the way home it got "Cloudy" and that the clouds made "Patterns", on the way home you stopped at "Scarborough Fair" and rode on the "The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine", after stopping to buy some "Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme" you were glad to be "Homeward Bound" you even made it home in time for the "7 O'Clock News" even though there was a traffic jam on the "The 59th Street Bridge ".

You love spring as it reminds you of a saying an older woman once told you "April Come She Will" , you think this older lady now resides in "The Folks" home and that moving there had "A Great Effect" on her even though when she left all her neighbours were saying "Whew".

Next week you are going to be "At the Zoo" with "Old Friends", you'll take some nuts to feed the monkeys and that you'll buy them from the mom and pop store as their motto is "Keep the Customer Satisfied" . It's run by a lady called "Cecilia" who normally works "Late In The Evening" .She keeps telling you to read a book called "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover", though sometimes you think she's "Still Crazy After All These Years" and you try to leave after she starts on "The Dangling Conversation" , even so you do still love "My Little Town" .

Everything in quotation marks is a Simon and Garfunkel tune, and is in chronological album order as seen here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 9:06 pm

And let's not forget that the next time she asks how you are, tell her you're "feeling groovy".

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 2922

@Jimmy-just make sure you don't get "Lost in the Supermarket"... Laughing

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 9:14 pm

@JMRazor -
There should be 101 opportunities in El Condor Pasa alone.

@Donato - no chance. To avoid this, I have started to Train in Vain. Wink

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:09 am

Are you guys going to Scarborough Faire? (Did I spell that right)? If so, I could use some Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme.

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:47 am

^^^^I've been there. It's full of people waiting to die. A bit like Jersey, but without the tax breaks. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Wow, you guys are really on the ball. Unfortunately, Mrs. Robinson has lapsed into one of her semi-regular comas, and I'm left with the idiot lawyer...so until I can speak to my older love again, I'm left hoping that "April, come she will." Wink

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