Making my lad into a pro Wrestler *UPDATED!*

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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:02 pm

At the moment Im baiting as a Wrestling Promoter for the . Im trying to talk a few lads into becoming pro wrestlers in return for �12k (spandex ahoy! Laughing

)

I suggested to this lad a few days ago that he may want to see if he can find any potential superstars, and gave the names of a few of my own stupidly named "superstars" of the mat. This quote I got back made me laugh out loud..

Quote:

You are surely a superstar to be handling likes of Chilly
McFreeze and Hulk Wogan. Anyway I try my best to acquaint
with wrestling world and there is possibility to make some
investment there since it�s a lucrative business.

Note, it is very important you keep to yourself this
transaction in other to avoid lick-age of what so ever, hope
you do understand what I mean. (Edit: Erm...not really! Shocked

)

This bait looks promising...I'll keep you updated!

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:06 pm

Yup, avoiding lick-age, is extreeemely important in any business transaction, didn't you know? Wink

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:13 pm

in the end, lick-age will surely have something to do with western union - you'll see Laughing

All the best

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:47 pm

You have designed yourself a very fertile modality for some rib tickling opportunities. May I suggest some wrestling moves they should become proficient at:-

The forearm gooley crusher
The cross cheek buttock wrench

Act like they ought to know these moves if they want to be professionals, then you can slap them if they need them explaining, and they'll be paying full attention as you enlighten them. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:00 pm

Quote:

Hulk Wogan

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

You MUST have a video of them hitting each other over the head with folding chairs! Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:09 pm

Quote:

to avoid lick-age of what so ever

I totally agree.
As a kid I had a very nice pretty valuable stamp collection.
My kid sister practised "lick-age" and ruined the entire collection.
"Lick-age" is definitely bad.

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:10 pm

JM Razor, its like you read my mind. I wonder if they know how to perform piledrivers through tables correctly? Oh well, only one way to find out!

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

Isle of Beaver Wrestling Association?!

I'm still laughing!

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 2922

@gaz

Try this!!! Shocked

An Anus Explosion Deathmatch was an FMW special deathmatch where the loser or losing team were abused either by objects or fireworks.

all the good stuff found here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardcore_wrestling especially a large list of "permitted" weapons... Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 9:16 pm

So, I got a mail back from Mr Be77o, saying that he would indeed be willing to find me a new superstar. Yeeha! Sadly, he's still not caught onto the idea that most of my characters are rip offs of actual Wrestlers. Ive told him that the character I will give his Wrestler is the "Billion Dollar Man"..he still doesnt click...

Quote:

I called your phone several time and was not going through,
any other number I can call you with?

Well, you gentlemen are doing great in the field of
wrestling and I always love to associate with the
progressives. Anyway I will check with our wrestling
commission if any young man very strong and willing to take
the opportunity you are provided A.S.P.A �The Billion
Dollar Man� Quite interesting I must confess.

However, endeavor to scan, attach and email a copy your
passport soon, to enable finalize the documentation prior to
receive of the money in Athens Greece.

Yours faithfully.

Barrister Usman Bello.
cc: Barrister Mike Ahamba.

hehehe..I replied with one of my best mails to date. Not wanting to blow my own trumpet too much, but by God, this is good!

Quote:

Dear Mr Bello,
Good day to you, old fellow! Well, Im glad you liked my idea for the ol' "Billion Dollar Man" idea. I've been thinking about alot of new characters recently, but Im confident that this one will bring Pro Wrestling back to the forefront of sports entertainment here on the Isle of Beaver. Tourists used to come here to look at the sheep and rocks, but I hope that with the company expanding, people will come from all over the world to see the stars of the I, and it will soon be the main attraction.

Last nights show was quite fantastic. The main event was a massive success, and the dozens in attendance were in awe of some of the high-flying antics of our superstars. I tell you, Mr Bello, Hulk Wogan will be a legend in this industry one day.

Now, you were saying that you might possibly be able to find a superstar from Africa to compete here in the IOBWA? Mr Bello, if you were to do that, you would become a very wealthy man indeed. Dont worry about visas and work permits and all that nonsense, I would arrange that. In fact, our current tag team champions, the Mexican Monsters, Jose and Pancho, arrived here in Britain as illegal immigrants in 2004. They were doomed to a future of selling fake DVD's and Gillette razors from black bags in pubs, but I trained them into becoming one of our most popular tag teams. Dont get me wrong, they still shouldnt be working in this country, and they would be completely screwed if they were ever to pick up a serious injury because they would be refused treatment at the hospital, but how often do you hear of Wrestlers being injured?

To be honest, I would very much like to have him competing in 2 months time, at our annual Pay Per View, "WrestlingMania". Well, when I say "Pay Per View", its not actually on TV, but those in attendance will have to pay to view it, so technically, I would deem it a pay per view. I would appreciate it if you could find 2 or 3 candidates within the next few days, so I can at least send some kind of fitness regime for them to start, and maybe a few moves for them to practice on each other.

Now, regarding my passport, Im on the road, touring with the IOBWA just now, writing to you from my laptop and dont really have either my passport or a scanner at the moment, and its unlikely that I'll have one to hand before the end of next week, so I'll forward it onto you as soon as I can. Sorry, but Im travelling in the back of a Transit van with 8 other men, and theres not much space for a scanner.

Now, what is the deal with picking the money up? Will I have to travel to Athens to collect it? That really is quite a long way, and I am very busy at the moment with the Company. We are right in the middle of a tour of the Isle of Beaver just now. We're doing shows at the local Bingo Hall tomorrow, followed by the Community Centre on Tuesday, the PE hall at the local primary school on Friday, then the Bingo Hall again next Sunday, the Community centre again next Tuesday, then the PE hall again next Friday, and its pretty much like that up until WrestlingMania, which we will hold in the local Church Hall.

Whatsmore, I am due in court soon. Some Yank by the name of McMahon is trying to sue me for breach of copyright, by saying that Im trying to rip off his ideas. The bloody cheek of it, eh? Not to worry, Im sure my lawyer will sort something out.

Please get back to me quickly. In the meantime, I will start to gather some information to send to any potential superstars you may have.

I cannot wait to see what happens next. Im on a role here! Laughing

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 10:39 pm

Your could always bring back some of my old favourites. How's about Killer Karl Cox, Killer Kowalski, Brute Bernard, Haystacks Calhoun, and start to use the "brain buster" finishing move. Another good way to get a trophy, Get them all dressed in costumes, make sure the rules state, that there are no masks allowed!

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 10:45 pm

SamSpudz wrote:

Quote:

Hulk Wogan

Chilly McFreeze? Laughing

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 11:33 pm

Terry Wogan

Hulk Hogan:

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 11:34 pm

Moondog Mayne! Pat Patterson! WooHoo!

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Yeah, bring back the Moondogs! Moondog Mugu! I like it!

Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 3:27 pm

Just a wee update- my lad is working hard to find me a few pro Wrestlers, should have them shortly by the sounds of things, but he's sounding a tad worried...

Quote:

This mail is to let you know I am doing my best in respect of
the wrestlers, I have somebody to sort for these young
men� because parent are so apprehensive� if their child
are truly going to your place for wrestling and lots of
questions are bombed on me in these regards� obviously
they maintain and question why should they bear the burden
of securing passport, visa, BTA etc to their children if a
wrestling commission like yours are quite interested in
them� besides the parent do ask for some money too. You
can ask XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX The fellow
whom I gave charge to sort for healthy young man.

This is why I am suggesting for us to finalize the business,
then I will have enough money to calm their parents down
and the wrestler will fast leave to your place.

Frederick, we must to raise this 36.000.00 GBP to see that
they move the money to UK soon, I mean you can�t even
imagine what it cost me to secure the document in your favor
. Please I believe together we can contribute to assure
that the business is concluded and we then have enough money
to promote the wrestling or invest in any kind of business.

Yours faithfully.

Barrister Usman Bello.
cc: Barrister Mike Ahamba.

He wants �36'000? No problem ...All I need is a few photos of them in training..and maybe a video of a match or two... Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 4:09 pm

I was an old wrestling fan, this is a great modality, too funny!

You should have them try the "DDT" or the "Piledriver". Twisted Evil

Master Baiter Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 143

Try Gorgeous George.
Get him in a curly blonde wig and have him spray his opponents with disinfectant.

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