The name's N0rris, Lord N0rris

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 3:02 pm

This started out as a modality for a double bait FPoops and I are trying on a lad weve already got many trophies from. I'm trying it on a couple of others too. Lord N0rris is so rich he laughs at the lads' millions, so much so that FPoops' artist lad, Dino, who thinks he is dealing with another scammer, has passed on Lord N as a very rich maga from England. A man after my own heart, FP is gang baiting him as several people.

Quote:

I have one man an English. He claims he is very rich, according
to him. He said he is deaf because he worked on a warship and that he owns children's foundation here in Africa. I tried him on transfer deal but he said he does not even need my money.
>
> I think he is the type you need. Try him.
>
> Below is his contact;
(Lord N0rris' email)

Working behind the scenes with FPoops, N0rris has 'fallen' for the charity scam, and 'sent' the cash, with a tasty bonus aimed at getting a safari or 2 to darkest NE Cote D'Ivoire. Lad is being copied in on all the mail, and is being set up to make a trip to pick up a very valuable motor:

Quote:

Dear David,

I was very sorry to read of the plight of your poor children. I am
glad that they still remember me out in the colonies, Numpty and I had
some happy times out there, along with our trusty servant, Patsy, we
used to own Castle Aargh in Cote D'Ivoire.

My Butler, Geezer, tells me that we have had a lot of trouble sending
money to your part of the world, (as the lad has previously found out - we had a LOT of trouble Very Happy

)
however I have had Geezer send you
$100 via a Western Union Secure transfer. Please let me have the name
and location of the bank we need to transfer it to. WU secure delivers
to a specific location, so it cannot be intercepted.

Listen, I still have a valuable asset out there, I attach a picture of
me in my younger days, and a 1964 Aston Martin, that is in the
underground car park at the I
know it is still there, as the owner, Mr Faw1ty, sends me a storage
bill every year. He says he starts it now and again, it had a service
last year (he sent me the bill for that too!). If you can retrieve it
for me, you can sell it for your charity, it is worth at least
$250,000 in the USA, and I cant be bothered with the hassle of paying
the bills for it any more,. Also, Numpty has had her cousin, the
Queen, revoke my passport after all that trouble I got in last time I
went out there, just for shooting a few darkies.

If you want to go and get it, you can have it. Faw1ty has the keys,
I'll tell him that you're coming. All I ask is that if you have a
charity auction or something, make sure that the newspapers know I
gave it to you.

I attach a map of Cote D 'Ivoire, you will see Ouango above the
National Park (most of which I used to own) In the top right corner.

Toodlepip, old boy,
Keep up the good work.
--
Lord N0rris of Cole

God, I was good looking when I was younger.... Laughing

For those too young to know, that is a young Sean Connery, with the original James Bond DB5.

In a later email I sent a link (real) to a DB5 for sale in London at �200,000.

When (if) he gets there, FP wants to send him to Djibouti - I think when he cant find the hotel or car, we should tell him that Faw1ty already sold the car to , but the $250,000 cash needs picking up. Lad greed will hopefully take over at this point...

I am also spinning the same line to a Prince who wrote to me. To be continued, hopefully.

Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 3:08 pm

Quote:

Also, Numpty has had her cousin, the
Queen, revoke my passport after all that trouble I got in last time I
went out there, just for shooting a few darkies.

BAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 3:51 pm

Yeah that made me choke with laughter.

Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:03 pm

Stop it, you'll get me in trouble. I nearly self censored that bit, but being very old, Lord N0rris gets away with being very politically incorrect.

He's off shooting swans at the weekend.

Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:29 pm

I love the Lord Norr1s character. I think that he is one of my favorite baiting characters of all time. He's filthy rich, old, politically incorrect, and likes to do crazy stuff with all of his money (like purchase live rhinos).

Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:38 pm

/\/\ The rhinos keep the thieving pikeys (Gypsies) off the castle grounds. They don't get on with the tiger though.

The neat thing about being so rich is that I totally ignore all formats 100% - don't even read them. Saves loads of time.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 2922

@RoyCropper

I'll buy the car off you, is Western Union OK? 100% Risky Free!!! Very Happy

Would love to see some more B0nd characters appear...

Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:50 pm

No problem. However as WU only accept $2,999 at a time, I will need to send you 83 different names for the transfers.

I saw one of the real Bond DB5s last year, after many years of trying. I think there was 1 film car, which dissapeared when it was stolen in the USA, and 4 show cars, fitted with all the gizmos.

Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:11 pm

FPoops & I are setting him up a treat. FP's fake lad to me:

Quote:

LORD NORIS,

YOU MAY TELL GEEZER THAT MR. EMEKE DID RECEIVE THE $100 DONATION AND I
WANT TO THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN. THAT IS VERY KIND OF YOU.

WITH REGARDS TO THE AUTOMOBILE, I AM STILL WORKING ON TRYING TO FIND A
SUITABLE PERSON TO PICK UP THE CAR. Wink

ANY FURTHER ASSISTANCE YOU CAN GIVE
ME IS APPRECIATED I ASSURE YOU.

REGARDS,

Its all cc'd to Din0, of course. Guess who the suitable person will be?.....

Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:24 pm

Quote:

Numpty and I had
some happy times out there, along with our trusty servant, Patsy, we
used to own Castle Aargh in Cote D'Ivoire. I was very very drunk

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:06 am

/\/\.........'Took it off below the knee'.......... 'a rather striking mustache'................ 'SNAKE, SNAKE!'.......'made out of rubber'...... 'Her husband had been entombed in ice'......'me? in a girls' school? At 3am? What were they thinking of?................'the whole thing was built completely out of matchsticks'........'with the tiger!'....

Yes, thats Lord Norris, very VERY drunk at the time. No wonder Numpty has banned him from the internet.

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:22 am

Nice one

, i can`t wait to see this in full, crack open a bottle of the finest cognac for the old chap

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:40 am

Funny you should say that, I am also working on Prince Roy of Nigeria. never heard of him, but with a name like that he must be a good sort...

Quote:

Sorry, I don.t really want to be bothered with your cheque, what do I
want to be bothered with small change when I own 3 English counties?

No disrespect but I dont need it, and I am very very drunk. Do you
want this car or what?

I'd rather you had it than someone less princely. Do they have
Courvoisier out there in Bongo Bongo land, or do you drink fermented
goat wee?

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 1:49 am

does he go drinking with Prince Philip?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/quiz/questions/0,,660243,00.html

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/416992.stm

Very Happy

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 5:19 pm

/\/\ Lol! Lord N0rris and Prince Phillip like to go on a bender when they go on the swan shoot together, but Numpty doesn't really get on with her cousin, Liz.

Quote:

Do you still wear animal skins?
Do you still throw spears at each other?
Do you still live in caves?
Do you recognise your queen?

I must work some of these into Lord N0rris' replies.

Meanwhile, a fake charity has been moaning at him, they don't seem to like ITV5, or listening to the Hoff line for hours on end. A Skinner has already had them fill in a 72 page form for me, so they are getting a bit cheesed off.

Quote:

Sir,
I think we really have to talk now ,one on one,i have been trying to get you on the phone but your lines are not going just sounding musicals,can you call me asap +234 xxxxxxxxxxx,let us talk this transaction is making me grow goose pimples(Haha - that'd be good sig line material, if I knew what to delete),especially the process,what i am seeing in google search is giving me worries. Shocked

Moses

I have asked him what he means by that, and reminded him that I am deaf, following an explosion aboard HMS Eater in 1943. I wonder if his charity would like an Aston Martin? - I'll ask.

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 9:58 pm

ah Prince Philip, he should be given his own tv show...

In 1995 he asked a Scottish driving instructor] wrote:

"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test."

Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 2:22 pm

Our lad turns out to be smarter than we gave him credit for, this is from an email to his 'chairman', FPoops:

Quote:

First and foremost, the car must be having an Ivorian license plate, or
perhaps foreign (english) license plate. Did you verify from the Mr.
Faw1ty or Lord N0rris? That you should also do.

This is because transporting car from one country to another is quite
hectic, especially when the car is not being driven by its original
driver, or the driver is not enlightened with the documentation of any sort
attached to this car. Moreover, there are payments, as you travel,
involved during car shipment or driven from one country to another country.

This is not what 1000 can cater for easily. Believe me.

He suggests that Faw1ty should sell the car, despite Lord N saying he wasn't to be trusted, and whines about his %ge, in true lad style.

I have written to FP:

Quote:

The car is on a UK plate, as per the photo. Lord Norris has had bad
blood with Fawlty, having been caught in bed with his youngest
daughter. For this reason, Norris has arranged to DHL YOU the original
paperwork, as it is you who are going to sell it. I leave it to you
to negotiate with Dino re his cut, but obviously you have to field his
requests for $$ up front.

I'm sure that if we have to with the help of out friends at Eater we
can rustle up some kind of official looking certificate or letter
letting him pass unhindred with the car. diplomatic? Norris has
friends in high places.

Anyone who fancies joining in by forging a suitable document, its a 1964 Aston Martin DB5 in silver birch, here is the reg number (Note the bulletproof shield and oil jets in use):

Call me a perfectionist, but I even found this little nugget:
Chassis number DP/216/1
Engine number 400/P/4.

Here is Lord N0rris' address:

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 07 Sep 2006 Posts: 82

To follow up on this, Dino backed out deal last minute. And Cote d"Ivoire is no better place to be on Valetine's Day so I don't know what his problem is.

But never fail, oga extraordinaire, D4vid A8uj4, was successful at having someone go pick up the car anyhow, delivered it and got paid, and is now vacationing in Djibouti where good Dino is going to have to take a trip to if he wants to get paid.

Quote:

C'mon man, please, I apologise a million times.

and

Quote:

You got me, very tight, right
by the balls.

think that's going to need to go in my sig.

The name's N0rris, Lord N0rris	View next topic View previous topic