First Bait: 24 styles

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 16

Hey all, I came across this site/forum had couldn't stop laughing for days, its absolutley hilarious what some people have done here, good work! Anways, I got my first letter and response... I'll post em below and critiques etc, would be appreciated! THanks.

I can't get the original "job offer" but suffice to say, it was I get 10% for being an "inbetween" guy for transfering money, promising large sums (although no amounts have been stated yet)... I basically said I was very interested because I had jsut lost my job etc. etc. (i'll get the original emails later today, can't access them at the moment).

I already made my first mistake which i'll show below.

Attention Mr Jack,

Good day and how are you doing?
Thanks for the interest shown to my proposal. First i must thank you for picking up the consideration to be our payment officer via our customers who are ready to pay some of their outstanding bills. Well we are an organisation that started years ago although there are quite some number of such organisations Our organisation deals on Chinese and African textile and fabric material.

We export these products into Europe/North America. We need your assistance in establishing a medium of getting to our customers in Canada/America and Europe, Asia,Australia as well as making payments through you to us. Some of our customers are ready to start making payment right now and i also hope that you can be trusted consedering the amount of funds involved.

The way it works is this, I inform the company that we have a payment officer, they call you to ascertain and confirm a few facts and then they eventually make out payment. You receive the payment, you remove your 10% and based on instructions recieved from us, remit our own share. If we are able to build and sustain this business relationship(based on trust of course), then the frequency of the money will definately increase.
I would greatly appreciate it if you sent your complete contact details before given you the contact of our customers alright..

NAME.....................................................

RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS.........................

AGE:......................................................

STATUS:................................................

STATE/COUNTRY...................................

TEL/FAX NUMBERS...............................

OCCUPATION......................................

COMPANY NAME.................................

NAME OF YOUR BANK........................

ADDRESS OF BANK.............................

NAME OF ACCOUNT HOLDER...............

ACCOUNT NUMBER................................

COMPANY TAX I.D..................................

This is a safe measure to know exactly who we are dealing with. I would pass it along to our customers and within a few days they would contact you and perfect modalities of getting the payment across to you. Thanks and hope this is the beginning of a mutually beneficial business.

Thanks In advance
Managing Director,
Mcdonald Richardson

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
MY REPLY:

My Reply... you can see the 24 theme running through here....

Good Morning Mr. Richardson

How is my new boss doing? I was so happy to get such a quick response. I must tell you this new business is VERY exciting!!! I'd love to get started very soon, I will fill out your form them ask you some questions which you MUST fill out, ok???? Here we go!

NAME: Jack Bauer

RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS......................... 327 Sarrento Drive SW, los angeles california

AGE:...................................................... 48

STATUS:................................................ Feeling Good

STATE/COUNTRY................................... Los Angeles

TEL/FAX NUMBERS............................... none, at the moment... setting up a new business/fax number for this venture, want to keep personal/business dealings separate
Good delaying tactic? will get one of those free voicemail accounts set up eventually

OCCUPATION...................................... CTU Agent
first mistake, supposed to be unemployed! we'll see if they notice

COMPANY NAME................................. C.T.U

NAME OF YOUR BANK........................ Bank of LA

ADDRESS OF BANK............................. 111 Lake Copperton Drive SE

NAME OF ACCOUNT HOLDER............... Jack Bauer

ACCOUNT NUMBER................................ 247-233-69-1001

COMPANY TAX I.D.................................. NONE

OK, now on to my questions!

1. Where do you live?

2. Where did you get your eductation from?

3. How long have you been in this business for?

4. What is your religious affiliation?

Thanks!! Look forward to doing business with you!

Jack - your new partner!!
minor mistake, refered to him as boss at the top, then partner here

My next plan is to negotitate a higher rate... got offered 10%, gunna see if I can get 20% out of him...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
McDonald's reply:

Good Day Bauer,
Thank you for easily respond my customer want to make a paymen and i have sent your information to him and i need you to send me your phone number which i can reach you. payment will take place as soon as possible.
CEO MCDONALD RICHARDSON

Unfortunatley i wont be able to reply until i get home from work... Going to work on negotiating a higher % and introduce a little more 24 story....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MY RESPONSE:

Mr. Richardson,

The first thing I want to tell you is that I am a man of business, and
wont accept anything other than 100% perfection in this transition.

Throughout my dealings with CTU regional direct Bill Buchanan I
learned many methods of dealing with the very toughest of business
men. It is to this end that we need to renegotiate our deal.

Plain and simple I want 35%, not 20%. If the deals are of the
magnitude that you promise this should be no problem if you are the
trustworthy business man that I expect you are. Seeing as how I am
playing such a role this should be no problem. DO NOT DISSAPOINT ME
HERE. 35%.

I am still in the proccess of setting up my office again, as our last
one was ruined when an explosion went off at the regional
headquarters. Thank god no one was hurt, but i am investigation who
did this.

I must say though, i am VERY excited at the thought of our new deal,
we me getting 35%. At this rate i know for sure that we will do many
more successful business dealings. I have some business that i will
gladly cut you in on should these go well.

Talk to you soon, partner.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Got no response from him, but from his business partner who we are supposed to be getting the money from... still no mention of total $$ or for me to pay anything.. perhaps its for real? hahahaha

ATTN MR JACK BAUER:

Sorry i was told to contact you by Mr Richardson Mac regard the payment to you as the respresentative right,so right now i'am informing you to get me your full detail so that i can get your payment ready as soon as possible.

Please i will like you to open a seperate account in this transaction because you are working as a representative to ACTEXO TEXTILE LIMITED,so you have been ask to open an account with HOME EQUITY CREDIT LINE because that is my corresponded bank i work with alright,so get it done before i can prepare the wire transfer into your notable account.

Regard,
Dr Bill Lampard.
+447031848666

My response to the new partner:
Mr. Lamp,

I appreciate your email, however I WILL NOT be dealing with you until
I get my terms renegotiated with richardson. I can't believe he
ignored me, how unprofessional, are you sure this is a good man to be
doing business with? Have you had successfull transactions with him
before? Do not contact me again until richardson has given me what i
want.

I look forward to dealing with you in the future on my renegotiated terms.

Thanks.

Meanwhile I sent this frollowing email to our friend Richardson

Mr. Richardson,

How dare you try to get this deal going without renegotiating my terms as I stated in my last email, this is rediculous. You can't ignore my requirements!!!!

Because of deal of this magnitude, 10% is not nearly enough, I wanted 35% before, but now that you are starting to show signs of incompetence I have changed my mind and have new demands for me to trust you in this transaction, in addition to the 35%

IF YOU DO NOT MEET THESE REQUESTS THE DEAL IS OVER. I need you to prove to me that you are a 100% trustworthy and compentant business man. I REPEAT, you MUST DO ALL THESE THINGS OR THE DEAL IS OVER.

1. I just got my voicemail setup, call this number (206) 203-4104 and leave these following agent secret codes, so I know that I am dealing with you:

"The Flames will crush the Oilers in the name of Stanley"
AND
"The Crow flies by the moon at night"

You must say both of these VERY clearly, as my voice recognition software has to pick it up, DO NOT FAIL ON THIS TASK!!!

2. you MUST email me a picture of yourself, so I know who I am dealing with. So that i know its you, you MUST hold up a VERY LARGE sign with the "7 of spades" from a card deck, this must be print on a VERY LARGE piece of paper, very clear so that my photo recognition software can record the details and issue you security clearance. Make sure the photo is of very large quality.

Mr. Rich. I cannot stress enough how important it is to give me 40% and to follow the above 2 instructions EXACTLY. without these items, i am not sure if I can trust you enough to go on with a deal of this magnitude.

However I am looking forward to our business.

Jack Bauer.

now we play the waiting game to see what we can get
[/b][/i]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the dance continues

Good Day Jack Bauer

How are you doing today,i can consider the 35% if you can travelled to London or Indonatia
i have a customer who want to make a large payment of 100,000$ but i am have problem with the bank his using,i have call him that verysoon my representave will come and meet him for the fund,and i will add 5% to the 35% to make it 40% so if you can make it let me no so that i can give you the instruction to follow.
thank
CEO Mcdonald Richardson

notice he didn't meet any of my demands, what a jerk! ha.

My Response:

Mac,

You did not meet my demands that i sated in the other email... i have copied them below. ALL THESE MUST BE MET BEFORE I CONTINUE. Do not email me again until you have the picture and left the voice mail that I ask.

DO NOT FAIL ME.

IF YOU DO NOT MEET THESE REQUESTS THE DEAL IS OVER. I need you to
prove to me that you are a 100% trustworthy and compentant business
man. I REPEAT, you MUST DO ALL THESE THINGS OR THE DEAL IS OVER.

1. I just got my voicemail setup, call this number (206) 203-4104 and
leave these following agent secret codes, so I know that I am dealing
with you:

"The Flames will crush the Oilers in the name of Stanley"
AND
"The Crow flies by the moon at night"

You must say both of these VERY clearly, as my voice recognition
software has to pick it up, DO NOT FAIL ON THIS TASK!!!

2. you MUST email me a picture of yourself, so I know who I am
dealing with. So that i know its you, you MUST hold up a VERY LARGE
sign with the "7 of spades" from a card deck, this must be print on a
VERY LARGE piece of paper, very clear so that my photo recognition
software can record the details and issue you security clearance.
Make sure the photo is of very large quality.

we shall see what his response is.... i'd expect something back today (monday)[/i]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We'll I haven't got a voice mail or email from Macdonal for a few days, but I have been talking back and four with "Dr. Lampard" he is the man who wants to send the money....

This was my original response to Dr. Lampard:

Mr. Lamp,

I appreciate your email, however I WILL NOT be dealing with you until
I get my terms renegotiated with richardson. I can't believe he
ignored me, how unprofessional, are you sure this is a good man to be
doing business with? Have you had successfull transactions with him
before? Do not contact me again until richardson has given me what i
want.

I look forward to dealing with you in the future on my renegotiated terms.

Thanks.

HIS RESPONSE:

Let me know when you are through with him as regard your % alright.

MY NEW EMAIL TO LAMP:

Lamp,

We have renegotiated a deal, however I am waiting on a few other
stipulations from him, to prove his trustworthyness. As you can
imagine a deal of this magnitude, i have to be 100% confident in the
business partners that I choose. Once he has met these obligations I
will be willing and eager to continue. If you'd like to get in
contact with him to hurry him up thats fine by me! thanks.

Inbetween this lampie didn't say much, just basically telling me he's just the customer, yada yada, I got him convinced that he has to go talk to Macdonal to convince him to do my bidding... this was the last email i sent.

Mr. Lampie,

That is fantastic knews that you agree with me, i mean when you are dealing with this much money you can never be so sure right? I must tell you i am being put on assignment soon so I'd like to wrap up this business ASAP. My beautiful daughter kim bauer was nearly killed by a cougar a few seasons back, thank god she is alright, however she needs some of this money for reconstructive surgery. This will help so much

As I am place Mac D. through my security tests, I feel I must do the same to you. I mean after all we DO need to trust all parties here correct? To that end I need you to do the following:

1. in a LOUD and CLEAR voice please repeat the following phrase (along with any of your instructions) to my voice mail. You must type exactly as I say or my voice recognition software will not pick up on it. Please say the following phrase:

"The Canucks will die, burning in flames"

2 Fax me a picture of yourself with a sign saying "This is for Jack Bauer. Events occur in real time"

I cannot stress enough how important it is to do these two things quickly and precisely. Please talk to Mr. Mac, as I am starting to loose trust and faith in him. If he is to be trusted I would think he would have done this for me now. I have yet to hear from him for a while, i am worried this deal will not go through.

My phone/fax number is
(206) 203-4104

[/i]

As if I am going to call him..

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 3:56 pm

Welcome to the eater. and yes mistakes are made all the time.

You dont need a different post for every letter or reply from the mugu. You are able to insert in the same post.

Take a look on how to post.

You will be guetting a lot of comments and ideas. My suggestion to you is to keep reading the stickies. Not once but twice.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 16

thanks! i do realize you could do it all in once post, thought this might be easier to read? I'll Just post all future responses in the same post...

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 4:05 pm

Your lad is still on script, he's just sending you copy and paste responses. There's not much I could comment on so far, he's probably not even read what you've written.

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 4:38 pm

Yup, it's likely that he doesn't read anything you've written so far.

Don't let this get you down, though. If he asks you something he should already know, slap him and tell him to read your numerous emails again. Percentage negotiation is an excellent way to pass the time.

Hint: just reply to him with "Ok". See how long he lasts. You are an agent with a tight schedule, you don't have time to write elaborate emails...

Rule #2: Don't do more work than your mugu!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 16

Got a reply... is this the right forum for an "in progress" bait? couldn't find one so i figured this would be the best place.

Unfortunatley i wont be able to reply until i get home from work... Going to work on negotiating a higher % and introduce a little more 24 story

Another note, whats the best format for posting these? Having them all in one post, then the comments etc, the in the posts below?

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 6:24 pm

Sit back, relax and keep reading, Very Happy

you`ll get the hang of it soon

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Dec 2006 Posts: 123 Location: UK

Just relax and follow what everyone else does in theirs, ie the Main section, look at the religious bait into safari thread, thats a good example.

Also, its a great idea to get yourself a mentor (look at the top of this section for the thread), you can bug them for almost anything you don't know or aren't sure about!

Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 1:22 am

Jack Bauer.

Man, if Jack Bauer came in contact with these guys they'd wet their pants trying to get away. He'd probably chase after them with a machete.

"TELL ME WHERE THE BOMB IS!"

Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 5:20 am

He won't care or notice if your 'mistake' of confusing 'boss' and 'partner'. Not only is their grasp of English not usually fluent enough to tell the subtle difference, but they don't notice when I change their names or reply from different email addresses...you get the idea, they aren't the smartest folks in the world.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 16

Updates... got a response from his partner... no email back from Richardson about my renegotiated terms, so I added more on! Check the first post for the updates.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Moved here.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 16

got a reply, but he hasn't complied with all of my demands yet... although i did get a raise! 10% to 40%!

Master Baiter Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 143

You shouldn't get him to state obvious facts in his pictures. Of course the Flames will crush the Oilers!!! Very Happy

Is this the "Jack Bauer" I know?

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 16

Fatbastard wrote:

You shouldn't get him to state obvious facts in his pictures. Of course the Flames will crush the Oilers!!! Very Happy

Is this the "Jack Bauer" I know?

hmmm, depends what you are refering too....

Master Baiter Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 143

If we both know a damn stubborn redhead....then you are....If not, then I'm thinking we live in the same city and should get together for a beer.

Perhaps somewhere down around the Dome?

Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 5:05 am

Welcome. You may be reading your lad's emails word for word but I promise you he isn't reading yours. This is what they look like in LadVision:

Dear blah
blah blah I am interested blah blah I will send you money blah blah blah Western Union details blah blah blah.

It's good to have a general 'plan' for how you want to develop the bait and which modalities to use but at this early stage there really is no point investing a lot of time and effort into providing him with too many complex details. He's really not interested. Once you get him off script, and you can generally tell when this happens because the quality of his English will suddenly deteriorate, THEN you can start to mess with his mind because he has to think on his feet then rather than copy/paste more script. Good luck!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 16

Fatbastard wrote:

If we both know a damn stubborn redhead....then you are....If not, then I'm thinking we live in the same city and should get together for a beer.

Perhaps somewhere down around the Dome?

ha, i think we are probably in the same city and thats it... can't wait for him to leave the message!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 16

Been sending a few emails back and fourth, nothing too exciting yet, trying to get them to both leave me voicemails now... we shall see what happens. Check the first post for updates.

Master Baiter Joined: 14 May 2006 Posts: 139

Another Jack? Tell me it ain't so. Haha.

I started one in November, but my lad disappeared. Fear not though, he's back following a fatal car crash. So far he hasn't got to asking for money yet.