More legal advice from my dumb lawyer..

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Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 1:05 pm

I was off work last week, and opted to stay away from the computer for a few days. At this point, my lad-lawyer, Lampard Cole was frantcly trying to email me. Now, Ive had previous dealing with this lad below-

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=98037&highlight=

Where he gave some advice after I was arrested for streaking. Now, I needed a story about why I didnt contact him, and, as many of you will know, I have a good imagination for these, so I sent him this...

Quote:

Dear Mr Cole,
Good day to you, my good man. You will have to excuse my slow response to your recent emails. Sadly, all has not been well here on the . I went for a walk last Thursday afternoon, down to the Docks. I was happily minding my own business, when all of a sudden, a bloody chandelier fell out of the sky and landed on my head. Gadzooks! What are the chances of that, eh?

It gave me a rather nasty bump on the noggin, and landed me in hospital for 4 days. Turns out that it fell out of a delivery plane which was heading for Wales when some buffoon opened the plane door for a cigarette, letting the expensive cargo fall out, landing on my dainty head from over 20'000 feet!

The good fellow at the local bookmakers said that the odds of such a thing happening were over a billion to one. I tell you Mr Cole, if I was a gambling man, I'd be putting a rather large bet on as we speak, because after such an odd thing happening, I'd say my luck is in.

Now, I have tried to email Mr Wood on his new address, but keep getting failure notice. Could you perhaps ask him to mail me at once? Theres a good chap.

Luckily, he is right on the button with his legal advice!

Quote:

Dear Peter,
Where you able to get the name of the airline that was carrying the chandelier? Do you still have the part of the chandelier that fail on you? Are their people that can testify that, they saw this fail on you and that it was from the aircraft? Did you report this incident to the police?
If the answers to the above question are yes, do you know that you can make a fortune out of this?
I believe this year is your lucky year do not allow it to slip you by.
I am still waiting for you to answer my mails to you, are we moving forward in this transaction or not? If yes, when are you sending me the required sum that will accelerate this transaction?
Regards,
Lampard Cole

So, so many options as to what to do next! Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

What a friggin numpty, classic Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 1:26 pm

It's a good job that a chandelier is a 'light' fitting or it surely would have killed you!

How do you know that the door was opened by someone who was having a cigarette? It would be difficult to spot that from 20,000 feet away and I shouldn't think he would admit to it on landing.

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 2:33 pm

^^^ saw the smoke trails, which are quite different to contrails in appearance.

Or the butt could've landed at his feet.

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 9:11 pm

Radio chatter from the plane was picked up by a local radio enthusiast. The pilot notices the cargo door open light go on, and the co-pilot yells out something like "That @#$% Pete is sneaking another smake!" Then we hear, "A pallet's got loose! We're losing cargo!"

Somewhere along the way, the pilot used the plane's ident, and thus it was traced.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 9:44 pm

funny stuff, gaz! i think i might ask my new barrister for advice on a lawsuit for slipping on a porkpie hat that W.C. Fields dropped while juggling for a crowd! Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 9:58 pm

Nice stuff!!!

That is one awesome lawyer... ask him to represent you in a lawsuit.

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