An offer I can't refuse

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 4:13 pm

Poor Dan, he's a very stupid mugu. for a long time I convinced him that he had been accepted to play for Manchester United, and even sent me a birthday card to give to Wayne Rooney when I asked.

When that didnt work out he was reduced to begging.

After a long silence, he's back.

Quote:

Hello Friend
it has been a long time not hearing from you so how is your family hope everything is going fine we give glory to God almighty so please friend im really looking for a church that i can be pastorinn in UK as an assistant pastor can you please help me even if is in your church i know you help me thanks God bless

It will be a pleasure to introduce you to a fine church, just don't be surprised if you find yourself standing in a bucket in the sea, or down the tattoo parlour. Or in a hippo sanctuary in Ghana. Very Happy

I love it when they think it's their idea in the first place.

Quote:

Dear Dan,

Happy New Year, i am glad that you didn't write to beg from me again.

I have today been talking to my friend Brother Roy, from the Church of
Fundaligi0n. He can get UK visas for young members of his Church to
come to study to be a priest, in the UK.

Please email him at [email protected] You can also visit his
website http://zzzzzz.com/ so that you can see what a good man he is.

Tell him that you are the young student from Nigeria that I asked him
about. If you get over here I still may be able to see you play
football. is not far from us here at Manchester United.

Roy Cr0pper

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 4:21 pm

Isn't it true that to become a pastor in that church, you need to go over a waterfall in a raft or barrel and have the entire thing videotaped for our childish amusement? Very Happy

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 12 Jan 2007 Posts: 6

whilst people throw spears and stones at the barrel.

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 5:13 pm

Shouldn't all barrels be full of monkees as well?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Geez Roy. Where's the sport? I think shooting bunnies that have been staked down would be more sporting than going after this lad. After all, shouldn't you give them at least a smidgen of a chance? Razz

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 5:50 pm

Becoming a Pastor is not a laughing matter

The word pasto : and is used to describe feeding sheep
The mugu has provided you with your next tropy.

Ask him to send you some photos of him preaching a congregation among the sheep

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 8:37 pm

YeaWhatever wrote:

Isn't it true that to become a pastor in that church, you need to go over a waterfall in a raft or barrel and have the entire thing videotaped for our childish amusement? Very Happy

Yes of course...please...someone execute this idea before others do Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:46 pm

Dan must enjoy humiliation. I swear I have never mentioned that Roy is well connected with the porn industry, but he is now.

Quote:

Helllo Dearest father
im very happy please can you please if there is any porn company in the Uk im really seeking for a job but please im really still interested in still being a footballer i know you can help me so that i can be a very successful man in my life i have contacted him but he told me to take a picture not seeing the ground you know is impossible for me if you can still help me find another one and give the reply about the porn company you know in Uk
im having a problem is that Mr charles Saludo stole my ten thousand dollars
please i need to get to america and get work there please give me reply about these three jobs and the priest Job i really need it God bless you thanks
Regards
Daniel

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:11 pm

Your right that baiting Dan is like shooting fish in a barrel, speaking of which....

Quote:

Dear Dan,

I am very sorry that a Mr Saludo stole your $10,000, I thought you were broke?

I don't think that you can be a porn star AND a priest. Did you
contact Brother Roy? I havent heard back from him about your
priesthood.

I think football is out for now, Alex Ferguson, the club manager was
very angry when he sent his scout, Ken Barlow, out to Abuja, and you
didn't turn up. He shouted at me until my hair dried curly.

If you want to do a screentest for the porn industry, you should start
by sending a series of naked photos of yourself, or performing with a
girlfriend, to my old friend Victor Meldr3w, his email is
[email protected]. If you are too shy to do that, then don't
bother applying, shy boys are not what they need in porn.

The other job that you could get a visa for is as a stuntman, they
produce movies near here in Weatherfield. At the moment they need a
guy who will go over a waterfall in a barrel for the movie 'Tinga and
Tucker', playing the part of Auntie Jean. You will need to find a
waterfall and a barrel, and have photos taken going over the edge.
It's quite safe, many people do it every summer at Niagra Falls. The
barrel protects you from harm. See if you can get an aluminium beer
barrel, and cut the top off.

I enclose a photo from one of our test shoots. Obviously we need to
see you in the barrel, and wear a blonde wig, so you look like Auntie
Jean. If this is sucessfull, our film director, Anna Lynne Jecti0n,
will personally organise a visa for you.

So porn star or stuntman, you decide.

Your benefactor,

Roy Cr0pper

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:44 pm

Quote:

At the moment they need a
guy who will go over a waterfall in a barrel for the movie 'Tinga and
Tucker', playing the part of Auntie Jean.

And a picture of him with a finger on one side of his nose, nodding slightly to camera.

& yes, yes, I am old enough to remember Auntie Jean

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

To see how Barrister Charles Soludo stole his $10K, check out this thread:

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=98061

By the time we're all done with this lad I think everyone will have taken a piece of him Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:56 pm

asiaguy wrote:

Shouldn't all barrels be full of monkees as well?

Now, what did Davy Jones, Peter Tork, Micky Dolenz and Michael Nesmith do to deserve being stuck in a barrel with a lad?

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:07 pm

@ Jayhawk

Damn, I should have realised that Dan Danino was also the hapless claims agent, potter, the frequent begging and total lack of full stops should have told me to check the IP's. (Lagos)

Unfortunately, after months of baiting him as 2 people, I have introduced Anna Lynne Jecti0n into it - he's been trying to get her to pay the freight on the car she won for ages.

Bugger. Evil or Very Mad

If he doesnt twig, he's thicker than I thought. No connection with your bait though (other than him threatening you with me, his influential 'daddy') so you should be OK.

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:25 pm

Do not be shy. Ask for a video of the stunt. If a guy is willing to go over a waterfall in a barrell, I doubt that he will have any problems getting it video taped.

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 4:26 pm

One step at a time YW, this lad is too stupid to organize a sketch, never mind complicated equipment.

Jayhawk, you were right, Dan / Potter is far to stupid to notice my slip re Anna Lynne, anyway, he owes her a Mercedes BMW.

Perhaps he needs to get away before Interpol track him down. Of course they can amaze him with their knowledge of his plans, make him really paranoid. Wink

Quote:

Please father
so tell them what do i need to do so i can be a porn star member please need your fast response
what step do i need to take become a member please

I hope his photos aren't too graphic. puke

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Roy, you will need a Barrister to represent you in these transactions, and I just want you to know that Barrister Charles Soludo, the most respected Barrister in all of Africa, is ready and able to represent you. Laughing

This is one really really stupid mugu.

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 4:45 pm

I'll let you know JH. He is dumber than a box of rocks.

NSFW

Quote:

Right Dan,

If you want I will pass on your application to Mr Meldrew.

As I said, you may be embarassed by this, but if you are, then being a
porn star is NOT for you.

I need a few pictures of you with a girlfriend, if possible, having
sex or a blowjob. In any event, make sure that Victor will be able to
see your ERECT penis in some of the pictures, as size DOES matter.

So he knows its genuine, and not porn downloaded off the internet,
have a sign in the photo, with the name you want to use clearly
written on the sign. You may want to be Dan dannino, or you may want
to use another name.

Please do not let me down again Dan, I have used up too many favours
on you already.

Roy

EDIT:

Dan actually emailed Victor direct, where he fell in to one of my autobaits, where an autoresponder sends him an ASEM. He now has a 1TV5 code he is trying to collect as well. I cant see him ever having time for real scamming.

Quote:

Hello Friend
Hello please im really sorry that i cant really find the MTCN number why dont you just send the money through western union to the highest level of money they collect so i can please go and collect the money and move to liberia tomorow immediately i recieve the payment please i really need to move to liberia thanks friend i dont really know how to thank you, you re a very nice friend to me and God will bless you for your nice help thanks alot and God bless
await the money so i can move down to liberia tomorow.
thanks
God bless
so please friend just send the money through western union it will be easier for me to collect there
you can use my name as the receiver name Adigwe Daniel
and you send me these info so i can collect the money very early tomorow

Jayhawk, you could tell him that Interpol are watching the borders with Liberia in case he moves there. He amazed me by using a comma and a full stop. I'm jealous that you get 12 'please's, he never sends me more than 6 in one email Sad

EDIT: Victor just sent him a VERY graphic photo, downloaded from 'Her First Monster C*ck' or somesuch, so he knows what's required. I hope his mummy doesnt see it.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Actually Roy, I got 15 pleases. BadKarma got 12 1/2, but he said that he's got an email from the lad that surpasses my 15.

I'm working up a pre-arrest form to send to him. I need him to fill it out before Interpol shows up at his door to arrest him.

I wouldn't be too concerned about him fleeing across the border. I think he's too broke and too stupid to leave his home. I'm amazed he finds enough money for the cafe.

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:00 pm

If he falls for this, I think you should be surprised at not only his finding money for the cafe time, but that he actually remembers where the cafe is!

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:14 pm

Well he can't find a chick, but he is game for some NSFW mugu pix:

Quote:

ok what if i stand lonely naked Shocked

and take the picx is that not ok

Oh God, Boatofucket are going to be deleting my pictures again, I can see it coming...

Meanwhile, Victor gets an email from a Joseph Franklin, in a strangely familiar style:

Quote:

Hello Friend
please friend im from nigeria, joseph , my mom and dad is dead and im looking for somebody to sponsor me in my schoolling and now he is trying to kill me please .
please friend can you just help me i really need to help to save my life please i beg you friend God will richly bless you for your help just help save my life please
if you can just help me out with some money so i can move down to europe for my skooling please i dont want to die please dear friend please and the almighty God of heaven and earth will pay you for your Good deed
God bless
await your fasr response

Persistent little bugger, isn't he? I'll send him some punctuation.

EDIT: Hang on, if his dad is dead, how is he going to kill him? Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:53 pm

Don't be surprised if he sends you these NSFW pics. Daniel/Joseph/Derrek/Dan is Mr Schlong.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ Damn zombies again. I tell ya, they're everywhere.

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 7:42 pm

Eww no, we don't want those pics again, so Victor has reconsidered.

Quote:

Dan

Re your earlier letter, about standing alone.

I thought about this, and no, that wont do. We have had people come
over here before that have turned out to be gay. I have nothing
against that, but if you cant get hard with girl, then you are no use
to me, however big your dick is.

For this reason, I must insist that you borrow or rent a girl from
somewhere, then we know that you are not frightened of them. It
shouldnt cost you any more than a solo photo, unless you use a hooker.
In any event it will be worth your while if you get the job.

Victor

Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 11:42 am

Surprising news, and confirmation that Dan is surrounded by a plague of Eaters...

Quote:

Hello Dad
I dont mean a porn movie anymore i mean i want to become an actress i mean but if you can help me there is this porn company they told me to become a member and i sucided in becoming a member and they now send me money that i will use to go to America to start acting movies and Mr charles saludo was now the obstacle inside he now stole the money instead of sending it to me so please Dad can you please help me out with some money so i can go to America and become a member please Dad.
and the company said that if i dont come they are going to arrest me so please Dad i just need you to help me please i promise you is true this is the company name Joorn porn industry please Dad just send me some money please so i can go i promise God bless
i will not let you Down please
here is the money the company pay per filming day 3400 in word three hundres thousand four hundred dollars so please Dad this can make me be a better person in my life thanks alot await your fast response

He did warn Jayhawk that he was going to tell on him to Roy Cr0pper! Rolling Eyes

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He's "on" to be as a fraud because I asked for the money in dollars. The funny thing is, that's the only part of my story that actaully makes any sense. I've explained to him a number of times that I paid the expenses in U.S. dollars because that was what was inside the briefcase I picked up. I used his money to pay the expenses. He doesn't seem to be able to grasp that one yet.

I just hope that Mr. Roy Cropper doesn't tell him that I'm a fraud!

edit - Nine pleases's in that one. I've seen better, but I've also seen worse. On a scale of 1-5 on the please-o-meter I rate that one a solid "2.5."