New Member Part 2...

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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:04 pm

Thanks for your replies to my posting � along with your kind advice. No, no, no! Let me stress that I�m not old enough to have been a member of the Political Warfare Executive! A pity really, because those people must have had lots of fun denigrating the Nazis. No, I merely came across information about this organization whilst serving in the army. I was involved in the Cold War, not the Second World War. You people are also right about giving away too much info about myself. My only excuse is I left the army some time ago, so I guess I�m a bit rusty. I was merely trying to establish my bona fides. Actually, when you think about it, this is a pretty stupid expression. After all, I know my bona fides exist, so why should I need to establish them? Enough of the semantics. I did do a bit of scam baiting about year ago when I started getting those emails from Nigeria offering to transfer large funds into my account. I found it rather amusing that anyone would think I was that gullible.

It was also somewhat ironic. Before becoming a full time freelance writer, I ran the overseas advisory department of a correspondence school in Manchester. Most of our students were from Nigeria and we�d have a good laugh at the pathetic excuses they came up with for not paying their fees. (We also found some of their names quite amusing. My favourite was the surname Shita. We�d have great fun devising double entendres in our correspondence.) The Accounts Department were getting quite concerned about the number of students who fell behind with their payments. So I decided to employ some psychological warfare. To make them feel important, I gave the students the impression that their correspondence school was on a par with Oxford and Cambridge, (it was actually situated on the second floor of an old Victorian building in the city centre.) I then devised this system whereby students who fell behind in their fees were given a series of polite warnings, as befitting a top educational establishment. Eventually students were warned that they�d be referred to the Student Disciplinary Committee. Chaired by the Dean, this august and non-existent body, consisted of the senior tutors and it was in their powers to expel students. It worked a treat and most of them found the money to pay up. It only backfired once when one of the students came to England and paid us a visit. When he expressed some surprise at the surroundings, I told him there�d been a fire and this was merely some temporary accommodation. I hasten to add that this was before the Trades Description Act, otherwise we�d have been in the sh*t. Yes, I know what you�re thinking. This sounds just like a scam. However, unlike a scam, we were actually providing them with a genuine service.

Where was I? Yes, my response to these scammers was to pretend that my email address was part of an automated flagging service run by the American Department of Justice. And to warn the sender that they were suspected of laundering money for organised crime or international terrorism. As a result, the CIA along with the intelligence agency in their country had been alerted. If they were genuine they were asked to report to the nearest police station and provide proof of their innocence. Only one scammer bothered to reply and he tried to assure me that he was not a crook or a terrorist. I simply repeated the message. Since then, I�ve had no others. Pity, really. Like you lot, I just love pi**ing these people off.

Finally, I mentioned I�d doctored some photos of Hitler. These were for a project I was working on involving the fictitious discovery of Hitler�s photo album. An album that showed he was Gay. The album, supposedly bound in leather and embossed with a golden Nazi eagle, even had an introduction written by Reichsleiter Martin Bormann. On reflection, this could make an excellent scam. Remember the fictitious Hitler Dairies? Maybe we could persuade some gullible scammer to believe the photo album were genuine and that he could make a fortune out of it. What d�you think?

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:13 pm

Can't wait for part 3.

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:17 pm

Just to check... You do know that you can click "Post Reply" in your old thread, you don't have to post a new thread each time you want to say something?

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

@ Mjk, there was no need for you to start a new topic, you could have posted this in the other topic you started!

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:24 pm

Yes, I know I could have posted this in my other topic. I just thought I'd try something new.

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:29 pm

For future reference - It makes a lot more sense if you keep posts about one topic in the same thread. The only reason you should ever start a new thread for an existing topic is if the previous one's been dead for a while (about 2 weeks plus, usually). The reasons for this are firstly, that people reading won't have to trawl the forum looking for the previous thread you're referring to, and secondly that it prevents the forum becoming cluttered with unnecessary threads.

Anywho, welcome to the forum, get reading, bait safe!

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:39 pm

mjk,
Before you start to try too many new things please bear in mind that we've seen most things that recently joined members think will interest us.
Some of your 'new' things may get jumped on very shortly.

We don't encourage the opening of multiple threads on the same topic.
We don't encourage political discussion/rants/opinions.

Now, what else have you got to irritate us with? Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Old soldiers never die, unfortunatley Laughing

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:46 pm

mjk wrote:

Like you lot, I just love pi**ing these people off.

We like to limit that to scammers.

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:02 pm

Quote:

I just love pi**ing these people off.

Well you clearly have a talent for it so grab a lad and I wish the poor sod the very best of luck Laughing

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:08 pm

Oh, and next time please also post an abbreviated version for me please.

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:16 pm

"Hi I'm new here" would have sufficed. Now I have a headache from reading all that! Shocked

Oh yeah, welcome to Eater Very Happy

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:42 pm

Oh dear! Where do I start? I�ve already annoyed a moderator. Some poor sod merely trying to earn their bread and butter and along comes a w*nker like me. Bredan Butter? You don�t happen to write the headlines for the Sun, do you? Now you know why the Conservatives called me a sarcasshole. I played the same trick on them. Instead of replying to posts, I would often open new ones. Fortunately their moderator was more tolerant. Most of the ideas have been done, right? So that�s the Hitler one down the drain. I suppose I could use the little medical expertise I gained training as a nurse and a psychotherapist to invent a new drug more powerful than Viagra and sell it to the scammers. But that�s probably been done to death by now. As for dealing with scammers? Back in Germany we were facing the GRU, the KGB and the Stasi. And believe you me, these people were far more sophisticated and intelligent than the majority of scammers you get out there. As for using less text? I�m a writer! Okay, I could take a leaf out of Hemmingway�s book, (there�s a pun there), and cut down. But don't hold your breath.

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:47 pm

mjk wrote:

Most of the ideas have been done, right? So that�s the Hitler one down the drain. I suppose I could use the little medical expertise I gained training as a nurse and a psychotherapist to invent a new drug more powerful than Viagra and sell it to the scammers.

I don't think that's quite what was meant. We've got no objection to people using tried and tested methods for scambaiting, the point BB was making was that most people aren't bothered whether you were a secret agent in the cold war or whether you work at the local McDonalds when we've heard it all before, so you needn't write an essay telling us your history, when a simple "Hi, I'd like to learn how to scambait" would suffice Smile

One thing I'd recommend to get yourself started is to sign up for our Mentoring Program, your mentor will let you know all you need to get started, help you through your first few baits and beyond.

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:50 pm

Quote:

Fortunately their moderator was more tolerant

Yep well, the mods here keep this place running and therefore need to be strict every now and then. We love them for it. If everyone started opening new threads this forum would become unreadable after a few hours.

Please bear in mind that yes, this is general chat, and yes, all new members are welcome here. We are a pretty inclusive community. But new members are advised to read up and see the way this board functions and try to fit in.

You will notice that when you stick to the rules and focus attention on yourself in a way that is more common here, people on this board are very friendly and welcoming.

Okay, any troll betting going on? Laughing

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:27 pm

mjk wrote:

Oh dear! ... I�ve already annoyed a moderator. ...

@mjk

No, you've already annoyed *all* of the moderators.

I'll get to the point, and I believe I speak for the vast majority of the members here: turn down the volume, quickly.

We really don't give a <strike>toss</strike>damn about <strike>the crap</strike>most of what you've been <strike>spewing</strike>writing here.

We bait 419 scammers. Please, limit it to that. Starting now.

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:30 pm

I just want to go on record as saying how awesome I think mjk is, and how lucky we are that he is now posting here.

419Eater is a million per cent better with mjk here.

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:32 pm

Well, I'm going to move to Macclesfield Very Happy

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:52 pm

I must stress that wasn�t a secret agent � the British Army don�t employ them. The recruiting officer merely hinted they might in order to sign another sucker on. And my contribution to the Cold War was negligible. I also thought it might be useful to describe what little talents I might possess. Just in case anyone needed them. If I gave anyone the impression I was boasting, then I must apologise. Yes, I�d like to contact a mentor. There�s just one slight problem: I�ve mentioned that I have a sarcastic streak. You may have noticed it. I also have a tendency to make jokes. I fear the temptation to tear the scammer�s opening letter to pieces and humiliate them would be too great. You see, I know my limitations. I�d rather leave that to the experts like you. So why did I join 419eater? Well, I hoped I might be able to take a backroom role. To provide ideas and material, like the Hitler one. It�s just that some of the stuff I�ve got stored on my hard drives might be useful. Conversing with those people whilst keeping a civil tongue in my head, no. I�d probably be more useful supplying you with ammunition you can use.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 21 Dec 2006 Posts: 40

Prospective mentors please form an orderly queue Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

mjk wrote:

I fear the temptation to tear the scammer’s opening letter to pieces and humiliate them would be too great.

Correct, we never educate the lads, if you tell them what is wrong with the scam email formats, they will learn and improve them, nothing to stop you giving them incorrect information though Wink

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:56 pm

mjk wrote:

... Well, I hoped I might be able to ... provide ideas and material, like the Hitler one. ...

Ok, you've done that.

Now please wait quietly for interested parties to contact you. No need for further advertisement.

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:58 pm

mjk wrote:

I must stress that wasn�t a secret agent � the British Army don�t employ them.

I was exaggerating when I said that - probably should have made that clearer Razz

While it's great to hear that you're keen to come up with ideas about baiting etc, you wont really find that your ideas will be very workable unless you've got a good idea of how the scams run first. I'd recommend that once you're assigned to a mentor you ask them to help you concentrate on "straight baiting", where you behave as much like a real victim as possible and just "go with the flow" of the scam to learn how things work, what they ask you for and when etc. In this context you can still pick the scam apart, but only if you stick to asking about things someone who believes the scam would ask.

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:59 pm

Okay, I like a challenge. I will mentor you. PM Cherrie and tell him I volunteered. Laughing

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 3:30 pm

Persephone? You�re Greek, eh? Alas, you may regret your decision to mentor me. Let me reiterate: if I were to become directly involved with these scammers it would be disastrous. Whilst you lot are quite happy to string them along, I�d be inclined to tear them to pieces. I just can�t help it. So it�s perhaps best I don�t have direct contact with them. Believe it or not, I used to be good at dealing with people. Before I left the NHS I was a group therapist in a unit for disturbed adolescents. And I�ll bet they were far more challenging than any scammer. (I really must stop boasting! It clearly upsets some people.) Since then I fear the milk of human kindness has evaporated. As for knowing how the scams work - Shiver�s excellent work has also given me some insight. Quite frankly, their efforts are pathetic! My devious nature, coupled with a modest degree of creativity, enables me to come up with far better and more realistic scams. Maybe I�m missing my vocation. Ooops! I'm boasting again...