**update** - 2000 mile safari and he is going to Ghana next

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Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:38 pm

How sad that he is pissed�

Did you get to talk to him much?

I am really sad that I missed this meeting- I feel terrible. My reputation is ruined!

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:40 pm

UPDATE!!!

I love when they are apologetic for us. Keyser Soze just received this from our lad, with a different IP address than the original:

Quote:

good day raymond,
i got your message just now.at first, i was worried when we got to the airport and we were waiting for many hours and we could not find you. i felt very bad but when i heard youer call i was happy because my tension came down.
we shall come to receive you because from what you were saying now, yu guys wont be able to leave maiduguri until you see us there.
well, am very sorry for the stress and ambarrassement you might have passed through..
i will give you a call now but pls just wait there till we come to receive you.
once again, am sorry about the embarrassement.
we shall come there but if there will be any change in the arrangements,then i will leave a message for you on your phone so once you see my message on your phone just call me immediately.
how about sal? and the transporter?are they around too?

He is on his way 200 miles north, which is farther out of the way.

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:47 pm

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:52 pm

Nice work guys! Hopefully your lad runs out of gas or his bus breaks down.

BW

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:58 pm

I made sure that he took the spare tire out because we would need room for all of the stuff I was bringing him. Wasn�t that nice of us?

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:05 pm

I didnt know you guys got 'the transporter' in on this too! I hope the mugu doesnt break any of the RULES...

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:18 pm

Kenny left me some voice messages. one telling me that he is on the way, one was too short, and the last was him telling me that he is at the airport. he sounded kind of pissed in the last message, and he wanted to know exactly where we were.

Can I export voice messages from skype into sound files?

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 3:18 pm

I have just received a satisfying email from Kenny

Quote:

GOOD DAY RAYMOND, WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU AT THE
MADUGURI AIRPORT FOR ABOUT SIX TO SEVEN HOURS NOW AND
WE COULDN'T FIND YOU PEOPLE.INFACT, WE CHECKED THE WHOLE
AIRPORT AND THERE WAS NO SIGN THAT ANY AIRCRAFT CAME FROM
LONDON OR USA.WE ASKED FOR THEIR AIR MANIFEST WHERE THEY
NORMALLY HAVE RECORDS OF DIFFERENT AIRFRAFTS LANDING EVERYDAY
BUT STIL THEY SAID THERE WAS NO RECORD THAT SHOWS YOUR ARRIVAL IN
THE MADUGURI AIRPORT. WE STAYED THERE FOR ALMOST EIGHT HOURS
BEFORE WE FINALLY WENT TO SLEEP.

THE IMMIGRATION OFFICER I CAME WITH THOUGHT I LIED TO HIM BUT
I TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT I CAN NEVER LIE TO HIM THAT I HAVE
SOME VISITORS FROM ABROAD.HE FELT VERY BAD AND DISSAPOINTED THAT I WASTED HIS TIME FOR THREE DAYS.THE DISTANCE FROM OUR CITY TO MADUGURI WHERE YOU SAID YOU LANDED IS TWENTY THREE HOURS BY ROAD AND WE CAME BY ROAD.CAN YOU IMMAGINE WHAT STRESS WE HAVE GONE THROUGH? AND SOMEPART OF THE ROADS WERE VERY BAD AND FULL OF GALOPS.INFACT, WE PASSED THROUGH HELL WHILE WE WERE COMING;TRYING TO LOOK FOR YOU GUYS. WE FINALLY EXAUSTED ALL OUR MONEY WHILE LOOKING FOR YOU GUYS. WE WERE MAKING SO MANY CALLS TRAVELLING HERE AND THEIR AND TRYING TO FIND YOU ALL BUT STIL ALL OUR EFFORTS WERE TO NO AVAIL.
UP TIL NOW, THE IMMIGRATION OFFICER THAT CAME WITH ME COULDNT BELIEVE I WAS TELLING HIM THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR ARRIVAL. HE ASKED ABOUT THE AIRCRAFT NUMBER BUT I SAID HE SHOULDNT WORRY;THAT I KNEW YOU GUYS WERE COMING.
I MADE HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU GUYS STIL CALLED ME TWO DAYS BEFORE YOUR ARRIVAL AND THAT YOU SENT ME COMFIRMATION EMAILS CONCERNING YOUR ARRIVAL.
RAYMOND, I NEED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED RIGHT NOW AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR DO AGAIN.INFACT, AM SPEECHLESS.
I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU GUYS EARLIER THAT WITH THE HELP OF THE
IMMIGRATION OFFICER THAT I CAME WITH ME, YOU GUYS DONT HAVE PROBLEMS.
EVEN IF YOU DECIDE TO LAND IN LAGOS,HE WILL WELCOME YOU ALL AND
ACCOMPANY YOU DOWN TO MY HOUSE AND HOTELS WITHOUT ANY PROBELM. HE HAS HELPED ME IN WELCOMING AND ACCOMPNAY MANY FOREIGNERS WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM AND MOREOVER, HE IS A MAN OF GOD AND EVERYBODY KNOWS HIM IN HIS OFFICE(IMMIGRATION OFFICE) HE HAS BEEN IN IMMIGRATIUON OFFICE AS A STAFF FOR TWENTY-ONE YEARS. HE HAS A GOOD RECORD THERE AND HE HADNEVER COMMITTED ANY CRIME THERE AND THATS WHY HE IS STIL THERE TILL TODAY.

I DONT WANT TO TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT HIM NOW. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING TO YOU GUYS.MUST IT BE THAT YOU TOLD ME A LIE THAT YOU LANDED IN MADUGURI? OR YOU SEND ME EMAIL TELLING ME LIES THAT AN IMMIGRATION OFFICER WANTED TO COLLECT BRIBE OF $3,000 FROM YOU?CAN YOU BE TELLING ME LIES? I HAVE NEVER KNOWN YOU AS A LIER
SINCE WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS SO AM VERY COMFUSED RIGHT NOW. WE HAVE REALLY SUFFERED GREATLY ON THIS 23 HOURS TRIP FROM IBADAN TO YOLA AND FINALLY TO MADUGURI.IT WAS A SERIOUS TERIBLE JOURNEY.

WELL, RAYMOND, WHAT I WILL TELL YOU IS THAT IF TRULLY YOU GUYS ARE INNIGERIA, THE BEST YOU CAN DO IS TO WRITE ME AND LET ME DIRECT YOU
ON HOW TO FIND YOUR WAY TO MY CITY.MY CITYU IS TWO HOURS DRIVE TO LAGOS. THATS THE BEST THING BECAUSE THE IMMIGRATION MAN MAY NOT BELIEVE ME AGAIN UNLESS HE SEES SOME PROFS.

HE IS A HIGH RANK IMMIGRATION OFFICER AND EVERYBODY KNOWS HIM VERY WELL.EVEN WHEN WE GOT TO MADUGURI AIRPORT, EVERY BODY IN THE ARRIVAL OFFICE WERE SALUTING AND RESPECTING HIM BECAUSE THEY RECORGNISE HE WAS A SENIOR OFFICER IN THE IMMIGRATION SERVICE.

RIGHTNOW, I CANNOT DECIDE FOR YOU,THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT.
GOD SEES MY HEAR BECAUSE I HAVE REALLY TRIED MY BEST BOTH IN
PRAYER AND ALSO IN KIND TO MAKE SURE YOU GUYS DONT GET INTO TROUBLE BUT YOU SAID YOU PREFER TO ARRIVE IN YOLA.

I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU THE FACT.NIGERIA IS A NOTORIOUS COUNTRY AND I DONT WANT YOU TO FALL INTO THE WRONG HANDS.IF THE IMMIGRATIUON OFFICER I CAME WITH WAS ABLE TO MEET YOU AT THE AIRPORT, NO POLICE OFFICER WILL STOP YOU ON THE ROAD.AM A NIGERIAN AND I KNOW HOW THINGS WORK HERE.

HIGH RANK IMMIGRATION OFFICERS ARE MORE RECORGNISED AND RESPECTED THAN HIGH RANK POLICE OFFICERS.

ANOTHER GOOD TRUTH ABOUT THE IMMIGRATION OFFICER I CAME WITH IS THAT "APART FROM BEING AN IMMIGRATION OFFICER, HE IS ALSO A MAGISTRATE/JUSTICE OF PEACE.I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
HE CAME WITH ALL HIS ID CARDS AND CREDENTILAS JUST TO PROVE TO YOU
GUYS THAT HE IS REAL AND HONEST. NO DUBIOUS OR USELESS PEWRSON CAN DO THAT.

LEAVE ALL YOUR PHONE NUMBERS WITH ME WHEN REPLYING THIS EMAIL.
I HAVE CALLED YOUR LINE AND LEFT MORE THAN FIFTEEN VOICE MAIL
MESSAGES.GET ME YOUR CEL NUMBERS IN NIGERIA IF YOU FIND IT HARD
TO CALL ME.
CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE MY MIND IS NOT AT REST RIGHT NOW. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU GUYS.IF TRULL\Y YOU ARE NOW IN NIGERIA,HOW MANY OF YOU CAME?WHERE IS YOUR AIRCRAFT NOW?WHATS THE AIRCRAFT NUMBER?WHAT ARE YOUR FULL NAMES ALL?I NEED TO KNOW THE ANSWERS TO ALL THESE QUESTIONS BECAUSE I MUST LET YOU KNOW AM TOTALLY CONFUSED RIGHT NOW.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 29 Jul 2006 Posts: 18

Go to the local university and get him the profs he needs.

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 3:26 pm

Now that is a lot of signature material there.

Quote:

WE PASSED THROUGH HELL WHILE WE WERE COMING

Quote:

WE FINALLY EXAUSTED ALL OUR MONEY WHILE LOOKING FOR YOU GUYS

Magnificent!

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:43 pm

Quote:

INFACT, AM SPEECHLESS.

Not really. He did manage to blather on for 910 words in his rant to you.

Congratulations!!!

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU THE FACT.NIGERIA IS A NOTORIOUS COUNTRY AND I DONT WANT YOU TO FALL INTO THE WRONG HANDS.

Dont'cha just love it when the mugus write the script for ya?

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 5:59 pm

What are the odds of getting the lads to travel to N'DJamena, Chad? It is not too far away from where they are now.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 21 Jul 2006 Posts: 28

Great work guys. This has been very fun to follow. I love it when you get them so bad that you almost feel sorry for em! Very Happy

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 6:25 pm

I think he is on his way back. He is, hopefully, going to be meeting us in Accra by Wed or so.

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:50 pm

Keep em' wound up guys, looks like this guy will do anything for you. Shiver better order some more pith helmets! Laughing

Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 4:07 am

Dorked and Desperate wrote:

WE STAYED THERE FOR ALMOST EIGHT HOURS BEFORE WE FINALLY WENT TO SLEEP......THE IMMIGRATION OFFICER I CAME WITH THOUGHT I LIED TO HIM ..... AND SOMEPART OF THE ROADS WERE VERY BAD AND FULL OF GALOPS.......RAYMOND, I NEED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED RIGHT NOW .......MY MIND IS NOT AT REST RIGHT NOW.

I hope they did not have to sleep at the airport
I hope the planes did not keep them awake
I hope the immigration officer did not feel like a complete dork
I hope he will not wallop Kenny for lying to him
I hope they didn't break anything on the bus
I hope they don't breakdown in the middle of nowhere on th return trip
I hope he sorts out his confusion and comes up with a better plan for next time
I hope you put his mind at rest quickly
I hope his desperation does not make it possible for you to cause a nervous breakdown in a crowded public place
I hope you all realise how cynical I can be

Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2006 5:06 am

I asked for proof that he went to maiduguri airport, and he sent me a very interesting reply.

Quote:

hello transporter,

am happy you needed to know if we came to and yola or not. thats very good. its just because you don't really know me. am a very honest person and i dont say out what i cannot do or tell someone i will do what i know i cannot do. am not such a person. i have many proofs that we came to .

no 1, i stil have the ticket we bought which was the transport fare to yola with me. we came through the federal capital teritory, abuja because there was no straight vehicle from my city to yola. it was a long story.

when we got to yola airport we went straight to the arrival hall and they directed us to the immigration department in .their immigration department was at the right side of the arrival hall.its just a very small office contaning about six rooms.it was from there they directed us to the tower room of the where they have a computer that controls the weather of the atmosphere. we even entered the tower room and explained our problems to the officer in the tower room whose name was (black and tall). he is the one in charge of all the computer equpments in the tower office of the yola airport. he was such a very nice man and he was the one that allowed us to sleep in the arrival hall although he asked us to identify ourselves before he allowed us to sleep at the arrival hall. we were discussing with him in his ofice when raymond called me on phone at round 10:10 pm. i was happy that raymond called me at that very time that i was discussing you guys' issue with the said mr. okonkwo.he was also happy to hear that the people we are expecting called us.when i couldnt hear raymond's voice very well, i told him to send me email and explaine the details there so i asked mr. okonkwo who works in the tower room of the yola airport where i could check email so he described to me to go to zenith bank which was about ten minutes drive from yola airport. he told me there was a cyber cafe that is almost adjacent to the zenith bank. i went there immediately but they said i should come the next day because it was already getting to about 10:30pm nigerian time so they had colosed for the day. the next morning i went to the cyber cafe to check raymond's email message explaining things.i got to the cyber cafe at 8:00 am but the office didnt open until 8:30 am so i waited there at the cyber cafe til 8:30 am. i am someone that keeps records a lot. infact i stil have with me the receipt that was given to me at the cyber cafe. i bought a one hour browsing-time at the cyber cafe just to reply the emal raymond sent to me so i was given a receipt for the hour i bought at the cyber cafe.
onchecking the email that raymond sent to me, i could understand that you guys were in maduguri.i replied raymond immediately and told him to wait for us there till we arrive and again i left several voice messages for him on his phone.i could remember i sent him two emails immediately.i quickly called on the immigration officer and explained to him and we both went to the pack to ask for the easiest and fastest way to maduguri.

the road to maduguri from yola was a very bad and uninteresting road. it was full of gallops. infact, a sick person should not pass through such roads because he will develop head aches.the distance from yola to maduguri is about 5 hours to six hours by road because the road was very bad. we got to maduguri around 3pm. i am someone that is very observant and keeps records a lot. i can describe the whole maduguri airport to you and that was my first time of entering there but i was very observant.

when we got to maduguri airport there was only one aircraft in front of the arrival hall and i can stil remember the name of the aircraft. the name savanna was printed very boldly on the aircraft. if i had gone with camera i would have taken a lot of fotographs there to keep some records.

we entered the arrival office, at the arrival office there was a supermarket inside but there is a reception before the supermarket and we met one young boy reading at the reception while some officers were also discussing at one side of the reception. a honda car (1986 model grey color) was packed in front of the office. we met one black man in white native dress and he took us to his office right inside the arrival hall.the immigration officer i came with introduced himself as an immigration officer from oyo state and he showed his id card to the man. i could read from the man's face that he was afraid because he didnt know what we came for and at the same time;seing a high rank officer who is higer in rank than him he must be afraid. we explained that we were expecting some people from united states/london and they told us they had arrived here at the maduguri airport. the man aksed that what was their names and i told him raymond and alex's name first. he just pretended as if he didnt know of any such name so he said he would check the record and he brought one rough paper from his table and checked it and said there was nothing like such name in their records. we then waited for many hours there trying to find out if they have kidnapped you guys. i know its something they could do because i dont trust them.

at first i wanted to call the overll head of immigration in oyo state to help us take a step on the issue but i wanted to wait until i hear a solid information from you guys before taking any serious step and again, i wanted to be sure you guys really landed there before taking any step. we could easily arrest the officers there and make him/them loose his/their job but we needed to be sure you guys really landed there first.its just a matter of calling the head of immigration officer in oyo state to contact the head of immigration in maduguri to do their findings.thats very easy for us to do but we just decided to hold on because we didnt hear from you again as at then. i left up to 15 voice messages on raymond and sal's phone while we were in yola and maduguri.

transporter, i need to let you know some thing about myself. i dont tell lies and am a very straight forward person and at the same time religious so if you think we do not come there i have many things to prove myself. i am someone that really derives pleasure in keeping records.

i even have the receipt of the vehicle that brought us from maduguri down to ibadan where we are. pls dont doubt me, am a very sincere person.

am sorry for writing this much.its just becase i need to explaine many things to you about the whole issue so that you can have an idea of what we passed through while trying to locate you guys.

onething i want you to understand is that with me around them they dont have any problem in nigeria. i am 100% sure about that.
please let me know if you really understand all i have explained in this email. i will stil forward this email also to sal and raymond just for them to understand also.

i hope to hear from you

Stay tuned for the scanned receipts

Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2006 6:29 am

I don't suppose you would mind running that reply through Word and changing the formatting to sentence case? Reading that is enough to give me headache without taking into account the gallops in the roads.... Laughing

Good job! Sounds like he really dd go. I wonder if he is prepared to draw you plans of both airports?

Quote:

THEY HAVE A COMPUTER THAT CONTROLS THE WEATHER OF THE ATMOSPHERE

I want one of those! Please get him to send one. It would come in handy for getting the laundry dry and during BBQ season.

419Eater is my life Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 476

Holy!...... Man that last email he sent just about gave me a headache, someone should tell these morons not to TALK IN ALL CAPS. It always ticks me off when they respond like that... anyway...

Seems like alot of sig worthy material in this one! Which is always good stuff

Great work! he is suitably exhausted and confused, and out of pocket it would seem. I cant wait for the death threats to roll in, they will be (as always) colourful and full of OOOOOOOOO's

Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2006 11:57 am

What are the gallops to which he refers?

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 21 Aug 2006 Posts: 2

gallops, mesurement of the speed of a horse ?

or does he mean a shit load of holes in the road.

Btw hey guys im new on the forums. long time lurker. small time baiter.
i specalise in taking down fake paypal websites. i also accept western onion transfer Smile

Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2006 1:13 pm

All caps makes my head spin! I will just trust he is telling the truth and save myself pain of reading the entire email.

BW

Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2006 1:19 pm

there, I changed the caps lock format. you wusses Smile

Master Baiter Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Posts: 137

It just doesn't have the same dramatic effect in lowercase !!! Twisted Evil

update - 2000 mile safari and he is going to Ghana next	View next topic View previous topic