The Swedish patient

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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:45 pm

Final update. Pippa has been to WU and is having moose troubles again.

Quote:

From: polson
To: [email protected]
Date: Aug 4, 2006 8:39 PM
Subject: collect transferment now

Helloes!

I wented to waster union todays. You can going to collectate moneys from there now. I hope you happie now.

I had veri difficlit todays. Long journey to go. And when I commed back I finding out that moose been aggain eatting my house door doorknobbie! Dammit! Everi time I going to some where some bastardy moose come and ruinate my beautifulled doorknobbies. Luckily my neighbours kids were nearbyes when moose commed and they throwed small rocks at moose and shout loudly, so that moose soon go aways. Doorknobbie onlie slightly bitted, maybies when painted it look good aggain and not need to getting a new one. Veri frustratting when having to get new doorknobbies all time.

When will banky accounting be filled with moneys?

Pippa Olson

Quote:

From: online-bank <[email protected]>
To: Pippa Olson
Date: Aug 5, 2006 5:10 PM
Subject: SEND DOWN PAYMENT DETAILS

OLSON,

WE DID NOT SEE ANY THING, YOU HAVE TO SEND THE 10 DIGIT NUMBER TO US FOR US TO VERIFY IF ACTUALLY YOU SEND ANY FUND.

SEND DOWN THE PAYMENT DETAILS INCLUDING THE 10 DIGIT NUMBER NOW. IT IS RIGHT THERE ON YOUR PAYMENT SLIP.

HARRY MORGAN.

"if actually you send"? Bloody hell... what is it with these scammers? Evil or Very Mad

Meanwhile I've made a quick WU "receipt" which I'll send in a moment.

Quote:

From: polson
To: [email protected]
Date: Aug 5, 2006 9:07 PM
Subject: Re: SEND DOWN PAYMENT DETAILS

Hey! What do you meening "if actually you send any fund"? What do you thinking I did in waster union if not sending you moneys? That was very insulating thing to saying. After alls the troublies I been trough becauses of you, traveling long ways and getting doorknobbie bitted.

There no 10 nummers nummer on receipt papper. On bottom there is one veri big number, but it muchly more than ten nummers. Pleese explanate which nummers you meaning.

Pippa Olson

Quote:

From: online-bank <[email protected]>
To: Pippa Olson
Date: Aug 7, 2006 4:06 PM
Subject: PAYMENT DETAILS

Mrs Olson,

Just send to us the details of the payment you made.

Mr Morgan.

Quote:

From: polson
To: [email protected]
Date: Aug 7, 2006 4:32 PM
Subject: Re: PAYMENT DETAILS

Odd requestionings you have some times. Of coursies I used dettails you telled me to using. Whatt else would I use?

Receivare: Solomon Paul 21 butte street manchester england
Sendare: Pippa Olson
Amounts: 850 punds

Pippa Olson

Quote:

From: online-bank <[email protected]>
To: Pippa Olson
Date: Aug 8, 2006 2:58 PM
Subject: NOTE

Mrs Olson Pippa,

You sent the information quite alright, But without the MTCN number which is the as the reference number, we cannot collect the money, sent to us immediately the 10 digit numbers on the payment slip.

Mr Morgan

Quote:

From: polson
To: [email protected]
Date: Aug 8, 2006 8:10 PM
Subject: Re: NOTE

Helloes,

I already writted that there no ten nummer long nummer on papper. Onlie a veri big nummer. Is it parts of the long nummer? How do I knowing whatt part?

I scammed the receipt papper for you so that you can seeing all dettails your self. Now hurriupp with money transferment pleases!

Pippa Olson

A quick WU receipt with a pointer to both Scrooge's site and the disservice phone line.

Translation of the Swedish part goes something like this:

A tasty scammer-steak for four persons: Take xx kilos of well-insulted scammer and bake in xx degrees for xx hours and marinade in butt sweat. If scammer is very irritating, entice him to Scrooge McDuck's website to waste his time and mental health. Insult well with insinuations of his love towards certain animals. Serve with MTCN between spinchter muscle. Swedish chef says bork at WU's time wasting number xxx.

Of course the idiot won't lift a finger.

Quote:

From: polson
To: [email protected]
Date: Aug 10, 2006 2:54 PM
Subject: What takking you so longs?

Helloes,

Why is you not mailing me? Wheere my moneys are now? I finding it veri frustratting that when I sendate moneys to you for banky accounting then you not doing your work to helpping me to get the moneys but in steads being notreplying to me. This no playing matters! This veri importtant to me! Fates of my doorknobbies depending on getting Jurgenmans moneys!

Pippa Olson

Quote:

From: online-bank <[email protected]>
To: Pippa Olson
Date: Aug 10, 2006 6:35 PM
Subject: attn: mer olson

attn: mer olson,

we can't verify the amount if you dont send the mtcn numbers to us.

mr. morgan.

Quote:

From: polson
To: [email protected]
Date: Aug 10, 2006 8:08 PM
Subject: Re: attn: mer olson

I all ready sended to you my receipt papper. You can seeing there alls that I can seeing. I being veri surprised by your problemies afters you sayed thatt you so veri goody partner with this waster union thing and not acceptied when I sended with monye grimm.

So you deal with your waster union now and get the moneys. It alls up to you nows.

Pippa Olson

And after a few more days of inaction a final mail.

Quote:

From: polson
To: [email protected]
Date: Aug 14, 2006 9:17 AM
Subject: still am waiting

Wheere my moneys now, lazy man?

Pippa Olson

Quote:

From: online-bank <[email protected]>
To: Pippa Olson
Date: Aug 15, 2006 4:51 PM
Subject: RE: still am waiting

Mrs Olson,

You disappoint us .

I don't disappoint him nearly as much as he disappoints me! Blah. This hasn't been going anywhere ever since the zoy link incident and Jurgen's death ages ago. Even though the mere fact that this has been going for so long as it has makes me want to keep continuing this, enough is enough. I'm just wasting my time and not enough of his. Now I'll just switch to full-scale insult and abuse mode (all in-character of course) for some final good-byes.

So I consider this bait FINISHED.

- --- -~ THE END ~- --- -

Well, at least the early part was very fun for me. Cheers to anyone who's taken the time to read this all.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

A fun bait, and only a few innocent doorknobbies were sacrificed in the process. Nicely done.

Evil Genius Joined: 02 Jan 2005 Posts: 715

You shouldn't write something as funny as that receipt - I have caught a cold and can't stand the pain of laughing so much (I speak Swedish).

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 8:38 pm

Strewth! How many hours have I just spent reading that? Magnificent! Laughing