Crusade to a fetish village (Dec 13th trying 4 my safari)

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Master Baiter Joined: 13 Oct 2005 Posts: 103

Jee-zus!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

** ACCOUNT CLOSED ** Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 23

Brilliant! I'm going to make step #8 my desktop wallpaper.

Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 3:20 am

I,m gagging from the hysterical laughing! And, did you see the size of those marijuana plants? Haaa Haaaaaaaa Haaaa! Kudos! Well baited!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 2

Dunno..you sure this guys not for real? I sure hope not.
There's some wacky people out there, especially when it gets to religion.

Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 9:50 am

@Toe Jam:

That so aint weed due... not that I'd umm, know what it looks like...

Just got to say GREAT BAIT!!!

I still cant belive that they keep falling for these tricks!!

Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:36 am

@SP brilliant work. Just seen the pics at work. Nearly snorted water all over my keyboard stifling the laugh.

Master Baiter Joined: 13 Oct 2005 Posts: 103

Stage 8 certainly belongs in the trophy room!

Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 9:07 pm

Great pics - but I do believe there's at least one woman there wearing trousers. Dear me, that's just not acceptable!! Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I got a short email from the lad this morning:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER,

I HOPE YOU GOT THOSE PICS,I WAS EXPECTING TO HEAR FROM YOU YESTERDAY AS WELL AS TODAY.

BEST REGARDS

BRO DONALD

I replied telling him the ceremony was a failure, I wonder what he will say to that Laughing

:

Quote:

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Laddy is not very happy with the way I am treating him Laughing

:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER,

I AM NOT HAPPY AS TO THE WAY YOU ARE TREATING MY CASE.IN YOUR INSTRUCTIONS,YOU NEVER MADE MENTION OF NOT WEARING ANY DRESS OR SHIRTS.DO YOU EXPECT THE WOMEN TO EXPOSE THEIR BREASTS.I CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND YOU. THIS ISSUE IS BECOMING TOO DIFFICULT
FOR US,CAN'T YOU SEND SOMEBODY DOWN HERE TO HELP US DO THE CLEANSING PROPERLY?

BROTHER DONALD

Yeah, I will send someone all the way to Nigeria to show you how to do it Rolling Eyes

I replied:

Quote:

Dear Brother Donald Pxxxx,

Thank you for your email, it is very obvious to anyone doing the , that when they are required to rub honey in to their chests, they must do it without a shirt on, otherwise, how are you to be cleansed properly with clothing in the way, I didn't mention to you to remove the shirts, because I would have thought it was obvious to anyone to remove the shirts shirts prior to rubbing the honey on to the chest, in any case, you sent no photos of honey being rubbed on chests, either with or without a shirt, so the ceremony was not completed properly because of that on it's own, without all the other errors!

As for the women exposing their breasts, bare breasts are very common in Africa, there is nothing wrong in Gods eyes about seeing naked flesh, we are all born naked, it is very natural.

The ceremony is very simple, I have given you written details which are simple to follow, yet you still made many errors doing it, please follow the instructions carefully and complete the process again, this time, please remember to show photos of each person as detaild in my last email.

Do you honetly expect me to send someone thousands of miles to show you what to do? I have never heard anything so proposterous in my life, you have full written instructions, please read them carefully and get back to me when you have properly completed the ceremony again.

Blessings,

Father O'H

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

He has replied begging for money Rolling Eyes

, he's tired and broke Laughing

:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER,

I UNDERSTAND YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY INCOME,EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU COMES FROM THE CHURCH BUT PLEASE ACCEPT THIS REQUEST IN THE NAME OF CHRIST JESUS.

YOU WOULDN'T ASK YOUR CHURCH,NO! PLEASE JUST HELP US EVEN IF IT MEANS YOUR ASKING ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS OR RELATIVES TO DO YOU A LITTLE FAVOUR ON OUR BEHALF.I DO NOT WANT THE SPIRIT OF TO REMAIN IN LIMBO. (this idiot is getting a slap for spelling the spirit of wrong)

JUST DO SOMETHING.NO MATTER HOW LITTLE AND I PROMISE WE WILL CARRY OUT THE EXCERCISE CORRECTLY THIS TIME.

BEST WISHES FROM YOUR TIRED AND BROKE BROTHER (I love that sentence Laughing

)

DONALD

Probably wont get any more photos from this lad, so will try another angle soon.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I have replied to him, I hope he is superstitious and cherishes his genitals Laughing

:

Quote:

Dear Brother Donald Pxxxx,

Thank you for your email, as you are aware, I get no personal wages from my church, I have never borrowed any money from anyone in my entire life, also, I am not permitted to borrow money from anyone, that is a rule of my church that cannot be broken.

In any case, I really do fail to see why you need money to complete the ceremony again, you have many members in your congregation, and I am sure that if you have a collection, all of your members will contribute to the items you need to purchase for the ceremony, it is not a difficult thing to do with so manywilling members.

On another note, I am most angry with you, not only have you left the spirit of in limbo, but you have also spelt her name wrong, you wrote it as , how could you make such a terrible mistake, you must be incredibly stupid to make such a mistake, a small child would never have written it like that, you are supposed to be a man, yet you make the mistake of an illiterate child smaller than a small child which can write properly, are you deliberately trying to invoke bad spirits upon yourself, if you do not carry out the cleansing ceremony very soon, all manner of bad things will surely happen to you, I am sure you remember me telling you about the death and mayhem last time she was left in limbo, please rectify the situation urgently, I remember a man from South Africa who once spelt her name wrong and carried out the incorrectly, and because of those mistakes, his genitals vanished completely, I would hate the same thing to happen to you!!!

Blessings,

Father O'H

Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2006 6:38 pm

Lol, superb stuff, and another great example of lad audacity. Asking a poor religious man to borrow money from his friends and family, that will never be paid back.

Great bait, I thought there'd be no way u'd ever get pics. Some times I love being wrong Smile

.

Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 3:53 am

Wow, Perfect, I was just thinking you should find a way to throw in a larger "grant" to keep him biting, and you did in perfect time... Beautiful
Just Beautiful.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I have not heard from this lad since I sent my email to him on July 15th, where I mentioned about his genitals possibly going missing due to him getting the name of wrong, and that spirit now being in limbo, he has now replied promising to do the again Laughing

:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER,

I AM VERY SORRY TO HAVE SPELT WRONGLY,I HAVE ALSO PRAYED TO THE GOD OF ABRAHAM,ISAAC AND JACOB,TO CHRIST JESUS TO GUIDE AND PROTECT ME AND ALSO FORGIVE ME FOR WHICH EVER WAY I HAVE ERRED.

THIS I BELIEVE GOD FORGIVES ACCORDING TO THE SCRIPTURES.

FATHER O'H,PLEASE ALSO FORGIVE ME AND TELL THE BISHOP THAT WE ARE TOTALLY COMMITTED AND THAT I HAVE GOTTEN FULL ASSURANCE OF THE DEMOLISHED SHRINE LAND FOR THE BUILDING OF YOUR CHURCH HERE.

I PROMISE TO REPEAT THE .

BEST REGARDS

BROTHER DONALD

I have replied with:

Quote:

Dear Brother Donald,

Thank you for your email, it is very nice to hear from you again.

I have forgiven you for spelling incorrectly, but I do not think the spirit has forgiven you for your mistakes, I even had to have an African shamen based in the UK visit us and give advice after we experienced some problems of our own due to your mistakes, he threw bones and other objects on the ground and he said the omens were very bad for you whilst , the shamen has asked me to urge you to complete the as quickly as possible.

I am very happy to hear that the shrine land is ready for the building of the new church, the sooner you get the completed and release the spirit of , the better for all concerned it will be.

Blessings,

Father O'H

Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 10:34 am

Excellent work @SP. Thumbs up

I can't figure out which he is more scared of losing; the money or his genitals. Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

^^^^^ I think it's his genitals and the money Laughing

Not heard from his since his last email on July 24th, until I receive this from him today Very Happy

:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER,

PLEASE I AM SORRY FOR THE LONG PAUSE,THE FAMILY OF THE DECEASED LADY GOT ME BACK INTO POLICE CUSTODY AND AFTER MUCH PLEA-BARGAINING BY MY LAWYER WHO IS ALSO OUR CHURCH MEMBER,I WAS RELEASED ON THE GROUND THAT THEY WILL BE COMPENSATED OUT OF COURT SETTLEMENT.

I SHOWED THEM A COPY OF THE MAIL YOU SENT TO ME REGARDING YOUR BISHOP'S PROMISES TO THE DECEASED FAMILY.THAT HELPED ME ALOT.

BUT FATHER,PLEASE WE ARE READY FOR THE CLEANSING TO RELEASE .

PLEASE KINDLY OUT LINE ONCE AGAIN ALL THE TWELVE STAGES CAREFULLY AND ALL THE MATERIALS REQUIRED SO THAT WE WON'T MAKE ANY MISTAKES THIS TIME AND AS WELL AS HOW TO GO ABOUT IT.

MAY ALMIGHTY GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU....AMEN

BEST WISHES FROM

BROTHER DONALD

Ok, so we get to do it all again Laughing

, I have replied detailing the again:

Quote:

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Well he says he has completed the again, but that there about 150 photos, so can he send them to me by courier instead of uploading them in the library as it will be easier for him Rolling Eyes

, now I could have given him an address to send them to in the UK, but it's to much pissing about waiting for them to arrive, so I suggest he scans them like before:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER,

WE HAVE SUCCESSFULLY CARRIED OUT THE AS THERE WERE LOTS OF STRANGE SIGNS AFTER THE BURNING AND ALSO ONE OF THE BROTHERS WHO PARTICIPATED WAS HAVING A SERIOUS BACK ACHE FOR WEEKS NOW BUT IMMIDIATELY GOT RELIEVED. (I just knew 419eater made miracles happen Laughing

)

DEAR FATHER,PLEASE I WANT TO ASK YOU FOR A LITTLE FAVOUR. THE PICTURES ARE ABOUT ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY COPIES AND WILL BE CUMBERSOME TO SCAN THEM FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARY SINCE WE DO NOT HAVE ONE, SO FATHER I PLEAD THAT YOU GIVE ME A MAILING ADDRESS TO ENABLE ME SEND THEM THROUGH UPS OR FEDEX AND I FEEL IT WILL BE MORE ASSESSIBLE THAT WAY.

MAY GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU ALL....AMEN.

REGARDS

BROTHER DONALD

I have replied:

Quote:

Dear Brother Donald,

Thank you for your email, I am extremely happy that you have now finally completed the and things can return to normal.

I am not sure what you mean by the 150 photos being cumbersome to scan from the library, you sent me the last lot of photos and they arrived very quickly by email, due to there being more photos this time, it will just take you a little longer to scan and email them, that's all, please go ahead and scan them as you did before and email them to me.

I could give you the address for our church headquarters in the UK to send them to, that's not a problem at all, but it will cost "you" at least �70 to send them to me via courier (my church never pays for items sent by courier), and I know how bad African courier services are, it takes for ever for packages to arrive from Africa, someone in Ivory Coast recently sent us a church banner by express courier, it took nearly 9 weeks for it to arrive here in the UK, and that was by express courier, then when it arrived, it was only the empty packaging, it had somehow been torn open between Africa and the UK, the contents were either stolen or accidentally lost in transit, this has happened with numerous packages sent from Africa.

I would not like to wait for weeks and weeks, only to find your package arrives with none of the photos inside the package, that will just cause even more delays, and we will very soon be reaching the end of our financial year, so I need to receive the photos as soon as possible so we can get your grant application processed before the end of year financial accounts, otherwise you will have to wait until our new financial year starts in November before you can apply for your grant again, so please do your best to scan them at the same place you scanned the last photosand get them emailed to me as soon as possible!

Blessings,

Father O'H

Posted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 4:39 pm

@SP - It would be a real shame that as the church got the mail with the 150 photos, the PC crashed because the mail file was too big. In the event this does happen, would it not be easier for the church PC to receive each picture 1 e-mail at a time, so as not to crash? Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

^^^^^ CK, you are right Twisted Evil

I find they usually send them in small batches though when theysend loads of photos, they can only send so many at a time, but I will say there were a number of them I could not open and can he send them again, standard practice, then of course, some contained a virus and can't be opened, so they need to be sent again as well blah blah blah Laughing

Posted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 5:32 pm

Just superior work once again, SP! Congratulations. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 6:15 pm

I had a lad send me 100 photos by email one time, and it took him about 5 days to do it. the lazy bastard only sent 20 photos per day because it said that it takes so long to scan them and upload them as attachments. it might be worth having them mailed to you if you can get them to pay for it.

Posted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 6:52 pm

It would be a pity if they went missing in the post, and he either had to send them again, or try uploading them anyway. Laughing

Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 3:00 am

well whatever the case; I am really looking forward to seeing these photos.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I have just had 8 emails from the lad with 162 photos of the new attached Laughing

, I do like the banner they made for me, I really must get that sent to the UK if I can Very Happy

:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER,

THESE ARE THE PICTURES OF THE

REGARDS

BROTHER Dxxxxx

I went to upload them but photobucket.com is carrying out maintenance at the moment Evil or Very Mad

, will post them as soon as it's back up.

[edit]

Photobucket now up again, back soon with the photos Laughing

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