Watch a new 1800 mile safari as it unfolds!

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Posts: 8

Add another 'S' to 'headless' in the 2nd paragraph, to assist in making it more authentic looking.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 26 Feb 2005 Posts: 16

YeaWhatever wrote:

In a day or two, Troy McClure will be sending Ingrid this. I really want to keep Ingrid going on this.

Any way to make the column widths match with the article above your story?

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 22 Jan 2006 Posts: 19

@YW. just a few error corrections and opinions for more believability imho:

Yaspimple sounds kind of silly (or is that intended?).
2nd paragraph, line 8: ceremony instead of "cerimony".
same paragraph, line 9: headless instead of "headles".
Line 10-11: opened fire instead of "open fired".
line 12: personnel instead of "personel".
Line 14: two hours for a gun battle? Not very believable, especially with trained security around...

second column, line 1: long instead of "lond"
line 2: illnesses instead of "illness" (since it refers to a long record)
last line in the 2nd paragraph: take away the tabs between he, was, released. it doesn't look very newspaperish
final paragraph: if you claim its a US (not sure about UK) newspaper, then the sq. km should be miles.

But let those corrections not get in the way of me saying: WOW, what a safari!!! Shocked

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 9:33 am

^^^
add to those edits/suggestions:
"sparring" for "sparing" below the picture.
"realeased" for "released", same paragraph.
"montane" for "mountain'" at the end of the article.

Still a fantastic bait, and love the background details. Good to see our old buddy showing up once more!

Maybe we should set up a proofreading service for members Wink

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 9:52 am

Miss Behaving wrote:

Maybe we should set up a proofreading service for members

I was just thinking that.

@YW, inspired, truly inspired! If there is as they say, a fine line between genius and insanity, for goodness sake don't push Ingrid too hard! We don't want a genius mugu on the loose... Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 10:11 am

Center for Ugandan National Treasures

"you could never get him out of it" and "it was his job to spread the center"

MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!!!!!! Razz

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 10:24 am

Marvin, nice spot! I missed it the first time - oh ****, that all sounds rude... I'll shut up

@callum - well you know where to find us (and I actually enjoy proofreading. Lad e-mails send me beeezerk)!

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 11:40 am

Now, this it is morning (for me), and with the help of you guys, I can see that I forgot how to spell completely. It was after midnight while I was doing some of this stuff. I'll fix it all before I send it all to Ingrid.

Speaking of Ingrid. He has not answered Troy McClure's mail. I will keep trying but I suspect that he is scared shitless and probably won't. Oh well. If he does not, it was fun while it lasted. No baits lasts forever.

Odeke is not answering his phone. Last I heard from him, he was about an hour away from Ruhija. It was after midnight (for him) and he was walking there. God only knows why he doesn't answer. Maybe he got there before I called him back and he realized that he had been had? Of course, I will keep trying.

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 12:04 pm

Perhaps Odeke met with some misfortune. Or a policeman. Laughing

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 12:08 pm

Or a horny mountain gorilla after a bit of Center for Ugandan National Treasures .... Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 12:25 pm

Sorry to stay on the film strand, but it's sorta got hold of me...

419 EATER PRODUCTIONS

PRESENTS

A YEA WHATEVER FILM

THE GET RICH PROJECT

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

In the middle of 2006, two men ventured into the Ugandan Jungle in search of a hidden treasure.

They were never seen again.

Three months later, their camera was found...

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 1:21 pm

Did you run this through your safari calculator yet??!?!?! It is sure to provide staggering results.

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 1:52 pm

^^^^
No. I did not but I think that I will have to do them as separate safaris since the two lads sort of went their separate ways after a while. While walking scores big bonus points, the total is multiplied by the number of lads on the safari. I'll sort it out eventually.

For those of you who don't know what jojo is talking about, a number of baiters helped me devise a scoring system for safaris, sort of for fun. You can find the "Safari Calculator" at http://yeawhatever.catholiccall.org/safari/calculator.html

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 2:53 pm

^^^^^
don't forget the extra points for "Oga shitting his pants"

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 3:23 pm

taking yastreb's idea a step further. we could have our first 419eater production movie ready to hit the theatres by the fall. I know a guy who can send us some checks to fund the whole thing. Its 100% risky free.

click thumbnail to see larger image

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 3:26 pm

Hey, that's a cool poster. Do you mind if I add it to the "pictures" section of the website?

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 3:27 pm

I still would lilke to know where our buddies John and Bernard ended up. I guess for the movie we could either make up and ending or, better yet, leave the audience hanging just as we are. That, of course, would leave it wide open for the sequel!

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 3:32 pm

@Keyser

Just had a look at that poster, very good, but did you see the ads (click for bigger version:

OK, I admit it, I photochopped it, but it made me laugh

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 3:39 pm

@KS Not "Get Rich Project" it should be "Yea Rich Project" Laughing

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 3:43 pm

YW,

Is it possible that since he didn't have the proper paperwork, the park rangers/police may have picked him up as a "poacher" and he's in the clink. The other possibility is that his phone died and he has no way to plug it in. Obviously option 1 is better.

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 3:48 pm

^^^^
You need permits to travel into that area. There have been poachers in the past. It is all too possible that someone in authority saw him wandering around out there and picked him up. If that happened, I wonder if they found that passports that he said the he had. And if he in fact had both, I wonder if Bernard (the other lad) did not report his stolen. I simply don't know yet.

Meanwhile, Ingrid the little bitch, won't asnwer my phone calls or respond to any of my emails. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 3:52 pm

Maybe a poacher saw a gorrilla sized figure moving around in the dark and took a potshot at it! This mugu may have come as a suprise to him...

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:05 pm

YW- It seems to me that, in a few weeks, you should call John, Bernard and their boss on the cell phones - by that time, they won't be expecting to hear from you, will answer without knowing who it is and, besides screaming and cursing at you, might give you some indication of the ultimate outcome of John & Bernard's Excellent Adventure.

Bruin

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:26 pm

^^^^
Of course.

And in the meantime, Troy McClure is going to continue to pursue Ingrid's cooperation in finding the lost money.

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:47 pm

Since work was slow today, I decided to make an official poster of the safari for my mentor (YeaWhatever). Hope you all enjoy.

Watch a new 1800 mile safari as it unfolds!	View next topic View previous topic