Some new "poetry"

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Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 12:33 pm

I haven't had any badly babelfished poetry for a while now, so it was good to finally get something new in my inbox. Ladies and germs, I bring you a new poem from Masha

I do not have not enough your caress,
In life you are necessary for me only!
To live I want in a beautiful fairy tale,
That was a lot of beauty.
There there will be you beautiful Prince,
Also there will be the Cinderella I.
But I know to dream not harmful,
So dreams let will come true!

Ok, so some of you would have had this before, but what the hell, it's nice to have a little culture from time to time here.

Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 2:05 pm

Send her a poem about your dreams!

In my dream there lives a russian beauty,
Long of legs,
And ample in booty!
In nearby woods she will lurk,
And watch for my wife to leave for work.
Then, into my house she will walk
And jump into bed..not for talk!
She will rock my world, then clean the house!
Then will cook dinner, for me and my spouse!
With table set, and pots a'simmering,
On the kitchen floor she services me again and again!
With a quick kiss she slips out the door, leaving me naked and exhausted on the floor. In my place I happily nap, and think to myself 'what a lucky chap!'
Then, through the front door raises a clatter, the wife had returned and the dream is shattered!
'The dishes aren't done, and the place is a mess! I work all day and come home to THIS?'
'That's it!' Wife says, 'you're getting a job! I'm tired of being marriedto a worthless slob!'
'You watch telly and sleep all day on the sofa! The vacation is over, you smelly loafer!'
With hands on hips she surveys the mess,
'We'll just have to hire a girl to clean up, I guess!'
I thought ofmy dream and that bodacious derriere, and all I could mutter was 'yes,dear!'

Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 6:44 pm

Stepan Fetchit wrote:

Send her a poem about your dreams! ...

Nice

. Can I use this as a reply to what my Marina send me? She's a real poet:

When the nights are long and cold,
And the days are lonesome and blue,
And the tears begin to get old,
My thoughts always drift to you.

When my heart is quickly breaking,
And I'm forced to search my mind
For something to stop the aching,
You are the one I find.

When I'm feeling helpless and weak,
You give me the strength to move on.
When I'm broken and cannot speak,
You give me the words through song.

The happiness I know with you
Is like nothing I've felt before.
When once all was closed from view,
Now you have opened the door

And released my hidden emotions,
Released my heart and soul,
My deepest love and devotion,
Finally making me whole.

If we are forced to be apart,
Throughout everything you do,
Please know that you are in my heart,
And that I'm always thinking of you

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

I don't like symbolic poetry. Nor do I like poems that rhyme. But I am a romantic, so my offering by way of reply to dear Masha:

Your legs.
Spread them.
Spread, spread, spread...spread them.

From one edge of the bed to
the other.
Spread them.

*sniff* Sorry, got a bit teared up there for a sec.

Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 7:10 pm

If I had to pay my bills with my skills as a poet,
I'd have to scam on the side, too, don't you know it!

Maybe we could write dirty limericks to our russian ladies?

There once was a decent and sociable girl named Oksana.
Whose letters drove many a baiter insana!
When asked to undress, and show us her breasts,
She said 'I show you the bra under protest!,

Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 7:19 pm

My lady from Russia
I just want to touch ya
And love you the best that I can
You just want my money?
Don't tell me that honey
I'll be finding out next you're a man

Hey, not bad for 30 seconds worth of work Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Apr 2004 Posts: 43

There once was a lad from Siberia
Whose scamming was getting drearier and drearier.
'Til he emailed a baiter
With the help of a translator,
Now he's sending pics of his anterior!

Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 9:09 am

I knew we had some 'literary types' here!

Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 9:46 am

I'm a cunning linguist with the ladies Laughing

Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 10:01 am

To qoute Elena Petrova, 'I love it when the language of man is inside me!'

Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 3:53 pm

@JmRazor..PMSL....I teared up also... Laughing

Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 4:55 pm

Stepan Fetchit wrote:

To qoute Elena Petrova, 'I love it when the language of man is inside me!'

It finally dawned on me while I was driving what that was babelfished from Laughing

419Eater is my life Joined: 12 Dec 2003 Posts: 482

Here's some "free verse" that I saw posted on another forum:

Quote:

Why you have not helped me?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mum has died, and I now very bitterly pay, and have decided to write
this letter to you because of hatred which at me has appeared to you
after death of my mum. Yesterday at night my mum has died. At it the
attack of heart was, and she has not sustained it, it was necessary for
me only 537 $ to perform it operation, and you have not helped me and
have estimated its life in these stupid 537 $. Its death lays on your
conscience. After that I hate you, and I want, that you too have died!
You could not help me a difficult minute because did not trust me, and
my mum, my close person have died! How now to me to live?! I need to
bury her, I do not have anything that it to make. At me is not present
neither relatives, nor relatives who could help me, its death lays on
your conscience, I hate you, and I wish you the most bad!
That night when my mum has died, I was near to it, and saw, how she try,
and nobody could help it, I damn this world that it could not rescue
human life for 537 $, for any papers, for dust.
That night when my mum has died, I was in confusion and very for a long
time cried, then I have escaped on street, and went on city at long
night. 3 teenagers have stuck to me, him was about 16-17 years. They
have beaten me, have torn my clothes and have by turns raped me. One has
thrust to me the cock in a mouth, but I have bitten it, and it has very
loudly cried. Then they kicked me and kicked me on mine back. I laid
without consciousness in the street, then passed the order of police.
They have taken away to me in the branch, and have thought, that I the
prostitute. There they too have beaten me, and in 5 have
raped me. I wanted to die during that moment because in one day I have
lost everything, that it was very expensive me: mum and the honour. They
have released me in the morning, and I have gone home, I have cut to
myself veins because did not want to live, but then I have thought that
I need to bury mum, and I do not have money that it to make. I very much
ask you, because I do not want to die, thinking that I have
not buried mum. After that awful night I do not have sense in this life.
I ask you, send money to me, and I shall forgive to you death of my mum,
differently I all life shall damn you and when I shall die, I shall
think of it.
Nastya.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 30 Nov 2005 Posts: 19

@babe_in_muguland,

Now THAT's poetry Very Happy

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 97

The lovely Anastasiya

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 16 Apr 2006 Posts: 85

I rekon there should be a 419eater page dedicated to these poems... if its a personalised one (i.e contains your chars name) Maybe an elite peom trophy room?

@babe_in_muguland... Do you have an e-mail for her? i wanna see if her mum magically comes back to life if i start to mail her Smile

Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 5:11 pm

Quote:

i wanna see if her mum magically comes back to life if i start to mail her

I'm not sure I would.
The woman has lost her mom. Been raped by 3 teenagers, been kicked and beaten by the same 3 teenagers. Had a cock "in a mouth," been arrested by the police, been raped by 5 policemen, and cut her veins. All within a 24 hour period. Shocked

I doubt I could get involved with any woman carrying that much baggage into the relationship.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 97

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 16 Apr 2006 Posts: 85

I thought that was a good night out in russia...

Posted: Sat May 20, 2006 7:59 pm

In Soviet Russia, good night out has YOU!!