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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 2:03 am

Got a letter from W1ll1ams Jude. Followed the natural course of working Beatles' Songs into the mix.

He:

Quote:

>
>
> My name is Wxxxxx Jude, personal assistant to director international remittance department union bank of Nigeria plc. I am writing in respect of a foreign customer of my bank (Ms. x, of America) who perished in the plane crash of 31 October 1999 [with Egyptian airline 990] with other passengers aboard as you can confirm it yourself through this web site.
>
>http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/502503.stm
>http://www.cnn.com/us/9911/01/egyptair.03/
>
>since the demise of ms. x, I personally have watched with keen interest to see the next of kin but all has proved abortive as no one has come to claim her funds of USD30m,(thirty million united states dollars) has been with our bank here for a very long time on this note I decided to seek for whom his name shall be used as the next of kin, as no one has come up to put claim as the next of kin to this funds and the banking ethics here does not allow such money to stay more than six years, because after six years the money will be called back to the bank treasury as unclaimed bill.
>
>In view of this I got your contact through my country's foreign trade mission after I was convinced in my mind that your name/company could be used as the next of kin to this claim. The request of the foreigner as a next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Nigerian cannot stand as the next of kin to a foreigner.
>
>I agreed that 30% of this money will be for you as a foreign partner in respect of providing an account while 10% will take of any expenses that might be incurred in the process of succeeding the transfer and the rest will be for me.Thereafter I will visit your country for disbursement as I am almost due for retirement.
>
>Upon the receipt of your willingenss to assits, I will send you by fax or e-mail a draft application of claim which you will send to the bank as the next of kin and the next step to take.
>
>I will not fail to bring to your notice that this business is hitch free and that you should not entertain any fear as the whole required arrangement as been perfected for the transfer.
>
>Regards,
>
>Wxxx.

Me:

Quote:

Hey Jude,

I'm in! Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

He:

Quote:

> Thank you very much for your mail and your willingness to assist me in concluding this transaction. I must let you know that this transaction is 100% risk free. Before this money is transfer into you nominated account all rules, regulation and proceedures guiding International transfer of this nature will be adhered to and obeyed. All you have to do is to follow my instructions and advice religiously.
>
>As you are aware, the Money is currently with Union Bank Of Nigeria Plc. Lagos Nigeria. All I want from you is to present yourself as the true bonafide beneficiary to the funds, this will be possible with the account information and documents I will supply to you so that the funds can be transfer into your account. You are also required to either come to Nigeria for the Signing of the funds released document and witness the transfer of the funds into your account or the option to hire an Attorney that is registered with Nigerian Bar Association and who is on Retainership with the bank so that he can represent you to process the funds and act thereafter on your behalf.
>
>Please let me know the option that is preferable by you. You are also reguired to send me your personal details like Full Names, Contact Address, Telephone numbers, Occupation,Age, Marital Status and any other relevant information that will help us in the cause of this transaction, So that i will put them in all the relevant files of the deceased and for a local attorney to draft a postdated WILL AND LAST TESTAMENT of the deceased in your favour so that when you make claim officially your records will be found in the deceased file and you will also have the WILL to back your claim which will prove your ownership of the money with the bank.
>
>A draft Application will be sent to you if you are not coming, which you will in turn send to the Attorney that will represent you.
>
> I do not need to remind you of the confidentiality of this transaction which i advise you to keep so that we can enjoy our money when it is transfer into your nominated account.Be informed that even brothers could be jealous of one success of this kind of fortune
>
>I will stop here, to wait for your response.
>
>Best regards,

Me:

Quote:

Hey, Jude!

I will choose to have a lawyer represent me as I do not have a way to travel inexpensively to Nigeria.

My name is x. I reside at x. Phone is x. Married to 4.

Waitng for you to say hello/goodbye.

He:

Quote:

Dear Raymond,
>
>Thank you for your mail and your willingness to assist me transfer this money. I have placed your name and details in the deceased (x) file and record as the bonafide beneficiary. However, the local lawyer I contacted to help draft the deceased last WILL & TESTAMENT in your favour requested that I pay $ 4,000 US Dollars. I actually beg before he could accept that much. I personally decided that I will pay all the bills to facilitate the paper work. However, I must be honest with you, once the validation is done in your favour. I will not be able to associate with you openly, though behind the screen, I will for sure be able to render advice when needed. But on the contary, if you will not be able to come here in person, you have to pay for the services of an attorney that will represent you sign the transfer document. The charges are usually not what you can not afford. I do know it will not be more than a thousand dollars at most. Please do understand me, I am telling
> you all these so that you appreciate precisely the nature and manner of the transfer. And also send me your Occupation and Age.
>
>I may not need to remind you that we have to observe upmost confidentiality in this transaction. We got to keep it to our heart so that we do not arose jealosy which could hampered our joy and peace of mind after we succeed this transfer.Be reminded that friends even brothers could be jealose of one's success especially as this.
>
>Waiting to hear from you. So that I can send you the draft Application you need to send to the Attorney that will represent you.
>
>Regards,

Me:

Quote:

Hey, Jude!

I already have a lawyer recognized by the Nigerian Bar. I would prefer to have him work out the details. I will have him contact you for all the details.

Please do not think that I do not trust you, but I have worked with him before in several matters and he has an air of familiarity with me.

Please, let me know what you think about it. Please don't give me no reply at all!

Sincerely,

He (Same letter again):

Quote:

Thank you for your mail and your willingness to assist me transfer this money. I have placed your name and details in the deceased (x) file and record as the bonafide beneficiary. However, the local lawyer I contacted to help draft the deceased last WILL & TESTAMENT in your favour requested that I pay $ 4,000 US Dollars. I actually beg before he could accept that much. I personally decided that I will pay all the bills to facilitate the paper work. However, I must be honest with you, once the validation is done in your favour. I will not be able to associate with you openly, though behind the screen, I will for sure be able to render advice when needed. But on the contary, if you will not be able to come here in person, you have to pay for the services of an attorney that will represent you sign the transfer document. The charges are usually not what you can not afford. I do know it will not be more than a thousand dollars at most. Please do understand me, I am telling
> you all these so that you appreciate precisely the nature and manner of the transfer. And also send me your Occupation and Age.
>
>I may not need to remind you that we have to observe upmost confidentiality in this transaction. We got to keep it to our heart so that we do not arose jealosy which could hampered our joy and peace of mind after we succeed this transfer.Be reminded that friends even brothers could be jealose of one's success especially as this.
>
>Waiting to hear from you. So that I can send you the draft Application you need to send to the Attorney that will represent you.

Me:

Quote:

Hey Jude!

I will be brining my lawyer the, Ignatious (Egg) Mann, with me to retrieve my "inheritance". Where and when do The Egg Mann and I need to meet someone?

Koo-koo-ka-choo!

After no response, me again:

Quote:

Hey, Jude!

I need to know where and when Mr. Egg Mann and I need to meet you for this little transfer scheme you've got going. I am booking travel with Tom Kite Travel and I need the info. Please send the information being for the benefit of Mr. Kite.

Thanks!

As of now, still now response. Me today:

Quote:

Hey, Jude!

Where the hell did you go? I've got folks waiting to get from me to you there, and I can't do any planning until I know where and when to be! I don't need to be travelling across the universe aimlessly!

Get back to me soon!

That's it for now.

Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 2:14 am

Very nice...I've never been in to the Beatles, but that's an excellent modality....good luck! Very Happy

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 4:03 pm

Still no reply.

Me:

Quote:

Hey, Jude!

You are becomming a real nowhere man. I've got Mr. Mann and Mr. Kite at my disposal eight days a week waiting to get the details from you. What do I need to do to get you back into my life?

I've got a feeling you're not interested anymore! Maybe I'll just let it be.

Finally! He:

Quote:

Well I must say I do not understand you.
>
> But on the contary, if you will not be able to come here in
>person, you have to pay for the services of an attorney that will represent
>you sign the transfer document. The charges are usually not what you can
>not afford. I do know it will not be more than a thousand dollars at most.
>
> Let me know your mind now so that can sent one of them Attorney contact.
>
> Waiting to hear from you. So that I can send you the draft Application you
>need to send to the Attorney that will represent you.
>
>Regards,

Me:

Quote:

Hey, Jude!

What's not to understand? I will be coming with my lawyers, Mr. "Egg" Mann and Mr. Walter "Wall" Russ. I need to know when I need to be here, there, and everywhere. I also need to know how much money to bring! I also need to know what airport I need to go to so I don't end up back in the U.S.S.R.

Again, get back to me so I can start packing. I need to get my lucky old brown shoe fixed so i can wear it.

Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 11:51 am

This bait is going Nowhere Man, I suggest you ask for some Help.

He He He.

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 2:48 am

^^^^^^^^^^^^ I know. I think Jude the sad song and made it better.

Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 1:01 am

More from Jude. After no reply (sorry) from him in weeks I sent:

Quote:

Hey, Jude!
>
>Where are you?

He responded:

Quote:

I am in Nigeria.
>
> But on the contary, if you will not be able to come here in
>person, you have to pay for the services of an attorney that will represent
>you sign the transfer document. The charges are usually not what you can
>not afford. I do know it will not be more than a thousand dollars at most.
> Let me know your mind now so that can sent one of them Attorney
>contact.
> Waiting to hear from you. So that I can send you the draft Application
>you
>need to send to the Attorney that will represent you.
>Regards,

I am still waiting for the info to visit him. So I send:

Quote:

Hey, Jude!

I told you that my lawyers, Mr. Mann and Mr. Russ, and I were coming. I need a date for the benefit of Mr. Kite's travel agency to book a flight!

When do I need to be from me to you? My old brown shoe is ready and I'm eager to go. Also, I need to know exactly how much money to bring. Can you tell me. Money can buy alot of things, but it can't buy me love, that for sure!

Also, I have a pet racoon. Can I bring him? Are there any quarantines on animals there? The last time I left my Rocky alone, he got into alot of trouble. I don't want that to happen again!

Please, please me by answering my questions!

Thanks!

I feel a slap coming on if he doesn't give me the details.

Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 4:43 pm

Is Lucy, the secretary, flying with Messers Mann & Rush? She can e-mail them whilst in transit using her new Diamonds Laptop.

Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 4:28 pm

Stirring the pot a bit, I sent:

Quote:

Hey, Jude!

You sound as if you don't want to come together on this project. I keep asking where and when I need to be, and you won't give me the details. I mean, you never give me your money, you only give me your situation!

You are beginning to frustrate me. When I get frustrated, Jude, I tend to my garden. I like to grow several things. Strawberries are my favorite! But with the way you are treating me, it looks like I will be tending my strawberry fields forever!

Please give me the information of when I need to be there. This long and winding road you are putting us on is tiring!

I don't know if he is still there, but I am sure having fun!