The Perils of Pauline (11/11: Pimpin' Pauline like a $5 ho)

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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 5:38 pm

I want a trophy. Its been a while, and I want a trophy. Now!!!

Quote:

Date: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 01:20:45 -0800 (PST)
From: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>
Subject: hello dear
To: [email protected]

: Pauline Walliam,
Dakar Senegal, Refugee Camp,
West Africa.

Hello My Dear,
please write me , I am writting this letter with due respect and heartful of tears since we have not known or meet ourselves previously I am asking for your assistance after I have gone through a profile that speaks good of you. I want to find out if it's possible for you to deal with individual as to investment. My dear i will be so glad if you can allow me and lead me to the right channel towards your assistance to my situation now.I will make my proposal well known to you. I would like to use this opportunity to introduce myself to you. I am Miss Pauline William 22yer old girl from Liberia in west Africa,i am a daughter of late Dr Dion William My father Dr Dion was the personal advicer to the former head of state president Charles Taylor who is now in exile, before the rebels attacked our house one early morning killing my mother and my father It was only me that is alive now, and i managed to make my way to near by country where i am staying as a refugee now.
The main reason why I am contacting you now is to seek your assistance in the area of my future investment and also to help me to transfer the money that he deposited in finacial company over to your possession. the amount is (US10.3 Million dollars) he made this deposit some years back,the money was deposited as a family tresure which i am the nest of kin. Please i am asking you to stand on my behalf as my partner to claim the money out from the security company and transferd it into your possition . I have made up my mind to offer you 25%of the total money, while the remaining will go into a productive business for me, As I have mention earlier I will make the procedure to this transaction to be well know to you and i will give you the contact of the financier company so that you will contact them for more verification.please attach your direct and full contact address as you reply to me,as soon as you received this letter,i will be waiting to hear from you. yours pauline. please contact me with my email address or the alternative email above.
Regards.
Pauline Walliam,

Quote:

Date: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 06:52:01 -0800 (PST)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Re: hello dear
To: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>

Dearest Pauline:

I am always interested in helping out young women. Please let me know more details!

Love,
Larry Flynt

Quote:

Date: Wed, 2 Nov 2005 04:04:26 -0800 (PST)
From: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: hello dear
To:

HI LOVE;
Thank's for ur mail,by the looks of things i can understand that you are the one that will save me from my poor situation may the glory be to God for making it possible for me to ran into a christian man like you.God fearing man . i can assure you that the success of this transaction is guaranteed since it is legal and hitchfree, however i know that you find it difficult to trust but if you can give me that benefit of doubt i will prove myself to you beyond reasonable doubt you will now confirm by your self that this is reliable and actualizable.
All things being equel i am miss pauline walliam age 22 . A liberian, I finished tow year course Accounting in the higher school in my contry before war pushed me outside from my contry. I finally smogled my self into Dakar Senegal for the safety of my life. I later enrolled my self into a part time studies for my degree into the University here. Somewhere along the line i discontinued for the fact that i was financially handicarped and i have no suponsor. For past five months now united nation agents has refused to pay us our benefit as a refugee. Life is generally difficult here in senegal. I am a member of zion Chapel,it is small church but they assist me a lot.
Concerining my transaction with you, I went to the security company to see if I can sort my problem out with them good enough i met the operational manager of the company and he told me their services, he futher adviced me in my case that i should look for some body or my relative who will stand on my behalf to claim this fund out from the company due to because my refugee status has restricted me in being in possessin of such funds . i am now an offand, whom will i call ?
except God and you .should I go; and look for my uncle who were treating my life.presently they dont know my were about while they are their in liberia killing them self over my late fathers asset .
this is the reason why i want you to assit me .
for your imformation all the necesarry documents to claim this funds out are in my possession. i am forwarding the contact of trans securities for proper verifications.

Name:Mr.Jacobs Bobby
The operational manager
email:[email protected]
phone:00221 4876138

as soon as u indicate your interest i will send all the documents to you
THANKS
PAULINE
WAITING FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE RESPOND

Quote:

Date: Wed, 2 Nov 2005 10:47:19 -0800 (PST)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Dearest Pauline!
To: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>

Pauline!

I have read your letter with great interest! Do not despair Pauline, for I am Larry Flynt, the wealthy publisher of such famous periodicals as Barely Legal and Hustler. I have much experience in the publishing industry and am very good at business.

It can always be a headache when rebels dismember your parents. Are there cannibals in Sierra Leone? I heard once that there were a lot of Frenchmen, but that might have been an article about Upper Volta. I am glad that the church of Zion can help you, but I hope they don't have any of those priests who like to bugger young boys. That really upsets me.

I am a widower; my late wife Althea died in a horrible accident after I accidentally dropped a toaster in the tub while she was taking a bath. This was before we got GFI circuits in our house, so you can imagine the mess. I am still looking for the right woman to share my life with ever since, but I can never help but to feel that people only like me for my enormous wealth. Do you ever feel that way?

Much love,
Larry Flynt

She sent this letter to me four times. Somebody is a little excited in their greed, I think.

Quote:

Date: Fri, 4 Nov 2005 08:27:37 -0800 (PST)
From: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Dearest Pauline!
To:

my dearest larry
thanks for your mail it was fantastic my heart is filled up with joy when i read through ur mail and my mind is telling me that the messiah has come u sound very honest God fearing man
very sympathetic and loving .i thank u once more for ur caring .
before i proceed on i must not fail to send my condolence message to u it touched me a lot to hear about untimely deathof ur BELOVED wife .i am very sorry please u should bear the loss and put everything in the hand of the lord bearing in mind that the almighty knows the reason why it happened like that

Concerning my transactions wuth u may the glory be to God to meet somebody like u and i promise u to be transparent and again ready to surrender myself to u .to make sure u help me out of this problem. i wish to tell u anything u want to know about this our transactions and to make the procedurs of the transaction s well known to u.
I attached one of the documents to u and promise to send the rest too as soon as u indicate u interest am as well forwarding the contact of trans securities for more verifiction

THE OPERATION MANAGER TRANS
SECURITIES
MR BOBBY JACOB
[email protected]
00221 4876138
MY DEAR I WANT U TO ASSIST ME CLAIM THIS SEAL BOX MY LATE FATHER HAS DEPOSITED WITH THE TRANS SECURITIES SINCE 4 FEBRUARY 2001
PURPOSE
FOR SAFE KEEPING AND FOR FAMILY TREASURE WHICH AM THE NEXT OF KIN
THE MANAGER OF TRANS SECURITIES OF TRANS SECURITIES ADVICED ME TO LOOK SOME ONE OR MY RELATIVES WHO WILL STAND ON MY BEHALF AS A PARTNER AND CLAIM THIS FUNDS OUT .THE MANAGER
HAS STATED HIS REASONS THAT MY REFUGEE STATUS RESTRICTED ME IN BEING IN POSSOSSION OF SUCH FUNDS . HOW EVER BY THE LOOKS OF THINGS you can agree with me that i have no person between u and GOD.my uncels who are surpossed to assist me were against me ;they always find fault in me to an extent treating my dear life ...currently
they dont know my were about they were their in liberia and not sierraleone as u mensioned killing the selves over my fathers asset ..so my dear thank GOD u know the ability of african churches .zion church is a small church my pastor assists me in prayers and sleeping in the church and i never disclose this matter to any person becos it is a top secret .i am now waiting for ur immediate reply
thanks pauline

Quote:

Date: Sat, 5 Nov 2005 07:44:49 -0800 (PST)
From: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Dearest Pauline!
To:

yesterday my time on the cyber was up

Attached was this...

Quote:

Date: Mon, 7 Nov 2005 13:00:28 -0800 (PST)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: My sweet angel
To: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>

Pauline!

Thanks for writing and sending back your reply four times! That was really helpful and maybe next time you can write your responses in all capital letters! That would be super!

It is nice that you think of me as the messiah. I will try to live up to your standards. Yes it is tragic about Althea, but I have moved on since then and have gotten my life back together. Unfortunately, that scoundrel Jerry Falwell would love nothing more than to destroy my happiness. He is the leader of the Jehovah's Witness Liberation Army and has hated me ever since I refused to buy 42 subscriptions to Watchtower. For security purposes, I ask that you put the code phrase "*DELETED*- SPREAD IT WIDE WITH PRIDE" in all our correspondence from now on. If I don't see that phrase, I will assume that Jerry Falwell has intercepted our emails and you are no longer safe.

Who is Bobby Jacob? Is he a barrister? Shouldn't we have a lawyer for this transaction instead? Don't worry about it though, since I am very good in business!

Your sweet loving white daddy,
Larry Flynt

Check out that subject line! And she sent this one to me in about 24-pt font. I think low flying planes could read it off my monitor.

Quote:

Date: Tue, 8 Nov 2005 05:42:24 -0800 (PST)
From: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>
Subject: "*DELETED*- SPREAD IT WIDE WITH PRIDE"
To:

My sweet angel,

Thanks for your response,my dear, point of correction, Mr Bobby Jacobs is the operational manager trans security dakar senegal,

Like i told you before, i will be transparent and will ever live no stone on tone untill i see that this huge sum of money will be in your possession. i visited the trans securities this morning and by the looks of things, is most likely that you should start arranging for your visite to dakar senegal for the success conclusion of this business. however I can assure you that I will make the hotel reservation in anticipation of your arrival in Dakar and I will really appreciate meeting you as well as going into other project with you.

Coming to our business I have trying to make arrangement to perfect the claim of the consignment on you arrival.Since this fund is not deposited in the security company in your name as the beneficiary of the fund we need to get Court Affidavit of claim to effect change of beneficiary for you to claim the consignment from the security company.

There you should send your full contact information and a copy of your passport or valid ID and on reciept of the above information I will give to the attorney who will effect this change of beneficiary and make you the beneficiary of the fund.Please it is very important we do this before your arrival and let me have your telephone number so that the attorney can reach you when necessary.

And always remember to maintain the absolute secrecy and confidentailty required in this businesss no body should know about this project until we are through considering the nature of the transaction and deplorable condition here in Senegal.
I can wait to see you in Dakar.
I will be waiting for your response.

Regards
Pauline

Quote:

Date: Wed, 9 Nov 2005 09:26:05 -0800 (PST)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Re: "*DELETED*- SPREAD IT WIDE WITH PRIDE"
To: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>

Dearest Pauline!

Thank you so much for writing in large font! I hope that you will start writing in all capital letters really soon!

I have never been to Senegal! Is that near Chad? I have heard that Chad is lovely in the fall. My mother says there are a lot of black people in Africa. I am so glad to hear that you will be transparent for our transaction. I am also very glad that you take matters of security very seriously, as do I.

In a transaction such as this, I don't think you can really trust anyone besides me. That is why I must ask for a picture of yourself holding a sign that has our passphrase, "*DELETED*- SPREAD IT WIDE WITH PRIDE" By seeing such a picture, my mind will be put at ease with this transaction and that it goes off risky-free without a hitch! Please get me the picture soonest so that I know that evil people such as Jerry Falwell haven't gotten into your pants.

You asked for my identification in your last email. Fortunately, I have several but I don't know which would be best for our purposes. I have a driver's license, my NAMBLA membership card, an international passport good in all countries except North Korea and Uruguay, and a Capital One MasterVisa. What's in your wallet? Please tell me which to use, as I have never mounted a transaction like this before!

Also, Pauline, I want to know a little more about you. I want to know your dreams, ambitions and innermost desires. I hope you don't think I am being too forward, but I am a very lonely man after my wife Althea died in a horrible bathing-lady accident.

Much love,
Larry Flynt

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 5:40 pm

I was posting my bait when I got this in the ol' inbox. She is so obedient! Not only is this in 24-pt mega-font, but in all caps! In a couple of weeks, maybe I can get her to bark like a dog and say "Oh master, my master!" or some such.

Quote:

Date: Wed, 9 Nov 2005 07:43:42 -0800 (PST)
From: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>
Subject: "*DELETED*- SPREAD IT WIDE WITH PRIDE
To: [email protected]

THE MESSIAH
PEACE BE WITH YOU .HOW ARE YOU .BY THE GRACE OF GOD AM FINE
PLEASE ALL IS ALMOST SAID WITH THE TRANS SECURITIES YOUR CONTACTS IS SLOWING DOWN THE TRANSACTIONS PLEASE COMPLY AND CONFIRM MY MAILS IMMEDIATELY
L GOD BLESS YOU AND IT SHALL BE WELL WITH US
HOPE TO SEE YOU IN DAKARR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

Is she calling me the messiah?

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:57 pm

MESSIAH

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:26 pm

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy! Razz

Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 4:43 pm

^^^^That is SO true! Laughing

Time for the standard delaying tactics. Very Happy

Oh yeah, and I want a trophy, dammit!!!

Quote:

Date: Wed, 9 Nov 2005 09:26:05 -0800 (PST)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Re: "*DELETED*- SPREAD IT WIDE WITH PRIDE"
To: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>

Dearest Pauline!

Thank you so much for writing in large font! I hope that you will start writing in all capital letters really soon!

I have never been to Senegal! Is that near Chad? I have heard that Chad is lovely in the fall. My mother says there are a lot of black people in Africa. I am so glad to hear that you will be transparent for our transaction. I am also very glad that you take matters of security very seriously, as do I.

In a transaction such as this, I don't think you can really trust anyone besides me. That is why I must ask for a picture of yourself holding a sign that has our passphrase, "*DELETED*- SPREAD IT WIDE WITH PRIDE" By seeing such a picture, my mind will be put at ease with this transaction and that it goes off risky-free without a hitch! Please get me the picture soonest so that I know that evil people such as Jerry Falwell haven't gotten into your pants.

You asked for my identification in your last email. Fortunately, I have several but I don't know which would be best for our purposes. I have a driver's license, my NAMBLA membership card, an international passport good in all countries except North Korea and Uruguay, and a Capital One MasterVisa. What's in your wallet? Please tell me which to use, as I have never mounted a transaction like this before!

Also, Pauline, I want to know a little more about you. I want to know your dreams, ambitions and innermost desires. I hope you don't think I am being too forward, but I am a very lonely man after my wife Althea died in a horrible bathing-lady accident.

Much love,
Larry Flynt

Quote:

Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2005 04:56:35 -0800 (PST)
From: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: "*DELETED*- SPREAD IT WIDE WITH PRIDE"
To:

THE MESSIAH
THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL .I WILL REPEAT AGAIN A SHORT STORY ABOUT MY SELF .
MY PAULINE WALLIAMS AGE 22 .A LIBERIAN .MY FATHER WAS A TOP OFFICER IN THE LAST GOVERNMENT OF PRESIDENT CHARLES TAYLOR .WHILE MY MOTHER WAS THE CHIEF ACCOUNTANT OF MINSTRY OF MINES IN LIBERIA.THE LITTLE I KNOW ABOUT MY PARENTS .THE BRUTAL ASSECINATION OF MY PARENTS WAS A KIND OF POLITICS STRUGGLES FOR POSITION IN THE GOVERNMENT .ANYWAY THATS BY THE WAY
I ATTENDED THE HIGHER SCHOOL FOR TWO YEARS BEFORE MY PARENTS PASSED AWAY. WHEN THING START BEING TOUGHT TO ME OF WHICH MY RELATIVES START BEING AGAINST ME FOLLOWED BY LOTS OF TREATS I HAD TO SMUGGLE MY SELF INTO SENEGAL WITHOUT NO TRAVELLING DOCUMENTS AS A REFUGEE .I LATER ENROLLED MY SELF IN THE PART TIME LECTURES IN THE DAKARR UNIVERSITY BECAUSE I AM VERY CONCIOUS ABOUT MY STUDIES .I HAD AN AMBITION OF HAVING MY DEGREE AS AN ACCOUNT BUT AT THIS JUNCTION THE CENTER COULD NOT HOLD .I CAME OUT FROM THE DAKARR UNIVERSITY FOR THE FACT THAT I HAVE NO SPONSORS AND I WAS FANCIALLY HANDICAPED .I BECAME CONFUSED AND FUSTRATED AND THE WORST OF IT ALL THE UNITED NATIONS AGENTS HAS REFUSED TO PASS US OUR BENEFITS AS A REFUGEE FOR THE PAST 5MNTHS NOW .
ITS A PITY U HAVE NOT BEING TO AFRICA MOST PEOPLE ARE IN HELL HERE .THE WORST IS HERE DAKARR SENEGAL. THE COUNTRY IS VERY POOR .UNEMPLOYMENT IS THE ORDER OF THE DAY AMONG THE CITIZENS THEN U IMAGINE OURSELVES WHO CAME FROM OTHER COUNTRIES .BEFORE I GOT A RESTAURANT JOB IT WAS TOUGH AND BECAUSE OF THE DIFFICULTIES OF GETTING ANY KIND OF JOB .THE WOMAN THAT EMPLOYED ME IN HER RESTAURANT HAS RESORTED TO TAKE IT AS AN AVENUE TO ENRICH HER SELF BY USING ME TO SELL TO HER MALE CUSTOMERS .
THE GIST REMAINS THAT ON A PERTICULAR NIGHT AFTER HAVING BARGAINED WITH HER MALE CUSTOMER SHE TOLD ME TO GO AND PASS THE NIGHT WITH THE MAN .
MY DEAR LARRY THAT DAY TEARS ROLLED DOWN MY CHEEKS IT REMIANED ME THE DEATH OF MY PARENTS FOR SOME YEARS AND THE WORST OF IT ALL IT IS AGAINST MY CHRISTIAN BELIEF.
BECAUSE I HAVE MADE A VOW TO MY ALMIGHTY FATHER THAT MAN WILL SEE MY NAKENESS EXCEPT THE MAN THAT WOULD MARRY ME
AND I MAINTAIN IT UNTILL NOW . NO MATTER THE KIND OF HARDSHIP I FIND MYSELF.WHICH I KNOW IS JUST FOR A SHORT TIME
GOD HAS ALREADY ANNOINTED ME FROM BIRH .HE MADE ME BORN WITH A GOLDEN SPOON IN MY MOUTH ONLY THAT SATAN AND BAD PEOPLE SUBJECTED MY PARENTS TO UNTIMELY DEATH
MAY GLORY BE TO THE ALMIGHTY FATHER THAT GAVE MY FATHER THE WISDOM TO MAKE ME THE BENEFICIARY OF 10 .3 MILLION DOLLARS .
WELL SO TO SAY MY REFUSAL TO GO WITH THE MAN LEADS TO MY DETERMINATION OF MY APPOINMENT IN MY RESTAURANT JOB.
AM SORRY TO IMFORM U THAT AM SLEPING IN A CHURCH ZION CHAPEL UPTILL TODAY AND MY ONE SQUARE IS UNCERTAIN .I BELIEVE I WILL STOP HERE SO FAR .
COMPLY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND RETRIVE THIS MY FUNDS FROM THE TRANS SECURITIES WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT .
I AIMED TO SETTLE DOWN IN THE OVERSEAS AS A YOUNG LADY
I ATTACHED MY PHOTO .THE DEATH CERTIFICATE OF MY FATHER AND THE PAYMENT SLIP FROM THE TRANS SECURITIES
. I REPEAT FOR I HAVE STATE THIS THINGS FOR YOU BEFORE
CONTACTS REQUIRED
NO 1
A COPY OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT
NO 2
YOUR POSTAL ADDRESS
NO3
YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX
NO 4
YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBER

The following was attatched. Is it asking too much for her to follow directions? For godsake, I'm the freakin Messiah! (but you can call me "King of Jews"!)

I love using mugu catchphrases against them. eg, "This is not a child's play!"

Quote:

Date: Fri, 11 Nov 2005 08:15:54 -0800 (PST)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Security is not a child's play
To: "pauline walliam" <[email protected]>

Pauline, Sweetheart!

I read your compelling story about you adventures in Africa! It is like something out of a Lifetime: television for women story that my late wife Althea (who died in a gruesome bathing-lady accident) was such a fan of. Sorry to hear that you are getting pimped out. Hopefully your employer isn't getting too big of a cut of the profit, because anything goes when it comes to hos.

Pauline, I must be very frank with you. I cannot send the information you request until I get the previously agreed upon photo. This needs to be a photo with you holding a sign that has our passphrase on it. My biggest fear is that the rat-bastard Jerry Falwell will intercept my email and compromise our whole situation. Can you even imagine the hell that I would go through if he got a hold of my international passport, banking details, and NAMBLA membership card? The thought send a chill through my spine, and it should yours too. Jerry Falwell does unspeakable things to young women from foriegn countries. I have even heard that he makes him pose naked with midgets for the internet pornography site that he runs. Can you imagine the depravity?

Pauline, please send me the photo as a token of your serious about our security. Then, I can send you all the information that you need!

Sincerely,
Larry "The Messiah" Flynt

EDIT: Cute girl in the picture. Too bad she's either some downloaded chick off the internet or the mugu's girlfriend. Maybe I can convince her to come over from the dark side. Failing that, I'll settle for tits.

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