The Barrister vs. The Knight

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Master Baiter Joined: 16 Aug 2005 Posts: 132

Heh heh heh. Twisted Evil

So he's going to try to force my hand.

Quote:

Dear Sir Willie Wonka,

For how long can one continue to expanciate on one issue?The ball is in your court so to speak.

If you are interested in your Funds with our Bank,comply as earlier directed for I have no time in the world to waste.

I am giving you an ultimatum of 24 hours to comply or the money will be regarded as unclaimed Funds and subsequently returned to Government's treasury as bad debt.

Yours Sincerely,

Chukwu H.

What a chump. Slappity-slap-slap-slap. I really let him have it this time. Stupid lowlife.

Quote:

Dear sir (since I now have no idea what to call you),

You've changed your name, have you? Or are you just toying with me? I'm not entirely sure what's going on here, Mr. Harrison Chukwu/Chukwu Harrison. Make up your mind and stick with it, because I am tempted to think you are just a fraud. Now then, about your so-called "ultimatum", I say, pish-posh! You should learn by now that no poor bastard can get away with ordering me around. You, of all people, should know of these so-called "419 scams" that are floating around the Internet. I can't afford to be shelling out thousands of pounds of money to just any fool who comes along and claims to have millions of USD waiting for me. If you cannot answer my simple questions, then I will take my business elsewhere; I already have two other men waiting for me to get back to them concerning urgent business, one of them based here in the UK. So then, the ball is really in your court. If you can give me a real, logical reason why I should pay you these fees in advance, then the money is yours. Otherwise, farewell and have a nice try at scamming someone else, because I will be forced to believe you are a scammer if you do not.

Sir William Wonka

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 10:26 pm

ah... the good old 'pish-posh'.

I have found that will settle many any disagreement.

I have also found that to play dumb until they mention about 419. I usually tell them that I have recieved an email from someone else with a better deal. They usually tell me that I should ignore that scammer... then I all 'what's a scam' a '419? never heard of it'. They get desperate then.

NN

Master Baiter Joined: 16 Aug 2005 Posts: 132

What a dumbho. No response from either personality in two days. I sent this very pissy email to the barrister:

Quote:

Obi-wan,
So sorry to interrupt your vacation, but what the bloody hell is up with your bank? I asked them to answer a few simple questions, and he gets all snippity on me and hasn't written back in two days. I highly suggest that you talk him into being reasonable if you intend on getting the legal fees I intend to pay you at the conclusion of our business. For the love of God, man, it's not like I'm out to ruin him. I just want some information before I just give my money away. If he can answer the questions I asked him to my satisfaction, I would be more than happy to pay him. Tell him it would not do well for me to announce to the world that I was trying to be scammed by a high-ranking official in his bank. I won't say a word to anyone if he can simply explain what I asked him. Time is money, old boy, so get moving!

Will

Master Baiter Joined: 16 Aug 2005 Posts: 132

I hate to necro my own thread, but this bait suddenly became alive again after I sent this to the director:

Quote:

Mr. Chukwu,

After having taken two weeks off to conduct my regular business, I have decided to try to re-establish contact with you in the hope of concluding our unfinished business. I apologise for my rash words earlier concerning you; it just seemed to me impossible how any prudent businessman could not answer such obviously simple questions. But I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and begin our business anew, if you will have me. What say you, sir?

All the best,
Will

*shrug* Sometimes ya just gotta grovel to get your way. Dangling a really big carrot also helps. Twisted Evil

Director Chukwu got such a huge hard-on, he tripped over himself and sent this twice:

Quote:

DEAR SIR WONKA,

IF YOU ARE OK AND YOU WANT TO COLLECT YOUR FUND AS YOUR SUJECT PORTENDS,THEN GO AHEAD AND MAKE THE PAYMENT.

AS IT WERE,I HAVE WORKED AS A BANKER ALL MY LIFE AS AN ADULT AND IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THOSE INVOLVED IN SCAM AS IT WERE,THEN VISIT(www.thisdayonline.com) AND YOU WILL SEE THE PEOPLE INVOLVED IN SCAM JUST TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM PERFORMING MY CIVIC DUTY THAT GIVES ME MY DAILY BREAD.

I AM WAITING FOR THE MONEY JUST LIKE I GAVE YOU,ADHERE STRICTLY ON THE PAYMENT INFORMATION I EARLIER GAVE.WHY IS YOUR ATTORNEY WILLIAMS OBI DISTURBING MY LIFE.HE BEHAVES LIKE A MAD MAN ANY TIME HE COMES TO MY OFFICE.HE KEEPS PESTERING ME.I AM TIRED OF HIM SO PLEASE ADVICE HIM TO STOP DISTURBING ME.

YOUR MONEY WILL BE WIRED THE MOMENT YOU COMPLY FOR I WILL CONTINUE TO SERVE YOU AND EVEN BETTER.

TRULY YOURS,
HARRISON CHUKWU.

Director.

I love him, I truly do. My beloved barrister Obi-wan, however, is in for a bit of a slap for being "unprofessional":

Quote:

Mr. Obi-wan,
I hope your vacation was relaxing and enjoyable. I am writing to you because I have re-established communications with Director Chukwu after a brief falling-out. He recommended I advise you to "stop acting like a mad man" when you go into his office. Care to explain what this is all about? I only deal with professionals in my line of work, and if this man says you are behaving unprofessionally, I must take this seriously. Thank you for your time, and I will be completing this business with you and the good director soon.

All the best,
Will

Developments pending... And thank God that this mugu is still greedy enough to latch onto me after all this time.

Master Baiter Joined: 16 Aug 2005 Posts: 132

Dumb barrister never responded... Wonder what must be going on. Sent this to the director.

Quote:

Mr. Chukwu,

I hate to be a bother to you, but I have some questions that need answered before I can wire you the money. First of all, how much did we agree upon? I seem to have deleted most of our earlier correspondence, and I don't remember the proper amount. Secondly, how do you mean by "wired"? Do you mean a bank transfer? If so, what are the bank details so that I can have my bank wire you the money? Please reply without delay, so that I can finalise the transfer.

All the best,
Will

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 12:38 pm

ahh dopefish, necro? 'Pish-posh'... you are simply updating us.

I intend to be guilty of this soon also.

Keep it coming. Obi is just being really stubborn. Push, push, push...

NN

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