Old McMugu had a Farm

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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 7:21 am

My first attempt at an ASEM:

Quote:

FORT UNION COLLEGE TECHNICAL AGRICULTURAL RESEARCH DEPARTMENT

August 17, 2005
REQUISITION # ONO419I8U2
SUBJECT: WIRE TRANSFER
Mr. Ijus Sharted (employee # UB82419R)
Dear Mr. Sharted,
Let me be the first to welcome you to our team. Our department is very excited to have you as the administrator of our new West African Alternate Crop Research and Development Department. We are also excited to finally have our research put to real world use.
As you know our department has received a USAD grant for $250,000 for the research and development of alternate sustainable crops and livestock for West Africa.
We believe that with our in-depth research data, and your action oriented style, coupled with your intimate knowledge of the country, we will be able to develop a working model, which will stand as a showpiece for future agricultural diversity and growth throughout West Africa and beyond.
Your first task will be to obtain an office space with up to three staff members that can attend to daily paper work, and field research. As per our phone conversation, I will immediately wire you $15,000 to cover these initial expenses, but as you know, the USAD has strict guidelines on the distribution of funds, so we must be proactive in our logistical approach, bearing in mind the incremental changes that will manifest, all the while keeping the flexibility that will ensure futuristic success.
I will have my secretary mail you a synopsis of our goals, and your immediate action-items. In the meantime, complete and return the attaches forms, so that we may begin our journey.
Again welcome to F.U.C.T.A.R.D, and if you have any questions do not hesitate to contact my secretary xxxxxxx@xxxxx or me personally.
Sincerely yours,
Stan K Britches
Director, Treasury Operations

Cc: Omyleke Anoose- Assistant to Director, Treasury Operations
Gloria Vanderspool � Associate controller, Division of Accounting

I sent out 80 with 30 bounces and six replies, but this is my most ambitious lad so far.

Quote:

On Mon, 22 Aug 2005 12:49:00 +0300, "Susan Erickson"
<[email protected]> said:
> mr. stan k. britches,
> Thanks for taking your time to email me as per our initial
> project, i will also tell you that the content of your mail is
> impressive and promising. Well without wasting much of your
> time, I would like you to send the money to me to enable me
> commence work immediately. Please if this is okay by you then
> inform me to give you the information in which the money can get
> to me. Thanks for your co-operation.
> Susan

Quote:

Mr. Ijus Sharted,
I'm a bit confused. Who is Susan Ericson? I sent an email to you at
[email protected] and it got bounced back to me, but you replied
from this address, is there a problem with your email?
Also I did send you an attached form to fill out, to get the wire
transfer started, but I see you have not returned it. Please call me
immediatly, so that we may straighten this out. Remember time is of the
essence, if we don't allocate the funds within 15 day we will loose the
grant.
Sincerly,
Stan K Britches

Quote:

On Mon, 22 Aug 2005 17:00:08 +0300, "Susan Erickson"
<[email protected]> said:
>
> Dear Stan K Britches
> Thanks for mail so soon. Yes the name susan Erickson is my new
> mailbox so do not bother about that and presently i am in Ivory
> coast i would like you to call me through the below phone
> number. I will email you the form soon.Get back to me soon.
> Regards,
> Mr. Ijus Sharted,

Quote:

Mr. Sharted,
I'm glad you cleared that up about the mailbox, because I thought
something strange was going on. I would advise you to secure your own
mailbox ASAP, as using someone elses for secure transactions may be
dangerous. Also having someone elses name on your email, will cause
confusion between our different departments.
There was no phone number attached with your last mail. I will try you
at the number we have on file later today, as I have a meeting with the
finance commitee this morning and will be busy untill after 1pm.
Until later,
Stan K Britches (DTO)

Quote:

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 17:14:50 +0300, "Susan Erickson"
<[email protected]> said:
>
> Dear mr. stan k. britches,
> Thanks foyouclearification. I am already preparing the for fo r
> sending and you will recieve it correctly filled in no distance
> time. Thanks for your co operation.
> Mr. Ijus Sharted

Quote:

When you have the form completed, returne it to me, and then I will put you in touch with my seretary to finalize the transfer.
As per our phone conversation in June, you must first lease an office
space, to accomedate you, three staff members and at least one forign
liasion. I believe we determined that the office would be in Lagos. This
office should be close to hotels and accomidations for forign
researchers and staff. But it must also be within a four hour drive of
the research facility. As soon as you are settled in, we will contact
the Ministry of Agriculture in Ogun, and begin our search for the land
we will need.
You said that your contacts in the area may be able to help us locate 30
to 60 ajoining plots for under $20,000 per year. Have you had any luck
yet?
As I told you in our phone conversation, the USAD is very specific in
their guidlines in the allocation of grant monies, so please make sure
you follow all instructions on the forms, and have them submitted in a
timely manner.
Best Reguards,
Stan K Britches (DTO)

The lazy mugu basturd sent a typed copy, with a note:

Quote:

> >Form completed and sent.
NOTE: Please just as i mentioned earlier that at the moment, i
> > am on a mission to Ivory Coast( Cote d' Ivoire) so i will also
> > be able to recieve this funds here in Ivory Coast and as soon as
> > this is done i will commence work immediately and make sure that
> > i circulate within the west africa sub rigions.
> > Thanks for your understanding and co operation. Lastly, the
> > email box that i am unsing now is own privetly by me and no
> > other person has acess to it so do not worry about that it is
> > very save and secure. Please also be aware that here the Western
> > union money transfer is not allowed to recieve any amount more
> > than $10 000 00, so what you have to do is to share the money
> > into two and send it twice and as soon as this is done the
> > transfer information should be sent to me so that i can claim
> > the said amount. This money must be sent in my name.
> > Mr. Ijus Sharted

Quote:

> Mr. Sharted,
> When you applied for this position I thought it was made clear that all
> forms must be printed, hand written and returned in the same format it
> was sent. I cannot process this form through the accounting department
> in this format or without a signature.
> Please pay careful attention to the details, because the USAD will be
> monitoring our progress closely, and iot is crucial that all paperwork
> is correct and in order.
> Also your test question answer cannot be more than four words, so please correct that as well.
> Sincerly,
> Stan K Britches

Quote:

Dear Mr. stan k. britches,
Thanks for your for your co operation. I am mailing to notify you about my new email account hence you earlier mentioned that the email account has alots to do with this project. the new email account is
ijus [email protected]
I will also like to inform you that this form will get to you through this email address. As per leasing an office space, to accomedate me, three staff members and at least one forign and that the office would be in Lagos, futhermore, that As soon as i am settled in, you poeple will contact the Ministry of Agriculture in Ogun, and begin the search for the land, these things will be done accordingly as you stated.
Ones again, thanks for your understanding.
Regards,
Mr. Ijus Sharted.

Quote:

Date Wed, 24 Aug 2005
From "Ijus Sharted" <[email protected]>
To "mr. stan k. britches" <xxxxxxxxxx@xxxxxxx>
Subject I emailed you this morning.
Dear Mr. stan k. britches,
I'm mailing to know if you have seen the mail i sent to you this morning which also has the completed form attached. Waiting to read from you soon.
Regards,
Sharted.
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b74/mypicorama/mugu/9ae8e1db.jpg

So I pass him off to my seretary:

Quote:

Date Wed, 24 Aug 2005

To ijus [email protected]
Cc stankbritches@xxxxxxxx
Subject Wire Transfer

Mr. Sharted,
Welcome to *F.U.C.T.A.R.D* I will be assisting you with all of the
modalities to insure a smooth transfer of funds to your, West African
Alternate Crop Research and Development project.
There were a few mistakes on the Wire Transfer form that you submitted,
but I think I can fix them without having to re-do the form.
For future refrence please use the following tips;

* Try writting your answers on a seperate piece of paper first, to avoid
scribbling out mistakes on the actual form.

* If a form has a Requisition# or a Purchace Order# simply check your
records and note total number for the project. In your case this is your
first request, so you would write 001.
When you begin to place purchace orders for things such as vehicles, and
equipment, you will find it better to "buy in bulk" so to speak, in
order to keep the number of forms down to a minimum.

* We use our forms for a number of projects, so if a form has a spot
that is not applicable to your project just write N/A, but fill in all
spots the best you can, and do not write in any spots that are for
administrative use. Mmkay?

I was reviewing your resume, and though your credentials are impeccable, I noticed that we have no current USDA training criteria on file.
The USDA requires that all training for grant recipients, be current and on file. I know your last assignment was in Southeast Asia, so you may not be current to USDA standards. We will also need a current photograph of you for interoffice identification purposes.
I'm attaching the necessary forms, so please fill them out and get them
back to me ASAP.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to call the office between
10am-2pm or email me here.
Good Luck,
Ms.Myleke Anoose
Mr. Britches has authorized me to initiate the first transfer, so as
soon as he returns

Quote:

On Thu, 25 Aug 2005 "Ijus Sharted" said:
> Dear Ms.Myleke Anoose,
> Thanks for your mail and the forms that you attached there-in. The
> attached items are the completed forms, please download and go through
> them. I still want to let you know that some spaces in those forms are
> left unfilled due to lack of understanding and i think it is better wise
> to do it that way rather than making mistakes. Please i beg of you, if
> you come across any fault in any of those forms, please help me make some
> correction. As per my current photograph, with due respect, i promise to
> send it just give me few time to get it ready.I told Mr Stan K.Britches
> already that i am on a mission to Ivory Coast(Cote d' Ivoire), so if you
> are sending the said amount please i will be able to recieve it here in
> Ivory Coast without any stress and as soon as this is done, i will
> conclude what i have at hand and fly back to Nigeria and commence the
> project immediately. Please also be aware that here in Africa the Western
> Union Money Transfer is not allowed to recieve any amount more than
> $10 000 00, so what you should do is to divide the money into two and
> send it twice and as soon as this is done the transfer information
> should be sent to me via email so that i can claim the said amount.
> Thanks for your understanding and co operation.
> Regards,
> Sharted.

Quote:

Thu, 25 Aug 2005
From "Ijus Sharted"
To "mr. stan k. britches"
Subject Thanks for your understanding
Mr. stan k. britches,
Thanks for taking my message to Ms Omyleke so quick, she has responded to me and gave me her email address on yahoo and i have just sent her mail through that. Please i would like you to know that so long you are with me you will never regrect anything you will do with me. Please i will have to go throgh the forms carefully and comlete them and have them sent to you by monday, i know that may be so long but this is to avoid mistakes. Your secretary has explained things to me in detail and i must thank her for decending to low to enable me get the information across. Thank for your time taking and understanding. I email Lagos yesterday to comfirm the land issue and the answer was possetive. I indeed know that the issue of the land will come as secondary but i'm happy that i have gotten a suitable place waiting for me and this is about 40 and 60 ecars.

Secondly, i have secured the place that i am going to use as my office and will make the payment as soon as the money gets to me. With due respect Sir, Nigeria indeed is a center of commernce in west Africa and beyond, so you will be proud you have me with you and allthings been equal by His Grace Sky will be our limit. Take care and keep intouch.
Mr. Ijus Sharted.

Quote:

Date: Thu, 25 Aug 2005
From: "Ijus Sharted"
Subject:I will make you proud.
To: omyleke
Dear omyleke,
Thanks for taking your time to reach me in respect to my mail to Mr. Stan K Britches. I am sending you this mail to confirm your new email address and also to tell you that as much as i am concern, niether you nor Mr Stan K Britches will never regrect anything. i will do everything humanly possible to bring joy and happiness to you poeple i promise. The only problem i have with me now is that i lost a dear one recently through motor accident but it is over now. please i still want to thank you for taking your precious time to explain things to me in detail. now i will like to creave your indulgence to permit me to return the forms to you by monday(accurately filled) i have proparly gone through the forms and see that there are many things to explain in details and i need time to do please tell this to Mr Stan K Britches. As you can see Nigeria indeed is a big country in Africa as a whole and also a center of commerce in Africa, so with me by your side we will be able to achieve our goals. Just trust and count on me.Thanks for your understanding.
Mr Ijus Sharted.

My mailbox blew up when he first tried to send the forms so I missed a couple of messages, and exchanged a few frantic mails, it got a little confusing, so I'm skipping those.

Quote:

Dear Ijus,
I just read your message that you sent to my yahoo account, and I'm
encouraged by your words.
Remember that my yahoo account is my personal account and my mail
myleke@xxxxx is working fine now and is for work related topics,
so only use the yahoo in case the other is congested or if you
want to send me any personal messages.
Monday will be fine for sending the forms, but please don't hesitate to
ask for help if you run into any problems.
Sicerly,
myleke

Quote:

On Thu, 25 Aug 2005 11:04:49 -0700 (PDT), "Ijus Sharted" said:
Dear Omyleke,
Thanks so much for you quick responds, i'm indeed happy to hear that my message gave you some encouragement. I will send the forms back to you by monday by the grace of God Almighty. Well as per contacting you in the case of any problem, the only problem i am having now is that of finance hence you are aware that i am not in Nigeria at the moment but in Ivory Coast and the reason for this journey is to see things relating to this project hence Cote d' Ivoire is also in west Africa and has a fertile
land for agricultural products. (Almost the same weather with nigeria).
Please send my regards to your family and Mr, Stan K. Britches.
Regards,
Sharted.

Quote:

Dear Ijus,
If you have a proposal for a better location in the region, then please
bring it forward before we proceed.
I'm familiar with the ivory coast, but our central office must be in a
major city like Abidjan, so that we can have the modern conviniences,
but it must be centrally located to our rural research facility. I was
under the impression the all of the surrounding fertile lands in Cote d'
Ivoire were controlled by the coca farmers. There is also the problem
with so much civil unrest in that area, that it seems like a risky
proposal to locate in such an unstable area, but if you have a plan,
please let me know.
Sincerly,
myleke

Quote:

On Tue, 30 Aug 2005 "Ijus Sharted" said:
> Dear Ms. Omyleke Anoose,
> Thanks ones again for taking your time to email me in respect of our
> earlier arrangement. I am indeed very sorry for not reaching you as
> promised. I travelled to another part of the country and this has alot to
> do with my coming to Cote d' Ivoire, i arrived the capital city(Abidjan)
> this morning. As a matter of facts, i have finished filling the forms and
> i am ready to scan and send them to you today(30/08/05). Ones again i
> sincerely apologise for this delay.
> Futhermore, you said in your last mail that you know much about Ivory
> Coast especially the capital city, secondly, asking me if i have a
> better proposal in the region, Well i will not allow you to rush over
> things, so long as i am concern let it be my duty to make sure you do
> not make any mistakes and this is because there is no way you can
> compare Nigeria and Ivory Coast, Nigeria is indeed more populated than
> Ivory Coast and there is peace and democracy in Nigeria than Ivory
> Coast. For the past 5years, ivory coast has been going through political
> problems and i was told that because of these problems many foreign
> investors has relocated, though i am not trying to stop you from
> opening a branch of project like this in the region but if it must be,
> then i advise it has to be done one after the other to avoid risk.
> Madam, i am here for you so any information you need concerning Africa
> and this project, please do ask without hesitation and i will tell you
> the best that i know. I
> promise to make you and Mr. Stan K. Britches proud so you can count on
> me. Ones again thanks for your understanding and co operation. I will
> email you the forms later in the day so tell Mr. Stan K. Britches to be
> couragious that i will not bring shame and disapoitment to him. Take
> care.
> Regards,
> Ijus Sharted.

Read Ana L. Felcher v. Mary Benson here! · Master of Master Baiters Joined: 01 Apr 2004 Posts: 751

Nice work! Ijus Sharted and Stan K. Britches, what a team! Top-notch baiting, dan.

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 5:02 am

Great stuff Dan......enjoyed that.

Guest

Quality Baiting.... Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 2:21 am

Thanks all for the kind words.

Quote:

Wed, 31 Aug 2005

Mr. Sharted,
I'm now in my office and I see that some of the forms are coming through. I
will start processing them as soon as I receive the rest.
Sorry I couldn't get back to you yesterday, as our meeting ran late. It
was held at a local pub called Furburgers and everyone had a few
drinks, so I went home and slept afterwards.
The meeting went very well though Mr. Britches was a bit unreserved after
his third drink, and began to brag about our project, and having you as
the head of our new WAACRD department. As you can imagine, the other
directors and board members will be very jeleous of our anticipated
sucess, so it's even more crucial stay vigilant as we plan for sucess in this
endeavor.
Please remember that we have only one week left to organize
and implement the first phase of this project, so please update me on
your search for office space and the land lease.
Omyleke

Quote:

Date Wed, 31 Aug 2005

Dear Ms Omyleke,
Thanks for your mail today and glad to hear that there is progress in the board meeting that was held yesterday. I am sure the forms in sent are in your possesion ready for processing. Concerning the Office and the Land, like i said earlier,before i left for Ivory Coast, i have gotting a place to be used as an office and a Land which has a lake close to it. as soon as everything is in order, this lake will be cultivated to serve as means of water supply to the farm. So as soon as the money gets to me i will finish up my assignment here in Ivory Coast and move back to Nigeria immediately.I could have finished sending this before now but there is Network problem today.
Regards,
Ijus Sharted.

Quote:

Date Wed, 31 Aug 2005
From "Ijus Sharted"

Dear Ms. Omyleke,
This is the last attachment. I have been able to send the total number of 24 pages to you today and it is numbered Doc1 to Doc24. Please be get back to me as soon as you are through with the forms and highlight me on the next. Once again i will say thanks for your understanding, co peration and patient.
Regards,
Sharted.

Quote:

Date Wed, 31 Aug 2005

Dear Mr. Sharted,
I have received the forms you sent, and I will be reviewing them today
with Mr. Britches.
I have already seen several mistakes, but in order to expedite this
phase of the project I will try to fix them and continue forward,
instead of having you re-do them again.
I hope that you appreciate the fact that by altering the original forms I could loose my job, and possibly face charges by the USDA. So please keep this in your strictest confidence.
I have been trying to locate your picture on the web, but the only ones
I can find are of your Southeast Asian project. Unfortunatly, in all of
the photos I found, your face is blocked by your hat or blurry because
you are moving. I'm also unable to locate your alumni picture from the
University of Lagos. It's important that we have a photo of you so that
we can make your; F.U.C.T.A.R.D identification badge,that way when you
meet researchers and staff, you can clearly identify yourself. It would
also be nice to put a face to the person that is spearheading this
research. Mr. Britches has also asked if you have taken photos of the
site and office location, so that he may survey them.
I know you said you where in Cote D Ivoire right now, but when do you
plan on returning to nigeria? We can't wire the money to another country,
and surely you don't plan on traveling around Africa with 15k in your
briefcase.
Also I hope you understand that this is a five year project, that will consume all of your free time, so I hope the project you are involved with now will not take much more of you time, nor extend much further into the future. I also don't think duel projects would be very prudent, as it may conflict with F.U.C.T.A.R.D non disclosure policies.
We are very excited to see this research finally getting under way, and
we are confident that you will make it a sucess.
I'm going to take your file home with me tonight, and make sure that
every modality is covered, this way I think I can shave a couple of days
off of the review, and have the funds transfered as soon as Friday.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Omyleke

Quote:

Date Thu, 1 Sep 2005

Dear Ms.Omyleke,
I must start by thanking you for acepting to correct some of the mistakes on the items that i sent to you yesterday. I want to assure you that no one will know about it i will keep it in my strictest confidence.
Concerning my photo, I will send it to you as soon as possible but how i want it is that i would not like you to have a scanned one but what i will do is to take a recent one and send it to you through speed post and you will get it original rather than scan.And to enable the cost of sending through speed post be less i will include the photos of the Office and the Site and send them together to you. I am sure this will be okay by you. Please do tell this to Mr Stan K. Britches so that he will know how or means in which i will send my photo and others.

About my stay in Ivory Coast, i don't think it is a problem because i am just here to help a friend put his project assignment in order so i will be back to Nigeria as soon as you want me to and as regard to the transfer of the money, i will tell you not to worry yourself much hence in Africa the law of money transfer is completely different so you have no problem sending the money to me hear and the information on how to claim the money via email and as soon as it gets to me i will travel back to Nigeria by Air immediately for a start. Secondly, when sending please remember to share the money into two places and send twice because in Africa, the Western Union Money Transfer does not welcome amount more than 10 000 00 Dollars. I am aware that this project will last for 5 years and i promise you and Mr Stan K. Britches sucess.
Finally, having you beside me is a thing of joy and happiness to me. You are such a nice person, My prayer is that God will give you long life and prosperity. Just as you mentioned that you will shave off couple of days and have the funds transfer as soon as friday, i wait to hear from you soon.
Regards,
Sharted.

Quote:

Date Fri, 2 Sep 2005 5:43 AM
Dear Ms. Omyleke,
I emailed you yesterday hoping that you will get back to me as well but till this moment i have not heard from you, hope everything is alright with you. Please endeavour to reach me as soon as you get connected. Thanks.
Sharted.

Quote:

Fri, 2 Sep 2005 7:06 AM
To "Ijus Sharted"
Subject Re: Sharted wants to read from you soon.

Dear Ijus,
Everything is fine with your project, but we are having some problems
with another that required my attention. The approval should be ready
from accounting today, and I will try to do the Western Union this
afternoon. Either way I will write you later with my progress.
Myleke

Quote:

On Fri, 2 Sep 2005 08:05:02

> Dear Ms. Omyleke,
> Glad to see your mail today. I will be expecting your next mail later in
> the day as you said. Take care and send my regards to Mr Stan K.
> Britches.
> Thanks,
> Sharted.

Quote:

Sat, 3 Sep 2005 10:14 AM

Dear Ijus,
I went to the Western Union office last night, and I'm afraid there is
some more red tape involved in completing the transfer. It seems that
the U.S. government requires that all transfers to certian countries
be subject to a new Security Verification process, and yours is one of
them. This must have just been implimented within the last few months,
because I have never heard of this before, but they are requiring the
sender, and receiver to prove that they are not funding international
terrorism, before they will initiate any transfers.
I have already done the requires paperwork here, so all you have to do
is complete the attached form, and we can proceed.
One good thing is that once your verification is on file we don't have to do it again.
All of our foreign programs in the last year have been conducted through bank to bank transfers, so we were not up to speed with the new requirments.
I'm confident that a man of your means will not have any problems with this last small task, so please expedite completing thess form, because we are running out of time.
Also to ensure that we don't have any more delays,
make sure that the forms are legible and complete.
I have not mentioned this delay to Mr. Britches yet, as I would prefer
to have it done before he has time to lament over the situation.
I'm also aware of your concern about the size of the transfer, but don't
worry, I will break it up into two equal amounts of $7500 each.
Sincerly,
Omyleke

Quote:

Date Sat, 3 Sep 2005 2:31 PM

Dear Ms.Omyleke,
Thanks for mailing. I indeed recieved the forms you sent that has the logo of the Western Uniion Money Transfer and the America acts of conducts. I want to tell you that i have no problem completing those forms but the only thing is that they request my phone number and this must be landline number and must not be handline number, as a matter of facts, Africa is unlike the United States where every body uses landline, niether hear in Cote D' Ivoire nor in Nigeria i have no landline so what should we do about this hence they requested that no space should be left ubnfilled. Well i will complete the forms as directed but will you be able to convince them about that? Please if this will bring a kind of delay or disturbance to this, i think we take a another measure and this means sending the money through Bank and i will provide you with a number (account number) where you will send this money.Please to avoid any futher delay, email me immediately and tell me how things should be.Thanks for your
co-operation and understanding.
Regards,
Sharted.

Quote:

Sat, 3 Sep 2005 3:12 PM

Dear Ijus,
I didn't think to ask earlier if you had a bank account, as I had assumed
that when you chose WU, on the transer forms that you didn't have one in
Africa, as so many things are cash and carry there.
Well since everthing
is set for a WU transfer, I suppose you should just send the forms I
gave you this morning, and if there is a problem with the land line, I will see if I can put
the colleges number, or my own private line. This plan should be fine,
but why don't you include your bank modalities, just in case.
Omyleke

Quote:

Date Mon, 5 Sep 2005 6:45 AM

Dear Ms. Omyleke,
Thanks once again for your assistance, hope you had a nice weekend? The below attached is the Western Union Money Transfer Forms, please take a good look at them and see that everything therein is okay before taking them to the Money Transfer Office. There are some gaps that i left vacant so help to fix them on. Concerning the Bank Account, i did not mention that to you earlier because the one that i have is a local one and i am not too sure it will contain such amount but incase the Western Union Office refuses to transfer the money, then i will give you my childhold friend's Account number and this number works through West Africa sub regions. Please do not be afraid about this because this friend is a devoted christian and has the fear of God in him.

Name: Cletus Junior Peter (WTF! Laughing

)
Bank Name: BIAO
Account number: 3034370539
Branch Code: 230
Note: why i prefer the money to come through the Western Union is because the Bank will take days to get mactured while the western union will reach me the same day. Lastly, i hope to recieve from you as soon as possible. Thank once again for your understanding and assistance and send my regards to Mr Stan K. Britches, tell him that everything will be fine soon. Concerning the telephone number that i told you about the place is vacant so try to fill up or convince them hence you are also an American. Please before using this account number make sure you have tried the western union.
Regards,
Sharted.

And here's those loved classics,
The Westerm Union Security Validation forms! (minus the last page because I forgot to upload it)
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b74/mypicorama/WUDOC1.jpg
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b74/mypicorama/WUDOC2.jpg
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b74/mypicorama/WUDOC3.jpg

Quote:

Mon, 5 Sep 2005 1:06 PM
Dear Ms. Omyleke,
I am mailing to inquire from you if you have recieved the forms i sent to you this morning, and if yes is everything therein okay? I forgot to include the country with the account number that i sent to you. So i am resending it again but still try all your best to see that the funds reaches me through the WU. This account number should stand as second alternative. Please it will be so nice if this money could be transfered today. Below is the Account information;

Name: Cletus Junior Peter
Account Number: 3034370539
Bank Name: BIAO
Branch Code: 230
Abidjan, Cote D' Ivoire.

Regards,
Sharted.

Quote:

Date Mon, 5 Sep 2005 6:38 PM

Dear Ijus,
Today is a national holiday in the U.S. It's called Labor Day, and
nobody works, so I will review the forms and reach you tomorrow.
Myleke

Quote:

Date Tue, 6 Sep 2005 6:42 AM

Dear Ms.Omyleke,
Thanks for mailing. I will be waiting to hear from you later in the day as you said. I strongly believe that you will be able to finish everything about this transfer today to enable me know when i will liklely start putting things of this project in order.Please endeavour to email me back.
Regards,
Ijus.

Quote:

Tue, 6 Sep 2005 7:16 PM
Dear Ijus,
Today has been a very busy day, but I was finally able to get the
transfer done, and you should be able to pick it up in the morning. Let
me know how it goes(I'm attaching a copy of the confimation e-mail
from WU).
Hopefuly by this time next week we will be speaking from your new
office. I hope it doesn't take you long to get a land line set up. The
Nigerian Government has decided to sell NITEL and M-Tel, before the end
of this year, so with the government out of the way, the prospect of a well run phone infrastucture in the near future are good.

Just when things where going smoothly for ol' Sharted, the real Ijus Sharted, makes his move:

Quote:

Date Tue, 6 Sep 2005 11:47 PM
From "Ijus Sharted" <ijussharted@xxxxxxxxx>
To [email protected]
Subject WESTERN UNION
NA YOU O! YOU DO WELL. BUT U WAN TAKE STYLE THIEF MAI MONY!!! MONKEY DEY
WORK BABON DEY CHOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LISTEN WELL WELL
EGBE. IF U TALK EM WADDEN OYINBO AGAIN I GO WIPE YOU NOW NOW!!!!!!! U
MUS NO HE KNOW IS MINE OK. I SEE ALL HS EMAIL BECUZ I DEY EMAIL HUNTER

I guess my ad hoc pidgin really sucks, because he twigged. Sad

Quote:

Thu, 8 Sep 2005 4:11 AM
Subject where are you
Mr. Sharted,
Why haven't you checked in with me? Mr. Britches is expecting a progress
report from me this morning, and you haven't even wrote to confirm that
you got the wire transfer. This is a very bad position you have put me
in, because I have nothing to tell my superiors, and no other way to
contact you, so please write me back ASAP.
Omyleke Anoose

Quote:

Date Thu, 8 Sep 2005 11:51 PM

Well Ijus, I hope you are having a good laugh at my expense, because
since you dropped out of sight with the departments money I have to
answer to the board of Directors tomorrow and I will more than likely
loose my job.
It looks pretty bad for me, because I never got your
passport or picture, and now that I think of it, I never even spoke to
you on the phone. I know the board will try to implicate me in this, and
I can't beleive how stupid I was to fall for your charm. You probably do
this all the time!
Don't think your going to get away with this, because
tomorrow I'm going to call authorities as well as the University in
Lagos, and report you!
Even though I will be fired tomorrow, I'm celebrating with a bottle of
wine tonight, because I have one consolation in this mess, and thats knowing that you are nothing but a PETTY THIEF!
That's right, A LITTLE BOY!
To think if you were a little less greedy, you could have had five times that amount, and much more.
Bye Looser,
Omyleke Anoose

But no mugu can resist myleke Anoose for long, especially one that jus Sharted:

Quote:

Fri, 9 Sep 2005 06:18:33
Subject Re: Is this juke or what?
"Ijus Sharted" said:
> Hello whatever you call yourself, what type of jule is this? Well it will
> interest you to know that i am not a thief but you asked me to help you
> out and i agreed but finally wasted my time all only to discover that you
> are a junk. Beside you lied to yourself that you sent money if that is
> true why instead of Ivory Coast as earlier stated to you and it should be
> your business if you loose your job or not. Just keep your mount shot
> else i will report your profile to the webmaster.
> Ijus.

OMFG!!!! What have you people done to me! Now he's going to report me to the webmaster if I dont keep my mount shot... And it's all your fault! I should have never listened to you people, now what's myleke Anoose going to do without emai? Razz

Well he's still posing as Ijus Sharted, so maybe there's still a chance to get him back to the scanner one more time.

Quote:

Fri, 9 Sep 2005 10:48 AM
To "Ijus Sharted"
Subject Re: Is this juke or what?

I can't understand a damn word you are writting! What happen to your
english?
What do you mean I didn't send money? I sent you the comfimation, and I
also have the credit card statement online saying the money has been
sent. If anyone is joking here, it is you. Also I told you the transfer had to be directed to Nigeria, and you where the one who said you could pick it up anywhere in Africa.
If you're serious about
clearing this up, then I want to arange a conference call with you, me,
and Mr. Britches. Will you attend?
Omyleke Anoose