*Re-Upchucked* Sandra's dying brother

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Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:37 am

Quote:

Fri, 22 Jul 2005
From "sandra chukwu"
Subject pls help me
dear friend, how re u.hope all is cool with u.how is ur family,friends and well wishers.
dear,there is one favour i want to asks of u now,pls dont be offended i have some fanacial problem now to solve problem.my brother is having hear problem he need operation,doctor said that it will cost about$5000 but we have only $2000 if any way u can help me pls try.nothing is small for now.i say any thing if it $50,$100,$200 u can give to me pls do.i can take anything to save my brother.pls let it not be disturbance to u. pls help me.if u help me with any amount to save my brother.God will bless u.dont think that u dont know me well but pls help me with any thing u can. take good care of ur self.

Quote:

Sandra,
Things are very cool with me,thank you for asking.
It sounds like you really need some help, tell me what I can do?
I would like to know you, and your brother a bit better; please send me
a picture of yourself and tell me more about yourself.
Stan

Quote:

On Mon, 25 Jul 2005
> dear thanks for ur reply.may God bless u.i will send my pics to u.pls help me.

http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b74/mypicorama/sandra.jpg
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b74/mypicorama/PJ.jpg

Quote:

Sandra,
I hope you are well, I got your picture and I must say that you are one
hot tamale. I will get much viewing pleasure from it, thank you.
Now that I've seen you I can't seem to stop thinking about you, please
tell me more about yourself, like are you single or promised to anyone?
I would like to know other things about you as well; where are you from, what are looking for in a man?
Oh yea, how is your brother, I sure hope he is well.
Have you ever thought about coming to the U.S.A.? The doctors are way
better here, and they probably won't butcher your brother�s ear up either.
I have a home and a successful business, so I could make this happen. I
could even put your brother on the company payroll, and then the insurance
will pay for all of his medical need. In the meantime you and I can
get better acquainted, because what good is money, if you can't find
someone special to share it with.
I'm enclosing a very personal picture of myself, and I hope to hear from
you soon.
Stan

Quote:

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:

"mr. stan xxxxxxxx"
dear,thaks 4 ur mail it good to hear from u. im a nigerian,single and have no one in mind 4 now.u look nice and sound real.thanks 4 what u said about me. i love a honest guy and caring guy 4 my life and love to live in USA for my life.it is my dream. but it not all i need now. what i need now is to save my brother.i want him to do the operation.and will get one 4 my love life. i just finished my school looking 4 job. pls help me to save him if u can help.if u help me i will never forget u
or hurt u. take care.

Quote:

On Wed, 27 Jul 2005
> "mr. stan xxxxxxx
> dear how re u.hope all is fine.how re u going to help me and how re ur
> love life."

Quote:

Hi Sandra,
I got both of your messages today and now that I hear from you, I'm
great. As for my love life - not so good, don't get me wrong, I get some
dates, but they are mostly gold diggers, and hoochies. My other options
are at church, but most of them are pretty hard to look at.
I've been to clubs, but the bimbo's there aren�t much more than cock-sockets and prick teasers.
You see, I have a vette, and my business does pretty well, so I have no problem picking
up some choad chuggler, but they're all about the dollars. They never
want to stay home and serve me or just sit around and watch old Ron Jeromy movies.
I guess I'm looking for a good wholesome woman who will do what I say, and who likes to romp when I do.
I've never met anyone from Nigeria; aside from all the war and famine,
it sounds like a nice place.
I feel bad talking about myself while your brother is
suffering; what exactly is wrong with him, and what procedure does he
need? Also what can I do to help?
Best Wishes,
Stan

Quote:

On Thu, 28 Jul 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> "mr. stan xxxxxxxx
> dear how are u. hope all is cool.dear i got ur mail.it sound great.it
> bad that those girl u talked about re gold diggers, but i promise that
> i will never follow their way.how to help my brother, pls if u can send
> me any amount 4 the operation do.time is no longer on my side. have a nice day

Quote:

Sandy Baby,
I wish I was "cool" it's damn hot outside! It must get pretty warm by you too.
I hear your cries for help, but you didn't answer any of my questions about his condition, because to be honest $5000 doesn't sound like that much money for an operation� Who's doing it a witchdoctor?
Here in the states you can't even get a pimple removed off your ass for $5000.
So why don't we focus on getting your brother over here, to see a real doctor, I can start making arrangements as soon as you reply.
Yours,
Stan

Quote:

On Thu, 28 Jul 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> "mr. stan
> dear pls i will like to come to USA BUT I DONT HAVE THE MONEY NOW TO DO
> IT.IF U CAN SEND MONEY TO IF IT A LITTLE AMOUNT TO MAKE MY MONEY
> COMPLETE.
> I LOVE UR WAY IT SHOW THAT U WANT ME 4 UR LIFE.I BE URS IF MY BROTHER IS
> WELL.I PROMISE.
> I LOVE U

Quote:

Sandra Baby,
You must calm down a bit, and STOP YELLING SO MUCH!!
I know you need help (and I want to do what I can), but I can't just hand out money to anyone that asks, at least not without some facts or sweet lovin.
I think you misunderstood my last mail, because I wasn't suggesting that you pay to come to the U.S. Instead I was actually thinking of paying for the passage myself. I had hoped that we could get to know each other a bit before I had to start paying for your company, and why do you ignore all of my questions? You want me to send money for your brother, but you won't even say what's wrong with him.
I know you're in a rush my pet, but be a little patient so that we can move forward in trust.
Yours,
Stan

Quote:

On Sun, 31 Jul 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> "mr. stan xxxxxxxx"
> dear i didnt say,i dont love u.but my brother is frist in my heart now.if
> u reall said that u love me do something for my brother.with love.

Quote:

Dear Sandra,
I hope you are cool today, I'm feeling great now that you have told me how you feel.
I'm sorry if I poured my heart out in my last letter, but this is all a bit new and confusing to me.
I have only met you by mail, and I have only seen one picture of you, but I feel that we have known each other for years.
Please my succulent peach, can you call me, or give me a number? I want to hear your voice more than anything.
I spoke to a friend of mine, who is on the board of directors at Forest Lawn Medical Center. His hospital has a jet equipped with 7 surgical suites that fly worldwide, to perform lifesaving surgeries throughout the third world.
He said to find out exactly what is wrong with your brother, and he will push your name to the top of the list... Isn�t that great!
Just let me know ASAP, and we can have your brother treated by next week!
I read back at your other letters and you seem very desperate, (even besides your brothers problems), are you having other problems as well?
If it's cash you need to buy food, or some decent clothes, then let me know how much, and where to send it. In the meantime why don't you be a doll and send me another picture to show that you are serious about you and me.
Dreaming of you,
Stan

Credit to @isendmoneyrightnow, for the Forest Lawn Medical Center bit, she didn't bite, but a great modality nonetheless.

Quote:

On Tue, 2 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> "mr. stan xxxxxxxx"
> dearest thanks for your mail.it gives me joy to hear from you but due to
> some problem facing me it look that i am not interested,dear i love u
> only for the frist time u replied my mail.thanks for all your concerns
> and sorry for my ways of responding towards your mail ,as i said b4 it
> cos of my brother problem.dear the doctor said that he will not release
> him to us unless we paid the hospital bill,bcos i told he that a friend
> of mine want to take him to USA for treatment he refused and said that we
> will pay $1500 for the treatment he had done on him.so this was the
> problem that prevented me from asking u to do the arrangement 4 his
> coming to USA now.he said after the payment he will release him ,so if
> you will not mind sending any amount to the doctor do through western
> union money transfer,with name paul ana and address NIGERIA,WEST AFRICA
> AND WITH MTCN NUMBER AND TEST QUESTION..his mail box is
> [email protected] .and write to him and tell him THAT U WANT TO
> PAY 4 SANDRA
> BROTHER AND u want to take HIM TO USA. write to me me if u have send
> the money. take care.i love u.

Quote:

Sandra,
I'm having a hard time understanding your email. Is English a second language to you?
I'm not sure what you mean when you wrote that you are not interested. Does that mean you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with me, or does it mean you are not interested in the help I offered?
Maybe you misunderstood me about the FLMC mercy flights; the plane and surgeons come to you, and your brother can be treated in the hospital that he is in. This is an incredible opportunity Sandra so you would be crazy to pass it up. Your brother can receive treatment from the best doctors in the world, all for free!
Also you tell that shit stain of a doctor to call me, and I will work out a payment arrangement for his voodoodoo services.
I asked you before if you needed money for food or some decent clothes, but you never answered me, If you do, I wish you would just ask, but first I need to know how you feel about me, because like I said, your last email has me very confused.
Yours truly,
Stan

Quote:

On Wed, 3 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> "mr. stan xxxxxxxxx
> dear i said that i love you every much. i will olve to be with u all my
> life.im from Nigeria.please do all u want to do to me.if you want to send
> amount of money send i will use it for my necessary things.i love u.

Quote:

Dear Sandra,
I got your last email, and it makes me throb to know that you feel this way. Did you really mean it when you said; "do all you want to me" I was just wondering because, there are some things that I really want to do to you. For starters, do you like pearls? Because I would love to lay a pearl necklace around your neck.
I still haven't got a call from Dr. Shit-heel, tell him to call me or get his number for me, I told you that you can't let these shysters take advantage of you.
We must talk more later about the mercy flight I offered you, I had wished this would make you happy, but I guess not.
I will send you some money by wire transfer as soon as you get back to me, because you didn't tell me how much to send. Don't make me guess how much money you need to survive because I have no idea of the exchange rate. I would like to send you enough to live for a least a month or two, but out of that money I want you to buy some Daisy Duke shorts, a skimpy top, and some high heels, then get dolled up and take some personal pictures for me. Then I can lust over your sweet ass ebony body, I gotta squeegee off my computer screen, just thinking about you bootylicious ghetto booty in a g-string. So get back to me as soon as you get this, ok sugar-bugger.
Love
Stan
P.S. Stop calling me Mr. Stan and just call me stan, or Papi.

Quote:

On Thu, 4 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> "dearest papi,
> how are you today,hope every thing is fine.honey cream i got your mail,i
> am happy to hear what you said,i cant wait to see you lay a pearl neclace
> around my neck; papi i love you very much.i love all concerning you.you
> are one in millon,the dream of every woman.that is a lot for all your
> carings to me,i promise to pay you back with good.papi i will do all you
> said concerning me taking pictures when i get the money. i know how you
> will feel about the amount i need but all need for my upkeeping now to
> next month will be from range of $600 to $1000 but if you can cannot send
> such amount send any amout you have.be a good man for me bcos im here
> dreaming about you.i love u endlessly.please send your number to so that
> i will give it to doctor to call u.
> have a moment. i loveeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuu

Quote:

My sweet peach,
I just read your mail, and it makes my pants grow more confident every day, that you are the one for me.
Now that you have stopped being so shy, I can really tell what you are thinking, and how you feel about me, and now I want you more than ever.
Just the thought of you calling me Papi while we make love, makes me go *BOINGGGGG*
I'm going to wire the money tomorrow morning, but I'm a little concerned that you ask for so little, I mean what the hell do you pay for stuff over there with, cow pies and shiny rocks? Here in New York, you can't park your Benz for 600 bucks.
I know your trying to be coy, so I don't think your some skanky ass gold digger, but don't worry my pet, we have grown past that, and I trust that you�re not going to run off with the money like those Russian bitches, that's why I want to send you more, so you see that I love and trust you to.
I also want you to hurry up and send the pictures I asked for, so spend the extra money on some sexy ass shorts, so papi can see that smokin caboose of yours.
I hope you like to make love many times a day, because when I get you over here, I got a bottle of Viagra that says, we won't be leaving the house for weeks! Grrrrrrrr.
Love,
Stan

Quote:

Thu, 4 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:

dear papi,
all i need from you is love and honest.i love all you said.i will make love with you as long as you want me.i love you.please take good care of your self for me.please the money through western union money transfer with
NAME SANDRA CHUKWU
LOCATION'. NIGERIA
WEST AFRICA.AND WITH A TEST QUESTION AND ANSWER.
HAVE A LOVELY NIGTH:

*VOMIT WARNING: This post contains sorry ass mugu attempt to win favor with crappy poem.

Quote:

On Thu, 4 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> dearest papi honey
> Somehow I always feel better,
> When I write you another love letter,
> I let out my cries,
> Never saying our goodbyes,
> Then slip it in the pocket of your sweater.
> I tell you my fears,
> That bring me salted tears,
> I wipe the pressure away,
> In this short essay,
> As bliss forms and reappears.
> As the pencil rapidly flows,
> I try to explain and compose,
> The way I feel,
> Is too good to be real,
> Better than a red red rose.
> Telling you my dreams,
> Letting out all my screams,
> Showing you I care,
> And this relationship can go somewhere,
> Is filling the sky with god�s gleams.
> You do something to me,
> You let me fly and set me free,
> Your simple touch,
> Is way too much,
> For even god to see.
> I keep on writing like before,
> But this time it�s so much more,
> About your eyes that makes me melt,
> It�s something that I�ve never felt,
> It�s your soul I deeply implore.
> I will stand by you,
> Until the earth�s core turns a pale blue,
> I�ll indicate the love I share,
> Make it unable for anyone to compare,
> And keep the hope I have, true.
> Times that hurt and make you mad,
> I�ll cheer you up to make you glad,
> I�ll offer you my support,
> I�ll even give you the news report,
> And remind you of the times we�ve had.
> Believe in me for I�m the one,
> That shows you how to have some fun,
> My quest to write this simple letter,
> Can make things for us so much better,
> Now our life together has just begun

Quote:

Sandra,
It's very late right now, but I have a rising feeling in my stomach, and can't sleep after reading your mails.
I will send the westen onion in the morning. I have an important meeting first thing so I will sending the $2500 around 10am.
don't forget the Daisy Duke pics.
You are in my warmest and stickiest dreams,
Papi

Quote:

Fri, 5 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
papi,
i will do all you told me.i will clothes for the pics
when i get money.i love and need you so much for my
life.when you send the money write to me.

Quote:

Hi Sandra,
I tried to wire you the $2500 about an hour ago, but they said some new Homeland Security laws requires the attached forms to be filled out before money can be sent to Nigeria. I never heard of this before, but she said it took effect after 911 to prevent terrorism.
Get them back to me as soon as possible, and I will try again.
Stan

Quote:

Sat, 6 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
papi,
i am still waiting to hear from you and to what next to do.i love u.have a nice day.

Quote:

On Sat, 6 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> "papi,
> how are you hopa all is fine.thanks for you mail.dear papi,i not have
> land lines now.and the money to scan and do other thing is high,please
> want to send all my data to you and you will fill it for me adn scan.papi
> do it for me.i love you.

Quote:

Hi doll,
I'm not sure what your asking me to do. How can I fill out the forms,
when they require a signature? You know they will match it when you pick up the money.
Sandra I don't think you understand how serious my government is about
combating international terrorism, besides you are asking me to commit
a felony, and much scrutiny from the government, and I already have mucho problamos with the IRA.
If you need a couple of bucks to scan copies, I can express mail you some cash, but that will cause delays, so can't you just borrow 10 bucks, until the transfer goes through?
I checked with moneygram, and they have the same security measures, so I'm afraid that if you want the money wired, we will have to figure a way to complete the forms.
Papi

Quote:

Sat, 6 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
papi,
how are you.thanks for your mail,please i dont want you get into problem with them.i will try to know what to do,i will let you know if i get money to do it.
i love you.

Quote:

Mon, 8 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:

"mr. stan
how are you ,hope you are well.dear i have not heard from you. im still do some things to send thje form tou.sorry for the time wasting.i love you.have the doctor call you because i have give him your number.

Quote:

Dear Sandra,
Hi baby, sorry I haven't wrote, thing at my company have been hectic. I had to fire some employees, and I have been doing their work until I can find replacements; but reading your letter makes everything so much better.
I wish I could see you, and grope you right now. It is so hard trying to plan a future with someone who you have never felt up, or given a golden shower too, and I really have to whack it raw, just to get off on that old picture you sent
I think Dr. Shit-heel tried to call me, but he must have chickened out at the last minute, because my voice mail has a message from Africa on it, but nobody speaks, I knew someone was there, because I could hear him breathing. Tell him to grow a set call me back, and speak this time.
Is your brother still in that hell hospital, and has his condition improved at all?
You should try to hurry and get those forms filled, because I drew that money out of the bank, and I don't really like having that much cash just lying around the house.
Tell that turd hustling witch-doctor of yours that if he wants to get paid, he should print and scan the forms for you.
The lady at Western Union said that when you fill the forms, make sure you follow the instructions exactly. She also gave me a brochure on the dangers of sending money to West Africa. I never knew that your country was so screwed up. I knew about the war and famine, but I never realized that you live in Lazy Ass Scammer Capitol of the World.
She also showed me a news article that says that 85% of Nigerian women are physically abused by men� is that true?
I want you to know, that not all men are like that, and as my girl, nobody will ever lay a finger on you again! If some monkey fucker even so much as looks at you sideways, you tell me, and I swear to God! I will jump on a plane, come over there, and make them wish they were never born.
No more of that second class citizen shit for you, because now you are my princess, and Papi will never hurt you (unless you really deserve it).
Papi
ps. Why did you start calling me mr. stan again?

Quote:

Tue, 9 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
papi,
i love your message,i knew you are there for me.thanks for every thing.no body have abused me before.have a nice a day papi.i love you ,

Quote:

On Thu, 11 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> papi,
> hope all is well with you.i love you.

After all the fuss, he finally produces this mess;
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b74/mypicorama/31ca831e.jpg
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b74/mypicorama/1544b0e0.jpg
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b74/mypicorama/73efd971.jpg
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b74/mypicorama/d30aba5f.jpg

Quote:

August 11, 2005
Hello Lover,
I don't mean to neglect you, but remember when I told you that I had some problems at work. Well the situation was worse than I thought. Several of my employees were skimming money from my company, and in all, they took over $150,000 in a six month period. If I hadn't installed those hidden cameras, I may have never caught them.
I wish you were here with me now my little chickadu, because I sure need people I can trust right now.
I almost forgot about those stupid forms. I printed them, and I don't know how to say this nicely sweet cheeks, but they are really crappy. You left several blank spaces, I can't read your address or phone number and the print quality sucks. What did you use to print and scan with; a HP 100BC?
I'm afraid that if I take these forms to western onion like this, they will scrutinize the hell out of me, and contact the dreaded, "Homeland Security" and probably probe my anus. Didn't I tell you that the U.S government is cracking down on anonymous money transfers, because they think it funds terrorism?
I really don't want to deal with this bullshit, and the last thing I need is to be sitting in an interrogation room getting grilled be some gumshoe fed with a rubber glove and a fecal fetish.
Once again I'm wondering why I can't just mail the money to you.
If you feel it's necessary to sent money with westrn onion, then we will have to figure a way to get those forms right.
Let me know what you want to do.
Stan

Quote:

On Fri, 12 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> papi,
> how are you,dear,please i need your help.i have no other help except
> from you,papi you have to help me.papi help me please create a way to
> send the money to me,honey, a friend of mine told me that you can send
> less money without filling any form.please,papi do it for me, you are my
> world now.please tell me your plans.i love to hear from you.the person
> that gave me the money to print and scan the form is asking for her
> money.papi i love you with my heart.waiting to know your next plan.
> with love
> sandra
Date Fri, 12 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
PAPI,
PLEASE DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO.YOUR ARE MY LAST HOPE.DO ALL THAT PLEASES YOU.I LOVE YOU

Quote:

Dear Sandra,
Hello baby doll. Stan the man is here to help you, but I need you to calm down and slowly read what I'm writing.
What the hell do you mean you paid somebody for that crappy print and scan! You can't read it because the print quality is so shitty, don't pay a nickel for that mess!
I told you from the beginning that westan unicn was a pain in the ass, but you insisted, so here we are.
The solution is real simple. Either get the forms right, or just give me your address so I can mail the money.
I will call in the morning to see if I can send less, and not use the form, but I have to admit I'm a little disappointed, in the half hearted effort you�re putting into this.
When we get you to New York, we are going to have to talk about this "poor little waif routine�, because this city will eat you alive with that attitude. I don't want my woman begging for nothing! And if you have a goal to reach (especially with money) then get it!
You�re a hot ass piece of tail Sandra, and you shouldn't have to scrounge around for a couple of bucks with a rack like that, besides you have a sugar daddy right here.
I'm flying to Las Vegas this weekend, so try to let me know by tomorrow what we should do or we will have to wait till Monday.
Love Ya,
Stan

Quote:

On Sat, 13 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> papi.
> thanks for all your carings to me you makes me feel great,dear sorry for
> all my non hearted behaviour,i will change for good.papi sending money
> by is a risky thing here,you my country,they are bad when things that
> concerns money,please i dont want you to lose money because of me.please
> try again with western union money transfer with less amount and tell me
> how it works.i love to be with you that is what i need most now. i am
> feelin lonely here,try and take me to there,papi do it for me i want to
> be with you to make to those white girls that are calling you for
> marriage go from you.tell them that you are married for them to go.i love
> you,you are all that i want papi. make me your wife that is all i need
> the most thing i need is to be your wife.
> i love you so much. hope to hear from you. tell that lady at western
> union that i am not a bad person that i am your wife.

Quote:

Dear Sandra,
I went to westen union today, and explained to the lady that you are in a third world country, and your technology sucks.
I showed her the forms you sent, and as I suspected she said they were unacceptable. She said that it doesn't matter if your sending one dollar, the Security Validation forms must be filled out by the receiver.
She told me that Lagos was not like other poor parts of Africa, and that plenty of people have computers, or can get printing at internet cafe's, for just a little bit of change. Is this true and if so why are you making such a big deal about this?
She also got her manager, and they asked me a bunch of questions. They asked if you were related to me, or if we were married; when I told them no, she gave me a whole bunch of forms to fill out, and told me that if I sent money to west Africa, that I would loose my money, and never hear from you again. I told them that this was bullshit, and that you were going to be my wife, but they were not impressed.
Sandra, you need to propose a solution, because the only thing I can think of is for you to fill out the forms correctly. I do have half a mind to come over there myself and finally get to see you.
Did you mean it when you said you wanted to get married?
Stan

Quote:

On Mon, 15 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:

> papi,i love all you have done for me even though it
> have no result.thanks for very thing.dear how was your
> weekend because your happiness is all that matters to
> me most,papi,you have tried for me much sorry for my
> distorbance to you.all your commitment to me prove to
> me that you are the man for me.papi i want to get
> married.papi, my brother is still in hospital,so am
> going around to know what i will do,even though the
> world fail to help him,i will not.and God will not
> also.papi i will know what i will do with the form.i
> am not going to run with your money,i am in love with
> you,i want to expend my life with you,why will i run,i
> am regreting that you have not stayed with me,
> because if you have,you will not listen to those white
> people there,do they thing that every black girl is
> bad? or they thing that all people is bad here?.please
> that there is still good people here,tell them.
> i love you.

Quote:

Dear Sandra,
It makes my loins throb thinking of you in so much pain. Please darlings don�t despair (too much); things will get better for you, and your brother very soon.
I don't understand what you are saying about the forms, can you get them done or not?
Remember what I said before my pet... Don't sit around waiting for the "world" to help you, do something about it!
The easiest thing to do right now, is to get those forms filled out correctly.
I have to admit it's hard having a relationship with someone you only know through letters, and at times I wonder if it's worth it, but when I see your picture I get a little chubby going, and, I know you�re the woman for me.
It's cute that you are jealous of these evil white jezabelle slut's, but you don't have anything to worry about my ebony princess, because I have the fever, that�s right, the jungle fever for you, my luscious pet. Besides in the words of the esteemed Sir, Mix A Lot;
� So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Baby Got Back!
I was serious about coming over there to rescue you, because you are obviously having problems with the witch doctors, and even filling out simple forms.
I checked on Travel o Rama, and I can get a round trip ticket for $1445, and will take about 16hrs to get there.
If I can make arrangement to have someone watch my business, then I can leave as soon as 8/30/05.
I'm going to make some phone calls and will get back to you soon.
Papi

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:05 pm

BAAHAHAHAH!!!!

Your Sandra bait is going better than mine! The little mugu fucker even sent you a picture of the "brother" with the pillow stuffing up against the side of his head! I'm so damn jealous, but hey, I gotta give props where they are due. Good job!

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:38 pm

Not even an original poem. Check this site, for example. I haven't tracked down the originator yet, but I think it's by Jason Holmes.

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 7:43 pm

Thanks for the kudos Larry� But I owe it all to you.
Testemonial

Quote:

Yes, I was a misled and befuddled baiter in the beginning. My characters where so out there, that my baits became tortuous exercises in semantic blockage.
After reading some of @Larry Flynt baits, I was a changed man. I realized that I can run tenable baits without playing some obscure role� The Sardonic Prince of 419 has shown me the light.

Now back to the damsel of discharge;

Quote:

On Wed, 17 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> papi,
> how are you,hope all is fine.dear i am stick now,i will get to you when i
> am ok.
> thanks for your mail. about the form i have no money for it now,please
> if you can help me fill it. sorry for my distorbances.hope to hear from
> you so that i will tell you how your coming will be,
> with love

Quote:

Wed, 17 Aug 2005
Dear Sandra,
I hope you and your brother are well. I'm sorry to hear you are sick, if
you were here I could give you a golden shower and make you feel better.
I'm not going to start lecturing you again, because you are sick, but I
cannot sign those forms, it is a big felony here, and I can't afford to
go to jail.
I'm going to returne the money to the bank until we can find a solution,
because I don't like having $2500 just laying around the house.
I hope you fell well enough soon to write me some more of the warm and
loving letters you have been sending.
Love and kisses,
Stan

I attached this e-card which shows they don�t read shit of what we send.
http://brawl-hall.com/gallery/details.php?image_id=2391

Quote:

Thu, 25 Aug 2005
From "sandra chukwu"
To "Stan"
Subject so nice
papi,
thanks for your mail.i got your card it is nice to get things like that from you. ilove it.dear i am getting well now.i miss you so much.dear i am in need of money now,i want to buy phone which we will use to get in contact any time i wish.let me know your mind.i love you.<

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:29 pm

Hey! "She" and I share the same birthday .... but I'm a lot older, though she did join the Catholic Church long before I was born .....

Great baiting Dan!

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 10:04 pm

Hmmm, tell sis that the hospital should try again on the bandaging of her bro... looks like he tried to headbutt a roll of gauze.

Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2005 1:18 am

^ They had a few observations on "Diaper Head" in this thread; http://tinyurl.com/8rntj
I especially liked;

Quote:

@Chief2B said:
Nahhh, that's just his Barrister wig that has slipped off of his head.

Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 2:50 am

Well, sweet Sandra must be gettin the shaft over there at Larry's Fudge Packing Factory, because she lost all her resolve over the WU transfer, and now just want me to send a phone... As if that's any easier. Laughing

Quote:

On Fri, 26 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:

> papi how are you.talk to me.i love and miss you so much

Quote:

Dear Sandra,
I hope you and your brother are well.
I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I have grown so attached to you in
the past weeks, but now I sit here unable to help you live the way you
deserve. I almost feel guilty sitting here in my designer underwear while you suffer. It's a real pisser that you're in that shit-hole country, where you can't even raise a dollar to scan some copies.
Well I took a bunch of pills and drank a whole bottle of cognac, so I must sleep now.
I will write tomorrow.
Papi

Quote:

On Fri, 26 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> papi
> it a pity,dear hope one day i will be there for you.hope to hear from
> tomorrow.please remember what asked you to do for me.it is a way we can contact well. i love u.dont worry it will be over one day,i promise,believe me,one day i will be there.

Quote:

Date Mon, 29 Aug 2005
From mr. stan
To "sandra chukwu"
Sandra,
Hello darling. I'm not sure I know what you asked me to do.
I know you said you wanted a phone. Do you want me to mail you a phone?

Quote:

On Tue, 30 Aug 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:

> papi
> how are you.hope the hurricane katrina did not come your area,i was
> worried when i heard that it was killing people,thank God because my
> heart,soul and my love is saved.dear yes want you to send the phone
> through UPS to my aunts city.
> i will get it.send to UPS ENUGU,ENUGU STATE NIGERIA,i will be happy to hear your voice one.dear be careful there with women,i know you will be some times sexually charged but no sandra to be hold, or see but i
> promise you i will be with you one day believe,to make love with you,dont use because i am not there to go for other women there,as for me have no other person in mind exccpt papi. i love you.i love to hear from you soon.

Quote:

Hi Sandra,
The Hurricane didn't hit anywhere near NY, so I'm fine, but thanks for
your concern.
I love to read your words confirming that we are together, because I
haven't been with any other women since I became sure that you where saving that sweet ass for me, As a matter of fact, I can't even think about another woman but you.
I will stop by the phone store today and buy a phone, have it activated,
and get it in the mail.
Are you sure that the address is UPS ENUGU,ENUGU STATE NIGERIA? I don't see any street number or name.
I have to go to work now, so I will write again later.
Papi

Quote:

Wed, 31 Aug 2005
From mr. stan
To "sandra chukwu"
Hi Doll,
I purchased a Nokia camera phone yesterday, so you can take pictures to, but I'm not sure what to do about activating it. The man at the store
said that even if I activate it here, it probably won't work in Africa.
I think if I put some cash in the box, you can get it turned on over
there.
Tell me what you think, so I can get it mailed today or tomorrow.
Get back to me soon, because I can't wait to talk to you.
Papi

Quote:

On Thu, 1 Sep 2005 "sandra chukwu" said:
> papi,
> thanks for your carings to me and your encouraging and assuring words that we are togather.thanks alot for all your good doings to me.i love Nokia camera purchased to enable me take pictures easy,you can go ahead send it and do how you said,i will activate here.thanks, ilove you.I can't wait to talk to you Love,

Quote:

Date Fri, 2 Sep 2005
From mr. stan
To "sandra chukwu"

Hello my chikadu,
I'm so excited that we are finally going to be able to talk.
I got everything wrapped, and I'am going to go to the UPS store today, I
would have went yesterday but I had so many thing to get ready, and then I realized that I better buy some extra batteries, so you can always be fully charged. Anyways I wrapped $1200 cash in with the insrtuction
manual.
You will also find a small gold band taped to the back of the phone. Don't worry this token is not your engagement ring, but it's
called a promise ring. It to show those little boys over there that you are
spoken for, so they should, STAY OOOOFFFF!!!!!!!
I've never thought about this before, but do you want children?
Papi

It's been loads of fun playing footsies with this mugu; but it's time for her to put out, [Irish accent] or feel the back of me hand..

Quote:

Date Sat, 3 Sep 2005
From mr. stan
To "sandra chukwu"

Dear Sandra,
I hope you are well today.
I had everthing ready to go today, I boxed the phone and contents in a
plain brown box, and went to the UPS store to ship it.
I was pretty excited that we would finally be talking, but when I handed the package to the woman at the counter, she took one look at the address and handed me six forms to fill out, unfourtunately three are for me, and three are for you. I know this is your b�te noire my pet, but please just fill these out and get them back without a bunch of bitching.
You can't say that this is whitey keepin you down either, because the
woman at UPS was African. Well not really African, but she's from the island nation of Bimini, but she was a black woman. Her name is Lauren, and she explained to me that the new Homeland Security Act regulations apply to all shipments to certian countries, and like it or not, yours is one of them.
I know you said you're broke, but you have to make this happen. I'm sending a $400 phone, $1200 cash, and a promise ring to show my
commitment to you, so don't tell me you can't get two bucks to send some
forms.
Is it cheaper to fax? because my phone number is also a fax... Whatever it takes, just do it!
You can't tease me like this any more, I want some phone fornication NOW! I'm having blue balls waiting for you, so get this done and I
promise you won't regret it.
Sorry I have to be so stern with you my pr�cieux, but you are in dire
need of a stong man to guide you, so stop lamenting and do as I say.
Always Yours,
Papi

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