Chuckie wants Anna (in progress - updated 8/26)

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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 4:11 am

This is my new lad love, would-be businessman and stud . Chuckie didn't start out as the new love of my life, of course. He started out as a sad sack of an "unemployed school-leaver" who hit the shuttle, begging for cash. Chuckie's text will be in green, for the money he's attempting to scam.

Hello,

I thank God for your life and your position today which God has only made
possible for you.

I got your email contact from a friend who's sister is a musician.

My name is a Nigerian. I will want you to belief that I, your fan is praying for you everyday for more life. I belief not everybody will be placed as high or be a celebrity as God has placed you.

I am an un employed school leaver. I do not want to dirty my hands with
unholy activities that will only earn me a hell.

My purpose of writing is to let you know that many people like me love.
Secondly, I want to beg you for some little financial assistance to enable
me start a petty trading in my locality here in Lagos Nigeria, No matter how
small it is. It will go a long way to make my living change since hardship
is the other of the day for me your admirer.

I do not want to dirty my hands with unholy activities that will only earn
me a hell.

God will strenghten your life in all aspects as you listen to my pleas.
Pls do not allow your secretary or manager to skip this message from
reaching you.

More blessings.

I was going to ignore him at first, as he seemed a bit boring. Fortunately, a thread in the main forum about whether he was a lad or just a slacker looking for easy money convinced me that he could use a good baiting. So, as , I sent him a brief initial response (as I'm Teh Sexxeh Playmate Anna, my text is in dark red):

Dear ,

Thank you for your sweet e-mail - I'm always so glad to hear from one
of my fans, especially one from so far away!

Your letter has touched me - is there any way I can help?

I hope to hear from you soon.
- Anna Nicole

Chuckie sent a crappy scripted response - at this point, he was still pretty boring.

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your email response. I just need any amount of money from as assistance from you to start a trade in my place here in Lagos Nigeria.

Any amount of money from you is accepted by me as a blessing for me.
May God bless for responding to my pleas.

Many thanks

Naturally, I'm not about to let him off this easily - as a fake rich bitch, I want to know where my fake money is going. So, I asked him to describe his plans. I also decided to see if I could get a rise out of him, so I attached an autographed head shot of "myself" (hooray for Tablet PC technology that lets me sign pictures without having to use handwriting fonts).

My dear Mr. ,

Before I invest anything, I'd like to know a bit more about what sort
of business you're thinking about setting up. As you well know, a
celebrity such as myself can't afford to go attaching her name to just
any old street stall or shady storefront. I'm sure you realize that,
before you embark on any business venture, there are several questions
that must be answered, such as:

- Have you any experience in the field you plan to enter?
- Have you found premises?
- How much money would be sufficient for startup costs?
- What licenses and permits are required, if any?

Incidentally, there's no need to be so formal and call me "Sir,"
especially, as I'm sure you know, I'm definitely NOT a man! I don't
think Hugh would have appreciated a man posing for Playboy! Wink

"Anna" will do nicely.

I'm glad to hear from you.

Anna Nicole

(P.S.: I've attached a photo that I've autographed for you - I love
to hear from my fans!)

To my amusement, Chuckie suddenly underwent a transformation from begging slacker to budding businessman with a bit of a thing for me.

Hi Ann, [he is unable to wrap his head around "Anna"]

Thank you for your mail. You have made my life so happy again. Your email to me was so warm and exciting that I cant stop to thank you for your kindness and affection. You look so pretty and I cannot stop looking at your Pix since I got it in my email. Thank you very much.

I promised, I will never fail you in making sure I satisfy your needs as regards to the investment you want to embark on in Nigeria because of me. My heavenly father will always be by our side to succeed in this pursuit.

And to answers to your questions presented to me,

1 - Regarding (Experience), I can do well in any aspect of business most especially when it comes to Trading and Business management. I am a 37 years old and Learned with alot of experience.

I would like you to invest in Computers and accessories - like C.P.U , MONITORS and other accessories that GOES WITH IT. Also Other Electronics like - PHOTOCOPY MACHINES , SCAN MACHINES AND PRINTERS . Then shop Make - ups like - MOBILE PHONE HAND SETS ,TELEPHONE SETS , AND ACCESSORIES

2 - I can easily find a Premises once I meet with any of the Estate or Property Managers who are close. And I will want the locations at choice areas of Lagos like SURULERE COMMERCIAL AVENUE AND IKEJA COMMERCIAL AVENUE OR LAGOS ISLAND CENTRAL BUSINESS UNIT which you will like when you come visiting.

3 - Evaluating the cost is what I cannot excactly say here because I will want to hear from you first to know if you will accept and approve the above VENTURE and HOW MUCH you will want to INVEST ON IT so that I can then work on the statistics.

4 - Concerning the procurement of Licence and Permits, I will get them within 4 days through a lawyer. It is easily given so far the person is investing on genuine business.

I will like you to give me a feedback to enable me continue. Secondly, If
you need anything from me like Picture or Telephone number, I will be ready to forward them to you.

May God grant you your heart desires.

Yours,

Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 4:27 am

I decide that Anna likes the business proposal, so I tell Chuckie that he's in. I also attached a black-and-white cheesecake shot of a lingerie-clad Anna for good measure.

Your business proposal sounds very well-thought-out indeed. I am most definitely interested. Let me talk it over with my financial advisors (they're very discreet, and understand the need for privacy, so the matter will remain confidential), and get back to you soon.

Thank you so much for the compliments on my picture - it warms my
heart to know that you find me appealing. I've attached a shot from a
recent photo shoot - I rather like it, as it has an old-fashioned yet
sexy appeal. I hope you enjoy it!

I hope to hear from you soon!

At first, Chuckie is all business.

Once again I write to commend your trust on me. I will always like to hear from you hence I ask if you can confidentialy give to me our telephone number so that I can always hear your voice. I promised
to keep it very secret from any one ///.

I admire you.

Five minutes later, however, he starts to go a little bit crazy.

Dear "ANN"
Thanks for the response. But I must confess that your Recent Photo you sent to me is putting me off balance. It is irresistable to wink an eye away from your body. It makes me warm or rather hot when I look at it, I mean them. I have just placed them at my Bedside for admiration and prayers.

I will not want to wait longer to see you conclude arrangements on the business proposals so that you can come down here for the feasibilty to avail me have a look at your face. It will be wonderful.

God help us.

As I'm a old-fashioned country gal, I thank him for his compliments.

I'm so pleased that you find me attractive - a lady always loves to know that she's appealing to the men in her life.

I'd love to see what you look like. I'll bet you're very handsome. Wink

Chuckie replies with a rambling little screed and his photo (or someone's $1.98 department store photo that he borrowed).

"ANN"

You may find this my picture not appealing, but I pray that you accept it in good faith.

I have never before, known love to someone so far away; not only but now. And only you alone.

I feel so delighted sharing my dreams, love and affection with someone like you - so much celebrated and full with beauty.

"ANN", how can I say it to you that the aweful creation of the universe unfolds itself on the existence of someone like you, created with the golden rays of the setting sun.

How wonderful to "seek you and love you" so far away yet I cannot stop touching you.

You have created an entire world of excitment in my heart which can only be filled up when I have made it empty. But I am afraid, my loving you will never bring a barrier to my "intentions" of knowings you.

But one thing I owe you is that I will never seize to admire you and make prayers to God daily to keep you safe and guide you in very step you take.

Please do accept me as I am. I have many things in my heart to say but I lack words.............

Kindest regards,
Max to "Ann".

Of course, I want to encourage him, so I send a syrupy-sweet answer.

Dearest Max,

How could you think that I wouldn't find you appealing? On the
contrary, I think you're a very attractive man, as handsome as your
words are poetic. I'm so glad that I have this opportunity to
correspond with you - it's refreshing to find someone so honest and
sincere.

Thinking of you,

Chuckie digs this attention from my HAWTTT!!!11! Playmate self, and tells me so.

My "ANN"

Thank you very much for your response to the receipt of my photo.

I am highly elevated to have been appreciated with compliments from a celebrity like you.

It is unfortunate rather that my inadequacies have kept me away from taking up my responsibilities in showing you the "returns" of of love.

But one thing I am confident of, is that your aura must envelop me in the fullest of my affection, transparency and sincerity to you.

To God be the glory and all things being equal, I will never forget your existence in my life.

Thanking you for thinking of me.

Yours,
Max.

I send another nice little note of encouragement.

Dearest Max,

Inadequacies? Don't say that about yourself - from what I can see,
you're a intelligent, warm, caring, poetic soul, and I'm glad to know
you.

Thinking of you

A few minutes later, I send him another "autographed" photo, this time a black-and-white shot of a half-nekkid "me."

Sweetest Max,

I thought you might like to see one of my new photos. We've just approved these, as we're very pleased with the results - I hope you'll be pleased as well! Wink

Love and kisses

Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 4:40 am

Chuckie claims to be REALLY appreciative of my half-nekkid self. It's a good thing I opened this e-mail at home, as, by the time I finished it, I was laughing like hell - that wouldn't have been easy to explain in the school library. Note that the sneaky little lad tries to convince me to send him a cell phone, and is still yapping about his poverty.

My Sweet "ANN"

Oh "ANN" I am loosing my control, I have never done this before ;
let me reveal to you now ..."ANN" I never MASTURBATED - But I Have Just Done It This Afternoon - just because of what I saw in you.

Oh my "ANN" For How Long Can I Do This. I dont think I can stop with this recent photo yours hung over my bed.

These photos are putting me off balance and I am beginning to hate my girl friend.

But "ANN" when I say inadequencies, it includes my financial nonpower. I
have got no job for the past 7 months now. But my worries are less now,
The Real Thing is that I have You.

"ANN" Do you know that I cannot let you go?. You have changed my world. My face beams with smiles and happiness whenever I look at your photos inspite of my financial position. This your recent "N" photo will give me hope to stay alive much longer than I thought. "ANN" please take me ...../, if I have anything, I can loose all because of you. Please pardon me for this revealation - I have started loosing my sperms already.../

........"ANN" I cant afford to miss you.....

Please keep my love - Please keep my love - And Please keep my love.(3 times) [his "3 times, not mine]

Maybe I will love to hear your voice over the phone. One thing I will want is to own a moblie phone which I will use ONLY on your calls - No one else, So that when it rings, I will stop every thing for you. I will not risk my love and future by loosing you to anyone in Nigeria should I use the public phone to contact you. I will do everything posible to confidentially secure your telephone numbers from anybody. "You are a Rare Gem" to share with.

I am a jealous lover, not only that I can't afford to share your voice and affection with anyone else here. Please do not be upset or hate me because of this suggestion. If you don't buy the idea, please discard it but don't take away your love from me - "Your Love, Affection and kindness are sufficient for me".

I can go on and on to reveal my heart to you if my time in the cybercafe can permit me. Do you know what? I pay extra money inorder to use a private computer in the cafe to check and send mails to you just to maintain privy. I do not want anybody to set his or her face on you and the
mails.

I will continue again from where I stopped.

Don't stop LOVING Me.

For Ever Yours,
Max.

This is one of the funniest e-mails I've ever received from a lad - I need a few more of these for my collection, So, I stir the pot a bit.

Sweetest darling Max,

You have no idea what effect your letter had on me, babe. It makes me
incredibly hot just knowing that you find me so sexy - I love a man
who knows what he likes and isn't afraid to admit it. I have to say
that I'm a bit of a lioness in bed - I love being the aggressor. Do
you prefer aggressive lovers, or more passive, placid girls?
Curiosity is getting the better of this sexy kitten.

Love and kisses to you

This rather tame little message knocks Chuckie even further off script. He forgets all about money, and concentrates on trying to convince me that he's a stud.

My Darling "ANN"

I got your sexy mail and I am here to tell you that I will always return to you any bedmathics you challange me with no matter how it comes - be it aggressive or passive but me taking it aggressive with you will make you hate me because you will end up gasping for breath which will not come until I am over in the session.

This is why I need to talk to you on phone so that I can have it oral with you until ..... who knows?. Oh Pity poor me, I have lost all my sperms.

The euphoria of your presence in my life has been so wonderful, fantastic and intoxicating. In my entire life, I have never been so happy as I am all these days of my knowing you.

I have since yesterday gone soaring in the realms of creation trying to discover the misery behing the day that I knew you. I have counted myself so lucky by divine intervention to have known an angel so special like you, so lucky that I can imagine my mails find their ways right there in your mail inbox when they are actually meant for the trash.

How I wished my mother and father could have lived uptil this day to witness this romantic occurrance in the life of their son.

"ANN", just imagine your image of photos that are so desiring, elegant and beautiful doted all arround my little room here in Lagos - Nigeria. I have never, I meant since I was born set my eyes on someone so pretty like my "ANN".

My eyes, motions and imaginations have succeeded NOT to look away from your succulent NAKED body that reminds me of the serenity of the moon night adorned with colourful twinkling stars that just escaped the galaxies. Belief me, should I have my way to LICK Or SUCK, I will NOT spare any HOLE of your body.,,,,,,,,, /

You are my darling, my angel and my life.

I thank you.
Yours Max.

I'm going to reply with some good, old-fashioned lad smut this weekend, and include a topless photo. Stay tuned!

Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 1:25 pm

Unbelievable! How long did did it take him to go from leaver to lover?

Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 10:50 pm

The complete switch took him nine days. Very Happy

He's a fast mover, is ol' Chuckie.

Guest

omg these are my faves! Keep doin ya thing!!!

Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 1:40 am

The Chuckie and Anna Show is rolling right along, much to my amusement. However, it is firmly in NSFW territory, so I've posted the latest updates on my Eater webspace, and provided a handy-dandy little link.

Warning - dirty words and lad smut abound - DEFINITELY NSFW!

The saga continues...

Guest

yo man..u gotta show the pics though playa send the pics you sent him and the pics he sent u

Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 11:35 am

Oh dear... Rolling Eyes

Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 11:51 am

Perhaps you should re-label this thread 'The Chuckie (Fidel) and Anna Show'.

Normally, I wouldn't want a lad to see this web site. But Chuckie really ought to read this. Or at least his Oga. Surprised

Master Baiter Joined: 20 Aug 2005 Posts: 187

Sorry to say this, but I'm getting suspicious that this guy isn't a real lad. His English is too good, both his grammar and his writing style.

Fun reading, though.

Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 7:49 pm

No worries as to the authenticity of Chuckie/Max/Fidel (good grief, I'm baiting Castro!) - he is 100% risky-free mugu. He obviously has a much better education than average, which makes him a highly amusing pet, but he's definitely a lad from Lagos, as this excerpt from the whois on his ISP indicates:

Quote:

% Information related to '193.220.50.0 - 193.220.50.255'

inetnum: 193.220.50.0 - 193.220.50.255
netname: SWIFT-NETWORKS-NG
descr: Swift Networks Limited
descr: Lagos, Nigeria
country: NG
admin-c: EAG6-RIPE
tech-c: EAG6-RIPE
status: ASSIGNED PA
remarks: -----------------
remarks: T-IP-20030924
remarks: -----------------
notify: *******@swiftng.com
mnt-by: TAIDE-NOC
changed: ********@taide.net 20030924
source: RIPE

He's such an insensitive clod, starting in about money like that at the end of his smutty letter - I might have to send him on a safari as punishment. Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:13 pm

Today's episode of the Chuckie/Fidel and Anna Show is a short one. Since Anna is feeling lazy (vacation does that to me), I sent a brief note in reply to my pet's Penthouse Forum letter.

Darlin', anything you do to me, with me, or for me would be all right
by me. You are so incredibly sexy...

Love and kisses,
Anna

About a half-hour later, I decided to reward Chuckie for his creativity (positive reinforcement is an excellent tool for pet-training), so I sent another short note, this time accompanied by a topless shot.

Sweet one,
This is just a note to let you know I'm thinking of you tonight...and
sending you this photo so you can think of me...love and kisses...
Love,
Anna

Alas, my bare-bosomed charms found my lad just too exhausted, broken-down, and poor to appreciate them fully. Join me in a pity-party for poor, dispirited, heartsick Chuckie, as he whines about his pathetic life:

My sweetheart,

Thanks for your warming photo. I am all yours and I cannot live to say yes to anyone else except you. You have made me a object of concentration.

But one problem I an having is that I do not know for long it will take me to continue loosing my sperms because of you. "Mine" you have not told me what are thinking about me. I have so much lost concentration that I do not know what next to do. What I am only thinking daily is my "ANN". I have lost my appettite to eat and I am loosing weight.

Darling, you have turned all my body to an ice cube. I melt at the slightest thought of you....I know you will not believe it but it is fact.

"Mine" I want to see you. I want to touch you and I want to feel you. Oh my God //, my darling "Anna" for how long will I long to see you?.

My Sweetheart, my only one,please have mercy on me and give to me your telephone number so that I can even speak with you. See what you have done to my life leaving me here suffering all alone without you.

I have no no job, no money and no one to weep for me for me. Darling, you know it is only you I have for now and I think you can change my world.

///Please dont make me mad because of my love for you////.

I am loosing tears while I continue to write. So let me stop here.

Be my love , my comforter and my helper.

I remain,
Your Max.

Aww. Boo-frickin-hoo. My heart would ache for you if I had one. Twisted Evil

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