WU guy 2: Trip #16 (Safari #4, Arrest #2) Nippels the idiot

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Guest

C'mon Mc Flibbish! He needs to go to WU a MINIMUM of 30 times!

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:32 pm

What about using Moneygram now?

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:38 pm

Master Shake wrote:

C'mon Mc Flibbish! He needs to go to WU a MINIMUM of 30 times!

Anything short of that would seem to be a disappointment...

@Skinner - he does seem ripe for a trophy Very Happy

Perhaps a security key photo?

Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 9:41 pm

Can I change my original prediction of 10 trips to 20??

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 12:32 am

heh I dunno...27 trip guy was getting twiggy at about 7 trips too tho...
So I f'd up about 4 things in this response:

Quote:

From: -CC
To: "Dr. Chukwudi Nwosu"
Date: Aug 4, 2005 9:18 AM

I have cancelled the first transaction and sent it thru Western Union
Money Gram like you asked to Paul Onkata.

The scan is attached but here is the information: [I didn't attach anything]
IF THE MONEY YOU SENT IS THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY GRAM THISARE THE
INFORMATION THEY NEED TO RECIEVE THE MONEY.

(1):SENDER NAME:.............................Cluster Clamtitty

(2)RECIEVER NAME:.......................Paul Onkata

(3)CONTROL NUMBER:.....................33857425

(4)SENDER CONTACT ADDRESS:.................2 Briar, Springdon MS 68554

(5)TEXT QUESTION:.........................There is one?

(6)AMOUNT OF MONEY SEND:.........................$800

I can only send 800 this time because of all the fees. Plus I stopped
off to get a card and some gummy bears for the baby. Where can I send
the card so it can get to her?

Blessings to you I hope your trip was safe.
-Cluster

So I sent it to Western Union Money Gram, a rarely used company. And Paul's last name is all wrong.

So then 'Paul' sends me:

Quote:

Chukwudi Nwosu to me

GOOD DAY MR CLUSTER,
i GOT YOUR MAIL, IT'S 6 Razz

M HERE. THIS IS THE INSTRUCTION THE DOCTOR GIVE TO ME.HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU THAT, IF YOUR SENT THE MONEY, PLEASE YOU SHOULD SCAN THE RECEIPT THAT THEY GAVE TO YOU IN THE BANK YOU SENT THE MONEY FROM.BECAUSE I WILL PRINT IT OUT AND TAKE IT TO THE BANK, AND GIVE IT TO THE BANK MANAGER FOR CLAERIFICATION.SIR I DONT WANT THE DOCTOR TO BE ANGRY WITHME IF HE COMES BACK .PLEASE TRY TO SAVE MY JOB FOR ME AND I DONT WANT TO HAVE TROUBLE WITH DOCTOR .HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST.
BEST REGARD
PAUL OKONTA

I send back a DLL as a jpg...

Quote:

Dr. Chukwudi Nwosu to me
SIR NOTHING APPEAR IN THE E-MAILBOX, PLEASE LOOK AT WHAT YOU SCAN, IT DOES NOT APPEAR.TRY AND RESEND IT AGAIN .PLEASE SIR YOU SHOULD TRY IT IN YOUR OWN COMPUTER IF IT WILL OPEN.HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU IMMEDIATELY.
THANK
PAUL OKONTA

His computer is shite! But I don't have a scanner 'at home'. But he's got all he needs to make another trip right?

Quote:

CC to Chukwudi
Hmm, it seems to work for me.
I will rescan it and send it tomorrow. There is no scanner here at my
home. I'll have to do it at work.

Can't you just go to bank with the information I sent in the mean
time? It's the numbers you needed right?

I gave you those already.

Go to the bank with my email printed out in the morning and I'll scan
the reciept first thing when I get to work tomorrow. OK?

Blessings to you!
Cluster

PS here is the information again, sent Western Union Money Gram:
<snip>

I think he'll go.

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 10:56 pm

He didn't *want* to go...
Several whiney snivels like this:

Quote:

Dr. Chukwudi Nwosu to me

good day sir,
is just 12:noon there, sir i am still in the officer waiting for the scan reciept to send to me so that i can go to the bank and claim the money for the doctor, before him come back from travel,hope to hear from you soonest,please check before sending it
thanks,
paul okonta

With several slaps like:

Quote:

-CC to Chukwudi

I just got to work. I will try to scan it this morning. But I gave you
all the information already! You want an awful lot just so you can get
my money. Go to the bank with the information I gave you and I'll scan
the reciept if there is a problem! Print out my email, that should be
good enough!

You are really testing my patience. Maybe i should cancel the whole thing.
-Cluster

Finally...

Quote:

From: Dr. Chukwudi Nwosu
To: -CC
Date: Aug 5, 2005 11:31 AM
Subject: i am still in the offier waiting for you to scan the reciept and send it down, please check before sending it

is 4:pm there, i am just from the bank, please the maneger ask for the reciept, please send it to me,so that i can take it to the bank,
thanks
paul okonta

I sent him a MoneyGram one this time. For sure it'll work and the baby is saved!

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 12:25 am

McF - If you do eventually try for a photo, get the lad to hold up a sign with the Nike "Swoosh" logo on it. Laughing

He'll need a new pair of shoes when you're done with him. Very Happy

Z

Guest

You could try this;

Say that you know a member in his bank/WU office who can help with the code, and that he should wear a password on his shirt.

Something along the lines of:

Thiz iz a holduup,
R 'est me.

Sound good?

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 5:27 pm

Awww it was closed? Damn. Well double digits guaranteed anyway...

Quote:

From: Dr. Chukwudi Nwosu
To: -CC
Date: Aug 6, 2005 12:02 PM
Subject: i will get back to u on monday

good day mr cluster,
the doctor is just back from travel today.
i want to money gram office today but they did not open today.
that will be on monday.
i will get in touch with u as soon as i get there.
as for the baba, she is just been given some minor treatment this morning before i go to the bank.
thanks
paul okonta

Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 12:18 am

From "the mom"

Quote:

From: Okosu Grace
To: -CC
Date: Aug 6, 2005
Subject: THANKS A MILLION

Good day mr cluster,
Sir the doctor have return from travell this afternoon,sir i appreciate your effort,the runing round to make sure things work out .Sir the secretary told me that he recieve the form you sent to him this morning.The secretary instructed the nurse to commence treatment while he goes to the bank.On returning from the bank he called me and told me the bank dont open saturdays.Sir i thank you in Gods name and Gods blesses will abide with you for ever.
bellow is my address you ask for.

16 idama street off eboh
road warri,delta state.
234
Nigeria.

Please sir you can send the gift through this delevery services,(fedex) or (ups) Sir immediately you send it,e-mail me so that i can be aware.
Thanks
grace Okosu

Feel free to send "her" a teddy bear or a get well card.
Think she'll be thanking me a million on monday?

Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 2:01 pm

Time for him to safari to find a *good* banking system...

Quote:

From: Dr. Chukwudi Nwosu
To: -CC
Date: Aug 8, 2005 7:03 AM
Subject: POOR BANKING SYSTEM IN MONEY GRAM

Good day sir,
I am just from the bank,Sir we have poor banking system in western union money gram.The bank apologise to me that since five days now they was having a poor banking system in wester union money gram.I paul okonta is apologise for the inconvence,The doctor ask to tell you to go and withdraw you money from money gram and send it to western union money transfer, and the doctor told me to tell you that he's going to pay for the transfer fee,[how calvalier of him!] and you should withdraw the money out of the money you are sending because he said that you have past through alot of strees.Please you can send the money through my name .
(1)PAUL OKONTA
(2)LOCATION :NIGERIA
(3)STATE DETAL STATE.
(4)CITY:WARRI
(5)TEXT GUESTION AND ANSWER
(6)AMOUNT SENT:..........................
(7)CONTROL NUMBER..........................
PLEASE WHEM GOING TO THE BANK MAKE SURE THE INFORMATION IS COMPLETE.
THE NAME OF THE SECERTRAY;PAUL OKONTA AND THE CONTROL NUMBER OF THE RECIEPT.YOU CAN ASK THE WESTERN UNION TO GIVE YOU THE TRACKING SITE SO YOU CAN TRACK THE MONEY ONLINE WHETHER THE MONEY IS THERE OR NOT.
THANKS
PAUL OKONTA

ooo he's found the internoot...can't have that. And I can't get the money out of money gram. He'll have to go to another town where the banking system is top knotch. I've found one a few hundred kilometers away...he said he already travels so...

Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 2:47 pm

Quote:

(1)PAUL OKONTA
(2)LOCATION :NIGERIA
(3)STATE DETAL STATE.

He's giving you a gift here. Warri is in Delta State, not Detal State. Apparantly a typo. Send the money to Detal State. He won't get it because there's no such place.

Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 1:04 am

I'm so glad this eedeeot wrote me...it got me out of my baiting funk...

Quote:

-CC to Chukwudi

I went back to MoneyGram, but they won't give me my money back!
They did mention that Warri does have bad banking issues currently and
suggested going to Lagos, which is the biggest nearby city.

So since we had so many problems, I asked them to confirm a bank in
Lagos. They suggested Equitorial Bank on Mike Adenuga Street.

Try that ok? Shouldn't be a problem since you travel already.
Thank you for your efforts on behalf of the baby.

Yours,
Cluster

Quote:

Dr. Chukwudi Nwosu to me

good day mr cluster,
this is doctor chukwudi, i will ask my secretary to go there, and try to claim yhe money tomorrow,i will get back to you,the baby have been given some minor trement ,
thanks
dr chukwudi

I like the time difference...it's like christmas morning every time!

Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 7:31 pm

Great job on this one, McFlibbish! I'm baiting this idiot at the moment as well. But I haven't even gotten to the "send payment via WU" modality. Instead, I'm making him send me the baby's birth certificate. Can't wait for the WU part!

Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 11:25 pm

^^^ Did he write you today? He's usually like clockwork...perhaps the trip was longer than he thought. Very Happy

Last time he went away for 2 days was the first time, when he went to jail. This guy is a peach.

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 1:43 am

Several queries like:

Quote:

Was he able to get the money?
The person I called at MoneyGram said that no one had tried this morning.

Are you sure this person went to the bank I told you about in Lagos?

Thank you,
Cluster Clamtitty

Got this little gem:

Quote:

From: Dr. Chukwudi Nwosu
To: -CC
Date: Aug 9, 2005 6:40 PM
Subject: WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT REPLY
Good day Sir,
This is dr chukwudi,my secretray came back from lagos and he told me that bank at lagos has poor network and he was stressed up, from my state to lagos cost 4 hours drive.And he told me that if you are not going to send the money through western money transfer that he,s not going to the bank again.please go to the money gram and collect the money the agent here have bad network,please send the money through my secretary which is (PAUL OKONTA) NOT PAUL ONKATA.Please ask the bank to give you the tracking site online so that you can track it if the money is their.This is the tracking site the bank manager give to me www.westernunionmoney.com to track the money if it's their if there is money or not before coming to the bank to avoid embarasment.Hope to hear from you soon so that i can commence the surgery immediately.
Thanks
Dr chukwudi

Oh he's going back alright.

Guest

An 11 piece chicken McFlibbish!

419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Jun 2005 Posts: 344

mcflibbish - utterly amazing - laf!! kudos!!

dunno about where your character is supposedly located, but where I live there is no such thing as WU - nearest place to send a WU is something like 45 mins away.

cant wait to see how many trips you can get him to make - laf!

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 5:31 pm

McFlibbish,
The good doctor did not get back to me at his usual time because he was leaving to "get the birth certificate so that i can scan it for mrs grace"

Translation: You had him on safari again. Laughing

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 9:49 pm

So I slapped him to add insult to injury:

Quote:

From: -CC
To: "Dr. Chukwudi Nwosu"

8 hour trip for nothing!? I told you, I CANT GET MY MONEY BACK! You
need to get it!

Well the man at the Money Gram said you are doing something wrong. The network is fine in Lagos.He even called the bank I told you about and
they saw the money in the system. I suspect your secretary is either
trying to steal the money or is not very smart. Every one I talk to
here has said the money is there and any one with half a brain could
walk in and get it.

Perhaps it is the mispelling of his name. Perhaps if I fix the name
that he'll be able to get the money in Lagos again.

Also, did you fill out the terrorism security forms and supply a photo
ID? If you do not have an ID for the terrorism security then Paul will
not get the money they said.

I am getting very angry and frustrated. Perhaps I should figure
something else out and maybe bring the baby here.

You all don't seem to be helping anything at all. If you want the
money to do the surgery then you'll have to work with me, not against
me.
Cluster.

This is fairly hilarious:

Quote:

From: Dr. Chukwudi Nwosu
To: -CC
Date: Aug 10, 2005 4:27 PM
Subject: TRANSFER TO WESTERN UNION

Sir i told you, my secretary have gone to the bank i dont think he will make it there again,if really you want to help the baby you should go there and withdraw the money and send it to western union money transfer.
Look sir the first time you made me to spend a night in cell, and the second time time you give me wrong control number what do you think about that, if you are in my position what do you think your going to do.Look if you want to help the baby you better withdraw your money,my secretary is angry with me, while i am sending him to go and recieve insult in the bank.if you willy to help the baby do it that way.Dont feel i am concern about your money all i do is to take care of the baby not your money.
If you like you reply i dont mind.
Thanks
Dr chukwudi

Guest

If he gets snippy, start calling him Dr. Chumbawumba

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 9:59 pm

Quote:

i am sending him to go and recieve insult in the bank

And make sure he goes in person to collect the next transfer. Tell him you've sent his photo to the bank for security or something.

Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 2:16 am

I need to request a photo for that.

In case anyone forgot that he's an ahole first class:

Quote:

From: Okosu Grace
To: -CC
Date: Aug 10, 2005 5:20 PM
Subject: URGENT RESPOND

Compliment to you sir,
Sir the doctor told me to take my baby out of the hospital becuause he said that your playing with him,Sir the doctor instruct the workers not to alow me to use the compter in the hospital. that is why i can not get intouch with for sometime.I have to go to the nearest cafe to send you e-mail.Sir the doctor have given me a mandate of FIVE DAYS for me to turn up or i will take my baby out of the hospital.Sir you are the only hope i have now.Sir if you know the money can not be sent for the maximum of THREE DAYS that is my baby is going to mad.If my baby got mad i will kill my self because i will not be watching my baby going mad while i am alive.Please sir i am beging you with the last oportunity i have to send you this e-mail.As for now i have no way to send you e-mail again all else the money have be recieve by the doctor he will alowed me to use the computer.Please i am beging you with name of my late father to help my only baby i have in life and no one else again.May the God almighty give you more strenght to help.More blesing to you.
Best Regard
Grace Okosu

Insane babies? Suicide? What a turd.

Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 2:28 am

So, if the baby gets mad, the mother willl kill herself? Quick - somebody go rile up that brat!

McFlibbish, you are the WU god. I salute you, sir. <raises a glass>

Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 7:13 am

When I was scrolling through this forum I saw the title of this thread and thought, "Great, someone is doing a great McFlibbish!"

Then I looked across at who started the thread and saw it was indeed McFlibbish who was tormenting this Lad.

Great work McFlibbish, seems sending lads to the WU is just like riding a bike - you never forget how to do it. You are the man!!!!

bow_down

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