Barely Legal Mugus: The End (5/16 update)

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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 4:35 pm

Hmmm. Not one, but two 'sisters'. Let's see what happens when Larry comes down with a case of "jungle fever"!

Quote:

Dearest One,

Good day and how are you today? I hope fine? Permit us to inform you of
our desire of asking you to be a guardian or foster parent to us and
then
help us out in what we are about to tell you.

I\'m Larisa Ama (16) and have an Elder sister Virginie (1 Cool

. We are the
children of Late Mr. & Mrs. Joseph U. Ama. Our father was a very
wealthy
cocoa merchant here in Abidjan, the economic capital of Cote D\'Ivoire.
He was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their
outings
on a business trip. Our mother died when we where babies.
Before the death of our father on Sept. 2004 in a private hospital here
in Abidjan, he secretly called us by his bed side and told us that he
has
the sum of($8.200,000) deposited in a suspense account in one of the
big
banks here in Abidjan. He told us that he used my sister\'s name
(Virginie)
as the next of Kin in depositing the money.

He then strongly advised us not to seek for assistance in the
investment
of the money from his lawyer nor any of his friend here but to seek for
a foreign partner from a country of our choice (outside our
country,Cote
D\'Ivoire) that willl assist us in the wise investment of the money.We
have
since left the money in the bank with the view of our making use of it
for
investment purposes after our education carrier here. But as you may be
already aware by now, our country is presently at political crises.

For this urgly development in this country, we have now decided to take
quick actions and have this money transferred out of this country
before
it is too late to do that.Because of this we are honorably seeking your
assistance in the following ways:

(1) To serve as a guardian to us and then assist us transfer the money
into
your bank account. (2) To make arrangement for us to come over to your
country
to further our education and then settle there parmanently. If you
accept
to stand as our guardian or foster parent to us, we need not discuss on
any percentage with you as you have to see the whole money as yours and
then assist us invest it. But if you still want a percentage, we are
willing
to offer you, 20 % of the total money as compensation for your
assistance.
Please tell us if you feel the percentage we offered is not ok by you.

No matter what your decision may turn out to be, please we beg you to
keep
this highly secret for our safety, as we believe that those that killed
our Daddy are still after us. Please reply us through our alternative
email
box ([email protected])

Thanks and God bless you .

Best regards,
Larisa/ Virginie Ama.

I reply...

Quote:

Hello you darling girls;

I am very interested in helping you sweethearts out. My name is Larry Flynt, publisher of such fine magazines as Hustler and Barely Legal. Please let me know what to do to help.

Love,
Larry Flynt,
CEO and Publisher,
Flynt Publications, Inc.
Hustler Properties, LLC

Quote:

Dear Larry,

We thank you for your quick response to our call for help,we thank you also for you kindness and concern towards our situation.When we get your mail this morning,we are happy that at last GOD has anwsered our prayers for months.Our believe is that your response to our call for help is GOD's answer to our prayer for many months.We want you to know that GOD is on our side and that victory is ours.We are want you to know that we are now seeing you as our guardian and the most important thing we need from you is to see us as part of your family and do what ever you can to your biological family to us as well.We are very optimistic and we know that so many good things will come your way as you have decided to help the orphans.

Meanwhile,we will also like you to assure us that you will be honest with us and also give us your words of assurance that you will not take advantage that the whole money will be comming to your account to cheat us since we are putting all our trust on you.Please,do not be angry or feel that we don't trust you,but please try to understand the reason why we are saying all this kind of things is that this money is the only thing our late father left for us and it is our hope of survival in future.

After giving us the necessary assurance,then we will move to the next step which is the transfer proceses.We will like you to send to us your phone number so that we will call you and hear from you because it will give us a great joy if we hear your voice over phone.We are sending to you our individuall pictures for you to see us better and we will love to have your too.We would want to inform you here to please understand this will involve your moral and financial commitments.It is certainly in our own interest that we are letting you know if this.We have made serveral contacts with the bank where the money is deposited by our late father before we contacted you.Our dream is to come to your country and continue our life with you so please sir,we will also like you to hasten up because we are tired of staying in this country due to the on going political crisis as you may rightly know.

We are eargerly waiting to hear from you again.
Thanks and God bless you.
Larisa / Virginie

Larry wants to start drilling in their fertile Nigerian wetlands Twisted Evil

Quote:

Virginie and Larisa:

I was so happy to hear from you two girls! I hope all is ok in your country (which one was it again?) right now, because I know the standard way of political transition in Africa usually involved armed conflict and not hanging chads. I also have to say that God has definately answered my prayers after seeing your pictures.

I am so flattered that you want to see me as your biological father, even though my skin is as white as the newly driven snow. It doesn't matter, because all that really matters is love my dear. Be assured that I completely understand your need for the utmost trust in this matter. After all, I'm just some random rich American you met on the internet, so you don't know yet at this point what kind of man you will be dealing with. But let me assure you, you and your sister were destined to meet me.

You may always call me on my phone at 206-495-6510. If I'm not available, it will go to my voicemail, which I frequently check.

I feel so fortunate that you beautiful, vivacious young women have chosen me to be your helper.

Love always,
Larry Flynt,
CEO and Publisher,
Flynt Publications, Inc.
Hustler Properties, LLC

Its always God and money with these scammers. I'd rather just get straight to the dirty talk.

Quote:

Dear Larry,

Good day to you sir,How are you and your precious family over there ?,we hope that all is well with you.We recieved your message this afternoon with happiness in our hearts.We thank you for your assurance and willingness to help us to be with you and quick transfer of this money to your account.We are very happy because we know that our problems will soon be over.We want you to know that we are not so much interested in this money because we are totally handling it to you to invest and manage it in the best way that it will favour all of us equally.We want you to know that we are seeing you as our GOD sent and we want you to see us as part of your family.

Our major concern is to further our education when we come to USA.For the fast process of the transfer of this money,we went to the bank this morning to get their full contact information so that you can contact them immediately.We have already informed them about you as our guardian and possible respient of this money.

The details are as follows:

BANK DIRECTOR:Mr. michel lafont
BANK NAME:banque internationale pour le comlmerce et l'industies en cote d'ivoire(BICICIC)
Phone number :00225 06 016597 or 00225 06 050376.
BANK EMAIL: [email protected]

Please contact the bank and give them the informations where the money will be transfered and get back to us.Do this immediately because life is not easy for us as a result of the political crises that is going on here.We find it difficult to feed.

We wait for your response.

Thank you and God bless

Larisa / Virginie.

Quote:

Dearest Larisa and Virginie:

I am so glad to hear that things are coming together with your bank. You kind wishes prove to me that you two are as beautiful in your souls as you are in your bodies. However, I must tell you that I have no "family" per se. My late wife, Althea died about 20 years ago and I have never remarried. However, I would love for you and your sister to come live with me in the US. I would treat you two so well, just like the princesses you are. Tell me, are either of you two married?

I will send my information to the bank soon so that all our modalities are in place. If you can, my dears, please send me more pictures of your lovely selves. I could just stare wistfully at the pictures you have sent me all day.

If you need anything, and I mean anything at all, you just let me know.
Love,
Larry

Quote:

Dear Larry,

Good day to you sir,How are you and your business ?,we pray and hope that all is well you.We are happy to recieve your message this morning and we are happy that you are willing to help us to come out of this hurrible country of ours.We ask God to keep you strong and healthy untill we come to meet you.We are very sorry to hear about your wife.You are such a principled man to have stayed up till now without get into another marriage.We both are not yet married and has not thought about it.Our major concern and worry is how to further our education when we come to meet with you.

See the attached picture is our picture which you requested.We never wanted to send the pictures but we want to show you that we are real and we are being honest with you.Please that is the only picture that we have with us.The city is not safe to move arround now and killings are taking place everyday otherwise we would have love to go and take a more decent picture for you.We are begging you to please speedy things up by contacting the bank immediately so that the process of the transfer will start proper.

We want you to know that we are seeing you now as our gurdian and the only person that matters in our life because we have no one else to run to for help.Our condition is getting worse as the day goes by and that's why you have to hasten up please.We can hardly feed but that does not bother us now,all we want is to live this place within the shortest possible time.

We are anciously waiting to hear from you soon.

Thank you and God bless.

Best wishes from

Larisa / Virginie

Wow! They are getting progressively more and more naked by the day! KICK ASS!!! Unfortunately for the girls, I don't reply for about 10 days due to an unfortunate accident where I was forced to go to Florida, lay on the beach and drink lots of margaritas. Please don't worry about me, everybody. I'm much better now that I am back home and the weatherman says its going to be raining for the next 3 days.

Quote:

Dear Larry,

Compliments of the season to you,How are you and how is your business ?,we hope that all is well with you.Dear sir,we write to know why we have not heard from you for days now and you know how important this is to us and what we have at stake with you.This demands for constant communication so that we can paasing information to each other.We also want to know if you have contacted the bank about the transfer of the money.Please we are very much worried about this because it urgent and important to us.It is our life and hope in the future.

We want you to know that transfering this money and living this country is very important to us and it also demands urgent attention.Our condition to not encouraging due to the crises going on here.So please hasten up immediately if you are serious to help us.

We are ancious to hear from you.

Thank you and God bless.

Best wishes from

Larisa / Virginie.

Quote:

Dearest Larry,

We are so much happy to hear from you once again.Here is The word of God that we want to share with you and we hope that you will wellcome and meditate on it daily.This is what we can afford to give you this festive period.The attached is also another gift that we added to it.May the almighty GOD bless you richly in JESUS NAME - AMEN

Abandonment is one of the greatest losses a human may experience. True, there are other losses that can scar us. Coming home to find we�ve been robbed produces a feeling of violation, particularly if the robbery includes the loss of objects we associate with our past. And we all know children whose lives were dreadfully unsettled by the loss of a parent or sibling. Obviously human loss is greater than loss of a television or a DVD player. Indeed, the loss of a television might not be such a bad thing.
In the longer version of the reading from St. John�s Gospel, we meet Mary Magdalene in the garden. She�s weeping bitterly. She has lost the most important person in her life. �They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.�

There�s a double tragedy here. Jesus, her beloved, is dead. She can�t even find his body. She can�t spend a few minutes with his body, mourning, remembering, crying, loving.

We know very little about Mary. Did she have living parents or brothers and sisters? Usually, in those days, an extended family existed, ready and willing to close around a bereaved member in love and support. True, she had the fellowship of Jesus� family, and her new family, Jesus� followers. But at this moment, in the garden, she was unable to reach out to anyone else. �They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.�
In an alternative Gospel for today, we are told that Mary had not only seen the place where he laid, but was told to tell the disciples to go to Galilee to meet Jesus there. There�s the hope. There�s the teaching. But neither hope nor teaching were enough. Mary weeps.

Through her tears Mary sees someone who she thinks is a gardener. Those of us who love gardens and gardening know what a special place a garden may be. Gardens are a place to recover peace. Maybe a gardener can help Mary. But in answer to a repeated question about where she can find a corpse, the �gardener� says, �Mary!�

When we were baptized, the priest used our names as he poured water over our heads. There was a time when the priest asked the parents and godparents to �name this child.� Being named by a loved one can be a deeply emotional moment. We may even turn to our lover and say, �I love you to say my name.�

But hearing her name, �Mary,� and seeing the empty tomb didn�t help Mary Magdalene, or didn�t touch her deeply. Evidence, or even good theology, doesn�t always touch us. We can accept the evidence as being pretty good. We can recite the Creed and say, �On the third day he rose again.� Perhaps we are not quite convinced, and yet we are good church members, and our loving church welcomes us in our doubts.

Today, the church invites us in deeper. We are invited to be honest. In a real sense, the losses of abandonment we may have suffered are to be faced. It�s all right to cry. It�s all right to go into the garden and weep�or wherever we go to be alone and private. Perhaps we still mourn the loss of a loved one by death or separation or divorce; or perhaps we live in discontented union with someone we seem to have lost or are, indeed, losing. In our loneliness it may be possible to believe in a present Jesus. How can we believe in a loving God when that God allowed us to lose our loved one�or even our job? It is entirely one thing to tackle the evidence and the theology. It is quite another to hear the name we were given when we became children of God in our baptisms. It is not accidental that baptism is connected with Easter.

Our garden may be this church. Jesus promised to be in the garden of the Eucharist as we receive and take Holy Communion. As a piece of bread is offered and a sip of wine is given, Jesus names us. In that naming, as he communes with us, enters us all together, perhaps in the stillness we hear our name, our special name, the name we own, not just in terms of a human family, but in terms of our eternal family. When we hear our name, then evidence and theology may well fall into place. After all, evidence and theology may seem cold and lifeless. Yet when we hear our name, eat the Bread of Heaven and drink the Cup of Salvation, we are able to return home, wiping our tears and gladly sharing out belief that the Risen Lord has found us in our garden, and will be with us always and forever.

It is Easter Sunday, and Easter Sunday takes strong words. When your Easter comes, it will take strong words to describe the good and beautiful things that God has prepared for you. Amen.

The pictures they attached were various religious clip-art type of things. I was sincerely hoping they would celebrate Easter by rubbing baby oil over each other's nubile bodies. Oh well.

Quote:

Dearest Larisa and Virginie:

I know that you all may have given up hearing from me, but rest assured that I am back. I have spent the last week and a half dynamite fishing for manatees in the Florida Everglades. That vacation really recharged my batteries so to speak. My dears, I would love to contact your bank for you, but I'm afraid that I don't have any information concerning the bank. Please send that to me so that I can help get you out of that hellish country.

The last pictures that you sent of yourselves were wonderful. Both of you are showing a little more skin in those photos, and I heartily approve. You are both strikingly beautiful and I must admit that I am beginning to have strong feelings for you both. I cannot wait to bring you to America so that the three of us can live and love together. I haven't felt this way since Althea died all those years ago. I know it must be a hardship, but please, please let me see more of you two. Your beauty makes my life in this wheelchair seem not so bad at all. A picture of you two kissing would really bring joy to my day.

Also, your Easter wishes were very kind. I hope your Easter was wonderful as well. I already think of you as my two chocolate bunnies.

Love,

Larry

Larry Flynt,
CEO and Publisher,
Flynt Publications, Inc.
Hustler Properties, LLC

I still haven't quit laughing at this next one. Those mugus and their delicate sensibilities!!!!

Quote:

Dear Larry,

Good day to you sir,How are you and your business sir ?,we hope that everything thing is moving well with you.We are very happy to hear from you once again for the one week.Honestly we thought that we have lost your contact with us.But we thank GOD for bringing you back to us.

We are very sorry that we cannot give you what you requested from us in respect of of sending a picture of where we both are kissing each other.To be honest with you sir,We are very shocked that you are requesting for such from us.It�s really surprising to us.There is something we want you to know sir,despite the fact that we sent you aour picture showing our body does not mean that we are not responsible.We are devoted christians and we are presently living in the house of GOD.We sent the last picture to you because that was the only picture that was left with us.We are not supose to send such kind of picture to you in the reall sence and we mentioned it when we sent the picture to you.Please don�t think that we are prostitutes who can do anything for money.

What you are requesting from us is against our christian life,it is also against the word of GOD,it is also against our principles and against our culture.Here in Africa it is an abormination.We are sorry if we have offended you in any way sir.We did not mean to hurt you or insult you but if you have to reason with us you will understand what we are saying here.

You can still help us without asking for all this but we have tried to certisfy you the way we can and cannot go beyond this.If you honestly mean to help us you will not ask us to send you another picture no matter the type.You have put fear now in us if actually you want to help us because you have really put fear in us now.We must confess this to you now.

Please sir,we are begging you now in the name of GOD to tell us if you are really serious to help us or not.This is really important to us because this is our life and wet to know your final position. If your response is yes the we can proceed to the next step which is getting the full contact of the bank and sending it across to you so that you can contact them.

We await to hear from you soon.

Wishing you all the best.

From

Larisa / Virginie.

Hah! Incestous lesbian kissing is an abormination in Africa! I really need to be much more sensitive to the cultural diffrences between us. Don't worry, though. Apparently wire fraud is still within the acceptable moral bounds of the 419 sect of Roman Catholicism. Maybe I should have just asked for a picture of Larisa going down on Virginie, since kissing seems to be a problem. As much as I hate to do so, I should probably backtrack a little to keep the laughs coming.

Quote:

Dearest Virginie and Larisa:

Please forgive me for being so overtly sexual with you. I have been a very, very lonely man since my wife died. I haven't felt the touch of a woman in over 20 years, and I got more than just a little bit excited at the sight of your supple body. I don't mean to offend your deep Christian morals at all, so I must ask that you forgive me. In America, such things are usually not considered an abormination and it just shows how insensitive to other cultural deficiencies I have become in my isolation, without a wife or lover. Please, I never meant to imply that you two are cock-crazy prostitutes. That is the last thing I would ever think of you two kind girls.

If you can forgive me, then of course I still want to help you and your beautiful sister. Let me know if you still want to send me the bank information.

Lastly, I must ask if this transaction is going to be 100% risky-free?

Love,
Larry

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 4:11 pm

Wow! They've found it in their hearts to forgive me.

Quote:

Dearest Larry,

Good morning to you sir.How are you and your business ?we hope that everything is okay with you.It't very nice to hear from you once again sir.We recieved you mail yesterday with a great joy in our hearts.We honestly have nothing against you sir,we are only trying to put you on the right direction on who extactly we are.We are from a very humble family whcih we have lost both our mother and our father the only joy in our lives.After reading your mail yesterday GOD provided an opportunity for us to call you on phone which we did but you are not there to pich our call.You left your phone on the answering machine.We really wants to wanted to call you and hear your voice.

Between tomorrow and next tomorrow we shall be going to the bank to get their full contact information which we shall be sending to you when we get it so that you can contact them.But we want you sir to give us a concret asurance that you will not dispapoint us in making sure that we are safe in your hands when we come to meet with you and that you will do all that necessary untill the money is transfer to your norminated account.As soon as we recieve this assurance from you the we shall proceed immediately.

Once again we are letting you know that we have nothing against.After going through your message we understand how you feel and we have decided to proceed with you as soon as you give us your word as we requested.

We are anciously waiting to hear from you soon.

Thanks and May the almighty GOD bless you abundantly.

Wishing you the best from

Larisa / Virginie.

Quote:

Dearest Virginie and Larisa:

I am writing to you two to let you know that you may have the greatest assurance in me. You see, despite my confinement to this wheelchair, I am a very successful businessman who has made my fortune in publishing and media. In fact, I have just financed a very successful all-male movie set in World War II starring Stephen St. Croix, Sean Michaels and Peter North called "Shaving Ryan's Privates." This video is flying off the shelves all over the country right now and the profits are going straight to my retirement fund. I can't keep at this job forever, you know.

I have handled great amounts of money before and can do so with all honesty now. You have my sacred word that I will treat this money with the utmost care and professionalism.

I am arranging for the guest house at my estate to be readied for you and your sister to come to America. Virginie, I am having your room done up with blue Laura Ashley accessories. Larisa, your room shall be a feminine burgundy color with Ralph Lauren furnishings. I hope these will be acceptable to you both. I must ask if either one of you likes bukkake?

Much love,
Larry Flynt

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 5:34 pm

Quote:

Dearest Larry,

Good day to you sir,How are you and your business over there ?,we hope that all is okay with you.We are very overwhelmed to recieve your message.We are very flattered for all that you have in place for us when we come to AMERICA.We also thank you so much for your assurance and we promise are promising you that you will have nothing to regret for choosing to help the orphans and GOD will surely reward you because he said that blessed is he that heareth the cry of the orphan and come for his rescue.Because of us we are telling you now to espect more blessings from GOD because we know the GOD that we serve.

By monday or tuesday next week we shall be going to the bank to get their full contact information which we shall be sending to you immedaitely we return so that you can contact them immediately.Once again we are saying thank you for all you have in stock for us.We are very grateful to GOD and to you for being there for us.

We look forward to meeting with you in AMERICA.

We await your response sir.

Thank you and have a fun filled weekend.

Wishing you all the best from

Larisa / Virginie.

Whatever. I just want to get in your pants.

Quote:

Dearest Larry,

Good day to you sir,How are you and our precious family over there ?,we hope that all is well with you.We are just returning from the bank as we told you during the weekend that we shall be going there to get their full contact.So we are writing to give you the contact of the bank so that you can contact them immediately.We thank you for your assurance and willingness to help us to be with you and quick transfer of this money to your account.We are very happy because we know that our problems will soon be over.We want you to know that we are not so much interested in this money because we are totally handling it to you to invest and manage it in the best way that it will favour all of us equally.We want you to know that we are seeing you as our GOD sent and we want you to see us as part of your family.

Our major concern is to further our education when we come to your country.For the fast process of the transfer of this money,we went to the bank this morning to get their full contact information so that you can contact them immediately.We have already informed them about you as our guardian and possible respient of this money.

The details are as follows:

BANK DIRECTOR: Mr. Michel Lafont
BANK NAME:banque internationale pour le comlmerce et l'industies en cote d'ivoire(BICICICI)
Phone number: 00225 06 016597 or 00225 06 050376.
BANK EMAIL: [email protected]
BANK DIRECTOR EMAIL: [email protected]

The diector of the bank gave us his own personal email contact so we decied to add it because we met with him personally and he have assured us that he will ensure that everything is concluded successfuly.Maybe you can also write to him personally.

Please contact the bank and give them the informations where the money will be transfered and get back to us.Do this immediately because life is not easy for us as a result of the political crises that is going on here.We are finding life very difficult.

We wait for your response.

Thank you and God bless

Quote:

Dearest Larry,

Good day to you sir.How is everything sir,we believe that all is well with you.Sir we write to know how you ae doing and also to know if you have contacted the bank.We have not heard from you since we sent the bank contact to you so we became worried.Please we want to know what is happening and also let us know if you have contacted the bank.Please sir we want you to know that we are suffering here and we are hoping that you will hasten up in what ever you want to do to help us to live this hurrible country.We hope that you will understand our condition and act fast.You are our only hope and GOD sent.Please we are especting looking forward to you to fullfill your word of assurance.

We urgently await your response.
Thanks and GOD bless.
Best wishes from
Larisa / Virginie.

Obviously I had better things to do than bait. These girls need to just relax or oil each other up and wrestle... I'm not picky.

Quote:

Hello Michael.

I am Larry Flynt, and I am friends with Larisa and Virginie. They have money in your bank that should be moved to my account. Please let me know the outcome of this transaction.

Larry Flynt

Quote:

Dearest Virginie and Larisa:

I have sent an email to the bank today, asking to move the money from your account to mine. Unfortunately, it seems that the bank is run by the French. As you well know, the French are malodorous treacherous perverts who don't eat pork because it reminds them of their parents. I don't trust this LaFunt character one damn bit, but lets play it by ear and see how it goes.

I want you girls to know that I have made every arrangement for your arrival into the Unites States. I will hand feed you strawberries dipped in the finest chocolate and you shall sip only the best champagne between your full, pouty succulent lips. I will make sure your every need is attended to. I must say, after hearing you, that your voice is as beautiful as your body. I shall make sure that you are satisfied in every respect.

Deepest love,
Larry

Me so horny! Hopefully their "Christian" sensiblities aren't too upset by that last email, but we'll see!

Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 11:48 pm

So good to see that you survived those horrible margarita's there Larry, I bet it was touch and go for a while... Laughing

_________________
Cerebral Palsy Forum

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 4:24 pm

These girls are either dumber than a sack of doorknobs, or they are completely frigid. How else to explain their total lack of response to Larry's rogueish charm?

Quote:

Dearest Larry,

Good day to you sir.How are you and your business ?,we ave no doubt that all is well.Many thanks to you for your message to us.We are so much happy to hear from you this morning.We are very happy that you have contacted the bank and we believe that they will perform their duty as they supose to by getting back to you in time.You are very correct about the bank.The bank is run by the French as you may already know that our country is a french speaking country.The bank director Mr.Michel LAfont might not be as bad as you may think because we met personaly with him and he gave us their contact to us and from his aproach to us we believe that he must be a nice man and good enough he speaks english.Sir,please we are suggesting that you call him on phone and speak with him to know how fast the money can be transfered so that we can come over as quickly as possible.We are now looking forward to coming to America to be with you possibly before the end of this month immediately the money is transfered to your account.Once again,we thank you and we appreciate all your efforts and arrangements to ensure that we live a new life.

We are waiting to hear from you soon.
Wishing all the best as always.
From: Larisa / Virginie.

I hear from Pepe LePeu at the Bitchy Bank!

Quote:

FROM: BANQUE INTERNATIONALE POUR LE COMMERCE
ET L'INDUSTRIE EN COTE D'IVOIRE.
ADDRESS:26 AV. DALAFOSSE,01 BP 1298
ABIDJAN 01

ATTN:MR LARRY FLYNT.

SIR,

REF: REMITTANCE ADVICE ON TRANSFER OF US$8.2MILLION INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

WE WRITE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECIEPT OF YOUR MAIL INTRODUCING YOURSELF AS AN ASSISTANT TO MISS LARISA AND VIRGINIE AMA.WE HAVE NOTED DOWN THE CONTENT OF YOUR MAIL WITH INTEREST.THIS IS BECAUSE THE APPLICANT HAVE FORMALLY REQUESTED FOR THE RELEASE OF THEIR LATE FATHER'S FUND DEPOSITED WITH THIS BANK WHICH WAS STATED ABOVE.

THE APPLICANT HAVE FORMALLY MENTIONED YOU TO US AS THE POSSIBLE RECIPIENT OF THIS FUND IN YOUR COSTUDY ON BEHALF OF THE APPLICANT.IN THIS CASE,YOU ARE HEREBY REQUESTED TO SEND TO THIS BANK YOUR VALID BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS WHERE THE FUND WILL BE TRANSFERED.
MEAWHILE,BE ADVISED TO INFORM THE APPLICANT,TO PROVIDE THIS OFFICE WITH THE FOLLOWING IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS:

1)COURT CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE,
2)AFFIDEVIT OF FUND CLAIM.

NOTE THAT THESE IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS SHALL BE OBTAINED FROM THE COTE D'IVOIRE MINISTRY OF JUSTICE AND SHOULD BE FORWARDED TO THIS OFFICE FOR THE PROCESSES OF TRANSFERING THE FUND. ALSO NOTE THAT THESE DOCUMENTS ARE THE LEGAL PAPERS THAT WILL EMPOWER US TO CARRY OUT OUR DUTY LEGITIMATELY.

EXPECTING YOUR EARLY RESPONSE.

YOURS FAITHFULLY
MR MICHEL LAFONT
DIRECTOR BICICICI
TEL: +225 06 05 03 76 OR +225 06 01 65 97

Quote:

Dearest Larry,

Good day to you.How are you today and your business ?,we hope that you are swimming in the ocean of good health.We just decided to write to you this weekend and to wish you a happiest moment this weekend.We here are alive but not feeling too healthy as Larisa my younger sister is not feeling too well and was now at the hospital recieving treatments.She developed a a stomach problem last night.Thank GOD for the help of the church where we are hiding as refugees who have taken us as part of their family.We also want to know if the bank has contacted you as espected from them.This is really giving us a concern and secondly our condition is not good at the moment and it's really bothering us a lot.We have told our pastor all about you and what have arranged for us when we arrive in America and he told us to inform you to call him or write to him so that both of you will have a word together.Honestly he has been very good to us ever since we ran to this church for safty and he has been our guide and advising us on what to do.
Pleasewe will like you to call or write him through this email:
[email protected]
phone number: 00225 07 59 94 51.

He will be very Glad to hear from you and we are also eager to hear from you.

Thank you and do pleasehave a pleasant weekend.
Best wishes from your's
Larisa / Virginie.

I'm not so much "swimming in the ocean of good health" as I am "swimming in an ocean of my own waste." Such is the fate of a wheelchair-bound pornography magnate.

Anyway, its high time that things took a definite turn for the sexy when it comes to the girls.

Quote:

Dearest Larisa and Virginie:

Thanks so much for asking about my weekend; it was pretty wild with Vince Neil, Savannah, Asia Carrera, Tiffany Minx and Jenna Jameson over. You can imagine the mess that the groundskeeper had to deal with the next day, I'm sure. As for my health, things couldn't be better. My rash has quit weeping and the discharge is nearly all cleared up!

I'm so sorry to hear about Larisa's stomach problem; but don't worry, she's young and I'm sure she'll pull through like a champ. Just don't let the doctors there in that armpit of a country try and convince you that she needs leechs or some shit like that. You girls definately need to get to the USA pronto. I'm friends with a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills who can put in some world-class implants; I think Larisa is going to need those more than you, Virginie.

I did hear back from the bank this weekend. Apparently there are some documents from the Ministry of Swift Justice and Public Health that we need to get. One is an affadavid and the other is some kind of ceritficate of withholding, like a US W-2 or 1040EZ form I imagine.

Virginie, I have been thinking about you and your sister all weekend. I must admit that I am still very smitten with you. I want you here, safe in my arms while Barry White and Keith Sweat play on my stereo. Girl, I know you've been hurt before. I can tell it. But please believe me when I say that your Larry will take you to the next level of love. You are my African goddess, and I will ensure that you have everything you desire in the USA. I want to kiss your full, pouty lips and have my hands all over your silky skin. Damn baby, you're so fine.

As you wish, I will write to your pastor and give him a shout out. Please take very good care of yourself and your sister. I hope to hear from you soon.

Love,
Larry

"Dear Pastor, your little angels are my little sluts." Well, hopefully it does come to that point eventually.

Quote:

Dear Pastor Daniel Kin

Virginie told me to give you a shout out. She said that she has told you everything about me. Well, let me just say that I am prepared to satisfy her every need and want. You see, I have made quite a bit of money in the publishing business, using enterprise solutions to leverage a whole new marketing paradigm with e-business synergy!

I feel so very deeply for those girls, and I want them out of your godforsaken country as soon as possible. I heard that there are a lot of French people there, and that is not good for anybody. Their cheese smells like dirty feet and they sell their children for wine. In any event, I assure you that I am 100% risky-free and only want to work in the best interest of the girls.

Thanks,
Larry Flynt

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 4:29 pm

Quote:

I feel so very deeply for those girls, and I want them out of your godforsaken country as soon as possible. I heard that there are a lot of French people there, and that is not good for anybody. Their cheese smells like dirty feet and they sell their children for wine.

Hilarious! Laughing

Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:05 pm

I swear to God. These chicks don't get it. They really don't. Larry is hot-blooded. Check it and see. I've got a fever of 103. C'mon baby, do you do more than scam? I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded.

Quote:

Dearest Larry,

Good day to you sir.We are so much happy to hear that you spend your weekend very well.We thank you also for writing to us and thank you for your encouragment over the health condition of Larisa.From your message we understand that the bank is requesting for something from us but we do not understand it from the way you wrote it.We could not really understand what it was but we shall be going to the bank tomorrow moning to find out what exactly they want from us and we will immediately get back to you as soon as we return from the bank.We want to thank you for your sweet words that is lifting our spirit and we can't wait to be with you soon.We are begging to please co-operate with the bank in what ever they want so that this money will be transfered soon to you to enable us start our plans of coming over to meet you.This money belongs to all of us and we know that the bank will want the money to remain with them for as long as possible.They cannot worry us to come and have our money because the money is yielding a lot of interest from them so it is we that will do what they want from us quickly so that they will have no excuse than to transfer the money to you.Thats why we are begging you to take this very serious for our sake so that before the end of this month we will be with you.So sir,we shall write you tomorrow when we come back from the bank.

Especting to hear from you.

Thank you and God bless.

Best wishes

Larisa / V irginie.

There are getting to be quite a few characters in this bait. There's the dirty French banker, and now this ass-dagger. Maybe they'll ask me to write to their gynecologist next.

Quote:

My dear Larry Flynt,

Greetings in the name of almighty God.

I am writting to you expressing my appreciation for your
brotherly disposition to render a humanitarian service of
guardian/foster parents to MISS LARISA and VIRGINIE AMA who
have been in our costudy for some months now.Your
assistance regarding everything is welcome and i hereby
state as follows with my intergrety as an ordained man of
God:Sorry for not calling you by your name because my
children did not tell me what is your name so please
confirm.
1) I have known MISS LARISA and VIRGINIE AMA for nearly one
year now since they ran into our sanctuary as refugees as a
result of mystrious circumstances surrounding their fathers
death in 2004.Ever since they have been here,they have
proved to be good christians both in character and
conduct.I have not found them wanting in areas of good
christian conduct.

2) My enquiries have taken me to their own part of the city
where i found out that their father was actually an
enterprising marchant and was poisoned to death during his
business trip.Also he was a cocoa machandise

3) I aprove of them relocating,basically on three reasons
(i) Because of the political situation here as you rightly
know,it is no longer safe to continue to keep people who
came to seek shelter here.(ii)Because of the circumstances
of their fathers death, (iii) Because they have found the
kind of person whom they have been dreaming of:someone who
has fear of God and whom his or her family will welcome
very well as they have told me about you.
However, i have to assure you that one day you will call me
and thank me for my job well done.I have brought them in a
manner that if not because of the above reasons,i would
have not let them depart from me because they are of great
value to me in this ministry.

Finally,i want to obtain your word of guarantee in any form
that these children shall be safe in your costudy to
continue their lives as normal human beeings.While you have
done this, i urge you to feel very free to render what ever
humanitarian help you can to these children.*

May the peace of the lord God be with you and your family
as i expect your call.

Best Regards
Rev Pastor Daniel.
Phone number: 00225 07599451

For those of you who are wondering, apparently I really am being "scammed" by a girl. She left me a voicemail on my K7 a few days ago. She has a pretty sexy voice, I must admit. Too bad she is probably 5'2", 250 pounds and doesn't shave her armpits.

Quote:

Dearest Larry,

Good day to you sir.Weknow that all is well with you.We are writing to tell you the out come of our visit to the bank today and we told you that we shall write to you and let you know the out come.As we informed you earlier that we are going to the bank today for them to tell us what they are requesting from us as you wrote in your message to us.The director of the bank Mr.Michel Lafont told us that they informed you to tell us that we should bring to them two important documents which he mentioned as COURT CLEARNCE CERTIFICATE and AFFIDAVIT OF FUND CLAIM and he said that the documents must be obtain from the ministry of justice.We told him that we do not know where the ministry is and we begged him to direct us to the ministry so that we can go there.So he instructed a lawyer from bank to go with us.

So we went with the bank official car and when we got to the ministry the lawyer asked some officials in the ministry about the office where the documents will be issued to us.But the officer in charge of issuing those documents told us that it will cost us 2.500,000CFA The lawyer that went with us asked the man to convert the money into dollars which he said that it's equivalent to USD$2,700. We pleaded to them if they can reduce the amount for us but they told us that this is the fixed price to issue those kind of documents.
On our way coming back,we went back to the bank to see if they can give us some money from our late father's money.They told us that no body have access to that money unless we submit those documents,they also said that money was depositted in a suspence account and it is those documents that will state that we are the children of Mr.John Ama and we have come to their bank to collect our late fathers money.
They also requested for the Death certificate of our late father which we have told them that we shall bring it to them by tomorrow.Please sir, the problem we are having now is that we do not have any money with us right now.We have been crying since we came back but we decided to write you and tell you about our it.Please sir,we are sorry for any inconvinences this might cost you,we are humbly begging you to assist us in the name of GOD,to assist us at this hour of need.We do not have any other person to seek for this help from here and we can not go and sell ourself by going into prostitution GOD FORBID!!.

Please sir,it is never our intention to ask you for any money but the problem is beyond us for now so please please,we really need your help at this time so we can go and get this documents the bank required before they will transfer the money.

Please sir ,we know that you are capable of this so please we want you to send the money to us through western union money transfer so that we can get the money quickly and get the documents and submit to the bank so that they will transfer the money. Send it through my name Miss. Virginie Ama nationality Abidjan - Cote D'Ivoire West Africa.About our address where we are staying now in the church.The address is REDEEMERS BIBLE CHURCH :22bp 8943 Abidjan 22bp Marcury Cote D'Ivoire.

We are waiting to hear from you.
Thanks and God bless you
Larisa / Virginie.

Note: Sir,the bank also told us that they are still especting you to send your bank account details where you want the money to be transfered and we are also begging you to do this quickly as you can.

We can't have her working as a prostitute, GOD FORBID! Hahahaha! The girl's got a sense of humor, I'll give her that! For no particular reason whatsoever, I decide to give the banker a 10,000 megaton slap.

Quote:

Dear Scheming Frog Boy:

Hi there you gaullic asshole. How dare you charge poor little Virginie and Larisa Ama $2700 to release documents that you fucking well know they have every right to recieve without charge. What kind of fucking shithole bank do you run to charge such exorberant fees on those two supple orphans? I ought to have the Germans come down there and let you relive 1940, you french fried chickenshit pussy coward.

Look, bitch: give those girls the documents. We're not coming to save your ass like we did in 1944, you greasy-moustached Citroen-driving sack of merde.

You also never said that you wanted my bank information, cocksucker. Here it is. Don't fuck this up, hotshot.

Cornhole Credit Union
Acc#: 5769452356
No-Load IRA Savings Account

Larry Fucking Flynt

I've been entirely too coy with Larisa and Virginie. Its time to come to grips with it: my feelings are like diarrhea... I just can't hold them in!!!!

Quote:

Virginie and Larisa:

Baby, I don't want you to worry about the bank. I just sent them an email that they are going to take seriously. You just get your sweet little self over to the bank tomorrow, and the documents will be released in your favor. I could have told you that any outfit run by the French would do something so cold-hearted as to charge you for documents that are rightly yours. But don't concern yourselves over that, my nubian goddesses. That stinking frog, Michel LaFont shall not give you any more grief. I have taken care of everything.

Baby, I want you to know that I only think of you and your sister twice: night and day. I can't wait to have you here in the US. We shall sit on my porch swing and watch the sun go down. I shall serve you the finest champagne in only the most delicate crystal flutes. We shall hold each other and count the stars as they shine down on our love. I shall read you poetry while you lie your weary head on my lap. That's when I put my sting in you sideways. We will make sweet love all night as I caress your other pair of lips with my tongue. The next morning, I shall serve you the best Egg McMuffin to be had, along with a tall, cool diet Coke. Damn baby, you are so fine.

Love,
Larry Flynt

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Mar 2004 Posts: 207

plain Egg McMuffin or Sausage McMuffin?

My guess knowing Larry, it's sausage. No...kielbasa...yeah, that's it, a big fat kielbasa McMuffin.

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 7:25 pm

now I believe that the she is a she!

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 6:59 pm

This is only getting funnier. The head of the bank is none too pleased with my tone.

Quote:

FROM BANQUE INT'L

ABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE

ATTN:MR.LARRY FLYNT,

WE WRITE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECIEPT OF YOUR MAIL WITH THE INSULTIVE WAYS YOU USED TO THIS BANK.WE THOUGHT THAT THE APPLICANTS HAD A REPONSIBLE GUARDIAN OF WHOM WE THOUGHT THAT WECAN DO THIS TRANSACTION TO HELP THIS APPLICANTS BECAUSE OF THEIR SITUATION THEY FOUND THEM SELVES BUT WEHAVE DISCOVERED THAT YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE AND WE PITTY THIS YOUNG TEENAGE APPLICANTS WHO DON'T KNOW THE KIND OF MAN THEY HAVE BROUGHT TO THIS BANK.

YOU HAVE THE MIND TO INSULT EVEN THE BANK DIRECTOR WHO IS OVER 65 YEARS OF AGE AND HAS BEEN A BIG PILLARS TO THIS BANK FOR OVER 9 YEARS NOW.WE QUITE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE A NATURAL HATRED ON THE FRENCH BUT THAT IS BY THE WAY.YOU CLAIM TO BE AN ENGLISH MAN BUT YOU DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE MASSAGE THAT WE SENT TO YOU BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THE WEARE NOT ORIGINALLY ENGLISH BUT HERE IT SEEMS THAT WE UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN LAGUAGE THAN YOU.

IF YOU DID UNDERTAND ENGLISH VERY WELL,YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT THE DOCUMENTS REQUESTED IS NOT GOING TO BE OBTAINED FROM THE BANK BUT FROM THIS COUNTRY'S FEDERAL MINISTRY OF JUSTICE AND IT IS IN THE INTEREST OF THE APPLICANTS AND FOR RECORD PURPOSES TO AVOID SOME ELSE COMING NEXT TIME TO ASKED FOR THE RELEASE OF THE SAME FUND.

SO BE INFORMED THAT THIS DOCUMENTS MUST BE OBTAINED FROM THE MINISTRY OF JUSTICE HERE IN COTE D'IVOIRE AND WE CAN NOT RELEASE THE FUND WITHOUT THE LEGAL POWER TO DO SO.YOU MUST ALSO UNDERSTAND THE FUND IS NOT A PEANUT AND WE THE BANQUE BANK WORKS IN ACORDANCE WITH THE BANKING REGULATIONS THAT OVERSEAS THE BANKING BUSINESS IN COTE D'IVOIRE.

IF YOU CAN REFARE TO MR.LAFONT OF WHAT HAPPENED IN 1940 AND 1944 IT SHOWS HOW WICKED YOU CAN BE AND WE SHALL INFORM THE APPLICANTS NOT TO CONTINUE THIS TRANSACTION WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE CAPABLE OF KILLING THE INNOCENT GIRLS IF THE FUND IS RELEASED TO YOU.

IF THE ACCOUNT INFORMATION YOU SENT IS FROM A BANK THEN WE WANT YOU TO GO TO THAT BANK AND ASKED THEM HOW A LATE PERSON'S FUND IS BEING TRANSFERED TO ANOTHER ACCOUNT.YOU WILL HAVE TO GO AND LEAR HOW TO APPROACH PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS ISSUE.

THANK YOU

MANAGEMENT.

Virginie and Larisa are shocked. Shocked, I tell you! How could I talk to the bank officer like that? Good Lord, this is only getting funnier.

Quote:

Dearest Larry,

Good day to you.We write to tell you that we have gone to the bank and the we are very disapointed at what they told us.When we got to the bank today we are very lucky to meet with the Director of the bank who took us to his office.He sat us down and began to ask us questions about you.He asked us if we really know you very well and so many other questions.We are very surprised at the questions so we asked why all the question and he brough out the message you sent to the bank.To be honest with you we are very shocked and short of words.How could you write such a message to a bank.For Christ sake you have made things to be difficult for us.The documents they are requesting is for legal purposes acordint to them and they said it for our own interest and for legal backup because our father that deposited the money has Died and now that we want to claim it we have to go to the ministry aof justice to obtain those legal documents they requested before they can officially release the money to us and with those legal papers that we shall be presenting to them is also for their own record purposes in case somebody comes some day to ask for the same money.

We have to be that we don't like that letter you sent to the bank.The director showed us the letter and he asked us to go through it and we could not even finish reading it because the words is very dirty to use to some one.The director of that bank is very old and he really helped us the day we went to them to direct us to the Ministry of Justice which he did and even gave us a lawyer from the legal department of the bank to go with us in their official car.

Now we are very confused and don't know what to do because we are really affraid.Please get back to us and let us know what you have to doabout this because as far as we know the bank has done nothing wrong.If you really want to help us pleasesend us the money so that we can go to the Cote D'ivoire ministry of justice and obtain the documents so that we can submit them to the bank for the release of the money.We shall find a way to talk to the bank director because he is not happy with you.Hesaid you insulted him for no reason.Please we are asking you to handle this issue matturedly.

We are especting your response soonest.

Thanks and GOD bless

Best wishes from

Larisa / Virginie.

Its time to tell them. Its time to reveal the truth. Larry has some horrible inner demons inside that have been tearing him apart for years.

Quote:

Virginie:

Baby, please understand. I am not trying to jeapordize your and Larisa's life or health in any way. But when you sent me your email, about you crying when the bank wouldn't release those documents or your money to you, I absolutely blew a fuse, baby.

You see, nobody treats a friend of Larry Flynt like that. Especially if they are French. Baby, allow me to explain. When I was a small child, I went with my parents on a vacation to Paris. It was spring then, the sky was clear and the birds were singing. It was a beautiful day. I was happily strolling down the Champs D'Elyesses with my parents when a mime stepped out of an alleyway in front of us. Virginie, I was an innocent boy then. So of course, I laughed at his antics, watching him pretend he was in an invisible box. What I didn't realize was that soon, we were surrounded by mimes. They were all around us, in their invisible boxes. My parents held me close, fearing for our safety. I will never forget what happened next. The mimes then pulled out very real lead pipes and began beating my parents over the head. I watched as my father gasped for life underneath the merciless blows of the mime's bludgeons. My mother, mercifully, slipped into unconciousness before she began to bleed from her depressed skull fracture. I could do nothing, Virginie. All I could do was scream. Passersby just looked the other way as the mimes went through my mother's purse and my father's wallet. I held their bloody corpses tight, sobbing uncontrollably. The mimes then went in all diffrent directions, fleeing the scene of the carnage as quickly as they had appeared. A policeman with a thin moustache and small, beady eyes came along soon after. To me, covered in the blood of my own dead parents, it seemed like an eternity. I tried to explain what happened to him, but I can't speak French. The policeman stuck his nose in the air and said "En Francais, s'il vous plait." I cried out that I couldn't speak French, to which he replied "Ferme la bouche!!!" He took some notes in his little notebook and called for somebody on the radio. I sat down on the sidewalk and cried as I held my head in my hand. An ambulance came and took my parent's bodies. I tried to ask the police and the paramedics for help, but they just ignored me like I wasn't there. I kept crying, but the ambulance drove away. To this day, I have no idea where my parents were taken or if they were even buried. After the ambulance had gone, the policeman told me in perfect english where to find the American embassy. I looked down, to where the blood had saturated the sidewalk. The policeman quickly sauntered off down the street, leaving me alone in a strange city, with nowhere to turn for help. After seven days of going through garbage for food and eating the occasional rat that I captured, I found the American embassy. A friendly Marine gave me a blanket and a cup of hot cocoa and took me inside. The embassy made arrangements to get me sent back to relatives in the USA, and the secretaries inside watched over me like I was their own son. I returned to my home, orphaned and penniless.

So you see, Virginie, I hate the French more than you can begin to understand. And you can tell that sack of dog shit, Michael LaFont, that if I ever see him in person, I will personally remove his eyes with his own fountain pen. No muthafucka steps to me with that weak-ass shit without getting beatdown, know whutimsayin? And again, it came as no surprise to me that he won't let you two supple young things have access to your own money. He is a lying reptile. This afternoon, I'm thinking of calling up an old friend. Let's just say that Usman Bello and Larry Flynt go way back.

Baby, I will get the funds together to get you and your sexy sister out of that French-infested abcess of a country. Nobody should have to stay there.

Love,
Larry

The only French I really remember from high school was "ferme la bouche", because it was directed at me more often than not. God, I hated French with every fiber of my being. Very Happy

Maybe "Pastor Dan" (its really funny if you say it like Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump: "Pastor Dan! Pastor Dan! Ice cream!") can get further with Mr. LaFont?

Quote:

Dearest Pastor King Dan:

I must ask you a favor, King Dan. I know that this may seem to be a little controversial but I must ask this from you who loves Virginie and Larisa as much as I do. You see, there is a gentleman named Michel LaFont who is giving the girls a lot of stress and worry. He runs the bank where the girl's money is. The problem is that he won't release the funds to them without trying to squeeze a couple thousand dollars out of them in "fees". As you know, these girls barely have enough money to eat, much less pay off some corrupt beaucracy.

I ask that you send Mr. LaFont a message. Do you remember the movie "The Godfather"? I think Mr. LaFont might see to it that the girls are taken care of a little bit better if he finds the head of one of his goats in his bed tomorrow morning. I wish I could do this myself, but I can't get a flight to the Ivory Coast that quickly. I am more than willing to reward you for your time and effort, Pastor Dan. Perhaps $3000 should cover your time and expenses?

Of course, if Mr. LaFont doesn't come around to our way of thinking, he may have to meet with an unfortunate accident. I can't imagine that the police would be too interested in his disappearance, since it seems that the Ivory Coast is constantly teetering on the edge of a cannibalistic genocidal civil war anyway. A single missing beaurcrat would not be be of great interest to authorites unless he was served with bearnaisse sauce.

Let me know the outcome, so I can send you the money after this job gets done.
Thanks and blessings of the season,
Larry

Guest

Dont let them slip, this is getting interesting!

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 5:28 pm

Virginie and Larisa know what its like to lose your family to street mime violence.

Quote:

Dearest Larry,

Good day to you sir.We are shedding tears as we read your message this morning.We can understand what it feels like to watch your parents die right in your presence as a little child then and could do nothing to help just as the enemies poisoned our father and we watched him die in the hospital with our very eyes and we could do nothing.But GOD knows why things happen negatively some time and we cannot question GOD because he said that when bad things happen in our life what comes next is his goodness in abundance.Please sir if you believe in JESUS CHRIST died on the cross of calvery because of you and you acept him as your personal Lord and saviour,Please don't keep things that has happened in the past to ruin your life.Trust in GOD because he works in ways that we humans do not understand.So you have to give glory to GOD that they did not have that evil mind to kill you as well that very day the insidence happened.GOD knows why he took their mind off from you from doing the same as they did to your parents.That alone in enough for you to thank GOD for his love for you and for keeping you alive up till this moment.

Please try to that we have no relatives and the only person that matters and who we value the most in our lives now is GOD and you our guardian.Please we are begging you to understand that from our comunication with the bank Director he is a nice man and he wants to realse the money to us because it belongs to us.The only thing that we have to do is to follow their instruction so that the money will be released to us.The documents they are requesting for is not coming from them but from our countries ministy of justice.We also want you to know that the bank director is a black man,infact he is from COTE D'IVOIRE.It's just that our country is colonised by the FRENCH.So from all we have seen in the bank so far,all the staff of the bank are blacks.

Please try and raise the money for us because we know that you are capable and willing to do so but please don't let your child hood experience way you down from your present day life.Weare really suffering here to be honest with you.If not the help of the church where we are staying maybe we would have died by now but thank GOD for his mercy and grace on us.We are hoping that by monday that you send the money to us so that we can go and get this documents and submit to the bank for them to release the money to you and for us to come over to America to live with you as a family.

We look forward to recieving a positive response from you by monday.

Thank you and please try and have a fun filled weekend.

wishing you all the best.

Larisa / Virginie.

Curiously enough, as soon as I hit the "send" button, I got a missive from Pasor Dan King.

Quote:

My dear brother Larry,

Greetings to you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.How are you
today and how is also your family ?,i believe that the blesings of
the Lord is flowing in abundance in your life.iI was very excited to
recieve your mail this morning and after going through the content of
the message,i found out that this a serious and urgent matter that
has to be handled immediately as in concerns my daughters iN Christ
Mis Larrisa and Virginie.

I waisted no time this morning as i imediately proceed to the bank as
you said to meet with Mr.Michel Lafont.I got to the bank early enough
that i has to wait for close to one hour before Mr.Lafont arrived to
the bank.I waisted no time to introducing myself to him and that i
want to speak with him in private.So he asked me to go with him to
his office.

So we got in his ofice and i began to tell him my mission concerning
the transfer of the USD$8.2m dollars belonging to Miss Larisa and
Virginie Ama which was deposited in their bank by their late
father.He told me that he is very much away of it and that the
recipient in whom the girls has informed them is their guardian and
he went on and mentioned your name has been contacted and that you
have ben told all they require from you and the applicants to enable
them transfer the money succesfully and legally on quote.

So at the end of our discusion he made me to understand that you
really do not undertand what it takes to make a transfer of a late
person.He told me that if the father's of this girls is alive that
their won't be any need for this documents which they asked the girls
to present to them.He also went on to explain that it is in the
interest of both parties wich include the beneficiaries of the fund
and the bank that the importance of this documents is required for
legal and record purposes.He said that no bank in the world can make
such unprofessional transfer of fund.

He went on to say that the documents is to be obtained from the COTE
D'IVOIRE ministry of justice here in ABIDJAN and not from the bank.He
said that he wants to use his position as the director of the bank to
help the girls during the course of transfer because acording to him
more things are neded to be done but mentioned your name again that
you making things dificult for him to do so.

I spoke to him as an ordained man of God which i know that the God
that i serve will touch him to do what ever he wants to do to help
this my daughters fund transfered to your acount.

On my way coming back from the bank,i decided to go to the ministry
the find out facts for my self,so i went round the offices their and
at the end i found the office and i meet a man their and asked him
some questions and he gave me answers that i personaly come to
understand that what the bank is requesting for is legal and it has
to be obtained if the money is to be transfered if not anybody from
the family can can forge a document to come for the claim of the
money as well.

I an ordained man of GOD,Personaly i am not from this country,i am
from KENYA.I forgot to let you know that the last time i wrote to you
but as a servant of GOD,He can send you to any where he wishes and
that is how i found myself in this country and i have lived here for
over 6 years now.
Please i am begging you to help my this orphans in any way you can
and se what God will do in your life as they are coming to live with
you.You know sometimes when God want to do great in one's life the
devil would try one way or the other to stop it.Please don't allow
this to happen.
This girls are very fond of you here as much as i know.Please send
the money to them because i know you can and you honestly wants to
help them.Continue on your good work and see what God will do.

Please by tomorrow,i espect to hear from them that you have sent the
money to them.

May the good Lord contine to bles you.

I await to hear from you.
Rev.Pasor Daniel.

I guess this means that Pastor Don King didn't fit Michael LaFont for a Jo-burg necklace like I wanted. Awww, nuts. I better clear things up with LaFont before Don King changes his mind and takes me up on the contract.

Quote:

Dear Michael LaFont:

Boy is my face red! Here I was, thinking that you were French, when in fact you are actually an African! Wow, that is a relief to find out that you actually aren't French or of French descent. I offer my sincerest condolences that your country was colonized by those two-legged sub-human cheese eating insects.

I have to think that some of this misunderstanding is partially my fault, but I think that we can get together and have a few drinks at your favorite watering hole (where everybody knows your name, as the song goes) when this transaction is all said and done.

Back to business. I finally understand that the reasonable fees you are asking for are being leveed by the ministry of justice in Chad. Furthermore, I realize that it WASN'T your bank that was charging those fees. That would make you no better than those who bugger cancer-ridden boys in their multi-million dollar california ranch. Therefore, I propose the following, since I am very good in business: Your bank can loan Larisa and Virginie the money to pay for the fees, and you can use the money in their father's unclaimed account as collateral! I am more than willing to put my signature on that loan and act as an underwriter in this instance!

Mr. LaFont, this is a win-win situation for both of us. Let me know when you have the loan papers together so that I can sign them and Virginie and Larisa can finally have their claim fulfilled!

Many thanks,
Larry Flynt
CEO and President,
Hustler Enterprises, LLC

Meanwhile, the girls need to know that Larry is going to sex them up right.

Quote:

Virginie and Larisa:

How are you beautiful girls this morning? I am writing to let you know that I have made an arrangement with Mr Michael LaFont for you to get your money out of the bank. I can't say what it is yet, but I think you will be very pleasantly surprised when you find out the deal that I made with him to get your funds.

Oh my dearest loves, I cannot wait to get you to America where you can begin your life again. Virginie, I want to caress your silken skin. Larisa, I could just stare into your eyes all evening. Baby, I want to take our love to the next level. I want to fly to Abdijan personally and pick you two up at the airport. We shall fly back to America, and you two shall join the mile-high club. I shall set you down on a bed with scattered rose petals. I will whisper in your ear how much I love you and you complete me. You will tell me that I had you at 'hello'. We will hold each other and talk long into the night about our new future life. We shall kiss gently, teasingly, and yet longingly. That's when I get you doggystyle. I'll pull out so I can nut in your face. Its then that you will know that Larry is your man. I shall take wonderful care of you girls.

Your loving daddy,
Larry

Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 9:52 pm

Quote:

FROM BANQUE INT'L

ABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE

ATTN: MR.LARRY FLYNT

WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL APPOLOGISING FOR MISUNDERTANDING OUR STATUS.YOUR COMMENTS ARE WELL NOTED DOWN AND WE HAVE ACEPTED YOUR APPOLOGY.

I AM HAPPY THAT YOU HAVE REALISED THAT MICHEL LAFONT IS NOT A FRENCH MAN.I AM FROM THIS COUNTRY COTE D'IVOIRE.I AM ALSO A DEVOTED CHRISTIAN,FAMILY MAN AND HAS BEEN THE DIRECTOR OF THIS BANK FOR CLOSE TO NINE YEARS NOW.

I MR.MICHEL LAFONT IS A VERY UNDERSTANDING PERSON AND HAVING BEEN INTO THE BANKING PROFFESSION FOR A VERY LONG TIME KNOWS WHAT IS ESPECTED FROM CUSTOMERS BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU COME ACROSS DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUND AND IT TAKES WISDOM TO PUT THEM ON THE WRITE PART.

I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST YOU AS A PERSON AND BEING A CUSTOMER TO US AND IT IS MY DUTY TO PUT YOU ON THE RIGHT PART SO THAT YOU CAN ACHIEVE WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR.

OUR PROFFESION IS ALL ABOUT DOCUMENTATION OR KEEPING RECORDS,TRUST AND MEETING THE DEMANDS OF OUR CLIENTS AND THAT IS THE STRENGHT OF ANY SUCCESSFULL BANK.WE AT BANQUE INT'L OWE IT AS A DEBT TO ALL OUR CUSTOMERS.

SO NOW THAT YOU HAVE CORRECTED YOUR MISTAKE, WE WISH TO TELL YOU THAT WE ARE READY TO DO BUSINESS WITH YOU.

HOWEVER,CONCERNING YOUR REQUEST FOR A LOAN TO BE RELEASED TO THE APPLICANTS WILL NOT BE POSSIBLE AT THIS TIME.THIS IS BECAUSE WE ARE AT THE END OF THE FIRST QUARTER OF THIS YEAR 2005 AND THE AUDIT DEPARTMENT OF THE BANK HAS ALREADY STARTED THE AUDITING OF THE FIRST QUARTER OF 2005 OF OUR TRANSACTIONS IN THE LAST FOUR MONTHS.UP TILL THIS MOMENT WE ARE STILL ESPECTING OUR CLIENTS WHO HAVE COLLECTED LOANS FROM THE BANK TO RETURN THE FUNDS RELEASED TO THEM SINCE JANUARY.SO THE ISSUE OF LOAN WILL NOT BE POSSIBLE AT THIS TIME.

I AM HERE BY GIVING YOU MY WORD OF ASSURANCE THAT I WILL ASSIST YOU AND THE APPLICANTS USING MY POSSITION AS THE DIRECTOR OF THIS BANK IN ANY WAY THAT I CAN TO ENSURE THAT THE FUND IS TRANSFERED TO YOU.IN THIS CASE,I HERE BY ADVISE YOU TO RELEASE THE FEE REQUESTED BY THE MINISTRY OF JUSTICE TO THE APPLICANTS FOR THEM TO GO AND OBTAIN THIS DOCUMENTS AND IN LESS THAN 24 WORKING HOURS THE FUND WILL BE TRANSFERED TO YOUR ACCOUNT.

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE DOCUMENTS IS THAT AS SOON AS ITS BEEN OBTAINED FRIM THE JUSTICE MINISTRY AND LEGALLY SIGNED BY THE CHIEF JUSTICE,NO ONE CAN COME FROM EITHER FROM THE FAMILE OF THE APPLICANTS OR ELSE WHERE FOR THE CLAIM OF THE FUND BECUASE THEY HAVE BEEN LEGALLY CLEARED.

SO NOW YOU KNOW THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS DOCUMENTS.IT IS NOT FOR THE BANK BUT FOR THE INTEREST OF THE APPLICANTS.SO I WANT YOU TO ACT FAST IF YOU REALLY HAVE THIS APPLICANTS AT HEART AS YOU HAVE EARLIER MENTIONED.YOU CAN CALL ME ON THE PHONE NUMBERS BELOW IF YOU NEED MORE EXPLAINATIONS.

AWAITING YOUR POSITIVE RESPONSE.

YOUR'S FAITHFULLY

MR.MICHEL LAFONT

DIRECTOR (BICICIC)

00225 06 016597 or 00225 06 050376.

Quote:

Dearest daddy,

How are you today ?,we hope that all is okay with you.For some days now we have not heard from you and we became so worried that we decided to write you.We are really confued right now because we don't know what our future will be because you have not said anything about the fee the ministry have charged us to obtain the documents the bank has asked us to provide before they can release our money to you.We have since gone to the bank and they told us that they have advised you on what you have to do and we should go back and sort things out with you.Please we want to know what is happening and what you are doing to help us because we are suffering here.We are finding it very difficult to even feed.Please have a human sympathy on us.We have entrusted our life and future in our hands.Please get back to us and let us know what you are planning next.

Ancious to hear from you

Best wishes from your daughters

Larisa / Virginie.

Quote:

Rev. Pasor Don King:

Thank you so much for the efforts that you have made on the girl's behalf. I know that I appreciate it, and I am sure that they do too. I'm glad to know that you didn't have to resort to bloodletting when it came to dealing with Michael LaFont. I did not realize that Mr. LaFont was actually not a Frenchman a while ago and became enraged at the very sound of his name. As it turns out, the Ivory Coast was simply colonized by the French, which I guess is why they feel the need to shoot up unarmed civilians with helicopter gunships. Well, I for one take a stand on the issue and firmly say "No blood for cocoa!!" I hope that the cannibals in your country got to dine upon any captured French soldiers.

Anyway, I know that you are keeping the girls' virginity safe so that they will not have to become common prostitutes. I am going to get them to America as soon as possible so that they can begin a new life, possibly as actresses for Vivid Video. I am good friends with Dirk Diggler and Ron Jeremy, so I think getting them an audition would not be much of a problem.

Thanks again for everything! Keep busting cherries, my man!
Sincerely,
Larry Flynt

Quote:

Hello,

Greetings in the name of ourLord Jesus Christ.How are you today and
how is your business ?,hope things are moving smoothly for
you.Thanks for your email and thanks also for your understanding.The
girls are in safe hands because GOD is with them.I really do
appreaciate your willingness to help my Daughters in the Lord and i
am assuring you that you will not regret your decision because GOD
does not allow people like you to lack as he said that blessed is he
that giveth than him that taketh.As you have come to rescue my
daughters from their problem,I pray to GOD to take care of all your
problems in JESUS NAME-AMEN.

However,you know very well that there is something at stake whic the
agirs are espected to produce to the bank before the money could be
transfered and it's two weeks now since they were asked to provide
this documents,I want to when you are sending the money to them.The
bank has given reasons why they cannot give them loan and you can't
keep silent over this.As a matter of urgency please i want to hear
from you when you are sending the money to them.It has been long
this matter has been at stake and i am begging to conclude this
transfer with the bank immediately so that this girls can live this
country.There condition is very bad now because they can barely eat
normal food and this is a big problem to me because they are in my
costudy.I don't want them to witness the up coming election which is
starting anytime from now because it is going to be bloody.

I am waiting to hear from you as soon as possible .May the good Lord
guide and bless you.

Yours faithfully
Rev.pastor Daniel.

Quote:

Pastor Don King:

Blessings of the famine to you, my good man! I did not know that there were elections upcoming in your little hellhole of a country. Sometimes I think the American political process would be far more engaging if more bloodshed was involved. In that respect, I think we have a lot to learn from your culture.

Please tell me that the girls are not being gang banged on the hood of a Trans Am outside your orphanage. If that is the case, I will be forced to take drastic action. As for the loan, I am going to send them the money via Transcontinental Intermodality Transfer Service this Wednesday. Hopefully you can keep the starving locals away from the girls. We don't want them to be eaten, and not in the pleasant way if you know what I mean.

Talk to you later, cupcake!
Larry Flynt

Quote:

Virginie and Larisa:

How is yo fine azz selves? You know, I am starting to feel really unappreciated. I tell you my fantasies, I show you my love, and you have never once reciprocated the feelings, baby. Now, I was planning to send you all the necessary money by Wednesday. But, if you love another... if you are calling another man "daddy" when he yells "who's yo daddy?", then I will know only loneliness and despair.

You girls are breaking my heart. All I ask for is a little of your sweet love in return. Please send me a naked picture of yourself so that I can know that you truly do love me. Baby, you drive me wild, but some days I think that all you think about is money. I wanna bust my nut all over your lust hardened nipples, but something tells me that you don't feel the same way. Baby, tell me its not true by showing me your sexy fine nubian goddess body. If you do that, then I know that when you and sister come to America, we shall live lives of unihibited passion until the end of our days.

Much love,
Larry

This is great. She/he/it is doing exactly what I wanted!!!

Quote:

Dearest Larry,

Good day to you sir.How are you and your business ?,we hope and believe that all is well with you.It's wonderfull hearing from you once again and we want to let you know that we appreciate your concern and love for us.

Dear sir,why have you decided to ruin our life and pretend as if you care for us ?,We are very ashamed because we are wondering the kind of a man that you are.So all your promises is just to see if you can see our nudity after you promised us that you are sorry the last time you made a simmilar request when you requested that you want us to send you a pic where two of are kissing each other and now you are requesting our naked pics.What confuses us the most is what you want to do with this useless request.We now know why you refused to send the money for the documents all this time and you think we will fall to your dirty desires this time because we needed money from you.

Dear Larry,we cannot and will never do that for you to help us if you cannot help us because of this then keep your money to your self,we don't need you.At the appointed time God will show us the right person that will help us because this is the second time you are making such a request and it is only a fool that will not reason and understand that you are not a repossible man.We purposedly decided not to shawn you all this while about the kind of words you always use when writing mails to us because we don't want you to see us as disrespectful but we can not find out that you were actually heading for something.Sorry,we are not prostitutes and if you want such services we believe you know where to get it.

How can you allow the lust of the flesh to control your emotions ?.You really need a counselling and deliverrance because you don't know what you are doing.Ask God to forgive you because you have sinned against him.Allow Jesus to come into your life and you will see that your life will never remain the same again.If all this things is what is your major problem why don't you go and get married again since you ex-wife is dead.You have every right to do so because that is approved by God that if your wife is dead you are free to marry another wife if you wish to do so.So we are advicing you to get your self a new wife so you don't fall into furnication and adultery.

We don't want to go further more.A word is enough for the wise,Our late father told us that you don't teach a wise person something twice.Read your bible regularly and asked THE HOLE SPIRIT OF GOD to teach you.What we are now requesting from you is to give us the power by wrting an official letter to the bank so that we can remove your account details from the bank and look for some else who is honestly willing to help us because we find it difficult to trust you.

Thank you.

Larisa / Virginie.

WARNING! WARNING! BAD LANGUAGE! INSENSITIVITY! VAGINA JOKES!

Quote:

Virginie:

I really don't understand what the fucking problem is
with you jungle bitches.

Tell me, which bible verse were you memorizing when
you posed for this picture? Is there a particular
psalm that you feel is appropriate when you are
spreading your labia? Maybe you were thinking of
Daniel in the lion's den when you were giving the
cameraman the "get over here and pound my slick *DELETED*
with your throbbing tool" look? Does the African
translation of the sermon on the mount include "I say
unto thee, show me thine tits?"

Did I miss that night in bible study, Larisa? I guess
so, since you seem to really enjoy mixing religion
with fucking.

My secretary, Dana Plato, showed me that picture the
other day. I was speechless. Here you were, pretending
to be this innocent little virgin when in reality you
were posing for Vulvas Illustrated Monthly. Don't act
so fucking shocked you little liar.

If you want your money, you had better send me a
picture of you licking your sister's snatch. Either
that, or had had better come up with the mutherfucker
god-daddy of all apologies to me.

GOT IT?
Larry

Now made safe for work via the magic of Larry Flynt's Modesty Modality!(tm)

Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 11:46 pm

What? They haven't replied yet? How can the pass up a Flynt nut-pop in the eye? puke

Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 3:31 pm

Well, after that little exchange, I think its time to come clean with the girl's pastor. He shouldn't have any delusions as to the girls' "proclivities". Therefore, I included the naked picture for him to ponder.

Quote:

Dearest Don King:

How are you and your ministry? Fine I hope! How's life in your little neck of the woods today? Have Larisa and Virginie told you that I am some kind of evil old pervert? Well, they certainly got the pervert part right, although I am hardly old or evil by any stretch of the imagination.

I am prepared to send the girls the fees required to get the documents necessary from the Ministry of Final Justice or whatever the fuck its called in your backwards dump of a country. However, it seems that your "innocent little orphan angels" are actually "cum guzzling cock fiends" as you can see from this picture of Virginie spreading her labia, presumably to air out her vagina. Don King, this does not bother me. Not in the slightest. But please let them know that they need to tone down the Bible-thumping horseshit when dealing with me. I know that they are sluts, and that is exactly why I want to get them out of the jungle and into my garden of earthly pleasure here in the United States.

I guess what I'm saying here, Don, is that if you can spare a moment from buggering altar boys and cannibalism, I would humbly request that you tell the girls that I still love them very much. I love them because of their flaws, and not in spite of them.

Walk with God, my good man. May the blessings of Chthulu rain down upon your ministry.
Larry Flynt

The bank needs to know exactly how far the girls are willing to go to make this transaction risky-free!

Quote:

Dear Banque:

I fully accept your apology. However, you cannot be surprised that the French command the type of respect afforded to child molesters and nigerian email scammers. But thats all water under the bridge now!

Anyway, I want you to know that the girls have agreed that they are willing to do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, to get a loan from your bank for the money. They have told me that they are willing to slide their wanton tongues up and down your stiff member while they finger your tight little bumhole. Plus, they want you to pound their dripping snatchs until your love tool explodes hot man cream all over their slutty little faces. Larisa especially wants to sit on your face while Virginie sucks your cock like a cum drunk whore. These sisters are wild, my man. And they will rock your world like you wouldn't believe for a little cash.

Don't you be trippin' 'bout the HIV either. Both girls have taken preventative measures like using dental dams in the past. You'll be drilling virgin wetlands, if you know what I mean, big boy!

Can't wait to hear from you soonest!
Larry Flynt

I sincerely hope that they write back soon. I can't wait to hear their outraged replies. If they give me the silent treatment, I will positively curl up in a ball and die!

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Mar 2004 Posts: 207

I see no mention of vibrating butt plugs:!: Where are the vibrating butt plugs Question

Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 6:20 pm

This is sad. I think we are at the end of this little bait. Its been fun, even if the girls never saw the value in showing me their naked bodies.

Quote:

Virginie:

I haven't heard from you girls in quite a while. Is
everything going well there in Chad or Nigeria or
wherever in that godforsaken land you are?

There is something you haven't told me about,
virginie. Apparently, you weren't always a girl? This
photo came to me as quite a surprise on Friday. It
doesn't matter to me, girl since I will always be your
lover man.

Love,
Larry

Quote:

Hey there, big fella!

It may come to you as a surprise that Virginie actually has a penis! Isn't that wild? You can then indulge in any of your dirty, depraved transsexual fantasies that you might come across. I send this to you as a friend who wants to make sure that you know that the sweet little "girl" that you are going to be raping is actually a man, baby!

Love,
Larry Flynt

For both of the previous emails, I include the following Reprob8 masterpiece (NSFW) http://members.419eater.com/~reprob8/CRYINGGAME.JPG

Still no response after a week. Lets see if there's any life left in this one at all.

Quote:

Daniel:

I think I have a solution to our problem with the girls. What would you say if I just went over there to the Ivory Coast and bought them for $20,000 a head? Just imagine all the sexy little altar boys you could buy with that kind of money, Daniel. Hell, I bet you could find some mute ones who would never tell an adult about your late night 'bible study' buggery sessions.

Let me know what you think of this modality!
Larry flynt

Sigh. Looks like this one's done! If you want to contact the girls, please send your love to: [email protected] The banker can be reached at [email protected] and 00225 06 016597 or 00225 06 050376. The girl's minister would love to hear from you at [email protected]

Enjoy!

Posted: Tue May 17, 2005 2:34 am

Classic.
Had me in stitches, especially the bit about the French mime artists.
Mind you. Could've shot those pesky mime artists....if you had a silencer.
Aythangyooo.
Don

Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:44 pm

no reply yet!!! Grrrrrrr Poor Larry,

Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 3:13 am

Sensational work there Larry, how could they turn down such a hot offer? Very Happy

_________________
Group insurance Forum

Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 1:24 am

Quote:

I feel so very deeply for those girls, and I want them out of your godforsaken country as soon as possible.

I once spent a few brief hours in Abidjan. Flew in low over the jungle, the palm trees and the fabulous white beaches. And very soon after was narrowly avoiding jail. I never did quite understand how we got out of there.

Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 2:20 pm

^^^^Maybe it had something to do with the 400 pounds of china white you were smuggling up your bum-bum? (kidding!!! joke!!!! smile, dammit!!!!)

Yeah, I'm so sorry that the ride with the girls has to end. Unfortunately for them, they found out the hard way that I too visit the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.black.females newsgroup and was already familiar with the photo set that they sent me. Well, when you're a lad, you live and learn! Laughing

Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 11:08 pm

Wow, that is some fine work! Great lines, I admire your creativity and nerve! From "dynamite fishing for manatees" to bureaucrats "served with bearnaisse sauce", excellent technique. The entire letter to the "French" banker and the mime-attack story are classic.

"Blessings of the famine to you, my good man!"

"Please tell me that the girls are not being gang banged on the hood of a Trans Am outside your orphanage."

"If you want your money, you had better send me a picture of you licking your sister's snatch."

OMG, how do you think of this stuff? LMAO!

Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 3:37 am

GeorgeBush wrote:

OMG, how do you think of this stuff? LMAO!

It's a lot harder to do when I'm on my medications!! Laughing

Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 11:52 am

Larry Flynt wrote:

[referring to my brush with the authorities in Abijan] Maybe it had something to do with the 400 pounds of china white you were smuggling up your bum-bum? (kidding!!! joke!!!! smile, dammit!!!!)

Actually it was more to do with filling up our plane with $10,000 worth of aviation fuel and then having no means to pay for it.

(I was the only-ever passenger on Air Swaziland - an airline which went bust during the five-day flight from Luton to Johannesburg)

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