Larry takes it Eze! (Problems in Lagos - 7/25)

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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:17 am

Let 'er rip:

Quote:

Date: Tue, 21 Jun 2005 06:59:44 -0700
From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
Subject: Transaction
To: [email protected]

Dear Sir

I am Mr Ossy Eze a close personal assistance to ENGINEER ...a National
of
your country who is an engineer and contractor that used to work and
supply
equipments to Multi national Oil Company in West African with his base
in
Lagos Former capital of Republic of Nigeria. It is highly unfortunate
and
my heart still bleeds as I relate and recount this sad story to you. On
14th
June 2002.

My Boss, his wife and two children were involved in a car accident
along
Lagos--shagamu High way Nigeria All the occupants of the vehicle lost
their
lives and since then I have made several inquires to your embassy to
locate
any of my Boss extended relatives but it ended without any atom of
success.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his last
name
over the INTERNET, to locate any member of his family, hence I contact
you
to assists in repatriating the sums of$22.3 million DOLLARS my boss
deposited
with the security company here in Republic of Nigeria before his
untimely
death with his families.

The security company were my Boss lodged this money have issued me a
notice
to provide the Next Of Kin to my Boss before the money gets confiscated
or
declare unserviceable by the security company, within the next official
limited
time. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over
six
months now.

I seek your transparent consent to present you as the next of kin of
the
deceased ,so that the proceeds of this money can be delivered to you at
your
home country by the security company. As a personal assistance to my
dead
Boss I have all the document of deposit to back up the claim of the
money
from the security company.

All I requireity from you is your honest cooperation and confidential
to
enable us see the deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed
under
lagete mate arrangement and transparency.

Hence an attorney will provide neecessary legal documents that can be
used
to back up all the claims, Finally could you inform me of your
acceptance
to carryout this deal with me, I shall in turn tell you the code and
batch
number my deceases Boss deposited the money with the security company
including
the name and particulars of the security company where the money is
lodged.

Again you are entitled to 30% of the total sum of the money while 70%
of
the money should be kept for me as soon as the money is delivered to
your
home country by the security company.

You can reach me any time with this Number 234 80 3842 3254

Regards
Mr Ossy Eze

___________________________________________________________

How easy is Ossy? I begin the bait...

Quote:

Date: Tue, 21 Jun 2005 14:23:25 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Re: Transaction
To: [email protected]
Dear Ozzy Easy

I am so sad to hear of ENGINEER's death. Surely it must have come as a shock to you to hear that ENGINEER was dead. In my country, we are frequently stricken with grief at the death of ENGINEER.

When you inquired about me at the embassy, which embassy was it? Just curious.

Anyway, please write back me back soonest so that we can get the money out and into my responsible hands. Your offer of 40% for my efforts is most generous.

Sincerely,
Larry Flynt

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To:
Subject: Thanks for assisting me/I agree to give you the 40%
Date: Wed, 22 Jun 2005 10:18:38 +0100

Thanks for your mail
Well, for this transaction to start, you are therefore advised to send
to me
the follwing information

(A)Your full name and address were the fund will be deposited by the
security company.
(B) Your phone and fax numbers for easy communication.
As soon as i receive this infoemation from you,we will contact the
services
of an attorney to legalize and officialize the documents on your name
and
address at the high court of the Federal Republic Of Nigeria,thereby
making
you the NEXT OF KIN and bonafide beneficiary to the fund deposited by
my
late Boss.
NB this transaction is RISK FREE but demands total trust and hornest
from
both of us. I am here with me the original Certificate of deposit with
which
the fund was deposited by my late Boss,and am willing to send it to you
on
condition that you will not disappoint me when the fund is finally
released
to you by the security company.
Hope to here from you soon
Thanks and God Bless
Mr ossy Eze

Quote:

Date: Wed, 22 Jun 2005 11:15:08 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: Thanks for assisting me/I agree to give you the 40%
To: [email protected]
Dear Easy Ozzy:

You never answered my question from my last email. This is disappointing, and I am not sure that I can fully trust you. I am a very sensitive man, so please do not use me and throw me away.

My address is:
419 Chingatumadre Avenue
Fellatio, California 90210
My phone number is not currently working because of a pole sitters strike. Until it is working again, you will have to use email as your primary method of communication.

Lastly, I need to know that this transaction is 100% risky free.

Larry Flynt

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To:
Subject: send this Application to the security company
Date: Thu, 23 Jun 2005 13:08:27 +0100

DEAR FLYNT
THANKS FOR THE PARTICULARS YOU SEND TO ME.BUT THE SECURITY COMPANY WILL
DEMAND YOUR NUMBERS
PLEASE BELLOW IS THE TEXT OF APPLICATION YOU HAVE TO RE-COPY AND SEND
TO THE
SECURITY COMPANY VIA THEIR E-MAIL ADDRESS FOR EASY RELEASE OF THE FUND
TO
YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN AND BONAFIDE BENEFICIARY TO THIS FUND (22.3m).
PLEASE TRY AND SEND THIS APPLICATION AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS
MAIL,AND DO
NOT FAIL TO REACH BACK TO ME FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE WAY FORWARD.
REMAIN BLESSED
MR OSSY EZE

The Managing Director
World Wide Organization Plc
No.Plot 22 Williams Close
Vitoria Island
Lagos-Nigeria
Phone--234-1-476-4516
[email protected]

Dear Sir

AN APPLICATION FOR RELEASE AND CLAIM OF MY LATE RELATION FUND (22.3m)
ENGR.WAGES HAND

CODE FORM NUMBER STE CB. Gvc/1000293531
SECURITY CODE NUMBER ID/12263/HD/01
DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE NUMBER 4G32/CT2744

May I humbly apply for the release of the sum of $22.3m to me, with the
above following codes and certificate of deposit that was deposited in
your security company there in Lagos,Republic of Nigeria,by my late
relation ENGR ROOT FLYNT .

With due respect and reference to paragraph 105 sub section 45 of the
contract agreement reached with the depositor, in line with the
operation and system governing the deposit,I do hereby sincerely apply
for
the release of my fund to me as bonafide beneficiary.

Thanks for your co-operation.
Larry Flynt

Confidentiality has never been my strong point.

Quote:

Date: Thu, 23 Jun 2005 10:58:53 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" <[email protected]> View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Fwd: send this Application to the security company
To: Send an Instant Message [email protected]

[email protected] wrote:

From: [email protected]
To: l
Subject: send this Application to the security company
Date: Thu, 23 Jun 2005 13:08:27 +0100

DEAR FLYNT
THANKS FOR THE PARTICULARS YOU SEND TO ME.BUT THE SECURITY COMPANY WILL
DEMAND YOUR NUMBERS
PLEASE BELLOW IS THE TEXT OF APPLICATION YOU HAVE TO RE-COPY AND SEND TO THE
SECURITY COMPANY VIA THEIR E-MAIL ADDRESS FOR EASY RELEASE OF THE FUND TO
YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN AND BONAFIDE BENEFICIARY TO THIS FUND (22.3m).
PLEASE TRY AND SEND THIS APPLICATION AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL,AND DO
NOT FAIL TO REACH BACK TO ME FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE WAY FORWARD.
REMAIN BLESSED
MR OSSY EZE

The Managing Director
World Wide Organization Plc
No.Plot 22 Williams Close
Vitoria Island
Lagos-Nigeria
Phone--234-1-476-4516
[email protected]

Dear Sir

AN APPLICATION FOR RELEASE AND CLAIM OF MY LATE RELATION FUND (22.3m)
ENGR.WAGES HAND

CODE FORM NUMBER STE CB. Gvc/1000293531
SECURITY CODE NUMBER ID/12263/HD/01
DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE NUMBER 4G32/CT2744

May I humbly apply for the release of the sum of $22.3m to me, with the
above following codes and certificate of deposit that was deposited in
your security company there in Lagos,Republic of Nigeria,by my late
relation ENGR ROOT FLYNT .

With due respect and reference to paragraph 105 sub section 45 of the
contract agreement reached with the depositor, in line with the
operation and system governing the deposit,I do hereby sincerely apply for
the release of my fund to me as bonafide beneficiary.

Thanks for your co-operation.
Larry Flynt

Quote:

Date: Fri, 24 Jun 2005 03:22:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: Send an Instant Message "Wide Organisation" <[email protected]> Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: From M. Bello Director Foreign Operation Dept.
To: [email protected]

From Musa Bello,

Director Foreign Operation Dept
World Wide Organization Plc
No.Plot 22 Williams Close
Vitoria Island, Lagos-Nigeria

Phone--234-1-476-4516
[email protected]

Attn. Larry Flynt

This is to inform you that your Application for the Release of your fund ($22.3m) is going to be tabled before the Board of Directors of this Organization for Aproval in the next meeting of the Board coming up on Tusday,being 29th june 2005.

In view of this,you are requested to forward the following to the Organization.

(1.) The Certificate of Deposite

(2) Swon Affidavit from the High Court of Federal Repbulic of Nigeria(Stating that you are the Next of Kin to the Late Engr. Engr. A. FLYNT)

(3) A passport photograph of the late Engr. Engr. A. FLYNT

(4) Send to the Security Company your Phone and fax Numbers,

Your Occupation and the Country were you hails from including your current age.

Finally,you are sincerely advised to engage the services of an Attorney (Lawyer) to assist you carry out this duties here on your behalf,if you are not in position to appear personally.

You are free to contact any of this Attorneys for legal represntation here on your behalf for the purposes of standing for you towards the release of the fund to you,if it pleases you.

(A) Barrister Uba Ahmed of Uba Ahmed Chambers & Associates on this email address [email protected]

(B) Barrister Mitchel Sanko & Associates on this email [email protected]

Feel free to contact any of the Attorney and inform him that you were directed to reach him by World Wide Organization for the purpose of legal Representation for the claim of your Fund as the Next Of Kin to the late Engr. A. FLYNT

Feel free to reach back to the Organization.

Regards.

M. Bello

Director Foreign Operation Dept.

Quote:

Date: Fri, 24 Jun 2005 08:23:48 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Fwd: From M. Bello Director Foreign Operation Dept.
To: [email protected]
Easy Ozzy:

What is all this stuff they are asking for? I don't have any photographs of the corpse; shouldn't those be at the coroner's office? Also, I sure hope you can provide all the affadavits and documents they want, because I sure don't know what they want.

Larry Flynt

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To:
Subject: Please fellow my Advice
Date: Fri, 24 Jun 2005 16:48:30 +0100

Dear Flynt
Thanks for updateing me with what the security company is demanding
from us,
I have the Certificate of Deposite with me and also the photograph of
the
late Engr. Engr. A. FLYNT.

So now what the Attorney will do for us is only to get this Swon
Affidavit
from the High Court of Federal Repbulic of Nigeria, and it is only an
Attorney can do that.

Now my advice is that you have to reach one of the attorneys in this
mail
and inform him that you were directed to reach him by World Wide
Organization for the purpose of legal Representation for the claim of
your
Fund as the Next Of Kin to the late Engr. A. FLYNT.

Then you have to send other information to the security company,e.g
your
Phone and fax Numbers,your Occupation and the Country were you hails
from
including your current age.

And tell them that your Attorney will be comeing with other ducoments
as
they demanded.

Please do this now and get back to me ASAP

Thanks
Mr Ossy Eze

Quote:

Date: Fri, 24 Jun 2005 10:56:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: Please fellow my Advice
To: [email protected]
Hi there Easy Ozzy!

Are you sure we need a lawyer? Couldn't a barrister or a fluffer do this for us for a lot less money? I don't trust lawyers, here in the United States we must refer to them as "Shysters", for that is their title of respect. Why we have to respect them, especially the little bleeding heart pussies in the ACLU, is beyond me.

Sent me your list of "shysters" post haste!

Larry Flynt

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To:
Subject: My Advice
Date: Sat, 25 Jun 2005 18:23:06 +0100

Dear Brother Flynt
I got your mail and i understood what you are trying to explan but
there is
notting we can,once the security company has mention the two Attorney
to us
to chose one,

We have to follow what they said so that we will get our fund,we can
not do
it by ourself without an Attorney who will go to court for the
perpars,i
know it will cost us money before we can get the fund,but i belive if
we can
put hands together we most get the gold.

Well what ever may be the case you have to contact any of the Attorney
from
the mail security company send to you frist.

So that we will know what it will cost us to get the Swon Affidavit
from the High Court of Federal Repbulic of Nigeria,then we can join
hands to
pay for it.

Now my Avice is that you have to send mail to one of the Attorneys as
the
security company demaned from us for the intrest of this transaction.

So please do that and get back to me ASAP.

Regards

Mr Ossy Eze

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To:
Subject: Please fellow my Advice
Date: Mon, 27 Jun 2005 10:13:50 +0100

Dear Larry Flynt,
How is the weekend ,hope is ok.

I did not hear from you regards to what i tell you,have you send mail
to any
of the Attorney as the security company demaned,try and contact any of
them
today and get back to me so that we will know the next step to fellow
up the
transaction.

Thanks
Mr ossy Eze

Quote:

Date: Mon, 27 Jun 2005 12:22:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: hello!
To: Send an Instant Message [email protected]
Dear Shyster Sanka:

I am the late represenative to Easy Ozzy and the engineer flynt who has some worthless valuables in a storage box. I got you name from the security company. Weird, huh? Anyway, thye said to write you and get you working on the case so that we can retrieve our funds that are labeled as worthless valuables from the security comapany. Please tell me that this transaction is 100% risky free.

Many thanks,
Larry Flynt

Quote:

Date: Tue, 28 Jun 2005 03:56:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: Send an Instant Message "mitchel sanko" <[email protected]> Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: From Barrister Mitchel Sanko
To:

From Barrister Mitchel Sanko

Sanko Chambers & Associates

Attn. Larry Flynt,

Refrence to your mail to this Chamber,with special regards to your Family estate and your need and request for the Chamber to negotiate on your behalf the Documents the Court might need for such purposes,coupled with the reconmendation of the Security Company, as directed in the mail you sent to this Chamber,be informed that this Chamber will do evrything within the law in seeing to it that your request is redeemed.

It is on this note that i have gone to the security Company to ascertain things myself with specicl regards to the deposit,it may interest you to know that the late Engr.Flynt deposited the sum of $22.3M with the Security Company.

This Chamber is commited to rendering to you a total and transparent services towards receiveing this fund.

At this juncture,be informed that you will need to have A Swon Court Affidavit / Change of Ownership from the Court of the Land,Federal High court, at the cost $1,750 and it is to be made payable to Federal Inland Revenue collectors.(Court Registry)

Finally,it is important for you to note that,you will pay the sum of $1,200 to this Chamber for stamp duty and legal representation on your behalf both at the High Court and the Security Company till your Fund is released to you legally in line with the Laws governing such transaction.

We in this Chamber wish to assure you that the Chamber will do it best in making sure that your Fund is released to you smoothly.

Regards

Barrister M. Sanko.

Sanko Chambers & Associates

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To:
Subject: Have you contacted the Attorney
Date: Tue, 28 Jun 2005 16:51:50 +0100

Dear Larry Flynt
How are you today,hope you are ok,i did not hear from you regards to
the
advice i gave to you about what the Security Company demand from us.

Listin my good it is God that joins us together it is not by our power
so
let us put our heads together and see that this transaction goes the
way we
want it, i am begging for you help and effort to see that this
transaction
goes the way we plan it.

Have you contacted the Attorney for the interest of the transaction,if
you
did please try to let me know the update so that we will know how to
fellow
it up,you can not do it alone or me doing it alone that is why i
contacted
you to assist me.

NOTE you should know that you have to keep recode of every expence you
made
towards this transaction and also i will keep note of mine,because we
are to
balance the expence before shareing the fund.

Hope to hear from you Urgent,and we are to be fast in every thing
regards to
this tansaction so that we will have our fund within some weeks as the
roles
stated.

My name is OSSY EZE and not EASY OZZY

please try and reach any of the Attorney and get back to me.

Thanks
Ossy Eze

I ain't payin shit.

Quote:

Date: Wed, 29 Jun 2005 09:46:13 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" <[email protected]> View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: From Barrister Mitchel Sanko
To: Send an Instant Message "mitchel sanko" <[email protected]>
Dear Bannister Sanka:

Please forward all expenses to my good friend Easy Ozzy. He will surely get you your money better than I can. Please let me know when he has cut you a check.

Thanks,
Larry Flynt

Quote:

Date: Wed, 29 Jun 2005 09:51:54 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"> View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: Have you contacted the Attorney
To: [email protected]
Dearest Ozzy:

Please do not worry your pretty little head about a thing. I have kept very thorough records of all our transactions between you, me and the bannister. Unfortunately, it seems that there is a dark cloud coming. You see, Bannister Sanka is asking me for money. Its not that I don't have the money, I definately do, but I don't like the idea of sending money to a foriegn country via UPS. There are shady types who might rip open such a package, in hopes of findings that most titillating of cocaines, the crack cocaine. Imagine their surprise when they find not crack, but money with which they can purchase crack if they so choose. That would be a lose-lose situation for all of us, Ozzy.

So I told the bannister that you would be able to cut him a check out of your account to pay for all the expenses. I think that is the really fair way to do things, especially since you have already set aside money for expenses such as this.

Can't wait to hear from you soonest!
Larry Flynt

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To:
Subject: WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU PLEASE
Date: Thu, 30 Jun 2005 13:13:54 +0100

HOW ARE YOU MY GOOD FRIEND?

I HAVE GONE THROGH THE CONTENTS OF YOUR MAILS IN GOOD FAITH.
IT IS A PITY THAT I DO NOT EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH THE ATTORNEY IS DEMANDING
FROM
YOU FOR THE LEGALIZATION OF THE DOCUMENTS AT THE COURT,SO KINDLY INFORM
ME
HOW MUCH THE ATTORNEY SAID IT WILL COST TO OBTAIN THE VITAL DOCUMENTS
FROM
THE COURT.

AGAIN TRY AND FIND OUT FROM THE ATTORNEY AND UP DATE ME,PLEASE TRY AND
DO
SOMETHING IN THE NAME OF GOD TO SETTLE THE BILL AND HAVE THE FUND
RELEASED
TO YOU BY THE SECURITY COMPANY.

THERE IS A WAY OF SENDING MONEY TO OUTSIDE COUNTRY APART FROM UPS YOU
STATED.YOU CAN SEND MONEY TO THE ATTORNEY THROUGH WESTERN MONEY
TRANSFER AND
IT WILL BE RECEIVED MINITES AFTER IT WAS SENT.
THE EXPENSE YOU SAID THAT I STATED FOR SUCH AS THIS SHOULD BE AFTER THE
FUND
HAVE BEEN RELEASED TO YOU,THEN WE WILL DEDUCTED EXPENSES FROM THE MAIN
FUND
BEFORE DISBURSEMENT OF THE FUND.

I AM APPEALING TO YOU TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND ME FOR I HAVE INVESTED A
LOT
INTO THIS TRANSACTION TO BRING IT TO THIS CURENT LEVEL.

OUT OF THIS DEMANDS MADE BY THE SECURITY COMPANY TO YOU,I HAVE THE
FOLLOWING
HERE WITH ME (1.) The Certificate of Deposite ,(3) A passport
photograph of
the late Engr. Engr. A. FLYNT

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO SEND TO THE SECURITY COMPANY THE FOLLOWING
(4) Your Phone and fax Numbers, Your Occupation and the Country were
you
hails from including your current age.

AS FOR, (2) Sworn Affidavit from the High Court of Federal Repbulic of
Nigeria(Stating that you are the Next of Kin to the Late Engr. Engr. A.
FLYNT) THE ATTORNEY WILL OBTAIN THAT FROM THE HIGH COURT AND THAT IS
WHAT IS
HOLDING THIS TRANSACTION NOW,PLEASE TRY AND SEE REASON WITH ME AND
ASSIST IN
REDEEMING THE TRANSACTION BY REACHING THE ATTORNEY FOR THIS DOCUMENT
FROM
THE HIGH COURT.

I DO WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU PLEASE TO KNOW MY STAND AS I AM HOPING AND
COUNTING ON YOU OVER THIS TRANSACTION AS THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO PUT
SMILES
TO OUR FACES.
REMAIN BLESSED
OSSY EZE

My stars! Could it be true? A way of sending money to total strangers in Africa that is 100% risky free?

Quote:

Date: Fri, 1 Jul 2005 06:22:00 -0700 (PDT)
From: Send an Instant Message "mitchel sanko" <[email protected]> Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: From Barrister Mitchel Sanko
To:

From Barrister M Sanko

Attn:Larry Flynt

Sequel to your mail to this Chamber,with regards to what you stated in it,Well it may interest you to note that it is not the duty of this Chamber to reach your good friend Easy Ozzy on the bills we sent to you,it will be better for you to get contact your friend and iron out how to settle the issue within yourself as our duty as Attorney is to mproceed to the Federal High Court and A Swon Court Affidavit / Change of Ownership from the Court in your name and address as the Bonafide Next of Kin to your late relation Inheritance Fund($22.3m).

Finally,feel free to get back to the Chamber as soon as you have finalisedf arrangement with your friend to enable this Chamber render to you the legal services needed for the release of your Fund to you by the Finance House were it is Deposited.

Regards

Barrister M Sanko

Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:39 am

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To: [email protected]
Subject: Reminder
Date: Tue, 05 Jul 2005 13:33:03 +0100

Dear Larry
How are you today?hope you are ok,for long i did not hear from you
since
regards to the transaction on how we will do with the Attorney, so
please
let me hear from you so that i will know my stand.

Now have you contacted the Attorney and know the next thing we should
do for
the interest of the transaction.

I look forward in hearing from you.

Regards
Ossy Eze

Quote:

Date: Tue, 5 Jul 2005 13:53:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" <[email protected]> View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: From Barrister Mitchel Sanko
To: Send an Instant Message "mitchel sanko" <[email protected]>
Dear Bannister Sanka:

I don't believe I am paying you to tell me who I need to contact and when. I find it highly offensive that you cannot be bothered to contact Ozzy Easy and get his money. If you find this task too daunting, then I will be more than happy to utilize the services of a more full service lawyer.

Please let me know when the documents are released in my favor.
Larry Flynt

Quote:

Date: Tue, 5 Jul 2005 13:59:31 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" <[email protected]> View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: Reminder
To: [email protected]
Dearest Ozzy:

Your attorney is not budging until you send him some money. Here is his email: [email protected]. He is under the impression that a client pays for legal services upfront before said legal services are rendered. Don't worry, Easy. I gave him the old Whats-For. If he doesn't assume the position, I think we really need to consider another, less deceitful barrister for our particular special services.

Sorry you didn't hear from me for the past couple of days. I've had the Hershey squirts really bad and haven't been able to email anybody, let alone you, for several days. I think it was from some of the raw chicken that I ate at our company's annual Capitulation Day picnic. Don't worry, Ozzy, I'm all better and the cramping isn't nearly as excruciating as it was on Saturday.

Blessings of the seasonings!
Larry Flynt

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To: [email protected]
Subject: Try and understand
Date: Wed, 06 Jul 2005 13:16:45 +0100

Dear Larry Flynt

How are you today?Hope you are ok now,

I got your mail and all the content was well understood,but you have to
bear
this in mind,that we are in Africa not states where an Attorney will
reder
his legal services with out paying him at list half of the money he
charged.

That is the way they do it here,and for me i dont have any more money
with
me as you know i have invested a lot into this transaction to get it up
to
this level,

Now my advice is that you will ask him how much is the total money and
you
are to pay half of it and to balance the other part when you get the
fund
into your Account, if he will agree with the condition than you will
know
what to do for the half payment.

I have gotten all the documents we need remeaning the one an Attorney
will
do for us and that is the one he is talking about.so please with the
name of
God to assist me redeem this payment please.

Waiting to hear from you urgent.

Mr ossy Eze

Quote:

Date: Wed, 6 Jul 2005 11:21:12 -0700 (PDT)
From: Send an Instant Message "mitchel sanko" <[email protected]> Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: From Barrister Mitchel Sanko
To: [email protected]

From Barrister Ubaahmed

Attn:Larry

This Chamber have gone through your mail in good faith.

My dear good Client,it may interest you to know that it is not the duty of this Chamber to pay for the Court charges for obtaining a Court Sworn Affidavit/Change of Ownership at the High Court of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.Are you asking this Chamber to pay for the Services we are rendering to you?

As an average American like you,you are intitled to your right,and as such you have every right to chose another Attorney to carryout the legalization and Officilization of Documents for you at the High Court,but we in this Chamber Will not afford to obtain any Documents for you at the High Court without your paying for the cost of obtaining those documents.

We sincerely wish you good luck in your quest to receive your late relation inheritance Fund in Nigeria,but if you still need our servises,we assure you that this Chamber will not hesitate to render to you the needed services that will help you receive your Fund from the Finance House were vit is deposited by your late relation in line with the law of the Country.

Regards

Barrister M Sanko

"An Average American like me?" You're talking to Larry Fucking Flynt, fuckface!! I am wayyyyyy above average!

Quote:

Date: Fri, 8 Jul 2005 06:00:31 -0700 (PDT)
From: Send an Instant Message "Wide Organisation" <[email protected]> Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: From Musa Bello, (Director Foreign Operation Dept)
To: [email protected]

From Musa Bello,

Director Foreign Operation Dept
World Wide Organization Plc
No.Plot 22 Williams Close
Vitoria Island, Lagos-NigeriaPhone--234-1-476-4516
Email [email protected]

Attn: Larry Flynt

This is to inform you that this Organization have waited invain for your Attorney to come and sign the Release Authority on your behalf for the release of your Fund to you.

Be informed that if we fail to hear from you in the next 24 working hours,your Application will be councilled and you have to re-aply with fee when next you are aplying for the release of this your Inheritance Fund to you.

Regards

M. Bello

Quote:

Date: Tue, 12 Jul 2005 11:09:47 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" <[email protected]> View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: From Musa Bello, (Director Foreign Operation Dept)
To: Send an Instant Message "Wide Organisation" <[email protected]>
Dear Mussy Below:

There has been some confusion and delay is the release of funds. Bannister Michael Sanko will no longer be representing my interests in this matter because of his frankly criminal incompetence. I do apologize for any expenses that you might have incurred on his behalf, but it is his love chambers that will have to pony up the money.

I do not yet have a suitable lawyer to handle this transaction; therefore, I choose to represent myself for this risky free transaction. Please direct all future legal corespondence to me.

Thank you,
Larry Flynt

Quote:

Date: Tue, 12 Jul 2005 11:17:03 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" <[email protected]> View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: Try and understand
To: [email protected]
Dear Easy Ozzy:

Well, I got a letter recently from Musa Below that said that our 'attorney' failed to contact their chambers in a timely manner. What a bunch of shit. Well, don't worry Easy, because I told Musy that our "attorney" was liable of 100% of the expenses incurred because of his incompetence! That will teach him, won't it!

Meanwhile, I have assured that Bello guy that I will be representing myself in all legal matters from this point forward. That way, we can avoid the expense of having a lawyer at all! I know, you're wishing you had thought of that idea first. But that's what we call "Good old American Know-How", and it may be a big reason why Bob Geldof has to hold concerts for your backwards, corrupt continent and not mine.

Anyway, I think that with our two heads working together on this problem, we will have all our modalities in place. Just think, Easy, by this time next week, we will be sniffing lines of china white off the tight abs of the best Haitian female escorts in town! I hope you're excited by these modalities, becuase God know that I am!

Remain blessed,
Larry Flynt

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To: [email protected]
Subject: Thanks for your understanding
Date: Wed, 13 Jul 2005 10:28:52 +0100

Dear Larry

I got your mail and all was understood,once you stated that you can do
it
better,well that is ok ,let see what the security company will say
next,but
you have to know that we have no more time to delay regards to this
transaction.

Please try to do your best for us to have this fund.

Regards
Ossy Eze

Quote:

Date: Wed, 13 Jul 2005 05:54:07 -0700 (PDT)
From: Send an Instant Message "Wide Organisation" <[email protected]> Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: From Musa Bello, (Director Foreign Operation Dept)
To: [email protected]

From Musa Bello,

Director Foreign Operation Dept
World Wide Organization Plc
No.Plot 22 Williams Close
Vitoria Island, Lagos-NigeriaPhone--234-1-476-4516
Email [email protected]

Attn: Larry

This is to notify you that this Organization is highly in surport of your taking care of the direct release of your Fund to you,with special regards to working as an Attorney yourself.

In that it means that you will have to come down here in Nigeria to sign the Release Authority and Obtain a Sworn Affidavit from High Court.

In as much as the Organization welcome this your idea of appearing by yourself,let me make it clear to you that you still have to pay little amount of money at the High Court for the Affidavit/change of Ownership to the High Registry for this vital Documents to be issued to you for the immediate release and transfer of this Fund to you.

If on the other hand,you need the Organization to ascertain on your behalf what it entails to obtain this documents from the High Court,then write back to the Organization,so as that you the Organization will give the detailed cost of having the Document from the High Court .

Regards.

M Bello

(Director Foreign Operation Dept)

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To: [email protected]
Subject: our stand
Date: Fri, 15 Jul 2005 10:48:18 +0100

Dear Larry Flynt
How are you today?
I did not hear from you since my last mail to you,please what is
happening,have you be enble to hear from M. Bello on how we will do
regards
how to get the fund.

If you do please try to update me so that i will know our stand.

Regards
Ossy Eze

Apparently I had better things to do than write back soonest.

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To: [email protected]
Subject: Think about it
Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2005 16:18:36 +0100

Hello Larry
Hope you are ok,i waited to hear from you since the last mail i sent to
you
regarding the money they are chargeing us for the pepar work.there is
no
other way
we should get this documents without going to the court for it.

So you have to think about it and get back to me.

Regards
Ossy Eze

Quote:

Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2005 15:09:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" <[email protected]> View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: Think about it
To: [email protected]
Dearest Ozzy:

Ozzy, I've been working hard, boning up on my Nigerian banking law all weekend. Its been fantastic! What a wonderful system of moneytary modalities you have! I will begin negotiations with the court post-haste, Easy.

Its looks like things are living up to you most Easy name. Tell me, Ozzy, how easy are you?

Calvary blessings,
Larry Flynt

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To: [email protected]
Subject: what is your stand
Date: Tue, 19 Jul 2005 11:37:48 +0100

Dear Larry
I can not understand you,listen we dont have much time which means we
do not
have to delay,we have to do things fast so that we will get this fund,

Kindly let me know your stand towards this transaction,so that i will
know
my own stand,have you reached the Attorney regards to the charges he
mention
so that we will know the next thing to do.

Please it is important we plan what to do and get this fund for our own
good.

Hope to hear from you ASAP.

Regards
Ossy Eze

We can probably forgive Ozzy's confusion. Usually when I write "Calvary Blessings", its quickly followed up by threats in Nigerian pidgin of how I am going to rape his livestock and set his children on fire, to say nothing of a frank discussion of his mother's pubic hair. So you can see, Ozzy is entirely correct to be on his guard for possible shenanigans.

Anyway, time to throw some more chum into the water.

Quote:

Date: Wed, 20 Jul 2005 08:46:06 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" <[email protected]> View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: From Musa Bello, (Director Foreign Operation Dept)
To: Send an Instant Message "Wide Organisation" <[email protected]>
Dearest Mussy:

I have acquired my plane tickets and shall be in Lagos on Friday, 7/22. Can you be at the airport to meet me? Security is of the utmost concern, so I may have to travel under an alias. Please let me know if you will meet me at the airport so that we can get the funds.

Larry Flynt

Quote:

Date: Wed, 20 Jul 2005 08:51:12 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" <[email protected]> View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: what is your stand
To: [email protected]
Dear Easy:

Blessings of the season to you, Easy! Guess what? I'm going to fly to Nigeria to pick up the money in person! Isn't that great? I have emailed Mussy Bello and hopefully he will pick me up from the airport.

I do want you to know that I am very concerned about security, even on email. For this reason, I ask that you address me as "Dirk McMeatnozzle" in all our further correspondence. If you do not call me by that name, I will assume that the email is sent to me by a fraud star like Jude Joe. Further, I shall address you by the pseudonym "Choad Lord". If you do not recieve an email from me calling you "Choad Lord", I shall have to assume that your email account has been hacked and you are trying to lure me into a fraud. I hope you understand this need for increased security.

Also, since I will be in Lagos on Friday, would you please send me a picture of yourself? That would be most helpful in case you wish to meet me at the airport.

Thanks in advance,
Dirk McMeatnozzle

Quote:

From: [email protected] Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To: [email protected]
Subject: That great/Urgent Reply needed
Date: Thu, 21 Jul 2005 11:37:20 +0100

Hello Dirk McMeatnozzle
I am happy with the advice you give to me regards to the security
reasons ,Well what did mr bello said in that regard ,if he agrees to
pick
you up from the airport that is very fine.

Have you send to him your air arrangement so that he will know when you
will
be in Nigeria, to me i will be very happy to meet you at the airport
too.

What you will do now is to send your international passport to me
,as you
know we have not see ourself before,so i need to know who i am
dealing
with,or know who i am going to meet at the airport.

You said you are coming on friday this week, for this reason you
have
to be fast in sending the passport to me,and also your air
arrangement
to know the time you will be here in Nigeria.

This will show me you are ready to do the transaction with me.I need
your
urgent reply asap.
Regards
Choad Lord

The mugus are beside themselves with glee at the thought of a stupid rich American of their very own to mug and leave for dead in a ditch.

Quote:

Date: Thu, 21 Jul 2005 06:54:49 -0700 (PDT)
From: Send an Instant Message "Wide Organisation" <[email protected]> Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: From Musa Bello, (Director Foreign Operation Dept)
To: [email protected]

From Musa Bello,

Director Foreign Operation Dept
World Wide Organization Plc
No.Plot 22 Williams Close
Vitoria Island, Lagos-NigeriaPhone--234-1-476-4516
Email [email protected]

Attn: Larry

Reference to your last mail to this Organization,regarding your willingness to come down to Nigeria and sign the Release Autority and equally obtain the AffIdavit/Change of Ownership on your name at the Federal High Court here in Nigeria.

We in this Organization are happy to receive you here in Nigeria and your are therefore Advised to forward to this Organization as a matter of urgency your travelling schedule,including the Air line name you are coming in with and a copy of your rent photo for easy iditification at the Air Port here on arrival,as our protocol department will be waiting at the Air Port to receive you on arrival.

Let it be known to you that if the Organization fail to receive your travelling shedule,we will not be held for any liable due to your inability to funish us with your travelling schedule that will help us pick you at the Air Port.

Regards

M Bello

Many thanks to the good people at orbitz.com for the "itinerary"

Quote:

Date: Thu, 21 Jul 2005 19:50:46 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" <[email protected]> View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: That great/Urgent Reply needed
To: [email protected]

Dearest Choad Lord:

Here is my intinerary... I leave for the airport
soonest!

Leave

Thu, Jul 21

Air Canada 162
Air Canada

Depart: 11:50pm
Arrive: 7:15am
2 stops

Vancouver, Canada (YVR)
Toronto, Canada (YYZ)
Economy | 4hr 25min | Airbus A320

Change planes. Time between flights: 1hr 35min

Air Canada 868
Air Canada

Depart: 8:50am
Arrive: 9:05pm

Toronto, Canada (YYZ)
London, United Kingdom (LHR)
Economy | 7hr 15min | Boeing 767

Change Airline. Time between flights: 15hr 0min

British Airways 75
British Airways

Depart: 12:05pm
Arrive: 6:30pm

London, United Kingdom (LHR)
Lagos, Nigeria (LOS)
Economy | 6hr 25min | Boeing 747
Total duration: 34hr 40min

The plan is for Mussy Below (his alias will be "Hand
Job") to meet me at the airport. I think you should be
there too, so that we can get our funds without a
hitch. Remember, Choad Lord, this is not a child's
play! See you soonest!

Thanks,
Dirk McMeatnozzle

Quote:

Date: Thu, 21 Jul 2005 19:48:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" <[email protected]> View Contact Details View Contact Details
Subject: Re: From Musa Bello, (Director Foreign Operation Dept)
To: Send an Instant Message "Wide Organisation" <[email protected]>

Hi there, Mussy boy!

Here is my scheduled itenerary. I tried to scan in my
photo, but I can't figure out how to work the scanner.
That's probably because it is a GE product, and
anything I ahve ever owned by GE has either caught on
fire or gotten really really hot after you plug it in.

Leave

Thu, Jul 21

Air Canada 162
Air Canada

Depart: 11:50pm
Arrive: 7:15am
2 stops

Vancouver, Canada (YVR)
Toronto, Canada (YYZ)
Economy | 4hr 25min | Airbus A320

Change planes. Time between flights: 1hr 35min

Air Canada 868
Air Canada

Depart: 8:50am
Arrive: 9:05pm

Toronto, Canada (YYZ)
London, United Kingdom (LHR)
Economy | 7hr 15min | Boeing 767

Change Airline. Time between flights: 15hr 0min

British Airways 75
British Airways

Depart: 12:05pm
Arrive: 6:30pm

London, United Kingdom (LHR)
Lagos, Nigeria (LOS)
Economy | 6hr 25min | Boeing 747
Total duration: 34hr 40min

Anyway, for security reasons, I shall be travelling
under the name "Dirk McMeatnozzle". Please has the
sign ready with this name on it while you wait for me
at the airport. for security reasons, I shall refer to
you as "Hand Job".

thanks,
Dirk McMeatnozzle

Hilarity to ensue at the Lagos airport tomorrow evening!

Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:56 pm

Huh. they never met me at the airport. Or maybe I never went. I'm not sure, but there was a miscommunication somewhere.

Quote:

Date: Sat, 23 Jul 2005 08:41:45 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details
Subject: Thanks for nothing
To: "Wide Organisation" <[email protected]>

Hi asshole

Thank you for not picking me up from the fucking
airport. That was really professional of you. No
wonder Nigeria is such an armpit. I don't know if the
rest of your little country is as fucked as Lagos is,
becuase if it is, you are in deep shit my friend.

Do you people even bury the dead? I ask that because I
swear to God that I tripped over a human arm in the
street this morning. If you can still be bothered to
help me, I am staying at the Protea Hotel Victoria
Island under the name Dirk McMeatnozzle. Stop by so we
can get down to business and I can leave this
Godforsaken country.

Dirk McMeatnozzle.

I haven't heard from my esteemed Nigerian business partners. That's ok, because apparently I got a little "carried away" in my hotel room.

Quote:

Date: Mon, 25 Jul 2005 12:42:08 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" <> View Contact Details
Subject: I need help
To: [email protected]

Hello Ozzy/Choad Lord:

Well, so far my time here in Nigeria has been one nightmare after another. First, nobody picked me up from the airport. Secondly, there is no hot water in this hotel. Lastly, I'm not sure what to do with the three decapitated prostitutes in my hotel room. I have to admit that I am no expert when it comes to Nigerian criminal law, but I'm guessing that headless dead whores are in some way illegal. I've had the "do not disturb" sign on the doorknob for two straight days to keep housekeeping at bay, and I can only really go out at night to the internet cafes to get in contact with you. A white man with blood soaked clothes tends to draw attention here in Lagos, and that's not the kind of attention that I need right now. I'm trying to get on-line to book a flight back to the US, or another country with a weak extradition treaty with Nigeria as soon as possible. Fortunately, I payed for my room with cash, so there won't be too much of a paper trail.

Bottom line, Easy: I won't be able to meet you or the ministers of Final Justice or whatever the fuck they're called. I also probably won't be able to come back into your country until there is another coup d'etat or genocide or whatever you all have over there. I'll email you again when I get back into the US. Please keep me informed about things on your end.

Thanks,

Dirk McMeatnozzle / LArry Flynt

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 3

An enjoyable read Larry. Keep it up.

Earl

Guest

great read. some good laughs in there.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 24

Great job, Larry! Keep it coming!

Maybe Larry can go to another country to await the meeting and meanwhile send the lads on safari to meet him.

Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 1:35 pm

Fair play Mr Flynt, you had me laughing once again.

Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 2:35 pm

Thanks for the props, y'all! Too bad, but I think Ozzy Easy has bolted from my inbox permenantly. What the hell, it was fun while it lasted!

Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 6:27 pm

Nice, Larry Smile

Did the lad not try to sell you some wash-wash fluid for your messed-up clothes?? Shocked

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