Obnoxious first replies... (Read: Proof they do not read)

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 20 Jun 2005 Posts: 18

After reading a number of forum threads asking about what to write in the first emails, I've decided to see how far I can push the envelope without having a mugu flip out. Here are my experiments.

Edit: I've edited these emails only slightly to insert asterisks to break up curse words. Sorry for the coarse language, folks.

Email #1

Quote:

BR, GIOVASFOX
FORMER GROUP DIRECTOR
NIGERIA NATIONAL PETROLEUM CO-OPERATION
ATTN;MANAGING DIRECTOR
DEAR SIR,
MY NAME IS BR, GIOVASFOX .I AM THE FORMER GROUP MANAGING DIRECTOR
NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLUEM CO-OPERATIONS(NNPC) .I RESIDES IN THE
NNPC QUARTERS,VICTORIA GARDEN CITY, LAGOS,NIGERIA.
I CAME IN CONTACT WITH YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS IN MY CAREFULL SEARCH FOR A REPUTABLE AND RELIABLE FOREIGN PARTNER(A FRIEND AS WELL) THAT WILL ASSIST AND HELP ME TRANSFER MY MONEY INTO YOUR COUNTRY AND THEREAFTER WE DISCUSS THE INVESTMENT TO DO WITH THE MONEY AND THE LIKELY SHARE OF THE PROCEEDS FROM THE INVESTMENT BY THE GRACE OF GOD .HOWEVER,I HAVE FOUND YOU WORTHY OF THIS TRANSACTION AFTER MY CAREFULL THOUGHT.
AS THE FORMER GROUP MANAGING DIRECTOR,NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLUEM COOPERATIONS(NNPC),I OVERSAW THE MINING, REFINING, DISTRIBUTING,
EXPORTATIONS AND IMPORTATIONS OF THE NIGERIAN CRUDE OIL .AS YOU ARE AWARE,NIGERIAN CRUDE OIL ACCOUNTS FOR MORE THAN EIGHTY FIVE PERCENT OF THE NIGERIAN REVENUE AS A RESULT OF BOOM IN THE NIGERIAN OIL SECTOR ACCOMPANIED BY THE RISE IN THE GLOBAL OIL PRICE . I USED MY POSITION TO ACCUMULATE US$75,950,000.00(SEVENTY FIVE MILLION,NINE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) WHICH I DEPOSITED WITH A BANK.
WITH REFERENCE TO THE ECONOMIC CLIMATE IN NIGERIA COUPLE WITH THE FACT THAT MONEY OR INVESTMENT IS NOT SECURED IN NIGERIA, I HEREBY REQUEST YOUR HELP AND ASSISTANCE TO HELP ME TRANSFER THIS US$75,950,000.00(SEVENTY FIVE MILLION,NINE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) INTO YOUR COUNTRY SO THAT WE WORK TOGETHER AND INVEST THE MONEY IN A LUCRATIVE BUSINESS IN YOUR COUNTRY .WE SHALL ALSO DISCUSS IN DETAILS HOW WE WILL COMMIT OURSEVLES IN THE INVESTMENT AND THE LIKELY SHARE OF THE PROCEEDS FROM THE INVESTMENT .

I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY INTO YOUR COUNTRY SO THAT WE BEGIN THE BUSINESS IN EARNEST. MY FAMILY LAWYER;JUSTICE MUSTAPHA AKANBI WILL ALSO ASSIST US TO FACILATE THE TRANSFER OF THIS US$75,950,000.00 INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.I WILL LIKE YOU TO KEEP THIS INVESTMENT PROJECT CONFIDENTIAL UNTIL WE START IT IN EARNEST.I WILL GIVE YOU A 20% GRATIFICATION AS SOON A THIS US$75,950,000.00 IS TRANSFERED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.I WILL ALSO REFUND YOU ALL THE MONEY YOU WILL SPEND IN THE COURSE OF TRANSFERING THIS US$75,950,000.00 INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.
ON YOUR RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL,LET ME HEAR FROM YOU SO THAT WE KNOW THE NEXT LINE OF ACTION AS REGARDS THIS INVESTMENT PROJECT .PLEASE CONTACT ME BY EMAIL .MY TWO EMAIL ADDRESSES ARE SHOWN ABOVE. I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU ON YOUR RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL.REMEMBER TO GIVE ME YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS IN YOUR REPLY FOR EASY cOMMUNICATIONS.CONTACT ME BY EMAIL ON YOUR RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL SO THAT WE DISCUSS MORE ABOUT OUR INVESTMENT PARTNERSHIP IN YOUR
COUNTRY.
AS I AWAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU , REMAIN BLESSED.
REGARDS
BR, GIOVAS FOX.
FORMER GROUP MANAGING DIRECTOR
NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CO-OPERATIONS
NIGERIA .

My reply

Quote:

Hmmm... Very interesting. I will file your request alongside the
other 150 identical email messages that I've received today. I sh*t
on your proposal. Suck an egg and die please. Thank you.

Dr. XXXXXXX

To which I received the following:

Quote:

Dear, xxxxxxxxxxxxx
How are you doing today? I hope and strongly believe that you are doing great and bouncing in good health.
I got your mail and must thank you so much in the first place for showing your interest in assisting me to achieve the needed success in this my life time opportunity.
For us to start, i want you to understand that this is a deal between you and my self, so you must approach every co response with every seriousness, utmost honesty and confidentiality so you must keep your mouth shot and don't discuss this deal with any body around you because you don't know who is your enemy and might be jealous of your progress.
The best way for us to move this fund out of this country is moving the fund as a contract fund which i have perfected all the needed underground arrangement and has successfully moved the fund to the security company in my country that is in charge of paying foreign contractors, so this fund will be moved out of this country in your name as a contractor and must be released to you as a contract payment. This is the only way we can have this fund moved out of this country because my country has fund restriction so it only contract fund could be moved out of this country without any question or suspicion.
Upon this arrangement which i have perfected, all i need from you is for your to furnish me with your residential address, company address, your telephone number and copy of your international passport.
Note that once i receive this information demanded above, it will be used in obtaining all the necessary contract certificates that will prove and back up this fund in your name as a contract payment. I am spending heavily to achieve and perfect all this underground arrangement so you must bear with me by making sure that you protect my interest knowing fully well that this is a deal we are doing.
I will also send to you a copy of my international passport and a copy of me and my wife picture so that you can have a look of me.

Your urgent reply will be appreciated a soon as you receive this mail.
Be fine,BR, GIOVASFOX
Regards,

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 20 Jun 2005 Posts: 18

Email 1

Quote:

ATTN :
> Dear Sir,
> I'm intrested in investing the sum of US$4,260.000.00
> million(Four million,two hundred and sixty thousand dollarsUS) in
> your establishment as professional man.
>
> My client late Col M Garba, a Military Commander with POLISARIO
> (Political Front for the Liberation of Western Sahara) and also a member of
> council of the National Secretariat of Western Saha(Saharawi Democratic
> Republic.He was however got killed in a battle in january 2004.
>
> Before his death,he was given some funds(by international donors to procure
> ammunitions for POLISARIO and he later deposited part of the funds in a bank
> vault in whose name I can not disclose for now for security reasons until
> we open up communication.
>
> As a matter of fact,the struggle for liberation of the Saharawi people
> enjoyed funding from private,religious and corporate organizations who
> recognizes their struggles.They are the one who assist/aid with
> funds and materials in prosecution of the war.
>
> This business is 100% free risk,I need you as a foreign partner also
> as a professional man to perfect the operation.I will provide the document
> and informations needed to actualise the claim of this deposited fund in the
> bank vault.
>
> The fund is in the bank vault for safe keeping. Please let me know weither
> you will be handling it as individual or company.
> Your urgent reply is most needed.Thanks and I wish we have a pleasurable
> business transactions.
>
> If your reday and capable to help me, get back to me as to enable us
> discus the modalities.Please reply through this mail
> Email address: [email protected]
>
> Yours Faithfully,
> Miss Citia Amaru.

My Reply

Quote:

I want you to take your millions, turn it sideways and shove it up your *ss.

Thank you.

"Her" Response:

Quote:

Dear Dr. xxxxxxxxxxx,
Many thanks for respons to my mail.as i said in my first mail to you
my client late Col M Garba, a Military Commander with POLISARIO
(Political Front for the Liberation of Western Sahara) and also a
member of council of the National Secretariat of Western Saha(Saharawi
Democratic Republic.He was however got killed in a battle in january
2004.
Before his death,he was given some funds(by international donors to
procure ammunitions for POLISARIO and he later deposited part of the
funds in a bank vault in whose name I can not disclose for now for
security reasons until we open up communication.

When my late client was alive he deposited the sum of US$4,260.000.00
million(Four million,two hundred and sixty thousand dollarsUS) in your
establishment as professional man. with in a bank vault in Togo
Lome.

This business is 100% free risk,I need you as a foreign partner also
as a professional man to perfect the operation.I will provide the document
and informations needed to actualise the claim of this deposited fund
in the bank vault in Togo Lome.

I need your full name,oocpution,tel,fax and country, so that the
lawyer we arrnage the document to issue a letter of authorisation so
that you will contact the bank vault in Togo Lome.

Please,I beg you in the name of God to help me collect the
deposit and the interest accrued from the company and distribute it
accordingly. I want a person that is God fearing that will use this
money to fund

I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the
new beneficiary of this fund..

Hoping to hearing from you soon.
Miss.Cintia Amaru.

[/quote]
"She" used the name from the signature in my previous email, and not the name associated with the email account... so, she had to have at least opened the message...

Update!
Cintia has sent another message to my account after several days of silenec on my part. She, once again, quoted my original response to her letter within the copy of her response.

Quote:

Dear Dr.Andre Romel Young,
Many thanks for respons to my mail.as i said in my first mail to you my client late Col M Garba, a Military Commander with POLISARIO (Political Front for the Liberation of Western Sahara) and also a member of council of the National Secretariat of Western Saha(Saharawi Democratic Republic.He was however got killed in a battle in january 2004.
Before his death,he was given some funds(by international donors to procure ammunitions for POLISARIO and he later deposited part of the funds in a bank vault in whose name I can not disclose for now for security reasons until we open up communication.

When my late client was alive he deposited the sum of US$4,260.000.00 million(Four million,two hundred and sixty thousand dollarsUS) in your establishment as professional man. with in a bank vault in Togo Lome.

This business is 100% free risk,I need you as a foreign partner also
as a professional man to perfect the operation.I will provide the document
and informations needed to actualise the claim of this deposited fund in the bank vault in Togo Lome.

I need your full name,oocpution,tel,fax and country, so that the lawyer we arrnage the document to issue a letter of authorisation so that you will contact the bank vault in Togo Lome.

Please,I beg you in the name of God to help me collect the
deposit and the interest accrued from the company and distribute it accordingly. I want a person that is God fearing that will use this money to fund

I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the new beneficiary of this fund..

Hoping to hearing from you soon.
Miss.Cintia Amaru.

Andre Romel Young <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>I want you to take your millions, turn it sideways and shove it up your >*ss.
>
>Thank you.
> -Dr. Dre
>
>

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