The Fabulous Femi Adams

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 4:35 am

A fair sized little bait, with a satisfying slap at the end. For some reason, this lad seemed to beg for abuse far more than the average lad.

Femi obviously got my email address from someone I baited previously, because it comes to my baiting address directly, it begins as though I have had contact with the bank before, and so on. However, I consider it a self-contained bait.

Despite the fact that Femi obviously got it from another baiter, and the fact that my email is hannah-lanham, he still gets my damned gender wrong. Strike one!

Quote:

DEAR SIR,
THIS IS TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT YOUR FILE IS WITH US NOW, AND WE WILL LIKE YOU TO RECONFIRM YOUR BANKING PARTICULARS, TO ENABLE US EFFECT YOUR TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT UNDER 48 HOURS WITHOUT WASTING TIME.

THIS IS TO AVOID PAYING A WRONG CUSTOMERS, IF YOU ARE THE ORIGINAL BENEFICIARY OF THIS FUND IN QUESTION $15 MILLION USD.

FEEL FREE TO CALL ME 234 8038371221

THANKS, I WAIT YOUR URGENT RESPOND.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

FEMI ADAMS

DIRECTOR OF FOREIGN PAYMENT.
C.B.N REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT.

But don't worry, he corrects it in the next mail! No, they won't be suspicious at all if I put SIR/MADAM!

Quote:

DEAR SIR/MADAM
THIS IS TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT YOUR FILE IS WITH US NOW, AND WE WILL LIKE YOU TO RECONFIRM YOUR BANKING PARTICULARS, TO ENABLE US EFFECT YOUR TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT UNDER 48 HOURS WITHOUT WASTING TIME.

THIS IS TO AVOID PAYING A WRONG CUSTOMERS, IF YOU ARE THE ORIGINAL BENEFICIARY OF THIS FUND IN QUESTION $15 MILLION USD.

FEEL FREE TO CALL ME 234 8038371221

THANKS, I WAIT YOUR URGENT RESPOND.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

FEMI ADAMS

DIRECTOR OF FOREIGN PAYMENT.
C.B.N REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT

Confident I am not dealing with a brain surgeon, I reply.

Quote:

>
> DEAR SIR,

I'm not a sir. I really do wish you people could get that straight.

> THIS IS TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT YOUR FILE IS WITH US NOW, AND WE
WILL LIKE YOU TO RECONFIRM YOUR BANKING PARTICULARS, TO ENABLE US EFFECT YOUR
TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT UNDER 48 HOURS WITHOUT WASTING TIME.

What particulars do I need to reconfirm?

Hannah Lanham

>
> THIS IS TO AVOID PAYING A WRONG CUSTOMERS, IF YOU ARE THE ORIGINAL
BENEFICIARY OF THIS FUND IN QUESTION $15 MILLION USD.
>
> FEEL FREE TO CALL ME 234 8038371221
>
> THANKS, I WAIT YOUR URGENT RESPOND.
>
> YOURS FAITHFULLY,
>
> FEMI ADAMS
>
> DIRECTOR OF FOREIGN PAYMENT.
> C.B.N REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT.

Well, Femi does manage to reply. He even underlines Madam for me, this time.

Quote:

DEAR MADAM,

THANKS FOR YOUR EARLY REPLY PLEASE RECONFIRM YOUR BANKING PARTICULARS, TO ENABLE US EFFECT PAYMENT.

WE NEED YOUR TELE PHONE NUMBER AND FAX NUMBER FOR EASY COMMUNICATIONS, TO AVOID PAYING A WRONG CUSTOMER, FEEL FREE TO CALL ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION AS REGARDS TO THIS TRANSACTION.

I WAIT YOUR REPLY.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

FEMI ADAMS

Classy. I give hm the usual song and dance. And set the stage for a very cranky would-be victim.

Quote:

>
>
> DEAR MADAM,
>
>
> THANKS FOR YOUR EARLY REPLY PLEASE RECONFIRM YOUR BANKING >PARTICULARS,
TO ENABLE US EFFECT PAYMENT.

For the millionth time, Black Finance, Morgana Washington Account number
B543-114 in the name of Hannah Lanham.

>
> WE NEED YOUR TELE PHONE NUMBER AND FAX NUMBER FOR EASY COMMUNICATIONS, TO
AVOID PAYING A WRONG CUSTOMER, FEEL FREE TO CALL ME IF YOU HAVE ANY
QUESTION AS REGARDS TO THIS TRANSACTION.
>
> I WAIT YOUR REPLY.
>
> YOURS FAITHFULLY,
>
> FEMI ADAMS

Phone 206-343-0011
Fax 206-666-3170

Hannah

This boy obviously still has the training wheels on. He's barely opened the Lad Starting Kit.

Quote:

DEAR MADAM,
WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECIPT OF YOUR PARTICULARS, AND EARLY REPLY, PLEASE BEAR IN MIND. YOU HAVE TO VALIDATE YOUR CONTRACT WINNING DOCUMENTS TO ENABLE US UP DATE YOUR ACCOUNT HERE, BECAUSE THE DOCUMENTS WHICH YOU ARE HAVING HAS EXPIRED AS AT LAST DEC. 2004.

IT WAS DONE AGAINST 2004 AND WE ARE NOW IN 2005. WITH THIS IN ODER FOR US TO PROCEED YOUR ARE REQUIRED TO PROVIDE TO THIS OFFICE CERTIFICATE OF LEGALITY 2005.OR YOU COME OVER HERE TO SIGN YOUR RELEASE ORDER CERTIFICATE.

WITH THE ABOVE MENTIONED, DOCUMENT YOU WILL BE ENTITLE FOR THE REMITTANCE OF YOUR FUND INTO YOUR DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT OF YOUR CHOICE.
IF YOU DO NOT HAVE THIS SAME DOCUMENT YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PAY $1650
DOLLARS FOR THE SAME DOCUMENT.
THANKS I WAIT YOUR REPLY.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
FEMI ADAMS

Muh. Huh. Not going to be that easy, Femi.

Quote:

> DEAR MADAM,
> WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECIPT OF YOUR PARTICULARS, AND EARLY REPLY, PLEASE BEAR
IN MIND. YOU HAVE TO VALIDATE YOUR CONTRACT WINNING DOCUMENTS TO
ENABLE US UP DATE YOUR ACCOUNT HERE, BECAUSE THE DOCUMENTS WHICH YOU ARE
HAVING HAS EXPIRED AS AT LAST DEC. 2004.
>

And whose fucking fault is it that this thing ran over into 2005? Yours. You
people lose my information, don't get back to me in all this time, and you
have the gall to tell me that my documents have expired?
Un-fucking-believable.

> IT WAS DONE AGAINST 2004 AND WE ARE NOW IN 2005. WITH THIS IN ODER
FOR US TO PROCEED YOUR ARE REQUIRED TO PROVIDE TO THIS OFFICE
CERTIFICATE OF LEGALITY 2005.OR YOU COME OVER HERE TO SIGN YOUR RELEASE
ORDER CERTIFICATE.
>
> WITH THE ABOVE MENTIONED, DOCUMENT YOU WILL BE ENTITLE FOR THE
REMITTANCE OF YOUR FUND INTO YOUR DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT OF YOUR
CHOICE.
> IF YOU DO NOT HAVE THIS SAME DOCUMENT YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PAY $1650
> DOLLARS FOR THE SAME DOCUMENT.
> THANKS I WAIT YOUR REPLY.
> YOURS FAITHFULLY,
> FEMI ADAMS

I'm not paying you fuck-all. I already paid to get this document for 2004. And
thanks to the incompetence on your end, it takes another two months to get
this thing rolling. You can just fix it. If you think I'm coming up with
another $1650 just because you people can't get your shit together, you have
another think coming.

Hannah

Geez, he's a rubber lad. Just bounces back for more.

Quote:

ATTN.
DEAR HANNAH,
I AM HAPPY TO INFORM YOU THAT THE CBN OF NIGERIA HAS FINALLY APPROVED YOUR PAYMENT FROM THEIR OFFSHORE PAYMENT CENTRE IN CANADA.PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT THE BANK WITH THE INFORMATION BELOW:
INTERCONTINENTAL FINANCE SERVICES CANADA

CONTACT
MR GEORGE OWEN
Tel: 416 833 9732
Fax: 416 352 5809
WEDSITE: www.interconfinanceservices.com
Email : [email protected]

I WILL BE HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU AS SOON AS YOU CONTACT THE BANK OR THE BANK CONTACTS YOU.

REGARDS.

FEMI ADAMS.

I eagerly check the URL. If memory serves, it was shut down by the provider even before I got there. Oh, Femi. Slap!

Quote:

Are you sure your information is correct? That website is still under
construction.

Hannah

Oh, but Femi's real wily. Not.

Quote:

ATTN.

DEAR HANNAH,

THANK YOU FOR YOUR MAIL YESTERDAY.I ARRIVED LONDON UK YESTERDAY AND WAS UNABLE TO CHECK MY MAIL AGAIN THAT YESTERDAY.

YES I NOTICED THAT THE WEBSITE WAS UNDER CONSTRUCTION BUT YOU CAN SEND FAX OR CALL MY OWEN SO AS TO TELL HIM TO TRANSFER THE FUND TO YOUR ACCOUNT.

FURTHER, I AM HERE AS A DELEGATE OF CBN TO MEET WITH THE TOP OFFICIALS OF BARCLAYS BANK ON OTHER ISSUES CONCERNING FOREIGN CONTRACTORS,FEEL FREE TO CALL ME ON +447040-117459 FOR FURTHER DISCUSSION.

I AM WAITING FOR YOUR CALL.

REGARDS.

FEMI ADAMS

I decide to fish for more sites to kill. And to give Femi a hard time. You can't fool me just by mentioning Barclays.

Quote:

Sorry, but I don't trust a bank that can't even get its act together in this
amount of time in regards to its website. I've waited days, and the site still
isn't up. I mean, even my tiny local bank has a working website. Is there some
other bank or website that we can use?

Hannah

Okay, now Femi just starts making crap up.

Quote:

DEAR HANNAH,

I MUST TELL YOU THAT I AM NOT HAPPY WITH THE WAY YOU ARE HANDLING THIS TRANSACTION. THE INFORMATION I SENT TO YOU WAS NOT FROMME BUT CBN OF NIGERIA.

I CALLED MR OWEN CONCERNING THIS TRANSACTION AND HE TOLD ME FROM LONDON THAT HE HAS SENT YOU THE DETAILS ON HOW WE CAN GET THIS MONEY IN YOUR ACCOUNT AND UP TILL NOW YOU HAVE NOT MAKE ANY MOVE.

PLEASE DIRECT ALL YOUR QUESTION TOMR OWEN AND NOT ME.I TOLD YOU TO CALL HIMOR SEND FAX BUT YOU DONT WANT TO DO IT,WHY?

I WAIT FOR YOUR RESPONSE AS SOON AS YOU REACH MR OWEN.

REGARDS.

ADAMS

NB:
I AM BACK TO NIGERIA AND MY NEW NUMBER IS 234 803 378 4741.PLEASE CALL ME SO THAT WE DISCUSS MORE ABOUT THESE.

Give me a website, or bend over and let me spank you, Femi!

Quote:

> DEAR HANNAH,
>
>
> I MUST TELL YOU THAT I AM NOT HAPPY WITH THE WAY YOU ARE HANDLING THIS
TRANSACTION. THE INFORMATION I SENT TO YOU WAS NOT FROMME BUT CBN OF
NIGERIA.
>
> I CALLED MR OWEN CONCERNING THIS TRANSACTION AND HE TOLD ME FROM LONDON
THAT HE HAS SENT YOU THE DETAILS ON HOW WE CAN GET THIS MONEY IN YOUR ACCOUNT
AND UP TILL NOW YOU HAVE NOT MAKE ANY MOVE.
>
> PLEASE DIRECT ALL YOUR QUESTION TOMR OWEN AND NOT ME.I TOLD YOU TO CALL
HIMOR SEND FAX BUT YOU DONT WANT TO DO IT,WHY?
>

Because that website you sent me doesn't work. No legitimate bank, in thsi day
and age, doesn't have a working website. A day, maybe two, it might be down.
But not this long. I don't trust people when I can't even verify independently
that the bank they work for exists.

Until I can verify that there is a Mr. Owen, and that he works at CBN, and
that CBN is a legitimate bank, I won't be making another move. There's
something very shady about this business.

Hannah

Femi has a brain cramp, suddenly forgets how to read an email reply that makes use of in-line comments, and replies thusly. I think he must have read the rest of the lad instructions and hurt himself. Mind you, his reply even requotes my entire message to him! Including the bit he can't "foung".

Quote:

Dear Hannah,
PLEASE RESEND YOUR MAIL AS I CAN NOT FOUNG ANYTHING ON IT.

REGARDS.

ADAMS

Ah, it's abuse time. I reply, and copy and paste my last comments up at the top. I figure even Femi can figure that out.

Quote:

Here, I'll make it easy for you.

Here was my last message.

Because that website you sent me doesn't work. No legitimate bank, in this
day
and age, doesn't have a working website. A day, maybe two, it might be down.
But not this long. I don't trust people when I can't even verify
independently
that the bank they work for exists.

Until I can verify that there is a Mr. Owen, and that he works at CBN, and
that CBN is a legitimate bank, I won't be making another move. There's
something very shady about this business.

Hannah

Femi finally comes out of annoying all caps mode.

Quote:

Dear Hannah,

I have gone to lay thesame complain to cbn of nigeria and the ask me to recomfirm your details.Please resend your telephone and fax numbers to me immediately so that some thing can be done immediately.

Please call me so that i can explain more about this to you.

Regards.

Femi Adams
234 8033 7847 41

But Hannah's damned stubborn.

Quote:

> Dear Hannah,
>
> I have gone to lay thesame complain to cbn of nigeria and the ask me to
recomfirm your details.Please resend your telephone and fax numbers to me
immediately so that some thing can be done immediately.
>

You already have all my contact details. And I fail to see how calling or
faxing me changes the fact that CBN does not have a working website.

Hannah

Femi has another brain cramp and fails reading comprehension. Or Scrollbar 101. Again, he replies to me with the entire text of the message i sent him in the first place, but he can't find my comments.

Quote:

Dear Hannah,
please resend your mail as i can not find anything to read.

Regards.

Adams

As this is a truly wonderful invitation to slap, I do.

Quote:

What the fuck is wrong with you that you can't scroll down to the bottom and
read, Femi? Do you have a learning disability? Are you not familiar wiht the
practice of bottom posting? You put your remarks after the first person's
email, the bit you are responding to, so it has some context. But, here, I'll
make it simple for you.

Copied and pasted from RIGHT HERE INSIDE THIS EMAIL THAT YOU JUST REPLIED TO:

You already have all my contact details. And I fail to see how calling or
faxing me changes the fact that CBN does not have a working website.

Hannah Lanham

Femi pitifully replies with the subject "please dont insult me", and the following body.

Quote:

Dear Hannah,
I dont think it has come to the stage of insulting me.why?I want you to note that Nigeria is not a country like USA where there is law and order.some one else can seat on this fund if care is not taken.please comfirm your banking information once again as well with your fax and phone numbers so that something good can be done or do you think i am happy working without seen money?

I told you i have made thesame report before i was told to comfirm your details.

i wait for your response.

Adams

Tired of Femi, I decide to put on my flame retardant underwear and really let him have it.

Quote:

> Dear Hannah,
> I dont think it has come to the stage of insulting me.why?

Why? Because you are the most incredibly stupid, incompetent, useless cretin I
have ever come across, that's why. Damn it, Femi, are you all there? I mean,
could you find your own behind with a map, both hands, a flashlight and a
hired guide? You can't even operate your own email program, and I'm supposed
to trust you with money? I don't think so. Learn how to operate a scroll bar,
then we'll talk.

>I want you to note that Nigeria is not a country like USA where there is >law
and order.

And what the hell does this have to do with your special inability to use your
brain?

>some one else can seat on this fund if care is not taken.please comfirm >your
banking information once again as well with your fax and phone >numbers so
that something good can be done or do you think i am happy >working without
seen money?

You know what, Femi? You are the most incompetent person I have ever had the
pleasure of working with. Fuck off. Take my details and stick them up your
arse. I already gave them to you. If you misplaced them, tough luck. I don't
see a website, I don't see any outside confirmation that your "contact" at CBN
exists, and most importantly, I don't see any demonstration of intelligence or
competence from you. I'm not doing business with you. Shove off. Go take a
long walk off a short pier. Make like a tree and leave. Do the world a favor
and play in traffic. Don't bother contacting me again, Femi. You're pathetic.

>
> I told you i have made thesame report before i was told to comfirm your
details.
>
> i wait for your response.
>
> Adams

I swear, it's like talking to a cinder block. No, scratch that, a cinder block
is more intelligent and quicker on the uptake.

Hannah

Femi seems to have disappeared in a puff of logic, or something, as he never replied again. Or maybe I reduced him to ash, as he didn't seem too stable to begin with. Or perhaps I gave him a fatal brain cramp in asking him to be logical. Still, he was fun to mess with, and it required very little effort.

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 4:55 am

I make it a point to always read your baits. Thanks for the laughs.

Buzzy

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 9:01 pm

Aw, shuckins! I can't believe anyone else finds my baits all that interesting or funny. I usually post baits figuring I'm striking a blow for all of us boring straight baiters who don't go "Woo! I'm a baiter!" at the end, or at the very least, proving that a bait can fall flat on its face without shame.

Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 5:54 pm

In a miraculous recovery, this lad went all "Zombie" on me and returned from the grave, for a bit more oddity.

Femi pops back up in May, after a couple of months of silence.

Quote:

DEAR HANNAH,
SEQUEL TO SOLID ARRANGEMENT TO MOVE THIS FUNDS BY TELEGRAPHIC TRANSFER,WHICH WAS UNSUCCESSFUL .

A NEW ARRANGEMENT HAVE BEEN CONCLUDED TODAY THROUGH A DIPLOMATIC
EXPRESS CARGO,BE INFORMED THAT THE FUNDS $15M HAVE BEEN SHIPPED TO LONDONVIA TO YOUR COUNTRY LONDON BY DIPLOMATIC CARGO, HOWEVER I DID NOT LET THE DIPLOMAT, KNOW THE CONTENTS AS CLEAN CASH DOLLAR,IT WAS DELARE AS DIPLOMATIC DOCUMENTS TO AVOID BETRAYAL.

WHICH WAS TO ENANLE EASY ENTRANCE TO YOUR COUNTRY VIA TO YOUR DOMAIN.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO CONTACT DIPLOMAT ROY WILLIAMS EMAIL: [email protected],TELEPHONE

44 7835147970. THE ASSIGNED DIPLOMAT WILL BRING THE CONSIGNMENT DIRECTLY TO YOUR DOOR STEP YOUR COUNTRY U.S.A

PLEASE FORWARD YOUR TELEPHONE FAX NUMBER,YOUR FULL NAME, ADDRESS WHERE YOU WANT THIS CONSIGNMENT TO BE DELIVERD UPON HIS ARRIVAL IN U.S.A, LET HIM KNOW THAT I MR FEMI ADAMS OF C.B.N KNOW THE ACTUAL SITUATION OF THE CONSIGNMENT AND TIME OF ARRIVAL AND SHIPMENT ON YOUR COUNTRY AS YOU AS YOU ESTABLISH CONTACT WITH THE DIPLOMAT, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IMMEDIATELY TO ENABLE ME FURNISH YOU WITH THE SHIPMENTS DOCUMENTS.
FEEL FREE TO CALL ME 234 8030434059

THANKS, I WAIT YOUR URGENT RESPOND, NEVER YOU DISCLOSE THIS NEW DEVELOPMENT ANY BODY, IT IS FOR YOUR INTEREST, I AM DOING ALL THIS BECAUSE OF THE 10%PERCENT YOU PROMISSED ME.

AWAITING YOUR URGENT CALL,AS YOU RECEIVED THIS MESSAGE CALL THE DIPLOMAT, AND CALL ME. THIS ARRANGEMENT SUPERSEDE ANY OTHER ARRANGEMENT.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

FEMI ADAMS

DIRECTOR OF FOREIGN PAYMENT.
C.B.N REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT.

Never give up, people. It's inspiring.

As you should do with all good lads, I'm somewhat lazy and just settle for cuffing him about the ears, mostly.

Quote:

>
> DEAR HANNAH,
> SEQUEL TO SOLID ARRANGEMENT TO MOVE THIS FUNDS BY TELEGRAPHIC
TRANSFER,WHICH WAS UNSUCCESSFUL .

Unsuccessful, because you are the most incompetent person I have ever come
across, and you couldn't even prove your "contact" at the bank was real. Or
for that matter, that the bank was real. Is the website still down, Femi?

>
> A NEW ARRANGEMENT HAVE BEEN CONCLUDED TODAY THROUGH A DIPLOMATIC
> EXPRESS CARGO,BE INFORMED THAT THE FUNDS $15M HAVE BEEN SHIPPED TO
>LONDONVIA TO YOUR COUNTRY LONDON BY DIPLOMATIC CARGO,

So, they were shipped to London, the city, via London the country? And Femi, I
know you're no genius, but surely you don't think the STATE of Washington is
suddenly part of the same country as the English city London? Or have you been
drinking paint thinner again?

>HOWEVER I DID NOT LET THE DIPLOMAT, KNOW THE CONTENTS AS CLEAN CASH
>DOLLAR,IT WAS DELARE AS DIPLOMATIC DOCUMENTS TO AVOID BETRAYAL.

Ah, so, I'm supposed to trust this diplomat, despite the fact that YOU
obviously don't trust the diplomat enough to tell them what's in the shipment?
Sure.

>
>
> WHICH WAS TO ENANLE EASY ENTRANCE TO YOUR COUNTRY VIA TO YOUR DOMAIN.
> ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO CONTACT DIPLOMAT ROY WILLIAMS EMAIL:
[email protected],TELEPHONE
>
> 44 7835147970. THE ASSIGNED DIPLOMAT WILL BRING THE CONSIGNMENT DIRECTLY TO
YOUR DOOR STEP YOUR COUNTRY U.S.A

I'll believe it when I see it.

>
> PLEASE FORWARD YOUR TELEPHONE FAX NUMBER,YOUR FULL NAME, ADDRESS WHERE >YOU
WANT THIS CONSIGNMENT TO BE DELIVERD UPON HIS ARRIVAL IN U.S.A, LET >HIM KNOW
THAT I MR FEMI ADAMS OF C.B.N KNOW THE ACTUAL SITUATION OF THE >CONSIGNMENT
AND TIME OF ARRIVAL AND SHIPMENT ON YOUR COUNTRY AS YOU AS >YOU ESTABLISH
CONTACT WITH THE DIPLOMAT, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IMMEDIATELY >TO ENABLE ME
FURNISH YOU WITH THE SHIPMENTS DOCUMENTS.
> FEEL FREE TO CALL ME 234 8030434059

No, Femi, YOU contact the diplomat and let him knwo all that. YOU have my
name, phone number, and address already. It hasn't changed since I gave it to
you. YOU rattle the diplomat's cage about making sure they deliver the
consigment properly. YOU let him know you know the "actual situation of the
consignment and the time of arrival and shipment on my country", whatever the
hell that is supposed to mean. You get off YOUR lazy arse for a change and do
soemthing correctly. I'll be stunned if you can manage it. I'll even apologize
for saying the cinder block is more intelligent than you are, if you can
manage to actually pass along all that information

>
> THANKS, I WAIT YOUR URGENT RESPOND, NEVER YOU DISCLOSE THIS NEW
>DEVELOPMENT ANY BODY, IT IS FOR YOUR INTEREST, I AM DOING ALL THIS >BECAUSE
OF THE 10%PERCENT YOU PROMISSED ME.
>

You get 10% if you manage to give the diplomat the proper address and the
consignment makes it here. Let's consider it an intelligence test, Femi.

Let's see you prove you're WORTH 10%.

Hannah

Do the work for me Femi. Earn your cut.

But obviously he has not spent these two months or so taking reading comprehension classes. He just keeps harping on the same subject.

Quote:

Dear Hannah,
How far have you contacted the diplomat? yes or no?
Thanks For your message try and contact the Diplomat again for your interest, this is an , opportunity that you need not to miss in this your life time , try and call him on phone, try and do that now, by contacting the Diplomat now,and make sure you get back to me.or call me 234 8030404359

I await your urgent reply or call,

Thanks

Yours Faithfully,
Femi Adams

I offer Femi a bigger cut if he can prove himself decently competent. Of course 20% of nothing is still nothing...

Quote:

No, I haven't contacted the diplomat. I repeat what I said earlier.

YOU contact the diplomat. YOU have my name, phone number, and address already.
It hasn't changed since I gave it to you. YOU rattle the diplomat's cage about
making sure they deliver the consigment properly. YOU let him know you know
the "actual situation of the consignment and the time of arrival and shipment
on my country", whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. You get off YOUR
lazy arse for a change and do
soemthing correctly. I'll be stunned if you can manage it. I'll even apologize
for saying the cinder block is more intelligent than you are, if you can
manage to actually pass along all that information.

If you want 10%, EARN it. I'll even up it to 20% if you handle dealing with
the diplomat.

Hannah

He actually does show a decent flash of not-quite-brilliance here by trying to make me think someone else is trying to receive my consignment. I give him brownie points for that.

Quote:

Dear Hannah,

With reference to my last letter of shippment of your consignment to London via to your country, could you plse confirm if you have contacted Mr.Roy Williams through the email: [email protected]

However, this is prompted by a message recieved from: Mr Roy Williams that you have not contacted him to move the consignment to your country with the necessary requirements/mailing address. Rather someone came on your behalf that Mr. Roy Williams should send the consignment to his mailing address in Mexico.
Pls could you confirm the truth of this matter prior to this attempt upon your consent.

Thanks,
Waiting your urgent Reply.

Yours Faithfully.
Femi Adams

Okay, I'll play along.

Doesn't mean I won't abuse Femi, though.

Quote:

>
> Dear Hannah,
>
> With reference to my last letter of shippment of your consignment to London
via to your country, could you plse confirm if you have contacted Mr.Roy
Williams through the email: [email protected]

Damn it, Femi, you are completely useless. USELESS! You can't even get "YOU
contact the diplomat" through your incredibly thick skull! You aren't WORTH
ten percent! In fact, I barely think you're worth 5%, but I'll still cut you
in on that, just because I think you're too brain damaged to earn a living any
other way. I'm going to contact him, you completely incompetent, totally
useless little boy. Take your mouth off the goat's privates and come up for
some air or something. You seem to be oxygen-deprived.

>
> However, this is prompted by a message recieved from: Mr Roy Williams >that
you have not contacted him to move the consignment to your country >with the
necessary requirements/mailing address. Rather someone came on >your behalf
that Mr. Roy Williams should send the consignment to his >mailing address in
Mexico.

They're frauds then. See what you've done, Femi? Or rather, HAVEN'T done? You
can't even take the damned initiative, when I tell you to, to forward my
contact information to the diplomat on my behalf. YOU ARE WORTHLESS.

> Pls could you confirm the truth of this matter prior to this attempt upon
your consent.
>
> Thanks,
> Waiting your urgent Reply.
>
> Yours Faithfully.
> Femi Adams

I'm going to take care of this, but if you don't do a better job of this, I am
going to be cutting your share even further, you little worm. EARN your damned
money by getting something right for a change!

Hannah

I forward this to the diplomat.

Quote:

Femi is the most incredibly useless, worthless, incompetent rat on the face of
the earth. H was supposed to contact you on my behalf ages ago and let you
know where to deliver the consignment. I am most certainly NOT in Mexico. I'm
located in the state of Washington, and the consignment should be delivered
there.

Femi is ridiculously bad at following instructions. He shall be dealt with
accordingly. I apologize that he couldn't even follow the simplest of
directions, which I gave him TWICE, I might add, and contact you.

Hannah

Roy Williams, the diplomat, replies to me. With the subject "Frm:Royyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Um, overdoing that, much?

It's the beginning of a long, strange correspondence in which Roy alternately acts like a California stoner, a lad, and a netspeaky teen. Whatever he's smoking, it must be the good stuff.

Quote:

Mdm,Hannah

Pleasing me to recieve your mail dated 4/6/05 which your prophesy and rightious degree upon the live of Mr.Femi Adams is a complete manifestation and real.

However,it was to my suprise that complete details of your goodself was not presented which makes it imposicate to have the good delivered to its proper destination.at the point in tme

In any event, I await your further instruction before my departure.

Meanwhile,have a great day & Tnks,

From:Roy William

So, he starts out "classic lad".

I reply "classic baiter". And I make issue of the fact that his "From" name really does break the "reply to" until you edit it out.

Quote:

> Mdm,Hannah
>
> Pleasing me to recieve your mail dated 4/6/05 which your prophesy and
>rightious degree upon the live of Mr.Femi Adams is a complete >manifestation
and real.

So you agree he's a completely farking useless moron?

>
> However,it was to my suprise that complete details of your goodself was >not
presented which makes it imposicate to have the good delivered to its >proper
destination.at the point in tme

I live at 453 Pilot Way, Morgana Washington. The house is very easy to find
onece you make it to Morgana. Let me know when you should arrive, and I'll
take off time from work to be available for the delivery.

>
> In any event, I await your further instruction before my departure.

Get a move on and get it here so I can give Femi his pathetic little 10% and
get the little worm out of my hair, please.

>
> Meanwhile,have a great day & Tnks,
>
> From:Roy William
>
>
>

Hannah Lanham

P.S. Please take the "@" symbol out of your "Sender Name". The email address
screws up trying to reply to you. Change "Br.Cargo Broadcast
[email protected]" to just "Br.Cargo Broadcast". No need to repeat the
email address and force people you correspond with to edit their "To" line
every time they email you.

Femi is just a one-note broken record.

Quote:

Dear Hannah,
How far have you contacted the diplomat? Be serious for once and stop your idea of embarrasings people that are in possition to help us out of collecting this long time fund $15 millon dollars it is not a pin nut deal.

Thanks For your message try and contact the Diplomat again for your interest, this is an , opportunity that you need not to miss in this your life time , try and call him on phone, try and do that now, by contacting the Diplomat now,and make sure you get back to me.or call me, to know how far? if you have collect the consignment, please bear in mind concerning my own share,
234 8030404359
I await your urgent reply or call,
Thanks
Yours Faithfully,
Femi Adams

Awww... I embarrassed him. Isn't that sweet?

Roy's quiet a bit, so I email him.

Quote:

Hey! Are you ever going to answer me or get your behind to Morgana or not? I
already sent you my address days ago. You're not going to be as useless as
Femi, are you?

Hannah Lanham

For fun, I also reply to Femi and let him know what Roy said about him.

Quote:

------ Original Message ------
Received: Thu, 09 Jun 2005 06:18:59 AM EDT
From: femi adams <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: I NEED YOUR URGENT REPLY/ CALL ME 234 8030434059

> Dear Hannah,
> How far have you contacted the diplomat? Be serious for once and >stop
your idea of embarrasings people that are in possition to help us >out of
collecting this long time fund $15 millon dollars it is not a pin >nut deal.

I contacted him and gave him my address. And I just sent him a reminder,
because he hasn't replied. And what do you mean embarrasing him? He agreed
with me. He said, and I quote:

Date: Sat, 04 Jun 2005 10:08:16 AM EDT
From:

"Br.Cargo Broadcast [email protected]" <[email protected]> Add
to Address Book Block Sender Allow Sender
To: [email protected]
Subject: Frm:Royyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Allow Subject

Mdm,Hannah

Pleasing me to recieve your mail dated 4/6/05 which your prophesy and
rightious degree upon the live of Mr.Femi Adams is a complete manifestation
and real.

However,it was to my suprise that complete details of your goodself was not
presented which makes it imposicate to have the good delivered to its proper
destination.at the point in tme

In any event, I await your further instruction before my departure.

Meanwhile,have a great day & Tnks,

From:Roy William

>
> Thanks For your message try and contact the Diplomat again for your
interest, this is an , opportunity that you need not to miss in this your
life time , try and call him on phone, try and do that now, by contacting the
Diplomat now,and make sure you get back to me.or call me, to know how far? if
you have collect the consignment, please bear in mind concerning my own
share,
> 234 8030404359
> I await your urgent reply or call,
> Thanks
> Yours Faithfully,
> Femi Adams
>
>

So, so far, I'm beginning to think neither one of you are worth a damned dime.
You can't even get passing my details on to the diplomat through your thick
skull, Femi. And you have the same damned contact information for the diplomat
that I have. You gave them to me. So what's the matter with you that YOU
can't contact the diplomat and find out what's going on? I'm beginning to
think this whole thing is a giant crock of shit. Or that you are, at least.

Hannah

Femi, as usual, doesnt' really read, and he seems content for the moment.

Quote:

HANNAH, CALL HIM AGAIN AND SEND HIM REMINDER AS YOU HAVE DID, AND FORWARD WHAT EVER HE SEND TO YOU TO ME.
THANKS, I AWAIT YOUR REPLY.
REGARDS,
FEMI ADAMS

Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:47 am

I am just completely and utterly gob-smacked at him! I might try an ASEM just the thrill of it! Either he's completely devoid of anything even remotely resembling intelligence, or this is the best act I've ever seen from a lad! Maybe ask for a trophy pic to ensure he's neither a trained monkey or a super-intelligent dog typing these things to you! Clearly his English isn't too good. I'm convinced that his replies are going through a translator of some kind.

419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Jun 2005 Posts: 344

seems to be one dense lad!

btw, I really liked his statement in the one email that said ". . . Nigeria is not a country like USA where there is law and order." *chuckle*

Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 1:25 pm

As the bait "progressed" (if you can call it that...) Roy gets even harder to suss out. Here, he seems to be going for a combination of classic lad and California stoner, or perhaps "Good ole' Southern Boy", given the "Hey!".

Quote:

Hey!

strive not wit a man without cause if he has done u no harm

for wise shall inherit glory, but shame shall be the promo of a fool.

And just a hint of netspeaky teen. I'm... shall we say... slightly puzzled by the response.

Femi's still stuck on his one note.

Quote:

DEAR HANNAH,,
THANKS FOR YOUR INFORMATION, PLEASE UPDATE ME, IMEEDIATELY ABOUT THE POSITION OF THINGS WITH YOU AND THE DIPLOMAT HAVE YOU RECEIVE THE CONSIGNMENT? YES OR NO ? .I WAIT YOUR URGENT REPLY.
THANKS
YOURS PARTNER
FEMI ADAMS

I take this opportunity to complain to Femi about his wacko courier.

Quote:

Your diplomatic courier is as useless as you are. I think he's on some kind of
mind-altering drugs, assuming he has a mind. He seems to have fried it. Here's
his latest message to me.

>Hey!

>strive not wit a man without cause if he has done u no harm

>for wise shall inherit glory, but shame shall be the promo of a fool.

Obviously he's been smoking crack and turned his brain to mush. Get another
courier.

Hannah Lanham

I decide to go for broke with insulting Roy, and eventually garner myself some death threatage.

Quote:

So, then, in other words, yes, yes you are going to be even more worthless and
useless than Femi. You're obviously smoking dope and have fried your brain.
I've told Femi to find another COMPETENT courier.

Femi might be useless, but at least he occasionally makes sense,
"Royyyyyyyyyyyy". Go back to sucking on your bong. You couldn't find Morgana
if it came up and bit you on the behind, evidently. By the way, your shitty
email setting still "break" the reply to with that damned "@" symbol in the
sender name. But don't try to change it. In your addled state, you might hurt
yourself.

Hannah

I also reply to Femi's last email in a rather peeved manner.

Quote:

No, I have not received the consignment. Yes, the diplomat is either a
complete and total moron, a total, raving lunatic, or he is smoking dope. Take
your pick. See his last reply, which I included in my prior email, for
details. He can't even spell "Roy" properly!

Hannah

I'm hoping to start something between Roy and Femi.

Okay, now here's where Roy goes half stoner, half classic lad on me.

Quote:

Possessed Hannah.YES That is what I am.

Hear me and hear me well.

You strange call girl/ Woman sendin rambling mail to my box jumpout and die let my live move forward. say it out.

As you love to cause may blessings be far away from you and your generations.

The more you write to me,the more your obituary is to be printed in newspaper as an article.and yr nakedness shall be exposed.say yes YES.

The new courier company will bring yr coffin nextweek to yr country for yr enemies celebrity.and joy.

bye and R.I.P

O mdm hannah who died as a result of anger and cardiac arrest at ST.Mary hosipital Neveda may her soul rest in peace after my cry.

Okay, so he's leapt all the way to my calling him "possessed", even though I didn't. Usual insult that I am a "naughty lady of the night", fine.

MY email is rambling, though? Maybe he is on crack.

Usual crap juju threats and curses, check.

Apparently my enemies will also be famous, and... where the hell he got Nevada (or Neveda), I have no idea. The boy's obviously been inhaling fumes of some sort. And St. Mary's? Huh?

It was my first death threat. *sniff* Only took me months and months of straight baiting...

Since the lads seem to like to think themselves superior to women, I include a bit of the gender-wars in my reply. I also copy it to Femi, and this starts a bit of "nyah nyah" back and forth between me and Roy.

Quote:

Femi, I'm copying you on this, so you can see what an incredibly incompetent
shithead you have serving (and I use that term loosely) as a diplomatic
courier.

------ Original Message ------
Received: Sun, 19 Jun 2005 11:14:10 AM EDT
From: "Br.Cargo Broadcast [email protected]"
<[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Sorry Lanham

>
>
>
> Possessed Hannah.YES That is what I am.

No, you're stupid. There's a difference. If you were possessed, you would be
making more sense. The devil's no fool. You are. Evidently drinking large
quatities of goat semen addles your brain.

>
> Hear me and hear me well.

You're typing, you twat. I can't hear you. I would be generous and say you
were writing metaphorically, but I don't think you're capable. No, you
wouldn't know a metaphor if it bit your tiny penis. Assuming you even have
one. I have my doubts.

>
> You strange call girl/

Not one, dear. And if I were, you couldn't afford me.

>Woman sendin rambling mail to my box

Hah! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. You haven't made one jot of
sense yet. I suppose you must be so incredibly fried in the head that you
don't care about your job or earning a living any more. Fair enough. I guess
you'll just die a poor, drug-addled, small boy who doesn't have any money. You
can't possibly be a diplomatic courier. You couldn't find your way out of a
wet paper bag, much less a country. I bet you don't even have a valid
passport, much less diplomatic standing.

>jumpout and die let my live move forward. say it out.

I DO hope your life moves forward. Like a mile off a half-mile pier.

>
> As you love to cause may blessings be far away from you and your
>generations.

Oooh, I'm so scared of your fucking meaningless crap. I don't believe in that
superstitious shit. But I bet you do. May what's left of your testicles get
shredded by a lawnmower and your worthless, empty melon head split next time
you bump it. May all your teeth rot in your head and your living have to be
made by giving gummy blow jobs to strange men on street corners.

>
> The more you write to me,the more your obituary is to be printed in
>newspaper as an article.and yr nakedness shall be exposed.say yes YES.
>

Yay, you spelled obituary correctly! Did your mommy help? So, do tell,
Royyyyy. How long do I supposedly have? Do let me email you and let you know
I'm alive and well after your predicted death date passes. I would hate to
miss it.

> The new courier company will bring yr coffin nextweek to yr country for >yr
enemies celebrity.and joy.

Yr out of yr fucking mind. New courier company my ass. You couldn't run or
work for a courier company if your damned life depended on it. You and Femi
deserve each other, I think. In fact, I bet you've had each other, haven't
you? So, do you take turns taking it up the arse, or does he just get you to
suck his dick?

>
> bye and R.I.P

You forgot a period, there. You still didn't mention the date. Do let me know.
I want to let you know how I'm doing when the day rolls around. Don't you want
me to email you at the last minute and beg to know how to lift the curse? Or
cry or something?

>
> O mdm hannah who died

Died? Past tense? You have a serious English or time/space continuum problem
there, Roy.

>as a result of anger

You can't die directly of anger, you idiot.

>and cardiac arrest at ST.Mary hosipital Neveda may her soul rest in peace
>after my cry.

And to top off your idiocy, I don't live in Nevada. Don't plan to visit
Nevada, have never been anywhere near Nevada. You're an incompetent to the
end, there, Roy. You can't even get the fucking geography right an "oooh,
spooky" death threat. Ha, ha.

Look, pal, if you're not even going to work up a half decent "death threat",
don't bother. Just go back to sucking your boyfriend's dick and save the time
and effort for other things.

You two are worthless. Fuck off. Don't bother asking me for any further help.
The two of you can get eaten by crocodiles for all I care. In fact, I think
you would enrich the world a lot more by turning yourselves into crocodile
shit.

At least then, you would be fertilizer instead of the worthless, ranting
little boy you are now. I'll be generous and assume you have enough penis to
be considered a boy. Mainly because I don't think any female anywhere could be
so incredibly pathetic and stupid as you've proven yourself.

Hannah

Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 1:49 pm

Roy seems to be a sensitive lad who will probably feel indeed upset and saddened by variations on "Roy little boy." Femi might be angered by mentioning a "Femi"-nine touch in sexual matters concerning him.

Regardless of the (lack of) usability of the above, thank you for some inspirational reading.

Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:34 pm

Roy sends me another "oooh, spooky" threat. Or I'm sure HE thinks it's an "oooh, spooky" threat. Actually, he sent it twice, for good measure.

Quote:

Goodbye Mama Hannah,

Burial today tuesday 21st june 2005

Mama Hannah your were wicked personified
You curses people at all level with no cause
we shall afford to miss you forever but we take solace in the fact that you are resting in the eternal bosom of the hellfire.
Hannah may yr soul be rendered desolate .Amen.
I speak wit fire, thunder and lightening so no power shall speak agnst me

Classic lad.

I was laughing so hard, I could barely type my reply.

Quote:

>
>
> Goodbye Mama Hannah,
>
> Burial today tuesday 21st june 2005

Hi, there, little boy. It's June 22nd, 2005. I'm kicking high and feeling
fine. And yourself? You want to reschedule that burial, hon?

I'm shaking. With laughter. You couldn't be more amusing if you tried.

>
> Mama Hannah your were wicked personified

You were. Do get the English and the grammar right if you're going to make an
idiot of yourself, please.

> You curses people at all level with no cause

No cause? I think you being a pathetically inept little bastard with testicles
the size of raisins is a good enough cause.

> we shall afford to miss you forever but we take solace in the fact >that
you are resting in the eternal bosom of the hellfire.

Sugar, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

> Hannah may yr soul be rendered desolate .Amen.

May you actually get what you deserve, daring to say "Amen" and act
pseudo-religious when you're obviously a lying, thieving fraud. If you're a
diplomat, I'm the Queen of England. I think you had better be checking the
seat of your own trousers. They're probably smoking.

> I speak wit fire,

But with no education or skill, obviously...

>thunder and lightening so no power shall speak >agnst me

Who needs thunder and lighting? The power of a syphilitic, retarded,
half-blind monkey would be enough to "speak against you". You're pretty
amusing, Royyyyy. Do keep it coming. Give me the date of your next death
threat. Keep predicting my death for, oh, daily for the next forty, fifty, or
sixty years, and you might eventually get it right!

You're a pathetic, poor little boy. Look, go suck a cock or two, earn a buck,
and buy yourself some better death threats. Your current ones aren't hacking
it.

Hannah

For bonus kicks and giggles, I also reply to his second email.

Quote:

You know, sending the same message twice doesn't make what you say any more
true. It only makes you twice as stupid and twice as amusing.

Hannah

With the subject WATCH OUT, Roy replies.

Quote:

U dead hannah
ghost doesn't talk so go back to grave yard by fire or u will be exhumed by thunder to thunder,

*snort* Roy's fun.

Quote:

> U dead hannah

In denial much, there, little boy?

> ghost doesn't talk

Nope, they don't. So what happened to that death curse you promised me? Still
trying to muster up the right jibber-jabber, little man? Are you asking
someone to help you with the big words? I can wait.

>so go back to grave yard by fire or u will be exhumed by thunder to
>thunder,

Wow, new levels of incomprehensibility. Thunder to thunder, huh? Is that what
happens when you get indigestion from swallowing all that goat semen? Don't
you have some cargo to diplomatically deliver? Or, more likely, some cocks to
suck on the corner for a quarter?

Hannah
>

Roy resorts to the lad equivalent of "I know you are, but what am I?"

Quote:

SMELLING DEAD HANNAH

I hit wayyyyy below the belt on this one, hoping for some explosive response. Alas, no response. Yet. I might poke him a bit, later.

Quote:

>
> SMELLING DEAD HANNAH

What you're smelling is probably your crusty, nasty, unwashed, sweaty crotch,
little boy. You really should wash that with some soap and water. Or better
yet, scrub it with some petrol. And since it's dark down there, and I'm sure
it's hard to see your incredibly tiny penis and testicles without adequate
lighting, make sure you strike a match and inspect it for dirt after you've
given youself a thorough scrubbing with the petrol.

Should be fun to have your first bath. Do you even know what soap looks like
and how to use it? Or do you savages just normally lick yourselves clean like
dogs?

Hannah

All in all, a fun bait. Amusing in spots and slightly weird. There for a second, I was thinking Roy's account must have someone else in it, but I think his English was just so bad he honestly didn't know what he was supposed to be doing. Or maybe it really was a multi-lad account and Femi didn't bother telling his accomplice what he was supposed to be doing. So, like most incompetents, he resorted to platitudes, then trying to lay the blame elsewhere, then anger.

In fact, I kind of miss old Roy. I'm going to ask him where my death threat is, and why I'm not dead yet. Could be fun.

Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 6:00 pm

Quote:

Should be fun to have your first bath. Do you even know what soap looks like
and how to use it? Or do you savages just normally lick yourselves clean like
dogs?

BAaHAAHAHAHA!!!!! I am so going to use that line!!!! LOL_sign

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 2:23 am

I just emailed Roy to see if he's having brain cramp, or if he actually followed my advice about washing in petrol and lighting a match.

I do so miss our witty repartee...

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:17 am

^^^ Maybe send him a picture of a bar of soap. Perhaps you might also want to show him what a bath or shower looks like. Make sure he doesn't get them confused with some rancid pool of water Razz

Explain the modalities of washing with soap.

I still can't believe that after so long I have yet to receive a death threat. I'd be severely tempted to re-bait him as Hannah's lawyer explaining that she did indeed die!

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 6:58 pm

Roy's aliiiiive!

I sent him this, with the subject "Please read". I wanted to get his hopes up that I was having second thoughts.

Quote:

Hey there, Roy. I'm still waiting for my witty death threat of the week, and
I'm still alive. What? Having brain cramp? Or can't you get that without a
brain?

Hannah Lanham

And he sent me this simply hilarious reply, with subject "My Telephone".

Quote:

Hannah,

Are u still alife.
Call me on phone let me feel your tomb.

However, I dont read your msg even the last mail with the subj:Pls read
faced deletion intimidation because you sold your ass bfore me.

You strange woman attacking my life from the grave yard pack your evil load and go for your time has expired therefore die in the nmed of jaire
Sing dis song,
Verse 1 (Mrs.President)
Mrs Hannah wey no dey rule well your time don go rule well. i beg o rule well
mi African china; You American china

Bye

I'll be sending a reply later. Roy's so much fun...

Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 2:17 am

Get him to call and sing it to you. After all, you don't know how the tune goes! Cool

Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 3:09 am

You read my mind, because this was the reply I sent him just a little while ago.

Quote:

> Hannah,
>
> Are u still alife.

Question mark. It's "Are you still alive" question mark. Question mark. You know, it's the squiggly thing with a little dot underneath it. Have your mommy help you find it. I'll get you punctuating and spelling halfway decently in less than a year, if you pay attention.

> Call me on phone let me feel your tomb.

You're not worth the ten cents to call crosstown, much less at international rates. Besides, sugar, you didn't include your phone number.

>
> However, I dont read your msg even the last mail with the subj:Pls read
> faced deletion intimidation because you sold your ass bfore me.

Oh, you charming little idiot. You read it, or you wouldn't be responding now, now would you?

>
> You strange woman attacking my life from the grave yard

Maybe I'm your punishment from God. You certainly deserve it. In fact, I hope all your potential victims figure out you're a fraud, just like I did. I hope you die penniless, in a ditch. And don't give me any of that shit about how you're covered in the blood of Jesus and have God on your side. God hates liars. He hates thieves. He hates sinners. And you are one, big, fat fucking sinner. And you don't even feel sorry for trying to steal from people. You don't repent one bit. So God's punishing you by having all the people you try to fool figure you out. You're going to die poor and alone, little boy.

>pack your evil load and go for your time has expired therefore die in >the nmed of jaire

Do you actually think this ridiculous shit up, or do you just smack the keyboard with an open palm and call it writing? I pick the second.

> Sing dis song,
> Verse 1 (Mrs.President)
> Mrs Hannah wey no dey rule well your time don go rule well. i beg o rule well
> mi African china; You American china
>

What's the tune sound like, pumpkin? Why don't you phone me up and sing it to me. You can call me at 206-666-3170. See, I know my own phone number, unlike some people. I'd love to hear your pitiful excuse for singing.

Don't quit what passed for your "day job" honey. You make a rotten lyricist. You're no better at writing lyrics than you are at trying to scam people into believing you're a diplomat.

You're pathetic. Can't even come up with a decent death threat. Or a threat. Or for that matter, a decent sentence. Your wit's gone dull. Try sticking your head up against a chainsaw and see if that helps.

Hannah

If I get a "Nigerian Idol"-type trophy out of this, I will just keel over. The "punishment from God" bit was a preemptive strike against what I am sure will be the usual tired line about how God is on his side, yadda yadda. I'm rather sick of that one. I figure if their characters can spew crap they obviously don't believe about how God's on their side, my characters can spew crap about how I'm being ye olde smiting from the big man upstairs by torturing them.

Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 5:16 am

I'd be tempted to *be* a ghost for him. Haunt the bastard! You're looking over his shoulder as he types. Did he just mistype, or was it *you* evilly pushing his finger? And you're going to [ummm] drop a tree on his hut,... kill his mother,... kill his goat, and then .... kill HIM! [manic cackling laugh] Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 5:28 am

^^^ That's not a bad idea, actually! I might take a pic of myself under a bed sheet and call it my passport pic! Hell, this mugu would probably believe it too!