A philosophical exchange

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Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 1:33 am

WARNING: Some minor bad language ahead (all mine, I'm afraid).

The 'Douglas Minning' Company out of Togo wanted to sell me some rocks, or give me $50m or something.

So I replied

Quote:

Nne gi na Nna gi na umunnegi nile nwukwa idiot. Nne gi bu akwunna. Nna gi na ara
mkpuru amu. Amu jie gi. Agwo tupiakwa gi anya. Egbe burukwa umu gi. Ama nna gi
chiekwa. Chineke kpokwa gi oku.

Onye ohi, igaghi ahu ife oma na ndu gi. Ka m juo gi? Mugua obu Nne gi ka obu Nna
gi? Olee i he ina ebere akwa, You bastard. Uchu gba kwa gi ,onye aji ike
nsi,ihere adighi eme gi,otule di ka gi.

AJI OTU NNE GI OOOOOOOO. O GI KA M GA EJI EME YA, GI NA UMU NNE GI

Chineke kpokwa gi oku,

HAHAHAHAHAHAH FOOL OOOOOOOOOO.

Luckily, this man from Togo speaks the Nigerian Igbo dialect. Douglas writes:

Quote:

YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO HUMANITY

Not feeling inspired, I reply:

Quote:

SCAMMER SCAMMER SCAMMER SCAMMER SCAMMER
419 419 419 419 419 419 419
MUUUUGGGUUUUU OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Douglas is above all this squabbling:

Quote:

I am sure you understand your self, May all what you said bounce Back on you, full

I poke the stick in again.

Quote:

EWU,OZU,EWE,ODE,OLOSHI,ZUBULUS ELEMENT,NONETITY
OBROSHO,UDENSI,OMONONAYO,IREMATIC IDIOT,BARAWO BANZAI,UR MAMA ASHEWO,UR PAPA
THIEF.

FOOLISH BAMBOO

This gets a better response:

Quote:

I UNDERSTAND YOU GOT NO JOB TO DO, REPENT AND RECEIVE JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR LORD AND PERSONAL SEVIOR. HE WILL DELIVER YOU FROM YOUR KIND OF MIND SET. HE WILL GIVE YOU A NEW HOPE AND NEW LIFE, HE WILL CHANGE YOUR ATITUDE AND PERCEPTION

MAY GOD DELIVER YOU IN JESUS NAME

AMEN

Well, I can't let that go by:

Quote:

IF I REPENT AND RECEIVE JESUS, WILL HE GIVE ME A JOB AS 419 SCAMMER LIKE YOU?

YOU TELL ME NA JESUS LIKE CHEAT AND FRAUDSTAR LIKE U? EVER READ THE BIBLE WHERE
AM SAY "THOU SHALT NOT STEAL"? HA? YOU READ AM?

IDOIT, FOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL.

Douglas writes:

Quote:

Dear Friend

i ask the Lord to forgive you because you don't no what you are doing.

does your bible teach you to course and abuse people?my Bible tells me that the lord shall smath and course those who cursed me, it's a command

so be careful i mean very very careful, the power of death and life is in the tongue

i wish i could know who you are may be we can reason together

thanks

I decide to reason with Douglas:

Quote:

Dear Shit-For-Brains,

You are a lowlife scammer. Do you think the Lord loves you? No, he thinks you're
a f*cking turd and doesn't listen to you at all.

You should get on your knees and beg the Lord to turn you away from your low
cheating and frauding. Then maybe He will forgive you. You small fool.

Douglas doesn't like my line of reasoning:

Quote:

you are a total disgrace to mankind

I approach the matter from a different angle:

Quote:

You're the f*cking scammer, not me, Arsewipe. If I am a total disgrace to
mankind, what does that make you?

God wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, you thieving shithead.

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 9:07 am

Nice one!

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 12:48 am

Douglas is in two minds, neither of them very alert. He certainly believes I am a Lagos-based scammer. He seems to want to keep the exchange going and even help me, yet tells me to p*ss off, too. I guess he's fishing. Maybe his jobs aren't going well. He writes:

Quote:

you are the biggest fool because this is 2;am or 3AM In Naija and you are still in the cafe so what a hell do you think you are doing?i have traced the ip number were you are right now and the police would be there in a moment i promise you hell. you senseless idiot.. tell me whats your problem may be i could help you.

piss off

I reply:

Quote:

Listen, small boy, only mumu 419 scammer like u must go to the cafe because u have no money in this life, better go find work for farm for village. Poor fool, I have Internet in my house. And we no allow mumu like u and ur police friends dey come to ikoyi, una come dey security will see him as scap goat and kill him and send his head to you.

Learn English, foooooooolllllllllll.

iaa nwokem nodi nwayo ok nnegi maga.

I dropped the name Ikoyi in there (it is an upmarket area of Lagos) to see if he will bite.