The Combat Proctologist

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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 9:56 pm

Ten-HUT!

Alright maggots, FALL IN and shut those filthy sewers of yours!!
Your commanding officer has received an email:

Quote:

From: KABIRUEGOO <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Date: Apr 4, 2005 3:28 AM
Subject: BEST REGARD

Goodday,
It may surprise you to receive this e-mail from me, especially when we
haven't had any previous dealings. However I contacted you through this
means because I received information about you. Secondly, I am using
this means so that my personality can be sheilded until I am sure of
your willingness to assist me in achieving the purposes of this
business which will be of a high benefit to you and to my family.
I am Colonel KABIRU TURAK , Military Commander of POLISARIO
(Political Front for the Liberation of Western Sahara) and a member of
council of the National Secretariat of Western Sahara(Saharawi
Democratic Republic). Prior to my promotion to this rank/commander, I
was the second in command to the former military Commander General
ABDELKARIM AL SHAREE .He was however killed in battle .
THE PURPOSE OF CONTACTING YOU:
The struggle for the liberation of the Saharawi people from the strong
grip of Morocco and it's despotic government, hasza enjoyed funding
from private,religious and corporate organizations around the world,
people and organizations recognizes our struggle.
These organizations are the ones who assist/aid POLISARIO with funds
and materials in execution of this war with Morocco. Before the death
of my former Military commander(General ABDELKARIM AL SHAREE ), we
were given some funds(US$34,000,000.00) by multi-national company
donor to procure ammunitions for POLISARIO.
My boss moved and deposited these funds with a private security/finance
company in EUROPE. In my bid to audit our quarterly accounts I realized
that the records of the $34Million was not reflected in the books. As I
continued my private investigation I unclosed the source of these
funds. I found out that it was my boss who deleted every record of this
larges sum from the accounting books because his intentions is to keep
this particular funds for himself.
I called him to a meeting(two of us) over this issue .
He told me at the meeting that the funds as part of the donations
POLISARIO (Political Front for the Liberation of Western Sahara) get
year in and year out is to be kept for his use and the future of his
family since the future of the survival of the struggle is uncertain.
I saw his reasons and readily agreed with him because he promised me a
good fraction of the money there and then, especially when I know that
the money will never have a record trace ever. However, as fate may
have it General ABDELKARIM AL SHAREE died at the war-front and I
became the military commander . And in addition to that l am the only
person on earth who has previlege of knowing the information of this
cash deposit.
I have all the relevant documents pertaining to this deposit. I want to
claim this funds knowing fully well that I have all the relating
documents needed to claim these funds.
These documents are the Certificate of Deposit with which the Cash was
deposited, and also the Deposit Agreement. I therefore want you to
team/partner with me to collect the funds in EUROPE as I require a
foreigner to perfect this operation.
I will provide all the necessary documents in my disposal to lay claim
to these funds-which as the requirement agreed-upon with the
security/finance company.
The issue is this: I will transfer legal ownership of these funds to
you so that you can then be the new beneficiary of the funds that way
my link to the funds terminated for a smooth movement of the funds to
you. There are no risks involved in this business because I remain here
and hold all machineries involved in this business. I should also
clearly state here that as long as you keep this business confidential
there is no means whereby risk can be imported to it. This is because
someone elses knowledge remain the only thing that can import any risk
to this deal.
This is a simple and straight forward business, but must be kept highly
confidential so that we can record success in it within the next 10
working days. Upon the receipt of a positive response from you, I will
give you further details; outlining the method of operation which has
been mastered to pull this transaction through soonest.Therefore,
please do reach me via my private e-mail *alternatively (
[email protected]. ) Let me reiterate it again, I will want
everything about this transaction to be treated in confidence even if
you are not interested.
I await your response.
PLEASE DO REACH ME ON THIS THIS E-
MAIL BELOW.
( [email protected] )
Yours Brother,
Col.KABIRU TURAK.

Dr Hugh does a quick recon mission:

From: Hugh G. Rection
To: [email protected]
Date: Apr 4, 2005 8:41 AM
Subject: Re: BEST REGARD

Dear Colonel Kangaroo,

How did you recieve information about me? I was a combat proctologist
in the US Marines during the Gulf War...did I treat you at any time?
Let me know how I can assist.

Regards
Dr Hugh G Rection

The Colonel replies back to Dr Hugh:

Quote:

From: [email protected] <[email protected]>
To: "Hugh G. Rection"
Date: Apr 4, 2005 12:23 PM
Subject: Re: BEST REGARD

Dear Friend,
Thanks for your urgent response , I realy much appreciate your timely reaction
in this buisness may God Almightly be praised. Please l must confesse to
you how l got your e-mail, my brother it was when this deal came up that
l called my wife to discussed this business with her since the the business
demaded foriegner that l can trust, in this regard she sugusted we meet
our local soothsayer (PASTOR ) who said l should come with fourty foriegn
e-mails from the international directory all over the world,after five days
of prayer he came out with your e-mail as the the right person l can do
this business with,
There are some advise I will like to get you acquainted with. They are as
follows:
(1). I must solicit your atmost comfidence in this deal,everything about
it must be kept secret until you have moved my money successfully into
your account. This confidentaility is needed because of the safety of me
and my family in this country where stiff islamic laws are enforced. Be
informed that moving the amount of money I have without a carefully thought
out plan because of some securities reasons the funds will be a read-flag
for unwanted-interest, therefore we must do everything about the movement
of these funds with carefully arranged expertise; legitimately.
For this confidentiality requirement, I have put in place a solid plan to
bring this business to a success as soon as we finalises terms. Success
in this business will be attained within the next 14 working days with your
religious complaince with my instructions as the originator of this business.
My plan is secured(risk-free). It has been in use without fail in my country
by ex-government officials to siphon funds out of Western Sahara to their
secret bank accounts in abroad through the assistance of their foreign partners.
So, there is guarantee that we will have a hitch-free transfer of these
funds into your position(account) as soon as you assist me in retrieving
the boxes with which these funds were deposited in the safe-deposits vaults
in a security & finance company in LONDON .
You now know where these funds are located. You will move these funds from
the vaults company to your accounts through the help/assistance of the securoty/finance
officers .
(2). Here is my deal to you for your assistance: For your assistance to
me in acting on my behalf to receive these funds I will give you 20% out
of the $34,000,000.00 in the vaults company. This will be spelt out in the
agreement/Trustee letter I will send you after your response to this mail.
All your expenses during the course of this business including phone bills
and traveling expenses will be fully paid back to you after you have retrieved
my funds from my vaults company.
(3)I want you send me the following:
(a) A BRIEF YOUR CURRICULM VITAE AND YOUR DIRECT TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS.

(b) The line of investments you have in mind to invest 80% share of the
funds in your country. This is because I know little or nothing about businesses
and investments.
(C) YOUR FULL NAMES AND YOUR ADDRESS; these information are needed to facilitate
and prepare empowering documents and letter of agreement/trustee that will
legalise you as my partner/representative before the security & finance
company in LONDON.
I will await your urgent response ASAP so that I can proceed to furnish
you with the contact details of my attorney and vaults & finance company
so as begin the full process that will lead to our successful completion
of this business within the specified time. I will also send you all the
relevant documents for the retrieval of these funds.
May Allah bless and guide us.
My regards to your family.
Col. Kabiru,

------------------------------------------

Dr Hugh replies:

From: Hugh G. Rection
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
Date: Apr 4, 2005 5:41 PM
Subject: Re: BEST REGARD

Hello Colonel Kangaroo,

There's nothing in the world that can stop a motivated US Marine,
especially a Combat Proctologist. Ooh RAH Semper Fi Do Or Die!
At this moment I am the Commanding Officer and Supervising Physician
Of the United States Marines Corps Proctology Division - NY
Gastroentereological Group.
My office fax number is 1-253-xxx-xxxx.
Now hear this, you will use my private address which is:

Dr Hugh G Rection
4768 Phil Ayshio Highway
Bareback Range, NY 15654

Now you WILL be motivated, Colonel, and I expect you to send me all
pertinent documents forthwith. I believe this enterprise will be
mutually satisfying. I am set to retire from the Marine Corps in two
months, and I will only be doing private practice. I certainly look
forward to some extra money for retirement, if you know what I mean.
So let's complete this deal as quickly as possible.

As you were,
Dr Rection

Mad

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 10:22 pm

Are combat proctologists part of the Rear Infantry? I am proud of you serving in the Gulf War....I suppose it was necessary to protect our limited supplies of Petroleum Jelly.

Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 1:45 pm

I guess the Colonel doesn't pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps.

Awright! Drop down and give me TWENTY! United States

Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 10:00 am

Well well well. The Colonel decides to give it a try, after all. I WILL motivate this maggot! OOH RAH! SEMPER FI DO OR DIE! United States

He writes back to Brigadier General Hugh G Rection, Combat Proctologist

Quote:

From: [email protected] <[email protected]>
To: "Hugh G. Rection"
Date: Apr 7, 2005 4:15 AM
Subject: Re: BEST REGARD

Dear Dr Hugh,
I am happy to read your e-mail l believe that we have introduced our selves
enough to move ahead with our operation, I do understand you your mail very
well. Lets move forward and progress with the details that will bring this
business to a success within the next 10 working days. Be advised as follows:
1). We need to take the proper measure to have a lasting business relationship,
and a meeting between you and my lawyer and the officers of the security
company to meet face-to-face prior to the retrieval of my funds from the
security vaults company LONDON. You will contact my lawyer to discuss a
convinent date to meet for the retrieval of my funds. 2). Regarding the
confidentiality of this business subject, I want to count on you, I share
my secret with my self and my lawyer only same should go for you. 3). I
want to also inform you that one area you will assist me and my family will
be in settling-down(residence) in your country; You will assist us, when
we must have arrived your country to legal status. I can't wait a month
longer in this country immediately you have safely deposited my funds in
your account. My lawyer will assist you in retrieving and deposit my funds,
through financier advisors, whom will get you friendly banks that can receive
huge cash sums like ours in their banks. After these, you will be saddled
with the rsponsibilities of managing my affairs and investments in your
country. 4).I think there is no need to further delay the success of this
business, therefore I advise you to let me know when it will be ok for you
to travel to LONDON so l can give you the contact details of the officer
in charge of the security company so you contact him, to let him know when
you will able to travel to LONDON for retrieval of my funds.after this l
will give you all the papper worke of this deal that will make you rightfull
owner of the funds. l will also draft out an agreement letter that you and
I will sign before you travel to LONDON to meet with the security company
officers, Let me get your reply as soon as possible. Awaiting your reply,
urgently.

Awright, take 5, smoke 'em if ya got 'em. To be continued. Mad

Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 1:00 pm

Hugh G Rection replies:

From: Hugh G. Rection
To: "[email protected]"
Date: Apr 7, 2005 8:52 AM
Subject: Re: BEST REGARD

Dear Colonel Kangaroo,
Since I outrank you, (I am a Brigadier General), you MUST call me General.
Second of all, I will not be able to travel to London for at least two
months, as I am still involved in Marine Corps business. Also, if more
hostilities break out in Iraq, I may be called to go over there for
emergency proctology operations.
Once I am retired, if no hostilities occurr, that is, I can go to
London and meet those feather merchants if I have to. Don't you think
it would be better to complete this deal via email?
Respond promptly, and GET MOTIVATED.
At ease,
Dr Hugh G Rection(Brig. Gen.)

To be continued...? Mad

Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 5:46 pm

OK, this decidedly UNMOTIVATED recruit has FINALLY emailed me back:

Quote:

From: Col. Kabiru Turak <[email protected]>
To: drhughgrection
Date: May 14, 2005 10:56 AM
Subject: PLEASE THIS IS URGENT.

Dear Dr Hugh G,
I am sure you must have been wondering why you have not heard from me for quite sometime now. The reason was that having informed me that you would be unable to travel outtside your country expecially becauseof the nature of your job, I have been looking and examining alternative means of sending the funds to you. My lawyer just informed me yesterday may 13th 2005 that infact he has disccovered another simple method.The subsidiary of the security company in Holland- Nertherland is capable of transfering the funds to you ONLINE.
This is provided you have an account that is capable of absorbingsuch huge amount without generating any suspicion or raise eyebrows. If yave such an account, Please let me know urgently.After having confirmed to me, I can then go ahead and instruct the security and finance company in London to commence the process. I will then perfect a change of ownership to your name as the new beneficiary of the funds and will also initiate anagreement between us which will spell our the modalities and mutual understanding between us concerning the ourpose of the funds while in your costody. In your reply, please re-state your full name , address, contact telephone numbers including cell phone.I willawaiteyour reply.
Thanks,
Yours brother,
Col kabiru
Western Sahara.
N/B Get back to me through this my private email address: [email protected]

Gen Hugh replies: United States

From: Hugh G. Rection
To: "Col. Kabiru Turak" <[email protected]>
Date: May 18, 2005 1:35 PM
Subject: Re: PLEASE THIS IS URGENT.

Colonel,
At ease!
OK, I was doubting your motivation. You must be motivated...like all my Marines are motivated! Carry on and let me know what is happening.
Brig Gen Rection

Rolling Eyes

Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 8:13 pm

Please make him go nuts and shoot himself. That would be so cool.

Posted: Thu May 19, 2005 9:20 am

One wonders how a combat proctologist would motivate his troops. I have always been a fan of putting my foot in or lighting a fire under said troop's a**. However, from the proctological side of things, it seems as though the damage done by such methods would only create more work for the lead procto.

Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 10:27 pm

The Colonel writes back:

Quote:

From: Col. Kabiru Turak <[email protected]>
To: "Hugh G. Rection"
Date: May 22, 2005 12:23 PM
Subject: Re: PLEASE THIS IS URGENT.

DearGen Rection,
If you recall my last mail to you, I asked you to let me know if you have an account that can accomodate huge amount of money such as this without generating any suspiction. Well, I need for you to urgently send me the details of your account and the Bank because the security and finanace company on Holland a subsidiary of the one in London have comfirmed that they will effect payment into your account online between tuesday and friday next week.Plase reply and supply me th details asap.
Thanks.
Col Kabiru.

Brig Gen Hugh G. Rection, Combat Proctologist, USMC, replies: United States

From: Hugh G. Rection
To: "Col. Kabiru Turak" <[email protected]>
Date: May 23, 2005 6:14 PM
Subject: Re: PLEASE THIS IS URGENT.

Dear Colonel Kangaroo.
Atten-hut!
WHAT is your major malfunction, numbnuts?! I tell all my Marines that they MUST be motivated! Motivation and confidence are the keys to success. Ooh rah! Semper fi! Now listen to me, and listen to me good, because I HATE to repeat myself. I gave you my banking information in my first e mail to you. Are you telling me that you lost that information??
I am hard, but I am fair. Remember, Colonel, there is no substitute for victory. The Marines are the finest fighting force on this fucking planet. I have wasted Viet Cong in Vietnam, and let me tell you Charlie was a formidable adversary. I have wasted Cubans on Grenada, and they were a bunch of pussies and slackers! I have wasted Leftist Panamanians. They were drugged out Communists! I have wasted and destroyed raghead Iraqis and terrorists in both of the Gulf conflicts, and while some are motivated, they are a bunch of disgusting fatbodies. Now hear this: I expect prompt action from you, Colonel. If you lost my banking information you had best tell me now. Let me know, so I can resend it to you.
At ease, Colonel, until I hear from you again.
Semper Fidelis,
Brig. Gen. Hugh G Rection USMC

United States

OOH RAH! To be continued...?

Posted: Thu May 26, 2005 2:46 am

The Colonel writes to Gen. Hugh G. Rection:

Quote:

From: Col. Kabiru Turak <[email protected]>
To: "Hugh G. Rection" <
Date: May 25, 2005 9:44 AM
Subject: Re: PLEASE THIS IS URGENT.

Dear General,
Thanks for your last mail. I must confess that I enjoy reading your mail because it cracks me up most of the time and release whatever pent up anger pr tension in me. Your deep sense of humour is unparalled. Thank you indeed. But General, you are mistaking, you have not sent your banking information to me before because iI did not have cause to ask for it untill now. I want you to check your records and you will find that I am correct. my lawyer has just informed me that he has found a better and more efficient way of sending the funds to you. All that is required this time around is to deposit the funds with HSBC in Hong-Kong fo the credit of your account. The system is so reliable that you can operate the account from the comfort of your bedroom once the account is activated.
I will thereafter send you an agreement letter to sign which shall spell out the condition of our working relationship in the next feew days.
Please get back to me as quickly as you can.
Thanks .
Col Kabiru.

So...this mugu thinks I'm funny? I'll have to think about slapping him for that...later. Gen. Rection responds: United States

From: Hugh G. Rection
To: "Col. Kabiru Turak" <[email protected]>
Date: May 25, 2005 10:32 PM
Subject: Re: PLEASE THIS IS URGENT.

Dear Colonel Kangaroo,

Alright, my banking details are as follows:

1313 Hillary Clinton St
Intercourse, PA 42112
Account Number: I 8 1 U 8 1 2
I CANNOT do this deal from the comfort of my bedroom, as I have been recalled to active military duties in Iraq. Seems the Corps needs me to kill some insurgents and check some prostates.
You tell your lawyer he better be motivated. You and I, as honest brother warriors, can't waste any time.

At ease!
Brig Gen. Hugh G. Rection USMC

To be continued...?
Rolling Eyes

Posted: Thu May 26, 2005 2:00 pm

But sir, your sense of humor IS unparalleled! "I 8 1 U 8 1 2" is brilliant!

Intercourse, PA... do you have to go through Lover to get to Intercourse? All I know is that If you leave the interstate at Lover, you can't get back on.

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:34 am

^hee hee hee thankies Laughing

The Colonel writes:

Quote:

From: Col. Kabiru Turak <[email protected]>
To: drhughgrection
Date: May 29, 2005 10:39 AM
Subject: Re: AGREEMENT.

Dear General,
I received your mail and I must say that I am unhappy to hear that you have been seconded to Irag. I pray that God will keep you.
Those insurgents are bastards for real. Thank you for the details you sent.I have sent all your information to the Security and finanace company to commence the process for transfer of the funds to HSBC Hong-kong. Meanwhile,I will appreciate if you sgn the enclose MOU and return same to me as quickly as possible. I wish you the best of luck in Irag.
Thanks
Col Kabiru

There is no attached form, so he is ignored by General Rection.

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:47 am

The colonel resends the same email a day later and includes this Word Document:

MEMORANDUM OF UNDERSTANDING

This Memorandum of understanding is made on this 4th day of May 2004 Between Col Kabiru Turak of No. 202 Sultan Abubakar Way, Werstern Sahara of the first part (hereinafter called the investor Dr Hugh G Rection 4768 Phil Ayshio Highway Bareback Range, NY 15654 U.S. of the second part (hereinafter called the project facilitator.) Parties on both sides agree to mutually co-operate in fund / capital transfer and management and investment programmed to mutual benefit of both parties.

WHERE AS:

1. The party of the first part hereby agrees to arrange for the transfer of the sum of US$34 Million (Thirty-Four Million, United States Dollars Only) presently in a safe deposit facility Coin Security World in London and about to be transferred to.. HSBC BANK Hong-Kong, LONDON BRANCH into an account nominated by the project facilitator in view of the nationality incapacity of the first party, the second party hereby agrees and confirms his ability and willingness to ensure the successful transfer of the funds into his bank account

2 It is hereby agreed that upon a successful transfer of the said funds, the second party shall be automatically entitled to a sum equal to 20% of the funds devoid of any deduction or taxation and shall keep safe for the first party the remaining amount after the due deduction of any expenses which he (the second party) may incur in the course of executing the transfer which shall not be in excess of the 10% of the transferred sum.

3 The project facilitator will not be held responsible or held liable to any claims of other parties as to the said funds.

4 Both parties agree to be transparent in the business cooperation and tasks assigned to each on the basis of honesty and trust. Therefore, both parties based on trust and honesty using common sense, mutual respect and with the mutual understanding that each will respect the prevailing Law shall settle any possible dispute in the future amicably.

5 The business cooperation is based on the mutual understanding that each party can use its own funds at their own discretion. However the project facilitator shall advice the investor on areas where the funds can be profitably invested blue chip companies, or commodity trade in the USA or elsewhere

6 Both parties agree that the utilization of funds will not be for purchasing any weapons or narcotic drugs.

7 Any expense (commuting, correspondence, communication or postal services and others, as may be required to comply with the tasks set forth to the project facilitator) incurred by the project facilitator for and / on behalf of Col Kabiru Turak requests, will be deducted from the 10% allocation of funds for expenses.

Dated 27th day of May 2005

____________________ ____________________
Dr Hugh G Rection

Col KabiruTurak

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:52 am

The General replies: United States

From: Hugh G. Rection
To: "Col. Kabiru Turak" <[email protected]>
Date: May 31, 2005 11:43 PM
Subject: Re: PLEASE THIS IS URGENT.

Colonel
At ease. Now hear this; why don't you set the ball rolling with this deal. I do not, repeat, NOT have access to a fax machine at the Field Headquarters where I am. We just finished an attack near the Syrian border. If I had my way I'd sent a Company of my highly motivated Marines and march right to Damascus and skull fuck their girly-man President.
Carry on, Colonel!
Gen HGR United States

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 4:10 pm

Dr Hugh G Rection wrote:

If I had my way I'd sent a Company of my highly motivated Marines and march right to Damascus and skull fuck their girly-man President.
Carry on, Colonel!
Gen HGR United States

I'll drink to that, Colonel!!! beers!

[/plays Toby Keith "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue" on his iPod]

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 3:45 am

The colonel replies:

Quote:

From: Col. Kabiru Turak <[email protected]>
To: "Hugh G. Rection" >
Date: Jun 3, 2005 12:35 PM
Subject: Re: THANKS.

Dear General.
How are you sir. I hope all is well with you.I just want to inform you that I have concluded all arragement with HSBC-Honkong and they have assured me that the funds will be effectively credited to you between by next week.
As soon as they inform me, I will get back to you immediately.
yours sincerely.
Col Kabiru.

I'll be waiting with baited breath. Rolling Eyes

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 01 Jun 2005 Posts: 11

Dr Hugh G Rection wrote:

I guess the Colonel doesn't pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps.

Awright! Drop down and give me TWENTY! United States

*coughs* Seen the address he is using?

Quote:

Bareback Range, NY 15654

Bareback is the name for Gay porn ... right?

Should be then "DROP PANTS AND BEND OVER TO RECEIVE SOLDIER!!" Laughing

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:14 am

HSBC Hong Kong? I think the Hong Kong Police would like to know.

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 10:14 am

Ah yes, wilson. I agree. How would a highly motivated Marine Corps General like Hugh G Rection notify the Hong Kong Police?
BTW, I think I'm in love with your avatar. Now drop down and give me twenty, Recruit! United States

Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 10:04 am

MaestroNL wrote:

Should be then "DROP PANTS AND BEND OVER TO RECEIVE SOLDIER!!" Laughing

You could get a dishonorable discharge doing that!

@Hugh... I thought the same thing about wilson's AV... Something really kinky about that little sneer. Who is she, we're dying to know?

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:28 pm

The Colonel replies:

Quote:

From: Col. Kabiru Turak <[email protected]>
To: "Hugh G. Rection" >
Date: Jun 7, 2005 10:50 AM
Subject: Re: PLEASE THIS IS URGENT.

Dear General,
I hope you are fine sir. I have concluded every arrangement to have the funds transfer to you online. However I have just been informed that you would need to write a formal application addressed to Mr Allen Clean, office of the Director of finanac-HSBC London- fax 448712396783.The application will be tructured like this;

To ; Mr Allen Clean (Account Manager )
office of the Director of finanace
HSBC London.

Ref:HSBC|USD|2487|05
A/C NO 817327548 ( CODED )
Dear Sir,
My name is-----------,I am the owner of the newly opened account number stated above.
I will vry much appreciate if you would covert the account to ONLINE to enable me operate it from any location in the world to tranfer funds to any where in the furtherance of my business.
for easy of my comminacation, my direct phone number is ---------------. my fax number is ---------- and my e-mail is -------. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yours sincerely
Col Kabiru Turak.

General, you must do this today because itis the thing they are waiting for to formalise the process.thank you and waiting to hear from you soon

The colonel is ignored by the General

Quote:

From: Col. Kabiru Turak <[email protected]>
To: "Hugh G. Rection" >
Date: Jun 8, 2005 12:37 PM
Subject: Re: PLEASE THIS IS URGENT.

Dear General,
I hope you received my mail sent to you yesterday.I have just been told that they are still expecting your formal application by the London branch of HSBC.I gave you the formal in my mail to you yesterday. Please do so immendiately if you have not already done so and please let me know.
Your sincerely.
Col Kabiru Turak.

To be continued...

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:37 pm

He wants to offer you a covert account, General. It might be a good idea to take that one. Any chance to operate beneath the enemy's line of vision is a good one.

Of course, since it's covert, you wouldn't want to fill in the blanks in the form. Intelligence. The Colonel's already signed his name to the form, so that must be what the bank wants to see. Smile

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:37 pm

ATTEN-HUT! United States

From: Hugh G. Rection
To: "Col. Kabiru Turak" <[email protected]>
Date: Jun 9, 2005 1:27 PM
Subject: Re: PLEASE THIS IS URGENT.

Dear Colonel Kangaroo,
What in hell kind of name is Allen Clean? Is the man a peter-puffer?! Does he suck dick?! I suspect he is a homosexual. I do NOT trust bankers with fancy names like that. Only sailors and faggots are named Allen Clean. Now hear this: I am in the middle of a serious insurgency problem here in Iraq. I am conducting top secret proctological operations against the enemy. I WILL MOTIVATE THEM TO SURRENDER!!! INSIDE EVERY ONE OF THESE RAGHEADS IS AN AMERICAN STRUGGLING TO COME OUT!!!
As soon as this military operation is concluded I will fax that pansy at the bank. Remember, colonel, I DO NOT have access to a fax machine on the battlefield.
At ease,
Gen. Rection.

At ease! United States

Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 6:35 pm

nomad0613 wrote:

You could get a dishonorable discharge doing that!

You would definately get (or give) some type of discharge after doing that enough, although I don't consider painful urination to be 'honorable'.

Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 6:46 pm

^^^^^ Brings to mind the prison definition of the acronym AIDS...