Bugging George Burch

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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 2:07 am

This one is going to take a while to publish, so bear with me. I don't even have my first reply to him, but let's just say he sent me a scam, I replied, asking to split it 60/40, my advantage. We join the bait there.

Quote:

Dear Hannah Lanham

I understand your reply,but I think your demand on the percentage is not okay,Let us do it this way,50%/50%.
If this condition is okay for you send me your phone and fax number so that I can call you and we start the process of the documentation while I will give you a text of application for which you will submit to the bank.

Or you can call me on 234-1-7917925.

yours faithfully
George Burch

No way, bub.

Quote:

No way. I'm the one who is putting my behind on the line with the law and the
IRS over here. I get 51% or you don't get my help.

Hannah

George caves.

Quote:

Dear Hannah Lanham

I understand your point,meanwhile send me your numbers so that I can call you or you can call me on 234-1-7917925.

When I receive the informations we can now contiune.

Yours faithfully

George Burch

Hannah's a mean one.

Quote:

If, by "I understand your point", you mean that you are going to agree to the
51/49 split, then you can call me at 206-666-3170.

Hannah

I get two "Dear"s in a row!

Quote:

Dear Dear Hannah Lanham
I have receive your number and I will call you on
Monday.But I will need your address so that I can
SWEAR AND AFFIDAVIT OF CLIAM in the court on monday
which will be submited to the bank.

Send me your address immedaitely and when I call you
we can talk on other things.

I am not a greedy man rather I want it to be through
in time,let us remove greedyness that is the reason
why I am accepting it now.

Also also I will not let you to run away with the
money ,that is my second reason so that you will be
okay with your own percentage.

I am waiting for the address.

Yours faithfully
George Burch

Yuh huh. Okay, George.

Farscape fans may notice a small tribute...

Quote:

My address is 105 Pilot Way
Moyan, Washington 98102

Georgie is still tickled enough for two "Dear"s.

Quote:

Dear Dear Hannah Lanham
That is good ,I will swear the affidavit tomorrow and
before I send it to the bank I will send you copy or
your perusal.

Now you have to copy the text o application and send
it to the bank ater fill it .

Send it to the mail address of the bank for approvals.

Yours faithfully
George Burch

Bwahaha! Here's what I receive. So professional, as the body of an email, no?

Quote:

THE MANAGING DIRECTOR
CITI BANK PLC
26 ALLEN AVENUE IKEJA
LAGOS NIGERIA.
Tel/fax 234--7598957
Email:[email protected]
eMAIL:[email protected]

APPLICATION FOR THE RELEASE OF (US$6.650MILLION) BEING
INHERINTANCE OF MY LATE BROTHER MR ALEX
SIR,
I am the next of kin to late Mr. Alex ,I have the
full support of my entire family and co-relatives for
the sum of US$6.650million which belongs to our
late brother Mr. Alex .

This is my bank paricullars for the release of the
money.
Bank=======
Alc no===========
Swift Code========
Beneficary==============

Sir,I will be very gratefull if my humble application
is granted.I anticipate your urgent co-operation and
understanding
in this matter.
I can be reached on this telephone=== and fax=====
number.
Yours faithfully
Hannah Lanham

Righty-roo. I'll send that right away. I mean, all modern lawyers do their affidavits and stuff like that these days, right?

He even follows it up with this.

Quote:

Dear Hannah Lanham
I am working on the affidavit which I will send you
copy.Please send your phone number.

I want to call you so that we can talk.
Yours faithfully
George Burch

He wants to talk to me real bad, doesn't he? So the hook is set, the bait has started, and I'll publish some more of it later.

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 8:47 pm

I send this "form" to "Citibank" in the body of an "email". I mean, email.

Quote:

THE MANAGING DIRECTOR
CITI BANK PLC
26 ALLEN AVENUE IKEJA
LAGOS NIGERIA.
Tel/fax 234--7598957
Email:[email protected]
eMAIL:[email protected]

APPLICATION FOR THE RELEASE OF (US$6.650MILLION) BEING
INHERINTANCE OF MY LATE BROTHER MR ALEX
SIR,
I am the next of kin to late Mr. Alex ,I have the
full support of my entire family and co-relatives for
the sum of US$6.650million which belongs to our
late brother Mr. Alex .

This is my bank paricullars for the release of the
money.
Bank======= Charrid Finance
Account Number 234543
Beneficary============== Hannah Lanham

Sir,I will be very gratefull if my humble application
is granted.I anticipate your urgent co-operation and
understanding
in this matter.
I can be reached on this telephone=== and fax===== 206-666-3170
number.
Yours faithfully
Hannah Lanham

I send this to George. I'm a woman of few... numbers.

Quote:

206-666-3170

------ Original Message ------
Received: Wed, 27 Oct 2004 02:58:50 AM EDT
From: George Burch <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: I am working on it

>
> Dear Hannah Lanham
> I am working on the affidavit which I will send you
> copy.Please send your phone number.
>
> I want to call you so that we can talk.
> Yours faithfully
> George Burch
>

Georgie gets back to me right away.

Quote:

Dear Hannah
I will call you tomorow after I must have secured the
affidavit of claim.I will also send you copy of it for
your perusal.I will not be inn today I will be
traveling out of the state.

Have you submited the text of application to the
bank?.
Confirm to me so that I wil know the next line of
action.

Yours faithfully
George Burch

Yes, yes, blah, blah, my perusal. It's good to hear he's not turning into a hotel, as well. Perhaps on alternating Thursdays, he's also a teapot.

Again, I'm brief and to the point.

Quote:

Yes, I have.

Hannah

George sooo wants to phone me.

Quote:

Dear Hannah
I will like to talk to you so that we can know each
other deep.Try to wait for my call today.

The affidavit will be ready on money and I will send
you copy for your perusal.

Til then remain bless
G.Burch

Well, hurry up George, my perusal is getting impatient. But I'm not so sure I want to know him deep...

Citibank or uh, Citi Bank get back to me.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah Lanham
This is to confirm the receipts of your application in respect our our
late customer Mr Alex.

The managment board of the Citi Bank Plc uses this opportunity to send
our condonlence message to the family of Late Mr Alex,
We assures you that your money will be released to you within the next
shortest time depending on you presenting of all the neccessary required documnts for verifications and approvals
We shall send to you all the withdrawal documents through your bank or directly to you or easy withdrawal of the money from your account.

Already the telex department has started the programming of your bank
account in the system for the transfer.

We say congratulations.

Best regards
Dr Chris Tanko
MD

Yay! Ding, dong, Mr. Alex is dead! The way these guys congratulate you...

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 4:00 pm

George sends this with the subject "I will not be in". In what?

Quote:

Dear Hannah
Is there any information from the bank?
The bank invited to come tomorrow,so I will like to
know if you have any informtions from them.
Yours faithfully
George Burch

Hannah, dear, sweet, naive thing that she is, answers honestly.

Quote:

Well, they sent me this:

Attn:Hannah Lanham
This is to confirm the receipts of your application in respect our our
late customer Mr Alex.

The managment board of the Citi Bank Plc uses this opportunity to send
our condonlence message to the family of Late Mr Alex,
We assures you that your money will be released to you within the next
shortest time depending on you presenting of all the neccessary required
documnts for verifications and approvals
We shall send to you all the withdrawal documents through your bank or
directly to you or easy withdrawal of the money from your account.

Already the telex department has started the programming of your bank
account in the system for the transfer.

We say congratulations.

Best regards
Dr Chris Tanko
MD

but I haven't heard anything since.

Hannah

Okay, so, I'm supposed to "onfirm" something. I'm not sure it's legal in my state...

Quote:

Attn:Hannah Lanham
No problem,I will submit the copy of the affidavit to
the bank by tomorrow.Please onfirm the receipts of the
copy of this afidavit so that we shall wait to hear
from the bank and know what next they will tell you.

If the bank request or any document from you you
should confirm from me first before you answer them,to
avoid any mistake in your answers.

I understand you now,more epecially your seriousness
and trust in doing things,I will require that you kep
it that way so that we can build everlasting
relationship now and after the business.

Best regards
George Burch

He sends me this lovely affidavit. Yes, this is the size it was when he sent it.

Like a good girl, I keep him updated.

Quote:

I got the copy of the affidavit. I'll let you know if the bank contacts me.

Hannah

He tries to keep my pumped and hyped and on the string.

Quote:

Dear Hannah
We are now on the track to get the money within the
shortest time .I wish that we can conclude by next
week and I will be able to know when to come to meet
you up.

Yours faithfully
G.Burch

Citi Bank also keeps me informed. Their correspondence is soooo official.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah Lanham

Inheritance Approved(us$9.8 million
==============================
Sir,
We are confirming the receipts of your affidavit of cliam today.We use the same opportunity to re_confirm to you that your fund us$9.8 million is ready to be transfered.

Citi Bank Plc will concluded all officail protocols and documentations in the next few days.The Withdrawal documents will also be ready but we can not transfer until you secure the Anti-Terrorist Free Certificate .This is in line with the new world financial regulations concerning huge sum of money come into America since 11 sept 2001 terrorist on America.

You are to contact the Anti -Terrorist commission on this matter.As soon as we receive the copy of the ATC your payment will be released to you with the withdrawal documents which will grant you smooth withdrawal of the money when it arrives into your account.

Confirm the receipts of this mesage which is sent to you .

Best regards
Chris Tanko
Managing Director

That... is painful. But wait, he sends me another! Notice the subtle differences...

Quote:

Attn:Hannah Lanham

Inheritance Approved(us$$6,650 million
====================================
Sir,
Your attorney came this morning to confirm that you did not receive our mail,we have mail you serveral times confirming to you that your fund us$$6,650 million is ready to be transfered.Citi Bank Plc has concluded all officail protocols and documentations.The Withdrawal documents are also ready but we can not transfer until you secure the Anti-Terrorist Free Certificate .This is in line with the new world financial regulations concerning huge sum of money come into America since 11 sept 2001 terrorist on America.

You are to contact the Anti -Terrorist commission on this matter.As soon as we receive the copy of the ATC your payment will be released to you with the withdrawal documents which will grant you smooth withdrawal of the money when it arrives into your account.

Confirm the receipts of this message .

Best regards
Chris Tanko
Managing Director

That's a pretty good mistake, there, Chris.

After reading the first from Citi Bank, I get George up to speed.

Quote:

The bank has contacted me, and they say I need some sort of certificate. I
assume you know what they're talking about?

Hannah

After reading the second... needless to say I'm worried.

My reply to Citi Bank's first email.

Quote:

I'm in the process of complying. Also, I am a Madam, not a Sir.

Hannah

And the second.

Quote:

And, how, exactly did my attorney contact you to tell you that I had not
received your mail, when I just, a few minutes ago, passed the request on to
him? Did my attorney, Barrister George Burch suddenly become psychic?

And more importantly, why, in your first email to me, did you claim that the
inheritance fund is $9.8 million, yet, in this message, not even 24 hours
later, you claim it is $6,650 million? What sort of funny business are you
trying to pull? Explain yourself, sir! I'm copying my attorney on this, as I
think it vital he be aware of your flip-flopping in regards to this fund and
its value.

Hannah

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 7:41 pm

George goes for the world record on longest unnecessary subject.

"I will be in the office of the commission tomorrow to confirm what it will cost."

Quote:

DearHannah Lanham
We are almost in the process of geting the money,I
will be in the office Anti-Terrorist Commission to
know all about the certificate.

I will inform you all about it tomorrow.
I found out that it is very neccessary that we get the
certificate so that we will not have problem in
withdrawing the money when it is transferred into your
account.

Reply the bank and let them know that we are on it.

Yours faithfully
George Burch

Citi Bank gives me a reply. With the subject "okay".

Quote:

Attn:Madam

Thanks for your confirmation.It is very important that you confirm the date of submission of the Certificate to enable us prepare all the transfer documents.

Best regards

Dr Chris Tanko

Managing Director

Ooookayyyy.

George, y'all done made my day by replyin' in Fiddle-dee-dee-speak! It's like ah'm talkin' to Scarlett O'Hara! Okay, I know he didn't need it that way, but the email is just chock full of hi-larity.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah Lanham

Dear Sister

I feel okay with the way you ask them questions
regarding the amount.The Managing Director said it was
a mistake by the secreatry who send the message to
you.

That the amount the the A/c no:564-0036-0 is Us$6.650
Millions I was not happy with that information.

He told me that uch will not happen again.

All thesame I have gone to the Anti-Terrorist
commission concerning the Anti-Terrorist Free
Certificate and the commission confirm that it will
cost us us$6,650 dollars(six thousand,si hundred and
sixty dollars )[/b[to secure.

How do we do it as it is what is delaying the payment
now and I can not afford all the money .I can only
afford us$4,650 and that is all I have now in life.[b]You
know I have been spending without tell you at all.You
have to provide us$2000 dollars so that we can secure
the document.As the bank has said it will be hard for
us to withdraw the money or even the bank to transfer
until the Anti-Terrorist Free Certificate is
provided.

Listen any money contribute by you or me has to be
subtrated from the main money before we start to share
according to the percentage :51%/49% as we agreed.
Regards to the us$4650 I will provide it will not be
ready today until saturday.So get prepared on your own
part until then I will give you information how to pay
it so that we can join it together.

Yours faithfully
George Burch

I need a certificate showing I'm free of Anti-terrorists? Wha?

Hmmm. George needs to learn the art of the non-run-on sentence.

Citi Bank and Chris Tanko just rush to apologize.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah Lanham
Approved(us$$6,650 million A/C NO:564-0036-0 )
========================================
Madam,

We apologise for the error,it was a typegraphical error by the secretary.And also the information pass to her was miss-informed to you,while the issue of not responding to emails was not correct.And that has relieve her of her duty to the bank pending the suggestion of the bank borad meeting.

We wait for your prompt submission of the Certificate ,so that we can make transfer immediately.

Thanks for your understanding.

Chris Tanko
Managing Director

I set George up for much hi-larity on my end later. I plant a seed for a modality which I've used in other baits. The "Oh Noes! You iz on teh Terrorist Watch List!!!" modality.

Quote:

Okay, I'll see if I can get the money together. I think it would be best to
send it by MoneyGram, don't you? I've been reading articles lately that
indicate Western Union sometimes holds up transactions because names are
similar to names on the Terrorist Watch List. Can't be too careful. Or is
there some other transfer service I don't know about that you're familiar
with?

Hannah

For some unaccountable reason (perceived realism, probably) George tells me to hold my horses and ask the bank a question, first.

Quote:

Dear Sister
I will like you to ask the bank this question first
before you send the money.

1.How long will it take if we get the documents of
Anti-terrorsit Free Certificate for them to transfer
the money?
2.Is there documents that will be sent to you for you
to withdraw the money ?
And if this documents are answered you can send the
money through Money gram to the name of my secretary:

Mrs. Esther Agada
1 Allen Avenue,Ikeja
Lagos ,Nigeria.
Question:what for
Answer: Alex

Make sure that it is done accordingly and send me the
information.

Yours faithfully
George Burch
Note that I will send you the copy of the
Anti-Terrorist Free Certificate immediately I secured
it.

Oh, brother. I love the radical tense shifts at the end, as well.

So, I email the bank.

Quote:

My attorney asked that I ask the following questions:

1.How long will it take if we get the documents of
Anti-terrorsit Free Certificate for them to transfer
the money?
2.Is there documents that will be sent to you for you
to withdraw the money ?

Hannah Lanham

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 3:28 pm

I get an answer and forward it to ole George.

Quote:

The bank sent me the following:

Attn:Mrs Hannah Lanham

1.How long will it take if we get the documents of
Anti-terrorsit Free Certificate for them to transfer
the money?

If we receive the document on 9th Nov.2004 the transfer will be made on the
10th Nov.2004.Note that it must be a day gap to the date when the certificate
will be submited and confirm of the fund into the account will take 72 hrs.

2.Is there documents that will be sent to me for me to withdraw the money ?

Yes,the withdrawal documents will be mail to you or fax to you depending the
way you ned to receive it,and it will also be sent to your bank.Also the
Payment slip will be sent to you directly for confirmation of the money
through your bank.

Best regards

Dr Chris Tanko

How much am I supposed to send through Moneygram? Is it okay to go ahead and
send the money through Moneygram now that the bank has answered?

Hannah

George has the cheek to not only crassly ask for my money, but to angle for a letter of invitation, as well, so he can get to the U.S.! He seemd to think it will be very easy to get a visa to London if I can't supply the letter.

Quote:

Attn:Mrs Hannah Lanham
The answers are okay for me.Listen if we can get the
money by this week I will like you to send me a letter
of invitation ,or do you want us to meet in London.

It will be easy for me to get visa to London without
any stress.

You can send the money today:

Mrs. Esther Agada
1 Allen Avenue,Ikeja
Lagos ,Nigeria.
Question:what for
Answer: Alex

Madam,we have made it now.
Send me all the information so that I can see if I
will make sure that I get the document by tomorrow and
send copy to the bank and copy to you.

Yours faithfully
George Burch

Chris must really want his share of the money. He hassles me about not having the ATC yet.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah Lanham

Your lawyer promised to submit the ATC document to us ,but we have not seen him and the bank has programme the transfer for tomorrow,which is to say if at the closer of the day and now information was received from him the transfer will be cancelled for tomorrow.

Confirm the reality of the submission as said by your lawyer.

Best regards

Dr Chris Tanko

MD

I keep George updated and ask what the heck a letter of invitation is.

Quote:

Well, again, please explain to me what a letter of invitation is. And when
could we meet in London? If we met in London, I would need to make travel
arrangements and get a passport and so on.

I'll stop by the WU late this evening and see if I can get the money sent.

Hannah

I also forward him Chris's message and tell him to get his butt in gear.

Quote:

You need to contact the bank and let them know about the status of the ATC.
They say they have not heard from you.

Hannah

George gets right back to me on that.

Quote:

Dear Mrs Hannah Lanham
Aletter of invitation is the letter that will grant
the American Embassey to issue me visa,if we are to
meet in America,but now that we are going to meet in
London you need not to send me a letter of invitation.

Listen dear sister,do not expose this transaction to
any one until it is through by friday(12th
Nov.2004).You must keep all information very secret
even in Western Union or Money gram where you are
going to make the payment.

Please immediately you make the payment send me all
the information and also inform the bank that your
lawyer will submit the Certificate the following day.

I am waiting for the payment informations.

Mrs. Esther Agada
1 Allen Avenue,Ikeja
Lagos ,Nigeria.
Question:what for
Answer: Alex

Yours faithfully
George Burch

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 5:43 pm

Being the accommodating, if somewhat inept dear that I am, I head right off to Moneygram

Quote:

I went by the Moneygram, and the agent was pretty helpful, since I've never
sent a Moneygram before. She said you need the number, which is 73198775 and
the agent, which is United Bank for Africa.

Hannah

Thus begins loads of number fun.

Quote:

Dear Mrs Hannah Lanham
I have received the information which is the
number.Now where are we going meet after the transfer?
Also tell the bank that I will submit the Certificate
by next tomorrow which is on the 12th Nov.2004.

That is to say the transfer will take place on the
15th Nov.2004 confirm that from the bank.

I will also send you copy of the Certificate
immdiately I secure it.

Yours faithfully
George Burch

George apparently doesn't bother to count the numbers, because he seems mighty happy in his first mail.

Not so happy in this one.

Quote:

Dear Hannah
The money gram office said that this not correct
73198775 .

Cross check the number and resend me the correct
number.

Do it very urgent so that we can met up the time
frame.

I am waiting for the correct informations.

Yours faithfully
Gorege Burch

Oh, dear, did I cost him a wasted trip? Embarrass him at the local bank?

He sent me the above letter twice, just to make sure, even.

Oh, dear. I dig my non-existent receipt out of the trash. It even had imaginary food on it and stuff!

Quote:

I'm so sorry. I dug the receipt out of the trash, and it looks like I left a
number off. It should be 731981775.

Hannah

I get a lectur on throwing such important papers away.

Quote:

Dear Hannah
There is no way the money can be collected until you
go to the money gram office where you send the money
to ask them for the correct number.

So all you have to do is to be there today and ask
them to give you the correct number or else I can not
collect the money and secondly it will delay the time
frame with the bank.

Go now ,I try to call you but the phone was on
answering machine.

So go now and resend the information to me.I am
waiting now on the computer to pick the information.

Let me tell you,you should not trashout papers of such
because it may be important in checks and balance
after the transaction.

Yours brother
George Burch

George lets me know it's not good I'm making a fool of him. I beg to differ, George. I'm not responsible, and even if I were, it's a very, very good thing.

Quote:

Dear Hannah
It is not good that you are making fool of me.The bank
told me this morining that there is no money in the
second number you gave me.My secetary look like a fool
,by going to the bank minute after minute.

And the worst of it all is that I have deposited with
the Anti-Terrorist Commission the money I have and
yesterday I promised them that I will come to colect
the certificate and also promised the bank the same.

You have to let me know what is going on,if the money
was paid let me know,because what it will take you is
to go to the office of the money gram and just let
them know that the number is wrong and they will
correct it immedaitely and you mail it back to me.

Why making things hard for us,today the bank would
have receive the Certificate and they should have been
talking about the transfer of the money to your
account.

If you have not send any money ,do not fool me around.

I am waiting to hear from you.

Yours brother
George Burch

Bored, and a bit tired. I let him dangle a while.

Quote:

Dear Hannah
What is the problem ,until now I have not heard from
you .You should give me an up date on the issue.

Yours faithfully
George Burch

And a bit more.

Quote:

Dear Sister
I am waiting to hear from you.Have you changed or
corrected the money gram number.Let me know your
postion.

How was the weekend?

Yours faithfully
G.Burch

Citi Bank weighs in as well, just to scare me.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah Lanham

Date 15th Nov.2004

URGENT COMFIRMATION ON YOUR PAYMENT
============================================

Madam,
The board of Directors Citi bank Plc is not confortable with the delay on your side concerning your presentation and submittion of the required documents to the bank,to enable us release your payment.It is very neccessary because of the time frame and the balancing of the account of our bank as the year draws to an end.
We are appealing to you to help us end up the transaction in time by sending to us the required document as failure to do so will grant us the right to cancel the payment and the account will finally goes into suspense account.

We are grant you 48hrs to anticipate action to this regard.

Best regards
Dr Chris Tanko
Managing Director
CITI BANK PLCX

Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 6:33 pm

When all else fails, blame the nameless.

Quote:

I was away for the weekend, and not available Friday through Sunday. I went
down to the Moneygram today and they seem to think, after running a trace
through the system, that the number should actually be 713981775. The clerk
thinks she transposed the numbers when writing them on my receipt.

Hannah

George seems to prefer Western Union for some reason. Can't fathom why.

Quote:

Dear Hannah
Thanks for your effort ,but the money gram officer
here confirms to my secretary that the numbers are
only eight digts ******** only and if it is not eight
that it is wrong ,not nine because this number you
gave to me now is nine 713981775 and that makes it
wrong again.

By now we suspose to have receive the us$6.650m into
your account and we should have been talking about how
to meet now not same document.

I will advise that you try and go back to them again
and inform them that the number is wrong and if they
refuse to correct it ,you can take your money to
western union and send it through that means.

I will be glad if we conclude with the bank tomorrow
and they transfer this money so that I can have rest
of mind.

Try again today.

Yours brother
George Burch

He even makes the above plea twice for good measure.

I try to hold Citi Bank off for a bit longer.

Quote:

My attorney is working on the documents and should present them to you
shortly.

Hannah

And believe it or not, George goes for the Trifecta on his last message, and sends it yet again.

I dooo so hope he was telling the truth about hovering in front of the terminal at the net cafe, waiting for the magic number.

Quote:

Dear Hannah
I just left the net now after waiting for about 6hrs
on the net for your prompt action.

Maybe you must gone out to correct all the number.

It is very important that we conclude this transaction
so that we can meet,this transaction is a rob now on
my neck.
Try to settle this matter today.

My former question you did not answer me,Are we going
to meet in London?Or Shall I come to USA.

Your faithfully
George Burch

Oh, dear, I hate it when my bank gets uncomfortable with my protocols.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah Lanham
Date 16th Nov.2004
OUR BANK IS NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR PROTOCOLS
====================================================
Madam,

We are not satisfied with your promise ,because up till now your lawyer has not shown up rather he sent a letter that the delay is due to financial problem to secure the Certificate.The Citi Bank Plc has exhausted our banking patience and regulations.

We accept your appeal,but it must come up with a specific date,which is to say tomorrow or next.We can not continue to wait endlessly with the knowledge of when this document will be handed over to us.Immediately we have the document we will transfer the said amount to your account.

Dr Chris Tanko
Managing Director
CITI BANK PLCX

*snort* Yeah, right.

I tell George I used WU instead, and I get a mite testy.

Quote:

Do you think I have nothing to do all day but bend to your every whim and sit
in front of the computer all day on the off chance that you might email with a
question? I went and withdrew the money, and took it to Western Union.
Attached is a scanned copy of the receipt, to assure that the number is
correct.

Hannah

I include 71 K of garbage file.

George has the gall to get stroppy with me. My commentary in bold.

Quote:

Dear Hannah
I am not in good mode I hate it when I'm not in a good mode.due to the way you are handling
this transaction for me.I send my secretary to western
Union Money transfer and she retrurn and confirmed
that there is no money sent from you and that is even
in the head office of Western Union Money transfer. I had no idea their head office was in Nigeria. When did they move corporate headquarters?

I did not belive her I have to go with her again back
to the bank Man, I hope this is true and there were two trips.and they open the internat They opened up the whooooole internat?and show me
that you did not send any money. Dude, that is, like, uncanny! Because, I didn't!

I think this matter has come to a joking stage Come to? Nah!in
which I will plead with you to write to the bank in
this manner below.You have not done it well and I am
not happy with you and the way you want to destroy my
hard suffering.

Boo. Fecking. Hoo. Why he bothers with this tactic, I have no idea. I do hope that the "Pete Rose" in question was another baiter if there was indeed a rival claimant. No one here claimed the name.

When I got the money I will give you some money just
for honesty sack. What? You'll be sending me money in a sack? Eh?

I was in the bank this morning and they said they will
cancel our payment if that is not concluded with this
time.

Wooblie fingers to show passage of time... woooblie wooblie...

The Bank just call me again now to tell me that the
claim you that you send money to western union is not
true.

Uh huh. And the bank would know because....?

Hannah,I belive that you are not a Christain
maybe. No. But I am a Christian.Because if you are you can not be telling me
liar. To quote a character from Farscape, your capacity for compartmentalization of duplicity is most impressive. I love how lying thieves are so ready to sling mud at you when they feel you're being dishonest. Forget that whole breaking at least 2 of the 10 commandments thing they're doing...

I am not happy at all.

But, man, I sure am!

Yours faithfully
George
======================================================
Attn:The Managing Director
cITI BANK PLC

Sir,

Aplication to change Beneficary.

I use this opportunity to ask your bank to change the
beneficary of late Mr Alex to Mr Peter Rose.

National Australia Bank

BSB number 085 -333
Account number 55 867 5103

Transfer the us$6.650m into his account above .This is
in aggreement with the entire family.
All communication should be directed to him.

Yours faithfully
Mrs hannah Lanham
======================================================

I still play it a bit cautious, as I'm concerned this may be a real victim. I try to get some further info out of George. And if it's a ruse, I'm wasting plenty of his time, so it's a win-win.

George tries to lay a guilt-trip on me.

Quote:

Dear Sister
Have you send the information to the bank so that I
can start to process that with my new contact Mr Peter
Rose in Australia.

Please I am sorry that I bothered you so much,it is
because I need to have this money and I have worked
for it.

Secondly I have spent so much in getting to this
stage,do that soon as it will save you from my
worries.

Yours faithfully
George Burch

I fish for the additional info, assuming there is some.

Quote:

Well, since you can't seem to collect the money I send, I would be glad to
pass the new beneficiary on to the bank. However, since you haven't bothered
to include any sort of email address for the bank to contact Mr. Rose, it's
not going to do much good is it? After all, the bank can't contact him if they
don't have his email address, now can they?

Hannah

Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 6:54 pm

But George, despite using "Thank You" as his subject, doesn't seem all that grateful.

Quote:

Dear Hannah
Thank you for your help.Do not worry about his email,I
will be with the bank by myself and I will pass the
email of the bank to Mr Peter .

I will be glad if that is done today.God Bless YOU.

Yours faithfully
George

I am... how you say... petulant.

Quote:

Then I'm not writing the bank.

Hannah

So there, nyahhh!

Quote:

Dear Hannah
What have I done to you? Been a scamming, lying, filthy SOB? And you smell? You are not ready for this
transaction and you feel like you can spoil my future.

You are a woman and I see no reason why you should be
behaving like this. Translation: I can't believe you're beeeeeing so meeeeeeen!

Do not worry I will know what to do concerning this
matter. Dammit. You aren't going to send me any money are you? Aw, snap.

I am happy to meet with you and you showing your
person before the money comes into your account. Pretty please? Just a little money?

God bless you,in all you did to me. I'm sure he's blessed me for keeping you from picking someone else's pocket, George.

Yours
George Burch

Citi Bank doesn't seem to have gotten the "She's not buying it." memo.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah Lanham
Date 19th Nov.2004
URGENT AFFIDAVIT OF CHANGE OF DOCUMENT
============================================

Madam ,

Your attorney submited an affidavit of change of documents and also and account from the High Court that you are in aggreemnet with this matter.

It is very important give us approval to this effect so that we can make the payment as the required documents will be changed to Mr Peter B. Rose

Urgent attention is required.

Best Regards

Dr Chris Tanko

Managing Director

I see this as a last ditch effort to convince me they are for real and about to give "my" money to someone else. I see an opportunity to tell them to shove it where the sun don't shine.

I reply to George.

Quote:

> Dear Hannah
> What have I done to you?You are not ready for this
> transaction and you feel like you can spoil my future.

Well, besides wasting my time with all these excuses and stories and promises,
when you can't even seem to work a Western Union transfer, and then finishing
off by asking me to contact the bank for you, and then claiming you can do it
yourself? Not much.

>
> You are a woman and I see no reason why you should be
> behaving like this.
>

And what, precisely, does my being a woman have to do with it? Do you think
just because I'm a woman I should lay down and let you walk all over me?

> Do not worry I will know what to do concerning this
> matter.
>
> I am happy to meet with you and you showing your
> person before the money comes into your account.
>
> God bless you,in all you did to me.
>
> Yours
> George Burch

Same to you.

Hannah

Annnnd Citi Bank. I think we've all wanted to talk to a real bank this way.

Quote:

I'm not giving you my approval. The money can rot in your bank for all I
care.

Hannah

The idiot actually replies. If I had had more time, I think I would have tried the "beg you to take me back" approach.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah Lanham

We are granting your lawyers request as it has the backup of the High Court with an affidavit.

Best regards

Dr Chris Tanko

Managing Director

Oh, joy. He just bent over and presented me his derriere with a big fat bullseye on it.

Quote:

Then why the hell did you waste my time by asking my permission, if it wasn't
necessary? Stupid banker.

Hannah

Thus ends the saga of annoying George Burch. Long may he suck at scamming royally.