Wet and Wild Fun

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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:27 am

This is an ongoing and relatively recent bait but I thought that I'd post it here and update regularly. I also think this would be a good way of getting feedback from baiters who have more experience baiting as a female character.

The lad was one of hundreds in my catcher account received after E.K.'s most recent shuttle. The initial letter was the standard 2 orphans, dad and mom killed by <insert reason and/or tragedy here>, lots of loot and we wanna move to your country.

Right then. Let's see if I can get in touch with my feminine side.

My reply:

Quote:

Dear Caroline,
I have read your message and am deeply concerned about the health and
safety of your sister and yourself. Please let me know if there is
anything I can do to help.

Warmest Regards,

Wetten Wylde

It takes less than 12 hours for the lad to get back:

Quote:

Dear Wetten Wylde,

May this mail find you happiness and peace in our business transaction.

Thank you very much for responding to our mail and we do appriciate your kind concerned and we are ready to explain to you to the best of our knowlegde,We are so sorry for what happened to both of you.

We lost our parent and our late father Dr Phillip Colman made a deposit of money with a bank here in a fixed deposit and the amount is USD$10M dollars on a bank here in Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire in West Africa.

Please open the attachment documents of the followings,
1.This is the Agreement Letter issued to our late father Dr Phillp Colman on the day of deposit at the bank.

2.Our photo ID Cards issued us from the United Nation here in Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire as our Identity card on our arrival from our country called (Sierre-Leone).

3.My Personal photos

If you go through the bank document you will see the reason why the bank will not release the money to me because i am under age as it was agreed with my late father Dr Phillip Colman that the bank will release the money to me at the age of 26 years or to my choosen Gurdian and it was documented ,Based on this we contacted you so that the bank will transfer the money USD$10M to your nominated bank account.

Based on this I and my junior sister Caroline is fronting you to be the gurdian to the money for our up bringing and investment purposes in your country.

We have sent you the whole details informations regaring this transaction and we look forward from you to conclude this transaction as quickly as possible and we will be happy with you throughout our life time.

Please,We will like you to provide us Your banking details where the funds will be transferred into,With this complete details proof you will see that we have nothing to do with your banking details rather it's meant for the USD$10M to be transferred into.

All the above we will submit to the bank for the transfer and bear in mind that the bank are still waiting for us to submit the details where we want the money USD$10M to be transferred into.

NB:Right now we are in a hotel because the UNITED NATIONS are not taking a very good care of us and we have to move down to a hotel where we are presently staying.

As soon as we received your banking informations we will release the details of our late fathers account through the WEBSITE of the bank for you to access it by yourself and see the existing of the USD$10M for your perusal,That means we are TOTAL INTRUSTING YOU OF THE FUNDS BY GIVING YOU THE LOGIN NAME AND THE PASS WORDS FOR YOU TO ACCESS THROUGH YOUR COMPUTER AND YOU CAN AS WELL CONTACT THE BANK REGARDING THE TRANSFER.

1.Do you have a child?
2.How old are you?
3.What do you do for a living?
4.Where can you invest the money USD$10M?

Looking forwards to have a look at your picture.

Best Regards.

Waiting for your banking details.

Yours sincerely ones.

Fortune/Caroline Colman.

(Fortunes photos and documents can be found here:)

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64/Hans_Picture-Show/DepositAgreement.jpg
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64/Hans_Picture-Show/FortunePhoto2.jpg
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64/Hans_Picture-Show/MYIDCARD.jpg
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64/Hans_Picture-Show/MYSISTERID.jpg
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64/Hans_Picture-Show/FortuneColman041005.jpg

I don't ever bother reading through his standard script but rather skip to the bottom and I wonder what the heck does me having a child or not have to do with 10 million smackeroos?

So Wetten replies in her good mannered, naive and slightly dumb way.

Quote:

Dear Caroline and Fortune,

Thank you for your e-mail. I can provide you with some information at this time.

My full name is Wetten Wylde Vulva. I am a citizen of the United
States and both myself and my husband are of Prussian origin. Wetten
is my maiden name and Vulva is my husband's name and my married name.
I usually use my maiden name in my correspondences.
I am so sorry but I do not have a fax machine. As for the phone, I am
limited to the use a special type of phone called a "TextPhone" for
the hearing impaired. It is a phone that translates the human voice
into text on a screen, much like computer speech programs. You see,
almost 2 years ago, my husband and I were in a car accident and were
both seriously injured. We seem to be accident prone, this was our
fifth one in 3 years. I suffered head injuries and as a result, lost
my hearing in both ears. That is why I can not utilize a standard
phone. If you happen to have a TextPhone, then we could communicate,
but I do not think you do as they are very specialized and very
expensive. We do however have e-mail and this should be fine for now.
My husband is in the process of setting up a special phone line that
will take messages and send them to my computer screen so I can view
them. I will let you know when this is set-up as this should prove
convenient for you and your sister.

I am not comfortable with giving you all of my banking details at this
early stage. However I can supply you with the name of our locally
owned bank, here in San Andreas Fault in California (it's next to San
Francisco). We normally do our banking at Alcatraz Savings and Loans.
I hope this is enough information for you.
I will send a picture of myself with my next e-mail. I am looking
forward to your next e-mail with much anticipation.

Sincerely,

Wetten Wylde

But then Wetten decides to give out a bit more info in order to set the mood a bit more:

Quote:

Dear Fortune and Caroline,

Thank you for your e-mail and your kind words.

In answer to your questions namely:

1.Do you have a child? - We do not. We are planning on having one in
a few years from now.

2.How old are you? - I am 29 years old and my husband is 33.

3.What do you do for a living? - I am a full-time stage actress and
part-time television actress. Although I have have not been in many
stage productions since the accident, for obvious reasons, my
television career is still going strong. Right now I play a character
named Buxom LaFiz in the day-time television medical drama Santa
Barbara Proctology CSI. I've been playing that role for the last 8
months. The character I play is that of a french exchange assistant
crime scene investigator specializing in a very specific medical field
and helping to solve murders. Although it is hard to act with my
hearing impairment, I have a very good acting coach and television is
much easier than live theatre since television is taped so we can
re-do scenes anytime. Funny thing is I don't even speak french.

4.Where can you invest the money USD$10M? - We have a very good
friend of ours here in San-Francisco that is also our professional
investment advisor. He could help you out with investment
opportunities.

I hope you and your sister are still well.

SIncerely,

Wetten Wylde

P.S. I will get some of my photos scanned and send them to you as soon
as possible

I had to stall a bit until I could get my ring central account set up. I decide to give my lad the good news.

Quote:

Dear Caroline and Fortune,

I hope you are both doing well.
Good news! My husband was able to install my voice mail phone line
today. Here is my phone number. It's in San Francisco U.S.A where we
live. The phone number is XXX XXX XXX. I think this will be much
easier for you and I since you will be able to leave me a short
message and I will be able to read it.
As promised, I've also included a few pictures of me. They're nothing
special, but it's a start. One is with my best friend Genny. The
second one is of me at the festival of performance art in San Andreas
Fault and the last one is of me going out on the town last week.

I hope you are still both well and look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,

Wetten

I've sent the lad pictures of TV soap opera actress Tamara Braun (General Hospital I think). I was certain that the lad would twig after receiving these since the pictures I had sent to him were filed under Tamarra Braun. I have since then changed the file name. To my relief, the lad didn't even notice.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64/Hans_Picture-Show/Wetten/AnnyandGenny.jpg
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64/Hans_Picture-Show/Wetten/Wettennightout.jpg
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64/Hans_Picture-Show/Wetten/Wettenatfestival.jpg

Ok, so the trust level seems good.

Quote:

Dear Aunty Wetten,

May this mail find you more joy and happiness in your entire life.

Thanks for your mails and your phone number which you have forwarded to us.

This is to let you know that we are very very happy to have some one like you in this transaction and we have much confident in you to relating and TRUSTING you this fund under your able care and we look forward for you to conclude this transaction as soon as possible.

We have taken you to be our Aunty and we will like you to contact the bank directly by your self and start getting thing rolling immediately because the hotel management are threating to throw us out from the hotel room because we are owing them some money for accomodation and feeding.

Aunty,You should be fast in concluding this transfer because,If the hotel send us out we are going to face the street and sleep outside which is not good for our us as young children ,So our whole life now depends on you as our Aunty that is why are ENTRUSTING you the fund to take care.

Aunty,Go ahead and contact the bank as you go through the WEBSITE of the bank as we have already today introduced you to the bank manager DR MAXWELL CARTER that you are our choosen Gurdian and we want the fund USD$10M transferred to you for our upbringing and he responded very very fine,So we are happy that our problem wiull come to an end this week.

Bank WebSite:www. (The bank is now 6 feet under)
Click :ACCUNT LOGIN
ACCOUNT LOGIN CODE:xxxx
PASSWORDS:xxxx
Then Click Send

Aunty,This is the full details of our late fathers deposited money USD$10M to the bank and KEEP PLEASE KEEP IT CONFIDENTIAL AT ALL TIME.

Thanks and God be with you.

Waiting for your reply and call +22507623484

Yours sincerely Orphans.

Fortune/Caroline Colman.

AUNTY,PLS FURTHER REPLY US FROM THIS MAIL BOX ACCOUNT.

As soon as the lad gave me the bank website, I went to work to shut it down. I had to stall while this process was going on. So I wrote back to him.

Quote:

Dear caroline and Fortune,

Sorry in being so late in responding, like I've said before, we are
extremely busy out here. Yes I have seen the website and tried to
login, but nothing happens. Do you have an e-mail address for the
person at the bank? Perhaps this you or this person can leave a
message on my special phone line. Oh, and please ask your sister to
leave a message on my phone line, I am dying to hear her voice.

Hope you are well and safe.

Aunty Wetten Wylde

And then went on to contact the "bank"

Quote:

To whom it may concern,

I have been requested to contact you on behalf of Caroline and Fortune
Calaman. I am not certain what to do next and am awaiting your
instructions. By the way, I could not log into your website.

Regards

Wetten Wylde

Meanwhile, I try and keep my orphans busy by asking them to phone me on my special phone. So far the lad and his sister have left 8 messages on my U.S. ring central number.

Quote:

Hello to you both Caroline and Fortune,

i saw your phone message on my special machine today. Although I could
not hear it, my friends told me that you both have beautiful voices.
Thank you so much for phoning.
I have sent a quick memo to the bank. I still cannot access the website.

I will be very busy these next 72 hours since my husband is leaving
for Hawai soon.

SIncerely,

Aunty Wet

By this time I think the lad is starting to panic. The fake bank is dead and he seems to be running out of ideas. Twisted Evil

Quote:

Dear Aunty,

We have called several times your phone number is always on vioce records.

1.Please have you been in contacts of the bank?

We are waiting to hearing from you.

Thanks and God be with you.

Waiting for your reply.

Yours sincerely Orphans.

Fortune and Caroline Colman.

I've also asked the lad for a picture of his sister Caroline since I only have her I.D. picture. I wanted the lad to have to do more work and see what fake he could come up with. The crafty little weasel came back with this reply:

Quote:

Aunty Wetten Wylde,

May this mail find you peace and joy in our business transaction.

Thank you once again for your kind email concerning both of us.

We are waiting for you to go ahead and contact the bank so that the money will be transfer to you for our both upbringing.

We can only type and send you mails.You know we use to pay for the Cyber cafe,Each one hour (1) ONE THOUSAND 1000 CFA local curreny here which is expensive for us based on our condition that we have no cash at hand,Only hope in you getting the funds to your own bank account for our upbringing.

Caroline is ever ready to take a photo but it's going to cost us TWO THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED CFA(2,500 CFA local currency here)

We have given you the full details of ourselves,Our family and the transaction,It's your humble duty to rescue us from our situation because we are in a PITIABLE SITUATION as the hotel management is threating to throw us outside the hotel room because we are owing them some money for hotel accomodation and feeding,This is our present situation as we find it ver hard to eat once in a day.

Aunty,Taking the picture depends on you sending us some littel money to cover the expensis,We are not even relaxing because we mighty face the street at any time and we lives in fear because we are afraid we can be chase out from the room at any time from now.
Thanks and God be with you.

Waiting for your reply.

Yours sincerely orphans.

Fortune/caroline Colman.

Ok then, screw the picture. Time to change gears, since this bate is starting to get boring and he is really starting to get on my nerves.

Quote:

Dearest and Lovely Sweet Aunty,

This is to let you know that we called you on the phone to leave the voice message on the phone so that you can hear our both vioces.

1.Aunty,We hope you heard our both voices?

2.Aunty,Have you now contact the bank with the email address sent to you?

Aunty,We are very hungry and tired and we looking forward for you to round up this transaction ok.

Thanks and God be with you.

Waiting for your concluction.

Yours sincerely orphans.

Dear Aunty,

This is to let you know that you have to be reaching us from this mail box account ok.
Aunty,We went to the bank,The bank manager Mr Maxwell Carter said that he did not received any message from you and please we will like you to contact him again regarding the transfer because things are very hard for us and we are going to face the street of abidjan as the hotel management said that we will be send out from the hotel room at any time.

Bellow is contact bank phone and fax number including the email address,
Name:Mr Maxwell Carter,Bank Manager
Tel : +xxxxxxxxxxx
Fax : +xxxxxxxxx
Email Address : xxxxxxx@xxxxxxx

Aunty,Kindly contact the bank as soon as possible and get back to us immediatetly

Aunty,please do not allow us to see shame and disgrace as we depends only on you.

Thanks and God be with you.

Waiting for your reply.

Yours sincerely ones.

And so one and so on for about 5 more similar e-mails. At this point, I suspect the lad is working with someone else (the banker) and that communication between them is not flowing very well. The bank has been shut down for a while and the idiot lad still gives me the same old e-mail address.

I finally hear from the banker. But he still refers me to the old e-mail address and the old fake bank site. Don't these lads realize that is it now a late bank?

Quote:

DEAR SIR,

WE WRITE IN RESPECT TO THE ABOVE MATTER.
WE REQUIRE THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIONS FROM YOU FOR DOCUMENTATIONS PURPOSES AS WE HAVE GOTTEN THE INITIAL CUSTORDIAL AGREEMENT, WE NEED YOUR FULL NAMES,CONTACT ADDRESS AND PHONE . A COPY OF YOU INTERNATONAL PASSPORT OR ANY KIND OF ID WITH YOUR PHOTO ON IT . SEND IT BY EMAIL ATTACHMENT TO US.

HOWEVER,YOU HAVE TO RE-ACTIVATE YOUR PARTNER'S ACCOUNT MR.EPHRAME WOPEGO OUR CLIENT AND NORMALISE IT.SO,YOU ARE ADVISED TO SEND THE SOME OF $1,600.00 FOR THE RE-ACTIVATION AND GETTING LEGAL PAPERS TO BACK-UP THE TRANSFER.

AS SOON AS WE RECIEVE YOUR SCANED ID AND THE FEES, THE BANK AUTHORITY WILL TRANSFER THE SAID $10.MILLION US DOLLARS WITHIN 48HOURS TO THE BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER WHICH YOU HAVE PROVIDED.

YOU SHOULD VISIT OUR BANK'S WEBSITE SO THAT YOU WILL UNDERSTAND BETTER.

www.xxxxxxxxxx

CLICK ACCOUNT LOGIN ,THEN ENTER xxxx ON THE ACCOUNT LOGIN CODE

AND ENTER xxxxx ON THE PASS WORD.

THANKS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING.WE AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE ASAP

REGARDS,

MR.MAXWELL CARTER
BANK MANAGER

PHONE: xxxxxxxx

And then the same thing from Fortune.

Quote:

Dearest Sweet Aunty,

Please did contacted the bank with the email address we sent to you yesterday?

Email Address: xxxxxx@xxxxxxx

Aunty,Please we did not hear from you,Aunty are you ok?

Thanks and God be with you.

Waiting for your reply update informations.

Yours sincerely orphans.

Fortune/Caroline Colman.

So now I have enough of this bank stuff. Time to through a curve.

First, to get the bank off my back:

Quote:

Dear Sir,

I have on numerous times tried to log into your website without
success. This morning I could not even access the website of your
bank. Please tell me what is going on. I sincerely wish to help the
children of the late Mr. Colman.

Thank you,

Sincerely,

Wetten Wylde

Dear Sir,

Here is the information requested.
Wetten Wylde
14719 Gargoyle Lane
San Andreas Fault, CA
94146
U.S.A.
Phone number: xxx xxx xxxx (TextPhone compatible only)

Sincerely,

And then to my lad:

Quote:

Dear Caroline and Fortune,

Yes I have tried many times to contact the bank. I cannot access the
website you gave me, there is an error message every time I try. The
e-mail you gave is not good either. I've tried sending messages to the
e-mail address that you gave me and they keep coming back with a
message saying that the address does not exist and that the message is
undeliverable.
I cannot do anything else from this here.
Are you two safe? I am starting to worry about you.
And I found out about some bad news concerning me and my husband
today. So I am much distress about everything.
Please call me on my TextPhone and tell me that you are and perhaps
tell me what to do next.

Love

Wetten

The little weasel will not let go of the bank thing. He's as bad as a junkyard dog:

Quote:

Dearest Sweet Aunty,

May this mail find you peace and joy in our business transaction.

Aunty,We really appricate all your efforts towards us and may the Almighty God protect and guide you always.

Aunty,The bank manager Mr Maxwell Carter gave us this email address for you to us to contact the bank.

Email Address: xxxxxxxx@xxxxxxxx

Aunty,Please contact the bank manager Mr Maxwell Carter as soon as possible.

Aunty,We are safe for now and the only problem we have is for you to conclude this transfer as soon as possible to aviod us been thrown outside the street as the hotel management is always shouting and threating us because we are owing hotel bills.

Aunty,Contact the bank and get back to us immediately ok.

We remain's to love you always from the bottom of our heart ok.

Thanks and God be with you.

Waiting for your reply.

Yours sincerely orphans.

Fortune/Caroline Colman.

I think that at this point the lad actually went back and re-read my last e-mail to which he replies:

Quote:

Dearest Sweet Aunty,

May this mail find you peace and joy in our business transaction.

Aunty,We really appricate all your efforts towards us and we are very sorry because we made a mistake in the email address of the bank by adding (S) on OPERATIONS INSTEAD of OPERATION NO (S),Please forgive us as we are in a hurry ok.

Aunty,Please pick us the correction bellow and on the subject ok.

Aunty,The Email Address is : xxxxxx@xxxxxxx

Aunty,Please contact the bank manager Mr Maxwell Carter as soon as you receive this email froim us.

Aunty,Please take it easy with your lovely husband as we will not want to hear you have problems with him so that you can have relax mind in getting this transfer concluded in a few days time ok. Kinda shows me his one track mind Laughing

Aunty,We are Not safe as we are going to be chase out from the hotel by tomorrow or next tomorrow been friday,This is our present situation now at hand.

Aunty,Contact the bank and get back to us immediately ok.

Thanks and God be with you.

Waiting for your reply.

Yours sincerely orphans.

Fortune/Caroline Colman.

So now that he has left the door open, time to try and get him off his script:

Quote:

Dear Caroline and Fortune,

I have sent another e-mail to the new address you have given me.

Please tell me what is going on with the bank and why I cannot access
the bank's website.

As for the problems with my husband, I found out last night that he
was cheating on me with another man. He admitted to me last night that
he was a homosexual and has been lying to me all these years. I am
very sad and distraught over this. He actually told me that he loved
this man more than he loved me and that he intends to leave me for
him. I do not know his name but I will find out.

Anyway, that is my problem. I hope you two are safe and warm.

Sincerely (in tears)

Wetten

I wonder how he is going to respond to this bombshell?

Quote:

Dearest Sweet Aunty,

Thank you very much for your mail and this is to let you know that the bank manager said that we should give you this email address since you find it very difficult to contact the bank and he gave us the recent email address you can have bellow.

Email Address: [email protected]

Aunty,Please try and do your best to contat the bank today and wait for the response from the bank ok.

We pray that you will succed in sending the mail to the bank successfully.

Aunty,you are not able to login should be a minor error which you never find out but since you have the document we send you given to us by our late father as you can see as prove you do not need to worry as you have our Id cards from united nations and my own personl photos,so go ahead and get thing done as possible,But bear in mind that by tomorrow or next tomorrow we are facing the street all we need from you is words of encouragement and your follow up to conclude the transfer and do whatever the banks ask you to do for our own good.

Aunty,We hope you have taken our advice for not going to make problems with your lovely husband and we will be happy to hear you have resolved the issue with her:lol: ok.

Please you do not need to cry just pray to resolve our problems by concluding the transfer ok.

Thanks and God be with you.

Waiting for the good news.

Yours sincerely orphans.

Fortune And caroline Colman.

So it finally hits the lad that the bank is kaput. He gave me a new e-mail address for the bank manager. And at least this time he gave me a paragraph about my troubles with my husband. He must think that all homosexuals are drag queens; he called my husband a her. Laughing

I reply, still stalling him on the bank issue:

Quote:

Dear Caroline and Fortune,

I have sent a message to the bank using the exact same e-mail you gave
and it has already come back that it was not delivered the address
does not exist. Are you sure that it is the right bank.

I have to go, my husband is back and I need to talk to him.

SIncerely, (in tears and agony)
Wetten

Now I need to acknowledge the bank's new e-mail address and sweeten the pot a bit. I hope he gets the hint.

Quote:

Dear Caroline and Fortune,

Thank you for providing me with the new e-mail address. I will send a
message to the bank official right away.

As for your advice about me and my husband, I'm afraid it is too late.
He is packing his bags as I am writing this e-mail and he is moving in
with his gay lover tonight. He said he will be back later this week to
pick-up the rest of his stuff. I have already gotten a lawyer and I
intend to sue him for all he has. And I told him that I am keeping our
house here in San Andreas Fault. I do not want the bastard to have our
17 room house and ocean view!

I will let you know when the bank replies.

In the meantime, I am starting to feel lonely already. Please phone me
on my TextPhone and leave a message for me. It would console me so
much and make me feel better.

Sincerely (In tears and lonely)

Aunty Wetten

I also write to the bank who asked me for some information as well as a scan of my passport. I used one of the tricks mentioned in the forums about how to avoid sending I.D.s.

Quote:

Dear Sir,

Here is the information requested.
Wetten Wylde
14719 Gargoyle Lane
San Andreas Fault, CA
94146
U.S.A.
Phone number: 415 869 9834 (TextPhone compatible only)

Sincerely,

Wetten Wylde

Attachment: <<passport.jpg>>

WARNING!

The attachment has been automaticaly removed.

Under the US Homeland Security Act 2002
(section 4 subsection AF1138 paragraph 11-9)
and the Electronic Communications Act 223
(section7 subsection C14 paragraph 41-9),
it is illegal for US citizens to send
copies of their identification (wether passport or
driver's licence or any other form of identification)
via the internet. This was enacted to prevent
terrorists and other criminal elements from making
false identification.

Works like a charm. The bank came back asking for the money to re-open the account but not a peep about the passport scan. Twisted Evil

Meanwhile, little slimeball Fortune gets a bit too full of himserlf for his own good health:

Quote:

Dearest Sweetest And Loving Aunty,

May this mail clean ups you tears of joy,Remember that as you are sheding tears over there in US,Both of us are crying hear after reading your pitiable situation as what your husband did to you.

We wounder how your husband will keep to a GAY LOVER while you are woman approved by God that Man and Woman should get married and it becames Husband And Wife,Any way let it not bothered you much ok.

Please our advice is for you to make sure you conclude this transfer as soon as possible while we are looking forward to fly to America to come and live with you and you will be happy throughout your life time,You know I am handsome and a lots of girls on the street admires me a lot.I am ready to take you as a wife throughout my life and the money that is coming to your end will be for our both family and it will circulate within our both family as we are going to be Husband And Wife ok.I am suggesting and I love you and I am dying for your love ever since I saw your photo,I told caroline and she is happy about it and now your husband has fucked you up,I am taking over you ok.

Sweet Heart,I love you,I think about you and I dreamt about you.(Smile) I have a special flower for you on my coming to States,It's the first thing I will hand you over for the first time we are going to meet each other face to face.

1.Have you now contact the bank and have a response from the bank?

2.How fast and serious are you going to conclude this transfer?

Thanks and God be with you.

Waiting for your reply.

Yours sincerely.

Fortune and Caroline Colman.

What a Romeo! "I love you, now gimmee the money."
Kinda like walking into someone's party and saying to the host; "Hi. Nice to meet you. Where's the bar?"

Ok, so his e-mail are starting to refer more to my problems and less to the bank. Perhaps I can slowly knock this lad off-script.

Quote:

Dear Caroline and Fortune,

Thank you very much for your phone calls. It was nice of you to show
me your support.
I sent the information to the bank this morning and hopefully we will
be receiving a reply shortly.
Thank you very much for your offer Fortune. It's nice of you to say
those things and I'm sure that the girls find you handsome but I think
you may be a little bit too young for me.
It was a nice thought and I am touched. Perhaps in the future I may be
persuaded to change my mind, but for now I really don't know you and
have only 2 of your pictures so I really don't know what you look
like.
My husband has left yesterday night and he will be getting the rest of
his things by tomorrow. It's sad that I will be spending the weekend
alone in this big house.
Oh well, I'll get over it.

Sincerely,

Wetten

Oh well, I was wrong.

Quote:

Dear Aunty,
Thanks for your mails and your words of adviced ok.

Please do not be discouraged as as soon as you conclude this transfer we are coming over to stay wioth you and you will not feel lonely again and bear in mind that every thing depends on you now.

This is to let you know that we received your mail and we went to the bank the bank manager said that a mail was sent to you and you are require to send some money to the bank for the bank to REACTIVATE the account before the money will be transferred to you.

Please,Kindly go ahead and send the money to the bank requires inorder for the transfer to take place ok.

Please when are you sending the money to the bank?

Thanks and cheers up now.

Waiting for the final good news.

Yours sincerely ones.

Fortune/Caroline Colman.

He actually sent me this before the bank did! Laughing

I'll deal with him later. First back to the bank business. They send me this:

Quote:

Dear Wetten Wylde,

Having received your mail.

We mentioned the activation of the account and how much it will cost you to get the account re-activated.

We are looking forward for you to make the payment for the re-activation.

Maxwell Carter.

OK, that's cool. If this bait goes the way I hope, I have a few surprises for the bankers.
So I reply:

Quote:

Dear Sir,

I've received your message regarding the funds. Please indicate the
amount required again. Also, please give me your bank website so I can
access it. I will go to my bank and instruct them to do a branch to
branch electronic transfer from my bank to yours into Caroline's and
Fortune's account.

Sincerely,

Wetten Wylde

And now let's see about Fortune:

Quote:

Dear Caroline and Fortune,

I am in communication with the bank and have sent them my information
along with a photocopy of my passport. I am expecting a reply soon so
hang in there.

Fortune, don't tell this to your sister but I am still thinking about
what you wrote to me the other day. That was very sweet. Perhaps I may
take you up on the offer sometime. It would certainly be different
than having my big fat ugly husband around. (giggle)
Are you good in bed? (giggle, giggle) Just joking!

Love,

Wetten

I receive this from Fortune. I don't know what to do with the :bye bye for now" bit. Is he passing me on to his maga? Notice that I am no longer Aunty Wetten but just plain Wetten.

Quote:

Dearest Wetten,

Thanks for your mail and your communication with the bank.

We are very happy that you are following up the transaction now.

Right now,We have been chase out from the hotel because we are owing them hotel bills as we told you earlier and it has come to pass now.Please And Please conclude this transfer and get thing done with immediate effect to see that you send the money the bank needed to conclude this transfer ok.

This is to let you know that you have to conclude this transaction and we come up and you can make up your full mind on what you want by then you are seeing me face to face,But me as a person I do love you and I do care for you,So you shouldn't let what your ex husband did bothers you as you are lonely now,This is my advice.

Bye Bye for now.

waiting for the final good news.

Yours sincerely ones.

Fortune And caroline Colman

Fine then, time to give my lad a drunken slapity slap.

Quote:

Dear Caroline and Fortune,

I've received your last e-mail and am truly sorry about your situation
but I can only go as fast as the bank responds to me. I cannot work
miracles. Be patient.

And Fortune, I am getting the feeling that you are more interested in
your money (it is still YOUR money since the funds haven't been
transfered yet) than in me and my predicament.
I don't think you realize just what happened.
My husband of 4 years has left me for another man! Do you realize how
insulting and hurtful this is? He left ME, a woman with a body that
most men would kill for to hold in there arms! Let alone spend the
night with!

Right now I am in a very bad mood and very drunk! And I'm starting to
think that you are like the other men out there! You don't understand
me and what I am going through! Perhaps you don't appreciate the fact
that I am trying to help you at the same time as I have to deal with
my own misery. You are being a very selfish little boy.
Maybe this whole thing is a mistake. Perhaps I cannot help you after
all and you need to find someone else. I tried but your stupid bank is
just too slow.

As for me, I'll find me another man to be with in this big empty house.

Wetten

Hopefully more to follow.

Well, well. Looks like Fortune does not appreciate being called a little boy.
This is what I get in my in-box this morning:

Quote:

You Are A Useless woman,That's Why your husband left you for a man,Shameless thing like you.

Idiot,You think your helping me gives you room to insult my person and i found out you are nothing but a joker in life.

Moi? A joker! No way that he's getting away with that.
(Note: To those who do not believe in the power of a good slap, behold! Very Happy

)

Quote:

Fortune,

I've received your e-mail and frankly I have no idea what you are talking about.

For a young man who said that he loved me and wanted me to be his wife
just two e-mails ago and then turns around and calls me an idiot and a
shameless woman, you have some nerve dipshit.

By the way, I am not only helping you, I am helping you AND your
sister so stop being so selfish. Caroline is in the same situation as
you are and I don't hear her complaining. You should learn by her
example.

If you had just a hint of sensitivity and wits about you, you would
have realized that my last e-mail was my way to vent at a very
infuriating situation. You obviously don't.

Now then, on to more pragmatic issues. The bank has sent me two
e-mails and things are going very well. In fact, I consider the amount
requested by the bank to re-activate the account very reasonable and I
have absolutely no problem raising $1600. In fact I could come up with
five times that amount if I had to.

Now then, I am willing to send the amount to the bank this weekend but
let me point something out to you, you mental midget. You came to me
for help, not the other way around. It just turns out that I have had
my own issues as well and I am trying to handle both. As it stands
now, I am so upset at you that I would be only willing to help your
sister come to the U.S. and leave you behind. But I will not do that.
I am to big of a person; unlike you.

So then, I am ready to sent the $1600 to the bank this weekend. If you
want still want my help in accessing your funds and bringing you and
your sister to the U.S., this is what you will do. You will apologize
to me for your last e-mail and for everything that you said in it..
You will promise never never to do it again or we are through. If you
want to come to the U.S. and be my "man" and me your wife, you will
have to learn to handle life like a man.

I hope you will do this, if not for us, then at least for your sister.
If you let her down, you are less than a man.

I will also send a message to bank telling them that I have received
their instructions and I am just waiting for you to apologize before I
send out the money.

Sincerely,

Wetten Wylde

And of course, I advise the bank that we have a little snag.
(I'm going by the assumption that the bank is my lad's maga, but can't be sure. If this is the case, the lad gets a double slap; one from me and one from his maga)

Quote:

Sir,

I have received your e-mail and instructions. I understand that I have
to send the amount of $1600 to your bank via Western Union.

I am ready and willing to do this but I have run into a snag with
young Mr. Fortune Coleman. His attitude has been extremely rude and he
has insulted me in a very hurtful way. I don't know about your
country, but in the U.S. when a man insults a woman, all deals are
off. I will grant you and Mr. Fortune another chance. I am waiting for
an apology from the young man. If I do receive it, I will send the
funds and both he and his sister can access them and finally come to
the U.S.

If I do not receive an apology, I cannot help you or them anymore.
Traditions are sacred in my country and I have no wish to break them.

I do hope that for his sake and the sake of his sister Caroline, you
will talk to young Mr. Colman.

Sincerely,

Wetten Wylde

Less than 2 hours later, I guess this from my humbled lad.

Quote:

Dearest Wetten Wylde,

May this mail finds you peace and joy in your entire life.

Thanks a lots for your adviced and instructions which I personally have to Abide to it.

This is to let you know that Caroline is not aware of the rudeness mail I sent to you and she found out about the mail and was alawys crying that I want to deny her from seeing you in the USA,That I MUST apologies to you or we can never be in good terms again and she went to the extent of not eating any thing till now.

She is right her with me for me to apologies to you.

I Mr Fortune Colman,I am here just to APOLOGIES to you to forgive me in any way I must been rude and insulted you,I am not surpose to do that to you ,I surpose to be on your side that you really needed me,But I am real SORRY for what I did to you this morning.

I have personaly apologies to My younger sister Caroline also for been rude to you and i have now setteled with back with her and we are like brother and sister again..

I hope you accept my Apologies and Forgives Me From The Bottom Of Your Heart.?

We do love you from the bottom of our heart.I promise to love you forever ok.

Please have a nice sleep and dream very fine ok.

Thanks and God be with you.

Waiting for the good news.

Yours sincerely ones.

Fortune And Caroline Colman.

Of course, mentioning the fact that I am ready to send the money this weekend is also a good incentive. Wink

Ok, that will do for now I guess:

Quote:

Dear Fortune,

Thank you for your e-mail and your apologies are accepted. You can
thank your sister Caroline for this. She is a very strong young woman.

Please send a copy of your apology message to the bank so that we can
resume. I'm certain that the director would like to know that we are
on speaking terms again.

Sincerely,

Wetten

Also, my lad left me a message on my voice mail apologizing so much it was pathetic!

Back in business Twisted Evil