Ms. Fagina's House of Love - Update 4/22

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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 6:28 pm

(My emails are in DARK RED, Lad comments are in GREEN and my snide remarks are just regular old black...

HELLO,
I AM CALVIN, A CITIZEN OF TEXAS, IN USA,I AM A MINISTER OF GOD, ONE OF THE FOUNDER OF THE PENTICOSTAL GOSPEL MINISTRY (PGM), AND I WAS TRANSFER BY THE BOARD OF TRUSTES TO NIGERIA, AND NOW, I AM PASTORING THE NATIONAL HEADQUATER IN NIGERIA IMMEDIATELY WE LOSS OUTFORMER HEAD THERE IN NIGERIA WHOSE NAME IS CELESTINA ABEL,AND ALSO SHE HAVE A STORE IN NIGERIA AS WELL WHICH I AM TO TAKE CARE AND MONITOR IS TH DIRECTOR OF THE STORE. SO WE WILL LIKE TO ORDER FOR SOME ITEMS IN YOUR STORE, AND THE PAYMENT WILL BE MADE WITH THE STORE CREDIT CARD, ALSO WILL SHIP THROUGH (USPS EMS 2-3DAYSEXPRESS SHIPPING METHOD) TO THE STORE IN NIGERIA, BUT BEFORE I PROCEED, I WILL LIKE TO KNOW IF YOU DO SHIP TO NIGERIA. IF SO, KINDLY REPLY THIS MAIL, AND ALSO FORWARD THE LISTOF THE ITEMS YOU HAVE IN STOCK, OR YOU REPLY WITH YOUR WEBSITE SO THAT I CAN LIST THE ITEMS I WANT THERE.

I WILL BE EXPECTING YOUR REPLY ASAP.
THANKS
GOD BLESS YOU

CALVIN

Let's take a moment to analyze shall we?

"I am a citizen of Texas, in the United States." - In North America. On Planet Earth. In the Milky Way. In the Universe.

"..Transfer by the board of trustees to Nigeria..." - Oh huge surprise there.

"I am a minister of God" - Keep that one in mind okay?

"...Immediately we loss outformer head there...." - blah blah blah? Ga bla bu da? Your outformer lost a head? No. More than likely it blew up having to listen to your mindless babble day in and day out. I know it sure gives me a headache.

"I will be expecting your reply ASAP." - DAMN! Demanding little bastard.

Fair enough - let's see how badly he wants to play.

Here fishie fishie...

I have a very large inventory. Can you tell me what you were interested in?

He is interested in purchasing stuff from me. He MUST know what the hell I sell right?

Straight from his ass he pulls this:

Hello,
Thanks for the email, I will like to tell you that I need some jewelries, that is why I have mail you in the first instance, so I will like to have your website so I can list the exact items I need in your stock.

Note that you can also attach and forward your price list to me via email, and I will list items needed immediately.

Thanks
J

(Notice the name change? I don't know if I want to do buisiness with someone who exchanges his own name-- seems awful picky..)

I decide to screw with him a bit and see if he IS as stupid as he THINKS I am.

You must have sent an email to the wrong address. My store sells adult fantasy items.

Heh heh heh. Busted. You don't know what I - or my psuedostore - sell. What will CJ do next?

Hello,
Thanks for the email, I will like to tell you that there is a mistake in replying your mail, I will like to tell you that we need the price list of the exact items presently in your store, and we will let you know the actual once we need and going to make payment for it before shippment.

I await your reply immediately.
Thanks

1. "I will like to tell you...", "I will like to tell you..." SO F*cking TELL ME ALREADY.

2. I "sell" adult fantasy items" -- didn't he tell me he was a minister??? Perv.

3. "I await your reply immediately" - he needs to take a valium and stop demanding crap from me. I DO have a life after all...

Let's see how big of a perv CJ is:

We have over 20,000 items in our store - Twigs, Berries, Beavers & Clams

Could you let me know the category you are interested in? If you let me know the category I can send you the appropriate information:

Adult Fantasy Wear/Cosplay- Male
Adult Fantasy Wear/Cosplay- Female
Dildos & Vibrators
Inflatable Lovers -Human
Inflatable Lovers - Animal
Inflatable Lovers - Alien --- (shout out to MBAO!!!! Smile

)
Dungeon Equipment
Sex-Change Aids
Love Swings, Bungees & Slingshots
Misc. Items
Candy & Other Food

Sincerely
Mistress Fagina

Smile

Hello,

Thanks for the email, I will like to tell you that Iam presently interested in the below items:

Adult Fantasy Wear/Cosplay- Male
Adult Fantasy Wear/Cosplay- Female

kindly get back to me with the list or the catelogs of the items, or and also the price list so i can list the exact once needed presently.

I await your reply immediately.Thanks

I get the feeling CJ is sending me form letters. I don't like that much. He should at least take some effort in writing me letters.

So CJ's wants some Fantasy Wear... I haven't had time to make up my "catalog" so I hae to keep him on the line a bit longer -

We have many items in male and female cosplay - from Japanese anime to dungeon dominatrix, school girl skirts to granny panties, adult babywear too!

And if you can imagine - we have outfits that are totally edible for twice the pleasure!

Please excuse our delay! You will receive our catalog shortly - so break out the lotion and prepare yourself!

It's sure tot TITilate eventhe HARDEST critic.

And remember - you are free to CUM visit our stores located throughoutthe east coast and seedier parts of Mexico!

-------*************************----------------------********************---------------------
We are currrently re-doing our catalog to include some of the new items we have in stock! If you mention the word TOASTYNUTS you will receive 20% off of your purchase of $500 or more!!! It's sure to pop your cap!
-------*************************----------------------********************---------------------

I'll keep you posted.

BTW- I've been sending him random "spam" from my store too Smile

Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 6:37 pm

<----- HUGE cosplay fan

My avatar officially luvs you now.

Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:30 pm

Scamarella, I salute you! Twisted Evil

Great job!

Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 11:26 pm

I can't believe he didn't opt for the love slingshot.... WTF is wrong with these people??

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 12:25 am

UPDATE:

I was too lazy to put much effort in this so I sent him a list of guy stuff...

Quote:

Hi Calvin-

As you requested here is a list of:

Adult Fantasy Wear/Cosplay- Male

Please let us know if we can help you further.

--********************-------------------------**********************------------------
Lubrication problems?? We have what you need. Ask about our
glow-in-the-dark tuna flavored lube-- it won't leave you high and DRY!
-------*************************----------------------********************---------------------

ITEMS FOR MEN

�I�M A DIRTY GIRL�School Girl Skirt $23.50

�I LIKE IT UP THE TAIL PIPE�
Leather Uni-tard $59.75
Comes with bonus butt-plug.

FURRY FRIENDS Anatomically correctSHEEP COSTUME $214.00
FURRY FRIENDS Anatomically correctCOW COSTUME $214.00
FURRY FRIENDS Anatomically correctRHINOCEROS COSTUME $214.00
FURRY FRIENDS Anatomically correctBEETLE COSTUME $214.00

Barbed-Wire Thong $45.50
Barbed-Wire Man-Bra $65.80

Gold Lame Penis Sheath $42.00
Red Velvet Penis Sheath $42.00

Butt-less Chaps $120.00

�Spread �Em� Cop Uniform $79.55

Sailor Moon �Uranus� Cosplay $239.00
Sailor Moon�Saturn�Cosplay $239.00
Sailor Moon�Earth�Cosplay $239.00

Satin Carrot Costume(Ass-less) $195.50

Satin Artichoke Costume(Ass-less) $195.50

Adult Diapers (Plain) $45.50
Adult Diapers (Snoopy) $45.50
Adult Bloomers (Assorted Colors) $45.50

�Bootilicious�Rubber Underwear with Padding $95.50

Leather Dog Collar & Leash $34.50

Thigh High Slut Boots(Vinyl) $49.50
Thigh High Slut Boots(Leather) $98.56

Fake Boobies(Various Sizes) $99.99

Penis Hat $243.00

Imitation Vagina $197.50

�I LOVE POOP PLAY�
Toilet Seat Mask $149.99

Red Leather Jacket with BONUS Sequined Glove $419.00

Latex Body Bag $89.50

�Check Out My Furry Balls�Cheerleader Outfit $199.50

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 1:20 am

Which of the many versions of Sailor Earth are you using? And Uranus definitely works, but how the heck did Sailor Saturn become a Sailor Bubba option? The fat bearded guys all want to be Sailor Moon!

I suppose you could Google "Sailor Bubba" and get some handy pictures to show your lad, though.

Guest

I heartily reccommend pics of Sailor Bubba as a "happy customer" shot. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 1:28 pm

I made the names up- I had seen "Sailor Uranus" on ebay once and figured I would just follow that trend

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:07 pm

Milly Thompson wrote:

I heartily reccommend pics of Sailor Bubba as a "happy customer" shot. Twisted Evil

Oh... my... God... Shocked

note to self: Never Google the words "Sailor Bubba" again.

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 6:23 pm

I'll post the rest of the response later-- but my loser lad opted for the slut boots and the MJ jacket and glove-- how lame-- I think I need to get him to order some of the "Poop Play" items...

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 6:23 pm

sailor bubba??

HAHAHAAAAAA

(of course now my eyes are bleeding..)

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 6:34 pm

Does your store sell sequined thongs...or, dare I say it...a certain dairy product? Cool

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 8:05 pm

Hugh--

nice one -- like the avatar too!

Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Mar 2005 Posts: 20

Quote:

tuna flavored lube

i love it! Laughing

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 4:20 pm

UPDATE:

Quote:

Hello

Thanks for the email. I will like to list the items
I need from you stock and below are the items needed:

Thigh High Slut Boots
(Vinyl)
Qty: 10piars

Thigh High Slut Boots
(Leather)
Qty: 10piars

Red Leather Jacket with BONUS Sequined Glove
Qty: 5pcs

I will like you to get back to me with the total cost of
these items including the shipping freight via USPS EMS
2-3days express to the below address:

Tycares Inc
5 Olisa Street
Papa/Ajao Mushin
Lagos 23401
Nigeria
2348035124651

I await your reply so I can make the payment immediately.

Thanks

Jordan

Hi there-
Can you provide me with the sizes? All sizes are US

Quote:

Hello,

Thanks for the email, I want you to mix all the sizes
in stock, and get back to me with the total cost.

I await your reply immediately

Thanks

Calvin is kinda pissing me off - he needs to release his inner freak...

Hi Calvin -

What COLORS would you like for the boots?

We have them in RED, BLACK, WHITE, BLUE and GOLD

Also I would like to tell you that we have a special running on cast
iron buttplugs -- 3 for $99 as well as handmade glass dildos which are
a steal at $64 each!!!

We also give our preferred customers free samples of pimp-juice lube.
Would you like me to include some with your delivery? Please put
PIMPED OUT in the subject of your email if you are interested.

I must also ask for a copy of your identification - due to the nature
of our items you must be over 18 - but under 60 (our items have been
know to cause heart failure in some people.)

Sincerly
Mistress Fagina

Calvin puts in a little effort than obviously needs to get back on track so he cut -n- pastes some script...

Quote:

Thanks for the email, I will like to tell you that I
want you to get me Black Colourb of the Boots and also I
want you to forget about any of the special items and get
me the total cost of the items listed in my previous mail.

and nevertheless, i will also like you to assist me on
some items for my customers I mean a Pentium 4 Toshiba
Satellite Notebook (4packs) and i have checked all the
Computer stores I did not get and I also called a
distributing company for Computer but they are yet to
carry the brand and resulting to the same thing they it
will take 5-7 weeks before i can get them and my customers
are in need of the Computer urgently, So i will want you
to please help me check a nearby Computer store and help
me to get the Computer and I promise to give you my
company's card to charge for the whole bill including the
items ordered from your store. I will be waiting for your
prompt confirmation so as to give you my cards to charge
for the bill for the Computer plus the ordered items from
your store too,i will really appreciate it if you will be
of my assistance and i am willing to give you $500
commission for any stress when searching for the Computer
. So i will be expecting your swift response soonest
possible, so I can arrange the credit card informations
immediately.

WTF? DO I LOOK LIKE A F*CKING ERRAND BOY?

I will send you the assorted colors.

I am not sure what you mean by having me check computer stores? I am
not you secretary you know and businesses in the United States do not
go off shopping for other items.

Are you interested in the boots or not?

Also - as I mentioned I require proof of your age.

Quote:

Thanks for the email, I will like to tell you that
there is no problem in ordering the Boots, and about my
Age, I will send you my Identity Card as soon as I forward
u my credit card informations, so, kindly get back to me
with the total cost of the items with the shipping cost so
I can make the payment immediately

Hi Calvin-

You know- it's kind of rude that you do not actually use my name. I find that rather impolite of you.

I must have your ID prior to billing for our records.

Mistress Fagina.

Guest

You could have offered him a couple of those Tired old crap I keep hearing about.

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 4:39 pm

Scamarella - Looks like you've got him hooked. But HA! I'm not certain what half of those items are. Embarassed

and I don't want to know!

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