Monty Python's Mugu Circus

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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 1:05 pm

Mr. Williams,

What if I don't get the documents before tomorrow? I have been having
difficulty in obtaining them, and I fear that this may exempt me from
receiving the inheritance tha I am entitled to. Will it be possible
for you to extend the deadline?

Montgomery Python

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 1:05 pm

I can;t believe this. What? Up to this moment you are yet to send the document money to barrister Godian Uneagbu to fetch the relevant document from the federal high court of justic and government general respectively knowfully well of the danger ahead if by tomorrow 22/3/2005 you failed to submit proof of evident documents to the bank as next of kin to late Engr. Peter the funds depositor, you claims will be nulled and void by the bank board of director.

Please. do not spoil things for me. If you are not capable of handling this transaction, please, do let me know immediatelly to enable me contact another person.

I urgently, await for your response to this message.

Mr. Fred Davison.

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 1:06 pm

This is where EgyptKah's Moneygram security form comes into the equation

Mr. Davison,

Okay. It is very late, but I have found a 24 hours MoneyGram office in
the West End of London. However, they want you to fill in a form. I
have scanned it in, so please return it to me immediately.

Montgomery Python

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 1:07 pm

Dear Montgomery Python,

On the request of the Moneygram, I have passed the fill out form (Security Validation Form) to Godian Uneagbu to fill out and return immediately that which has been completely filled out already.

Find the fill out form. After sending the money, please scan and send the moneygram transfer information to the receipient (Godian Uneagbu) so as to be able to pick up the money and procure the document immediately and forward it to you; to pass over to the Bank for them to approve your payment and release your funds accordingly.

Also, send me the Moneygram transfer information or more importantly give me a call after sending the money.

Please make sure you send the money to Mr. Godian Uneagbu immediately you receive this mail.

Yours faithfully,

Mr. Fred Davison

Here is the form as he filled it in:

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 1:09 pm

Mr. Davison,

Thank you for the form. I have sent hm the money. For his information,
the transaction number is 47623912532.

Montgomery Python

As you may have noticed, the number I gave him had 11 digits, while Moneygram transaction numbers have 8 digits.

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 1:10 pm

Dear Montgomry Python,

I haven't yet receive the scan moneygramm transfer information. If you have actually send the documents money to barrister Godian Uneagbu as claimed, please let me have the transfer informations immediatelly to enable the lawyer fetch the documents unfailingly today.

I await for your urgent reply.

With kind regards,

Mr. Fred Davison.

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:15 pm

Dear Montgomery Python,

Thanks for the informations. I have sent the informations to the lawyer and he was able to make calls to the appropriate offices and he will be procuring the documents first thing tomorrow and the lawyer requested for the full detail of the transaction with the MONEYGRAM to enable him pick up the money by tomorrow morning.

Scan and send the transfer informations to me to make things easy for him by tomorrow morning.. Also as the accounting officer tothe funds depositor late Engr. Peter, I was able to talk to our foreign operations director, Mr. Ibru Williams to excercise patient a little that on or before close of work tomorrow,all the required documents will be made available and he agreed with me .

By tomorrow when the lawyer is through, he will forward the documents to you to pass over to the bank ok.

I urgently await for the moneygram full transfer informations

Warmest regards

Mr. Fred Davison.

But I hadn't emailed him since his last message. This is confusing.

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:15 pm

Mr. Davison,

Thank you for the email. I have scanned and attached the transfer details.

Regards,
Montgomery Python

But I sent him an unopenable file.

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:16 pm

Dear Montgomery Python,

Thanks for your much needed information, but sorry I was unable to view/download the attachment. Kindly re-send it immediately the same way you send the form to me to fill out(Moneygramm Form)

Scan and re-send immediately to enable the Lawyer, procure your documents first thing this morning and forward them to you to pass over to the Bank.

I await your urgent response to this message

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:17 pm

Mr. Davison,

I don't see why you can't open the file. Still, I have attached it again.

Montgomery Python

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:18 pm

where is the attached documents?

Fred Davison

I genuinely did make the mistake of forgetting to attach a file, this time.

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:18 pm

Mr. Davison,

Sorry, I forgot to attach the transfer slip.

Montgomery Python

I sent him the unopenable file again.

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:19 pm

I have just forward the message you sent to me to me and there is absolutely nothing like an attachment there.

What is wrong? Can you please explain better? You know time is not on our side.

Please scan and send the Money Gramm transfer information just like the way you send the Money Gramm fill out form, which I filled and returned back to you.

Please note without the following vital informations

1). SENDER / RECEIVERS NAME AND ADDRESS.

2). CONTROL NUMBERS.

3). TEXT QUESTIONS / ANSWERS YOU WROTE ON THE TRANSFER INFORMATION YOU USED IN SENDING THE MONEY TO GODAIN .

4). TELEPHONE NUMBER OF THE SENDER

I wouldn't be able to collect the fund from the Bank. Therefore, it is of parramount important you scan and send the transfer informations urgently to me to pass over to the lawyer to enable him fetch the required documents immediately.

Urgently await for the scan documents.

With kind regards,

Mr. Davison Fred

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:20 pm

I don't reply, and he gets pissed off at me.

Will for once stopping playing around with this transaction.

This is exactly the message you sent to me, yet the attachment can not be previewed not to even print out.

You know very well how you sent the blank Money Gramm form, why can't you send it the same way you sent the fillout form to me too?.

Remember, you have only today to submit the documents to the Bank

Awaiting the scan documents

Fred Davison

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:21 pm

I give in, and send him the details of the Moneygram transfer.

Mr. Davison,

Okay. I have gathered that you are too fucking stupid to open an email
attachment, so I have put the information here for you.

Sender's name and address: Dr. Montgomery Python, 55 Serpentine Road, London
Control number: 47623912532
Question: Mother's maiden name?
Answer: Janice Louise Anus
Telephone number: +44 208 752 5789

Montgomery Python

If you read another one of my baits, 'The Kidnapped Professor,' then the nae Janice Louise Anus will be familiar to you as the maiden nme of Ivor Smallcock's mother.

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:22 pm

Ibru from the bank tries to hurry me up again.

Attn: Montgomery Python,

Dear sir / madam,

Followed the call made to our office yesterday afternoon by one gentle man called by the name barrister Godian who claims that he is your representative attorney in Nigeria soliciting for extention of time on your behalf to enable you garther all required proof of evidence document in order not disqualify your claim and exempt you from inheritanting your late brother funds.

In view of the above, be informed, we here by grant your request and extend the documents submission date to march 23rd, 2005 which is today as request by your attorney ( BARRISTER GODIAN). And I pray that you succeed in submiting all the required documents today so that we can approve the release of your inheritance funds in to your designated bank account in U K.

Your's Faithfully,

Mr. Ibru Williams

Director, Foreign operations dept,

International Trust Bank Plc

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:23 pm

Mr. Williams,

I am having trouble with this Barrister, I'm afraid, so I don't have
the documents right now. I have sent him the money he needs to obtain
them, so I will have them soon.

Montgomery Python

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:23 pm

The bank warns me again.

Attn: Montgomery Python,

Dear sir / madam

Bewarned. we will not shift from our stand should you fail to submit all the required document before close of office/business today.

Your's faithfuly,

Ibru Williams.

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:23 pm

Mr. Williams,

I will be getting the documents as soon as Mr. Davison gets his money,
which he has gone to collect.

Montgomery Python

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:24 pm

The bank try again to rush me.

Attn: Montgomery Python

Dear sir,

We received yet another call this morning from the same gentle man who called on your behalf the other day all required documents will be made available to us this morning on or before 12 noon our local time.

Be informed, We would not be able to wait any min longer after the stipulated time. We shall be closing earler today because of the in coming easter festival this week end.

I advised who ever is to submit the document to be fast so that you people can meet us up before we close for business today.

Your,s faithfully,

Mr. Ibru Williams.

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:25 pm

Monty has had enough with Fred, and he tells Ibru about him:

Mr. Williams,

I have sent the fee for the documents, but some fuckfaced anus (by the
name of Fred Davison) has been given the responsibility of sending you
the money, and he must have kept it for himself to spend on quilted
toilet paper, cable TV, and MP3 players. I advise you to go around to
pay him a visit, so you can get the money needed to release the
documents.

Montgomery Python

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:26 pm

Is Fred being insulting, or simply Monty by his parent's surnames?

Hello son of Anus & Python.

It has finally confirmed to me your are playing games with me. How dear do you decieved me the son of Anus? You send me in correct money gramm transfer informatios knowing fully well the implication / embarrassement one would face on getting to the bank and there is no money sent to collect.

For your informations, barister Godian is just back from the bank where he is supposed to cash the documents money unfotunately the bank denied him of the money. According to barrister Godian he said the bank officers who attend to him at the bank told him the control number is supposed to 8 numbers and not 11 numbers plaese explained.

In additions,if the money was acctually sent, scan and send to me the money gramm transfer informations or otherwise.

Bye,

Fred Davison

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:27 pm

Talk about an answer to everything...

Fred,

No need to go mad. I am very sorry, but my secretary accidentally
disposed of the Moneygram receipt. I had put it inside a book
(Whitakers Almanack 1993) for safekeeping. However, I was unaware that
my estranged wife had payed the secretary to throw the books off
London Bridge. She confessed to me later what had happened, but I
sacked her instantly. As for the number I gave you, my nephew was at
my office a few days ago. He is a little shit, so he tampered with an
email I was writing while I went to make some coffee. I had just
entered the number, when he did it, and I sent it to you without
thinking. If you remove the last three numbers, you have the correct
transaction number.

Montgomery Python

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:28 pm

Attn: Python.

Dear sir / madam

We don't completely understand.I called the telephone number you forwarded to our office to speak with you, the reciever of the call told me that is no body bearing that name over there. Also your presumed attorney has phone us again to imformed that we should no longer expect the documents from him today in our office as earlier scheduled followed your refusal to provide money for him to secure the documents from rellevant office is that correct.

Can somebody tell what is going on? I tried to get the real picture of what happening from mr fred Davison who was the formal accounting officer to late Engr. Peter the funds depositor he said to me him too don't know what is happening. He said according to the latest informations garthered from you yesterday you were surpposed to submit the documents to the bank before noon yesterday right now he's yet hear from you.

Be warned. You risk been exempted from claiming your late brother's deposited funds should you fail to prrof to us you are the bonafide heirs to late Engr. Peter.

MY REPLY TO YOUR
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mr. Williams,

I have sent the fee for the documents, but some fuckfaced anus (by the
name of Fred Davison) has been given the responsibility of sending you
the money, and he must have kept it for himself to spend on quilted
toilet paper, cable TV, and MP3 players. I advise you to go around to
pay him a visit, so you can get the money needed to release the
documents.

Montgomery Python
---------------------------------------------------------------------
If your claims are indeed correct, please send me the payment slip of the transfer made to mr. Fred Davison to enable us investigate him accordingly.

Take note: Followed this new development, I will close from office lately today to enable me get to the bottom of this matter properly.

Your's faithfully,

Mr. Ibru Williams.

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:31 pm

This contains even stronger language than the rest of this bait, so please look away if you are offended by the 'c' word.

Ibru,

As I was telling that *DELETED* Davison, the receipt of transfer was
destroyed by my secretary. Why can't he just go to th fucking
Moneygram office and get his fucking money if he doesn't already have
it? I am very suspicious that he has stolen my money.

Montgomery Python

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