BMWs, Submarines. Sea Wifes and gerbilling

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Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 4:08 pm

Sir Bhatch Is alive !!!! Very Happy

Quote:

Hi Mike

Sorry I have not replied to you sooner but I have been in hospital.

Things have gone badley wrong

On the way back from the bank that Phycotic butler of mine Sherlock Lambert out of the blue suddenly grabbed the steering wheel.

Next thing I know I was in hospital with a diagnosis of retained water. The nice Mr Colombo of the police told me that my butler crashed us into a river and had stolen all the money and disappeared.

I have also found out that he has been useing my computer. Has he tyred to contact you?

Be sure that I will find him and make sure He is punished to the full extent of the law.

Yours

Sir Ben

Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 7:34 pm

Mike Replys to the butler

Quote:

SO WHAT ACTUALLY DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!!!!!
AM READY TO HELP YOU OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO IN OTHER TO HELP YOU OUT?

Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 8:10 pm

The butler replys with cut and paste job

Quote:

Mike

This is what I need you to do in order for me to feel I can trust you 100%

1) Ring Sir Hatchs house (+447005930609) and confirm If Sir Hatch Is
Dead or alive
If he Is alive I might be able to come to a arrangement with him to
return his moneys

2) Send me a photo of yourself holding a sign saying "I Killed B
Hatch" This way If you doulde cross me I can tell the police it was
you that killed Sir hatch

3) assure me that you can help me when I get to the USA I should be
able to arange the fight Etc.

4) Please sort this quikly as I am runing out of uk money for Cyber Cafes

Thanks for this Mike

Sherlock

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 10:32 am

Mike is releaved that Sir Hatch is alive

Quote:

OH Sir Hatch, I cannot believe this .Well am really sorry for what happened to you but am on a business trip right now at Nigeria.
I have been receiving mails from your so called Butler(lambert). He lied to me, He told me on your way back that you people had an accident and the car swamed into the river, that he managed to escape with the money and that you might be dead by now.
He asked me to help get out of the country with the money and I promised him that.
Well I have a plan:
I will keep on pretending that I want to help him to enable him reveal where he is hidden for now and immediately I get the information from him , I will let you know to enable you hand him over to police.
He promised to give me 20% of the total money if I will help him out and right now his main aid is to fly out of the country.
Though he wants to move out the money first out of the country before boarding a plane to his destination.
WELL I WILL ADVISE YOU NOW NOT TO CONTACT HIM VIA EMAIL COS ONCE HE DISCOVER YOU WERE ALIVE HE WOULD IMMEDIATELY RUN OUT OF THE COUNTRY WITH YOUR MONEY.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO WORK ALONG WITH ME TO ENABLE TRACK HIM DOWN IN COURSE OF HELPING HIM, PLANS FOR NOW IS TO KNOW WHERE HE HAS BEEN HIDING IN UK FOR NOW.
WELL YOU CAN CONTACT ME FOR NOW:+2348043314045 OR +2348038563297
PLS GIVE ME A CALL BEFORE I LEAVE NIGERIA BACK TO USA.
I WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST.
MEANWHILE PLS ACCEPT MY SYMPATHY FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU.
MIKE

Sir Ben employs a world renowned mystic to help capture sherlock Wink

Quote:

Hello Mike

This is amassing the only reason why I contacted you was because we got a physic investigator a lady by the name of Mystic Meg to help with the search to find Mr Lambert.

I was sceptical at first mostly due to her high prices but she said to contact the last person who I had emailed and it was you.

This is really amassing I never had faith in the supernatural before but this chances everything.

I am going to leave the police out of this until we find Sherlock. Because they have done such a bad job so far.

I asked Mystic Meg what to do next and she said to tell you what you need to do Is

First gain Sherlock's Trust.

When he feels he can trust you we will arrange a meeting point and time. You could tell him its to meet a friend of yours to collect the moneys and give him plane tickets.

I will have the police waiting and they will arrest him.

Mike because I want this to be 100% risk free and can be sure I can trust you I am going to offer you 50% of the moneys as a reward on the successfully capture of Mr Lambert. This is the same fee as I am paying Mystic Meg. My payment will be seeing his face behind bars.

Thanks

Ben

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 4:05 pm

I think he is camara Shy

Quote:

Dear Sir,
I will make sure that i get that butler of yours arrested by the police, but i will be needing your maximum cooperation to help you out.He wants to get my trust and assurance that i will not double cross him, in other to ensure this he asked me to snap a picture with a board on my hands written "I KILLED SIR HATCH B", so that if i disappoint him , he will then hand over the police the picture, he actualy thinks that you are dead.
I want to know if you can find someone that Lambert does not know, to stand as me and take picture with the words written " I KILLED SIR HATCH B" , this will make him to have maximum trust in me and when then he will be able to reveal his where about to me and at the same time hand over the money to me.If you can do this as soon as possible , then i can assure you that he will be in our net in no time.

As for your car it is all ready , i hope you still be able to pick it.
Am waiting to hear from you ASAP.]

Mike

He also sends a email to the butler

Quote:

Lambert,
I tried calling Sir Hatch phone several times but no response at all.

I will come to Uk personaly to pick you up , i will make it to uk by 16th of march with your flight ticket so that we can leave right away.

I will be as fast i can in this issue ok?
Mike.

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 4:17 pm

I WANT A PHOTO

Quote:

Mike

This will not be possible as until recently Sherlock Lambert was my
personal butler. His duty's as such involved him greeting all of my
friends when arriving at my house.

Why can you not send him a picture of yourself? I cant see what the
problem would be for you with doing this. As I am fully alive you
could have not possibly Killed me. So you would not be getting
yourself into any kind of trouble.

I suggest that you do as he asks and send him the picture.

We need to get this done as soon as possible In order to catch him
before he spends the money.I might remind you that this is also in
your best interest as 50% of nothing would be nothing.

As for the car I do not want to think about such things until this is resolved.

You have my full backing in this matter.

Sir Ben

Quote:

OK Mike

This is very good news

Send me the photo I asked for. This will offer me protection and let
me see what you look like so I can recognise you when we meet.

You need to book a flight to London as I am still in there at present.

As soon as I have your photo I will give you the instructions for are meeting.

Yours

Sherlock

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 8:15 am

One Reply to Sir BHatch

Quote:

Dear Sir,
Since you very alive,i willtry and do as you say in to help in this matter.
You will be getting my replys as soon as possible.
Mike

And a Reply to the butler with some more photos he has downloaded from the web

Quote:

Here is our plann Lambert,
I will be in UK at the right time, i have made arrangement for flight to London because through there we will be leaving the country and will be coming along with the flight tickets.

Then i need to know your location so that i can come and pick you up from where you are. Is there any phone that i can use to reach you when i arrive in uk? if there is,do give me.

Remember that we can not make it out of the country with the money so you have to transfer it via western union, since am still in Nigeria you can post the money here so that i can quickly redivert it into my account where it will be safe untill we arrive in USA.Please Recall that the money still have to be divided into 8 parts so that it can easily be cashed, just make sure that each part is less than $10,000 cos if it is upto that it will take a long time to be cashed andyou know we dont have the time. You can my name,Mike Basil in transfering the money via western union.

I have attached my personal pictures in this mail so that you can easily recogniose me when we meet in Uk.

Sincerely speaking we are running out of time,it very necessary that you do the money posting today some i can get it into my account and head to UK immediately with the flight tickets.
I swear by every thing i have got on this earth that i will not betray you, i have already spent my own money in other to see we come to the end of this .
Please lets co-operate together and slove this thing out right away.

I wait to hear from you.
your friend ,
mike.

Mike did you think the butler would fall for that?

Quote:

Mike

I know when some some is trying to bullshit me. And bullshit me you
are trying to do. These are not photos of you! They are just some
pictures you have downloaded from the web!

You have one last try these are the instructions.

Go to a place that takes photos (even a passport photo machine will
do). Get a pen and paper and write on it "I Killed B Hatch" (you can
write can you mike?) Get you photo taken holding said sign!

These are not hard instructions why cant you follow them? are you stupid my boy?

The Nice Mr Fagin I keep bumping into on the street says he will look
after my money for me and he even knows a police man to bribe to get
me out of trouble.

You have one last chance as if you fuck me about and waist my time any
more I am going to give the money to Mr Fagin to invest for me.

Yours

Sherlock Lambert

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 2:09 pm

This Guy is so full of crap

Quote:

Hello Lambert,
well it am understatement to call my pictures someone else picture, I thought we are in this game together but you sound strange!
I Have reveal my identity including Mr Benson identity all to satisfy you and you keeping on accusing me of one issue to another.
Friend think about this, I have not seen you, I asked you for your picture and you didnot give it out and all you asked me I have been doing , now how am I sure you will not betray me with the picture your requesting from me to hold written sth on my hands: friend I have to think of it cos i didnot kill any body for GOD SAKE!
if to write something else that will be different!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mike

Quote:

Mike

Obviously you have so much money $14020 Is not of interest to you! I
have waisted to much of my time with your child's games.

I can understand your reluctance to send a picture of your self to me
as is is a very serious crime that has been committed.

But what you fail to realise that is me taking all the risk here. Even
if you send me the photo and I get caught by the police you cannot be
charged as you outside the country.

I will not continue to do any business with you unless you send me the
picture I have asked you for.

If you are unable to do this I will have to take my business to Mr
Fagin. He seems like a very nice man and is African as well which is a
good thing as I have always found African people to be among the most
trustworthy.

Have a nice life

Sherlock

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 2:19 pm

This Guy realy duz not want to send me a pic. Any one got any ideas how I can get one? Surprised

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 5:10 pm

A Few emails between Sir Bhatch and Mike

Quote:

Hello Mike

I'm just checking to see if you have heard any thing from my butler yet?

Have you managed Get a meeting arranged or findout were he is staying?

I am keen to get this matter resolved ASAP. Are you sure It would not
be easyer for me to try Emailing Sherlock?

Yours

Sir Ben

Quote:

Sir, you have to understand that this man intentionaly stole your money away and once he knows that you alive he will feel that the cops are lookig for him, that you have taken the case to them and that will make him run as fast as he can.

Am trying to get words out of his mouth , once i get his location i will inform you right away.
Give me a little more time.
Mr Mike.

Mystic Meg reads Mike His stars

Quote:

Ok I will give it a few more days. I have checked with mystic Meg and she says this is ok.

She also asked me to give you the following Reading

"This could be a major day for all kinds of home plans as Saturn, planet of serious intentions, gets busy. Love is just one reason you could be looking at property. Working on a project you believe in can get brilliant results. An M place name is lucky for you."

Yours

Ben

Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:20 pm

And some with The butler

Quote:

You see Lambert,
Am very interested in my percentage but you are asking alot,you are making this uneasy for both of us, remember that i still have to enter the country to pick you up and what if someone happens to see that kind of picture you are asking me to take,that will be a big trouble to my carrier.What about we signing a document with the attorney that will seal this issue up, in that case no one can betray each other.

You have to trust me, cos i have no intention of double crossing you , i just want my own share of the money and also to help you out.Am still in africa and i know how african do things,see to show you that am being honest i can easilly pick up someone from anywhere to take the snap for me since you claiming that you have not seen me yet, but thats not how i do things.If i pick someone to take the picture for you will not notice the difference so know that the picture of a thing is not the best way to do this thing ok?

so try and reason this thing out, remember that the case of Sir Hatch is not yet sealed up , one day the case might be revealed , so need to leave the country now.

lets make this thing easy for both of us ok?

Mr Mike

Quote:

Hi Mike

That would be fine If you can easily pick up someone from anywhere to
take the snap for you. How would I know?

All I want is a Photo of someone holding the sign! Then if i was to
get captured I would have some evidence that it is not me!

You are like a little child always moaning.

I'm going to speak to Mr Fagin this evening so if you want to deal
with me then contact me before then.

No photo no Deal

Sherlock

Quote:

Ok Lambert ,
this sounds ok to me , just give a little time so that i can send you the picture ok?, i think we have a deal with this.
Mike

Ive given up hope of ever getting a picture so dont hold your breath

Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:22 pm

He is REALY camara shy and his grasp of english is getting very bad Sad

Quote:

Good morning Sir Hatch,
How are you today , I hope fine and also in good health.
Well I want to make a request; I can have your so bugler picture cos someone mailed me claiming that he knows the hotel he is lodging in manchester , even the guy promise to reveal his hide out to me.
He even told me that your bugler hosted series of party with flirter and naughty guys in the town.
please send the picture fast to enable me know if he is the one before i enter into any form of negotiations with the guy!
Regards
Mike

Have attached 10mb of garbled rubbish to this email Twisted Evil

Quote:

Hello Mike

I very much doubt it was my butler as he is not one for party's.

I have attached his photo. It took me ages to get the scanner to work but I think everything is OK.

I also phoned Mystic Meg who tells me that the stars say Mr Lambert is in London.

But Its worth a try anyway

Yours

Sir Ben

Guest

Good job! You managed to kep him on the hook forever. Love the poon tang "auto part"!!

Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:59 pm

@mavenpaul

http://www.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=35741

This parallel bait by DJ Tricky of Mike is also worth reading Very Happy

Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 8:25 am

Quote:

Goodday Sir Hatch,
I absolutely I quite agreed with you on how heartless he is .
Though I have been trying to reopen the picture you sent to me cos it wasn't downloadable.
Please reattach /rescan the picture and send it once more cos I really wanna see the idiot.
All the Best
Mr Mike, Esq

I send mike a picture of Sean Connery this time. And after clicking send realise that harrison ford might have been more fitting
Wink

Quote:

Hello Mike

It works fine on my computer.You must have a problem with yours.
I have rescaned it and am sending it again.

Have you any news from sherlock Lambert?

Please can you forward me all the emails He sends you so I can see
what is going on?

Thanks

Sir Ben

Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 3:59 pm

I recieved two emails today to the butler 1st one from the FBI attached to the email was the same photo Sir ben had posted mike earlyer Shocked

Quote:

IFCC US CHAPTER,
ATTENTION PLS:

MR SHERLOCK LAMBERT, WE WANT TO HEAR FROM AS REGARDS TO YOUR FRAUD WITH
SIR BENJAMIN COS YOUR CASE FILE HAD BEEN H OPENED UP,WE DEEM IT
NECESSARY TO CONTACT YOU BEFORE WE TAKE ABSOLUTE ACTION.
PLS EXPLAIN YOUR COLLABORATION WITH MR MIKE IN DUPING SIR BENJAMIN HIS
$70100USD
MEANWHILE YOU HAVEBEEN DECLARED WANTED FOR NOW!WE HAVE POSTED YOUR
PICTURE TO CNN AND ITCS COMMUNICATIONS FOR PUBLICATIONS.
ONLY HONESTY CAN FREE YOU, WE ARE FRIENDS.

IFCC US CHAPTER
DEPARTMENT OF FBI
UNITED STATES OF AMERICAN

and one from Mike sounding a bit Camp

Quote:

Hello sherlock,
I am fainting and dieing , you are the only one that can help me out cos am dieing in silent!
In CNN news today , You were declared wanted by USA department of Federal Bureau of Investigation(FBI)
I have seen your picture and you are just an old man, Please I heard my name also in the news ,they claimed I am your accomplice..that I assisted you in CARTING AWAY SIR BENJAMIN WEALTHS.
Please friend tell me what to do now cos I don't want to be into this mess am confused and finished.
FOR GOD SAKE WHAT DO I DO BEFORE IT WILL BE TOO LATE.
I DO NOT WANT TO THEM TO DECLARE ME WANTED COS IF THAT HAPPENS AM DOOMED FOREVER, FRIEND WHAT HELL IS GOING ON, DID MR FAGIN REPORTED YOU OR DO SIR BENJAMIN AFTER YOU.

TALK TO ME NOW COS I WANT TO RUN OUT OF STATE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
I WILL BE ARRIVING MANCHESTER IN NO TIME.
EXCUSE ME LET ME BOOK MY FLIGHT TICKET
BYE NOW
MIKE

Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 5:54 pm

Quote:

Golly gosh Mike

However did this happen?

I have no Idea I don't think it was Mr Fagin. I trust him as he has
let me take a photo of him with some of the money as security. He
would not report me as the photo I have of him implicates him to much.

The only thing That I can think of is that Sir hatch Is still alive
and looking for me this seems very likely as I had a email to day from
the FBI and it said about Fraud not murder. The only thing i cant
understand is why they have your name? Sir hatch could not know that
you are involved?

I don't think I will be able to come to the USA if the FBI are looking
for me. Perhaps I should Email Sir Hatch and see if we can come to
some kind of agreement to return the money?

I will also Try emailing the FBI to tell them you have nothing to do with this.

Yours

Sherlock Lambert

Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 5:58 pm

Two emails from Mike to The Butler

Quote:

Dear Sherlock,
See am afraid friend have you contacted the FBI , have you let them know I have nothing to do with the money.
Friend in the news today, I found out that Sir Benjamin is "ALIVE" !!!!!!
Please you have to contact mr benjamin before it is too late cos FBI is every where in quest of you. Forget Mr fagin proposition to you, I mailed sir benjamin and he replied showing he is alive Friend......He promised to forgive you cos he is alive.....please return his MONEY before FBI will get hold of us, I do not want to involve in murder or fraud case, PLEASE FRIEND SPARE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am dieing cos i do not wanna go JAIL nor PRISON
Mr Mike

Quote:

Dear Lambert,
You see since the FBI has your pictures, i think that the only person that must have given it to them is Sir Hatch, or did any person have your pictures?
To me my greatest suprise i just received an email from Sir Hatch , HE IS STILL ALIVE!, he said that he did not only informed the FBI , but also the UK police department is involved in this case . I dont think that it is any safe for you to get near the airport or any border that leads out of the country because they have your pictures and have the idea that you might want to leave the country.

The best way out of this is to return the money back to Sir Hatch, since he is still alive, so nobody is accused of murder here.He also told me that he will be glad to have you back with his money and promised not to let the police get their hands on you once you returns his money.So please you have to contact him quickly through email on how to return the his money back.
ONCE YOU DO THIS EVERY BODY WILL BE OUT OF TROUBLE.
Mr Mike

And one from the "UK POCLICE DEPARTMENT"

Quote:

GOODDAY Mr Lambert Sherlock,
We have received a seriouse report from SIR BENJAMIN HACTH OBE occusing
you of stealing away his money(US$70,100) after an accident that take
took place as you where returning from the bank which you where
involved.
Sir Hatch has handed over to us all your personal records including
your family informations,so to get you arrested will not be any
difficult to us, i believe you wouldnt want that. Sir Hatch has also
given instructions that the only way to resolve this case is for you to
return his money to back him.
We will give you a chance to negotiate with Sir Hatch on how to return
his money back to him, after 48 hours of sending you this email we will
contact Sir Hatch to know if you have returned his money and once we get
a negative reply from him then you will be delared wanted accross the
world.So gentleman we will like to give you a chance to make good us of
your life and live peacefuly.
Also NOTE very well that the FBI is also involved in this case, but we
promise you your safety once you return the money back to Sir Hacth
before 48 hours.
We have attached a copy of your image to this email.
WE DO NOT RECEIVE ANY REPLY AT THIS ACCOUNT,SEND ALL YOUR REPLY TO YOUR
REPORTER.

UK POCLICE DEPARTMENT

Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 6:02 pm

And a Email to sir Hatch

Quote:

Sir,
Please let me know immedaitley Lambert contacts you about retruning your money to you.He will be writting you very soon.I also told him that uk police department is involved in this case, this to makehimsoccumb to our request.

Mike

Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 6:59 pm

Looks Like sherlock is not happy He slaps Sir Hatch Shocked

Quote:

Hello Mike

I don't think you Idea has gone according to Plan!

I go this from Sherlock today and I don't think He is happy. He also
sent me a picture of the money. He is still using my bag!

What shall I do? I'm a bit scared.

Yours

Sir Ben

- Hide quoted text -

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Sherlock Lambert <[email protected]>
Date: Sat, 19 Mar 2005 18:44:59 +0000
Subject: Im going to get you
To: ben hatch <[email protected]>

Sir Hatch

What the fuck do you think you are doing getting the police on me? my Boy!

I will Kill you properly next time.

I'm so very clever I am a criminal mastermind you will never catch Me!

I have attached a picture of the money as this is the last you will
ever see of it!

Up yours you Wally Head!!!!

Remember when you are least expecting it I will be there. Then you
will be Deaded!!

I will Slap you to death with a Smoked Kipper or a haddock

and they will never find me!! So long Sucker The moneys Mine

HA HA HA

Your Ex Butler Sherlock

I also attach a photo of a bag of Toy town money

And one to mike from the buttler

Quote:

Hi Mike

I have emailed Sir Hatch But I dont think he is intrested!

I am going to go into buissines with Mr Fagin. He has let me take a
photo of him with some of the money. I trust him

Have a nice Life

Sherlock

Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 3:02 pm

Its been a day or so but Sir Ben has recived a email from Mike Wink

Quote:

Hello Friend,
I have discussed with my FBI friend, He promised to help!
He requested about three different pictures of your butler, he gat a plan.
please send three different pictures of your butler, later you will know what the pics is for.
just do as he ordered us.
Regards
Mr Mike,Esq

Sir Hatch Replys

Quote:

Mike

These are all the photos that I have of sherlock Lambert.

The last photo is the most recent this is the only one I have of us
together. This Is from hunting expedition he accompanied me on In the
outbacks of Brighton. Wink

Mike I have to be honest I am loosing faith in you tracking him down.
He seems to be to clever for us.I feel it might be essayer for us to
call in the police and let them deal with him?

Yours

Sir Benjamin Hatch

I knew I could get harison ford in there someware Very Happy

The other two are just standard sean connery photos
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y31/benjaminhatch/sherlock2.bmp
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y31/benjaminhatch/sherlock1.jpg

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:32 am

I think mike is giving up

Quote:

Well the Idea sound good, he won't enter US again in his life!
Track him down with UK cops.
Go ahead cos my FBI friend will give you every support needed in this case.
Please keep me inform on any recent development regards the issue.
All the Best
Mr Mike,Esq.

The buttler has been Captured Laughing

Quote:

Hi Mike

Good news!

The Police have now captured Sherlock Lambert.
and have also retured most of the money.

This was all thanks to Mystic Meg and her amasing pyycick powers. She
told me that sherlock was in london so I told the police this
information and they managed to capture him.

Thanks for you attempts to help anyway.

Yours

Sir Benjamin Hatch

Mike is very happy mabe now he can sell his car

Quote:

That is a great news, i have been expecting to hear this from you.
I hope he did not spend the money very much, what is the ploice goingmto do with him, he deserves to go gail for that, because that is an attempted murder he did commit.Any way am to happy that this happened.
I hope we can go ahead with the car, i mean atleast the X5 alone , you know the car has been completely altered for you,it be quiet difficult for us to find another person that will buy a right hand drive in USA.
Am very sorry for all difficulties this transaction has brought to you but it has helped you in way.
I hope to hear from you soonest.
Mr Mike

But do I still want it?

Quote:

Hi Mike

Yes I was very pleased. He is due in court on the 12th of next mounth
charged with attemptied murder, money stealing and curb crawling.

As for the car I am not so sure now as since i am not going to be
spending the moneys on a car for mr lambert I will be looking to by a
Jaguar. as these have a much higher poontang factor (some models as
high as 3.5) now that I have the extra moneys to spend.

Also I am going to be quite bussy in the next few days looking for a
new buttler.

Its a pitty that you are in the USA as I could do with someone like
you for a buttler.

Cheers

Sir Ben

I thought you said it would be difficult to sell? Looks like mike has also setup a new email address for me Laughing

Quote:

Dear Sir,
Am happy inform you that we just sold off the car X5 that you intended to buy , a customer just came and liked the car the way it is and made his payment at the moment.
I did inform a dependable dealer based in Uk that you are looking for a Jaguar with Poon Tang factor as high as 3.5 he told me that he had one with 3.8 poon tang factor , so i did gave him your email address to contact you, he deals only Jaguar cars.
You ca contact them with this email :gibsonjaguars@****ay.com
Thank you for all your efforts.
Mr Mike

I also recive a email from mikes new account looks like its back to the start again Rolling Eyes

Quote:

Dear Sir,
I just got infomed by my counter part in usa that you will be needing a jaguar with high poon tang factor, well we many of them with very impressive poon tang factor(ptf).
WE HAVE:

2004 Jaguar XJR
Poon tang factor:3.8
price:25,000 pounds
colour:british racing green.
2005 Jaguar XK8 Coupe
poon tang factor:3.6
price:24,500 pounds
colour:silver

WE STILL HAVE OTHER MODELS OF JAGUARS , SO TELL US YOUR CHOICE SO THAT WE CAN GET STARTED.

WE HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST.
WE ARE BASED IN UNITED KINGDOM AND OUR CAR IS ALSO THERE.
Mr Gibson,

Quote:

This sounds great. please can you send me some photos of the cars.

can you also tell me were you are based? if you are close to London I
could come and see the cars for myself.

Do you have a phone number I could ring you on?

Cheers

Ben

Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 3:29 pm

Quite a few more emails to add and suprise suprise hes now are near london Shocked

Quote:

Dear Sir,
I have attached the pictures of the 2004 Jaguar XJR for your perusal, with poon tang factor of 3.8.
Other features of the car are listed viz:
Power Door Locks; Power Windows; Radial Tires; Alloy Wheels; Gauge Cluster; Clock; Trip Odometer; Tachometer; Air Conditioning; Tilt Steering Wheel; Cruise Control; Interval Wipers; Rear Defroster; Remote Trunk Lid; Remote Fuel Door; Vanity Mirror; Dual Sport Mirrors; Front Bucket Seats; Reclining Seats; Power Sunroof; Body Side Moldings; Center Arm Rest; Climate Control; Courtesy Lights; Leather Upholstery; Map Lights; Heated Seat; AM-FM Stereo Radio; Drink Holder; Dual Power Seats; and lots more!
We are located in south Abardeen which not that close to London, but not to worry we will deliver the car to your door step .
You can call our hot line:447040113107 or fax us.

We also need you phone number and address .

We hope to hear from you soon.

Mr Gibson

and another email 3hrs later

Quote:

Sir, i hope you got the pictures and details of the car that i sent you, we will like to know when you will be needing the car.

Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 3:33 pm

I supose I had best reply and send him back to google again Very Happy

Quote:

Hi Mr Gibson

I was looking to get something a bit sportier like a XKR do you have
any of these?

Thanks

Sir Ben

He relpys I do like it how he has abriviated poon tang factor Very Happy

Im not going to bother adding the pictures of the cars if you are that intrested goto google and find them your self Very Happy

Quote:

Sir,

The firm price of the Jaguar XKR is 27,000 pounds, the feaures viz:

All have poon tang factor(ptf) of 3.8

Fast as you go strip,Driver Air Bag; Anti-Lock Brakes; Air Conditioning; Alloy Wheels; Cruise Control; Passenger Air Bag; Rear Window Defroster; Power Seats; Leather Seats; Power Door Locks; Power Mirrors; Power Windows; Power Steering; Tinted Glass; Tilt Whee.

We car also fix in extra features that you mar desire,the cars all in right hand hand drive.

We hope these cars suites what you are looking out for,if you have any question please let us know.

Please get reply ASAP.

Mr Gibson

And another email with lots of pictures attached

Quote:

SIR, HERE IS THE PICTURE OF ONE OF OUR XKR AVAILBLE, THE POON TANG FACTOR IS 3.8 AND THE PRICE OF THE CAR IS 27,000 POUNDS.
IF YOU CHOSE THIS CAR PLEASE LET US KNOW.
Mr Gibson

And another day another Email

Quote:

Sir,
I hope that you are ok with the XKR pictures that i sent to you. We will like to know which of the cars you will to buy .
Please get back at us soonest.
Thank you.
Mr Gibson

Poor chap I supose I should relpy Wink

Quote:

Hi Mr Gibson

Im sorry I have not receved them yet. Please can you send them all again

Cheers

Sir Ben

He relpys with all the pictures attached

Quote:

Sir,
I hope you did got the pictures this time.
Mr Gibson

Ok at this point im geting tyred of cars so I decived to put him on hold well I concentrate on some other baits Wink

Quote:

Yes I have recived them. Please give me some time to think about it
and i will get back to you

ben

Quote:

Ok Sir, we will be waiting to hear from you soon.
Mr Gibson

Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 3:57 pm

No more cars I think submaries might be fun Very Happy

Quote:

Hi Mr Gibson

I am emailing to say that I no longer want the car. Since my dealings
with my former butler and my close shave with death. I have lost
interest in cars so am going to stick with the Bentley I currently
drive.

My family come from a sea fairing heritage and so I have decided to
sell my boat and one of my London town houses and purchase a
submarine.

This plan has got me very excited as after purchasing it i will be
getting it customised to Luxury standards and will be using it as a
mobile holiday home.

I have started looking for the right vessel as of now and will also be
looking for crew.

Yours

Sir Benjamin Hatch

Nothing for a few days so I email Mike at his old address

Quote:

Hi Mike

I am having trouble locating a submarine to purchase. I know you are a
very resourceful man and wonder if you know of anyware I could
purchase one?

Thanks

Sir Ben

Mike Replys (its good to have contacts like mike I could get you anything)

Quote:

Dear Sir,
Concerning your request for a submarine, i have made some search and was able to contact one of my old bussiness partner who deals with all kinds of sea vessels including submarine, he said he will be able to offer a good submarine to you at an affordabe price.
He is located in Greece and has been doing this business for over two decades.
I did gave hime your email address, so will contact you in no time.
So wait for his mail soonest.
Cheers
Mr Mike

And I also get a email from mike AKA Mr Grazitto Magritto I did like the fact that he went for a yahoo Greece account to add that air of authenticity Very Happy

Quote:

Hi

I am looking for a sub in the $500,000 region I was thinking for that
money I could maybe get something ex-military.

Thanks

Sir Ben

Quote:

Dear Sir Benjamin,
We have a submarine of that price range and we will send the you the pictures as soon as possible,but Sir we will like to call you on phone so please give us your phone number.
We be glad selling our exclusive submarine to you, please tell us what you need the submarine for, is it for bussiness or pleasure?
We look forward to hear from you.
PC: please do not forget to include your phone number in your next mail.

Quote:

MR. Gazzito

I am purchacing it for pleasure after purchasing it i will be getting
it customised to Luxury standards and will be using it as a mobile
holiday home.

My phone number is +44700593060*

Thanks

Sir Ben

He sends me some pictures of a few diffrent subs

Quote:

Dear Sir,
Here are the pictures of one of our submarines, the vessel is in a perfect condition.
If you like the submarine please get back at us for more details. If you need more pictures of the vessel we will send it to you .
We look forward to hear from you.
Mr Gazzitto

Time for some more questions Wink

(thaks to Andy Kreist and Zed for there questions Very Happy

)

Quote:

Hi Gazette

This looks like just what I'm looking for.

Please can you advise me of the following facts

1) please can you tell me the top speed in Mph

2) Has it got the new "Screen Door" equipment?

3) "Has it also got a "i need ur help" Viewing platform?

4) Please can you advise me what fuel it uses (eg Four star)

5) Please can you also advise me of what drive system It uses?

6)How can we arrange delivery of the sub?

7) how much duz the sub weigh? (eg 2.7 tons?)

We get some answers Very Happy

Quote:

Dear Sir,
We are glad that you like the subamrine is the only kind of its type available now.
1)The speed of submarine is 55 knots (100 km/h)

2)The screen door equiptment is quite new and has no dent on it.

3)Of course there is a viewing palform at the passengers unit and also at the crews unit, there are about 75 round-shaped windows which allow the people inside the submarine to view the sea bed and the things it.

4)The submarine is designed to use wide range of fuel , but you can use four star if you like which is the prescribed one from the manufacturer.

5)the submarine operates with a power plant which has an External combustion gas-piston .

6)Once you make atleast %40 upfront deposite of the total cost of the submarine we will hire crews from the Greece marine department to deliver the marine to your country, through them we can also arrange all the necessary document that will allow the vessel to enter your country.

7)The veseels weighs 3496 lbs (1587 kg).
Thank you for your questions and if you have more questions please let us know .
Once you have made your deposite for the submarine, it will be reserved for you because we have another buyer from Japan requesting for thesame vessel,but you the first to show interest in it .
Please get back at us soonest.
Regards.
Mr Gazzitto

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