Angelique and Alex go beamer shopping II Return of the Mike!

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Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2005 6:28 pm

I think you get a gold star for getting this tool off his script! Hysterical!

Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2005 9:52 pm

LemonyFresh wrote:

Funny bait Smile

How did you come across this guy?

By being part of EK's shuttle. My name was on a list of people looking to buy a BMW and Mr Mike capitalised pretty quickly on it, much to my entertainment Very Happy

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grapefruit strain

Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2005 9:55 pm

Mike replies to Alex about how good friends they are. Good friends don't seduce each others wives though matey...

Quote:

Thanks Alex, your my real boss and i like for who you
are, i like your way of life its cool.Nobody can take
what belongs to you when am there, i gat your back
anytime.
You what i never like those fargots men, they piss me
off.
Your ride remains here waiting for you.
i will appreciate whatever i will get from you .
you the knid of man i will like to have as a pal.
thank you very much.
i remain Mike that i am.
Just try and play it safe ok?

Yeah, gotta watch out for those fargots eh Mike Twisted Evil

Also gotta watch out for horny and easily distractable mugus too Wink

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Cold Case Forum

Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2005 10:30 pm

Me thinks Mike gets a hard crank-shaft everytime he gets a message from Angelique....

Quote:

Well dear Angelique,
i dont do much when am alone , i just think about my
life, how i can get someone who i can cherish forever,
someone that i can love just they way she is .
i do alot of reading cos i want to further my
education.
i dont have a girlfreinnd yet so i wouldnt say that i
have sex when am alone or in during my free time.
i will send you my pics later ok? i hope you will like
them.
since you want to know, am not american , am from
africa and might go back soon.
please i didnt see the pics you said you sent , so try
and attach it again , i know you gonna be da bomb in
the pic.
am glad you like the rose.
mike.........with so much feeling

Mike with so much feeling? What, I'm dealing with a mugu rapper here? Awesome! Maybe I can get him to spit some rhymes about my red X5 Twisted Evil

Before I have a chance to say 'check out my radiator baby!' Mike sends off another sneaky note behind Alex's back.

Quote:

Dear i have now seen the pic you sent, i must confess
, you are naturaly endowed with beauty.
your body is just great, I dont know what Alex is
still looking for, cos you have got it all.
I admire very much.
i will send you my pics when they ready?
now take care.

I wonder if they'll have some BMW's in the background? Probably not. Lets sow those seeds of love shall we and work in a few more car references while we're at it Very Happy

Quote:

Oh Mike, you are such a sweetie - Alex never gives me compliments like
that, he's too busy cranking his rachet. Sometimes when he's greasing
up his bearings I try to tease him by walking past naked....but he
never notices Sad

All this time I thought it must be me, but now I
realise that he's checking someone elses coolant.
I had a really bad night sleep last night, I kept thinking about how
much of a bastard he is....and how much of a sweetie you are Mike,
even though I haven't seen your picture yet I know you are a beautiful
man from the beautiful words you write.
You say that you don't have a girlfriend at the moment, I am suprised
at that because you are very smart, charming and helpful, a really
nice guy - what girl wouldn't want to have such a sweet man like you
in their life?
I wish I met you two years ago instead of Alex....
-Angelique

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Dodge Wiki

Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 12:24 am

Bad news Tricky Mike says mine is better than yours Very Happy

Quote:

In case if you dont know, the 2004 bmw x5 has a poon tang factor of 2.0, that is why it is a unique car from other bmw products, so it sure beats that of Mr D J Mouse, let him safe the bragging because when your x5 arrives, you will be the one to bragg of higher poon tang factor

Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 12:51 am

Yeah but that's not counting the low down torque of the gerbalhump turbo, sure it's a small loss in poon tang factor, but when the gerbalhump hits boost, whhhhoooooosh, off we go Very Happy

Awesome work though, now he'll definately be convinced that every car has a poon tang factor somewhere Laughing

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Chilean Forum

Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 12:52 am

P.s he's only saying that so you'll buy it Wink

Remember red one's go faster lol
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1960 recession

Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 10:37 am

@Tricky I dont know it will be intresting 5 inch wheels make for great exceleration but a low top end Confused

and they dont call it racing green for nothing Very Happy

.

I can just see mike listing the poon tang factor as part of the spec to the next guy he trys to sell a car to Very Happy

And I know what used car salesmen are like. The would tell you any thing to sell you the car. Im poping down to my local BMW dealer later to verify that the 2004 X5 realy had this high a poon tang factor Very Happy

Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 10:54 pm

Mike's been very quiet of late....has someone shut him down or is he stuck with poon tang factor increase orders? If this doesn't get him replying he must be dead. Or gay. Maybe both Twisted Evil

Quote:

Hi Mike,

I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to tell you about the dream I had
last night....even though I haven't seen a picture of you yet, you
were in it....i pictured what you looked like, I imagined you with big
strong arms and a really sweet smile....we were walking down on the
beach, we were the only people on the beach, walking hand in
hand....just enjoying the sunshine....you asked me if I would be more
comfortable if I took my bikini off...I was really excited by this and
I reached up to untie the knot when my alarm went off and woke me up
Sad

It was a really hot and exciting dream though, I can't wait to dream
of you again...

I haven't heard from you in a while, is everything okay?
-Angelique

_________________
Mercedes Benz 350

Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 8:32 pm

Damn, Mike remembers that his original intentions were to scam money...oh well, I can play along with that for now... Wink

Quote:

Hi my Dear,
Sorry for not getting back at you since, about two days ago i received a call from my brother in Nigeria in africa telling me that my mother has been very sick , infact that she need an urgent opperation on her heart ,the doctor in charge has demanded that we deposite about $5,000 before they can start the operation and i have able to raise just $2,000 .This has been my puzzle since when i last wrote to you, if the operation is not done in the 4 days , she might not survive.So am seeking for help right now.
Nice dream you had, i think if that was reality , i would has done the same.
Please try and get back to me soon ,
Mike

She probably tried to increase the poon tang factor of her own BMW without the aid of a pimp-wrench, a common but almost deadly problem. Still Angelique hungers after Mike and if saving the old bag's life means that she can get a slice of Mike pie, she's all for it.

Quote:

Oh Mike, I'm so sorry to hear that! I can help you - Alex has all this money that he's been trying to hide from me, but I know where he hides it. So I can send you $3000 and save your mother if that's okay.
Please I'd like to help, please let me help you.

My heart is with your mother my love
-Angelique

It's just a shame that Alex is going to return home early to learn what's been going on behind his back... Twisted Evil

Mike follows up with an unsuprising set of instructions:

Quote:

Oh my Dear you must be an angel, how can i ever repay for all this.
I called the doctor about 30 minute ago, he said that it will be necessary that the deposite is made before this week end. I have already sent the $2,000 to my brother in Nigeria, so please i will be very happy than ever if you can send the $ 3,000 to my brother immedaitly, please you have to help me because this is very urgent,my mothers life lies on your hands now .
Please use WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER TO SEND THE MONEY.
MONEY DESTINATION IS NIGERIA
RECEIPIENT NAME IS FRANCIS NNAEMEKA EBULUE( please copy this)
After vyou send the money please quickly send all the information you used in making the transfer like the text question.
I think after this i will like to pay you visit , so that we can walk dowm the beach all alone, it will be a special moment for both of us, your picture is always on my mind .
Can you give me your phone number.

PLEASE DO I HAVE SAID TO HELP SAVE MY MOTHERS LIFE.
Thank you very much for your help.
Mike

Are you going to stand for this Alex? Oh hell no! Slap the taste out of this mugu's mouth! Twisted Evil

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Vaccinations Forum

Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 9:07 pm

Well it was fun while it lasted, but after this slapping I don't think Mike is ever coming back....

Quote:

G'day Backstabber,

It's Alex here. You remember me don't you? I'm the guy who's wife
you've been trying to bang. Yeah, now you remember, that sucker you
were trying to sell a BMW to. Well I'm back from hookers and gin in
Vegas a little early and guess what? Instead of finding my wife in the
'welcome home position' for some post vegas loving, I find her butt
naked at the computer, firgging herself silly with a club steering
lock over some emails that you sent. Let me tell you dickhead, there's
nothing worse than walking into the house with a full tank ready to
play love petrol pump when you find the love of your life being wooed
but some smooth talking shitmerchant. Yeah yeah you can talk some shit
pal, but I've read the emails. You're trying to rip me off and you're
trying to give my wife one on the process. Hell you'd probably try to
give me one in the process too if I were here and Angelique went to
Vegas - I should have known you were a navy blue cafe late sipping
shirt lifter who grabs ass and smokes pole.
I almost trusted you, almost treated you like a brother. But no
brother of mine tries to bust a nut on my wife (well aside from that
Christmas party but that was years ago and I forgive him now).
I read that you need $3000 to save your mother? If I send you 3 grand
will you save her for me? I've got a six pack and a pop up kama sutra
ready to go - I'll make that bitch moan louder than a drugged out
operea singer with foot cancer announcing trains at Flinders Street
Station on a busy friday. I don't know what that ass troll of your
mother looks like, but after giving birth to an abortion like you I'm
sure it's been a while since she's tried a bit of dip stick, so I'd be
more happy to knock her up and get her to show you after 9 months what
a real man looks like.
Oh and buy the way, there's a red X5 parked in my driveway now, but
not the one you were trying to sell me. I cut an awesome deal in Vegas
and saved thousands compared to your price. He even threw in a hooker!
All you were going to throw in was probably a nasty disease in
Angelique's fun bits. So I guess you can jump into that unsold car,
start it up and park it right up your ass. You might like that you god
damn Navy Uniform ass grabber.
So farewell Mike, I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your hunt
for rabid man ass, I hope the bitch dies a very long and drawn out
painful death and I've enclosed a picture of me humping my wife so you
know what you've missed out on.
See ya later bitch
-Alex

And that's it - no trophies, but one of my favourite baits that's kept this idiot busy for a month. Between myself and Unome I'm sure that Mike will never want to sell another BMW ever again Twisted Evil

Big thanks to EK for creating the shuttle that dropped Mike into my lap, thanks to Larry Flynt for the piss-funny comments and thanks to Unome for throwing down the gauntlet, I will find a mugu who will sell me a car with a higher poon tang factor than 2.0. Also big thanks to all who popped in for a read and a laugh. I'm off to buy a restored Datsun now, wish me luck Twisted Evil

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debt management

Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 10:42 pm

Strong work, DJ! Laughing

And if you ever see an ad for an X5 with a 1.8 poon tang factor, please spare a thought to our dear friend Mike, who provided us with such delightful entertainment.

Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 11:09 pm

Now that is what I call a Slap bow_down

I think the best bit was

Quote:

I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your hunt for rabid man ass

Top Class Bait Very Happy

Make sure you check the Datsuns poon tang factor (I take it that it is a real life car this time)

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 12:31 am

Well Datsun did bring out a lot of different cars years ago (like the great 260z and the woefull Sunny and 180b) but they never produced a model called the 'Datsun Hardrooter' which is what Alex and Angelique are looking for. Still, no doubt some handy salesman mugu will find them one somewhere Very Happy

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New Relationship Advice Forum

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:56 am

I think the Datsun Hardrooter was introduced to compete with the wildly successful Toyota Muffdiver.

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 3:17 am

that'll be my next car yard aquisition Very Happy

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recession in us

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 3:19 am

Holy batcrap batman! Mike attempts to set the record straight! My bait gets to continue!!! (and here I was thinking he was so badly burnt he'd never come back!) He's been slapped so hard I think he likes the taste of it!

Quote:

Hello Alex,
Sorry for what happened, i have no intension of taking your wife from you , your wife wrote to me one night telling me how you have cheating on her , i tried to console her, she wrote again telling me that she found some women underwear that was not hers in her car, i tried to tell to take things easy.,
Besides i finally soled the bmw after i received your last mail, i needed some money urgently so i have to sell the car since you are no longer interested, sorry for everything i was just trying to be nice to you and your wife, i still take you as a brotther no matter what might have happened, thanks for your kindness.

Mike

Take my wife? When did I accuse you of that? Twisted Evil

Quote:

Mike,

Are you okay? What are you talking about?? I'm sitting in m hotel room
in Vegas and I've read your email over and over again and it still
doesn't make any sense. When did I accuse you of taking my wife away?
I think someone might be playing a game on you my friend, i haven't
talked to you since a couple of days ago...
And you've sold the car??? I was so keen on buying it off you! Is
there any chance you can order another one in? I don't mind waiting,
you've been an honest guy since the beggining. Obviously I'm going to
be here in Vegas for another couple of weeks (lots of business has
come up) but I can keep in contact via email if need be. Please let me
know, I've been thinking about this fast x5 for a while now.

Regards
-Alex

I'm so happy, my fav mugu is back for a much bigger slapping. Time to hit him with strange requests, strange forms and just about everything else i can lob at him Twisted Evil

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Ferrari 340

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 5:26 am

Mike's pretty quick on the uptake! He blames it on his competitors. Must be that damn Usman Bello trying to steal his money again Laughing

Quote:

Dear Alex, weare very sorry for the mail you received from our email account, we didnt actualy send you those email, i think that someone has our email account password and has been using it against us, you are right someone has been playing games on us and i believe that it must be our competitors.Once again we sorry for the embarrsment.Wehave now secured our email account so such thing will never happen again.

As I have said in my previouse mails the BMW X5 has been reserved for you and all you wanted has been putten in place in the car, we do not sell a car that has alraedy been altered to the taste of a costumer unless if the costumer suddenly withdralls interest.We would like to know when you will want the x5 to be delivered to you.We will also need You to wire us a downpayment of $9,500 via western union money transfer for car as soon possible so that whenever you are around the car will be delivered to you and you will then pay the remaining balance of the car price after delivery.Please it is necessary that you do this so that we can prepare all the cars document and store the car in our store for you.

You can also provide us you phone number and address so that we can keep you more informed effectively.

I will be waiting to hear from you ASAP.
Regards ,
Mike

Time for some bullshit forms I think Very Happy

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Autism Forum

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 6:07 am

<threadjack>

@DJ - the Buzzsaw is one heck of a ride. The '87 non-turbo isn't not the most highest HP car I've had, but it is *by far* the most fun car I've ever driven. Just find a winding road and hammer it.

There's just something about using both hands and feet with a great car that just brings a s*it-eating grin to one's face. Very Happy

Z
</threadjack>

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 6:20 am

Yeah still keen on getting my hands on a turbo series 5, for me the rareness will be a big thing. Out here you see plenty of series 1's, 2's and 3's (first gen's) but it's rare to see a 2nd or 3rd gen crusing by. Plenty of rx8's getting about too which is a nice sight Smile

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Down Syndrome / Retardation Forum

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 6:45 am

I took the 7 into work today (enough snow melted to make it worth the run) - gotta love pacing a cop at 140 in an 100 zone. Smile

Spotted two 8's on the commutes. <drool> I want an 8! </drool> The Oldsmobeater is the highway car. The 7 is just for a blast. Series 4 cars are underrated, IMHO.

Z

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 7:04 am

I love the shape of the 8. Do they restore many rx3's over there? In most states here they turn them into serious 9-10 second weapons with the 13bt, monster ports and serious huffers. Then now and again you see a nice example that's still got enough grunt to get up and boogie with the v8's when it needs to Smile

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Baha'i Faith Forum

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