Father Joe meets Rosie Johnson - *TROPHIES*

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Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:30 pm

Believe it or not, this is actually the lad's 'scam name'.

Quote:

FROM MRS.ROSEMARY,
A MEMBER OF (H.D.M)
HOLYCROSS DELIVRANCE MINISTRY
RUE No35 MACCORY
ABIDJAN-COTE D'IVOIRE.
WEST AFRICA

GOOD DAY FREIND,

I am Mrs. Rosemary Johnson, from cote d' ivoire I am a widow being that
I lost my husband two years ago.My husband was a serving director of the
Cocoa and Coffee exporting board until his death.He was assassinated last
january 2003 by the rebels following the political uprising.

Not likely, but uh, sure�

Quote:

Before his death he had a foreign account up to the tune of $9.8Million
dollars which he told me he deposited in one finance/security company in
Europe)which he wanted to use for the importation of cocoa and coffee processing
machine. I want you to do me a favour to receive this funds to a safe account
in your country or any safer place as the beneficiary.This is my reason
for writing to you.

Would that favour perhaps have to do with a lawyer fee?

Quote:

Please if you are willing to assist me and my only Son victor, I will give
you the full Name E maill/phone contact of the finance/security company
for you to contact them and tell them that your are my late husband business
partner..
Please Contact me immediately with the above E-mailaddress and include your
telephone and Fax numbers to enable me send you all necessary documents
as regards the money before they kill me.It is a risk free transaction.

Close; Security company� Interesting� Lets see if Joe can create some chaos!

Quote:

Thanks Best Regards
Mrs. Rosemary

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:31 pm

In steps Father Joe, a noble Father indeed!

Quote:

My Dear Mary,

Blessings be to you on this fine day, and I hope this email reaches you
in good health. Please allow me to introduce myself; I am the Good
Father Heywood Joseph Blome, of the Church of the Holy High Rollers. We
often help out people around the world who are in crisis, but we ask
that they join our ministry, and help spread the word of the Holy
Rollers, in return. Are you up to the task, my dear Mary?

Yours in the Light of the Lord,
Father Heywood Joseph Blome

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:33 pm

Lets� see if Mary and son would be willing to join the church�.

Quote:

DEAR Joe Blome

I sense a mysterious �lover� for the Father!

Quote:

How are you and your family today hope God is
oncontrol? please i received your mail i thank you for
your respond.Please if your willing to help me and my
son i will l ike to join your ministry there for stert
a new life with my son that is why i contact you.

Oohhhh, She wants to join! Hurray!! Fresh meat for the grinder!

Quote:

I will like you a show me that you will tak care of me
and my son victor to trost you more i will like you to
give me your full contact so that i will send you all
the documants and contact of the security company in
Europe so that you can contact and tell them that your
my late husband business pertner.

You mean, talk to you, don�t you, �Rosemary�?

Quote:

That you want to come and brouth them money out of the
security company. Please tell them the time you will
come and get back to me so that i will send you all
documants about the money.

Brouth? What does Brouth mean (muguspeak gives me a 403 error)

Quote:

Hope to hear from you.
Remain Blessed
Mrs Rosemary
Please contact me here this is my private email box...

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:34 pm

Methinks it�s time to send Rosie the forms, and maybe a copy of the Church�s picture�

Quote:

My Dearest Rosemary,

Blessings be to you on this fine Friday evening! How is your son? I trust he too is willing to join the church, as well? If he is, I will attach a copy of the induction form in my next email.

Double your forms, double your pleasure!

Quote:

We here at the Church of the Holy High Rollers always take care of our members in any way we can, either financial or otherwise.

You betcha!

Quote:

If you have any other questions, please feel free to email me back and I'll be more than happy to answer any and all questions that you may have.

Too bad they probably won�t be the answers you�re looking for!

Quote:

Bless you, My dear Rosemary (and son)!

Yours in the Light of The Lord,
Father Heywood Joseph Blome

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:35 pm

The following Monday, and The Good Father gets a reply

Quote:

Dear Joe

Good morning i thank you for your mail, Please i dont
understand you am asking you if you can help us
transfering this money into your account in your
country because of our condition here is two bard.
Please if you can help me after the transfering the
money into your account i will jion you there for
stert a business and take care if my salf. please if
your willing to help hope to hear from you.

Remain Blessed
Mrs Rosemary

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:36 pm

It seems the Laddie is confused� Time to straighten a lad out!

Quote:

My Dearest Rosie Johnson,

Heh, I couldn�t resist!

Quote:

Its' like I said in the previous email; If you and your son are willing to join the church, the church will be willing to help you out. All you have to do is agree to complete a form (one for you, one for your son), return it either by attaching it to an email or faxing it to the number on the form, and the church will help you in any way that you need.

Gotta give the Lad as many modalities as they want.

Quote:

But you and your son must first agree to join the church. Please, do not worry, we are a christian sect that believes in enjoying the love of the Almighty with physical enjoyment as well as emotional.

Physical, in the sense of rolling about on the floor�

Quote:

Being a member of the emergency grant committee, I can honestly tell you, there is about $21,419 USD availlable to help out people in your situation. This amount can be used for food, clothes, housing, you name it.

Dangling a carrot the size of a small jumbo jet� This�ll either make the lad twig, or make them drool like they have rabies.

Quote:

Yours in the Light of The Lord,
Father Heywood Joseph Blome

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:37 pm

The next day, the Good Father receives a reply from Rosie Johnson (gotta love that name!)

Quote:

Hello Joe Blome

Thank you for you mail i have agree what you said to
be a member of you church because i dont wan,t to be
here with my son contino supharing. Please goahaed and
show me your help.

Remain Blessed
Rosemary

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:38 pm

She�s just asking for it, isn�t she, folks?

Quote:

My Dearest Rosie Johnson,

I hope the day finds you in good health. I am delighted that you and your son have decided to join the Church. Please find attached the induction form. Please print it TWICE; once for you, and once for your son, and send it either by fax or by email back to me. Also attached is an emergency grant form. Please fill it out and return it along side the other two.

Notice; Joe said "TWICE" in caps, no less... slap time!!

Quote:

While I am waiting for the form, please tell me a bit about yourself, dear heart. It does get a little lonely here in the rectory, as I live by myself. There is more than enough room for you and your son. Are you pretty? Would you mind attaching a photo of yourself for me? Please find attached, a copy of my photo ID card, so you can see what I look like.

Maybe we can seduce a mugu�?

Quote:

Blessings be to you on this fine day, Rosie (and son)!

Yours in the Light of The Lord,
Father Heywood Joseph Blome

Attached images:

Father Joes' ID card:

Look closely at the watermark; I will supply it out to anyone who asks for it, for church-type forms...

The induction form:

and the Grant Form:

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:46 pm

Monday morning rolls around, and it�s trophy time, folks!! Seems these forms crank out the trophies!

Quote:

Please Jos if eny mistake please try to create me please

Ugh, this mugu is REALLY asking for it, ain�t they?

Page one (Induction)

Page Two (Grant form)

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:47 pm

And, in the second email:

Quote:

Dear Jos

I hope all is fine with you? please go througth this
and gat back to me so that i will forward you the
contact of the security company in Eorupe and tell
them the time you come and brouth the box out. Please
gat back to me lat me prparing my self for comeing
there.Hope to hear from you...

Thanks Remain Blessed
Mrs Rosemary

The supposed mugu:

And, her supposedly late husband... The only guy I know of with boobs!

And now, for the 10 cent question; What should the Good Father do about these forms? They're not totally filled out, not to mention a second set is missing. Coupled with a lousy photo that is clearly not the lad. Joe's thinkin that it's high-time for a little mugu love Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 10:20 pm

Later that day, Father Joe decides to contact the Lady Lad back, and see if he can make �her� sweat a bit�

Quote:

My dearest Rosie Johnson,

Blessings be to you on this fine day! My Lord, aren't you the prettiest little thing there is! Do you happen to have any more pictures that you can share with me? They'd certainly help me get through the lonely nights at the rectory!

Overall, the forms look pretty good, I will pass them onto the financial comittee, and I'll know tomorrow night. In the meantime, tell the security company to contact me, and we'll get the ball rolling!

Yours in the Light of The Lord,
Father Heywood Joseph Blome

Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2005 10:30 pm

A day or so later, and the Good Father Joe (seems he's both alive and dead at the same time... Talented, eh?) finally gets a reply out of Rosie Johnson (you just HAVE to love that name Laughing

)...

Quote:

Brother in chris Joe

Please have i a nise day hope your ok, Please i don,t
undersant you very i send you my photo was decauseing
this with my pastor about help your giveing me that
son i will travil.My pastor told me i should greeth
you about your help eveing my son sent greeth to you.

With good health

Remain Blessed
Mrs Rosemary

Either this lad is really stupid, or Joe has put the mugu on the spot... Time to turn the thumbscrews a wee tad, methinks!

Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 12:23 am

I just plain forgot about this lad Embarassed

It�s high-time Joe replies, methinks!

Quote:

Blessings to you today, my dear Rosie Johnson!

I'm sorry if I confused you. All I meant was, I was just wondering if I could see more pictures of you. You are the prettiest woman I've ever seen. I'm still waiting for the legal forms.

I still wish to help you, my dear. Please respond back to me and tell me how things are going on your side.

Bless you, my sweet!

Yours in the Light of The Lord,
Father Heywood Joseph Blome

Guest

Third time this week we've seen that second pic..

BTW, Banners are grand!

Very Happy

Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 1:18 am

Thanks

I plan on using the portrait at the end of the coffin as a point in the burn. I pretty much make it a point to deface the pictures like that when I get them - makes the 'Mugu Recycling Effort' all that much more difficult.

Must be pretty bad when the dead hubby has bigger hooters than the widow! Laughing

Currently, I'm debating on what to do to this box-of-rocks... Any suggestions?

So far, I plan on slapping for the bad forms in a few days - or at least getting them to fill in the missing answers.

Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:07 am

A few days later, and Rosie gets back to the Good Father. And wouldn�t you know it? She�s got his name �right�!

Quote:

Dear Joe Blowme,

Thank you very much for your compliments you've so
much pass to me on my beauty.What about your own
picture i asked for,aint you sending it again?I will
get back to you as soon as posible for the forms.

Mrs Johnson.

Hmmm, seems like she wants more pictures... Strange, she never asked for more pictures before... I must've been handed up the chain!

Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:25 am

Heh, oops, I plain forgot about this Box-of-rocks.

Quote:

Hello Joe Blome

Hope you fine and injoying your self over there.Please
Joe i thank you for your help your help me please i
dont know other picture i will send to you you will be
ok ontilly wan i come there.please bear with me i
being tellng some of my friends thet i will travl son,

I be looking to hear from you Mrss Rosemary arrengd
your self to come here or the time you will visit the
security company in Europe.Please Joe if you relly
want to help me please goahead to help me and my son
God will Bless you.

Sent my greet to our church members hope to hear from
you,
Remain Blessed
Mrs Rosemary

Ugh, reading that made my brain hurt banghead

Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:25 am

Time to get a little bit of fun out of this lad, methinks�

Quote:

Blessings to you today, my fine Rosie Johnson!

I am so sorry I haven't had the chance to reply back to you as soon as I should have. You see, we are having a Holiday Weekend here at the Church, and the preparations are rather time consuming. I am dreadfully sorry for not replying sooner.

How've things been for you and your son? I hope all is right with little Baby Johnson.

I am still awaiting your instructions on what I must do to help you, pretty lady. Please email me soon; I love reading your emails.. They lighten my day alot.

Yours in the Light of The Lord,
Father Heywood Joseph Blome

Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 10:02 am

My my my, it seems the Ladess is getting impatient. Father Joe gets the following four emails. However, the Good Father is feeling kinda sick, so he�s going to take a couple days off and make the lad sweat.

Email one of four;

Quote:

Dear Joe

Blessed be with you also,I thank you fro your respond
my husband deposited this money in one
finance/security company in Europe for importation of
cocoa and coffee.

I want you to assist me contacting the security
company in europe tell them that your my late husband
business pertner.That your coming to brouth the fund
out of the security company and transfer it to your
account in your country.

And tell me the time i will arranged my self to coming
there.You can sue the money take cera of me and my son
and other thins.

Remain Blessed Joe
Mrs Rosemary

Second of four:

Quote:

Dear Blome,i hope you understand what i mean,if you're
willing to assist us then you have to contact the
decurity company in Europe,i will indicate the company
location on my next mail.You will make any enquiry you
desire to make about the deposit then you visit the
company to release the box after that you shall help
us look for a good investment to invest the
money,either in your country or any other country but
not in Africa.After that you will arrange for us to
come over or if possible i shall come over to europe
to meet you so that we cango together to the company.I
hope you understand now.

Remain blessed.
Mrs Johnson

Third of four:

Quote:

Dear Joe Blome,

Sorry i forgot to tell you,i called the company today
tto give your con tact to them to contact you but the
receptionist told me that they dont call clients,it is
only the client that will contact them to take
informations from the company.Please you need to
contact them so that we can round up this as soon as
possible.

Please repy soon
Thak you and God bless.
Mrs Johnson

And the fourth one, four minutes after the last;

Quote:

Dear Joe Blome,

Sorry i forgot to tell you,i called the company today
to give them your contact but i was told me that it's
the client that will contact them to take informations
from the company.Please you need try to contact them
so that we can round up this thing as soon as
possible.

Please repy soon
Thak you and God bless.
Mrs Johnson

Notice a pattern here? Shorter and shorter emails - the lad is gettin nervous, methinks! Besides, Joe is thinking that the above-mentioned upcoming holiday is going to be the perfect excuse to take a couple days off�

Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 2:17 am

The following Monday, and Joe replies, all nice and rested up for the next week of baiting�

Quote:

Blessings to you on this fine day, my dearest Rosie Johnson!

I am truly sorry for not responding to you sooner. I was tied up with the weekends' church proceedings, and preparing for our holiday. It seems sheep do not like to wear dresses, or chickens like to wear hats.

I still have not heard from the security company. Please tell them to email me (as email is free, is it not?). The church does not have international long distance, I am afraid, so I cannot call them.

I still wish to help you, Dearest Rosie Johnson. Please email me back soon, you saucy little tart!

Yours in the Light of The Lord,
Father Heywood Joseph Blome

Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2005 5:55 pm

She lives!!! She LIIIIIVES!!!!

Quote:

Dear Joe Praise the Lord.

How are today hope your ok, Please sorry for respond
you mail is because of dos problem i told you.
Please i dont know what to do the director of the
srcurity company send me documants that we have to
celar the dept since my husband died the demurrage
fee,

Befor we can brouth the fund out please joe i will
send you the documants so that you will go there and
paid them the money and brouth the fund out and
transfer it to your account in your country,

And tell us the time of comeing there please God will
bless you and reword you abundant.Please sent my
greeting to our church members that i will be there
son.

May the Lord bless you Joe
Mrs Rosemary

Ugh, my head HURTS!!! Can ANYONE make ANY sense of this slaughtered email? A Gabillion in Nigerian Oil for anyone who can.

Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2005 5:56 pm

Time to have a little fun with this headache, eh folks?

Quote:

Blessings to you on this fine day, My Sweet Rosie Johnson!

As I've told you before, Sweetest Lamb, you must have the security company email me, and we'll get those nasty buggers all set up to be knocked over. As soon as you can do that, I'll make an appointment to see the person in charge, and then we'll see when I can book a flight. But first, you must get them to email me. Do that for me, Dear Lamb, and we'll go from there. Ok?

Yours in the Light of The Lord,
Father Heywood Joseph Blome

Notice; I'm turning slightly more and more British in each email.... I've got plans for that in the next few emails.......

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 5:03 am

Roughly a week later, and the Lad is confused - Simply priceless!

Quote:

Dear Joe Blome,

It is your duty if you are really willing to assist me
to contact the security company and tell them of your
intentions to come on my behalf for the release of the
box. There contact: [email protected]

One more thing is your language baffles me sometimes
and put doubt on me concerning your identity.
You wrote" ...and we'll get those nasty buggers all
set up to be knocked over"
Contact the company and let me know.

Regards

Rosemary

It seems they went the extra foot and got a free email account for the security company...

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 5:09 am

Time to push it a little more, and see if I can manage to use some British insults whilest we're at it.... Twisted Evil

Quote:

Blessings to you on this fine day, my Sweet Rosie Johnson!

You never need worry about my identity, my sweet Rosie. You see, I am an immigrant from England, but I live in the USA. It's part of a priest-exchange program. Sometimes my British just pops out, so you pretty much have to ignore it.

Now, on to business, my Jolly Wodga. I'll contact the security company as soon as possible. Please keep in touch, so I know how things are progressing on your side.

Keep your chin up, sweet one!

Heywood Joseph Blome

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 5:12 am

And this, sent to the "Security Company"...

Quote:

Hello, I was told by one Rosie Johnson that I am to contact you regarding a hot box. Please get back to me and tell me all about this sweet, hot box.

Joe Blome

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