The Story of a Revrend, another Revrened, and a Lawyer

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Ongoing bait...

I'm in blue, the revrend is in red, and the lawyer is in green

I get the standard 419 scam mail. I don't even bother to mention it anymore.

I send him:

Quote:

I'm very interested in your offer. But I would like to know if there is any risk involved.

Magical question! The Rev. Responds:

Quote:

Dear Mr.,

Thanks for your Electronic Mail.

I would say at this Juncture that there are No Risk Involved in this Transaction.

As a Man of God certainly I would not Endanger the Life of God's Own Creature at any Point in time.So I will Boldly say that there are No Risk Involved.

I would on this Note want you to Provide me with the Necessary Informations about you so that we can Effect Changes to the Beneficiary of the Money to your Name;

1.Your Legitimate Name,
2.Your Contact Address,
3.Your Phone Number,
4.Your Fax Number.

Please,Upon the Confirmation of this Mail I would want you to Provide me with the above Informations.

May God Almighty Bless you Abundantly as you Complete this Task.

Yours' In Christ.

Pastor.
SEED HARVEST MINISTRY.

He BOLDLY says there's no risk! Lucky me!

Quote:

Very well.

1060 West Addison Street, Chicago Illinois 60613-4397
773-384-9634

May I ask the same information of you?

Fans of Chicago Baseball, and the Blues Brothers will know that address. Heh. The phone number is just some pay phone. Again, heh. Smile

Quote:

Well,as of now I do not have a Permanent Address were I hold my Church as Activities.I do hold it in my Members Place.So it will be very Wrong for me to use their Address in this Situation.

But Below are the Informations you Required of me:

PASTOR .

Email:[email protected]
Tel:+44-704-011-2354 Note: I urge you to NOT call this number! Especially in the middle of the night! When he may be sleeping! That would just be rude!
Fax:+44-870-134-1476

May God Almighty Richly Bless you and give you the Fortitude to Complete this Noble Task and use the Money Judiciously to serve his Name.

I Await your Reciept of my Mail.

Yours' In Christ,

PASTOR .

Tel:+44-704-011-2354
Fax:+44-870-134-1476

A couple days later, he emails me back...

Quote:

Dear Rev.,

I am still Anticipating the Acknowledgement of the Previous Mail I sent to you.

Please,I will like to get a Response as I have already told the Security Company that I will be sending the True Beneficiary to the Money to claim the Funds.

So,Please provide me with the Informations I asked of you in the First Mail I sent to you so that my Lawyer can effect the Change of Beneficiary.

I Earnestly wait for your Response.

WTF? I gave him that info!

Quote:

I did recieve your email. I was wondering why you did not respond. A few emails back I did get you the required information, but just in case you lost it, here it is again:

Rev. xxx,

1060 West Addison Street, Chicago Illinois 60613-4397
773-384-9634

Yeah, I'm too nice to mugus...

Anyway, he responds:

Quote:

Dear Rev.,

Thanks for your Mail as I recieved it in Good Health.

Well,on this Note I will Advice you to Contact my Legal Counsel at the Address Below:

NAME:
EMAIL ADDRESS:

He will be the one to Guide you in the Legal Documentation of this Noble Task.I have already informed him of your Anticipation towards this Task and he has Assured me that he will give you 100% assistance as you too have to Assist him.

Please Note that all Correspondence between My Lawyer and you,a Copy should be sent to me.

I Urgently wait for your Reply.

Best Regards,

Pastor
SEED HARVEST MINISTRY
LONDON.

Of course, I only copy him in on the first couple emails..

Quote:

Barr. ...

Contacting you as instructed. How may our congregation assist in this situation?

Wehear from the lawyer!

Quote:

Attn:Rev.,

I am in Reciept of your Mail.

I will want you to Provide for me the Following
Informations about yourself:

1)Your Full Legitimate Names,
2)Your Complete Address both Official and Residential,
3)Your Telephone and Fax Number,
4)A Scan Copy of your Passport.

I need these Information to Effect the Change of
Beneficiary and you know I cannot just Effect the
Change of Beneficiary to a Person whom I do not have
the Complete Informations of incase of any Eventuality
which I Pray nothing of such happens as I believe that
you are a Man of God.

Please Upon the Acknowledgement of the Reciept of this
Mail,I need an Urgent Response.

Barr.(LLB,BL).

I reply:

Quote:

I do not own a passport. WIll this be a problem?

Will it? Tune in this same time next post. Same mugu time, same mugu channel!

Guest

The barrister responds:

Quote:

Attn:Rev.Derrek Farnsworth,

I am In Reciept of your Mail.

Well,in a Case like this I am afraid to say that all
the Dealings will be Online. Darn the luck!

If you had a Passport you have been able to collect the
Money Physically from them.

But Despite not having a Passport I will need a Proof
of Identification of yourself so that I get the Picture
of the Person that I am Dealing with.

Please,Upon the Confirmation of the Reciept of this
Mail I will need an Urgent Acknowledgement.

Regards,

Barr.(LLB,BL)

Now, if he wants my pic, then damnit, I want his. I should note that at this same time, I'm baiting this moron ass mugu from another account. Tried for the trophy. Lad twigged. Oh well. Let's see how I do here:

Quote:

That's fine. May I ask the same of you?

Butthole emails me a copy of his passport IN .PDF FORMAT! I have converted it to .gif for your viewing pleasure:

He says:

Quote:

I have Attached therein a Scan Copy of my Passport as
you wanted.

So,I will like you to do the same.

I Urgentky wait for your Response.

Regards,

Yeah, HE'S getting a copy OF MY NON-EXISTENT PASSPORT!

I'm cc'ing the Rev. still, and he replys:

Quote:

Thanks for your Mail.

But I do not Understand by what you meant by "if you may ask me of the same".

If it's to send you a Passport I can't do that as you have to talk to my Lawyer he is now the one to take Charge of the Noble Task.

God Bless you and the Church.

Yours' In Christ,

Keep your panties on.. Once again, I'm too nice to the mugus

Quote:

YOu originally said to include you on all emails.

I apologize for any misunderstanding as I was talking
to the barrister

I noticed that I never sent the barrister my info or pic..

Quote:

1060 West Addison Street, Chicago Illinois 60613-4397
773-384-9634

I live in the church rectory, so the above information
is also my personal information, but add "Concourse
C".

As for my photo...

Barrister sends me a form to fill out.

Will I fill it? HELL NO!

Quote:

I Acknowledge the Reciept of your Mail and Picture.

I would on this Note send you the Retainer's Contract
Form which you are to go through thoroughly then sign
and send back to me Via Email Attachment.

This Retainer's Contract Form Binds me as your Lawyer
in this Transaction and also there is a Fee is to be
Paid as you know before any Service is Rendered there
are Fees to be Paid.

Upon the my Confirmation of the Duly Signed Retainer's
Form and the Retainer's Fees,I will Immediately start
the processing of the Legal Documents that you will use
in Recieving the Funds.

Please Upon the Confirmation of the Reciept of this
Mail I will need an Instant Reply.

Regards,

Its not worth posting. A .pdf with the "nothingness of lies". No big red seals or anything. Sad

To be continued...

Guest

Continuing...

Upon reading the retainer's form, I note a $1,500.00 fee...

Quote:

What's with the $1,500.00 cash? How am I supposed to send that?

Supposed to be sent Western Union, surprise, surprise...

Quote:

I am in Reciept of your Electronic Mail.

The Fees that is to be Paid to you is the Consultantion
(Retainer's )Fees for making me the Lawyer of this
Transaction and will be used in the Preparation of the
Legal Documents as regards this Transaction.

Please,Confirm the Reciept of this Mail and when the
Retainer's Fees is to be Paid.

Regards,

(LLB(Hons),BL).

Note that the Money will be Paid Via Western Union
Money Transfer to our London Office which we will give
you the Name that the Money will be sent through.

Next email, I attach the form... Or DO I? It appears, there's been a "transmission" error. From this point on I ignore his requests for the form...

He responds back... BUt note how my name changes... Hmmm. Come to find out this is another person he's scamming. She was duly warned off...

Quote:

Attn:Mrs.,

I am in Reciept of your Electronic Mail sent on the
31st of Januray 2005.

I will on this Note advise you to send my Retainership
Fees to my Secretary at the Address Below:

Name:Mr SIMAO DE JONGE
Address: 20 RAMSFORT HOUSE MANOR ESTATE
LONDON SE16 3NZ

Please,also you are to resend the Retainer's Contract
Form as the Document which I sent to you is not
Complete.I will want you to send the Complete Document
for Reference Purpose and Legal Documentation.

I Await your Urgent Compliance to my Mail.

Regards,

(LLB(Hons),BL)

Please Note that Immediately you have Confirmed the
Payment you are to send me the Following Informations
so as to enable us Recieve the Money:

1.Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN).
2.Sender's name.
3.Sender's address.
4.Amount sent.
5.Test question and answer if any.

As it appears on the transfer slip, You may send the
payment slip by
fax to +Fax:+44-709-286-1406 and also Via E-mail
Attachment.

Rev. DA gets upset...

Quote:

Who is Mrs.? Why did you send me a mail for her?

I thought we were the only ones involved in this matter.

Please explain yourself!

Look at his response. A typing error?

Quote:

I Aknowledge the Reciept of your Mail.

I am very sorry about the Mix-up,it was a Typing Error
which my Secretary made.

Mrs.is also a Client who I am going to
help to Judge a Matter with she has with her Landlord
over her Tenancy Agreement.You may wish to contact her
at the Email Below and ask her for proper Verification:

Name:,
Email:[email protected]

Once again,I am very sorry for the Mix-Up.

Hope to Continue doing the Transction with you.

Regards,

Barr.(LLB(Hons),BL)

Please Note that you are to Adhere to the Instructions
on the Mail but Ignore the Name as the Mail was to be
sent to you for the Payment of the Retainer's Contract.

I decide to let him stew for a few days...

Quote:

Did you get my Last Electronic Mail Dated 3rd of
February 2005?

I Await your Immediate Confirmation of the Reciept of
the Mail.

Barr.Nadin Al Awar,(LLB(Hons),BL),
GLOBAL TRUST CHAMBERS,
LONDON,UNITED KINGDOM

A reason I let him steam, is because there was a new wrinkle to "The "
That being that Sammy Sosa was traded to Baltimore. Sad

I eventually decided to ignore it, but at least gave me a reason to delay. Smile

Quote:

Take it easy. I had some business to attend to in Baltimore over the weekend. I'll finish the form later today.

Now began the process of sending him money transfers. First one:

Quote:

Here's the info:

tracking # 1276451690 Mr SIMAO DE JONGE

This can be verified at NON WESTERN UNION SERVICE

He refuses to collect:

Quote:

I am in Reciept of your Electronic Mail Dated 7th of
February 2005.

I Earlier Advise that the Retainer's Fees should be
sent Via Western Union Monet Transfer but you sent the
Money through Easy Transfer.

I will on this Note Advise you that you call the Money
back and send it Via Western Union Money Transfer along
with the Completed Part of the Retainer's Contract Form
as I have not yet Acknowledged the Full Copy to my
Email Address.

Please Note that Immediately you have Confirmed the
Payment you are to send me the Following Informations
so as to enable us Recieve the Money:

1.Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN).
2.Sender's name.
3.Sender's address.
4.Amount sent.
5.Test question and answer if any.

As it appears on the transfer slip, You may send the
Payment slip by Fax:+44-709-286-1406 and also Via
E-mail Attachment.

I Await your Immediate Acknowledgement of this Mail.

Regards,

I tell him that the only way to get the money back out is to have him sign up with the service, which he dutifully does.

Transfer # 2: To Be Continued....

Guest

I have to start with a mail he sent me in regards to the previous NON WU TRANSFER...

Quote:

I am in Reciept of your Mail Dated 7th of February 2005.

I have logged in and Tracked the Money which is there
and is expected to arrive on the 10th of February 2005.

Now you go ahead and call the Money back as Western
Union is the Fastest and more convinient way of sending
and recieving Money Worldwide.

I Await your Urgent Response.

Regards,

Sounds like he just got a job with WU, as he read their advertising copy verbatim!

Anway, continuing on with the saga...

I inform him that I won't be able to get to the NON-WU office today to get the money back. He responds saying he got my mail, and to send his form back. By this point, I totally excluded Pastor from the correspondence.

I let the barrister stew for a few days, and, because of the Sammy Sosa situation, I send him the following:

Quote:

I have some bad news for you.

I got the money back, but now it appears that the church is reassigning me to the Baltimore congregation, and so I will not have time for a week to do anything with this, while I move.

Please be patient with me.

Cheeky bastard send me this:

Quote:

I am in Recirpt of your Electronic Mail Dated 8th of
February 2005.

Well,going to Baltimore or you being Assigned to
Baltimore has nothing to do with me. It does if you want the money!

You are to determine when you want to Complete the
Transaction,so I will be waiting for you till anytime
you deem fit to send the Retainer's Contract Fee as I
am in no Haste in completing this Transaction.

Please Note that you are to send the Retainer's
Contract Form duly signed and Filled in Full. But Note
that we will not Proceed till you send the Retainer's
Fees.

If,I must Advise you I would say you send the
Retainer's Form(duly signed and filled by you) and the
Retainer's Fees before you go to Baltimore that is if I
am to Advise you as your Lawyer in this Transaction as
the more the Time,the more the Delay which is not Good
in any Transaction.

But,if you still Insist on when you come back from
Baltimore,well I am in no Position to stop you from not
doing according to your Will.

I Earnestly Await your Immediate Acknowledgement of
this Mail.

Regards,

I, of course, steadfastly refuse to send him the form, plus I get ticked off at his attitude.

Quote:

I just completed the move. Of course this means I'll
need to start the form afresh.

Secondly, I do not appreciate being talked down to.
Would it hurt you to be a bit nicer in your
correspondence?

Rev. Hagler emails me back, wondering what's going on?

Quote:

Greetings to you in Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

I haven't heard from you for Quite a while now.What seems to be happening?

I told you in one of my Previous Mail to you that you should always try and forward all Correspondence between my Lawyer and you.

Please try and see to my Request so that I know the extent to which the both of you have reached and when it will be over.

I Earnestly wait for your Response.

God Bless your Church and you.Amen.

Yours' In Christ,

I apologize to the mugu for not keeping him informed.. With a caveat...

Quote:

I apologize.. THe last week, I've ben moving to
Baltimore, and before that, I forgot to include you.
Isn't he keeping you abreast of the situations?

Its not MY job. Its the job of his barrister!

I find out later on, that the barrister does start including him on the emails. Remember: Never do more work than your lads!

The barrister apologizes for his attitude...

Quote:

I am in Reciept of your Electronic Mail.

Firstly,I would like to Apologize to you if in any way
the Mail I wote to you offended you.

Secondly,I await the duly signed Retainer's Contract
Form.

I Await your Acknowledgement of the Reciept of this
Mail upon Confirmation.

Regards,

I still refuse to send the form...

Continued

2-17

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