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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:18 am

Dr Ehinon Dickson,
Head,Operations Manager,
International Trust Bank Plc.
Plot 84/88, Ajose Adeogun street,
Victoria Island,
Lagos Nigeria.

Attention:

Confidential Letter
First, I must solicit your confidence in this
transaction, this is by virtue of its nature as being
utterly CONFIDENTIAL and TOP SECRET. Though I know
that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one
apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that
all will be well at the end of the transaction.

For the purpose of introduction,I am Dr Ehinon Dickson, Head,Operations
Manager, International Trust Bank Plc, in charge of personal and corporate
accounts
above US$5,000,000.00(five million US Dollars only). I
came to know of you in my private search for a
reliable and reputable person to handle a very
confidential transaction which involves the transfer
of a huge sum of money to a foreign account requiring
maximum confidence.

THE PROPOSITION:
A foreigner, late Mr Grahams Peterson, an Oil
Merchant/Contractor with the Federal Govenment of
Nigeria, until his death three years ago in a ghastly
auto crash, banked with us here at International Trust
Bank PLC., Lagos, and had a closing
balance of USD$21.5M (Twenty-One Million, Five Hundred
Thousand United States Dollars only) which the bank
now unquestionably expects to be claimed by any of his
available foreign next of kin or alternatively be
donated to a discredited trust fund for arms and
ammunition at a military war college here in Nigeria.
Fervent valuable efforts are being made by the Bank to
get in touch with any of the Peterson family or
relatives but all have proved to no avail. It is
because of the perceived possibility of not going to
be able to locate any of late Mr Grahams Peterson's
next of kin (he had no wife and children) that the
management under the influence of our Chairman, Board
of Directors, Retired Major General Kalu Uke Kalu,
that an arrangement for the fund to be declared
"UNCLAIMABLE" and then be subsequently donated to the
Trust Fund for Arms and Ammunition which will further
enhance the course of war in Africa and the world in
general.
In order to avert this negative development, myself
and some of my trusted colleagues in the bank now seek
for your permission to have you stand as late Mr
Grahams Peterson's next of kin so that the fund,
USD$21.5M would be subsequently transferred and paid
into your bank account as the beneficiary next of kin.
All documents and proves to enable you get this fund
have been carefully worked out and we are assuring you
a 100% risk free involvement. Your share would be 30%
of the total amount,5% has been set aside for expenses
while the rest would be for myself and my colleagues
for investment purposes in your company or any country
of your choice where the returns on investment will be
optimal.
If this proposal is acceptable to you and you do not
wish to take advantage of the trust we hope to bestow
on you and your company, then kindly get to me
immediately via my e-mail furnishing me with:
1.The Names you want to use for this transaction.
2.Your contact address
3.Your most confidential telephone number
4.Fax number
5.Exclusive e-mail so that I can forward to you the
relevant details of this transaction.
Thank you in advance for your anticipated
co-operation.
Regards,

Dr Ehinon Dickson,
International Trust Bank Plc

___________________ My polite response

Hey Doctor Dick:

Look, I'll go along with your plan, but don't think I'm a chump. I
know that you need me. So here's the "change of plans": I take 75%,
you take the other 25% and do with it what you will. You complain,
I'll cut your share even more. I can't stand f'n mouse-like
complaining little bitches. Just do what I say or else stick it so
far up your arse that it tickles the back of your tonsils.

OK - here's the answers:

1.The Names you want to use for this transaction. Me - Richard (use
whatever f'n name you want).
2.Your contact address. Either my office or my house.
3.Your most confidential telephone number. I don't use a phone - they
are bugged by government stooges.
4.Fax number. Same as telephones - are you so f'n stupid that you
don't realize that the government can read faxes in mid-air while they
travel from one fax machine to another. Gee - what a stupid prick.
5.Exclusive e-mail so that I can forward to you the
relevant details of this transaction. You got it numb nuts.

Richard

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:53 am

I love it! Laughing

I can't wait to hear what you will have to say when/if you get the form letter back!