Father Joe voids a check cashing scheme - Treasure Hunt!

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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 1:45 am

Friday rolls around� and JACKPOT!

Quote:

Good day to you father,
I am very happy that i got your
mail, And i have gotten the required pictures which you
asked from me to be sent you,The pictures are contained in
this mail.
God bless you as you recieve this mail. Please make the
payment the orphans need's the fund ,God bless you again.

Your's sincerely,

Dr.HARRY CHARLES

Followed by these images sent three times (in two blank emails as well):

edit 2; Make that FOUR times! Pushy little lad, ain't he?

Orphanage, huh? Looks more like a stable! (Fitting, for such a horses arse!)

edit; notice the rings? I'll bet these two are married. Also, the sign does indeed read "Bless you Father Chris". I used Photoshops' brightness/contrast adjust to see it.

edit 2; This image is also the perfect canvas for the burn - Hehe.

Ladies and Gentlebaiters; JACKPOT! Very Happy

Kids' faces (all 16 of them) black-barred to protect identities

So, now to make our lad wait the weekend - There's been a horrible tradgedy that our Lad doesn't know about, hehe Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 10:50 am

Looks like our Lad is getting REALLY impatient, folks! The Good Father (who has been taken to the E.R., btw) must be worrying Dr. Harry with how long he's taking...

Well, our Lad Harry called the K7 with a third 2 second hangup call - Nothing audible could be heard, so I won't bother posting it - But it does show that Harry's gettin itchy, hehe.

Edit; while the Good Father lingers in a coma (soon to lapse into the darkness forevermore), I spose it'll be a good time to knock a surprise up for the Lad... Stay tuned for a nifty twist, courtesy of the Seattle Daily!

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 11:16 am

Monday morning rolls around, and it's time for a saddened Father Frank Lassard to contact our lad... It's also time to debut one of my new-found talents - fake news articles Twisted Evil

Quote:

To whom this may concern;

Hello to everyone that I'm sending this email to. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Father Frank Lassard, of the Church of the Holy High Rollers. I am afraid that I have some rather grave news to tell everyone. I trust everyone is seated rather comfortably.

This past friday night, there was a shooting at our sister church, the Church of the Sacred Sheep. In that shooting, our beloved Father Heywood Joseph Blome, amongst others, was shot and killed. Unfortunately, the shooter was a fellow Minister, the Reverend Eugene Tackleberry. The police have taken the Reverend into custody, and he is expected to be put to death by firing squad in 10 days time.

After sitting down for the past couple of days at Father Joes' computer, I have had the chance to review all of his correspondance, including all dealings regarding grants. Please fear not, as I am also a member of the financial comittee, and am able to finish all of the Late Fathers' transactions. Please email me at [email protected] in the future, if you desire to finish the transactions.

Father Joe himself will be laid to rest this coming friday, after the traditional church burial preparation of being rubbed with 167 bananas is completed. After which time, the church itself will be re-opened and availlable to parishners who wish to attend services.

Please find attached a copy of the article about the shooting from the local newspaper.

A few quick notes to those who I am sending out this email;

Ivana; that rash will clear up as soon as you say the prayer correctly. It goes "my heavenly lord, who art in heaven, please deliver me from this curse known as herpes".

Johnny; please refrain from picking your nose in bible school - The Good Lord does not approve of nose goblins.

Marcus; Our Father smites those amongst us blind who do not stop doing what you are doing to the image of the Virgin Mary.

Evan; I haven't heard from you regarding the promotional photos about the upcoming Church Livestock Day. Please get back to me if you are interested in earning that $1000 per photo.

Harry; I have all the documents and photos re; the transaction. Please contact me back at this email address within the next three days, and I will be able to tender payment to you.

To everyone; the Church Rectory is open to all who feel the need to grieve our loss. Father Joe will be sorely missed by everyone, especially the altar boys.

Father Frank Lassard
The Church of the Holy High Rollers

Attached (fake) Article:

One million dollars in nigerian oil contracts for the person who spots the 419 reference Wink

.

Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 1:02 pm

The next day, and the good Father Frank gets a reply on another account � lets� see if I can shoo him to another email account � Heh, a little frustration, if you please!

Quote:

Good day to you father Frank,
i am very happy to hear form
you but sad to hear the news that father JOE is gone too
soon, We here are filled with tears but to God be the
glory.We are sadened by the news,I dont know how to
express the way i feel i am really sorry to hear this
please take heart.Father Frank i want to thank you once
more for the Job you are doing to ensure that the payment
be made because the orphans need's this money i am sure
you must have gone through all the my mail's that was
recieved by fahter Joe.Father frank i will be waiting to
here form tomorrow ,May the lord God bless you amen.

NOTE:THE ORPHANS NEED'S THE GRANT.

YOUR'S SINCERELY,

DR.HARRY CHARLES.

Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 1:03 pm

The good Father Frank replies back, in an attempt to move them back to Joes� account;

Quote:

My dear Dr. Harry,

I am going to be visiting at the Church of the Holy High Rollers for the next two weeks. Since I still have business to take care of re; finishing the late Joes' transactions, could you please continue emailing me at Joes' old account, for the sake of keeping everything in order?

Blessings to you on this fine day, my fellow brother!

Father Frank Lassard
Church of the Holy High Rollers

The reason I'm trying to move the Lad back to the now-dead Joes' account is because the free mail provider doesn't like you to have more than one account (D'oh!).

Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 2:22 pm

Success! Our lad not only goes back to Joes� account, but still thinks he�s talking to Frank! Very Happy

Quote:

Good day to father Frank ,
I am most deligthed to hear
from you today.Fahter i will continue to mail you as you
have asked me to,Please fahter help us with the grant the
orphans need's the money.

YOUR'S SINCERELY,

DR.HARRY CHARLES.

Now that we have todays� goal accomplished, it�s time to wait about 12 hours, whilest I think of what next to do to the Lad� Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2005 7:33 pm

More like 36 hours later (hey, I had to rest after making a speaker box and installing a car stereo Wink

), Father Frank decides to reply. It seems the church is having problems with the photographer for their �holiday�.

Quote:

Blessings be to you on this fine day, Brother Harry! I have been looking through Father Joes' records for the transaction reciept, and I have found it. I will have to have it scanned in, so I can email it to you. In the meantime, however, I have a bit of a proposition for you.

After showing your pictures to the rest of the comittee (Fathers' Jones, Hitower, Hooks, and Harris), they were wondering if you would be willing to assist the Church in it's ad campaign for this years' Sacred Animal festival. Normally, we would have a person from outside the church take the photos, but since you have an excellent photo shooting talent (and the photographer stood us up), the Church Comittee thought that, if you would like to, that your abilities might be very, very useful for the campaign. All you would need to do for the campaign is simply take photos' of various animals, with some signs, and the comittee would be willing to pay up to $500 each picture.

If you are willing to earn a little extra money for the orphanage, please email back, and I'll send you a list of animals and phrases.

Bless you, Dr. Harry, you truley are a saint!

Father Frank Lassard
Church of the Holy High Rollers

Will the lad bite on the photo offer? (hey, more trophies can't hurt!)

Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2005 3:30 am

Later that day, and our Lad is getting rather impatient..

Quote:

Good day to you father frank i am very happy for you
writting me ,And i will be willing to all that you have
asked of me but you have promoised me the grant and up till
nowe nothing has been done the children need's this money
.I will asist you in your crusade but please send down the
money even if its not the whole we need money i beg of you
i am doing this cos i believe in you my brothers please
help us .

your's sincerely,

DR.HARRY CHARLES.

It looks like Dr. Harry is trying to play "Lets make a steal" and get as much as he can ASAP. Well, the Good Father Frank, however, decides that it is time to take a nap, hehe.

Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2005 4:36 pm

The next morning, and the Good Father decides that it�s time to give Harry a list, and jiggle the dangling carrot a wee tad bit.

Quote:

Blessings be to you on this fine day, Brother Harry!

I have talked it over with the comittee, and here is the list of the photos that we need for the upcoming Sacred Animal festival. Please find below a list of the animals and phrases that we need. While you are taking these photos, I will take the money that was agreed upon to the local Moneygram office (I found it in Father Joes' trunk), and have the paperwork drawn up. I also need a name, city, country, and address for the moneygram information.

Animals and slogans for signs;
1.) Donkey � Don�t tap this ass (point at donkey)
2.) Hen � Buck a buck buck (hold hen in front of you)
3.) Sheep � This ewe�s for you! (arm over the sheep)
4.) Cow � Moo Moo Buckaroo (stand next to and lean on)
5.) Cat � (stick tongue out at) I want to lick this pussy
6.) Fish � Don�t squish the fish (hold the middle of the fish in one hand and look mad)

Please note, we need you to pose in the pictures with the animals. As soon as we get the pictures, I promise by the nards of Saint Venerial that I'll release the moneygram information to you, so that you can use the money for the orphanage.

Bless you, Dr. Harry!

Father Frank Lassard
Church of the Holy High Rollers

I'm hoping that, by holding the hen in front of him, he'll get a little 'surprise' (all kids who grew up around chickens knows what I'm talkin about) Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2005 7:25 pm

Later that day, the Good Father (all fathers are good, have you noticed that?) gets a reply. It seems he�s willing to do the animal posing, but he�s trying to get money in advance� Silly mugu, it don�t work that way!

Quote:

Good day to you father Frank i am most deligthed hearing
from you,and i will send to you all the infomation needed
to send the money to me ,About the animals i think that
will take me some time to do that ,Please i would love for
you to send me part of the money because i dont have any
one with me and,you the pictuers that i have to take will
cost me some money to pose with the animals because i will
have to go to the zoo to do that, Not all the animlas can
be found on the streets.Please help us i beg of you ,i have
promised to do as you have asked but i still need some
financial assistance from you to go futher.

YOUR'S SINCERELY,

DR.HARRY CHARLES

He should know better by now; pictures and humilation first, WURA second!

Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2005 7:27 pm

Seeing as he�s willing but �unable�, the Good Father decides to go the easy route � There has to be at least one or two of these animals on the streets somewhere!

Quote:

Blessings be to you, Brother Harry;

If you would be willing to do as many of the photos as you can, I will forward you the money as soon as you get the pictures back to me. We really need the hen picture, as the hen is the most sacred of all fowl. From the hen, all life springs forth, and in that sense, she is a god-like creature. In that picture, if you'll hold her about stomach-high, facing away from you, fairly close to your stomach (remember, the hen is sacred, and should be held close, like a loved one) with the sign at your feet, the Church would be most grateful.

The end result should be a nice warm and wet feeling, especially if the hen is nice and nervous Twisted Evil

Quote:

I have looked through Father Joes' records, and I cannot seem to find your details in them. Could you send them again, please?

As soon as you send the photo and your details, I will send you the Moneygram receipt.

Bless you, Dr. Harry - If you come through for the Church, you could be in line for a Sainthood!

Father Frank Lassard
Church of the Holy High Rollers

Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 12:05 am

The next day rolls around, and the Lad is still as pushy as ever. Something tells me, this one is going to be HARD to burn!

Quote:

Good day to you father Frank,
Father i would want to thank
for your mail and say i am greatful,Well about the details
you are asking for i dont know about it i would want you to
tell me about it through mail and the pictures will be
ready in a while ,but remember that i and the children are
going through so many changes i would want you and my
fellow brother's to please me asist me with some financial
grant i dont mind how small the amount is, please i beg of
you we have to feed , and pay our bills this is something
that i do alone bear with us i beg you in the name of God.

YOUR'S SINCERELY,

DR.HARRY CHARLES.

Translation; the Lad is going to give the photo, but he's pushing hard for a taste of the money.

Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 12:06 am

Naturally, the Good Father decides to reply and attempt to straighten the lad out once more�

Quote:

Blessings to you on this fine day, Brother Harry!

We here at the Church are truly pleased that you are going to help us with the photo that we so desperately need. You don't realise how much this will help save our Festival.

As for the money, I have it right here in front of me, but I still need the City, State, and name of the person that will be picking up the payment in order to send the payment out. As soon as you give me that information, I can send you the payment.

As soon as you send me that information, I will send you the payment.

Father Frank Lassard
Church of the Holy High Rollers

Will the Lad cough up the picture (and, in the course of the photo shooting, get 'baptised, barnyard style')? Stay tuned!

Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 7:32 pm

The next day, and Father Frank gets a response, not once, but twice. This lad is persistent!

Quote:

Good father Frank,
Thank you for your mail,Every word was
well assimilated.As regards the photo you so desperatley
need i shall send it when the money has been recieved
here,Because we are poor here and this is an orphanage.i
shall send you the CITY,STATE and NAME of the person that
will pick up the payment by tomorrow.We here are looking
forward to recieve the payment.May God bless you and my
fellow brother's.

YOUR'S SINCERELY,

DR.HARRY CHARLES

I'll give this lad credit; he certianly knows how to tick a person off!

Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:02 am

Before the Good Father has a chance to try out his Pimpin� Hand, he gets this;

Quote:

Good day to you father Frank,
i am very happy for what you
and my fellow brothers want to do for the orphanage,Father
i have sent to you the information needed to send the money
please check your box and get back to me .I would want you
to send to me all the necessary information that will be
used to collect the payment here,May God bless you .

YOUR'S SINCERELY,

DR.HARRY CHARLES

Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:03 am

After checking �the other account� (the boo-boo account of Father Franks�), there was NOTHING there. This lad is overdue for a slap! Twisted Evil

Quote:

Blessings to you on this fine, fine day, Brother Harry!

After driving an hour to check my email account, I do have to say, Brother Harry, I am extremely disappointed. I did not see any emails in it from you at all. Besides, did I not tell you to send _ALL_ emails to _THIS_ email account, Harry? Your incompetence in handling this is making the Church Elders very unhappy Harry. Up to now, I have not told them about your reluctance to help with the photo. If they get wind of how you are refusing to help with our holiday, it's not only your butt, Harry, it's mine too. I put my trust in you to help save our Sacred Animal Festival. If you cause this holiday to fail, not only will I be sent to another Church, but you will be kicked out of the Brotherhood, and, most importantly, your grant money will never be paid out, and the orphans will most assuredly starve.

Short story Harry; pull out the cork and send the information, and the photo, to this email address. As soon as you send me both the information I need, and the photo, I will send you the information you need to collect the payment.

The ball is in your court now, Harry.

Father Frank Lassard
Church of the Holy High Rollers

Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 11:18 pm

Okay, now this lad is starting to reaaaally push buttons... I don't know whether he's just playing dumb, or really is stupid. Time for one last slap, to see if the lad either stops playing cranial proctologist, or wises up and does what the Father says...

Quote:

Good day to you father Frank,i am most delighted about the
mail which you have sent i sent all the names and
necessary information which you where suppose to make
the payment ,But i am very sadened that you have turned me
down this way and the children too,Well i think you and my
fellow brothers dont want to help us any more it's your
call do what ever you wish and mey the lord God blees you.

YOUR'S SINCERELY,

DR.HARRY CHARLES

Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 11:28 pm

The Good Father decides that it�s time to take off the kid gloves, and give this mugu a slap in the nuts�

Quote:

Blessings to you on this fine day, Brother Harry;

I think you have things all wrong, Dr Harry. You see, you have NOT sent the information that you promised. I have driven an hour just to check my email address, and the information you claim to have sent IS NOT THERE. I have re-read ALL emails between you, myself, and the Late Father Joe, and it is not there, either.

Plainly put, Harry, re-send the name of the person, the city, and the state/country to THIS email address, and I will send you the payment. I am still willing to send the payment, only for the welfare of the orphans. Please do not delay in sending that information, Harry, as it is NEEDED to send the payment. It is _THAT_ simple.

After all, use your head, my good man. Western Union NEEDS to know where to send the money to. Therefore, I have to know in order to tell them!

The sooner you return back the name, city, and state, the sooner I can send you the payment. Got it?

After this 100% risk free payment is made, _then_ we'll talk about the photo for the festival. But we must HURRY, as time is of the essence!

Father Frank Lassard
Church of the Holy High Rollers

Will he notice the "100% risk free" in the email? Stay tuned to find out!

Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 2:07 am

Success! The Good Father finally gets the response he's looking for! jump_4_joy

Quote:

Good day father Frank,
i am very happy for your mail, I will
send the infomation to you tomorrow ,it will be the first
thing you will see when you check your mail.

Your's Sincerely,
DR.HARRY CHARLES

Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:28 am

The next day, and not-exactly the first thing in my inbox (I still get a ton of lads!), the Good Father finally gets a list of names� Time for a multiple WU runaround!! Twisted Evil

Quote:

Good day father Frank,
How are you and my fellow brother's may God bless you.Father the names of those that will recieve the payment are the one bellow.
1)JAMES EJIKEME
2)ATHAN NNADOZIE
3)CHIGIZIE ABANIWU
4)ROMANUS NWOGU

TEXT QUESTION.MY MOTHERS NAME
TEXT QUESTION ANSWER.MARY.
COUNTRY:NIGERIA
CITY:LAGOS

The reason why i want the payment to be made to this (4)four people is because there is a law in my country that states any money sent here from overseas that excides $9000 will be withheld because of TERRORISM and DRUG'S so i would advice that the payment be made with the information giving to you by myself ,I made a calculation and arrived at an answer of $8750 be sent to each names .God bless you i will be expecting your mail to give me comfirmation on how to collect the money e.g control number and other info's.

YOUR'S SINCERELY,
DR.HARRY CHARLES

THIS IS MY NEW EMAIL ADDRESS.

Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:30 am

New email account, eh? Old one must�ve gotten deaded (not by me, pity). The question here is, what to do with the four travelers� Lets see� four different WU offices, methinks! happy crowd

Quote:

Blessings to you, Brother Harry!

Thank you for finally supplying the names needed. I will go to the local Western Union office tomorrow morning, before the funeral services for Father Joe commence. Please say a prayer for the Late Father. I will send you the payment numbers as soon as I can.

Father Frank Lassard
Church of the Holy High Rollers

Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 4:36 am

Man, that was fast! The Good Father got a response in record time!

Quote:

Good day father Frank ,
I am very happy with the mail you sent me this fine day ,May God blees you and my fellow brother's ,Father please send the infomation needed to collect the payment here.Like you said i have been saying prayers for the late Father JOE BLOWME may God bless his soul and grant him enternal life ,May God see you through in all your life endevour .
Your's sincerely,
Dr.HARRY CHARLES

And he even spelled the name in the right fashion.. Wonder if he realises it's a funny name yet?

Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 4:37 am

Now that I have him where I want him, lets see if he�ll cough up the chicken picture.

Quote:

Blessings to you on this fine evening, Brother Harry!

Now that we got the little issue of the payment all settled, would you be willing to assist the church with the picture? I will send you the payment information as soon as I can, before the funeral for Father Joe.

Father Frank Lassard
Church of the Holy High Rollers

Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 10:09 am

It seems Dr. Harry didn�t get the details he was so eagerly awaiting!

Quote:

good day to you father Frank,
How are you and my fellow brother's on this fine day and church,I recieved your mail yesterday and was hoping to recieve another one today concerening the information on how to collect the payment please mail as soon as you have made the payment with all the necessary info on how to collect,The children are staving and as soon as i recieve the payment here i will send you the picture's thank's again father Frank may God bless you.

Your's Sincerely'

Dr.HARRY CHARLES

Wait till you see what Father Frank has in store for this mugu... Twisted Evil

But before that, Harry has to wait another 36 hours or so (monday evening), because Joes' Funeral is taking alot longer than expected...

Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 11:38 pm

The next day, and the Lad is getting EXTREMELY pushy!

Quote:

Good day to you father Frank on this beautiful day ,
Father i am happy fot the good work you are doing to help me with the grant ,as i recieve the payment i will send you the picture ,bless you kind soul.

Your's Sincerely'
Dr.Harry Charles.

That stilll isn't changing my plans - This lad is going to wait until monday evening, and then he is going to get the slap of a lifetime for being impatient. Wink

edit: anyone have ideas/suggestions on how to get the picture out of him? I _really_ want to see this sucker struggle with a hen Twisted Evil

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