Don't give up: Update 22 Jan., lad returns for more slapping

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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 4:56 pm

This just keeps getting better. clapping

When he reads this he will:

1) Change his soiled pants
2) Pack
3) Run
4) Keep running

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 4:58 pm

This is a thing of beauty.

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:02 pm

I love it

Church of Holy Moly, I salute you Smile

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:22 pm

An odd and short response from the lad. I have to believe he's literally speechless:

Quote:

Dear Esteemed Bishop,

I have nothing to say but to just await your email message again.

Ikem

Well, okay. It's BOMBS AWAY time. This final slap. If he has even a shred of genuine religious belief, perhaps this will shame him thoroughly. I can only hope so.

Quote:

My Dear Son Mike,

As I sit here to write you it is with a very heavy heart and profound sadness. It is difficult to find the words needed to express the depths of my disappointment in you. I trusted you. I believed in you. And now I find that you are not only a murderer, but also a common thief. No, not a common thief, but a thief infused with such evil that you are most uncommon, for you are the Devil�s own brother.

Many weeks ago you told Sister Percize (may God be kind to her in her time of darkness) that Brother Chukwa was ill and that you had been assigned to take his place. You even told her that the Brother�s baptismal name was Patrick, which was untrue. Well, as it happens I heard from Brother Chukwa this morning. Brother Chukwa was not ill, nor was he in the hospital as you claimed. He had to leave abruptly and travel to Ghana to care for his dying mother, God rest her soul, and during his time in his ancestral village he was unable to communicate with us. Now that he has returned to his duties he contacted me with his apologies and asked if we were ready to move forward with the orphanage project. To say that I was shocked would hardly be adequate to describe my surprise.

We communicated by telephone for over an hour, and the Blessed Brother filled me in on everything that was happening. Of course we talked about you. Of course he has never heard of you.

I asked him to do some research. He just called me back, only moments ago. He explained to me that you are a common scammer, a thief, a practitioner of a peculiarly modern form of crime which is called �419� in your own country. Quite uncharacteristically for the usually soft-spoken Brother, he called for a pox upon you and your descendants for 12 generations to come. He even called upon heathen gods to smite you for your crimes. He swears upon the grave of his recently deceased mother that he will see to it that you condemned to die a most excruciating, horrifying death, whether by prayer to our Christian god or entreaties to heathen witch doctors of your society.

I confess that I was sorely tempted to join the Brother in his vehement and violent attacks upon your nefarious character. But I am going to take a higher road. Instead, I am going to pray for your lost soul, although I fear that it is far too late for you. Your crimes have almost certainly condemned you to roast in the deepest recesses of Hell for all eternity.

And what horrible crimes they are. I bow my head in shame for even listening to your lies. I fail to understand how any human being could willingly steal money from another, but it is especially hard to understand how someone could invoke the name of our Savior as he takes that money. Have you not read Exodus 20:15? �Thou shalt not steal.� Could anything be more clear than that? You professed to be a deeply religious man, but in reality you have used our own religion against us.

What pains me the most is that it was not our money you were trying to steal. No, it was money belonging to the destitute orphans of your own country. It was your own family�s children whose money you coveted. It was the future of your own society that you were trying to rob. There is no way I could condone theft in any form, but to steal from innocent children is unquestionably the lowest, vilest, most evil form of theft that could exist. Stealing money from children while invoking God�s name. Could anything be more loathsome than that? Could any human being be more loathsome than you?

And to think that I put my trust in you. I put my confidence in you. I believed in you. I listened to your words of piety and love for the Lord. All were lies. You were using me, you were using all of us. You have brought the devil into our midst. You helped to murder Brother Percize and destroyed their family. You abused the sacred trust of Mrs. Percize and persuaded her to do your nefarious will.

It is because of you that my own heart has been broken into shards, that I shall never be able to trust anyone again.

Have you no shame? No honor? No sense of common decency, of humanity? How can you speak of the Lord in the same breath as you ask for money that is not yours? How can you take food from the hands of sick children, children of your own family? How can you conspire to kill another man?

I have seen much evil in my many long years. I have confronted the devil on more occasions that I can count. But never, never have I encountered such evil as I see in you. You are the vilest, most nefarious, most dissolute, most sinful man I have ever known. You are, alas, beyond redemption. I pray that you can handle the torments of Hell, for you will be enduring them for all eternity.

God rest your evil, condemned soul. You are the spawn of the devil. May your flesh be consumed by maggots and your soul be ripped to shreds by the devil�s minions. You are lost, beyond redemption. You are the scum of the earth, and I rue the day I first heard your name. Go crawl back under the rock from which you came, and never bother honest people again.

Bishop Wimberly MacNughette

Bye-bye, Mike. Have a nice life......

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:38 pm

Juan, I forgive you all the sprout references, that was great! Laughing

One of the finest burns I have read here. Excellent work! Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:05 pm

Juan:

That...was...AWESOME.

It brought a tear to my eye. Crying or Very sad

Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 8:01 pm

Incredibly enough, after licking his wounds the idiot came back for another slap. Or two to be precise. His reply to my condemnation was short:

Quote:

Sir,

Why don't you sincerely search through your heart before you judge others?

Ikem

Search through MY heart?? WTF????? Who's the thief here? The Bishop wrote back in character:

Quote:

My son,

I fail to understand your comment. I search my heart daily, and have for over 70 years. I am honest to my God and my brethren. But you are not. Do you deny that you have misrepresented yourself? Do you deny that you lied to all of us about Brother Chukwa and your position as his replacement? Do you deny that you were attempting to take money under false pretenses, knowing full well that it was destined for the orphans? Do you honestly expect me to believe such prevarications in light of the blinding truth that dear Brother Chukwa has presented? Your crimes have been laid bare. Your secrets are revealed to the world. We can now see you for what you truly are -- a sinner, a criminal, a murderer.

You desperately need to search your own soul, my son. You have strayed down the path of sin and have become blind to the evils which you are perpetrating on others. You are stealing without remorse. You are killing without remorse. You are apparently deceiving even yourself into believing that what you are doing is not immoral or illegal. You have abandoned your God, your honor, your humanity.

I do not judge you, I pity you.

Bishop Wimberley MacNughette

So, round two of the slapfest goes to the Bishop. Mike wasn't even in the running, but he comes back AGAIN with the exact same inane non-excuse for his actions:

Quote:

let us all search our heart and let nature take it's course.

I still hold you in high esteem if truly you are a Bishop: Of the Lords Order

Mike

Well, I've had more than enough of this pointless whining. It's round three, over and out for the lad:

Quote:

I see no point in continuing a dialogue with you. We both know that you are a liar and a thief. You have made no attempt to deny it, nor could you. You have chosen your path, you shall pay the price: eternal damnation.�I grieve for your lost soul. You are beyond the help of man. May God be merciful and show you the path of righteousness before it is too late.

Bishop Wimberley MacNughette

The little weasel still believes in the Bishop and doesn't want to be judged by him, but he's helpless. There's no way he can defend himself. He's turned into a pathetic little boy whimpering in a corner.

Correction -- he's always been a pathetic little boy....

I'm not religious myself but I hope that I've succeeded in using a believable religious character to shame him completely. At least, for once, here's a lad who isn't putting on airs trying to pretend he's legitimate even after he's been found out.

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