Another New "Goofy Crap your Pets Wrote" Thread

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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2018 2:47 am

I posted "preadice" some years ago, but here it is again:

Quote:

DATE OF PREADICE: 24/10/18

Quote:

THIS IS TO CERTIFY THAT THE AMOUNT OF ***** US$10.500 000.00 HAS BEEN APPROVED TO PAY TO THE BELLOW STATED BENEFICIARY

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2018 8:53 am

By itself, not too damning:

Quote:

JERRY BECK
ATM Card Officer
Bay Credit Union
Please call me

Except that he didn't include a phone number.

Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2018 10:55 pm

I HAVE GOOD NEWS TO SHEAR WITH YOU.

(or shear me with)

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 2:13 pm

From a lad I've stopped responding to, because I'm trying to get piggies, and he has quit supplying piggies:

Quote:

the bank directors come in a conclusion that you have to make a payment of $675 usd for the release of the money so that you can help your daughter to get a new house, so you are advise to send the money through any of the following means of transfer

Annette doesn't have a daughter, and I never said anything about a new house.

Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2018 8:11 pm

Quote:

Ultimately, the handful success of this transaction came with the support and assistance even at the most crucial time. At present, I am in Dubia for a forest and agricultural development.

If Dubia is a place, it's the land of uncertainty.

Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2018 6:47 am

From a piggy:

Quote:

Routine number ... kcblkenx

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 10:00 pm

It's good news for... somebody:

Quote:

Attention: FIRSTNAME LASTNAME,
With respect to the provision Section 17 of decree 114 of the 1999 constitution, I was directed to inform you that your payment verification and confirmations is "OK".

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2019 11:47 am

From one of the Lads in a current massbait:

Quote:

Mind your world and stop insulating me

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 4:58 am

From the subject of an email from the UN Sec Gen:

"2019 Revolution of Your Approved Payment"

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

Nigerian scammer discussing when his lawyer character would announce his fee of thousands of dollars. I think he meant "bomb shell" but bum shell works too considering what he is full of.

Quote:

It was then I noticed it and gave him the bum-shell.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 15 Oct 2018 Posts: 61

Dying widow

Quote:

Please leave no stone untold in this endeavor, this fund is all i have left and it will be very very suicidal if you betray my trust and allow my bankers confiscate the fund. May God bless you and remain your shield.

She’s dying anyway, why she care about being suicidal? Rolling Eyes

Not quite a Newb Joined: 15 Oct 2018 Posts: 61

All in one sentence Wink

and only using one comma!

Quote:

Thank you very much for your response meanwhile i want you to know that it will be my pleasure to see you in turkey so that we can finalize this transaction without hurdles meanwhile i have been very busy with work and i could not have the time to send you my working ID since i do not have scanner in my house, i will scan my working id and send to you tomorrow and please i want you to know that this transaction has been packaged in a professional way to benefit the both of us involved and as soon as i send you my ID i hope you will also send yours so that i can start the programing of your information in our computer networking data base processing unit.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 15 Oct 2018 Posts: 61

Quote:

DISCLAIMER: If you are NOT the intended recipient and you receive this message by mistake either electronically or mechanically, kindly delete it from your list or notify the Pacific Western Bank by Email:

Posted: Fri Mar 29, 2019 12:02 am

Quote:

Am serious about it and I asked you if you received payment confirmation from my bank?
Check your inbox or sperm and get back to me as soon as possible...
Thanks

This only accounts from one response from me ofcourse

Quote:

No I didn't receive it and there's nothing in my sperm

Posted: Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:03 am

Quote:

BRITISH CIVIL OVATION AUTHORITY

That gives a new meaning to "complementary service."

Posted: Thu Apr 18, 2019 12:25 am

DHL Ghana are an ambitious crowd - they seem to be planning for deliveries on other planets:

Quote:

DESCRIPTION OF PARCEL:
ATM/Visa Card/Original Certificate of Weight :—-–0.20kg
Bonded Draft of Weight :————----------------—-—0.17kg
Total Weight of Parcel :————---------—--------—-–0.37kg
Color of Parcel :———————------------------——-Dark Brown
Length of Days :———————---------------———-24hours
Delivery Type:————————----------------——--Premium Service
Delivery Status:————————---------------—-—Virtual Pending
Customer Number:——————--------------—-—-–FRAl45771001

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 10 Apr 2019 Posts: 8

Who knew my mayor had such power and that I "are been" watched?

Quote:

We have warned you so many times and you have decided to ignore our
e-mails or because you believe we have not been instructed to get you
arrested and today if you fail to respond back to us with the payment
details below,then we would first send a letter to the MAYOR of the
city where you reside and direct them to close your bank account until
you have been jailed and all your properties will be confiscated by
the FBI,CIA and other enforcement agency. We would also send a letter
to the company/agency that you are working for so that they could get
you fired until we are through with our investigations because a
suspect is not suppose to be working for the government or any private
organization... , so be warned not to try any
thing funny because you are been watched.

Posted: Thu Apr 18, 2019 10:07 pm

^ That is Awesome. Thanks for the laugh!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 10 Apr 2019 Posts: 8

It's no joke. Robert Mueller CC'd all this to the following: They do love their acronyms.

FBI Assistant Director Mike Kortan
ON BEHALF OF THE FBI DIRECTOR
MR. JAMES COMEY.
Director Federal Bureau of Investigation
CC: Canadian Police Association
CC: GENERAL INTELLIGENCE DEPARTMENT (GID)
CC: Asia Pacific Group on Money Laundering (APG)
CC: Egmont Group
CC: FEDERAL BURUEA OF INVESTIGATION (FBI USA)
CC: European Bank for Reconstruction and Development (EBRD)
CC: Financial Action Task Force (FATF)
CC: International Monetary Fund (IMF)
CC: International Organization of Securities Commissions (IOSCO)
CC: International Banking Security Association (IBSA)
CC: International Air Transport Association (IATA)
CC: Institut de Formation Interbancaire (INSIG)
CC: World Customs Organization (WCO)
CC: Inter-American Development Bank (IADB)
CC: Offshore Group of Banking Supervisors (OGBS)
CC: WORLD CENTRAL BANK (SW)
CC: NIGERIA POLICE FORCE (NPF)
CC: NORTH YORKSHIRE POLICE (UK)(???????)
CC: ECONOMIC FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC

Posted: Thu May 02, 2019 2:15 pm

Received this one from a banker after I asked her for some proof of her identity:

Quote:

This is getting harder than I think.

Posted: Thu May 02, 2019 8:57 pm

^^ Christopher Wray has a shorter list of acronyms in his CC list compared to Robert Mueller, but there's one "recipient" that got my attention:

CC: ( CIA) Central Intelligence Agency Mills Bryan
CC: Department Of Justice ( DOJ )
CC: Homeland Security Council (HSC )
CC: General Intelligence Department (GID)
CC: Internet Crime Complaint Center (ICCC)
CC: Asia Pacific Group on Money Laundering (APG)
CC: International Monetary Fund (IMF)
CC: International Organization of Securities Commissions (IOSCO)
CC: Air Force of Zimbabwe (AFZ)
CC: World Customs Organization (WCO)
CC: National Central Bureau (NCB)

Posted: Sat May 04, 2019 2:05 pm

According to Mrs Zaina Ahmed of the Nigerian Ministry of Finance, banks have a mating season, and it's properly organised:

Quote:

Bank Information Including you Bank Account Number , Swift Code and Rutting Number.

Posted: Mon May 06, 2019 8:47 pm

I decided to check in on a lad of mine (https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=260207&highlight=)

(mind you: it has been over four years since we last have emailed)

Quote:

The so called brotherhood is a sham and scam so please stop deceiving yourself
Please I am not interested in this demonic and devilish brotherhood. Write me no further and I will ensure this conversations between us gets to CNN, NBC and other media houses

Isn't there an icon if you get media coverage? Any special one if it's a major network?

Posted: Tue May 07, 2019 1:30 am

Quote:

Due to the Internet Error, If You Got This Mail As Junk, Please Click It To Inbox.

I've seen a few variations on that, and they all seem sorta pathetic.

Posted: Wed May 08, 2019 9:53 pm

From my catcher

Subject wrote:

Fw: WAS IT TRUE THAT YOU ARE DEAD TODAY THEN MAY YOUR GENTLE SOUL REST IN PERFECTLY PEACE IF IT IS TRUE THAT YOU ARE DEAD.‏

Quote:

I AM SORRY TO TELL YOU IF THIS IT'S NOT TRUE.

eeeh...thanks?

Quote:

I AM VERY SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE KNOW MORE TO BE FOUND ON EARTH AND I DON'T KNOW THAT THIS IS THE REASON WHY YOU HAVE NOT REPLY THE EMAILS I SENT TO YOU REGARDING THE TRANSFERRING OF YOUR FUND.THIS IS MY PROMISE TO YOU THAT I AM GOING TO DO EVERYTHING WITHIN MY POWER TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR FUND IS BE TRANSFER TO HIM AS YOUR NEXT OF KIN BENEFICIAL TO YOU MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE AND MAY GOD GRATE YOU INTERNAL LIFE ON THE LAST DAY TO COME I AM VERY VERY SORRY.

Quote:

THESE ARE YOUR FUNERAL PICTURES HE SUBMITTED TO ME AS THE FINAL CEREMONY OF YOUR BURIAL.

(pics are from Luciano Pavarotti's funeral)

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