Loan Help LOL

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 26 Jun 2018 Posts: 36

Alright guys, This dude is absolute GOLD! Pure hilarity. Its a long one, but worth it! enjoy!

Summary: In the first 2 sections, I pretend to be a proffesional video game designer looking to expand and I need a loan. Then in the third section, I manage to drag him back in as a failing restaurateur, once again in need of loan! This one is ongoing, and I will post further developments.

So heres the full transcript!

Cordon Ramsies = CR Robert Bruce = RB

CR: Hi I am cordon I an failed restraint, I can need 2nd mortgage on restraint and bank w ont give no loan me Sad

can help me?

RB: We offer loans. How did you get my e-mail ?

CR: My friend said you could help!

RB: Hello,
I can help i want to be sure of who you are before i can proceed with details of the loan because i some e-mail hackers contacted me and wanted to hack my system give me your phone number and where you are located i will call you and if you are close to me i will locate you.

CR: Hackers? I'm pretty good wt compeutors, maybe I can help. Here's my phone number. 415 549 4206. Me restraint is in California. It called giovvani's pizzarriah

RB: Why are you not taking your calls ?

CR: Sorry I am baking, I will call back in a bit

RB: You see ? you can send message and you can't take calls lol

CR: Ok I can take a call, but just real quick. Call me again I'll answer

RB: You are not taking my call Bye

CR: They're not coming up. Hold on a sec

CR: Is my calls not cumming thru?

RB: Is fine i just wanted to hear your voice How much are you interested in getting as a loan ?

CR: I need it bad! It is very important. Allah would bless me if you give loan?

RB: I will help you. How much are you interested in getting as a loan ?

CR: In short, I need a 10 year fixed 200 thousand dollar

RB: Okay i will send you the terms

CR: Tank yu sorry my phone has crack screen. Look at this I screenshot it

RB: It is ridiculous cracked

(I sent an image of my phone screenshot with a nude tranny as my background - dont worry, no identifying details)

RB: Why are you sending me this ? are you gay ?

CR: ...yeah, but I still need business. Did you see all the cracks

RB: No i did not see any crack

RB: Bye you are not a serious person

CR: What? No I'm very serious I'm sorry I thought you could tell by voice I gay

RB: Why will you use such a picture as your screen saver ?

CR: I honest 4got, it's just a picture I like...i m ashamed Sad

RB: I am not sure you are responsible.

CR: I am trying Sad

it's my restaint draining me. I need this

RB: Can you work with a loan of $30 for a start?

CR: To prove you, I'll help you get hacked for free. I am good with pc. Who is hack you?

CR: 30 thousand?

RB: Yes

CR: I can...as long I get full one later

RB: Note you will pay upfront fee.

CR: Right, down pay how much it? Can you reduce if I catch hacker?

RB: I don't know why i don't trust you.

CR: You don't have 2...ill catch for you I swar

RB: why will you send me a picture when i did not request for it ? And in the picture i see no crack in the screen. my friend bye

CR: I was trying shoe u why I type bad, I had dumbd moment thinking I catch cracks with screenshot

RB: I will send you the terms

CR: Alright, I wait

RB: Why will you be a gay ?

CR: I don't know...my mother do not love me for it

RB: Hello ,
Loan terms is calculated for the amount of $30,000.00. In this e-mail the terms is stated below. I will lend to you the sum of $30,000.00 that you requested as a loan for 4 years. I guess you will be OK with the loan duration and the loan interest 3%.
****************************** **************
LOAN REPAYMENT SCHEDULE:
****************************** **************
The loan repayment will be made on a monthly basis which consist of the Principal loan amount and interest together. Like it's written, the loan duration/period is for 4 years ( 48 months).
Loan Balance: $30,000.00
Adjusted Loan Balance: $30,000.00
Loan Interest Rate: 3.00%
Loan Fees: 0.00%
Loan Term: 4 years
Minimum Payment: $0.00
Monthly Loan Payment: $664.03
Number of Payments: 48
Cumulative Payments: $31,873.43
Total Interest Paid: $1,873.43
Note: The monthly loan payment was calculated at 47 payments of $664.03 plus a final payment of $664.02.
Loan Payment Option
I want you to know that your loan will be transferred to you through one of this transfer options.
1 Bank to bank transfer (option), this transfer will require your bank account information and the loan will be transferred into your bank account.
2 Pay check transfer (option) this process will require your residential address the check will be sent to you and you will have to cash the check in a bank.
3 Couriers delivering (option) this process goes this way you will have to send your residential address, and the loan money ( in cash) will be sent to you as a package.
You will have to decide which of the payment option you will like for your loan transfer.
4 The loan can be transferred to you through western union or money gram.
Rules and Regulation of the Loan.
{ 1 } The applicant will start the repayment of loan six 6 months after the loan has been transferred to him/her.
{ 2 } Failure to pay back the loan at this expected date/period, legal actions will be taken against the applicant by our attorney immediately.
{ 3 } Applicant who is unable to meet with the repayment will be given 2 weeks more as a grace period before legal actions will be taken.
This information stated below are requested:
LOAN APPLICATION FORM
Name(Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., etc.)
First name:
Middle name:
Last name:
Date of birth (yyyy-mm-dd):
Gender:
Marital status:
Address
Monthly income:
Purpose of loan:
Borrower's Occupation:
Credit Score:
City:
State/province:
Zip/postal code:
Country:
Phone:
Fax:e-mail :
Mobile/cellular:
Regards

Robert Bruce
+1201-746-4074

CR: I think I do option 2. I will feel this out now

CR: First name: cordon

Middle name: tastegood

Last name: ramsies

Date of birth (yyyy-mm-dd): June 20, 1975

Gender: Male

Marital status: Single

Address: 3101 John Fitzgerald Kennedy Blvd, North Bergen

Monthly income: $ 5,257.00

Purpose of loan: To repay restraint debt

Borrower's Occupation: restainieur

Credit Score: 698

City: Secaucus

State/province: New Jersey

Zip/postal code: 07094

Country: America

Phone: 415 549 4206

Fax:e-mail : cordon ramsies

Mobile/cellular: 415 549 4206

CR: So you email me when information is processed???

RB: Good i am in New Jersey will be better you located me and i see you in ground.

CR: Ok, where in New J r u me friend?

RB: West Milford

CR: What your address? I will rid my bike ther

RB: Ride a bike to West Milford not too far ?

CR: It might take a day but that ok

RB: I am open restraint I be slow reply for a few hour

CR: Hello,

I got the e-mail that contained the filled loan application form, the loan repayment will start after 6 months the loan was transferred, there is no prepayment penalty (you can complete the payment before the due time) once we are through with the processing of the loan ( loan approval and Loan closing process ) the loan will be transferred to you within 5 working days.
Firstly let me introduce myself my name is Robert Bruce me and my partner Teresa Jeanne we work with Gulf Investment Finance our financials are located in UAE we represent the loan firm in USA we are using out new resident for our office for now address: 1709 Macopin Road West Milford, NJ 07480 UNITED STATES If you are not comfortable with doing this transaction on-line, you can located us with the address i stated to enable you see us face to face and sign the loan contract.
With the information you provided, after our review, you are approved of a loan of 30,000.00 The company shall place a hard cover note on the loan to guarantee you that the exact amount you requested for as loan ( $30,000.00 ) will be transferred
You are required to make a payment for the loan closing cost for the loan transaction that is the expenses that will be incurred while we are securing the loan, if you still want to move forward, let me know and the fee must be paid after we must have signed the necessary loan papers (loan agreement document) the funds is ready once we have conclude the loan process the transfer will be initiated.
In more details loan closing cost In America most loan company including our company request a fees before transfer of loans i will explain to you in details:

Loan closing cost includes Loan Application Fees, Points, Appraisal Fees and Legal fee
Loan Application Fees, paid by the borrower to the lender, to cover the costs of processing their loan application. In some cases, the borrower would pay the lender the application directly and prior to closing, while in other cases the fee is part of the borrowers closing costs payable at closing.

Points, paid by the borrower to the lender. Points are a form of pre-paid interest, charged by the lender as an alternative to charging a higher rate of interest on the loan. One point equals one percent of the loan principal, and usually reduces the interest rate by 1/8% (0.125).

Appraisal Fees, usually paid by the borrower [citation needed] charged by a licensed professional Appraiser. Many lenders will require that an appraisal be performed as a condition of the loan. The purpose of this appraisal is to verify the interest of the loan (upon which the underwriting of the loan is based) is equal to or less than the fair market value of loan percentage interest .[1]

Paying closing costs — miscellaneous fees such as your lender for processing the loan, the title company for (legal fees) handling the paperwork.

The loan closing cost for a loan of $30,000 to close the loan will cost $470
This is called a "Good Faith Estimate" ("GFE"). If they don't give it to you, ask for it. Then, the day before the closing, the company is to send you the loan contract (loan agreement letter) before you make the payment of the loan closing cost.

Note that if in the unlikely case I fail to transfer the loan within 24 hours of you making the payment, I will be compelled to compensate you hence the more reason why I will see to it and make sure the transfer of funds is on schedule.
I will advise you send the necessary information accurately to ensure fast processing of the loan and I want to assure you that if you give me the maximum co-operation that I need we can close the loan within 5 business days.
You are requested to send a scan copy of your identity Card for verification.
Attached to this e-mail is a scan copy of my Identity card and my SSN also with Teresa Jeanne's own.
I will be waiting on your email and have a pleasant day.
Thank you
(NOTE THAT THIS GUY SENT ME 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE'S DRIVER'S LICENSES AND SOCIAL SECURITY CARDS IN THIS EMAIL - AGAIN!.)

CR: Thank u so mooch my good friend, I will get you my scanned copy this evening sometime, then we can arrange a meeting time and place

RB: okay.

CR: Will yu need anything else

CR: Her is my pic ID.

(Here I sent a drawing of a bird with a giant human penis)

CR: Oh god sorry I clikd the wrong 1. It tis one

(Here I sent a crude cordon ramsies drivers license)

CR: Can we sign on the loan now?

RB: Why will you send me a useless picture ? Are you serious ? If you are a gay can you not keep it to your self ?

CR: No man I clik wong photo by missteak

RB: Fine don't try that again to me. The loan agreement contract will be sent to you on Monday. You are to sign and send me a scan copy of the loan agreement letter.
Again get ready to pay the loan closing cost (470) before the loan will be sent to you.

CR: Alright that ok. Do we still meet up?

RB: Don't worry about the meeting I trust you now.

CR: Ok god! Tank you verry muuch

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2018 5:56 pm

Noah115, welcome to eater. I've removed the link to your facebook community. Please note this rule...

Quote:

We do not permit advertising of other websites or business interests, fund raising, or recruiting for other internet forums, whether baiter-related or not. Exceptions are made in rare circumstances. Please contact a Moderator or Admin for further information.

Like most internet forums, we are pretty quick to remove external links, especially when in the first few posts from a new member. I encourage you to stick around and, if you like, please continue to post your baits, but not with the external community linking.

If you want to upload screenshots/images there are several good programs for that including https://postimages.org/ and http://tinypic.com/

Not quite a Newb Joined: 26 Jun 2018 Posts: 36

Oh ok I'll do that, i did it this way only because there's like 24 screenshots lol

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2018 6:34 pm

I totally understand. Try the postimg link. It allows you to upload multiple images at once. If you're posting to show up on the forum just click the option to resize to 600px wide max. If they won't be readable that small just upload them full size and then you can link to the gallery which will allow folks to page though them all in order. Hope this helps. I tend to post a lot of screenshots myself so if you have any questions feel free to PM.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 26 Jun 2018 Posts: 36

Alright! I will do that after my dinner! Thanks for the advice. Sorry I feel like I broke like 5 rules already

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2018 7:46 pm

Don't worry about it at all. You'll find folks around here are friendly and happy to help. Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 26 Jun 2018 Posts: 36

I'm getting this all organised now! This guy is RIDICULOUS