Oh no..not another beginner's straight bait

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Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:15 pm

Hi folks,

So despite being here many moons ago and mainly just reading baits, I've recently come back and, having been mentored by Justcold, have got a grip of things and am part of the Long Walk Bootcamp thread (which requires a bait posted here). Recently I've had quite a few decent baits running. I've had close but failed attempts at trophy pics as well as other assorted fun including various forms filled in, but all in all I've mainly just been straight baiting to get a good grounding before I try anything more elaborate.

What follows is probably not my most impressive bait, but it is the one that I've enjoyed most. Mainly this is because I've brought the Lenny bot phone character to life.

The bait started out as me harvesting easy bank details, again for the long walk thread. I sent out a generic e-mail to numerous lads and waited for the bank accounts to follow. This particular bait developed from there. My character is called Dick. The lad doesn't actually tell me his name for a long while, so I've called him Bank, seeing as though he's masquerading as one.

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

What is taking you so long? I have the money ready but I'm still waiting for you to provide me with bank details. I know you said it might take you a few days to get the details to me, but I want to get this money sent quickly so that I can get my prize money.

Please provide me with bank details so I can transfer the $17,000 and claim my prize money as soon as possible.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

HERE IS THE BANK DETAILS SO THAT YOU CAN SEND THE $17,000 QUICKLY SO THAT YOU WILL RECEIVE YOUR PRIZE MONEY

*snipped first piggy details

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I have been to the bank and tried to send the money today. However, when the clerk went to make the payment she said that there is a problem with the receiver's bank account. She said that she couldn't offer any more information but that the payment wouldn't go through.

Is there a problem with this bank account? I want to get this money sent asap.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

wait at the bank for some time ok why i verify the bank account problem

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I will be going back to the bank tomorrow if you have a working bank account.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

CAN YOU BE ABLE TO SEND IT THROUGH MONEY GRAM AND WESTERN UNION? SO
THAT I WILL GIVE YOU THE CORRECT INFORMATION TO USE TO SEND IT THROUGH
MONEY GRAM AND WESTERN UNION OFFICE? WESTERN UNION AND MONEY GRAM
WILL MAKE THE TRANSACTION TO BE FASTER,

At this point he sends me a number of further emails. 8 minutes after the previous one I get

Bank wrote:

Quote:

CAN YOU BE ABLE TO SEND IT THROUGH MONEY GRAM AND WESTERN UNION? SO
THAT I WILL GIVE YOU THE CORRECT INFORMATION TO USE TO SEND IT THROUGH
MONEY GRAM AND WESTERN UNION OFFICE? WESTERN UNION AND MONEY GRAM
WILL MAKE THE TRANSACTION TO BE FASTER OR YOU WAIT WHILE I GET YOU
AVALID BANK ACCOUNT FIRST THING TOMOROW MORNING

An hour later I get

Bank wrote:

Quote:

I HAVE JUST CORRECTED THE MISTAKE
HERE IS THE CORRECT BANK DETAILS SO THAT YOU CAN SEND THE $17,000
QUICKLY SO THAT YOU WILL RECEIVE YOUR PRIZE MONEY

*snipped exact same bank details as before

After that I get the same bank details emailed to me over and over again, about 10 times in all

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

That is the same account that they told me they can't send the money to. They said there was a problem with that account. What do you mean when you say that you have corrected the mistake?

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

YES IT THE SAME ACCOUNT I MISSED ONE NUMBER ON THE IBAN CODE THAT WHY
THE BANK SAID THAT THE ACCOUNT IS NOT GOOD, I HAVE CORRECTED IT,

Lies

Bank wrote:

Quote:

WHEN YOU GO TO THE BANK TOMOROW IS THEY STILL SAY THE SAME THING THEN
I WILL EMAIL YOU ANOTHER ACCOUNT DETAIL

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

OK I will go tomorrow and send the money.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

Email me once you sent the $17,000 to the acount i gave to you.

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I have just got back from the bank and have had the same problem. The money wouldn't go through to the receiver's account. Please provide an alternative account and I may be able to get back to the bank today. Otherwise I will have to wait until tomorrow to go back to the bank and send the money.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

Ok here is another account united kingdom

*snipped second piggy details

Bank wrote:

Quote:

Have you gone to send the $17,000

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I have been busy grouting all day so haven't got to the bank.

I will try and go tomorrow with the details you have provided.

Thanks,
Dick

He then sends me an email, probably meant for another victim

Bank wrote:

Quote:

Attn:

Hello My Friend,A man named Mr. Coleman Miller Nobles of 2705 US 70 West, Morganton NC 28655 United state of America show up to my office as your next of kin. He claimed that you are dead. Right now I want to hear from you immediately and to know if you actually authorize Coleman to pay the pending charges and claim your funds of $8 Million.

Get back to me for clarifications.

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I don't think I am dead although I can't confirm it without a third party present.

I am now confused by this whole process. You keep sending me bank details and then changing them, as well as sending me strange messages not related to my transaction.

At this point I am going to need some proof that you are not a fraud star before continuing. I need you to prove that you are a genuine person, not somebody out to cheat me out of my money.

Thanks,
Dick

He then seems to get me mixed up with yet another victim and sends me another starter email (not included below) with a different format. At this point I have about 6 different email threads going with him, and he seems to choose at random which one to reply to which makes keeping track of the scenario quite difficult. After that I receive a scanned copy of bank details in French with an instruction to send $17,000. So that's the third piggy. We rejoin the action a few emails later after yet another request to send the money.

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I already replied to your email. I have told you that I will not proceed further until I have some proof that you are not a fraud star. You keep changing the bank that I should use to send you the money as well as sending me strange emails. There is a lot of trust involved in me sending you $17,000 and you have confused and concerned me. I am not happy and need some proof that you are who you say you are before we proceed.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

I received your email , there is no confusion on this regarding to the
bank account i gave to you. Hence,i would like to have your valid
phone number so that i can be able to explain to you very well because
we dont have much time to delay on this again. Waiting to hear from
you.

At this point I abandon the thoughts of a trophy pic and decide to introduce uncle Lenny instead

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

My uncle is going to be sending the money for me. He is called Lenny. Please call him and explain what he needs to do.

His telephone number is *snipped Lenny's number*

I have told him to expect a call.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

Hello
how are you doing? This mail is to inform you that we have been trying
to reach you on the phone number you provided to us.

Note: we have called but it fails to connect,so call our able office
with this valid phone number now for more explanations on your funds.(+229 98663826)

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

The telephone number I gave you is definitely working. I have just called my uncle now and the line was fine. He has an alternative number which is *snipped Lenny's second number* which is also working because I have just called him to confirm it. He is waiting for your call now.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

This is to inform you that you should let your uncle to know that he
should call our office immediately for more prove. Listen, i want to
instruct you to go ahead and make the payment with the bank
information i gave you because it's legal. So you don't have to delay
on this again so that you will receive your funds immediately.

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

What is going on? Why have you asked for my telephone number and then not called it? My uncle told me that he never received any call. He was waiting up most of the night and is very annoyed.

Thanks,
Dick

An hour and a half later..

Bank wrote:

Quote:

Hello. This is to inform you that i have just spoke with your uncle
now on phone so i will like to have his email address so that we can
talk better. Get back to us immediately as you are delaying on this
funds.

Waiting to hear from you and to update to us with the fee today so
that we will proceed further.

Now at this point I absolutely thought the lad was bluffing, but after a quick request I found he had in fact had a civilised conversation with Lenny.

https://www.4shared.com/music/w57oLeiCce/20160909_09_40_07.html

Whilst I was waiting for the latest Lenny calls to be published, I tried to find out of the lad was bluffing by quizzing him a bit

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I'm away from my phone at the moment so can't call him myself. What did he say? He tends to ramble on a bit. Did you explain what he needs to do and did he understand you?

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

Hello Richard,how are you doing?you are delaying us to proceed
further. I discussed with your uncle well so i requested to have his
email address from you which i told him. You have to contact him
immediately so that he will send the 17,000 today so that you choose
the option to receive your funds.

1. ATM CARD
2.WIRE TRANSFER
3.DIPLOMATIC DELIVERY

This are the options to receive your funds. You have to choose the
option and update to us your full details such as:

1. FULL HOME ADDRESS
2. YOUR OCCUPATION
3. YOUR AGE
4. NEAREST AIRPORT

UPDATE TO US WITH ALL THIS REQUIRED INFORMATION AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO
ENABLE US PROCEED FURTHER.

Thanks and have a nice day.

Then follows a very similar email some minutes later (not included below). Confirmation arrives that he has called Lenny so I reply.

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I have just spoken with my uncle Lenny and he says that he remembers you calling him but that you didn't explain how he needs to send the money. He is very confused now as to what he needs to do to proceed. It may be worth giving him a call back to clarify.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

Listen to me, update to us all the needed information we requested
from you. And send to us your uncle email address so that we will
explain to him as well or he can call our office with the number phone
given to you early.

Well he asked for it so I'd better provide it..

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

My uncle's email address is *snipped second baiter address with explanation as to why the name is different..lol* (we call him Lenny but his real name is Louis..a long story which I won't go into here).

I've told him that you will be in touch by email. He told me that you mentioned it on the telephone so that is fine.

Thanks,
Dick

So the bank (who reveals for the first time that he is actually called Dr Victor Brown) writes to uncle Lenny..

Bank wrote:

Quote:

How are you doing? Hope that all is well with you? This Doctor Victor Brown.

Regarding to our phone conversation now, i would like to inform you
about Richard, i just sent an email to him now. He told me that you
will be sending the 17,000 today so that it will enable us proceed
further in delivery.

So kindly send the 17,000 with the bank account we gave Mr. Richard.

Remember not to answer any call again apart from this number i use to call you.

Waiting to hear from you soon.

He then immediately emails Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

Hello Richard, how are you doing today? I just spoke with your uncle
and also i email him now. So kindly follow our instructions and guide
him with the bank details i sent to you so that he will send the
17,000 today for immediate development.

N:B, Why are you keeping us waiting with the informations we requested
from you?and you have to choose an option for the delivery.

Get back to us now.

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I wasn't aware that you needed any other information from me. What do you require and I will provide it?

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

Update to us with your full details.

1. Your full home address.
2. Your occupation
3. Your nearest airport

NOTE: You are adviced to choose one option on how to receive your
funds after we receive the 17,00
from your side today.

Waiting for your update.

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

*snipped details*

What are the delivery options please?

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

This is our options for delivery to be choose:

1. ATM CARD
2. WIRE TRANSFER
3. DIPLOMATIC DELIVERY

N:B, scan to us your valid international passport now for
verification. Ask your uncle to know if has received the mail i sent
him.

Make sure that you send the 17,000 today.

And then immediately to Lenny

Bank wrote:

Quote:

Kindly update us immediately for the fastest delivery.

Thanks and best regard

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I just spoke with my uncle Lenny and he says he has received your email.

I think the diplomatic delivery option would be best, don't you?

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote:

Quote:

Hello Mr. Richard, i hope that you are enjoying your day? Listen, am
just doing my work here,you are the one to choose your option for
delivery any one you choose has been updated.

N:B The diplomat delivery you choose is been updated to our diplomatic
delivery agent and he is geting ready for the delivery. Once we
receive the 17,000 from your side we will then send you the form's for
delivery which you will hand fill and return back immediately. Contact
your uncle to send the needed 17,000 with the Bank Account Information
that was given to you.

We look forward to hear from you alongside with your uncle ask him to
update our mail to him now.

Thanks and best regards.

Then uncle Lenny joins the mix. Unfortunately it seems that he can be quite easily confused and tends to ramble on a bit

Uncle Lenny wrote (mandatory Australian accent required when reading):

Quote:

Why hello there, Lenny here. May I ask who is speaking? I don't often use this here electronic mail system. Hello? Can you see what I'm typing? I'm not sure whether you can see this, but I'm trying to communicate with you.

Why aren't you replying to me? Can you see this? Oh I'm not entirely sure how this all works really.

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

Hello Lenny, how are you? I am at work thats why, sorry for the late
reply. Am Dr. Brown, we spoke on phone regarding to Richard. GRAND
PAYMENT CENTER

No idea what the GRAND PAYMENT CENTER bit is about. In fact, despite sending me 3 bank accounts and numerous bullshit emails, we still don't really know what exactly my prize is, but that's quite aside from the point

Uncle Lenny wrote:

Quote:

Hello, there seems to be some sort of time delay with this electronic mailing system. Are you there now? I don't really understand how this works. Can you tell me how you want me to send this money? If you're there please knock twice to let me know. Hello? I remember a chap from my younger days, David Davies Davison was his name, odd but true, used to say I'd make it one day as a professional sportsman. Cricket you see, I liked to play a bit in my youth. Right arm fast medium pace was my speciality. Hello? Are you picking any of this up? Anyway, I had a trial with a provincial side all set up when I fell foul of an alligator attack, severed my Achilles' tendon, damn near almost cost me my whole leg. Never played again after that. Bloody scary I can tell you.

Anyway, what do I need to do with this money? Are you even seeing this?

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

hello
the attached file is the bank information you are to use to make the
payment of 17,000

He attaches a picture of the bank account slip he provided previously to Dick (third piggy). Unfortunately it's written in French and only serves to confuse uncle Lenny. He then immediately emails Dick with the same bank slip

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

hello
Richard your uncle just asked me for the bank information to use send
the 17,000 and i have just send it to him i am also sending it to you
too in an attachment

Uncle Lenny wrote:

Quote:

Hello there, Lenny here. What have you attached? How do you attach something to one of these electronic email type message things? I'm still not sure that you're monitoring what I'm writing. Your answers keep coming with a real time delay. Are you watching? Knock twice if you can see what I'm typing, that way I know you're there. So, again, what is it that you've attached? Dick tells me I'm going to the bank to send some cash. I'm going to need some details to do that. Are you a man of substance? If so you may be able to help me with a problem I've got. You see, a friend of mine, goes by the name of Huckleberry Farquhart Kettlewell The 2nd, well you see, Huckleberry never did do too well with women, despite his vast wealth, the man's got a nose like a ski slope and a face like the proverbial slapped arse. Are you listening to this? Well I hope you're watching anyway. Now Huckleberry needs a girl, and he tends to go for the African type. He's old now, must be nearly 80, but he's got money and that usually helps get the girls going. So anyway, I wondered if you might know of any girls interested in an 80 year old multi-millionaire? Old Huckleberry would love to be put in touch with one if you catch my meaning. Right, so are we going to get this bank thing sorted out any time soon? I'm not sure you're even getting any of this. Where are you?

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

the attached is the bank detail you are going to use make the payment

When no reply comes

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

Hello louis, how are you doing? I got all your message's. I would like
to inform you that the attached document is the account slip copy that
you will take to the bank together with the account details. We don't
want to have much delay on this again as our diplomat is geting ready
for the delivery.

Waiting for your update.

And then to Dick

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

Hello Richard, how are you doing? What is going on. Our diplomat Agent
is geting ready with his document's for the delivery.

You have to use the account we sent to you in scan copy to deposit the
17,000 today,so that by tomorrow our diplomat will be done with all
the necessary things that he has to do here at the bank and take his
flight to your country immediately.

You are now delaying us to proceed further with our work.

Thanks and best regard as we wait to receive the 17,000 into the account.

Dr. Victor Brown

Uncle Lenny wrote:

Quote:

Right ok I've found it now. Lenny here by the way. Bloody complicated this whole thing if you ask me. And just what in God's name is all that? Is that a photograph that you've managed to get inside my computer? I never thought I'd see the day. And what the bloody hell is written on it? It looks like gobbledygook to me. Makes no sense whatsoever. I speak English my friend. Always have. In fact, I was considered one of the foremost English students in my school, going back some years if you understand me? Wrote a fantastic short story about a man and his pet flying fish. Used to fly everywhere with him but then realised it couldn't breath outside of water and died a quite gruesome death. No blood you understand, a fish wouldn't bleed to death in those circumstances. Anyway, the man was crushed. Got depression, turned to alcohol. Never really recovered from the whole incident. Got a B+ for that little trinket. I think it was second best in the class. Anyway. Are you reading this? Just what exactly is that photograph? I can't make out what it says at all. How can I use that at the bank? Hello? I want to get to the bank today if I can. Are you reading this?

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

Hello my friend Louis, i hope that you are enjoying your day? I want
to let you know that the attached copy of the bank slip is what you
will use in making the payment of 17,000 today.

Use the account name and number on the copy and make the payment
immediately. You will go to the bank with that account slip copy what
was sent to you. DIAMOND BANK ACCOUNT SLIP FOR MAKING PAYMENT,THE
ACCOUNT INFORMATION ON IT IS WHAT YOU WILL USE TO SEND THE 17,000
TODAY.

I hope you get my instructions? You can print out the account slip
that was sent to you and take it to the bank and send the 17,000 with
the account information on it.

Waiting to hear from you now.

And fully five minutes later

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

Take the attached copy to the bank and give them the copy to transfer
the 17,000 immediately

When no reply comes he writes to Dick

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

Attention: what is still keeping waiting? Update to us immediately.

Uncle Lenny wrote:

Quote:

Hello, Lenny speaking here. I don't really catch your meaning if you catch my meaning? I can't take my whole computer to the bank now can I? How on earth can I do such a thing? I don't know how you got that photograph inside here, but maybe you could get one inside my house and I can take that with me? If you're listening knock twice to let me know you're here. Are you with me? Hello? Let me know your thoughts? Why aren't you answering me? Are you monitoring this?

Dr Brown sees that the photograph is a problem so sends one of the other sets of details again instead

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

Kindly deposit the 17,000 to this account now and scan to me the
deposit slip immediately:

*snipped repeated second set of bank details*

waiting to hear from you soonest

Meanwhile Dick has been in touch with uncle Lenny

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I just spoke with my uncle Lenny. He wasn't very clear on the phone but he seemed a bit confused and told me that you want him to take his computer in to the bank. Is that something you've asked him to do? Please get back in touch with him and explain the procedure to him. I told him that he needs to go and send the money but he said he was waiting to speak with you before he does anything else and that you had put a piece of foreign looking paper inside his computer.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

No, thats not what i told him, i told him to print out the attached
document and take it to the bank to use the information it to send the
money. But i later send a bank account details to him to use and
deposit the money since he couldn't be able to print it out and take
it to the bank.

And then

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

Tell him to use the account details that i send to him now to make the
payment immediately without any delay.

He then sends the same details to Lenny again before also sending them to Dick again and telling him to make the payment

Uncle Lenny wrote:

Quote:

Hello, Lenny speaking here. I'm going to go to the bank on Monday and send this money. I've written down the details of the bank account so I can show it to the clerk. It all makes sense now. Can you see this? Why aren't you answering me?

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

ok

Monday arrives and so do the inevitable chasers

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

Hello dear Louis, how are you doing? This is to inform you that we are
waiting now to receive the 17,000 so that we can proceed further.

NOTE: kindly scan and send to us the Bank Deposit Slip,it is necessary
for the delivery.

Looking forward to hear from your side soon.

Regard's
Dr. Victor Brown.

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

Hello Richard,
How are you doing? This is to inform you that we are waiting to
receive the deposit slip so that we will proceed further with the
delivery of your prize's.

The only delay we are having now is the Bank deposit slip of 17,000 so
that our diplomat will commenced immediately to with the delivery of
your prize fund's to your destionation with the address you provide to
us.

Waiting for your urgent respons.

Regard's
Dr. Victor Brown.

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

Have you heard from my uncle Lenny? He said he was going to the bank today but I haven't managed to get in touch with him all day.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

I have not heard from him kindly get in touch with him to known if he
has sent the money because that is the only delay we are having right
now, tell him to email me the payment slip if he has sent the money.

Next day, Lenny has bad news

Lenny wrote:

Quote:

Well yibbida yibbida folks, it's Lenny here. Are you listening? I went to the bank yesterday I think it was. Not for the first time I had to reply on public transport to get me there and back, bloody nightmare. Are you with me? So I went to the bank and I gave the clerk the details to send $17,000 as young Dick told me to. I'm not sure you're monitoring this? Are you there? So anyway, they said no way José. They said that because old Lenny I doesn't usually send a lot of wonga they need to give me a 48 hour cooling off period before I can send the cash, to make sure that old Lenny isn't losing his marbles if you follow my meaning? In fairness, it was unseasonably bloody warm so I was quite happy for a bit of cooling off. Hello? So they told me to come back in 2 days, that'll be tomorrow. So I'm going back tomorrow to send the big wonga. Hope you're getting all this?

The next day arrives and so does another chaser

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

Hello linny,
Have you gone to send the money?

Uncle Lenny wrote:

Quote:

Hello there, old Lenny be going to send the money later today. Are you there? Hello? How does this thing even work? I'm sending it later today. Knock twice if you can hear me. Bloody thing.

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

Email me as soon as you send the money

And later

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

hello did you send the $17,000 thousand?

Uncle Lenny wrote:

Quote:

Hello, Lenny here. Yibbida yibbida and all that jazz. I went to the bank today like young Dick told me to. It took the bloody morons an age to get it sorted, but old Lenny never disappoints and I sent the wonga, the full $17,000 no less. Are you there? Hello? How does this thing even work? Can you see what I'm writing as I'm writing it? There's a real time delay I reckon.

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

hello lenny send ne the copy of the payment slip of the $17,000

Uncle Lenny wrote:

Quote:

Hello, Lenny here. Are you there? Knock I twice if you're listening. Old Lenny didn't get any receipt. They never even offered me a receipt and so I am not in receipt of it, if you take my meaning. Have they done something wrong? The bloody morons. I think I remember asking for one actually, or was that a different time I was at the bank? Or was I banking on a receipt some other time and I've got myself confused? Oh well, is the receipt important? Hello?

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

Hello lenny the payment receipt is very important. You have to go back
to the bank and collect the receipt of the payment of the $17,000 you
sent.

He sends this another two times just to be sure, but when he gets no replies for several days he resorts to emailing Dick again telling him to tell Lenny to get the payment slip (not included below)

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I will contact him today. He mentioned that he was going back to the bank for the receipt so I think he will get it later today.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

Ok , do contact him as soon as he obtain the deposite slip email it to
me so that we will procced with the delivery

Uncle Lenny eventually gets back in touch, and it's good news..sort of

Uncle Lenny wrote:

Quote:

Hello Lenny speaking. Are you there? I've got the receipt thing that you seem to want. I don't have the foggiest how you expect me to get it to you. Do you want me to write down what it says? I know before you managed to get a photograph inside my actual computer screen, but I don't know anything about how that sort of thing works thing. Hello? It's Lenny here. Can you get back to me and let me know what you want me to do? I've got the receipt like I say. Got it yesterday. Ran into an old pal of mine while I was in town actually. Top bloke, real hoot Jeffrey Jefferson they call him. Haven't seen him in yonks. Ended up having a couple of the old shandies and before I knew it old Lenny was wasted, groping the bloody waitresses and what not. No complaints made though so no biggie ey? Are you getting this? Anyway, got home late and fell asleep on the couch. At my bloody age, it's like I'm 17 all over again. Are you reading this?

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

Go to a cyber cafe and tell them to help you attach it to my email

Uncle Lenny wrote:

Quote:

Hello there, Lenny here. I'm still not sure this thing's working how it should be. Are you there's? Now just what on God's green earth is a cyber cafe? And how on earth would I attach something to one of these electronic mail messages? I just don't understand. It's bloody mind boggling if you ask me. Just what exactly happened to a good old fashioned pen and paper and the postal service? Are you there? So how do I get this piece of paper into this computer? Maybe young Dick can help old Lenny out? Wadda ya reckon?

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

Hello dear how are you doing? We did the deposit slip to confirm the
payment or send to us the payment slip number to me here. Ask
Richard,how to do this because it is taken much delay now.

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

Hello Richard
your uncle has obtain the recept of the payment but he said he dosn't
know how to attach it to my email.
Go and help him to scan and attach it to my email.
Or you take a picture of it and send it to me

Bank wrote (to Lenny):

Quote:

Hello lenny
go to computer center when you get there give them the payment slip
and tell the to scan it and send it to this email
([email protected])

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

Hello Richard
get intorch with your uncle and help him to email me the scan copy of
the payment slip.

Starting to feel the lad's frustration now

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

Is he having difficulty? It doesn't surprise me really, he isn't up on technology. I once told him about the internet and he started talking to me about fishing and the different nets he used to use.

Thanks,
Dick

Lenny turns up with the good news a short while later

Uncle Lenny wrote:

Quote:

Hello, Lenny speaking here. I hope you can see this. Dick's just been in touch by telephone. I don't know what to do with all this stuff so I went back to the bank and asked them to help old Lenny out. I asked my banker, Mr Tallywacker, to help sending you the payment slip because I don't have a bloody clue what it's all about. He's a helpful chap all in all. Bloody good bloke if you ask me. Not as good as my old banker Mr Devlin mind, but then I knew old Devlin for forty years plus. Never an issue with Devlin, never a need to have an issue with him. Professional through and through if you ask me. Managed my accounts for over forty years and never any problems. Are you there? Anyway, so I tell young Tallywacker to sort this mess out. I give him the payment slip and tell him to get it inside the computer and send it to you. Bloody devilry if you ask me, but he seemed to think it was pretty straight forward. So he asks me where I'm sending it and I give him your electronic mailing address and do you know what he says? He says listen here old Lenny, this here doesn't look like a bona fide bankers address. No sir. He says a lot of fools are getting scammed out of their hard earned, and that I shouldn't be sending money to people who aren't 100% bona fide and trustworthy. Well as you can imagine, this puts old Lenny in something of a bloody tizzy, but before I know what's going on young Tallywacker's cancelled the payment of $17,000 and told me to make sure this business is bona fide before I send any money anywhere. He tells me to do some research and make sure I'm not being taken for a ride. Hello? Are you there? So anyway, that's where we're at. Young Mr Tallywacker's cancelled the payment and I've got the money back in my account. I told young Dick just now and he wasn't best pleased, but he's not as old and wise as me, especially when dealing with large sums of wonga. Are you watching this? So it got me thinking, maybe young Tallywacker's got a point and I shouldn't be sending money to someone I've never even met. What do you say?

Then before the lad can reply, Dick is back in touch

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

I've just got off the phone with my uncle Lenny some 15 minutes ago. He's told me that his banker has cancelled the payment to you although I couldn't really make out why! He just said something about being a wise old goat when it comes to money. Has he been in touch with you? Has he said what's going on?

Thanks,
Dick

I feel Dr Brown is less than impressed, but he will soon find that if he wants the cash, he will have to deal with Lenny

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

You have to go to the bank and make the payment by your self and
update me with the payment slip so that we will deliver your fund to
you, i don't want this delay any more.

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

You know your uncle is not use to electronic email and you told me to
contact him.

Dick wrote:

Quote:

Hello,

My uncle is the person with the money, that's why he's sending it for me. He's not great with email but he's usually fine when it comes to having him send money. He's a wealthy man and does a lot of banking. I don't have access to $17,000 myself so asked him to send it for me. I'll speak with him and see if he will send the money to me so that I can send it on to you myself to avoid any further delays.

Thanks,
Dick

Bank wrote (to Dick):

Quote:

Email the payment slip to this our email address([email protected])

A new email address. He also emails this to Lenny for good measure.

And that is where we're up to so far. I think this lad, despite clearly being dim, has shown good patience and is yet to lose it with me. He's going to realise that Lenny is the man with the purse strings, so I'm sure he'll break eventually. If you got this far, thanks for reading. It was a lot longer than I thought when I started putting it together from the various email threads I have with this lad.