Thick-skinned Mugu

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Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2004 4:00 pm

Of course, the usual mugu mail:

>>On Sun, 10 Oct 2004 03:44:41 -0700, Daniel Savimbi
>><[email protected]> wrote:
>> > Dear friend,
>> >
>> > My proposal to you will be very surprising, as we have not had any
>>personal contact. However, I sincerely seek your confidence in this
>>transaction, which I propose to you as a person of transparency,honesty
>>and caliber.
>> >
>> > Let me first start by introducing myself properly to you. My name is
>>Daniel Savimbi cousin and Personal Assistant of Jonas Malheiro Savimbi,
>>the leader UNITA (National Union for the Total independence of Angola). I
>>got your email address from network directory. I apologize if I have
>>infringed on your privacy.
>> >
>> > You may know that my Uncle was recently killed in a battle with the
>>government troops of Angola, led by President Dos Santos, on friday 22nd
>>February, 2002.
>> >
>> > Now Mr. Antonio Dembo and general Paulo Lukamba who were my Uncle's
>>second in command, has assumed office as leader of UNITA. In spite of
>>this, UNITA is like a herd of cattle without shepherd. Prominent members
>>like Carlos Morgado are still lobbying to oust them and assume office as
>>leader to enrich themselves and some of them who see me as a threat to
>>their ambitions, including General paula lukamba, are planning to kill me.
>>For more information check www.angola.org.
>> >
>> > However, I am a young man who has ambitions and I am not in any way
>>interested in wars, this is why I secretly left Angola and come here
>>(United Arab Emirates) to seek political asylum.
>> >
>> > I am sincerely seeking for your urgent help in respect of the deposit
>>for claiming and transfering into your account pending on my arrival, in
>>your country to carry on my investments plans. I'm interested real
>>eastate,housing because that is the area I have a little idea or any other
>>ventures that will be profitable as well. My Uncle's money was arose from
>>Diamonds sales,This money (US$18.5million),was deposited with a private
>>security company in United Arab Emirate for safe keeping before his
>>untimely death.
>> >
>> > As a matter of fact, this is the reason I chose to come to United Arab
>>emirate to seek political asylum. It is very clear with the way things are
>>now, that President Dos Santos will lobby the
>> > International Community to freeze my Uncle's assets and accounts
>>abroad, to ground UNITA, since he has already done this in Angola.
>> >
>> > I plan to use this money to safeguard my future. It is very essential
>>that you understand that the kind of trust and confidence I want to put
>>in you is extraordinary, and an act of desperation on my
>> > part, in order not to lose this money. Please, treat this contact with
>>utmost secrecy and confidentiality for security and safety reasons.
>> >
>> > The help I need from you is clearing the box containing the funds from
>>the security company, after which, you claim it will be deposited in an
>>account in your name, with my name as next of kin. The money shall remain
>>in your custody till my asylum application is granted, and I have the
>>permit to conduct business, then you will transfer the account to me.
>>Meanwhile, the money can be invested into risk-free profitable ventures,
>>and there will an agreement to protect my interest. I have all the
>>documents that will enable you claim the consignment from the security
>>company.
>> >
>> > For your reliable assistance, I will reward you with 20% of the money,
>>and we shall use 5% to carry out every expenses that we come across during
>>the transaction and the investment process. The
>> > remainder of the 5%, shall be given to a charity of your choice.
>> >
>> > I thank you in advance in anticipation for your assistance in enabling
>>me achieve this goal. Please contact me whether or not you are interested
>>in assisting me. This will enable me scout for another
>> > partner in the event of non-interest on your part.
>> >
>> > NOTE:your prompt response will be appreciated.
>> >
>> > Sincerely,
>> >
>> > Daniel Savimbi

Well, I respond with the "exact same letter" format

From: Zetty Twine <>
Reply-To: Zetty Twine <>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Request For Assistance.
Date: Tue, 12 Oct 2004 19:01:14 -0400
>>
>>Dear Mr. Savimbi,
>>Somebody has already sent me the exact same letter as you. They signed
>>the letter with a different name.
>>The man's name is Rasheed Mugabe and I am supposed to send him $6,000
>>by Western Union. I said I will send him money three different times
>>at $2,000 each for a certificate to certify that his money did not
>>come from terrorism or drugs.
>>
>>I got the $6,000 today after I sold my car. I plan on sending Mr.
>>Mugabe the money on Monday when the WU office is open. Now you come
>>to me with the exact same letter and I am very confused. Please tell
>>me what is going on.
>>
>>Are you working with Mr. Mugabe? Am I supposed to send you the money?
>>I will contact Mr. Mugabe by e-mail.
>>I live in a mobile home and do not have a cell phone, but I do have a
>>computer here in the senior center of the mobile home park with a
>>private e-mail account.
>>
>>Let me know what you think and I will ask Mr. Mugabe what to do next.
>>The $6,000 is safe in a hiding place where no one will find it, so the
>>money is safe. My neighbor Mrs. Betty is going to give me a ride into
>>town in a few days to get to the Western Union office.
>>
>>Now I need this money Mr. Mugabe is offering me really fast because I
>>need to have a hip replacement operation and a new roof my mobile
>>home. So I dont want no delays in getting this here money. Do you
>>understand?
>>
>>Hugh

Just a note: I made up the name Rasheed Mugabe

I get a reply:

Dear Hugh,

I'm sorry for the delay of your mail. I want to make you understand that I'm
the rightful owner of this money Mr.Rasheed Mugabe was my finacial
consultance due to the fact he is delaying this transaction I have already
wanted to handle it myself to speed up this procces. This amount of
$6.000.00 dollars was requested by my lawyer who supposed to get all the
neccesary certificate documents in the court and to be present before the
claiming of this money in bank,that is not terrorism or drugs money. I will
advise since you are ready with the money to finalise this issue,send it
through western union in the name of my lawyer Name: Ndukwe Patrick Johnson.
address Deira United Arab Emirate,phone 00971508713504 you can call the
lawyer to informed him when you send the money. Please don't be confused am
the right owner of this money and there is nothing Mr Rasheed Mugabe can do
without my idea,signature, I have also informed him not to contact you any
futher since am dealing with you direct. You can contact him through email
to know if he is working on my behave,but is needless just go ahead and send
the money to the lawyer to can on this procces so that you can received this
deposit without much delay. As I told you I'm so much interested in an real
estate business.
Hope to hear from you soon.

Thanks.
Daniel Savimbi.

Ooooh That lying, tricky, deceitful MUGU!

My response:

Hello daniel
Well I sure AM GLAD that you finally wrote back and cleared up this
confusion. I had to spend $600 of the money I am to send you because I
had to get the motor on my wheelchair replaced. However I'll be able
to get the $600 back in about two weeks and then I can send that to
you then.
Hurry up and send the paperwork I need.
Hugh

Mr Mugu replies:

Dear Zetty Twine,

Thanks for your response,I hope you are doing alright today. After going
through your mail it is well understood but I will advise that you send what
you have now so that the lawyer will start the procces of geting those
needed documents for the safety transfer of this money to your account.
Because I have already informed thate lawyer regarding your privious
soon as the documents are fully rteady then you can then send your account
information where the money supposed to send to by the security company. I'm
looking forward for your reply.

Thanks.
Daniel Savimbi.

Two things: There was a suspicious hyperlink in this letter the mugu sent me(highlighted). Also...what a greedy greedy bastard this guy is, eh? LOL

Hello my bugger

Well where do you say I'm supposed to send the funds? I still haven't
received the questionnaire you said you were going to send me,
pertaining the disbursement of the funds. Frankly, I'm getting a bit
worried.
Hugh

MUGU SAYS:

Dear Hugh,

I have advise you to send the amount you have at hand now so that the lawyer
will start the procces of those documents that is need to complete this
transaction. You have to send the money to the attorney who is handling this
matter,his name is PATRICK.N. JOHNSON. ADDRESS DEIRA DUBAI. you supposed to
send the money to him not me,but as soon as you send it get me informed so
that I can have the right to push him from then side to complete this
documents without any futher delay. get back to me with the news that you
has send the money with the cashing informations so that I can forward them
to him. Hope to hear from you soon.

Thanks.
Daniel Savimbi.

I'm growing bored with this lad...

Hi
I don't understand. You are all confusing me. Where exactly do I send the money?
I suspect that Patrick Johnson is a homosexual.
Hugh

Mugu replies with this as subject line in his letter:

send the money to the attorney he is not a homosexsual as you think.
Dear Zetty Twine,

I can't understand where you are heading to,which other people are you
dealing with regarding this buisness if there are other people you are
dealing with apart from me the rightfull owner of this deposit then you are
making a mistake. Don't be confused you supposed to send the money to the
attorney barrister patrick johnson in dubai united arab emirate,he is still
waiting for the money as soon as he received the money which you supposed to
send through western union he will start the procces of all those documents.
If you are willing to follow my advise send the money to the attorney and
keep me informed as well. hope of hearing from you next.

Thanks.
Daniel Savimbi.

I respond:

Hi
Look you are starting to piss me off. How do you know the lawyer isn't
a homo? Where is my money??? You are very confusing. I need my hip
replaced and you are monkeying around with me. Now lets cut the shit
and get to business. You better produce for me or you'll regret it. Oh
and you should check your anti virus program on your computer. There
was a virus attached to your last letter, but luckily my antivirus
program is up to date and caught it.
Now hurry up and send me the paperwork you are supposed to send me,
then I can send you or that idiot lawyer the money, so I can get my
BIG MONEY.
Hugh

Mugu writes:

Dear Zetty Twine,

Now I can understand your point clear but I will advise you not to get
in-contact with any other person any longer because of this act with Mr.
Rasheed and the formal lawyer now I want to tell you that I have rules all
of them out of this transaction because of their unfaithfullness towards me
and you.I have no idea that you has already send two hundred dollars to them
before,am sorry for that. The new lawyer that I have appointed is Patrick N
Johnson he is not a homosexual I feel so bad when I hear such word from you,
when I'm glad as you have made yourself clear to me,stop any futher
communication with no one again expect me regading this transaction for you
not to be in a lossing side because I will not be happy to hear such again.

I have contacted the company myself today and collect the copy of this form
you supposed to filled out with all your account informations where the
money have to be transfered to. Here attached is the scan copy of the change
of the ownership title, you have to print it out and filled and send back to
me,and the company where the deposit was made by my late cousin.But we still
need those documents for the drug,terrorist certificate that the lawyer
supposed to obtain to help,finalise us transfer the money out from here to
your country,the early you send this money the more faster this issue will
be solved. I'm looking forward for your response.

Thank.
Yours Sincerely,
Daniel Savimbi

He sends me a cheesy document

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v299/magua/changeofownership.jpg
I ignore him, and he sends another letter

Dear Twine Zetty,

Let me know your stand, I hope you are doing alright since I send my last
mail to you I have never got your response please let me know your stand in
this transaction,because we have gone a long way. I'm looking forward for
your quick reply as soon as possible.

Thanks.
Daniel Savimbi.

I write back:

Daniel,
Well I saw your cheesy documents you sent me, and, well, they were the
same documents I already sent that bastard Rasheed, and he was
supposed to send me other documents just like that homo lawyer was
going to do. You better get your act together because I want to send
you the money I'm supposed to send you, but I won't send you another
cent until you straighten your act up. Also, you better not be a
homosexual like that lawyer. I suspect you are, Mr. Fancypants.
ZT

Let's see what Mr Buggerpants has to say for himself!

Dear Zetty Twine,

I'm so glad of hearing from you once again, regarding the papers work that
you are requesting in the past did you arranged with Mr. Rasheed of sending
those papers to you? havn't you received the deposit copies in the
past,because in the past i asked him to send the copies to you which he
aggred,that was sent. I'm confused as well as you are still requesting for
those papers. I want you to send the money to the lawyer if you are really
serious to carry on this transaction with me,but if you are not willing
please let me understand your stands. Secondly you asked:Where is my
money???what money did you really mean,has you in the past send any money to
Mr.Rasheed regading those documents which the lawyer supposed obtain for the
clearance of this money against drug,terrorist free. Stop calling the lawyer
a homosexaul because he is not,and I don't want to hear such an insulttive
words from you again. looking for your response.

Thanks.
Daniel Savimbi.

I write:

Daniel old pal,

I sent Mr. Rasheed two hundred dollars for the paperwork, but he never
gave it to me. I heard from his lawyer once and he was very suggestive
to me, which is why I thought he was a homosexual. I don't know if it
is the same lawyer or not. Then I got your letter, which was the same
as Mr. Rasheed's, so I figured you must be working for him. So that's
why I am asking for the paperwork and the questionnaiere I am supposed
to fill out. Got it now?
I didn't mean to insult anyone, whether they are homosexual or not,
which is why I sure do hope you aren't a homosexual and offended.
Anyway, send me the documents for God's sake. Then I can FINALLY send
you the money needed to release the funds for us. I need that money
you promised me so I can get my hip surgery.

Hugh

Well, I didn't hear from the mugu for two weeks, so I send this letter:

Dear faggot,
Why haven't you written back to me, you bastard homosexual?
I'll slap the hell out of you and your daddy, and spray water on your
mother because she has sex with goats!
Jerk-ass!
Hugh

To my surprise, I get a response. What a thick-skinned mugu!

Hello Zetty,
how is your day? i guess fine? please sorry late reply, i
was seriously sick, and i was addmitted to hospital, that why you have not
heard from me since, about the paper work, i have contacted the security
company about it, and they said that you should write to them with your
email address so that they will be sure, before they can relase it for me.
so please MR. Zetty, since you have accept to help me to recover that money.
i will like you to please render any effort to make sure that i recoverd
that money from them. pls just write to them so that they can give me the
paper work, since you said that you sent monet to mr. rasheed, so i dont
want you to send any money for me till i battled with the security company
to make sure that everything now is ready for tranfer to your account, pls.
just try your possible best to mail the security company, here is their
email address. [email protected]
Secondly, i must be frank with you, i don't like you to insult me, by
calling me a homosexsual, if you think that you can not help me again, that
should not make you to can me such an insultive name. pls, dont ever
mentioned that name again, ok.
hop to hear from you soonest.
Daniel Savimbi.

What a dipwad! A security Company with a Yahoo e mail address, huh?

I send Mr Mugu two quick letters...hope he gets frustrated!

Hello Daniel
I'm sorry that I called you a homosexual. Now, back to business: I
need that money you guys promised me so I can get my hip surgery. Now,
I already sent Rasheed $200 dollars. Now I need to know the contact
address of the attorney so I can send him, or you, the further fees so
the money can be released. Let me know.
Zetty Hugh McGrub Rection

and:

oh yeah, Daniel,
Sorry to hear you were sick. You don't have the AIDS, do you?
Regards,
Zetty

To be continued...?

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2004 4:31 pm

Quote:

Two things: There was a suspicious hyperlink in this letter the mugu sent me(highlighted). Also...what a greedy greedy bastard this guy is, eh? LOL

The hyperlink is automatically inserted by gmail when you type something.xxx where xxx is a valid top level domain - nothing your mugu did!

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 3:09 pm

alrighty!

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2004 12:17 am

Dimwitted Mugu writes:
Hello Mr. zetty Hugh,
How is your day? i guess fine? infact, am very
sad to read your first mail which you ask me if been contacted by AIDS. well
that is not the matter am ok now. about Mr. Rasheed, i told you what they
guy does to me, because i ask him to get contact to someone that will help
me to relased the money and transfer it to his account, he went and does
what he like with you, due to that he is the one that brought the first
lawyer to me which am using before, i did not know that their plan is just
to collect the money at my back without letting me know the situation of
things, but i was suprise when when the security company called me and ask
me if am aware that the money should be tranfer to Mr. Rasheed accounts,
that his lawyer say that he is bringing some money for the relase of the
documents, infact am total suprise to hear that, And i did not know that it
was the money which you sent him that he use in processing the documents in
favour of him, to enables him to withdraw the money from the security
company in the absent of my signature.that is why the security company
called me and ask me if they should relase the documents to mr. Rashedd at
my absent, that is when i got to know what is going on and i have to
contacted another lawyer which he help me to go an summoned the case to
court, from their i got to know that Mr. Rasheed has contacted you, that is
why i wrote to you to let you know that am the rightful owner of that money
that you should stop any further discusion with any body. if i may ask you
is it not when i ask you if you can render any help for me to make sure that
i got the documents from the security company that you told me that you have
sent Mr. Rasheed the sum of $200, up to now i have not ask you to send any
money for me, i just want to collect all the documents from the security
comapany, and send to you so that you can write to them for the tranfer of
the money. with your accounts details.
Now Mr hugh, before any other thing, i Mr Daniel Savimbi, will like you to
send me your national identityand your phone numbers to enables me to know
whom am dealing with,because i have not know they country you come from. so
that i can be able to say that am deal with MR. HUGH, from this country.
secondly, i want you to just have little patients. because am still fighting
to make sure that i collect all the documents from the security company. to
enables you fight for the relase of the money.
I will like you to stop any further discussion with any body even Mr
Rasheed. because i have not know his way about since the court decleared him
wanted. if you are still interested to help me to recovered the money i will
just like you to keep away from any mail unless the one that i ask to mail
them which is the way to get the money back from the security company.
hope to hear from you soones.
Daniel Savimbi.

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2004 12:21 am

I write to the Mugu

Dear Daniel,

You know, I am seriously starting to think that Rasheed is a
homosexual too, just like your lawyer friend who gave you the AIDS.
Is everyone in your miserable country homosexuals? I don't understand.
All I want is the money you promised me. I sent you fags 200 dollars,
and all you are doing is messing around with me. I filled out your
stupid form and questionaire, and sent it to you people, but I have
yet to receive one lousy dollar from you goat-fuckers! Yes, I am damn
mad and angry, which is why I am using foul language. I am beginning
to think you are trying to cheat me. Anyway, sorry to get all angry
with you, I'm sure it isn't YOUR fault. Listen, be careful around that
lawyer, I wouldn't bend over near him if I were you, I bet he'd plug
you up in a minute and not even give you the common courtesy of a
reacharound.
Sincerely,
Hugh G Rection.

I tell ya, this Mugu is REALLY thick-skinned!

Dearest Zetty,
thanks alot for you word, and the healthy advise which
which you give me, infact am very happy to hear that from you. but there are
some areas which i want you to clearify me, so that i can know what to do
now concerning the money, As i told you at my mail that i have i got another
lawyer who can can help me to contact the security company for the release
of those documents to enbles us starting processing for the release of the
fund. but due to your mail now, i can be able to understand your point, but
now i want to understand you fully, about the $200 which you said that you
have send, i want to know if it is Mr. Rasheed, you sent the money to or the
Lawer, because as am reading your mail, the way am understanding it is like
you have sent to Mr. Rasheed, and the Lawyer. so just clearify me so that i
can know how i will handle both of them.
Secondly, Mr. Zetty, i will like you to forget on past, whether you have
sent them $200, i belive that it was through me that your money get lost, in
the sense that i called him to help and to assist me to make sure that i
recovered the money from the security company where the money was kept for
safty. that is how all this comes up. so my suggestion now is that am going
to balance you what ever the expenses you have encounter during this
transaction. so let us just forget the past, since you are been touched to
help me to recovered the money, i belived that it was God that sent you to
me, so i will like us to work hand to hand in order to relase everything,.
that is why i dont want to ask you for help again. i will like to make sure
that i use my money to relase thae documents from the security company, ansd
send to you.
Finally, as you suggest that i can make sure that i understand this my new
lawyer, if there is any way you can write to the security company and ask
them what it will takes to make sure that the money is been relase and
transfer to your designation bank, which you will forward to them.
so i will like you to think of it. and give me urgent reply, so that i can
send you their address.
regards to your family,
Daniel Savimbi.

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2004 12:29 am

I respond:

Dearest Daniel
Top of the day to you, my lad, and best wishes.
I guess my $200 dollars is lost. Well, I'd certainly like to continue
this business with you. I'm glad you no longer associate with that
treacherous Rasheed Mugabe. I hope that thief enjoys the $2oo dollars
I sent him. Anyway, I will take your advice and forget the past. After
all, what is a measly $200 dollars when you and I stand to make
millions?
However, I am now certainly going to have to be cautious. How can I
know for sure that I can trust you? I think I have a way. I'll need
you to send me a picture of yourself...but I'll need you to hold a
sign with the name of my wheelchair model on the sign. I use REMMACS
wheelchairs, and I want you to send me a picture of yourself holding a
sign that says REMMACS. That way, I'll know I can trust you 100%.
Then we can start anew and I will send you the money necessary to
release the funds you promised me. Have we got a deal? Send me the
picture!
Hugh Zetty

To be continued...?

Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 4:09 pm

I didn't hear from Mr Mugu for 2 days, so I fire off a quick note:

Hey Danny boy,
Ain't you gonna write back? What the hell?
Hugh

He writes back the next day:

Dearest Zetty,
thanks alot for your mail, and your understanding too?
secondly, sorry for not been able to reply your mail due about your request,
that you need you to hold sign with the name of my wheelchair model Remacs
on the sign, actaully, i dont really understand what you mean by that, that
is why
i could not reply you, till when my lawyer will come back from travel. so
let just wait.
till he comes back from travelled. if you needed my picture, i can send it
to you so that
you see the person you are dealing with. thanks and remain bless.
still me,
DANIEL SAVIMBI.

Harumph! I'll tell him exactly what I mean! I fire off two letters to him

Ok Daniel,
I will explain this as simply as I can, as if I was explaining it to a child.
I sent Rasheed $200 dollars. He screwed me out of it because he was a
bastard fraud. I WANT to trust you, but since I was already cheated
once, I must be cautious.
I want to see your picture. However, I don't want you to send me any
old picture, because you could send me some picture and SAY it's you,
but how could I be sure it is in FACT you? The only way I can be sure
is if you send me a picture of you holding a sign with a secret code
word. That way, I would KNOW it is indeed you.
I chose my wheelchair brand name(REMMACS) as a code-word, because I
know nobody could come up with such a secret code word but me.
So, please send me a picture of yourself holding up a sign that says
"REMMACS" right away. Note the spelling, Daniel: REMMACS. Don't fuck
it up. Once you send me that picture, I will be assured that you are
honest and willing to work with me. May God bless you if you are
honest, but may Satan shit upon your soul if you you are trying to
cheat me like that bastard Rasheed Mugabe.
Take care, Daniel my friend. I hope this letter clears things up.
Your buddy,
Hugh

2nd letter:

Daniel,
Why the hell must you wait for your lawyer? Can't you think on your
own? Screw him; he probably just wants to take your money, and he may
even be a homosexual. Listen, send me that picture with the REMMACS
sign right away, or I fear I will not trust you any more. Come on
Danny, we have a lot of money at stake here. My grandmother, who was
an American Red Indian, had a saying in her native tongue: Is-thay
ertainly-say is-ay aud-fray.
That means, trust thy neighbor and good things will come to you.
Take care!
Hugh

To be continued?

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2004 8:15 pm

Daniel responds:

Dearest Mr.Zetty,
How is your family? i hope they all are in good
condition?
how is your business too? am also hope that everything is ok. infact Mr
hugh,
am so much glad for your advise which you also gave to me, concerning the
money
which is still in the hand of the security company. where my cousin made
deposite.
infact when i started thinking about the advise you gave me last time, it
made me to be scare
of the lawyer, since the very person i contacted which is Mr. Rasheed
Mugabe, has even plan to withdraw the money at my absent, if it not the help
of God. so i have think of your own advise, but what make me to started
thinking of consulting a lawyer is that am still younger to handled such
business with the security company, that is why am been advise to look for
alawyer who can help me. and now you have brings another suggestion
concerning the lawyer. that he can collect the money from me. so my dear, i
promised to send you my international identity, so that you can have trust
on me, and i will also like to have yours so that if two of us can have the
mind to write to the company, we can do so. i will informed the lawyer to
forget about the money that am not ready for now, then i can forward you the
address and the email address of the security company so that you can write
to them to know the stand of that money. before you write to them, i will
give you all details concerning that money so that you will not made any
mistake.
if that is ok for you like that, pls just write me back so that i can know
what to tells the lawyers when he come back from his travellled.
Thanks
Yours Sincerely,
Daniel Savimbi.

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2004 8:19 pm

It's funny how he keeps mentioning Rasheed Mugabe, A name I made up. I never had received any letter from such a person. HAHAH Twisted Evil

I respond:

Daniel. Daniel!

What are you trying to do to me? Here I am, sitting in my trailer
home, which is messy because Clyde my pet jump-possum has been tearing
around the place all day(and he is only partially house-trained, I
might add)...the motor on my wheelchair is acting up again, and I just
paid $600 fucking dollars to get the fucking thing replaced! I need my
damn hip replaced, and a new fucking roof on this house, so I'm really
ANXIOUS to get the money that bastard Rasheed Mugabe had promised me.
All I asked from you is one lousy picture. I don't want your goddamn
national identity card. You know damn well those things are easily
forged. Do you want me to trust you or not?! I want you to send me a
picture of yourself holding a sign with my secret code-word on it. I
know it is impossible for THAT to be faked. So get your ass to a
photographer, or get somebody with a camera, and have them take a
picture of you holding a sign with the code word "REMMACS" on it.
Look, we both need this money, so you better not fuck up this deal, see!
Don't screw around! And stop calling me "my dear." That sounds really
gay. Send me that picture right away, got it?
Hugh Zetty McRub G. Rection

TO BE CONTINUED...?

Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2004 12:28 am

It's been a few days since I wrote to him, and he hasn't responded. I may have lost him, or maybe not, so I act crazy and mad and I sent this: Warning, !!

Dear Daniel,

YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A GODDAMN GOAT F*CKING THIEF! WHERE THE F*CK IS MY
$200 DOLLARS YOU STUPID MOTHER F*CKING BASTARD SHEEP-LICKER! WHY
HAVEN'T YOU WRITTEN BACK TO ME? I BET YOU AND THAT MONKEY-SUCKING
BASTARD RASHEED MUGABE SPLIT UP THE $200 DOLLARS I SENT HIM! WELL I
HOPE YOU SPENT IT ON A HOMOSEXUAL PROSTITUTE AND GOT AIDS YOU PRICK,
BUT I FORGOT, YOU ALREADY HAVE AIDS, DON'T YOU!
NOW STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH ME AND SEND ME THAT PICTURE YOU STUPID BASTARD!

Regards,
Hugh Zetty

Do you think he'll be offended?