Bird Delivery Fiasco

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Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:45 pm

Well, it all started with simply answering the spam emails from my amusing account ... Everyone meet R0b1n L0ck5ley of Str8t Arr0w 1ndustr1es and boy does he had a problem...

The initial email

Quote:

Dear Sir
With all sincerity and humility it is with deep pains i write you this message of wishful assistance to my predicament.
I am Raymond Taylor the only son of last wife to the former president of Liberia who was asked by unanimous decision by the international community to step down from the corridors of power .
I write you this mail under duress and as a result of my recent decision to better the lives of me. I have made a decision which i know might not be good in the sight of man but the present situation has led me to this decision to better the lives of me.Currently now have decided to make do with the sum of six hundred million us dollars(600.000.000)United States Dollars belonging to my father in which i am a benefiaciary,when he went into exile in Nigeria. In 2006.
On 29 March, My father tried to cross the border into Cameroon through the border town of Gamboru in northeastern Nigeria . His Range Rover with Nigerian diplomatic plates was stopped by border guards, and Taylor 's identity was eventually established.State Department staff later reported that significant amounts of cash were found in the vehicle.
Upon his arrival at Roberts International Airport in Harbel , Liberia , Taylor was arrested and handcuffed by LNP officers, who then immediately transferred custody of Taylor to the United Nations Mission in Liberia (UNMIL). Irish UNMIL soldiers then escorted Taylor aboard a UN helicopter to Freetown, Sierra Leone,where he was delivered to the SCSL.
I have decided to relocate with your assistance to your private account the said sum.My decision was reached when i could not conceive the thought that after the United States Government has promised to let my father go free based on the condition that he should step down Mr.Collin Powell stated in a press briefing that he would be indicted by the court in Netherlands to face charges on war crimes,this is what led to my decision as God Knows that i was never in support of his involvement in the indecent maltreating of innocent people in Politics.
This decision is hard for me to make but i just have to make it for the sake of my me future.Currently the said sum was lodged in a safety deposit box in a financial company Institution which i will disclose to you as a matter of commitment to me and this plea for assistance. I currently have the deposit certificate and can draw up a change of beneficiary mandate to effect you as the beneficiary to the funds.
I am a trained economist by profession and it is in this line that i will want you to take note that your services for assisting me will be compensated to the best of my ability.
I have this to look forward to so i would like you to keep this project close to your heart just as myself pending when we reach the conclusive end of this project. I will want you as a matter of confidentiality to respond through this mail and also include your telephone number as well so that i can give you a call if the need arises as we are currently on political asylum now in west africa. Once get your confirmation that you can be of assistance i will bring you into a clearer picture of the situation at hand.
I look forward to your response with great hope of assistance.
I remain Yours Truly,
Raym0nd Tayl0r

Oh dear!!! Well:

Quote:

Oh dearly Tayl0r!

This sounds like a terrible situation. Please, I would like to help you!

We'll skip the salutations and siggies...

Quote:

Thanks for your prompt response and the zeal to help me . May God bless you bountifully. I have total trust in your integrity and sound corporate vision. You can handle the deal successful with the stipulated procedures.

I am declaring to you in all totality that this transaction is real and safe. I cherished your integrity and honesty, I am totally convinced that I shall entrust the Fund into your hand for sincere directives on how to complete the movement and transfer of the Fund out here.

It was through helpful assistance of my father's friend in Cotonou - Rep. Of Benin that sincerely helped me to lodged the fund as a Consignment on transit in the Customs Depot - Cotonou Rep. Of Benin.

I am under the refugee status here and my father's friend is the only source of my financial assistance.

Since I exhausted my available cash to sustain and maintain the fund up to date, I am not accessible to cash..

It is very important for you to do so because this will enable you to perform physical inspection and confirm the true existence of the fund as been kept in the Customs Depot.

I want to introduce you as the new and Boniface beneficiary of the Fund therefore; it is very important for you to come down here in Cotonou Rep Of Benin for the true confirmation and existence of the Fund and for physical inspection also.

This will enable us to have official negotiation on how to move and transfer the Fund out of there to secure destination or nominated account of yours.

My request therefore is for you to give me necessary assistance to transfer the funds to your destination or nominated account of yours choice.

As matter of fact, there will be a written and legal agreement that will entitle you to 40% of the total Fund for your sincere commitment in concluding the deal. While 10% will be set aside to offset any expenditures that we might incurred in the process of implementing the transaction. The 50% remaining shall be for investment project and shall be under your direct management and supervision.

I have attached for your view the Customs Deposit Certificate, Ownership certificate and the picture of the Green 30 boxes as it is been kept in the Customs Depot.

You are to send you valid passport in order for me to obtain an invitational letter that will enable you to come down here for the confirmation and official conclusion of the transaction.

I need your prompt response.

God bless you.

I copy his spellings:

Quote:

I can see why you derise a queck solution for this transaction. Seems like you are in an awesome binding. I reviewed the docs and I trust you in all totality.

But I need to know how we produce with this transaction? I would not be able to arrange a trip away from my business for a weeks, you see. We're in the searching for a new supply of birds due to the aviary flu taking out or current stock for arrow fletching. It's a multi-billion dollar government contraction deal to find good feathers for our products. I'm sure I can still help you if I can find an ecological bird supplier. There is nothing viable in the US, unfortunately. What a dilemma.

Please do keep in touch! I want to help!

There is more... MUCH more!!!

Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:54 pm

Annnddd .... while I work the one, another contacts me... :

Quote:

Dear Sir,

We have Gold Dust and Bar for sell at the best market price .

Product ........Gold Dust
Purity ............93.7%
Quality ..........22K+
Quantity ......... 300Kg Presently in Cotonou Benin Republic ...

Once you are inline with above ASAP for us to proceeed Accordingly .

Regards
Abba$$ M3n$ah

Oh Abby, too good to be true! You are the answer to my prayer!

Quote:

Saladtations Abba$ M3n$ah,

I may indeed be interested in investigating in gold. Tell me how I might get inline.

And he replies:

Quote:

Good day to you sir.

We have gold dust in Netherlands , we have a particular constraint regarding the gold as it is, the gold got to the Netherlands through the initial keepers of the gold in Africa, the keepers has an affiliate of the safe keeping home in the Netherlands and that is why the group head that owns the gold ordered the keepers to move some quantity of 250kg to the Netherlands on behalf of the gold owner. More so we have about 500kg presently in Africa both Gold Dust and Bar if you interested in coming to Africa for a deal . We can supply you 2000kg monthly.

Now what we demand from our buyer as agreed with the keepers is that our buyer will be allowed to meet with the mandate to confirm the gold existence and quality without a dime been involved from the buyer and after all confirmation intact the buyer will be required to move the whole bulk lot to the buyers destination and after assay the buyer will pay into the sellers nominated account.

These above is the actual way out to conclude the sales of the said gold in Netherlands and Africa respectively.

Alternatively buyers can issue a confirmable banking instrument . We can source for a financier that will help us for the shipment.

DOCUMENTS:
Each shipment and delivery shall be accompanied by the following documents:

a) Three originals of Commercial Invoices in favor of the Buyer.
b) Form A2 (issued by the ХХХХХХ Bank of ХХХХХХХ (country)
c) Certificate of Origin.
d) Certificate of
Ownership.
e) Geological Survey Department
f) Custom Declaration Form(s)
g) Export Permit, Original copy of the Airway bill.
h) Full set Airway bill, marked "air freight Pre-paid".

I wait on your revert to proceed accordingly

But in the meantime my other friend T gives me a nice reply:

Quote:

Thank you for your email. I appreciate it so much, how are you doing and your entire family? great hope? Since you can not come down to Benin Republic to confirm the existence and physical inspection of the fund where it was lodge as a consignment. I want you to contact my father's friend who helped in lodging the money in Benin Rep Because He's the only One That know much about this money and where the money lodged`.

Contact him on His email address below;
Name - Pr1nc3 R1chard
Email - **************

I will discuss everything about it with him on phone because i am on refugee here and my father's friend is the one helping me since I move to this country.

Hehehe. Who did you say??? Don't I know him!

Quote:

It has been so long since your quirly that I was concerned for your safety. My family is fine. I am currently in a multi-million pound deal for the source of my arrowing fletchings. It's been quite a search for archeopterix bird farms. They are so popular in the airial defense industry that it makes supply unable to keep up with demand.

Yes, that does mean I shall be unable to leave for Benin Republic any time soon. But I see you are making arrangements I shall shoot a message to this Pr1nc3 R1chard straight away. That's funny, I used to know a rather influential man named R1chard. R1chard L10nh3art. That man was a crusader! In fact that's why he called himself the King. Great guy.

Let's just send our new friend a quick message:

Quote:

I hope this email finds you well. I have been exchanging information with your friend RT about a certain consignment. I am unable to travel to the Repubic at the moment due to a multi-million pound deal on birds for my airial defense company. If that falls through, I'm not sure what I will do. Without the proper fletching the arrows won't fly straight. Anyway, I hope to be able to help our friend out. Pr1nce R1chard.

You know, I was telling RT about an associate a mine, a real crusader named R1chard L10nh3art. Any relation?

The buildup is slow... but stick with me here.

Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 12:03 am

PR writes me back:

Quote:

How are you doing today and your entire family. Thank you for your concern about this transaction.

Raymond spoke with me about the movement of the Consignment boxes to you.I have been expecting your mail.

Sir, this has to be confidential, I'll speak with the custom officer in charge for the possibility and the movement of the consignment this week through a diplomat.

I will get back to you tomorrow with the way forward to move the consignment this week because we don't have to waste anytime.

Please kindly send me your full name , address, telephone number, nearest airport and attached your international passport copy

Oh dear, he missed my question!

Quote:

Glad that we have connected. I can't wait to hear from you again. RT has complete trust in you, as do I.

By the way, you never did tell me if you were related to my friend R1chard L10nh3art. I shall have to ask him.

Well, PR is a little... blunt:

Quote:

I'm not relate to your friend, can you please send me your full name and address including your mobile number

Meanwhile RT is happy:

Quote:

Thank you for your email. I hope by now you should proceed with PR , Just keep me posted as you proceed with him and please don't called my mobile number because we are attached here and took away our belonging .

Don't call this mobile number for now : +**********, I will give you the new number if I get the new number .....

And my gold dust friend is doing math, I think...

Quote:

Thank you for response.

The bird is 10.000 pounds per bird and you need 3 dozen of birds which 36 birds and 10.000 pounds per 1 which mean you are to pay 360.000 pounds for the 3 dozen birds.

Therefore with 360.000 pounds you can get 22kg of Gold Dust to you !!!

I will be glad if you can do business with me

I wait for a way forward

Now I'm thinking we can cross these two with a little bit of playing around....

So RT gets:

Quote:

I comprehend your predicament and will keep in contact with our now mural friend. I shall remain hush-puppy on the issue.

PR gets left hanging for a bit:

Quote:

My apologies in the length between replies. I am currently in the midst of working out payment for a load of 3 dozen archeoptyrix for my fetchings. Wish me luck on the good dealings. I shall try and send my passport to you shortly, the delay is because I am having it laundered.

And my golden buddy A$$:

Quote:

My apologies for the delay in reponse. I must inquiry if I could arrange you send the dust directly to Isle Nublar?

Well.... I found my birds!

Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 12:11 am

Apparently A$$ can't read:

Quote:

Good to hear from you back .
Please keep me update quick.
I am waiting for your next step to proceed

Silly boy, answer the question!

Quote:

I need an answer to my previous question, quickly. We need get these archeoptyrix moving fast. Someone else is negotiations. Can you ship it to my contact at Isla Nublar? If not, I cannot proceed with you.

Quote:

We can ship it to Isla Nubar that is not a problem sir.
We give the best and deliver to any place in the world.

I wait your response

Oh really? Hehehe.

Quote:

That makes me most happy to hear. I must ask what type of vessel would be used in the shipment. This is a critical detail. Please repost quekly.

I've waited days for PR to contact me... then I get this:

Quote:

I wish you good luck in your business and please don't forget we have to be very fast about this we don't have much time .

Oh, so you still wanna play?

Quote:

I have not forgotten. As soon as my passport gets back from laundering and I have secured the delivery of the gold dust payment for archeoptyrix shipment I should be able to breath again. These large transactions are always nail biters!

Meanwhile A$$ fires eagerly back: WITH PHOTOS!

Quote:

Thank you for your response, We can ship the gold through a courier and we send you tracking number and we can also send a mandate to deliver the gold to your seller in Isla Nubar , The gold dust with ship with Caisse Metallique. We ship with DHL or we send a mandate to deliver to you in Isla Nubar.

I have attached the certificate of deposit and my passport copy.

You are to pay 50% of the money and pay the remaining balance as soon as the gold dust is delivered.

I wait for your response !!!

Eager much? But I need more details....

Quote:

That makes me most happy to hear. I must ask what type
of vessel would be used in the shipment. This is a critical
detail. Please repost quekly.

And A$$ replies (With several !!! after his name)

Quote:

The Gold Dust is in Dubai now, the gold dust will be ship from Dubai down to Isla immediately you are ready for the shipment.

I wait your response soonest

Oh dear... But but...

Quote:

It is very important that your shipper use a certain type of vessel to approach Isla Nublar. I have been in contact with my supplier and he is concerned that some of the engines of typical delivery vessels may spook the wildlife. That would very bad, so he tells me. I need to know what kind of vessel they will be using.

Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 12:25 am

Now he has 3 S's on his name:

Quote:

What type of vessel your supplier want because we do as customer want, Please confirm the type of vessel your supplier want in shipping the gold dust to him and we ship the gold dust with the vessel.

I need your urgent response

Well--A$$ asked:

Quote:

It is very important that your delivery take place in a kayak to avoid gaining the attention of the local wildlife. I have been advised that anything with a motor would result in a serious spooking and possible danger to all involved. The kayaks must be also be a colored fuscia to avoid being detected by the rapters. My contact on the Isla has suggested it might be advised for you relay a photo of the kayaks and your delivery man that will know who to expect. Privacy is critical. To confirm, please send a photo of the delivery man in front of the fuscia kayaks with the sign saying "Showing our privates". I will also be doubling my order in gold dust to cover a second shipment of arceopteryix.

Please be swift with the photo,
this deal is a short lived prospect!

By now it has been days since PR has reached out to me. A concerned RT writes:

Quote:

How are you and your family, Please beware of prince PR and others, this people are scarmmer they hacked my email account and starting contacting you like me.

Please do not send any money to them, there are fake they will collect all your money by sending you fake document.

Oh NO! REALLY Twisted Evil

Quote:

I am most dismayed to learn of this. I was just getting my passport back from being laundered and about to send it to this Richard fellow. This is terrible to learn! So is this whole off, my friend? That would trouble me as I was hoping to utilize the consignment in funding the government's war effort. Please, stay safe my friend! I am secureing delivery of arceopteryx through kayak from Isla Nublar. Perhaps my friend might be able to aid you in fleeing?

A$$ with more photos of ... stuff...

Quote:

Firstly, I want you to give me your mobile number

The picture is attached , the gold you want and how you want it package

He's really not getting it, guess I have to explain:

Quote:

Yes yes, I see the gold. But I need to see the fuscia
kayaks with the sign mentioned. I am beginning to wonder if
you are serious about this. My acreopteryx are about to get
sold if I cannot secure payment. Without the photo proof
with the verifying sign I cannot vouch for the safty at Isla
Nublar.

Oh... are we getting testy?:

Quote:

I have gold dust to be sold not to eat sir, I want to sell it and it will be very nice to have a deal with you , everything is set to move to gold to Isla as you want but to be serious I don't understand what you mean by " fuscia kayaks " Can you explain better ?

I sent the photo of the gold to you , where the gold is kept or package and the mandate that will deliver it to your destination Isla.

What proof do you need sir ? Am at your service .

Waiting for your response

Well, if you are at my service:

Quote:

This is very important.

I have been advised that anything with a motor would result in a serious spooking and possible danger to all involved. The kayaks must be also be a colored fuscia to avoid being detected by the rapters. My contact on the Isla has suggested it might be advised for you relay a photo of the kayaks and your delivery man that will know who to expect. Privacy is critical. To confirm, please send a photo of the delivery man in front of the fuscia kayaks with the sign saying "Showing our privates". Without this photo proof I cannot proceed.

Remember, I want to double the delivery. I need more birds.

Annnddd.... A$$ is confused again:

Quote:

We satisfy our customer, We only ship the gold on Water and the delivering man can take a photo on the ship because it is confidential people on the ship must not know the content in the box for his safety and I hope you understand and the ship will move immediately you make 50% payment of the money and we are ready to deliver to your destination.

I already send you the delivering man picture and the gold dust picture.

The ship that will deliver the gold is attached and after the 50% payment I will tell you when the ship will be in Isla.

The gold dust will be transport with Viewfinder ship.

Alright, time for this Lad to put up:

Quote:

Yes, you have sent a photo of the man delivering the gold, but not in the manner in which I have requested. That does not satisfy my concerns. I do not care about the ship itself--he must approach the Isla using a fuscia colored kayak. I am not speaking of the main vessel. The main vessel cannot dock at Isla Nublar, nor should it! Now, this is the last time I shall make this request. Failure to provide the photo as instructed means I can no longer trust you and will secure payment with another man.

The photo MUST include the man standing before the fuscia kayak he will approach the shore with so that I can pass this on to my contact on the Isla Nublar. Your man MUST hold a sign with the words "Showing our privates". Anything less than this is ends our relationship. I will not permit you to hold up this deal anylonger.

This is your last chance to show you mean business!

Meanwhile RT and I are chatting he writes:

Quote:

How are you?

Hope these hackers donot contact you again?

Please beware of these evil people, I want to know your programme for my transaction with you.

I will be expecting your prompt response.

But I am in deep trouble!

Quote:

Hope this finds you safe, my friend. I am still tryng to work out the purchase of a shipment of archeoptyrx birds from Isla Nublar. Regretfully, I am beginning to suspect that the fello I am dealing with is not truly on board. What a sham. We were talking about kilos of gold dust. But you, my fiend, have been nothing but honest with me. Can we find some way of getting the consignment to Isla Nublar?

RT is such a helpful Lad:

Quote:

I am very sincere and honest with you totally but I did not understand the exact content of you email.

I wish be glad if you can give vivid explanation for my best understanding. Where is your town and location?

Can you explain the exact transactiona of birds and gold separately?

I am expecting your prompt response.

Ohhhh.... well...

Quote:

Oh, I am glad, because perhaps you may be able to assist me. I have been trying to get two dozen archeoptyrx shipped from Isla Nublar. The trouble is that the currency exchange is a nightmare. My contact on the island has suggested gold or gold dust as a solution. Regretfully the man, that I have been trying to arrange the delivery of the gold dust to Isla Nublar is not taking my precautions seriously. I have not asked much, but it is very important that I make certain the delivery be made correctly. Isla Nublar is rather remote and the wildlife hazardous. I am only looking out for the safety of his delivery man and the man accusses me of holding up the transaction. I am very upset over this. I may lose access to these very expensive birds! And with it, a huge contract. So you see, my fiend, I am at wits end to find someone who can assist me properly.

And this is where I am at just over a month volleying ... if I can keep them hooked this should get wild fairly quickly. Cool

Chaos theory, anyone?

Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 1:25 am

This looks like it might have been a good read. But, you lost me at "R0b1n."

TmLDR - Too much Leet; Didn't Read.

The likelihood of someone searching for Robin or Taylor and finding these is...well, go ahead do some searches.

From: *** 419 EATER FORUM RULES - PLEASE READ ***

Rover wrote:

There seems to be rampant paranoia about Google lately, and an increasingly overwhelming use of leeting to prevent any name from being found in a search. Please, to make it easier on everyone, take a moment before leeting a name to think about whether it really serves any purpose. Leeting is hard to read, especially for those who are vision-impaired and rely on text-to-speech software. If it's a situation where you absolutely must obfuscate a name, consider using the "mask" feature -- bracket the name between mask tags [mask ] [ /mask] and it will become unsearchable. However, please note that this feature takes up bandwith so use it sparingly! Only mask one or two words, never mask entire paragraphs. If you do have good cause to leet (which is perhaps .0001% of the time), just change ONE character. Please don't write "P47r1(|{ J0n3$" when "Patrick J0nes" would be more than enough to obfuscate it.

I find it rare that leeting is necessary. Your character is Robin. Call him Robin, or Robyn, or Robbie, or Rob, or Bill, or Mack, or somebody.