The Turkish bargaining ritual

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Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 12:11 pm

Very, very nice!

That's the same guy I've been harassing for the last few days. He really is a dimwit.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Mar 2016 Posts: 26

Thank you all for your kind comments. The next parts aren't as funny but still amusing enough to post. This post is more or less one long slap with some setting up the groundwork for the next post.

To make a long story short, we made an appointment to do the payment ritual. I came two minutes late. I also had told him I would send a letter with the details of the ritual which I didn't have time to do.

Brother forever
we both have an appointment at this time
I am here waiting for your reponse
you have betray my trust in you....

He then sends me this charming letter.

Quote:

Brother forever,
Then I am coming for you and your family. First I will rip off your Heart's tits, then sodomize you with a tent stake, then hammer it into her ass with a sledgehammer. Then I will blind your children by pouring sulfuric acid on their faces and cut off their feet with a machete. Then I will nail your hands and feet to the wall and set your house on fire, you will all be burned alive. Bye Very Happy

Not a very brotherly thing to say even if he did start it with Brother forever..

Hello?
Brother forever?
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS???
SAYING THOSE THINGS TO ME?
I THOUGHT WE WERE BROTHERS FOREVER
I SEE U WILL NOT RESPECT THE BROTHERHOOD
i was expecting you...

AND I AM HERE
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?
to send the mail for the ritual payment

TELL ME NOW
NO
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?
EMAILS LIKE THAT?
DISGUSTING
IT SEEMS U MAKE A MOCKERY OF MY TRADITIONS
What will do now?
when i am angry, i always do something crazy
Brother forever I am sorry for the now
not to mock our tradition
Brother forever
apologies accepted?

I will tell u what
the payment ritual will not happen tonight
I will have to ask my legal advisor what to do
Since you have offended my customs with this threat I will need to see if I can still do the payment ritual
if I cannot then I will die with honor
I am not afraid to die
I wish only to live for my children and wife
I must speak to my religous advisor
I am sorry, Is apologies accepted?
You must write an apology email
I will show it to the religous advisor
If he accepts it then we can do the brotherly oath once more
if not
then i may die
but my family will track you down
and kill you

Brother forever...i have seen your sincerity...you are a man of honour and of your words...i will prefer we go ahead with this not only because of you but because of other member in your family...
Brother forever

you may not call me brother forever now
you have broken the trust
all you may do is send the apology letter to be shown to my advisor

but you disappointed first
HOW?
BY SHOWING UP TWO MINUTES LATE??
IS THAT WHAT THIS MEANS TO YOU?

you promise to send me a mail letter
[color=blue] I told you I would do it soon
I have the letter
I would've sent it
I will still send it if the advisor says I may
can we still brother forever because we are both mature
this is not a mature issure
even when we get angry,
this is not anger
brother fight
you have offended the custom
this is not a regular fight
they fall but they will stand up as one
you have threatened over the very thing we became brothers about
that is not allowed
I will you forgive?
You have nothing to forgive
it is my honor you have impunged
i mean wil you forgive? me?
I am ready to give you one more chance
thanks
however I must speak to the advisor to see if the aincent laws allow this
you may send a apology letter by email
however do not address it to me
or call me brother forever
address it to my clan
for it is their laws you offended
and I do not know of anyone who has survived that
Tell me how to address it...
To the Leviemite Clan.
Have you not heard of the Ebosele Moses death?
that was by our hands
He offended our traditions online
much like you
No
The police covered it up
saying it was not a murder
Because the chief is one of our own
I say this not to scare you
as I am not angry
merely to help you understand what you have done
I am not scare of anything i am train to die but live with those who want peace
and we are a peacful clan
we do not hurt others
to the contrary
we protect the poor
the injured
even those who anger us
we only hurt those who offend the laws
and it is not out of anger
but out of respect to our clan
it is a quick death
not like those you wrote in that terrible email
but it is sure
and always there
Listen my friend
I will make sure this doesn not happen to you
You already have my forgiveness
you need only ask for the clan's as well
then we can recommit to glorious brotherhood
and commence the payment ritual

He then sent me this:

Quote:

Leviemite Clan
LETTER OF APOLOGY
I wish to apologies for the misuse of word to the tradition of Leviemite Clan, I hope this apology is accept because i am a man of few words.

I love this tradition because they love peace and tranquility i will never misuse you word again to a friend i will live to protect if he meet my requirement.

My Regards

i have send a letter of apology
have you see it?
i see it now
it is quite short
yes i am man of few words
I should not give you advice because it is against tradition
why?
you are my brother
but you have betrayed me

why?
after promising in the vow
you threatened me over the very thing we have bonded
I shall advise you anyway
in the name of our new brotherhood
of the future
I think you should add two parts

what will i do now, you will keep to time one minute later is out of the time
one addresses to the head of our clan Gershomall

like what?
Ok, will that be Ok by you
a personal apology to the tradition he represents
and the second part you should add is a bit of praise about the glorious tradition and the help it's done to the world at large
but i didn't offend him? Ok i will do that
that is all the advice i can give
i may already of said too much
for some reason I like you

I will do that now
i am writing it right now because i do' betray the brother hood again
ok I shall send the letter to the head advisor
I think it best that you send the letter to the advisor himself
He is not a forgiving man and I do not want to see you hurt
I will give you his email address

send it
hope you are not pushing me into something i will not like...shall commence
<gershomall's email>
to the contrary ex-brother
I do this to save your own life and mine
I am not afraid to die
we are both not afraid to die ex brother
but we still wish to live

I am doing this because i want to die and protect you because i like you
why did you call me ex-brother?
I told you
we may no longer call each other brother forever
not until Gershomall forgives you in the name of the clan

I will going out to kill somebody
i will be going out to kill some today...is time is up...
are you talking about killing someone I love? because if you are then there is no way gershomall will forgive
If you speak of killing someone else then it is ok
we of the Leviemite understand honor killing
are you there friend?
you may answer the question

At some point in the conversation he sent the same apology letter to gershomall with the addition of this

Quote:

Clan Gershomall is honour to the people of their land and tradition, full of peace and prosperity he live in harmony with his family joy...fight to protect the poor and the wealthy

A few hours later I sent back

Quote:

Mister Rogers,

John has come to me and spoken of you. At first I wished to have you destroyed for forsaking the path of our clan. John has pleaded with me not to. Since he is a well respected man in our clan I will take his advice.

I shall use the 40th section of the secret book of mongols to forgive you.

GERSHOMALL LEADER OF THE LEVIEMITES

He logged off and I thought he might've twigged. He came back a few hours later to reassure me though.

I not killing some you love somebody who want some bad friends dead
Friend forever, hope you are doing fine...

I'll try to post the next chat sometime soon.

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 11:13 pm

Quote:

The next parts aren't as funny but still amusing enough to post

Are you kidding? Your bait is hilarious (not to mention pretty ingenious!). Also, I really loved the payment negotiation at the start - I genuinely lol'd as
I was reading it.

Can't wait to see how the negotiations progress Very Happy

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 8:14 am

+1! This is really hilarious Very Happy

Second part is even better than the first. Looks like he's totally confused.
Can't wait to read more of this.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

Intriguing approach, hilariously funny and effective. Can't wait to read more. Thank you so much for the entertainment. Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Mar 2016 Posts: 26

I just want to say that there was never a plan to this whole bait. The whole ritual just came in middle of the chat. I still don't have a plan so I don't know when this is going to end or where this is going.

Do you guys think it's better to do it this way or to have some sort of direction?

Brother forever
Has gershomall gotten back to you yet friend?
no
I spoke to him
OK
He was very upset
and wanted you hurt
but I convinced him otherwise
he said he will think about it
I think everything will be fine
Thanks
I do not know why he hasnt gotten back to you yet
Maybe he has already started the days of rest
Ok
the clan rests from all killing and judgement on friday and saturday
we have being on this now for the quit some time....
that is true
and it is your fault
I came 2 minutes late
and you betrayed the ways
be happy i like you and have pleaded for you
Thanks
so what do we do now
it is in gershomall's hands now whether we live or die
you must tell me when he get's bak to you and what his answer is
when will he get back i have being waiting for his mail and you are so principle and have a lot of rules...
I will try to hurry him.
Do not mock the rules
they lead to peace and happiness
I will never mock the rule if only you can meet your promises..And work like that man with integrity...which i know you are....My Brother forever
please do not call me brother now
it is friend
why?
[color=blue] once gershomall fogives we can do the brother ceremony and go back to being brothers
Ok
when will he gershomall forgives?
i do not know. I will try to urge him to do it soon
Shall I tell you the story of how the rules came to be?
YES
the story starts 800 years ago
Wow
our glorious ancestor Genghis Khan started an invasion of europe
go ahead i am all here
and after many victories he died
but before he died he gathered all his sons
and told them the virtues of unity
he held took out an arrow and broke it half
then he took a bunch of arrows and showed them that he could not break them
he then told them
if you stay together you will be like the bunch of arrows and will never lose
if you scatter you shall be like the single arrow and fall and break
wow
then the great warrior died
at first his children held his ways
and with unity came victory
city after city fell to their mighty united hands
Unite Wow that is interested...
it is only the very beginning of the story
but it is the main lesson
go ahead with more so that i could learn
ok

I like you...you are good person you don't desrve to die like
and you are being respectful
i will tell gershomall of that
Thanks
eventually the brothers had clans of their own
they became mighty leaders
and as they stayed to gether
they coninued to win
they became powerful and glorious
know throughout the world
but then they began to forsake the ways of their forfathers
they began fighting between themselves
and as gehngis had said
they began to break
the long beaten empires started to rebel
what is the course of their fighting?
what do u mean?
what make those children that was in unity started fight theirself...
they began to get greedy
and did not wish for their brother what they wished for themseves
That is what is happening today in the world, greed ...
most of the killing i am going for is greed, they will tell me that i want him dead for no just good reason...that is the reason i search for you not to kill but to see the kind person you are...and from my conversation show that you are good man
yes indeed

But i want you to keep your promise
this money i am collecting from you is going to Orphanage homes and give to the poor...i wish you understand it very well...and windows and help those i will
to me i am well to do, i was train as an undercover agent...my profession is to kill, I am a professional in the business
Friend how you their?
i am here
good
when u listen to the rest of the story you shall see how i cannot betray my word

that is why i want us to commence the ritual for the payment...? because they need to feed
good
can you continue with the story?
ok
once the brotherhood began to fall apart
the wars began to be lost
the gains began to be lost
everything gengis had worked for fell apart
the mongols who had such glory
started to retreat
unfortunately
they did not learn
the more they lost
they dishonor their ancestor
yes
that is bad...
yes
and the more they lost
the more they fought
they did not learn
yeah
the less they had
the less they shared
the less they brothered
and the more they lost
this went on for years
soon the mongols were on the run from all their enemies
everyone they had hurt
was taking revenge

can we work together so that i will help to bring this race in euro and russian?
so that we can spread our tentacles?
please wait until the end of the story
you understand us more
Ok
then you can talk to gershomall about what you wish
I am but a poor minor member of the clan
as you know all I can afford for my life is $250,000
go ahead with the story
So the worse the situation became the worse the brothers acted
as they retreated members began to leave the clan
most were cowards and indeed unworthy of the clan
However there was one member named Leviemite
ok
he was but a minor member
of small importance
a leader of a small piece of a vast army
under his command he had only 300 families
wow
but he was different than the rest
good
I'm sorry friend I must go now
it is getting late and the days of rest call
I will talk to gershomall for you
but I must go

but you didnot finish the story?
it is a long story I will tell it to you next we meet
when do you prefer we should meet?
I prefer to meet when the days of rest are over
time be specific?
because i want us to carry out the payment ritual....Friend forever
Brother forever
Bye....
i am here
i am on the phone please wait

I love the way he forgets about making a specific time. His loss.

Ok, but i want you to have a rest...
Bye rest well
ok i will rest
next time i see u i will have spoke to gershomall
I hope he will have gotten back to u

Good Bye my friend...
i will also tell you the rest of the story
so you may understand us better

good
goodbye friend
rest well
Thanks

I left for about a day and a half. He missed me.

Mr John Thank you..Gershomall wrote me i just saw the mail right now..
Brother forever
he said you pleaded with him....on my behalf...Wow you are nice friend...Thanks
Friend forever..
HOPE YOU ARE DOING FINE?
GERSHOMALL LEADER OF THE LEVIEMITES
has forgiven me can we start with the payment ritual. you promises me to send an Email but i have not see it yet... friend forever
Hope you are resting well?
bye
hello
Friend forever....
Friend?
are you there?

He sent this letter to Gershomall

Quote:

Thank You but i wish to work with you...and your Clan..to spread this good news and true religion in Europe and Africa how did you see that?

My Regards

Gershomall has a requirement

Quote:

I don't think you fully understand the offense you have committed. When I say that I shall forgive you it is not right away. You will have to understand fully what you have done first.

As for working for us. We have not had a worker who has not been part of the clan in over 50 years. Why should we let you work for us? You must give good reason.

Before we discuss this you must ask John to tell you the story of our clan. Only then shall you understand us.

Mr. Assisin isn't so happy

Quote:

John has told me the story very well....

Gershomall doesn't tolerate much nonsense

Quote:

Has he told you the important part with dayton and the story up to the present day?

Do not lie to me or you will be sorry. Ask John to tell you the story or you will not hear from me until the final message.

GERSOMALL LEADER OF THE LEVIEMITES

The assisin caves...

Quote:

He told me he will continue the part of the story....when we meet again

I'll try to post the next chat soon. The editing is apain in the neck.

Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2016 4:18 pm

Nice! I find that sometimes working without a specific plan can end up going in all sorts of entertaining and unexpected directions. Sometimes it fails badly but can be a great way to explore new ideas and flexible thinking.

Here we can see that your killer has wasted a lot of time on you so far and provided some very entertaining snippets. It seems there are a lot of people on 419eater who are very busy not getting killed right now.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

The story is evolving very nicely in an 'off the cuff'' way. Maybe you don't need to plan too far ahead, just have a few possible ideas up your sleeve? Seems to me you have a very fertile and flexible imagination. Giving it free rein so far has produced excellent results, imho. clapping

Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2016 7:40 pm

I'm a fan! Very Happy

Maybe he can become part of the clan after doing some paperwork and stuff. Maybe he can build a big monument Smile

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