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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2015 1:52 pm

Jerry agrees to Hilts's plan:

Quote:

Okay i will not fuck it up by Gods Grace if its cant work now may after new year Holiday i am very ready Okay.

I will be waiting for your buddy hand writing instruction Okay.

Thanks and God Bless

I'm perfectly fine with waiting until after New Year's. Gets me closer to a sandtimer (January 16) without risking the lad twigging.

Meanwhile, Roger keeps asking Robert questions about the fund he is offering:

Quote:

I don't understand what you are talking about. You haven't explicated anything properly. Of coarse I am interested in your offer, but you haven't told me anything about where this money is coming from. Who is this man who has heart cancer, and why does he want to donate his money to our Church?

I'm deliberately making it hard on the Robert character. He has no script for this angle, and it's clear that he is floundering without it.

Roger tells Jonathan what the next step is:

Quote:

Do you have the names of the cavorts yet? I need to pass it along to the Elders so they can approbate the payment for their cavorting. It is very impotent that you get that to me soon.

I am please to hear that you are ready for the next step in your membership. We call the next stage Artistic Devolution. It shows how you are humbling yourself before the Old Gods and the Elders who carry out Their holy work on Earth. Do you feel you are ready to proof your loyalty and devolution to the Old Gods?

Let's see if we can get another photoshoot out of this lad.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He finally replies to Mr. Snorky

Quote:

Hello Mr. Snorky

Thanks for your Mail Okay, Merry Xmas to you and all the snorky boyz please i am sorry for delay in reply Okay, i want you to know that loan game is the Best Game to make Money, all the snorky boyz needs to do is to post on USA site like this DO YOU NEED AN URGENT LOAN IF YES CONTACT US VIA ANY EMAIL ADDRESS PROVIDED OKAY.

Once they ask you make calculation that is Terms and condition of the loan with this game Police can never know what you are doing, there will non be any accusation Okay.

Once again Thanks for this offer Okay, Help me to plead with Feathers non to theft my funds Please.

Mr. Snorky is not impressed

Quote:

You need to keep in mind that we not only invented the loan game but we perfected the *DELETED*. I find it amusing that a low level lad like yourself thinks he can teach me ANYTHING about the loan game that I don't already know. We Snorky Boyz made over a half BILLION dollars last year off of the loan game alone. How much money did you make? And if you want to be a Snorky Boy don't you dare wait so long to respond to any Snorky Boyz emails. Unless you can prove to me that you can do more than the loan game there is no way I can make you a Snorky Boyz supervisor. So what else are you going to show me?

Big X, where do you want him to go? Mr. Snorky can give him a deadline to get there, after that the money is fair game for a Snorky Boyz grab.

(As a side note, this has to be the dumbest lad I have ever encountered. Razz

)

Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 2:43 pm

^ I want him to go to Benin, walk into a bank with a note written in French, and hopefully get arrested. I want him to go there on January 4.

To that end, Hilts emails him:

Quote:

Ok dude, we'll do it for after New years. Can you be in Cotonou Benin on January 4? And really be there, not tell me some bullshit that you'll be there, then fuck things up like an asshole. I'm not fucking happy with all the delays you've caused, we should have had this shit done like 6 months ago, but apparently you can't do anything fast.

You gotta actually be there, not pull your usual lazy ass nonsense, understand? My buddy isn't gonna release the goddam money until he knows you are in position. So you better fucking be there. I'll work with him on getting the handwritten note for you.

I'm optimistic that he will travel.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Mr. Snorky lets him know that Hilts is his until January 7

Quote:

Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age, or maybe it's just all the psychedelic mushrooms I ate this morning, but I am going to give you a chance. You are a probationary Snorky Boy, but not a team leader. If you do well in your probationary period and get a positive review from your handler you will be made a full time Snorky Boy supervisor, with benefits including life, health, dental and vision insurance and a company matching 401k plan. I will be leaving on a flight to Brazil this afternoon and will not be returning until after the first of the year. We know you are working with a Mr. Hilts on a loan scam, and you have until I get back on January 7 to complete your dealings with him. I would suggest you get off your lazy ass and take advantage of this generous gift. After January 7 I will instruct Feathers to chop every available dollar from Mr. Hilts and you will get nothing.

Your handler is Snorky Girl Abadon. Her email is xxxxx@xxxxxx. You should contact her right away. She will be waiting for your email.

Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2016 3:25 am

Hilts has not heard from the lad in a week, and prods him to find out what is going on:

Quote:

Dude, what's the deal? I haven't heard a goddam word from you about the drop dead transfer in Benin. When can you get there? My buddy needs to know your in position before he releases the cash. Let me know what's good.

He hasn't replied to Roger from either of his other characters yet, so I don't think he's just ignoring Hilts. Hopefully I can get him to travel sometime this week.

Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:37 pm

poor old JG - nothing but gobble, gobble, gobble all over Christmas Laughing

Oh how I looooong for this safari! It would be truly delicious Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2016 11:32 pm

Jerry asks Hilts to have his friend release the money:

Quote:

Happy new Year i want to tell your buddy to lease the funds and the note so that i can be on my way i also need the phone number of the bank Manager Okay.

That was not what I told him would happen.

Hilts unloads on him:

Quote:

Dude, that's not what the plan was. You need to tell me exactly when you will be in Benin. Because I told you, my buddy isn't gonna release the $320,000.00 USD cash until he knows you are in position to pick it immediately. What happens if he releases the cash, you pull your usual bullshit and don't show up, and then the goddam Snorky boys steal the cash? We're all fucked, that's what happens.

So don't be an asshole about this. You've already wasted several months of my valuable time and delayed your own big payday for no fucking reason. For once in your pathetic fucking life, make things easier on yourself and just do what I tell you to. I've done this shit before and I know what I'm doing, understand?

And you must be out of your goddam mind if you think it's a good idea to call the bank manager directly. How's that conversation gonna go down? "Hey, I'm coming to your bank today to pick up some highly illegal money laundry on cash that I got from being a 419 scammer". Jesus, you don't use your fucking brain at all! The less the manager knows about you and the less contact he has with you, the better. So let my buddy talk to him, all you need to do is show up when I tell you to with the note and get the goddam cash.

You better fucking respond to this email with the date when you will be in Benin. That's the only thing I want from you now. If you respond with anything else, I will take another $50,000.00 USD out of your share. If you don't show up on that date, I'm taking all of the cash. So don't fuck with me.

Hopefully he will finally commit to a date rather than waffling about it for another month.

Meanwhile, the lad responded to Roger with both of his other characters. First, Jonathan says he is ready for the next stage of his membership process:

Quote:

Happy New Year a Year of moving forward Okay, i am very ready for the next stage i will forward the list to you shortly.

And Robert ignores all of Roger's questions and asks for his banking information:

Quote:

Thanks for your acceptance Okay i want you to know that this funds has been approved to your church which is Church of the Old god, so we are ready to wire the funds to you now please send us the below information Okay.

He's even asking for Roger's username and password. Roger will be confused by this, because there's not a chance I'm giving him any of what he asked for.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He finally responds to Mr. Snorky. He is scared to death that Feathers will chop his payment.

Quote:

Hello Mr Snorky Sir!!!!

Happy new Year sir please i have been in the Hospital over one Week now please i get up now please Sir i am very Need to Work with you sir please can you Give another Grace to complete the deal with Mr. Hilts Please Today is already Jan 7 please Mercy Me Please SIR.

Happy New Year Boss Please Help me to be Rich Please do not instruct Mr. Feathers to chop the money from Mr. Hilts Please.

God Bless You.

Nine pleases. I'm thinking he is desperate enough and ready to travel. X, how much time should Mr. Snorky give him?

He also finally responds to his Snorky Boyz handler Abadon

Quote:

Hello Abadon

How are you doing? Please i am very sorry for the Delay in reply please i have been in the Hospital for medication over a week Plus. Once small Happy New Year so let give down to business Okay.

Regards

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Nine pleases! Laughing

Perhaps Mr. Snorky should chop JG's next payment of blojob money as a show of superiority. Snorky could tell him it is punishment for ignoring him, and something that he has the power to do at anytime if the lad does not acknowledge him. It would be fun to get a call from his partner again. Very Happy

Always deeply concerned for JG's well-being, the lad asks:

Quote:

ARE YOU READY TO PAY NOW??

Yes, JG has been working hard and he finally has some money again...

Quote:

JERRY IVE BEEN SAVING MY BLOJOB MONEY IVE GOT SEVRAL TOUSAND DOLLERS NOW!!!! BUT WAT R U GONNA DO FOR ME SO FAR U HAVENT DON SHIT!!!! WHILE IM HERE IN GANA SUCKING DICK AFTER DICK AFTER DICK I DONTEVEN HERE FROM U FOR WEEKS BRO!!! WATS UR DEAL BRO!?!?!?

Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2016 12:32 pm

@ Jayhawk: At this point, you can tell him whatever you want. Maybe if you tell him that the Snorkys will chop the payment he will develop some urgency and actually commit to a date.

But I suspect this lad is going to move at his own pace no matter what, and I'm a patient baiter so I'm fine with that. After all, I get a sandtimer on January 17th.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Mr. Snorky gave him another week. His handler Abadon to lad:

Quote:

I can't believe you are alive! I thought for sure you were dead. Hell, I even had ten bucks riding on it. Listen to me and listen well - You are out of second chances. This is it. Mr. Snorky is not happy with you and neither am I. If you are run over by a car, beaten to a pulp and near dead, with vultures circling overhead and rabid dogs eating your intestines your first and only thought had better be "I NEED TO CHECK IN WITH ABADON!". Got it? No more excuses.

Mr. Snorky says that you have Hilts until next Friday the 15th, and after that he is all ours. He also says that you lost the right to JG and his uncle. As punishment for ignoring your duties as a Snorky boy they have been taken away from you. Mr. Bingo is on his way to take care of JG permanently, and then he will take care of the uncle permanently. Sorry about this Mr. L, I hope you learned your lesson from this and you don't fuck things up with Hilts. THIS IS YOUR FINAL FINAL CHANCE!

Look, I've seen some of your work, and it's good. So why aren't you rich? Don't you want to be rich? To walk out of your mansion and have all the young children fight over who gets to open the door to your Mercedes? To have your choice of women, and be thought of as SOMEONE in your town? If so then prove it to me. You don't make money by sitting on your ass and doing nothing. You have to work for it. Mr. Snorky is being incredibly generous in giving you Hilts and you don't seem to appreciate it. So go grab your brass ring!!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

He has been chopped yet again...

Quote:

JERRY TANK YOU SO MUCH BRO I JUST NEW YOU WOULD COME THRU FOR ME BRO TANK YOU!!!!!! UR PARTNER EMALED AND THEN CALLED ME AND IT HAS ALL BEEN ARANGED I SENT HIM ALL THE MONEY I HAVE ERNED FROM ALL THE BLOJOBS AN ASPLAY THE LAST COPLE OF WEEKS AND IT WAS TOTAL $3300 OK AN I SEND IT TO UR PARTNER IN SENEGAL OK!! AN I GAVE HIM MY ADDRES SO HE SAID THAT HE IS COMING FOR ME THAT HE WILL BE THERE NEX WEEK OOOOO THIS IS AWESOME NEW BRO I AM SO TIRED OF GIVING BLOJOBBERS I THINK ALL THE <snip> IS GIVING ME TREP TROAT BRO!!!??! OK I WILL SEE U AN UR PARTNER SOONEST ok!?//!??!?!?!??!?!>!>!!"!!!!!??!???!

JG

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Let's see if he warns JG about Mr. Bingo heading out to kill him. Somehow I kinda doubt it.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

If he does, it will only be so that JG can give more bj's to raise cash to send him. He really has no redeeming qualities that I can see, except as amusement for us of course.

Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2016 10:57 am

He did qualify as a sandtimer, so there's one positive thing.

Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2016 2:09 am

Jerry tells Hilts he will travel this week:

Quote:

How are you doing? i will be on my way this week Ok from Ghana to Benin so i need the note immediately Please!!!

Hilts asked for a specific date. He will not be pleased when he responds tomorrow.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He replies to his handler Abadon

Quote:

Hello

Thanks for your Mail!!!! i am so grateful to the Boss Mr. Snorky, Can we go down to business now

God Bless

Not quite yet

Quote:

Take care of Hlts first and then we get down to Snorky business. You have until Friday. Be sure and check in with me every day and let me know how things are going with Hilts.

For the first time I'm starting to think that he might actually travel, but this lad has let me down so many times before that I refuse to get my hopes up too high.

419Eater is my life Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Posts: 274

Quote:

this lad has let me down so many times before that I refuse to get my hopes up too high.

Yes, but you will always have "suck his duck".

Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2016 2:34 am

Hilts slaps Jerry, and confiscates some of the money:

Quote:

Listen here you shitbag, I explained this to you already. I know your as fucking stupid as a bag of hammers, but even you can't be this thick. You get the note only after I know you are in position and ready to pick the cash. It's called fucking operational security. If I send it to you now and the goddam Snorky boys get a hold with it, we're all fucked. It's safer if you get the note only after your in position.

You didn't give me the exact specific date when you will be in Benin. That's the only thing I asked you for, and you didn't give it to me. Because of that, I'm taking $50,000.00 off your share, now it's $270,000.00. Send me more useless emails and I'll take more. I need the exact date you will be in Benin, not just some vague bullshit that you will be there sometime this week. Which day are you going there?

The threat of losing money from his share should make him more compliant with Hilts's instructions.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He is trying the kill them with kindness approach with Feathers

Quote:

Bless You sir

Feathers, the little psychopath, ain't buying it

Quote:

yeh wel fuk yu sir friday almost here and yu knows wat dat men rite???? it menes cum friday i gets da hilts mony and mr snorky see how dum and stoopid and lazee yu relly is

X, should he try and warn Hilts you should change his email around and tell him that sure, your associate Mr. Crowley can pick up the money.

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 11:30 pm

^ He hasn't responded at all. Hilts prods him:

Quote:

Hey asshole, are you planning to respond to me some time this century? It's a simple fucking question: when exactly are you gonna be in Benin? How does it take you this goddam long to do anything?

You know your just delaying your own pay day with this shit, right? Get your slow ass in gear already. I can't wait forever with this shit.

I don't know what he is expecting to happen if he keeps delaying. I'll keep pushing him to travel, but who knows with this lad.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Abadon emails Mr. Snorky, with the lad copied in (whoops)

Quote:

Mr. Snorky

With all due respect sir I am writing you concerning Mr. Lucky. I'm afraid that according to my sources he has done nothing with the Mr. Hilts client. As you recall you gave Mr. Lucky Hilts out of the kindness of your heart and you gave him until this Friday to collect his money. Feathers is ready to collect from Hilts for the Snorky Boyz but he is waiting until the deadline passes to act. I have told Mr. Lucky to check in with me daily and update me on his progress but he has failed to do so. Herr Snorky, I know you think Mr. Lucky has great potential as a Snorky Boy but I respectfully disagree with you He is just too lazy to bring anything to the group. I have a dozen Snorky jobs lined up for him that will pay big money but per your instructions I held off assigning the jobs until he completes the Hilts case. Do I have your permission to drop him as a Snorky Boy and allow Feathers to chop the Hilts dollars?

Your humble employee

Mr. Snorky still has confidence in him and responds to Abadon with the lad copied in

Quote:

Abadon

I would advise you to keep your opinions of Mr. Lucky to yourself. This is a lad with great potential. I know he is lazy now, but if you recall when Feathers first became a Snorky Boy he was a chronic masturbator, and we had a very difficult time getting him to work at all. Now he is one of our top earners. Let's give Mr. Lucky some time. If he fails to act we can always kill Hilts and take all the money we want. As for the projects backing up, give them to Feathers. Now don't bother me any more

He has gone silent on me but I fully expect some whiny story about him having to be in the hospital

Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 11:10 pm

Hilts prodded the lad again:

Quote:

What the fuck is taking you so goddam long? Can't you tell me one simple thing? My buddy is asking me again when the fuck your gonna get your dumb ass to Benin to pick the cash. But I don't know what to tell him, because you ain't said shit to me. It's pissing me off, and you sure as shit won't like me pissed off.

Get your thumb out your ass and tell me what I need to know. I'm getting sick of your fuckery.

He hasn't replied to any of my characters in days. I think we can assume he's not going to travel. Jayhawk, if you want to chop the lad with your Snorky characters, feel free. I'll follow your lead.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He has not responded to me in weeks. I have no clue what he is up to.