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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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 Posted:
Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:22 am |
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Read the fine print and get on with it! 
The information contained in this thread is for general guidance on matters of entertainment only. The application and impact of replies can vary widely based on the specific facts involved. Given the changing nature of emotions, blood alcohol content, subsequent attention to detail, and the inherent hazards of electronic communication with a reckless moderator, there will definitely be delays, omissions and/or inaccuracies in information contained in jose's replies. Accordingly, the information in this thread is provided with the understanding that the authors and publishers are not herein engaged in rendering legal, accounting, tax, medical, psychological, marital, or other professional/unprofessional advice, services and/or responses. As such, jose's replies should not be used as a substitute for consultation with professional accounting, tax, legal, medical, psychological or any actual competent advisers. Before making any decision or taking any action, you should seriously reconsider your mental stability, and seek professional counseling.
While jose has made every attempt to ensure that the information contained in this thread has been considered from a perspective of pure inebriation, jose is not responsible for any errors or omissions, or for the results obtained from the use of this useless information. All information in this thread is provided "as is", with no guarantee of completeness, accuracy, timeliness or of the results obtained from the use of this information, and without warranty of any kind, express or implied, including, but not limited to warranties of performance, merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. In no event will jose, his related partnerships or corporations, or the partners, agents or employees thereof be liable to you or anyone else for any decision made or action taken in reliance on the information provided by jose or for any consequential, inconsequential, special or similar damages, even if advised of the possibility of such damages.
jose makes no representations as to the accuracy or any other aspect of information contained herein, because he was, is, or will be, intoxicated beyond the legal limit, in Ireland (or Boston), during the Saint Patrick's Day Parade, while attempting to answer any of your ridiculous questions. < B8er is my intern, and also quite inebriated, we're still covered under the disclaimer.  |
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“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
Last edited by jose_cuervo on Mon Mar 02, 2015 3:53 am; edited 2 times in total |
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B8er
Associate Boomdazzler
Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 13625
Location: In self-isolation practicing social distancing
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:44 am |
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Why? |
_________________
"I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
"all chaps are ass-less by design otherwise they just be leather pants" - jose_cuervo
x 5    
                                   x 335  🚽
 x 4  x 1746  x 1904 - Fake cheques: $4,392,620.83
Team Woody - Ghana to Singapore - 11535km |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:48 am |
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If you have to ask, then you probably didn't have a valid question. I suggest 24 ounces of palm wine, and call me in the morning. |
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“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck |
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B8er
Associate Boomdazzler
Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 13625
Location: In self-isolation practicing social distancing
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:58 am |
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^^^Ah, so it's serious questions only then
Would you rather have sex with a goat, and no one knows you did it or not have sex with a goat, but everyone thinks you did it? |
_________________
"I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
"all chaps are ass-less by design otherwise they just be leather pants" - jose_cuervo
x 5
x 335 🚽
x 4 x 1746 x 1904 - Fake cheques: $4,392,620.83
Team Woody - Ghana to Singapore - 11535km |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 8:07 am |
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That depends on whether it would be a male goat or a female goat. I (personally) have no preference, but specificity of the answer depends on the gender of the goat.
Next question. |
_________________
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“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck |
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KissOfDeath
Elite Baiter
Joined: 19 Aug 2013
Posts: 1289
Location: Back in jose_cuervo's ... um, arms
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:24 am |
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Next Question --
Dear Jose:
I was recently told by a certain incredibly attractive and insanely sexy cowboy that he has goats and knows how to use them … ("That is all.")
Can you please tell me what he meant by that? [/tease] |
_________________
Victims Always Come First
 
x14 ~ Assorted
x33 ~ Assorted
x78 + x3 ~ DT
x789+959 w/Team BaconBoi ~ "This charge-back/reversals is now getting on my nerves." ~ "What exactly are you? Why are you fooling me?"
Gadgeteer Grad  05/29/15
2015 Co-Winner w/Nick Roper
“What the hell is wrong with you?”~"Stop playing games with me okay" ~ PartyBoi w/Team Sley
“jose and KoD, Eater's <strike>most vomit-inducing</strike> cutest couple” ~ TheLoneHaranguer
Last edited by KissOfDeath on Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:06 am; edited 6 times in total |
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B8er
Associate Boomdazzler
Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 13625
Location: In self-isolation practicing social distancing
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:31 am |
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^^^ That probably also depends on the gender of the goat. |
_________________
"I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
"all chaps are ass-less by design otherwise they just be leather pants" - jose_cuervo
x 5
x 335 🚽
x 4 x 1746 x 1904 - Fake cheques: $4,392,620.83
Team Woody - Ghana to Singapore - 11535km |
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Capone
** REMEMBERED **
Joined: 16 Feb 2013
Posts: 10596
Location: Blackacre
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:07 am |
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Wonderful disclaimer, BTW. |
_________________
X 73 Eco-friendly sty under construction
x 116
Fake law firm sites killed x3
500 in 6-walked
 
 x4
 Atlanta-Las Vegas -Seattle-San Diego-Seattle 2.0Atlanta-Jackson Hole, WY, Atlanta-Aspen, CO-with Juan
Ghana-Bouake with Choppa and Dr. Mike
Courtesy of SH Ivory Coast!
Accra-Lome with Choppa
Ghana-Burkina Faso with Choppah
 -Accra-Singapore Team Woody
"no! no no money!!! all this was not true! .. "- vlad rant
" i have complained to those who think life is a comedy to those who feel life is a tragedy. " Mr. Pekkar's Problem
Go Gold! |
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bware419ers
419Eater Admin
Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Posts: 21302
Location: Searching for the Platinum Piggie
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:18 pm |
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Questions:
1. Have you stopped taking your meds?
2. Now that I have seen the pics, do you really think that will fit?
3. Which pair of shoes should I wear with this outfit? |
_________________
| SCAMWARNERS | PREMIUM | REQUIRED READING | REPORT BANK ACCOUNTS | FOLLOW 419EATER ON TWITTER
X 7035
 X 17 
"FFS." - Capone
- Toomuchfun
- Irishemigrant
"I started to read it but got bored after the first couple of sentences." - SOOI
"Remind me not to get on your bad side." - jose_cuervo |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:20 pm |
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Yes, yes, it's very likely, red, if it feels good I tend to keep trying, and thank you... But not necessarily in that order.
Next question. |
_________________
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“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck |
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username1939
Something the mods dream up
Joined: 22 Apr 2014
Posts: 906
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:04 pm |
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Question:
Will you pour me a drink please?
Oh and pass the popcorn please |
_________________
< --- my first
x5
< --- my first pink
x4
Go Gold
Never you insult me again. Never you write such to me. I am not begging you into this transfer, if you do not want to work with me call it a quit and never you write such to my mail box again.
Have a nice day. Mr. Richard Michel |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:17 pm |
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Certainly, as soon as is stops raining in Hanoi.
Pass the popcorn is a statement, not a question. Wrong thread.
Next question. |
_________________
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“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck |
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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:23 pm |
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[quibble] The fine print needs to smaller. [/quibble]
This thread fills a much needed gap.
Eta - where do baby goats come from? |
_________________
Fakers: many, many, lots; an SSL and a couple of Resellers.
x 6
AH, AH, AH! Two little ! |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:27 pm |
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Baby storks.
Next question. |
_________________
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“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck |
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bware419ers
419Eater Admin
Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Posts: 21302
Location: Searching for the Platinum Piggie
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:33 pm |
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I'm thinking of losing my virginity. Do you have suggestions on keeping the mess to a minimum? How much time will be required? Is a new mirror in order? |
_________________
| SCAMWARNERS | PREMIUM | REQUIRED READING | REPORT BANK ACCOUNTS | FOLLOW 419EATER ON TWITTER
X 7035
X 17
"FFS." - Capone
- Toomuchfun
- Irishemigrant
"I started to read it but got bored after the first couple of sentences." - SOOI
"Remind me not to get on your bad side." - jose_cuervo |
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B8er
Associate Boomdazzler
Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 13625
Location: In self-isolation practicing social distancing
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:35 pm |
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Should United play 4-4-2 or 4-5-1 at the weekend?
ETA: Bonus question - I've found bware's virginity, should I take it to Antiques Roadshow for a valuation? |
_________________
"I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
"all chaps are ass-less by design otherwise they just be leather pants" - jose_cuervo
x 5
x 335 🚽
x 4 x 1746 x 1904 - Fake cheques: $4,392,620.83
Team Woody - Ghana to Singapore - 11535km
Last edited by B8er on Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:37 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:37 pm |
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@ bware,
You will need to find it first.
Brawny - it's the "quicker picker-upper".
Just Cold cand do it in less than a minute.
Only if B8er wants to watch from the hallway.
Next question. |
_________________
~
“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
Last edited by jose_cuervo on Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:39 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:39 pm |
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| B8er wrote: |
Should United play 4-4-2 or 4-5-1 at the weekend?
ETA: Bonus question - I've found bware's virginity, should I take it to Antiques Roadshow for a valuation? |
Both.
Bonus answer: make a photocopy and leave the original in a safe place.
Next question. |
_________________
~
“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
Last edited by jose_cuervo on Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:43 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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bware419ers
419Eater Admin
Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Posts: 21302
Location: Searching for the Platinum Piggie
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:41 pm |
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4X1X9
Baiting Guru
Joined: 17 Sep 2006
Posts: 5905
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:42 pm |
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Should I stop baiting and get on with my marking? |
_________________
I can sense tunes of unnecessary logic in your mails, meaning that you can never work with us to actualize this project no matter how we try to convince you - Mr. Chidi 0kpala
You will have to munch the statistics of the transfer so I can give to them - Mr. James Hessom Hessom
If not that you only hide behind computer and be playing prawns with us - Benny Clifford
 France - Luxembourg
x26 - 2012 x258 - 2013
x263 - 2014 x160 - 2015
x204 & x1 - 2016
x177 - 2017 x81 - 2018
x85 - 2019 x9 -2020
(Grand Total 1,262) |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:45 pm |
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Only on Thursdays.
Next question |
_________________
~
“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck |
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B8er
Associate Boomdazzler
Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 13625
Location: In self-isolation practicing social distancing
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:49 pm |
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Red or Black? |
_________________
"I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
"all chaps are ass-less by design otherwise they just be leather pants" - jose_cuervo
x 5
x 335 🚽
x 4 x 1746 x 1904 - Fake cheques: $4,392,620.83
Team Woody - Ghana to Singapore - 11535km |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:52 pm |
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Green - double 00s
Next question. |
_________________
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“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck |
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Big Al
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Dec 2011
Posts: 5054
Location: Winter is Coming....
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:58 pm |
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What is the average speed of a fully laden swallow? |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Thu Feb 19, 2015 2:08 pm |
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The swallow doesn't percieve time in the same manner as the cast of Monty Python, therefore: speed, and lading do not enter into a swallow's consideration, when preparing to travel.
Next question. |
_________________
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“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck |
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