Andy <3's Tubi

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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2014 8:44 am

It's been awhile since Andy had any fresh fish. He found himself a new guppy to play with and her name is Tobi. I shall call her Tubi(tubby).

He's using pics of Lana Brooke, the scammers favorite porn star.

All spacing in his script emails added by me.

Quote:

Hey, I’d say thanks for the notes we share, At 31, I would like to think I've already seen some of the most handsome men in the world. Yet here i sit, trying to determine if after all this time, I'm just now seeing "THE" most handsome man in the world.

I realize pictures can be misleading at times. the certain angle, light, look on one's face. Many factors lead into a "great shot", but at the same time, people can look very different in everyday normal life. One's demeanor and personality is not addressed at all in photos either. With all that being said, I'm still completely taken by yours.

I would be beyond honored to explore a relationship with you if you're at all interested. I realize one could never ask for much more from a complete stranger. Obviously there has to be attraction, chemistry and a certain comfort level between people for anything to go any further. I think i can safely say upfront that comfort level won't be an issue, but all else remains to be seen, of course.

Therefore, I can also say that there are no anterior motives or expectations beyond meeting and looking at a relationship. I'm someone you won't be sorry you met, (Can't say the same to you! Razz

) even if we were to walk away and never see each other again. I just have this incredible desire to meet you. Just to walk away saying that I have, would be a dream come true within itself.

Respectful, professional, trustworthy, dependable, good listener, supportive, a true gentlewoman and a real friend...just a few adjectives I would like to think describe myself. I realize we all have our different tastes and preferences and if you're not open-minded, I may not look like someone you envision yourself being with - but hopefully, still someone you wouldn't mind at least getting to know. No demands, no pressure. You won't be disappointed.

Maybe I'll hear from you soon. I'll let you decide if I'm worthy of at least making the "friends" list or not (LOL!).However, I'm sure you get tons of messages everyday and I won't be offended if I don't hear from you. I feel much better simply having the opportunity to show my interest, whether ever reciprocated or not.i hope i didn't scare you anyway. did i touch ya heart? hope to read soon from you. better still send me more pictures of you i would really love to see more of you. Be safe, be bless, and always be determined

your Tobi Cares.

Hi Tobi,

Wow, you're a beaut! You remind me of a girl I knew back in high school. I wasn't the nicest to her then but I always wondered if she grew up pretty like you see on those before and after shows that Maury does. You sure did! So you told me lots about yourself kinda but not really. Where are you from and what do you do? I'm a cruise ship captain. I work hard for a living. Well I hope I hear from you soon!

Andy

Quote:

Hello, How are you doing? thanks for keeping in touch, I'd really love to know more about you and see where it leads to, Well I'm Tobi Nicholas by name. never married and 31 years age, raised in Birmingham AL. I describe myself with a lot of qualities.(No shit.) I am a little shy at first when i meet someone, I'm will also describe myself as a sweet, caring, Loyal, thoughtful, loving and fun at times I can be charming.

I am a pretty laid back Lady with a great sense of humor. (I believe a sense of humor is a necessity of life) i enjoy sunsets, nature, long walks, Ocean breezes, Reading poetry and the way air smells after it rains. I have black hair and blue eyes, I’m '6feet. And currently weight about 125 pounds. i gained about 15 pounds after some time and have not lost it yet and still trying not to. I am single and have been for almost 2 years now, it took me about a year and a half to stop missing my ex-boyfriend then i try to move on with my life.

i believe life has so much to offer; it really needs to be enjoyed, experienced and lived, Too many people just go through the motions. I like experiencing a wide variety of lives and enjoy both ends of the spectrum on a number of different continues. I have lived enough to see the ups and downs of life, but even though I've experienced my fair share of pitfalls, I believe (and others around always tell me as well).My past wasn’t so fun. But being a strong I’m a bighearted lady. I’m God fearing and I believe in HIM,

I'm an adopted child, I was adopted because i lost my mom during my birth, I don’t really know my Dad, he left me at motherless home, he was more interested in moonshine and raising another family. since my mom was gone. My home was like hell, they treated me terribly, they made me do all things and treat me like, it was a hard time on me. I couldn’t find anyone to help me. her family was cruel, they kicked me out, it was very hard on me then, it made me a strong lady, I had to move in with a friend back in College, She was into modeling. I couldn’t find work not until i involved myself in gemstone business to survive, it wasn’t a dream Job.

I’m presently in Nigeria, I came down here for my business. I’m a Christian lady and i have been keeping my body for the right man only not for a married man that all he ever wanted from me was sex. Well, what I'm looking for is a honest and dependable man to trust and love for the rest of my life. I want a lifetime love that will last till the eternity. i want someone that will treat me like a queen and never make me cry beat me or hit me. I’m seeking a loving and intelligent man that cares about there lady.

I believe in 50/50. i want someone that i will love with all my heart and have him love me back, someone that ready for lifetime love and get married build our own family. I’m looking for a strong man with gentle heart, that i can stand by in good time and bad. i want a romantic and passionate man that believes in Chemistry and someone i could treat like my king. I want a best friend, a lover. Do I describe you? Are you the man? Tell me about yourself and don't hesitate to ask me whatever you want to know about me, I’m an open book.But will i ever hear from you again ?? i bet not but it's okay if i don't read from you again i know every here are to play pranks and hurt everyone. better still I'll check back to see if you write..Be safe, be bless, and always be determined hope to hear back from you soon, Tobi

Hi pretty Tobi,

Nice to hear from you again. It's great to read the flowery novel you wrote for me! Are you a writer maybe? I bet some company would pay you to write greeting cards or something. You should look into it! Well, I will tell you some things about myself but only once you're all done telling me all about you. Something tells me you have lots left to say. Did I tell you yet that I think you're very pretty?

Do you have any pets? I have a dog onboard with me here. Her name is Toots. She's an English bulldog. She was a really expensive puppy. She cost me extra too. Anyway, I had to get doc to take a look at her today because she started foaming at the mouth and I was really worried that she'd gotten poisoned or something. We are on a big ship but don't have a vet. Anyway, she's fine thank god! Turns out the silly thing ate a urinal cake! Haha!! Damn dog. Can't take her anywhere.

Well I hope you're having a nice day. Talk to you soon!

Quote:

Getting to know each other Hello Dear, How are you doing? hope all is well with you. thanks for staying in touch. you sound so amazing. I'd like to learn more about you and see where it leads to, Well I’m single with no kid, but that some of my expectations in my nearest years. I'd love to talk on phone someday but my phone i would need to get a top-up before i would be able to call you or receive calls but you know i cant do that from here, I cant just wait to know you more and see what it takes to meet you someday.

I have had two rough relationships that doesn't lead any where. The first guy was an alcoholic, he kept beating me every night after he had drunk, i couldn't get along with him i had to drop out, the second guy was a Jerk, he hurt me terrible he made a lot of promise and i trusted him, i later found out he’s dating my room mate, its crazy, i caught them sleeping with each other its part of life, i had to move on, i am new to this internet dating so i think with you i would know if it really works or not.

I'm just Looking for an intelligent, hardworking, loving, honest and dependable man to trust and love for the rest of my life, a man that is ready for lifetime love, someone that will take very Good care of me and treat me like a Queen. Well here are some question i would love to ask this time i hope with time I’d know more. Let get to know more about each other and see what happens?

1- How tall are you?
2- What is your favorite sport?
3- How long have you been single for?
4- What nationality are you?
5- Why did you join the dating site?
6- What was your longest relationship and how did it end?
7- Where do you currently live, and do you live alone or with family?
8- Are you close to your family?
9- Do you have any brothers and sisters?
10- What is your best feature?

I look forward in hearing from you. hoping that i would find someone whom we would get along fine together and hopefully someday start a family of our own, i know the distance might be too much but i believe in Trust, honest and communication, those 3 things would be every good thing that comes out of a good relationship, and seeing what comes out of it, hope to hear from you soon. Be safe, be bless, and always be determined Tobi Cares Tell Me More

Dear Tubi,

I have sad news. Toots has taken a turn for the worst. Turns out she didn't eat just one urinal cake but 6. They pumped her stomach and gave her charcoal. So far she's unresponsive. Please pray for Toots. Take it to church and add her to your prayer list please.

Love

Andy

Quote:

hun thats ok i'm praying for her already and i believe Toots would be fine ok. Hi Darling, Glad to hear from you again, I must say i am really impressed at least you keep in contact with me.. Here i stand....

1- 5 FEET 6 INCHES
2- BASEBALL AND FOOTBALL
3- ABOUT 3 YEARS NOW
4- PROUD AMERICAN
5- FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT AND THINK I COULD GET MY BETTER HALF ON THERE
6- ABOUT 4 YRS, EX CHEATED
7- LIVING IN NIGERIA ALONE,
8- REALITY SPEAKING I HAVE NO ONE TO CALL MY FAMILY OR RELATIVES 9- DUNNO IF THERE IS ANY SOME WHERE, I HAVE BEEN ALONE MY WHOLE LIFE.
10- MY HEART.

I hope I'm able to answer the few questions. hope that helps anyway. we really need to know a lot about each other. i can see we have a lot in common hope you wouldn't mind me asking some more question,.. I'm full of questions..LOL !!

11. I'd like to know what you looking for in a woman or perhaps if you were to be In a relationship with someone what are the things you would look out for ?
12.And how do you feel about long distance relationships ?
13.How would you treat a woman you love so much ?
14.Do you believe in true love ?
15.Are you the kind of man that easily gets angry or upset with your partner ?
16.Are you romantic ?
17.Do you like kissing and Cuddling ?
18.Do you ever consider having more children or settling down later in a committed relationship with someone ?
19.Do you believe in commitment ?
20.if you found the right person for you what would you do ?
21*Have you ever hit a woman before ?

Well to answer the questions i asked you so you know my own opinion also i am looking for a man that would love me for me and not take advantage of me , Someone that would never treat me bad or do me wrong ,someone i can trust and give my heart out to without fear or doubts ,someone that would appreciate all i do in the name of our love ,appreciate me in every way. Not someone to jilt me,someone who has dreams and Goals and Knows what he wants in life and someone who will be there for his family and not be a coward and run away from his responsibilities as one and about long distance relationships

i believe its a way of getting to know each other before meeting and also a test of Both peoples Fate,s to see how strong they can build a relationship and be true to each other and stay committed and i would treat my man with lots of love and respect ,for he would be my all and everything,my king, i may not be the best at loving a person but will do all in my Power to love him with my all and yes i do believe in true love and its even more to get me upset and angry but a warm kiss would do the trick and i am romantic to the bones.lol and love kissing and cuddling so much and would love to have kids of my own someday and settling down and yes i do believe in commitment and for the last question i will wait on your answer, Stay cool till i can read from you again. Theresa Cares

Dear Tubi,

Thanks for your concern. And listen, no offense, but I'm really not feeling like playing the whole twenty questions thing right now. My best friend is dying. I could use a friend right now. Have you ever loved a dog like it was one of your kids? Have you ever lost a pet? God, this is killing me.

Love,
Andy

Maybe he'll stay and play. I hope so. Andy has some questions of his own! Very Happy

Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2014 5:13 pm

Ha ha I love it when they change height, weight and other descriptions about themselves.

First she was 6ft tall and weighed 125lbs AFTER she gained 15lbs. Now, I am 5'5" and 120 and think I am slender but add 7 inches and I would look like a holocaust survivor. She took the shrinking pill and is now at an average height. Laughing

I can't wait to see what Andy pulls and if his friend Merrill is going to be around to try and steal his lady love. Razz

Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2014 5:14 pm

Quote:

like i said dont worry she's gonna be fine ok. is there any improvement

Dear Tubi,

There's no improvement yet. I slept in the sick bay with her last night. She whimpered all night. Just broke my heart. I'm onboard my ship right now. I told you I was a cruise ship captain right? Fortunately, we're only about 75 nautical miles off the coast of Florida right now. I live in Miami when I'm not at sea and that's where my vet is at. So my vet is coming out today on my personal yacht to get both of us. I'll take her to shore so I can get her treatment that doc can't provide. He's great but a people doc. You didn't say, do you have a dog?

Thanks for being there for me. It's helping more then you know. You really are a sweetheart!

Love
Andy

Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2014 5:41 pm

SBAH wrote:

Ha ha I love it when they change height, weight and other descriptions about themselves.

Me too! She's been single for two years. No wait, make that three! Does she have black hair? And I did think that 125lbs was wicked skinny for a 6' tall woman. I'm 5'6" but 130. I can't imagine weighing that at 6'!

We spend so much time getting our stories just right and they barely pay attention to their details. I do think at times that they're looking to see if a Vic will call them out on the discrepancies so they can tell if they have a smart Vic or a gullible idiot on the hook. Although I may be giving them too much credit.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 5:49 am

Well, he's off script but being lazy with his one line emails and that just won't do.

Quote:

if i may ask what nationality are you and when do you think we can meet Rolling Eyes

....no i dont have a dog

Dear Tubi,

I'm a Red White & Blue American just like you babe. I don't know about meeting just yet. I mean, we kind of just met each other online here and you're all the way in Nigeria. We need to get to know each other better first before we go rushing about. And there's the fact that my best bud is dying and all.

Sorry, I guess I'm being selfish in our conversations a little aren't I? I won't always, promise. I do have questions for you too. It'll have to wait till tomorrow though. I just got Toots settled in here at the Vet Hospital. I paid for a private room so she'd be in peace when she goes. I've spared no expense. Nothing is too good for my Toots. Sadly, my vet doesn't think she'll make it. I'll let you know in the morning how she's doing.

Thanks again for just being there. I know we haven't had the chance yet to talk much but I can already tell that you're a very caring woman. That's what I was looking for when I signed up at that dating site. So you don't have a dog. That's tragic. You should go get one now. You do like them right?? Surely you've had some kind of pet before. Tell me a story about it. It'll make me feel better.

Love
Andy

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 5:23 am

Tubi is boooorrriing... I've been trying to get him to write more then a sentence at a time. He's pretty lost without his scripts though so I'll soon reinforce his stupidity, if I don't drop him for other reasons.

Quote:

yeah i had a cat but i gave it out to a junior friend of mine who asked me for it because that is the kinda person i am....... so if i may ask how is Toot doing....is she responding to treatment. i have some questions for you ok.

Dear Tubi,

Toots is getting worse. Now she's having seizures. She starts whimpering really loudly then her whole body goes stiff and stays that way for nearly a whole damn minute. It just really breaks my heart. When she comes to she has this dazed look in her eyes like she doesn't know where she is. Oh and get this, now they're saying that someone might have actually fed her the urinal cakes! The housekeeping onboard says they haven't been using any cakes for 6 months so the only way she got them was for someone to give them to her. I swear that if I find the fucker that did it I'll kill them.

I'm sorry babe, excuse my language. I'm very upset right now. Speaking of that, weren't you upset to give away your cat? Didn't you love it? I couldn't just give away something I love. Did you cry? Did you ever miss it? See that's the kind of story I was hoping you'd tell me. You used to write me long beautiful emails about things. Have I upset you somehow?

Love
Andy

Quote:

no you have not upset me. how is Toot doing now

Oh. I thought I had because you're not really talking to me. You're just sending one line like we're on chat or something. I don't think we can get to know each other like that do you? You said you gave away your cat but how did that make you feel? Did you cry? Did you regret it? Did you miss it? What was its name? What color was it? Did you get it as a kitten? See, it's all of these things that will let me learn who you are as a person and that's really impotent to me babe!

Toots still isn't doing good. I think I might end up having to do the worst thing ever and put her down. It's a horrible decisions I have to make. I don't know what to do.

Love
Andy

Quote:

yes i cried and missed her so much so i wished i never gave it out so i know how you are feeling right now. it was a white color and her her name was simbi. hun how is Toot feeling now

Dear Tubbi,

I'm not good. I think today's the day. The vet called me at 3am and said he didn't think she'd make it through the day. I've been up here at the vet hospital with her since. I just stepped out to grab a coffee and email you. I knew you'd want to know. And honestly, having you there to talk to is a godsend.

Thanks for telling me a little about your cat. It's a start but we're going to need to work on those communication skills. Thanks for being a friend to me. Even with all I have going on right now, I think about you often during the day.

Love
Andy

Quote:

so sad to hear but why dont you look for a better vet doctor who would help you take care of Toot.....well i have a pet doctor who i could refer you to and a very expert one but the bills are always expensive.

You do??? Where are they located?? Do you think they could help her!? I don't know. It might be too late but I'll try anything at this point.

Quote:

contact this email [email protected]

Who is this person? Can you please answer my questions? You know, I don't like when I ask questions that aren't answered. It makes me feel like you don't want to talk to me Tubi.

--------------

Good morning Tubi,

I'm getting desperate here... Please tell me what you know of that person ok? Is that the vet? Where are they at? I want to know from you what you know about them. I don't care how expensive they are. I'll pay anything to keep my lil buddy alive! Please get back to me soon. Things aren't good and we don't have much time.

Love,
Andy

Quote:

i have told you that is the vet so just email them ok

You didn't tell me that was the vet. You just sent me the email and told me to email it. I will email them because I need help. So thanks.

Look, you don't seem very interested in me anymore based on your emails. Am I wasting my time here? How are we supposed to get to know one another if you never talk? I was looking for a woman that I could fall in love with and hopefully meet at some point. If you're not interested anymore could you let me know please?

Andy

Quote:

to be honest i want to come back to UK and i dont have enough cash for ticket so i need assistance, i need loan.

Crap, did he just go all beggar on me??

Oh, so you didn't want a relationship. You don't care about me or Toots. You were just talking to me because you needed money?

Let's see what the 'vet' is offering...

Hi my name is Andy S. I was given your email by a friend. She said you are a vet or you know a vet that might be able to help my dog. She's on her deathbed from being poisoned! She's an English Bulldog. I'm not sure what info you need at this point. Where are you located? I'm in Miami.

Thanks
Andy

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 9:52 am

This one gets an "E" for effort. Lazy ass. Is he using a phone?

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 1:09 pm

The worst thing about this is that I felt so horribly sorry for Toots while reading along, well knowing it was just a fictitious creature Cool

This is very well written, a 100 % realistic , I hope very much the lad will go on; could be interesting where this might lead to.

Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 4:07 am

Hey MG! Welcome back and thanks! Very Happy

Capone, not sure if he's on a phone or not. He is lazy as they come though. He saw his mistake however and now he's wanting love. Funny that the expensive vet hasn't emailed back.

Quote:

honestly i want a relationship with you and i really want to see Toot for real and i dont want anything to happen to her. hun i had a cat before so i know how it feels for you to be loosing Toot ok. my needing money is just a coincidence so try an understand me ok. so how is Toot doing......

Dear Tubi,

I'm glad to hear you say you are wanting a relationship too. You kind of caught me off guard there. I grew up with parents that had a lot of money so I was always 'that rich kid.' People even called me Richie Rich from the comic books. I hated it. Anyway, I got taken advantage of a lot. People would pretend to be my friend just because I had all these cool toys and stuff. It hurt you know? People still do it sometimes. I only work so people think I have to. And plus I love sailing so that's a bonus. Have you ever been on a cruise?

I know you want to meet and see Toots but don't you still think it's too early? I mean you don't even know anything about me. I could be a psycho serial killer. I am really starting to care about you and I think you need to be much more careful about meeting people on the internet. It's dangerous to just rush off to meet someone you barely know. Of course, I'm a nice guy... Just saying. Plus, what about going to the UK? And what about your job in Nigeria?

Toots is hanging in there but hasn't improved. Basically the vet says that the machines are all that's keeping her alive right now. I'm really upset that I haven't heard anything from your vet. I emailed him and he hasn't replied. I told him she was on her deathbed. This is why I was asking you questions about him. If he's not an upstanding, trustworthy, dependable person then I can't trust him to care for her. Can you call him and tell him to get on the ball?

Love
Andy

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 5:11 pm

Nothing from the vet so I sent this:

Please help me!!! My name is Andy. I wrote a few days ago about my dying bulldog. I am disappointed to have not heard from you yet. My uncle was a vet for 30 years so I know how your business works. You take an oath just like real doctors. The rhinocratic oath that says you are required to treat her. You can't turn us away. Please respond to me ASAP!!!

Andy

And got this...

Quote:

Hello but sorry i am out of the country now so what exactly do you think i could do about it

Wow... What is your problem???? Do you care about animals or not?? How was I to know you were out of the country since you didn't respond to my first email? Geez... I guess my girlfriend should stop recommending you. I will let her know. You should try having a little more sympathy with people when their animals are dying. I need your help and was willing to pay whatever it cost but I only work with people that care about their patients!

Back to Tubi...

Quote:

Hi Dear. Good to hear back from you and sorry to hear about Toot so how is she doing now............, i just want to share some views about relationship, Relationships are very hard, people grow and change with time. people dream to achieve their goals. To have a solid relationship the two must commit to it, they must work at it and try to find the middle ground between them, People must be able to give and take and to trust that the relationship is what is most important.

If a career, a goal or an idea becomes more important then the relationship itself wont fail, the two must nurture and care for the relationship like you will always do for a flower. feed it always, water it and help it grow with lots of love, attention and sunshine. Communication is necessary and most important should be trust and honesty no cheating or lies.

I'm looking for my best friend, a companion, a sultry lover, a man who will respects me as i do to him, I'm a hard working lady and will always work harder for my relationship. will work through the good and the bad side of it, The man to share life with and know he cares for me and i can care for him. I look for peace and harmony.

They say true love is a fragile issue, when you have it takes hard work to keep it shining or else it will lose its glow, people need to know it very well before jumping into it that’s why there has been a high rate of divorce this days, People don’t seem to have a very good communication, they need to create time to share things with each other and express themselves on how they truly feel, Sometimes partners act very selfish and self centered that they don’t carry themselves lover along in what they do and it seems that they just shut the world out on them, I want a man that can make me feel secure, a man that wherever and whatever we go through his love will never change, a man that without telling me with words i will see it in his eyes that truly loves me.

So before i say I WILL in front of a priest then i want it to be the final decision i will make. Well i have to drop here i hope you enjoy reading from me, you have heard i need you to tell me about your views about relationship. then my job i am done with my job thats why i am coming back home ok, your goals and aim, I'd be waiting to read from you soonest, take care of yourself and remain bless. Warmest regards Tobi

Quote:

hello why are you not replying my email. how is Toot doing

Hi Tubbi,

Sorry I haven't emailed you. I think I hit a hard blocking wall. Too much stress can do crazy things. Toots is no better. What the hell kind of vet did you send me to?? You said it was a really good vet and they sent me a message about being away and what did I expect them to do like they didn't even care!! Really I was shocked. Do you know this person personally? Please tell me what you know because I need help for Toots!!!!

I'm really happy to read everything you said about relationships. Especially about communication. That's really important and in my opinion, the solid bedrock foundation for the structure of a good solid supporting relationship because even if you have problems, doubts, trust issues, when you have a good solid communication foundation set up with your loved one you can always work your way through tough things no matter how difficult they are or even if they stretch and distort the limits of the relationship. You and I see eye to eye I think. About a lot and I think that's a really good start for us!

Well I have to run to the store. I've got a few things to grab for the house and some errands to run. I haven't paid any bills since Toots got sick and things are starting to get behind. I hope you're doing ok. We never get the chance to talk about you. I'll send you some questions I have in a little bit.

Love
Andy

I forwarded him the email from the vet.

Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 2:01 pm

Quote:

honestly i dont know what to do about toot but i am also concerned. i would have contacted the vet myself but i dont have access to call because i dont have much money, would you be able to send 50 pounds to me so i can ring the vet on phone if you really care about vet.

Dear Tubi,

I'm not sure how much pounds are in dollars but isn't that a lot to make one phone call? Besides, he hasn't answered my email again so screw him. If he wants my business he can write me his damn self! I guess he's making too much money to care about one dog.

Toots is not doing good still. Do you think I'm doing the right thing? Keeping her alive on machines? Is that selfish of me to do or should I pull the plug and let her die and be at peace? I'm so torn about what to do!!

I really could use a hug right now. Wish you were here...

Love
Andy

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 1:09 pm

Quote:

no thats not a lot in dollar so it should be around 90 dollars. hun lets do this fast to save Toot ok, and please dont let her die ok. can i send my details so you can send the money via western union and lets save Toot before it gets late ok

Lovely Tubi,

Please don't worry dear. I'm not going to be using that jerk of a vet you recommended. I'm sorry if that person is a friend of yours or something but you saw how he talked to me. He hasn't replied to me. He'd have to come begging at this point and prove he's a good vet for me to even consider him. So I've asked a vet here that another friend recommended for a second opinion. If he says there's no hope I will have to put her to sleep. I'm devastated. My best buddy gone. When I get back to my ship I'll be finding who did this!!

How are you doing? How are things with your work? Why are you considering quitting? Like I said before, I'm sorry we've not got to talk about you because of my crisis. I'd like to know all about you.

Love
Andy

Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:04 pm

Ok, so I got a little carried away. I wanted to see how far I could take this one since he is so boring. The result was unexpected!

Quote:

what would you like to know about me............ like i said i would have
to introduce you to another vet thats why i said i need to make some
international call first ok. how is Toot doing

Dear Tubi,

I really do appreciate the offer. You are a sweetheart for being so
concerned! This new vet comes highly recommended from an old friend of mine.
All I need from you now is happy vibes and prayer. I hope you have your
whole church praying. She needs it.

On to you. I suppose I need to start with a little of my background to
explain some of the things I need to know. They may seem odd but you'll
understand after I explain. I've only ever had three serious girlfriends in
my life, Monica, Rachel & Phoebe.

All three were a disaster and have made me very cautious when it comes to
how I approach relationships now. Monica ended up sleeping with and marrying
my best friend Chandler. Rachel, kept going back to her ex, Rick or Ross or
something, but she mostly liked to shop so she was only after me for my
money. She slept with my friend Joey too. Phoebe was the worst of all and
the most recent. She did some things I can't even explain but have made me
feel the need to get questions answered from any potential girlfriends. So
if you don't mind I have a few questions. I apologize that they are so
personal. I will answer them for you of course if you'd like me to. So here
goes...

1. Do you have any kids you haven't told people about?
2. What are your views on abortion without telling the father?
3. Have you ever/would you ever strip or prostitute?
4. Have you ever been arrested? For what?
5. Are you involved in anything illegal?
6. Do you do drugs? Have you ever?
7. What kind of drugs?
8. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease (STD)?
9. If we live together, would you agree to getting regular STD tests?
10. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend? Explain.
11. How do you feel about cheaters?
12. Ever had sex with a woman/women? Explain.
13. Have you ever hit a man in anger? Explain.
14. Do you believe that men can be victims of abuse by women?
15. Are you willing to live a 'traditional' lifestyle?

Well that's all I can think of right now. I'm sure more will come to me.
Please don't be offended by my questions. Talk to you soon.

Love,
Andy

Quote:

Brotherly nawa o. Gimme sites na make we work together.

Who knew Tubi was a fan of the tv show Friends?? Laughing

Or maybe it was the list of questions. Either way I don't think I should pass up the opportunity to play with him. However I suck at pretending to be a lad!!

Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 10:29 pm

Quote:

I've only ever had three serious girlfriends in
my life, Monica, Rachel & Phoebe.

That had me cracking up but OMG I am going to be cautious with my cultural references now! Damn those interwebs and yousetubes!!

Who are our resident pidgin whisperers?

Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 12:20 am

^^ I knew it was a risk when I used all of them but I figured what the hell. I could still talk my way out of it just haven't decided if I want to yet. If I go with playing a lad I'll be one of the more educated variety. I can fake my way through lad babble. Kinda. Lol

Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 5:21 pm

lol: You can totally play with him, he must think you are another lad! At least that is what my very, very little understanding of pidgin translates to.