I need a lawyer

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419Eater is my life Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Posts: 274

Or at least someone who is fluent lawyerspeak.

It is a long story, and I'll tell it if there is any demand for it. Basically, a flunky from my bank embezzled some money instead of wiring it to the lad like he was supposed to. The bank is happy to just terminate his employment and wash their hands of the guy, but the lad wants him jailed ASAP. (He has a good reason for this, but it is part of the long story.)

Anyway, the lad is threatening legal action, so I could use someone to play a member of the bank's legal team. (I'm already playing 5 characters in this bait and my creative resources are getting drained.)

Thanks.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I'm game if you still need someone.

419Eater is my life Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Posts: 274

Excellent. That put some fresh air into a stale dying bait!

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 3:20 pm

Jayhawk - Be sure to use the legalterms "obfuscate", "eleogabulous" and "sultes es" (you are stupid, in Latin)

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Hey Bruin, who's the imaginary lawyer here? Laughing

Of course there will be lots of legal mumbo jumbo. Right now the lawyer is working hard on a case pro boner so I won't have time for the lad to fool around and drag his feet.

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:41 pm

I see you recieved your x-mas gift in spite of being cursed.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ Yeah, I think the wizard that put a death curse on me for Christmas was a fraud.

Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 12:23 am

Don't forget "obfuscation", "pro se" and "fishical year" -- is it possible to "meditate" this dust-up?

Fake lawyer? I'm happy to help. Laughing

419Eater is my life Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Posts: 274

Dammit, Jayhawk. I wanted a lawyer to help smooth things over between me and the lad. Now he's throwing curses at me.

I should publish this bait when it is over. It's turning crazy now.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

This lad is a keeper. I think I may have baited him before. Godbob, now he is telling me that you are a homosexual. He wants to know when I am going to have you arrested.

419Eater is my life Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Posts: 274

He's one to talk. I just do the pitching. He's doing all the catching.

Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 3:25 pm

Is Arbitration out of the question or does a judge need to decide on everyone's sexuality?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Well, he just told me that Jones has admitted to him that Jones will be sending the money he stole to the terrorist group A1-Bundy, and I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I told him we didn't have enough to arrest the thief Jones, and without terrorist ties to A1-Bundy Jones would go free, and the lad would not get any consulting fee. I'm sure that had nothing at all to do with it. Rolling Eyes

Homeland Security does not take stuff like terrorist ties lightly.

419Eater is my life Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Posts: 274

He's lying!

Jones may be a drug addicted sex fiend, but he's not a terrorist.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

After I told him that I couldn't do anything to help him financially because we could not arrest Jones he sent me the following:

HE HAS JUST MENTION IT NOW, THAT HE WILL SEND THE MONEY A TERRORIST GROUP

Now who am I supposed to believe godbob, you or him?

419Eater is my life Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Posts: 274

I don't know. He's pretty convincing. He might be right. Perhaps it is time for Jones to get arrested. The lad is having a rough time today and he needs to see a little hope.

Of course the lad doesn't get paid unless you can actually get a conviction...

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Not to mention that a spectacular jail break by Jones may be in the future.

Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:28 pm

Does he have the requisite mens rea?

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 2:03 am

^^^ Well, it is rather hard to only negligently break out of jail, so I'd say, "yes." Wink

How about a Shawshank Redemption escape. So, how does your character feel about crawling to freedom through 500 years of sh*t-smelling foulness? Of course it would be more fun if the lad had to do that (but for my amusement rather than crawling to freedom), but some dreams will never come true . . .