Speed Dating David - Slightly NSFW

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Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 3:36 pm

This lad contacted me on FMF and I thought he was long gone. A few days ago I put my name in for a mass bait, and when the lad wrote, I mistook him for our target - otherwise I probably would not have given him the time of day. Now I am chuckling over how this has turned out. Keep in mind this has mostly taken place over three evenings...

But here is the initial contact on FMF. I had to go back through notes to find it!

Quote:

05-28
Subject: hi
Hello,how are you doing

Not a promising start, eh?

hi there! im doing good are U in the military? have 2 say i think miliarty uniforms are dam sexxy. thank U so much for serving our coutry!!! Tell me about Urself! I love men who can write more than just a line or r2 so plz tell me about urslef here first ok? i keep getting creepy guys wanting me to do the skype or txt thing and all they want to do is talk about sex and i am a descent girl and do not do that kk?
- K

Quote:

.what do you do for living.Am a military man currently on deployment,am a man of myself.do you use yahoo messenger

05-29
Subject: RE: hi
OMG are you trying 2 get me 2 yahhoo to do the sex chat thing? I told u i do not do that. it like U did not even read my note.
Read it again and behave liek a proper gentleman or I will have 2 say goodbye.

Quote:

Subject: RE: hi
What do you mean by the sex chat,I will never do that

05-30
Subject: RE: hi
Good! I'm glad 2 hear U are a gentleman. Now pls tell me about yourself so I can form an idea of who U are. Where is U're home town in the US? Where did U go to school? Where are U stantioned and what is U're life like there? Smile

Quote:

Subject: RE: hi
am david gary,a military man currently deploy to nigeria,i stay in florida and i went to florida state college,what do you do for living,do you use yahoo messenger

I let him chill for a day, while I shook my head over the sheer stupidity of this one. Almost didn't write back.

5/31
David, david davrid....

do we need to start all over? every time you send me msg you ask about yahoo.
I am starting to think U are a prevert who just want sex. that is all they do on yahoo.
Goodbye.

Quote:

Subject: RE: hi
It ok,let continue on here then

Good. i need my man to behave liek a gentleman and not be a prevert liek u find on fb or yoohoo chat or other nasty places.

now i will reward your consideration with more about me.
[standard intro script for my character]
your turn! Smile

Quote:

Subject: RE: hi

Am a man of myself,a military man currently deploy to nigeria to fight rebels called boko haram,I hate lies,I want a caring,honest,trustworhty and humble woman to spend the rest of my life with.I love sport

05-31
Subject: RE: hi
oooh i read about that, are U goint to get those little girls out of that rapist colony?
Good for u babe!! ok, U are a good guy. email me at baiter addy @gmail.com but just know i will NOT accept shat or txt requests because they only lead to smut ok?
email me tell me what sports u like kk?

Quote:

Hello,this david from fishmeetfish.we are trying our best here to get the girls out of the hand of those bitch rapist.the sport I love most is soccer.hope to hear back from you

Hi David! I'm so reliefed to hear from U! was thinking U got hurt in the bombs. Those bitch rapists need 2 die on there own bombs after what they do to those little girls. i am cheering U on - good guys need 2 win it!!
What is U're fave team? Who is u're fave player?
hope 2 hear from U too but i no u're #1 primordial is to get those girls free from the Boko Haram asshats. Is the president over there really named Goodluck Johnson?
very glad 2 see U are being a gentleman on email.

Quote:

Subject: RE: hi
We are working towards getting them out of the place,am gonna mail you soon

And then silence. Honestly, I'd forgotten all about this one. Until...

Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 3:46 pm

June 4: So out of the blue I get this note, which I mistake for a different lad all together.

Quote:

Thank you k,my favourite team is chelsea football club,my favourite player is Gary cahill,so tell me yours as well

Thinking lad's character is not American, I throw this out:

49ers all the way!!! I have never heard of Chelsea Football - are they AFC?

Quote:

Chelsea fc is a football team in england,so tell me more about yourself,what your favourite car,which kind of house are you staying,which pet do you have,tell me more

At this point, I realize I've chatted with the dummy before. He claims to be from Florida, stationed in Nigeria.

Ah, thta's why I didn't know the football team - England! I was teasing you a bit there. So you need to cheer on American Football teams like Portland Tinker, or Florida Riverview.

Florida Riverview is a high school soccer team.

I live in my mamas house right now becoz i take care of her estate while she is in treatment. Since she can't drive any more, i am driving her Mercedes, but it is getting very old, almost 7, and i will need to buy a new car at some point. I'm looking at the BMWs right now because they are sexier than Mercedes, right?

As for a pet, you know how popular ground squirrels are right now? Well, I have two, a male and a female, called Rocky and Jane. I'm hoping to breed them since the babies are so valuale. Each one can bring up to $300 for the right breed, and they have 10 in a litter. cha-ching!

Your turn! what's your fave food? What do U like to do on a fancy date? What was your favorite movie in 2013 or 2014? Smile

Quote:

My favourite food is fried rice with chicken,i will like to go to cinema on a first date,my favourite movie is arrow.have you ever meet a military man before or do you have any person in military

Lazy, lazy lad, but I am still not sure if he's the massbait target or not. I send in an inquiry.

hi David! my grandpa was a Colonel in the civil war, but he died on teh battlefield during the *battle of Potidaea before i was borned so i don't have any familialarity with the military today. Only what i see in the news. have U ever been on the news as a military man? Coz that would be kind of sexy. i like there uniforms.

OMG i love rice and chicken too! we would get along well especially if we went to cinima together. i like chick flix the best, and arrow was an awesome chicflix. Do U get to watch any movies while u are on deploymenet? how is the search going for the rapists colony? watch out for your,
deariere

*Peloponnesian War 460 bc

Quote:

have been on news as military man when we deployed here,dear,we dont have time to watch any movie here,we just have to stand akinbo all the time...lol,that a military word,we have getting the rapist den,we just want to make all perfect before we can strike them

Seriously, if I didn't think he was the dummy from the mass bait, I would not have pursued this one. I have my standards.

OMG that is sexy i am talking to a star!!! OK i am impressed. I am not familiar with military terms but i know some yoga. If u get tired of akinbo you can try prasarita stance* to release tension a bit. It is good for the anterior fomix** muscles. But U are probably very busy over there, and so i am thinking U are very sweet to spend this time writing 2 me. are they feeding you OK over there? what kind of food do U get to eat in nigeria? Are U able to do any siteseeing? what is the continent like?

i am very excited to write to you. I have never wridden to a sexy military man in another continent before!! Smile

* Pilates/Yoga. Spread your legs, bend over & grab your ankles.
** Female anatomy

Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 3:59 pm

Quote:

they feed us,but i dont like their food

So. David is a man of few words, and at this point should have received several slaps for laziness and I was thinking we were pretty much engaged in an initial chat session here via email. I am trying to get him to give me more info.

bumper. When do U finish this round? do U know when U are coming home? I would love to cook for U! next to chicken & rice, what is u're fave dish?

Quote:

i need some money to get somethings for myself,can you send me some money
i dont know when am coming home,but if you want me home,then we gonna apply for my leave together

OK. Wow. This guy is bad at this. I will encourage it.

hi honey, I'm so sorry to hear - what kind of things do U need, and how much, honey?

Quote:

Tell me how much you have that you can send to me as soon as possible

Are children now getting involved in this? Because I'm guessing his age at around 12 or 14...

honey, I have tons of money - more than i need. The important thing is I will need an account to send it to. Give me your bank details and I will send it when I get off work today dear. And if you know of a fund to help those poor little girls, send me that bank account and I will send a huge donation against the rapists. But i do need you to hurry with that information if you need me to send it tonight, darling. I have a waxing appointment this evening, and i don't want to be late, OK? xo

Quote:

Go and send through western union to this info
(name_ nigerian name),
address_
street
state,nigeria)
can you go and send 1500 now

hi love, i will never use those filthy dirty places. I'm sure you have seen this news by now - it is all over the place here, and especially concerning nigeria

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/25/western-union-investigation_n_4851195.html

but go ahead and send your bank info. It is much safer, my dear, and that way I know the money goes to you David G**** and not some filthy bugger from the street. hurry, darling - i have the appointment soon and this bush simply must go.

Sends some pleas.

Quote:

Go and get it send through moneygram,we can't receive money through bank account,only through moneygram and western union.go and send it through moneey gram to the address I gave you.all is gonna be fine

Quote:

Go and get it send through moneygram,it gonna be secure,just get all the info that you will be given at moneygram to me after sending

hi dear,
That's too bad about the bank account - I was telling my friend Gwen that you are fighting for those poor girls, and she was going to donate $5000 to help get them home, but of course no legitimate person or organization would ever use that kind of place, only scammers. Moneygram is just as bad, and I'm surprised a military man does not know this.I would be very nervious about sending that kind of money to you and having you carry it out of a place that is known for giving away cash - you would be a target, especially as a white man, and thieves would be all over you before you got out the door, if the workers there didn't steal the money in transit.

Well dear, i'm not sure what to tell you at this point. I'm off to my appointment now so I will have to chat later. If I do send something through moneygram, it would have to be a very small amount so you are not a target for thefts. Maybe tomorrow I will try.

xoxo

Quote:

Go and get the amount that you can send through moneygram send,that is the means we use over here,and no ones dare try to attack us.

Quote:

hello honey,how are you doing,hope you had a splendid night.i missed you through out the night dear,try and get the little money send through moneygram as soon as possible,and as soon as you get it send,drop all the info to my mail box,i love you so much dear,,,much kissesss

Ha! Lad's first attempt at sweet talk.

Hi dear!

Well, it took a while because there doesn't seem to be a moneygarm store in town so I had to drive a bit, all the way in to Dallas. From the ranch, that's a long way - i really hope you appreciate it.

I sent the money in your name because you wrote some gibberish in the name slot before. Since you're in uniform and you won't be targeted, i changed the question and answer to this:

Quesstion - "Who do I seek"
Answer - "Boko H@ram Girls"

I'm sending $500 because it isn't enough to attract a lot of attention but should get you through the next day or two until your unit can grow a pair and give you what you need, dear.

I'm off to the mall. Have a really sweet day, my dear!

I'm anticipating a flurry of frustrated emails today. Yawn. Maybe I'll check in tonight to see if he got the moneygarm.

Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 5:05 pm

^^^

bitch rapist? Is he calling the little girls bitches? Evil or Very Mad

I love the commentary in your baits.

Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 5:15 pm

@SBAH that's what I thought at first, but honestly I don't think this one has enough command of the English language to know what he's saying. I played it as calling the BH members bitches, and left it at that.

This one may be dumb enough to start filling out forms. I've been trying to bait without props, but I need a bit of practice with some of the tools available. I do think this bait is providential, in a sense - giving me practice while my longer baits are warming up to the money shot.
Rolling Eyes

Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 6:17 pm

^^^^ Forms are good. I haven't used any myself, but there are others who are good and having their lads fill them out. It does waste their time, and if they don't have a scanner, a waste of their money. Laughing

Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 4:48 am

Crickets for a couple of days...

hi love,

I haven't heard from you but hopefully the money arrived safely. Please do let me know, kk? i don't like the thought of you getting mugged for that money on the way out the door, dear. It isn't enough to warrant violence.

xo

I get a couple of blanks from him. From this point forward, when he sends a blank, it will be represented by this icon

Confused

Quote:

hello dear,there is no mtcn in what you send to me

Quote:

Hello honey,you did not send the mtcn.kindly get it to me,I just came back from patrol now,sorry for mailing you late

OMG sorry about that!
[random 10 digits]

Quote:

Hello babe....you gave me 10 digit number instead of 8 digit.....Are you pulling my legs or what ....hope to read back from you.....

Seriously honest mistake. I was dealing with another bait using WU. Ooopsie!!

Quote:

Hello honey,go and get it done now,and send it to this address..
Name(),
address()
and get back to me after you done.love you so much

Gee whiz, back off. I'm watching Netflix.

That's the secure transfer number they gave me. I think you use this with the user name I told you - D@vid

You have to go to [50 page hell web address] and enter your user name and password. They sent me a receipt, which I've attached. When you log in, you need to enter MY email address in the "sender" box since I am the one sending you money. Use the login exactly as noted there - D@vid - and the mctn or whatever you want to call the password - it is the number I sent you before.

Sorry, I didn't realize you were not aware of the secure payment transfer services for international transfer. I just learned about it but figured in the military they would help you with this.

Hey - quick note, and I'm sure u know this but the US played the Nigerians in football Saturday and we WON!! In case you didn't see the game, the Nigerian team played badly and looked like a bunch of little boys next to the big Americans. Altidore was an amazing player and scored both goals. Do you get the football games there, or did you follow it at all? I bet if u did, U were cheering on the USA and watching them win. Go USA!!

For the record the lad didn't enter a single thing. And I'm taunting every one of my Nigerian lads who claim to be Americans.

Lad tries a different tactic.

Quote:

Honey you don't have to send international transfer.....go back to get your money and go to western union or MoneyGram outlet and resend it....they will give you the digit number for mtcn which is 10 digit while MoneyGram is 8 digit....once you do that just give the digit number and your full name and state city zipcode and address....hope you understand me honey.....I love you

Quote:

Send the senders name and the address to me and send your mobile number as well honey

Hi babe,

I will go back and see. They said if it is going overseas I have to do a secure transfer. I'll ask again. I think the place started with Western - ack, I am so stupid about this stuff. It was in the store and I didn't pay attention, so maybe it was the Westeruninon place since it was 10 numbers they gave me.

I will start over. sorry about that.
xoxoxo

Confused

This one uses blank emails as if they were the buzz button on chat.
Confused

ok it was the western union place not the money whatever. Go back with the information i sent and use the 10 digit. Sorry for the confusion my dear. i just knew that there was the place that sent money in the store in Houston and I didnt pay careful enough attention to which one it was.
xoxo

Quote:

There is nothing there...I track it and nothing is there.....resend the mtcn number and your full information

Oh my god this is a pain. Why are you not able to track it? Who are you talking to that can't find the money? Where did it go? I am seriously fed up with this Money Union nonsense. I will make the drive back in to Houston tonight but only because I have to get the Mercedes detailed. Honestly this is a paint in the patootsi.

Don't you have an easier way of dealing with money? You must have a military account I can post to, right? Honey just say the word and I will go down to the military base in Houston and tell them you are in trouble and they need to locate you and bring you supplies. What on earth are our tax dollars doing these days??

Help me here, dear. I am trying to do you a favor but your suggestions are not working out well.

Quote:

Baby don't go to military base did you want to get me jailed for asking you money.....just send it correctly and give me the info.....I love you

Quote:

The mtcn can not be found dear,what's gonna happen honey,

My dear, you need to be a bit more patient. I told you I would be in Houston tonight. It is not night yet dear.

I'm starting to get very frustrated with this, and now you tell me I could get in trouble for sending you money because you asked and you are a military man? I'm not sure I want my name floating around on a MCTN receipt for blackmail by some unscrupulous Nigerian Western Gram or whatever business.

Darling, it sounds to me like this is fishy business. I'm really more used to dealing with banks. Email me if you want to try something more legitimate, OK? I'm going to cancel my trip into town until tomorrow.

Love,
K

Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 5:49 pm

Go to jail for asking for money? That's a new one!

Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2014 8:41 pm

Quote:

Hello honey,have you been to the western union

Honey, I answered in my last email. Go back and read it!

Quote:

Hello honey,what going on,haven't you resend the money

Baby didn't you get the email from me? I sent you the things U needed to know. Go back and look for it. it may be in your pram box?

Confused

Quote:

Honey,I did not get mail,may be you should resend it dear.have you resend the mony and hope you have the correct mtcn with you

write me a poem. I like it when U talk sweet to me. No money talk today ok baby? I am so weary of it. Surely by now you either got the money or your unit stood up to the challenge. The money place says it went through fine and someone picked it up already. I hope the $500 helped.

poem, darling. I love poems.

Quote:

I did not see any money,is better you go back to western union and collect your money back

WHAT??? Honey, they said the money was picked up already - what happened to the money?? I can't get it back, it was picked up!

You have authority as a US Armed Froce member. Go in there and demand to know what happened to my money. Unbelievable!! I'm so glad it was only $500 and not the $2000 I was going to send originally. Those places are crooked, and I should have known better.

Let me know what they say, OK? See if you can get that money please.
xoxo

This must have caused consternation - I received
Confused

plus one email with just his email address in the message area. I like how bad this one is at emailing. It adds a lot of plausibility to my accusations.

Quote:

Hello honey,call me on this number so that we can talk cos I did not receive any money..+234XXXXXXXXXX

I am at work and can't make personal calls, but even if I could, that looks like a long distance call? Honey send me your American phone number so I can call that instead.

I'm really mad about the money. Not that it's gone, but that some criminal has it. I want you to tell me what your plan is to get that money back before I send any more. Just email me your plan, OK? You don't have to tell me on the phone. I would really rather you go with my plan, which i think is much safer. I can send you money to a bank account instead, and that way you don't have to worry about your money being stolen. As it is, I refuse to wire you any more money through one of those criminal outlets until you figure out why it disappeared. Send me your plan to get the money back, or send me your bank info so I can make a direct transfer. Your choice, my darling. I'm heading back to the office - we have a very wealthy client coming in today and I am schmoisting him with fwah grah goose, cavitiar and champaign. The appetizers alone are costing us over $1000 but he's worth the schmoisting if he becomes a solid paying customer.

I'll check in later dear.
xoxoxoxo

Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 3:11 am

Quote:

I want you to call me as soon as you leave work.

Such demands. Let's see... what constitutes 3am lad time? Ah, blessed be the googles.

Will do, dear. I get off at 8:30 due to the appetizer shmoisting with the client and probably a few drinks. I will call then, my love.
xoxo

Quote:

Are you not calling me aagain

ooooopsie! Did I forget to call you at 3am? Oh honey, I hope you didn't wait up.....

june 13

oh CRAP baby i have such a hangover today. i forgot i was going to call you - sorry. we were actualy pretty drunk. Let me get past this horrendous headache first, ok? Wow what a party, but we signed a $400k deal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

waited a bit...

David, I spoke with the original company and they said someone filled out the secure form I sent you and got the MC number thingy you were asking for, and that's how someone was able to pick up the money.

Honey, what happened? I sent that to you specifically, and you let someone else have access to the form??? Why would you do that? The money was for you personally. Or do you think you were hacked? Please figure out who has access to your email or your form, and when they picked up the money. Honestly this is such a pain in the pituitary.

We're on a three day binder celebrating this new client and our success. I'll check in on Monday or Tuesday dear. And I am NOT going to use these silly money union places any more. they are simply too easy to break into, dear. What will you do for cash now? How much do you need?

Ta dear. Off to party. xoxo

...because it's always the lad's fault...

June 14

Quote:

Call me now

Dear Now,

Well, since "now" has obviously passed, and I have no idea what time it is in your collarbone of the woods, I'll restain.

Honey, shall I try another secure transfer? You don't seem to have control over your email account (I suspect you've been hacked and that's how they got into the site to use it to get the mctn number) but if you want me to try again tomorrow I will.

You're not very good at reading my emails - I have asked you a couple of questions you haven't answered yet.

xoxo

So at this point, I'm basically practicing all of the goofy ways I can pretend to send money, and testing the outer limits of this lad's patience and greed. In other words, I'm having fun!

Quote:

Get another money send tomorrow to this info
Name
Address.
send through normal western union
And after sending,send me the mtcn,senders name and address and question and answer.love to hear from you soon honey

Will do, darling. $500 again?

Quote:

Send $1000 honey,I have to settle some debt as well,don't make any mistake honey,don't use any international transfer,use normal western union store or outlet and send to the address I send to you earlier and send me back the mtcn,senders name and address as soon as you send the money.love you so much

Hi baby,
here's the info - she said to scan the receipt for you so you have what you need.
xoxo

(sent with a 20mb attached bogus file since RL is busy and I'm being really lazy)

Confused

=really starting to think the blanks are due to the HUGE downloads I'm sending him. Now on a mission to collect blank emails for maximum lad pain.

Quote:

hello honey,how are you doing,i dont need any receipt,all i need is the mtcn,senders name and address with question and answer.get it to me now honey

Hi baby!

So I went to the Western Union store and they had a GREAT solution. I filled in your name on the form, and they said if you come in and show ID, they can give you the whole $1500 without any need for that silly question and answer stuff. She said just show your military ID with the MCT number in the receipt below and you can pick it up with no problem.

I sent $1500 to cover whatever else comes up.

NOW: read my emails and answer the questions I asked, OK honey? Smile

xoxo

(sent with a 10mb inline ginormous fake WU receipt with his scammer name rather than the Nigerian name he's been asking me to use.)

He sent 9 blanks so I know this caused some major technical issues Confused

, plus

Quote:

Don't scan anything to me honey,just send me the mtcn,senders name and address and question and answer.that all I need

Hi!

I got a bunch of blank emails from you with no message. Hopefully U got the number from the receipt babe. Just go get the money now!! xoxoxoxo

Resent with the 10mb inline image Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 4:30 pm

I am so glad you're having so much fun. I am putting together a female profile now and will post on the weekend. You've given me a lot of interesting ideas that I am going to incorporate into my baits. I need to get on the Google and find some pictures. I forgot where to get them. I need a low level actress to snag pictures from. My male character is a local weatherman but I want to start baiting as a female. Been going through a lot in RL and need a lad to take out my frustrations on. They're always good for that. Laughing

Your baits have really put a fire under me to start baiting again! Thank you Kitty for being so awesome!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 02 Jun 2014 Posts: 73

There are some face morph programs/apps that work well to make pics from.
I love this bait. I get excited when I get an email saying the thread has been updated.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 17 Feb 2014 Posts: 42

Did the lad give up or did he figure out that he was being baited?

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 6:34 pm

All of my lads are unusually quiet this week. I do have a bit of an update on this one, but I try to wait until I have a few days' worth of material so I'm not "spamming" the board. I suspect they are watching the World Cup & immersed in the global party... Wink

Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 6:35 am

Great stuff!

Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 8:24 am

This is giving me ideas when my guys insist on wu or mg. Nice way to totally confuse them.

Had a major flashback when you mentioned Riverview...I graduated from there in the mid...lotsa years ago. Smile

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