The frustration of Jack Kumba. Pt1

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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2004 2:51 pm

This started out as a straight bait, and was not really interesting enough for publishing. That was... until the bait took several strange twists. It's a good example though of a typical straight bait that delivered some nice trophies. It all started when the good Sister recieved this....

Quote:

FROM Mr JACK KUMBA.
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
INTERENATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA.
LOME - TOGO.

I am Mr Jack Kumba, the accountant general in charge
of auditing and accounting section of INTERENATIONAL
BANK OF AFRICA LOME-TOGO.IN WEST AFRICA.

With due respect and regards, I have decided to contact
you on a business transaction that will be very
beneficial to both of us at the end of the
transaction.

During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my
department came across a very huge sum of money
belonging to a deceased person who died on October
1999 in a plane crash and the fund has been dormant in
his account with this bank without any claim of the
fund in our custody either from his family or
relations as he did not put any body's name as next of
kin when he was opening this account before our
discovery to this development.

Although personally, I kept this information secret
within myself and partner to enable the whole plans
and idea be profitable and successful during the time
of execution.The said amount was USD$14m (fourteen
million united states dollars).
As it may interest you to know, Your contact was given
to me by divine aspiration.I decided to contact you in
order to champion such a business magnitude without
any problem.Meanwhile all the whole arrangement to put
claim over this fund as the bonafide next of kin to
the deceased,get the required approval and transfer
this money to a foreign account has been put in place
and directives and needed information will be relayed
to you as soon as you indicate your interest and
willingness to assist us and also benefit your self!
to this great business opportunity.

In fact I could have done this deal alone but because
of my position in this country as a civil servant, we
are not allowed to operate a foreign account and would
eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the
time of transfer because I work in this bank. This is
the actual reason why it will require a second party
or fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin
with affidavit of trust of Oath to the bank and also
present a foreign account where he will need the money to
be re transfered into, on his request as it may be
after due verification and clarification by
designation bank account.
I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is
100% risk free. On smooth conclusion of this
transaction, you will be entitled to 25% of the total
sum as gratification, while 5% will be set aside to
take care of expenses that may arise during the time!
of transfer and also telephone bills, while 70% will
be for me and my partners. Please, you have been
advised to keep top secret as we are still in service
and intend to retire from service after we conclude
this deal with you.

I will be monitoring the whole situation here in this
bank until you confirm the money in your account and
ask me down to your country for subsequent sharing of
the fund according to percentages previously indicated
and further investment, either in your country or any
country you advice us to invest in.All other necessary
information will be sent to you when I hear from you.

I suggest you get back to me as soon as possible stating
your wish in this deal.
Your telephone and fax number will be need for our easy communication

Yours Faithfully
Mr. Jack Kumba

This letter really did �peek� the good Sisters interest. Here�s her reply�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Brother Jack

It is with much confusion that your e-mail came to my attention. As serving administrator for the foundation, first of all allow me to bestow our blessings upon you and your family.

It is with much interest that I read your proposal. As you are probably aware the Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation was first set up in 1972 in order to donate resources and monetary aid to the many starving children of the world. As of last year, our foundation has managed to raise and then donate just over $45,000,000 to deserving charities.

Father Benny Dictus first saw the plight of the starving children whilst on Missionary duty in Ethiopia. It was upon his return that he contacted our good father in Rome, who gave him the go ahead to set up the foundation. Unfortunately shortly afterwards he sadly passed away, and never saw the full fruitrition of his dream. It is to this sad end that the Sisterhood took a vow of silence in his honour.

Although chiefly a charitable organization and mainly concerned with redistribution of funds, the offer that you have proposed has let us say, �Peeked our interest.�

Before we can enter into the matter and give your proposal serious consideration. We would however require certain assurances from you that should our foundation be successful in assisting in the release of this money, that a small percentage be put aside in order to set up a trust fund for the children.

Having said this, I am sure that you are a man of sincere integrity. I shall look forward to your reply on this delicate matter. May God be with you? (Amen)

Sister Teresia.

As you can see I soon get a reply. Note his reference about contributing a share to the Children�s fund. This guy is really generous.

Quote:

Dear Sister Teresia,

Thank you so much for your mail and I am most
impressed that you are interested in this transaction.

Well let me introduce myself to you, I am Jack Kumba,
Married To Carol Kumba and we have three kids
two boys and a girl, my wife is a Nurse and work in
the General Hospital here in Lome.

It is very important to let you know that I have every
necessary informations of the bank and where this fund
is deposited, in this respect should you be very
interested in this transaction and promise me
sincerely that you would not cheat me, if this fund be
transferred to your account as would be provided by
you.

As you are aware trust, beleive and sincerity is the
key to succees in this transaction. I really agree to
your opinion by setting out some percentage for the
children's fund, but the only thing left for us now is
to have this funds in our custody, of which I know and
beleive that by the grace of almighty God, we shall
surely succeed in this transaction.

Please be informed that as soon as we conclude, I will
forward to you a Text Letter of Application which you
fill and send to the bank requesting for the transfer
of the fund to your account and I will be there to
guide you on what to say and do at all times until
funds arrive in your account.

Immediately this money is confirmed in your account by
you, I will come over to your country for sharing and
investment, it is important for you to understand that
this transaction requires absolute confidentiallity
until funds are transferred to your account, therefore
I will advice that you keep this transaction to
yourself.

It is important that you and I talk on phone for more
details and for further actions to commence.

I will look forward to hearing from you soonest.

Wishing you God's blessings.

Warmest regards,

Jack Kumba.
Direct Line.
00228-925-22-41.

His letters are still following the Mugu�s script, so I try to tempt him off it by providing him or one of his cronies an extra opportunity to try and scam more cash.

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

Dear Brother Jack.

It truly is with the Lords blessing that your letter arrived on my desk.
May I take this opportunity to thank you for such a speedy response to my
letter.

The sisters and I pass on our blessing to you and your lovely family. It is
of great interest; that your wife Carol should be a Nurse. I too started out
life as a Nurse many years ago. I held the position of first
Gynecologist�s Scrubber at St Mary�s in Manchester for nearly ten years. It
was shortly afterwards that I received Gods calling, so I had to lay down
the forceps for better things. Mind you I sometimes get the urge to go back
and assist in order to just keep my hand in. Dr. Prostrate often remarks
that I was the best scrubber in the hospital�even to this day.

You didn�t tell me the ages of your children in your letter, are they
attending school?
As you are aware, our foundation was primary set up to assist the children
of the world, managing to raise and donate up to $45,000,000 so far.
Children, we feel are our most important assets and should be cherished if
we are to save the world from it�s own destruction.

It was to this end that Father Benny Dictus, who incidentally loved
children, particularly young schoolgirls (God bless him) first started the
foundation after a visit to Ethiopia and saw their plight.

This is why your proposal sounds so appealing. Please forward more details
plus any relevant paperwork so that we may proceed with all haste.

I also have a slight favor to request. The Fiscal year is nearly upon us
and there is still a limited amount of funds still waiting to be donated.
The foundation would be very interested in securing a small plot of land
(about 100 Acres or so) in order to build a Children�s Clinic and Sunday
school. As you are in the Banking business, would you know of any
developers that would be interested? Off course I do realize that you have
more pressing business, but I would rather the 15% commission that the fund usually pays for such matters, be collected by a good family man such as yourself.

Please contact me soonest. May the Lords blessing smile down on you. (Amen)

Yours Sincerely

Sister Teresia

His reply started out full of promise, but soon reverted back to the �script.�� And he hasn�t taken my new bait�yet.

Quote:

Dear Sister Teresia,

Thanks for your wonderful mail, which I beleive that
with faith and honest mind towards this transaction,
we shall successfully conclude this transaction on a
satisfactory manner and hope to meet soon in your
country to know each other very well.

With regards to your mail, I noted the fact that you
have experienced life being a Nurse. Meanwhile, the
ages of my children are:

James Kumba. (23)
Lucky Kumba. (21) <��..Not like your dad love!
Cecilia Kumba. (1 Cool

James & Lucky are in the university, while Ceci the
youngest is still in Secondary School.

Find below the prepared text of application, You will
send the Application/Letter of claim below to
the funds transfer Dept-Foreign Operations as the
funds beneficiary. The account number containing the
fund is 911-4177-00-505 and the secret deposit code is
IBA.VOL2122.96ST.

The necesary things have been effected regarding this
claim by my self and colleagues here in the bank such
that as soon as this letter of claim is received the
dept will act accordingly.This serves as an order for
payment of your deceased relations funds to your
account as next of kin.

Please mind the confidentiality of this transaction,
under no circumstances should you reveal it to anyone
for security reasons, Mind how you discuss this issue
to people in order to avoid awarness of what we are
doing.

-----------------------CUT----------------------------
ATTN: DR. KEFFI CABANDA.
HEAD OF FOREIGN OPERATIONS
INTERNATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA
LOME REPUBLIC OF TOGO.
FAX: +228-226-04-90.
E-MAIL:[email protected]

Sir,

APPLICATION FOR THE CLAIM OF $14m(FOURTEEN MILLION
UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) FROM FIXED DEPOSIT ACCOUNT
NUMBER 911-4177-00-505.

I humbly request your urgent attention in the release
of the above stated amount deposited in your bank by
my deceased Nephew/partner.

MR.TOM WALKER,
EXECUTIVE CHAIRMAN OF
TOM WALKERS SARLs.
IMPORT EXPORT.
LOME-REPUBLIC OF TOGO.

I am Mr/Mrs................. the heir of the family
and next of kin of the stated sum.

The Account Secret Code which was left in my
possession is IBA.VOL2122.96ST.

I am sorry for the delay in the claim, this was due to
family problems which were Ongoing and which have now
been resolved.

I wish to inform you of the family's urgent need for
this funds as I solicit your kind attention in this
matter and request you to transfer the funds into my
account detailed below.

NAME OF BANK:....................
ADDRESS OF BANK:.................
ACCOUNT NAME:....................
ACCOUNT NUMBER:..................

Thank you for your anticipated co-operation

Yours faithfully,

Your Name and Signature
TELEPHONE NO
YOUR FAX NUMBER
YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS

-----------------------CUT---------------------------

Type this text above out on a plain paper and Fax it
to the bank with this number: 0228-2269-04-90. AFTER
FILLING THE SPACE FOR YOUR BANK'S INFORMATION so they
can act on it and get the funds transfered on your
instruction.

Let me know once you do this. My direct telephone
number is +228-925-22-41. (Duhh Hello�we�re a silent order remember?) I have decided to send it
via mail for obvious reasons.

Immediately you send the application, email the
director to confirm if the application have reached
him, and tell him to treat it as urgent.

Regards,

Jack.

So I give it another go at tearing him away from his script.

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

Dear Brother Jack.

It was so very nice of you to respond with such urgency. A very refreshing change from the usual snail�s pace that such business transactions tend to move along.

First of all let me thank you for taking the time from your busy schedule, to send me details of your lovely family. I bestow the blessings of the Holy Sisters upon them all.
You are indeed fortunate to have children: Something that is for me forever denied, although I do consider myself to be a Mother of thousands.

Now back to business�

Am I to understand? That I need to provide the details you sent me and post them off direct to a�
Dr Keffi Cabanda
International Bank of Africa.

If this is the case then I must ask for your 100% secrecy on this matter. As you are aware the transaction will entail several lies and untruths being told. This puts me in an embarrassing dilemma. As a member of the Holy Order it really goes against my holy vows and beliefs! However I am sure the good Lord will no doubt forgive me should I tell a few whoppers, being as it is for the sake of the children.

If you could send me written confirmation, swearing upon the blessed book, that you will keep this matter strictly between ourselves and swear to tell no one, then I shall proceed with all haste. Also, perhaps you could send me a photo of your beloved family, and then it could act as a reminder of why I am doing this.

I shall await your confirmation�May the Lords favours descend upon you.

Yours sincerely

Sister Teresia.

I think its working because the writing and grammar are definitely getting more Mugu�ish.

Quote:

Dear Sister Teresia,

Thank you very much for your mail and the content was
well understood.

Please note that you have my word,I will never ever
tell any person of your involvement in this
transaction but you should also assure me that you
would not open this transaction to any other person or
persons other than you but for me you have a
trusworthy person and I swear I will never in my life
disappoint you one bit this is a promise.

I am sending to you my family picture for you to know
that I am hundred percent serious,I believe you are
God sent,who is worthy of being trusted and let me
inform you that I have prayed over this transaction
therefore I am assuring you that you have nothing to
be afraid of the good lord is with us.

Please send the text to the bank immediately and get
me informed without delay,note that for adequate
confidentiallity you should henceforth call me only
00228-903-82-19 and also send to me your telephone
number so that I will call you immediately. ( Duhh�Hello again�we�re a silent order still!)

I look forward to hearing from soonest.

God bless you and always pray for my family.

Warmest regards,

Brother Jack.

Then he enclosed this picture of his family�I think not! Never mind I�m sure he�ll send me a better one later.

Quote:

Dear sister Teresia,

Please find attached my family picture and I do hope That you will send your picture to me aswell. Please Inform me immediately you send the application.

God bless you.

Yours in him,

Brother jack

This looks as though it�s been scanned from a magazine�probably �The Haberdashery Monthly� judging by the curtains there wearing.

Time to reply to Jack and to start giving him problems.

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

Dear Brother Jack.

Thank you for your speedy reply as usual. I do hope this letter finds you all well and in good spirits.
I received your photograph and it has warmed the cockles of my heart to see what a fine family you seem to have. It has left me in no doubt whatsoever that you are indeed a God fearing man and will endeavour to see this transaction through to a satisfactory conclusion.

I have prepared the document as you suggested, but I have hit upon a couple of problems.

I�m afraid that if I Fax the said document to the bank as instructed, then I would have to use the Bishops machine and then he would be made aware of our transaction, and thus thwart its satisfactory conclusion. Would it be possible for me to send it by e-mail at the address provided, or forward it on to yourself and then perhaps you could fax it on my behalf?

The second problem is the phone. As I explained in my earlier letter, we are a silent order and telephones are forbidden in the grounds of the convent. We did have one installed a few years ago, but Bishop Everhard had it removed as it proved too much of a temptation for some of the younger novice�s.

I hope this isn�t too much of an inconvenience.

Anyway I have enclosed the letter to the bank for your inspection, so I shall await your guidance on this matter. May God shine down on you brother and grant to you that which you truly deserve.

Yours Sincerely

Sister Teresia.

I attach my copy of the letter to the bank for his inspection. I wonder if he�ll pick up the fact that I give him a mention.

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

Sir,

APPLICATION FOR THE CLAIM OF $14m (FOURTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) FROM FIXED DEPOSIT ACCOUNT NUMBER 911-4177-00-505

I humbly request your urgent attention in the release of the above stated amount deposited in your bank by my deceased Nephew/Partner.

MR. TOM WALKER
EXECUTIVE CHAIMAN OF
TOM WALKERS SARL�s
IMPORT EXPORT
LOME- REPUBLIC OF TOGO

I am Sister Teresia the heir of the family and next of kin of the stated sum.

The Account Secret Code that was left in my possession is IBA VOL2122.96ST.

I am sorry for the delay in the claim, this was due to family problems, which I�m told were ongoing, but now I�m told that they are resolved.

I wish to inform you of Mr. Kumbas urgent need for this fund as I solicit your kind attention in this matter and request for you to transfer the funds into my bank account detailed below.

STUFFIT AND SCARPER PLC
69 GUSSETT COMMON
MUCH GRINDING ON THE MARSH
SUSSEX SU41 9OG

SISTER T GREEN
Acc No�193419-0763-371
Sort Code�77-31-56

Thanks for your anticipated co-operation.

Sister Teresa Green.
Phone No�N/A
E-Mail� [email protected]

No he didn�t notice�what an idiot! But the good news is�

Quote:

Dear Sister Teresia,

Sorry for the delay,please send the text by email to
the bank on this email:
[email protected],inform me
immediately that is done.

Thank you for your interest.

God bless you.

Warmest regards,

Brother Jack.

Brother Jack must have pulled a few strings to get around the Fax and Telephone problem. I suppose that�s going to cost me later�I don�t think!

I sent off the completed documents three or four times and then sent Jack a quick reply.

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My dear Brother Jack.

I hope this letter finds you well. I have forwarded the papers like you requested, but I must admit that it was extremely difficult. I think that my computer may have picked up a virus or something as all the formatting went crazy. I think I�ve got it all under control now thanks to Sister Fellatio�s assistance.

How is your good family today? Please convey to them my prayers and blessings.

Well I must dash off now as the Cannon is paying us all a visit in readiness for the mass of the Holy relic this evening. He is anointing the Holy Finger of St Bernard and deems that all the sisters attend the fingering ceremony rehearsals. God speed my son�I shall pray that you get what you truly deserve.

My prayers are with you.
Sister Teresia

His reply�

Quote:

Dear Sister Teresia,

How are you?hope your are in good condition of health.I just want to use this opportunity to know how far you�ve gone with the bank .Have the bank giving you acknowledgment concerning this tranaction?.If the have done so please let me know immediately as an insider, I will give you other necessary information to see that this transaction would be achieved sucessefully without making any mistake because, any mistake can affect this transaction negatively.

Thanks
Yours Truly
Jack

Well at least he managed to spell his name right�about making a mistake though�I�ll have to think about that one! I reply and try and bait the hook again�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Brother Jack.

God be with you my son.

Yes I have forwarded all the necessary documentation to the bank, but as yet I have received no reply. I hope everything is alright with them, as I tend to get a little uptight when I have to wait so long for acknowledgement.

How is your good family? Please convey to them my blessings and inform them that all the good sisters here are praying for them. Since you sent me their lovely photograph, I cannot get them out of my head and think about their plight everyday.

Mind you that can only be a good thing, to give head to you and your family, it will act as a constant reminder as to why I am doing this.

As soon as the Bank responds to my letter I shall keep you informed.

Whilst we are waiting my dear Jack�have you given any thoughts to my request for the purchase of land? I do hope so as I am sure that you and your family would only benefit from any commission received until this present transaction is concluded.

Blessings upon you my son.

Sister Teresia.

He quickly replies�.

Quote:

My Dear Sister Teresia,

May the blessings of our Lord God Almighty be upon you.

Thanks for your mail, all the contents are well noted. I am suprised to hear from you that the bank has not yet contacted you based on the application sent to them.

My good sister, What might be wrong, are you sure that the application went through to the bank�s email address. I would like you to re-send it to the bank through their Enquiry Dept. e- mail : [email protected] so that they will receive and act on it immediately.

As regarding your request, I have been thinking and praying about the land issue all day, But I know that one day, God will surely reveal how it is going to be done.

But nevertheless, I would like you to state the area where you wish the land could be purchased.

Please, try your possible best to make sure that the application is sent to the bank, and get back to me as soon as you get any response from them.

My good sister, it would be of great pleasure if you can send me your personal picture, at least to know who I am dealing with in person.

I will be waiting for your wonderful response

God bless you and always pray for my family.

Warmest regards,
Brother Jack.

Time to panic him a little�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Brother Jack.

It is with much concern that I write to you. I received your letter earlier today and did as you instructed. I forwarded a copy of the Claim Application, but my e-mail server was unable to send the documents as the address was unknown.

I also attempted to send it to the original address, but that too was rejected.

Please my son, could you please confirm that I have indeed got the two correct E-mail addresses.

(1) [email protected]
(2) [email protected]

Please give this matter your most important attention as I feel we are just wasting valuable time and reply to me immediately. I worry so much for you my brother; I know the hardships that you and your good family must be suffering.

Thank you for your patience. I shall go and dig around in my filing cabinet later and see if I can locate some photographs to send you. But first we must deal with this bank business.

I shall pray for you all. God bless.

Sister Teresia.

I think Jack realises the banks e-mail account has been shut down, so he sends me this�

Quote:

My Dear Sister Teresia,

Thank you for your wonderful mail and the contents are
well noted.

I don't know the reason why the application you sent
to the bank came to be a returned mail. I just want to
let you know that the filled application form which
you forwarded to me for my persual and record has been
sent to the the bank.

So all we have to do is to keep our fingers crossed
until we hear from them. I know that by the grace of
God Almighty, They will surely consider the
application sent to them, and we shall know their
proceedures.

You are advised to get back to me as soon as you get a
better response from them.[ I think you mean�when you�ve opened another e-mail account Jack!]

Thanks and God bless you and your family in abundance,
while I and my family keeps on praying for you too.

Wishing you a happy weekend.

Best regards,

Yours Brother(Jack).

Have you noticed how religious he�s getting?

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

Dearest Brother Jack.

The Lord must be really smiling down on us my brother. I was at my wits end worrying as to why I could not contact the bank. I am so glad that you were able to contact them on my behalf. It only proves that our prayers are indeed answered.

I trust that you and your family had a pleasant week-end. We had particularly nasty weather over here Saturday. The sister�s weekly Snatch grabbing match had to be cancelled due to all the insipid dampness around the playing area. Never mind these small things are just sent to try us.

I have been rummaging around in my drawers and I have managed to find a picture of me which I have attached. It was taken several years ago I�m afraid, at a cross stitch presentation. I shall continue looking to see if I can produce a more recent one.

In the meantime, I have consulted with the Bishop over the land matter and he seemed very enthusiastic, although I never mentioned our other business as I realise that you wish it to be kept between ourselves. He asked if it would be at all possible for you to perhaps forward a detailed map of the area around Lome�especially any areas of interest that are for sale or lease.

I shall pray for you all.

Sister Teresia.

I attach this photo...

Then the bank contacts me at last�

Quote:

ATTN: SISTER TERESIA GREEN.

DEAR MADAM,

FUND TRANSFER QUESTIONNAIRE FOR APPROVAL.

THIS IS TO CONFIRM/ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR APPLICATION IN WHICH YOUR INTEREST TO CLAIM
THE OUTSTANDING DEPOSIT SUM OF $14m (FOURTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) FROM FIXED
DEPOSIT ACCOUNT NUMBER IBA\911-4177-00-505. BELONGING TO OUR LATE CUSTOMER MR.TOM WALKER.

AS MUCH AS WE HAVE NO OBJECTION WHATSOEVER TO YOUR CLAIM ON THE FUND OF OUR LATE CUSTOMER(MR.TOM
WALKER). WE WOULD HOWEVER POINT OUT THAT SUCH APPLICATION FOR RELEASE FOR HIS FUND SHALL GO
THROUGH NORMAL PROCESS OF CATEGORY (A) OFFICIAL QUESTIONNAIRE ACCORDING TO THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM
HERE KEEPING IN VIEW THAT OUR LATE CUSTOMER DIED (INTERSTATE) AND ALSO IN LINE WITH OUR ADMISTRATIVELY
PROCEDURE.

MEANWHILE, YOU ARE ADVISED IN YOUR OWN INTEREST TO FILL IN THE UNDER LISTED INFORMATION AS
IT IS WRITTEN IN THE DECEASED SECURITY FILE JACKET BEFORE HIS DEATH.

1. STATE THE DECEASED DATE OF BIRTH.
2. STATE THE DECEASED DATE OF DEATH/CAUSE OF DEATH.
3. STATE THE DECEASED ACCOUNT SWIFT CODE.

YOU ARE ADVISED TO SEND THE ANSWERS BACK AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS INFORMATION FOR PROPER
VERIFICATIONS AND AUTHENTICATION SO THAT WE WILL EFFECT YOUR FUNDS TO YOUR ACCOUNT DETAILS
STATED BELOW:-

STUFFIT AND SCARPER PLC
69 GUSSETT COMMON
MUCH GRINDING ON THE MARSH
SUSSEX SU41 9OG

SISTER T GREEN
Acc No�193419-0763-371
Sort Code�77-31-56

BE INFORMED, THAT WE WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY DELAY, MISTAKE, ERASURE OR CANCELLATION AS THAT
MIGHT LEAD TO NON APPROVAL OF YOUR TENDERED APPLICATION. WHILE WE AWAIT YOUR SWIFT/URGENT COMPLIANCE
TO THIS SUBJECT IN DUE COURSE.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

MS.GLADYS BRUME (Sec)
CC:DR.KEFFI CABANDA(Director of Operations)
FOR:INTERNATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA(IBA) LOME-TOGO.

Let�s give them a swift kick...

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

To whom it may concern.

I would like to point out that I have never been so insulted in all my forty five years at the church. For your attention I would like to point out that I am a Sister and a holy bride of Christ and it is my wish that I be addressed as such!

I am certainly NOT a Madam as was addressed in your very demanding letter. A Madam in my country is the owner of a Brothel or house of ill repute. I do NOT think that the Convent of the Sisterhood falls into that category!

Secondly your use of the keyboard: It is considered very bad manners to type all in capital letters. This is always interpreted as SHOUTING.

I shall inform Mr Kumba, on whose behalf I am acting, that I shall withdraw from the agreement unless I receive a written apology from MR. Cabanda personally.

Yours Sincerely

Sister Teresia.

Now its time to wind Jack up a little and let him know how upset I am�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My dear Brother Jack.

I hope this letter finds you all in good health. It is with mixed blessings that I write to you dear brother.

I have received a very insulting letter from the bank this afternoon, from a Ms. Gladys Brume (Sec) I have replied demanding an immediate apology from Mr. Cabanda in person.

My dear brother, as you know I am a Holy sister of the church and although broadminded, I cannot deal with such insulting people or derogatory remarks that regard me little more than a common whore. That is all a long way in the past and as a Holy Sister I command better respect.

I shall write to you for further guidance on this matter should an apology be forthcoming.

I shall pray for a speedy outcome.

Sister Teresia.

My e-mail to the bank bounces back as �unknown user.� I wind Jack up a bit more�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Brother Jack.

It is with increasing frustrations that I write to you again. I have made numerous attempts to contact the bank, but all the mail comes back with the following:

Unknown user: [email protected]

I have even tried hitting the reply button so as to be absolutely certain that I have the correct address, but still my mail comes back.

I really do hope that all this is not just a sick joke on an old woman. I am really trying to pull out all the strings to help you and your family, but seemed thwarted at every turn.

I can only suggest that the bank contacts me with a completely new e-mail address. In the meantime here is a copy of the letter I have tried to send them. Please see if you can forward it from your end.

Yours Sincerely Annoyed

Sister Teresia.

I attach the previously written letter I wrote to the bank. Within hours I receive this�

Quote:

My Dear Sister Teresia,

May the blessings of our Lord God Almighty be upon
you.

With much sincerity and regards, I wish to state my
shock on going through the content of your mail.
May I on this effect plead and apologise on the
underminded title which is tantamount to dishonouring
your reputation. May I also seek your comprehension of
the bank being a co-operate body as such may wish to
tablet some figures capitally in most of their letters
as remarking it officality.

Nevertheless, I have been able to whisper to the
bank's secretary on this correction and also vividly
spelt out your person and dignity to her and think the
mistake on that will not repeat itself any more.

From my discussion with more elaboration with her (the
bank's secretary), she at the same time gave to me
this alternative e-mail contact of the
bank([email protected])which though she
stated that both are valid.

Infact, she told me, that she is a typical member of
Roman Catholic and explained to me how and why a
Sister most be addressed in honourable manner.

In another essence, I would have suggested you send to
me the correspondence with you and the bank for my
preview and my own awareness including subsequent
action as to enable us have this issue concluded and
achieving the goodwill as earlier intended.

Once again, I apologise for the dishonour and
inconvinency that this might be causeing you.

Awaiting to hearing from you mostly on your
forgiveness.

Thanks and God bless you and your family in abundance,
while I and my family keeps on praying for you more
and more.

Best regards,

Yours Brother(Jack).

Then the bank also gets in touch�

Quote:

Attn: Sister Teresia Green.
I have received a letter expliaining your bitterness in our address to your person in our last correspondence with you. I hereby applogise to you for such an unmammered approach of misconduct as it was due to our carelessness in the order of address.
I hope you will understand and accept my apology without delay

Thank you for your anticipated co-operation.

Dr Keffi Cabanda
Director Foreign Operations
I.B.A Lome-Togo.

I wait a day or so before replying�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Dr. Cabanda

Blessings upon you this day my son. Thank you for your speedy response concerning our mis-understanding. Your letter was graciously received and noted.

I shall forward the necessary documentation as quickly as possible to your office. However I am unduly concerned with the difficulties that I am experiencing with your e-mail address. My first correspondences appeared to get through without problems, but as late all future letters seem to be undeliverable. I am sure with the good lords help we shall overcome this problem.

Please convey my blessings to your secretary and inform her that all is forgiven.

Yours Sincerely

Sister Teresia

NB. I have yet again experienced problems at contacting you. I have opened up a new address to see if this alleviates the problem. My new address is�[email protected]

I then inform Jack of my further e-mail difficulties...

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

Dearest Brother Jack.

Thank you for your heart warming response. My dear brother there really was no need for an apology on your part. I realise that you are doing everything in your power to assist me and for that I am truly grateful.

I have received a written apology from Mr. Cabanda and the mis-understanding has been cleared up. So may I suggest that we thrust forward with all haste!

What I need now Jack is the following information:

THE DECEASED� DATE OF BIRTH.
THE DECEASED� DATE OF DEATH/CAUSE OF DEATH.
THE DECEASED� ACCOUNT SWIFT CODE.

As soon as I receive the information I can then forward it to the bank.

I also wrote to the bank using their original address, and this time the mail seems to have been delivered without problem. I cannot understand why it couldn�t get through before. You don�t think that our mail is being monitored do you? I have noticed as late that all sorts of funny things have been happening.

Perhaps it would be better if we devised a secret codeword between us. That way I will be able to sort out all the genuine mail from the bogus ones. Am I just being paranoid in my old age? I shall as usual await your advice on this matter, but in the meantime perhaps you should include a codeword. What about my confirmation name? This is only known to a handful of people. So in future I think it only prudent that you include the words� �I like Felletio� in all future correspondence.

I shall pray for you my son.

Sister Teresia.

NB. Dear Brother. I am yet again experiencing problems. Since I composed this letter and the one to the bank. They have both been returned as: unknown user. To this end I have opened a new account. My new address is as follows: [email protected] although my previous address seems to accept incoming mail, for some reason it rejects outgoing mail. I just hope that this will alleviate the problem.

Teresia

Now lets see if Jack response with the codeword.

Quote:

My Dear Sister Teresia,

May the blessings of our Lord God Almighty be upon
you.

I thank you for your mail and understanding. Below is
the answers to the informations required in order to
authenticate the transfer :-

The Deceased� Date of Birth:-
05/07/1947.

The Deceased� Date of Death and Cause of Death:-
11/09/1999. Plane Crash

The Deceased� Account Swift:-
IBAX2JB

Please My good sister, I will like you not to
hesistate to forward this informations to the bank.

I will be waiting for your positive response as soon
as you hear from them again.

Thanks and God bless you and your family in abundance,
while I and my family keeps on praying for you more
and more.

Best regards,

Yours Brother(Jack).

Although he did not use the codeword in the text of the letter�he did however in the subject address of the e-mail. I pass on the information to the bank�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

Dear Dr Cabanda

Gods blessing to you my son. I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirits. Well it certainly looks like things are moving along nicely now. I am still experiencing a few problems with your e-mail addresses, but with the Lords help we are certain to overcome them.

How is that secretary of yours? I was so pleased to be informed that she is a good Catholic. Please convey my greetings to her from one sister to another.

Now back to business. I have the information you require as follows:

The Deceased� Date of Birth:-
05/07/1947.

The Deceased� Date of Death and Cause of Death:-
11/09/1999. Plane Crash

The Deceased� Account Swift:-
IBAX2JB

I sincerely hope that this is to your satisfaction.

You must forgive my asking my dear Dr, but having corresponded with you for quite some time I really know nothing about you. Are you married, if so do you have children? It is really important that I know these things as I am used to dealing with people face to face. It is very difficult for a woman of my age to become accustomed to the autonomy of talking to a computer screen.

If you would be so kind, could you please find it in your heart to take a moment from your busy schedule and perhaps send me a family photograph. I would be eternally grateful.

May the Lord shine down on you my son.

Sister Teresia

They really are on the ball. This arrives the same day�

Quote:

Attn: Sister Teresia Green.

Find attached your Fund Transfer Approval Document. You are advised to comply
with the instructions to enable us effect the transfer of your funds to your
account.

We therefore await your Swift/Urgent Compliance.

Meanwhile, Congratulations.

Yours Faithfully,

Ms.Gladys Brume(Sec)
Cc: Dr.Keffi Cabanda(Director of Operations)
For: International Bank of Africa(I.B.A) Lome-Togo.

Plus another bit of paperwork�

I send my reply�.

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

Dear Dr Cabanda

May god bless you my son. Thank you for your speedy attention in forwarding me the necessary paperwork.

I shall deal with the matter with all haste. I shall be away for the next few days due to the untimely death of Bishop Comefast, but even as we speak I am in contact with Mr. Kumba and we are taking steps to provide you with the account activation fees.

Could you also find out what other costs may be acquired along the way as I need to have an idea of how much this whole thing is going to cost? I know from experience that Attorney�s fees for example can be quite extortionate.

I shall leave my request in your capable hands. May the Lord shine down on you brother� (Amen)

Sister Teresia

And then try and rope Jack into a bit of embezzlement of church funds�.

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Brother Jack.

I sincerely hope that this letter finds you well and in good health. It seems such a long time since we chatted. I have received all the necessary paperwork from the bank.

Now it is of the utmost importance that you read this letter very carefully. As you are aware an activation fee of $1,450 is required before the funds can be successfully transferred. This amount seems suspiciously low to me, so I am certain that there will be hidden charges incurred before its release.

Due to my calling Jack, I do not have any personal funds. However due to the untimely passing away of Bishop Comefast, a new Bishop has taken office yesterday morning. He seems a quite amicable chap as far as Bishops go so I approached him with a request.

I requested that the sum of $73,000 be released from the New Project Relief Account to settle an outstanding invoice for work carried out overseas. He has agreed to do this as soon as the invoice arrives. I know that $73,000 seems a lot of money, but if I had requested a smaller amount he would have become suspicious. Besides the extra money left over after paying all legal fees etc will help tied you and your family over until this business is concluded.

I realise to an honourable man like you Jack that this may seem a little underhanded and dishonest, but we have to think of the children. Of course the money will be repaid after the final transfer. So I�m sure that the Lord will forgive us.

Please find attached an invoice that requires your attention. If you just fill in the missing details, sign it and return it to me as quickly as possible then I can progress with assisting you and your family.

The Lord is with us� (Amen)

Sister Teresia

I attach an invoice for his completion. The following day I recieve his reply...

Quote:

My Dear Sister Teresia,

May the blessings of our Lord God Almighty be upon
you.

I thank you for your mail. Congratulations,
congratulations, My good Sister, oh it is wonderful, I
am happy to hear from you on hearing from the bank,
with belief and faith in the Lord, that the bank will
make the transfer very soon and we shall meet
ourselves.

But, I am a little bit worried about the situation of
things with me right at this moment. I don�t know how
to explain my present condition, I know that I am
supposed and mandated to settle every arising bills in
this transaction, and I have tried my very best, but
unfortunately I had no success. But I thank the Lord
for having someone like you at the beginning of this
transaction. Please my good Sister Teresia, I have
gone through your mail, and I have filled up the form
as you instructed me to do, and I have sent it to you
through attachment, so as to solve this outstanding
problem facing us.

Please my Sister Teresia, I will want you to try your
best Irrespective of the extent you have to go on,
make sure you secure this fees as you have promised,
because I have done all underground work to get this
transaction to this ripe stage, I have gone through
many places for the sake of securing this fund myself,
but I found out that no one is to lend me this fund.
Please it is time for Sacrifice and kindly make it my
good sister. I know that our Lord will surely see you
through on all your efforts.

Please my Sister Teresia, believe me that, It has cost
me Physical, Mental and Psychological drain to get
this transaction to this extent at least to save the
life of my family ands others, I believe you are my
Redeemer at conclusion stage, and a kind sister so to
say, kindly try your best, The Lord will help you,
give your self a while and sort for money you will
definitely succeed.

I am sorry hear about the passing away of Bishop
Comefast, and I pray that may his soul rest in Perfect
Peace.

Please my Sister Teresia, we have no time to waste, I
know that the Lord will guide you and make your
efforts over this transaction be a success, at least
on the issue to settle the activation fees.

Please my Sister Teresia, let us not hesitate to sort
things out and give the bank a response. I think our
luck has shined for the goodness of our entire life.

I will be waiting for your response regarding to this,
and I hope you will understand my situation.

Once again, I thank you for your wonderful effort as
it takes you time to look into the life of others
including the kids.

May the Lord Bless you in abundance

Thanks and God bless you and your family too, while I
and my family keeps on praying for you more and more.

Best regards,

Yours Brother(Jack).

Beautifully done Jack�but oh dear you�ve put the wrong date! I guess I�ll just have to get him to do it again�Meanwhile the bank writes�

Quote:

Dear Sister Teresia,

Greetings.

We are in receipt of your mail.

We wish to inform you that, no further payments will be made to this Bank
(I.B.A). But before we effect the transfer, the account re-activation fee
must be paid before we effect your transfer.

You should contact us for informations of how to make the payments of the re-
activation fees once the funds is been arranged.

We are sorry to hear about the pass away of the Bishop(Comefast). We
therefore sympathise with you.

We await your swift/urgent Compliance.

Thanks for your Co-operation.

Yours Faithfully,

Dr.Keffi Cabanda.

Then Jack gets in touch�

Quote:

My Dear Sister Teresia,

May the blessings of our Lord God Almighty be upon
you.

Please I am still waiting to hear from you as
regarding to the form which was filled.

I hope it was well done? Please, we do not have much
time to waste in this transaction.

I will be waiting for your response in due course.

Thanks and God bless you and your family in abundance,
while I and my family keeps on praying for you more
and more.

Best regards,

Yours Brother(Jack).

I give Jack the bad news�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Brother Jack

I am sorry that I could not contact you earlier, but as you know I have been away on Sabbaticals. I arrived back at the convent in the early hours of this morning and off course was relieved to have received your replies.

I have examined your invoice attachment dear brother and have found one small problem to detail that you have overlooked.

Where you have signed and dated the document, you have put the wrong date. The date should be the same as the work completed at the top of the form. The date you have put would mean that you submitted the invoice before the work would have been even started.

I know it is only a small matter, but the delicacy of the situation demands that no mistakes be called into question. Other than that it was perfect.

Please resubmit the invoice again but the date at the bottom must read�18/07/04. I ask you dear Jack that you give this matter your most urgent attention. I shall be at my desk throughout the day waiting to hear from you.

God speed my son.

Sister Teresia

After a few days he sends me this pathetic correction�

Quote:

My Dear Sister Teresia,

Please find the copy of the form which has been
re-filled.

I pray that you act on it immediately.

Thanks and God bless.

Yours Brother Jack.

I give him the bad news again�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Brother Jack.

How are you holding it together my son? I do hope this letter finds you well.

I am in receipt of your adjusted invoice, but my dear brother we still have a small problem. Due to the document being sent back and forth its quality has deteriorated making it almost impossible to read.

I am returning you a new form to sign. Please Jack take care with this one as we cannot afford any mistakes at this point. If you wish if it will make things easier for you, you can fax it to me. The No is�1860-3713571

Please Jack I feel that we are so close and I don�t think my nerves are as strong as yours. The worry of your predicament is really beginning to strain on my nerves.

Do your best my son and God be with you (Amen)

Sister Teresia

It was at this point that I really got fed up. The bait just didn't seem to be going anywhere. He sent me this...

Quote:

Dear sister Teresia,
Please re-write the fax No again to me because is not
clear in the last mail you sent so that i can fax it
immediately.

God bless you.
Yours beloved Jack.

I will end Pt 1 here. I am actually beginning to wonder at this point...who is baiting who?

Pt 2 however...takes a whole different twist Laughing

The frustration of Jack Kumba. Pt1	View next topic View previous topic