A thread for lads' "wise proverbs"

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419Eater is my life Joined: 04 Jul 2009 Posts: 277

Lads have occasionally written to me with their own nuggets of wisdom, which I assume they've thought up themselves. An example is below:

Quote:

"YOU CAN NEVER SPEND LIFE TO BUY MONEY. EXCEPT, YOU SPEND MONEY TO BUY LIFE AND WEALTH."

These kinds of sayings are like timeless quotable proverbs or aphorisms, except for their ungrammatical qualities and, frequently, their incoherence.

I think it would be interesting to see more of their attempts at giving sagely advice or deep insights of this kind--and the more questionable the advice or the more incoherent they are, while still sounding vaguely or superficially wise, the better.

If you have had lads say things like this, feel free to post them in this thread. Smile

Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 9:11 am

Mark Williams of the CBN was very concerned about "the social evil called SCAM" and closed with this mess of proverbs:

Quote:

Truth is always bitter.But remember that I have told you this.Do not be a brother to Mr. too late.A stitch on time saves nine.

Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 3:04 pm

We used to have a regular big question of the week thread. Where lads were invited to answer some vexing topical issue, and chip-in with their own brand of homespun advice.

You could try reviving that if you really want to explore the depths of lad sagacity. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 3:19 pm

I kinda like when the Lads try to put the fear of God into you for not sending the payment:

Quote:

You are not God and where you are today is not where you were yesterday. No condition is permanent and business is never by force. I did called the lawyer concerning
your attitude but he advice me to continue hoping on God to realize my dreams.

You are talking what I felt that you don't wish to help and I also wish to thank you and also to remind you that no condition is permanent. Where are those people who mocked Hannah in the bible? .

Hebrew 12:29. The wages of sin is death and in Revelation 21:27 nothing defiles can ever enter into the kingdom of God except those whose names are written in the lamb's book of life. God is the reward of mankind and he shall reward everyone according to his labor. If your blood can't wash away sins, don't judge. You know that my condition here is very bad, and i'm a sick woman in the hospital you are useing me to joke God is seeing you ok,

Since you denied me this help, I pray that God almighty shall equally deny you a help from someone when you needed it. Thanks and may God be with you.

They are right about one thing, Yesterday I was home with a beer in my hand and today I'm at work. Wink

Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 3:54 pm

Big Al wrote:

They are right about one thing, Yesterday I was home with a beer in my hand and today I'm at work. Wink

Yes, but tomorrow I'm assuming you'll be at work again, which makes him wrong :p

Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 7:00 pm

^^^ I'll stand corrected. Embarassed

Posted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 10:35 pm

Quote:

Don't celebrate evil but glorify honesty in all circumstances.

I think this Lad would tick most of not all of the boxes in the Psychopathy checklist.

Posted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 10:58 pm

This is just pure gold.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 12:10 am

I received these a while back if you truly enjoy such things:

Quote:

· Agwo noro ibe ya na-enwe odu abuo.
[The snake that swallows another will have two tails.]

· Ihe di be evu di be añu
[What is in the hornet's nest is in the bee's hive.]

· Nwaanyi mara mma ma nwee ajo omume, a ga-alu ya alu; nwaanyi joro njo ma nwee ezi omume, a ga-alukwa ya alu; nwunye mmadu ka ha ga-abu; ma nwaanyi joro njo nwe ajo omume anaghi ebi be di.
[A beautiful woman with bad character is marriageable; an ugly woman with good character is also marriageable -- they will both be wives; but an ugly woman with bad character does not live in a husband's house.]

· Okorobia onu-ntu na-egbunye n'akpa ndi ozo.
[A chronic bachelor is working for other people.]

· Akpataghi aku na-akpata ntukwuba onu.
[Destitution breeds disdain.]

· Ike ka e ji-añu ogwu.
[It takes some strength to swallow drugs.]

· Udene na egbe anaghi azo nri: udene na-eri ozu; egbe na-ebu na nkike.
[The vulture and the kite do not scramble for food: the vulture is a scavenger; the kite, a predator.]

· Kama mmanya ga-esere ogo na ogo okwu, ya waa n'uzo
[Instead a pot of wine will breed animosity among in-laws, let it break on the way.]

· Onye riri osisi oji kpaa ya nku ka o nwere ike: anaghi ari enu oke oji kwa daa.
[While on top of iroko tree, gather all the firewood you can: it is not every day that one scales the great iroko.]

· Anaghi eje akwa onye kwulu udo
[No one attends the funeral of a suicide]

· Atulu na-acho ipu mpi jee jua ebune ka ekwo di ya.
[A sheep that will grow horns should ask the ram how its neck feels.]

· Anaghi eji na aguu na-agu noo ukwara.
[No one swallows phlegm to appease the pangs of hunger]

· Akpara akwu bu akpara-akwu; ibulu ishi akwu bu ohi.
[To extract a palm nut is exactly that --to extract a palm nut; to take the entire head of palm nut is stealing ]

· Ishi kote evu: evu agbaa ya.
[If the head that disturbs the hornet's nest: it pays.]

· Ekwughiekwu mere onu; anughianu mere nti.
[Unspoken, blame the mouth; unheard, blame the ear.]

· O'u onye ga-aka nwaanyi ajo mmuo gburu nwa mara maka amuosu.
[Who will know better the evils of witchcraft than the woman who lost a child to evil spirits.]

· Onye vu ozu enyi anaghi eji ukwu akpa mpuzu.
[He who carries the carcass of an elephant does not search for crickets with his legs.]

· Anaghi acho ihe na-akpa onye na-acho ihe?
[You don't look for something in the pocket of someone who is looking for something.]

· Ura ga-eju onye nwuru anwu afo.
[A dead person shall have all the sleep necessary.]

· Onye ite abughi onye ahia
[A clay-pot retailer is not really in business.]

· Okuko na-aboputa mma na-egbu ya.
[The fowl digs out the blade that kills it.]

· Ukpala gbabara n'ikpo okuko na-ala ala mmuo.
[The grasshopper that runs into the mist of fowls ends up in the land of spirits.]

· Onye a kporo apari, o na-ehi n'ama nna ya, abughi apari.
[A presumed fool who sleeps in his father's house is not a fool.]

· Ndi na-eje mposi abali na-ahu ukpana ndi mmuo.
[Those who defecate at night see the ghost grasshopper.]

· Nwata bunie nna ya enu, akpaamu ya ayochie ya anya.
[If a child lifts his father, his scrotum will blindfold him.]

· Onye hapu onu ya, uguru arachaa ya.
[If one fails to lick his lips, the harmattan will do it.]

· Okuko si na ihe ya ji-ele anya n'enu ma ya na añu mmiri bu na ihe na-egbu si n'igwe abia.
[The chicken says it looks up when drinking water because what kills it comes from the sky.]

· Ijiji na-enweghi onye ndumodu na-eso ozu ala n'inyi.
[A fly that has no counselor follows the corpse to the grave.]

· "Nwunye anyi, nwunye anyi": ka ndeli bia ka anyi mara onye o bu nwunye ya.
["Our wife, our wife": come midnight and we will know whose wife she really is.]

· Ula towa uto, ekwowe ya ekwowe.
[When sleep becomes enjoyable, we snore.]

· "Nwa anwuna, nwa anwuna": nwa nwuo ka anyi mara ma chi agaghi efo.
["May the child not die, may the child not die": Let it die, and let's see if the day will not break.]

· O bialu be onye abiagbuna ya, mgbe o ga-ala mkpumkpu apukwana ya n'azu.
[May one's visitor not constitute a problem, so that on his departure he will not leave with a hunchback.]

· Nwa ovu na-eto, o di ka o ga-aka nne ya.
[When the baby wren is growing, it looks like it would be bigger than its mother.]

· Okuko na-arogoro ite onu, chetekwe mma gburu ya.
[The chicken frowns at the cooking pot, ignoring the knife that killed it.]

· Ihe ka-nte bata n'onu nte, nte etefu.
[When something greater than the pigmy cricket enters its hole, it takes off.]

· A gbara aka na-azo ana, onye nwe ji a na-ako ji.
[If you dispute land ownership empty-handed, the person who has yams will be planting them.]

· Onye bulu ihe isi, ijiji esoro ya.
[The fly follows the person who is carrying a smelly stuff.]

· Uzu na-amaghi akpu ogene lee egbe anya n'odu.
[The blacksmith who does know how to forge a metal gong should look at the tail of a kite.]

· Oke oshimmiri anokataghi rie onye obula nke o na-ahughi ukwu ya anya.
[The ocean never swallows a person with whose leg it does not come in contact. ]

· Onye buru chi ya uzo, o gbagbue onwe ya n'oso.
[He who walks before his godly guardian does the race of his life]

· Okuko nyuo ahu, ana achuwa ya oso
[When the fowl farts, the ground becomes a nuisance.]

· Onye na-acho igba oso si na-aroro ya anya
· [A person who has plans to flee contends that someone made an evil eye at him.]

· Ulili si na-ejekete ije si tuo nkwa oso maka ihe oso e mee.
[The ground squirrel says he who walks should sometimes break into a trot, in case the need to run arises.]

· Okwulu anaghi amiri ote ofe.

[A master chef is not blessed with a good harvest of okra.]

· Mmiri riri enyi ka mbe huru na-awa ogodo: o ga-efe mmiri a efe ka o ga-awu ya awu?
[The tortoise gears up to besides a river that swallowed an elephant: is it going to fly over this river or just jump over?]

· Nkwu abuo kwudebere na-ajutu igu.
[The fronds of two adjoining palm trees abut.]

· Ohia woro gi nku, sere gi onu
[Th forest that denies you firewood has massaged your neck.]

· O bia mgbe Alio Ene gburu atu, ya biakwa ma atu zogbuo Alio Ene.
[He who calls whenever Elder Ene kills a deer, let him call if the deer kicks the living daylight out of Elder Ene.]

· O bulu na i taa m aru n'ike, ma i zeghi nshi; mu taa gi aru n'isi, agaghi m ezere uvulu.

[If you bite me on the butt, despite the danger of sinking your teeth into fecal matter, then if I bite you on the head, I will disregard the danger of sinking my teeth into cerebral matter.]

· A na-asi onye e ji ugwo na agaghi akwu ya ugwo e ji ya, onye e ji ugwo na-asi na e nye ya ewu ojii na ya agaghi ewe.
[A creditor is being told he won't be paid, and he is saying he won't accept a black goat!]

Okuko mmanya na-egbu ahubeghi mmanwulu ara na-ayi.

[A drunken fowl has not met a mad fox.]

Bete anu, bete anu, o'u kwa n'ahu ehi?

Cut meat, cut meat, is it not from the body of a cow?

Obele mmanwu na-akpa ike maka na ijele anoghi nso.

[A small masquerade is powerful because a big masquerade is not around.]

Nwaanyi anaghi-eji na nwunyedi ya kwere ya ekene nke oma kpowa ya ogo.

[A woman does not regard her sister-wife as sister-in-law just because she (her husband's other wife) accepted her greeting gracefully.]

A na-akwa akwa ndi oke tagbulu, ngwere ewere nnu na-eso eze ha.

While we mourn those who died from rat bites, lizards sharpen their teeth with salt.

Okuko, rie ogugu: "Unu si m rie onwu?" Okuko, hapu ogugu: "Unu si aguu gbuo m?"

Fowl, eat praying mantis: "Do you want me to die?" Fowl, let praying mantis be: "Do you want me to starve to death?"

Onye si na ya anaghi ata anu nkita, ya arakwala mmiri ofe ya.

[He who abhors dog meat should not eat dog-meat soup.]

A tuoro omara, o mara, a tuoro ofeke, o fenye ishi n'ohia.
[If you tell a wise one, he understands; tell a dunce, he runs into the bush.]

Ukpana na-ere n'oku si na ya na-asha mmanu.
[A grasshopper roasting over fire claims it is emitting fat.]

Were ire guo eze gi onu abughi na o nwere nke na-efu.
[Count your teeth with your tongue does not mean you are losing any.]

O di mma iji onye iberibe akwa ozu; ma na o'u mgbe a juru si: o si na ama onye?

Okpoko ugbo gburu, nti chiri ya.

Nti na-anughi anu ihe, mgbe a ga-egburu ishi e gburu nti.
The ear that won't hear, when the head is cut off, it goes.]

A furu nwata chete nna ya.
[A child reminds folks of his father.]

Nwata si na nne ya agaghi arahu ura: ngwanu, ya na ura buruzianu enyi! "
[A child that won't allow its mother to sleep: okay, let sleep be its friend!]

=====@@more@@====

A na-ekwu ekwu, a na-eme eme.

Talk the talk, walk the walk.

A ka na-ekwu na ngwere tagburu mmadu, nwa oke na-eso eze ya!

O nweghi ebe onye bi, ibe ya amaghi.

Ala adighi mma bu ulu ndinze.

=================

FROM NDIHIE:

Ulili si onye jekete ije ya tuo nkwa oso, maka ihe oso emee mee.
[The ground squirrel says a person who walks should sometimes break into a trot, in case the need to run arises.]

BE PROACTIVE, not REACTIVE

====================
Eze mbe si na e jighi ehi kwa nne ya di na nso, mana a si ya wete na ya enweghi.
lit: The (king) tortoise said it is an abomination not to conduct his mother's funeral with a cow, but if asked to produce one he couldn't afford it.
Exp: Emphasizing the importance of the necessity of an object even though one cannot afford it.

Eze mbe si na nsogbu bu nke ya, ya jiri kworo ya n'azu
Lit: The tortoise said that trouble is its own; that's why it carries trouble on its back
Exp: One should try and shoulder one's own burden

Eze mbe si na olu oha di mma, mana oriri oha na-aka ahu.
Lit: The tortoise said that many hands at work is enjoyable, but many mouths to feed can be embarrassing.
Exp: A warning that it is not easy to feed the multitude.

Eze mbe si na ihe ya ji-achiri ihe egwu ya aga njem bu maka ya ezu ndiegwu
Lit: The tortoise said that it always travels with its musical instrument in case it meets other musicians.
Exp: Stressing a state of maintaining a state of preparedness.

Nwaanyi muta ite ofe mmiri mmiri, di ya amuta ipi utara aka were suru ofe.
Li: If a woman decides to make the soup watery, the husband will learn to dent the foofoo before dipping it into the soup.
Exp: one should learn to change tactics to suit a situation.

O na-abu a si nwata wuba ahu, o saba afo ya.
Lit: Tell a child to wash his body, he washes his stomach.
Exp: This is a sign of immaturity.

Agwo emeghi nke o jiri buru agwo, umuaka achiri ya hie nku.
Lit: If a snake fails to show its venom, little kids will use it in tying firewood.
Exp: There are times when one defends ones capability.

Akwukwo juru n'ohia, ma a baa a choba okazi.
Lit: There are various leaves in the bush, but people go in to look for okazi leaves.
Exp: Many are called but few are chosen.

Ekpere niile bere n'Amen.
Lit: All prayers end in Amen.
Exp: The essence of true religion is righteousness.

Onwu egbuchughi ji e jiri chu aja, e mesie o pue ome.
Lit: If the yam used in sacrifice does not die prematurely, it will eventually germinate.
Exp: Things will eventually improve despite the present difficulties.

O te aka o di njo, emesie o ga-adi mma.
Exp: Things will eventually improve despite the present difficulties.

Aka a na-ana dike bu itube ya (abuba) ugo.
Lit: Appropriate handshake for the valiant is to cap him with an eagle (feather).
Exp: Noble deeds should be appreciated.

Azu na-eloghi ibe ya adighi ebu.
Lit: A fish that does not swallow other fishes does not grow fat.
Exp: There are occasions where one acts without qualms.

Isi kotara ebu ka ebu na-agba.
Lit: It is the head that disturbs the wasp that the wasp stings.
Exp: Used in warning trouble makers about serious consequences.

E tie dike n'ala, a nu uzu ya.
Lit: Knock a valiant man on the ground and the shouts will be tremendous.
Exp: The downfall of a famous man attracts public attention.

O bu mmuo ndi na-efe na-egbu ha.
Lit: It is the deity that people worship that kills them.
Exp: A reference to the efficacy of people's belief.

O na-abu akota ihe ka ubi, e lee oba.
Lit: Whilst farming, if one encounters what is bigger than the farm, one sells the barn.
Exp: One who incurs what is beyond one's ability may sell all one has.

E gbuo dike n'ogu uno, e ruo n'ogu agu e lote ya.
Lit: Kill a warrior during skirmishes at home, you will remember him when fighting enemies.
Exp: Don't destroy your leaders.

Ewu nwuru n'oba ji abughi agu gburu ya.
Lit: A goat that dies in a barn was not killed by hunger.
Exp: He has the means but his undoing is laziness.

A ma ka mmiri si were baa n'opi ugboguru?
Lit: Who knows how water entered into the stalk of the pumpkin?
Exp: Who can explain this puzzle.

A chuo aja ma a hughi udele, a mara na ihe mere be ndimmuo.
Lit: If the vulture fails to hover at the end of a sacrifice, then you know that something happened in the land of spirits.
Exp: The regulars must be around otherwise something is amiss.

Si kele onye nti chiri; enu anughi, ala anu.
Lit: Salute the deaf; if the heavens don't hear, the earth will hear.
Exp: Let us do the correct thing, there are those who will understand.

Nwunye awo si na di atoka uto, ya jiri nuta nke ya kworo ya n'azu.
Lit: The female toad said that husband is so sweet that when she got married, she carried her husband permanently on the back.
Exp: A humorous proverb used in cajoling women into loving their husbands.

Ugo chara acha adi(ghi) echu echu
Lit: A mature eagle feather will ever remain pure.
Exp: One well trained will stand the test of time.

Onyeubiam adi(ghi) aza "Omeokachie."
Lit: An indigent does not take the title of "Omeokachie" (i.e. one who completes whatever he puts his hand to)
Exp: Used in condemning false claims.

ETA: I hope who I received them from approves. If they contact me and ask I remove them, I will.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 11:24 am

Big Al wrote:

If they contact me and ask I remove them, I will.

Then you can simply re-post them behind a login. One should learn to change tactics to suit a situation.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 8:39 pm

Could also just request the thread be moved to HH&T.

Posted: Sun Dec 22, 2013 1:35 am

This is one of the most bizarre Lad sayings I've encountered.

Quote:

As God Have Already Make A Very Heavy Weed To Blow,So There Fore A Cheeking His Anus Must To Es-pose To Discover

Posted: Sun Dec 22, 2013 10:54 am

I'm still not sure, even in context, what Pekkar meant:

Quote:

i have complained to those who think life is a comedy to those who feel life is a tragedy

Posted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:14 am

Here's a bunch of drivel from a "Marine Corps General".

Quote:

Your vibration is not perpetual.You should allow your intention to be your reaction.Have you made the achievement of your success a mountain? Listen in and learn how to change your success to a mole hill that you can easily climb. Your success is never bigger than you.

Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 5:53 am

In response to my character losing an eye:

Quote:

Every has two eyes but by being there for each other we can have four eyes each.

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 12:56 am

See my freshly added coconut quote in my siggy.

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